You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 114. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Ooh, today we’re going to talk about disconnecting from yourself and the work. Ooh, it happens. And I’m going to give you some ideas on how to move forward. But first I want to give a listener shout out, and this one goes to Tammie, mtfiddler68. And the title of her episode on iTunes was Just Mind-Blowing, episode number 98, when you don’t know what you don’t know. When I first listened to this, at first I was confused because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Then when I listened again and really thought about this concept, it just blew my mind to think that I’m afraid of trying something new or different because it’s unfamiliar or I’m not sure what I’m doing just made me realize I need to try it all that much more. That I just don’t know how yet. Each one of your podcasts is so amazing. I just don’t know how each one gets better. Love them all so much. Thank you so much for putting these out there. They help me so much. So much love to you.

Well, you know Tammie, I love me some Tammie. I love Tammie. She is amazing. You know, Tammie, I love, have loved watching, she is a Transform Boss and Transform mentor, and I’ve loved watching her journey. You know, Tammie’s lost a lot of weight, but most importantly, Tammie has just learned to show up for herself, to try new things, to get out of her comfort zone. And she helps other women with that too. I love you Tammie.

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My love, we are in the full swing of the holidays as I record this. And I have been sick, just a head cold, but it was a sign that I needed to rest. So that is what I did. I’ve had a busy November and October and my body needed rest. So I gave myself rest. You know, I put some things off, delayed some things I was going to do. And I have spent a lot of time in bed. I have slept more this week than I have in a long time. It’s been a good reminder for me to slow down and get more rest.

I mean, my body had to like produce an illness for me to realize it, but it’s a good reminder. And a good reminder as we all go through the holidays how important slowing down and getting rest is. I’ve been thinking about today’s show because especially during busy seasons of our lives or during the holidays, we disconnect from ourselves. We stop showing up for ourselves. We go into our automatic brains, old beliefs and patterns.

I was coaching a client and they were telling me that they had a lot of things happening. Their life was feeling busy. They, you know, had all of these different things going on and they had kind of disconnected from “the work.” And they wanted to get back into the work. And they had all these thoughts about, I should be doing this, I should be doing that. But as I was coaching her, what was actually keeping her stuck was this thought, I should get back into the work. Because when she thought that thought she felt overwhelmed and disappointed in herself. And when she felt overwhelmed and disappointed, her actions were to not do any of it. To do all the things for all the other humans, but nothing for herself.

See love, when we feel overwhelmed or we start to beat ourselves up, we actually don’t take action. We do nothing. Disconnection is a trigger. It’s like an alert warning, kind of like the gas warning on your car that you’re running low. And you believing that you must be perfect and do all of the things, it’s causing this feeling of overwhelm. And so then the action that you take is nothing. It’s disconnection. Even in periods of rest, I’m still connected with myself.

We believe that rest is disconnection. And for many of you, it also equals eating “comfort food” to go along with the rest. This week, my body needed fuel food. It needed food that would fuel it, make it well, heal it. I needed rest. I needed to be present with myself, take care of myself. See love, disconnection is taking care of everyone else.

I want to say that again because I want you to hear it, because it’s so important. When you disconnect, you are taking care of everyone else and not yourself. I had to remind even myself this week, because it’s the holiday season. So many things are happening, in the business in Transform, at my day job, my family, you know, all these things. And I had to remind myself that I could not disconnect from what I needed. What the self-care that my body needed. And so just remember, when you disconnect from this work, and what you’re really doing is disconnecting from yourself, you’re taking care of everyone else, and you’re putting yourself on the back burner.

This work, my four fundamentals, and if you’re a Transform boss, the weight loss course and coaching, it is about doing it imperfectly. Doing one thing until it becomes a part of your automatic brain. It’s about failing, and then deciding what your next best action is. Telling yourself, I need to get back in, I need to restart, I need to start over, I need to do all the things, I need to catch up, well, that’s keeping you doing nothing.

Decide on purpose what you want to think. I’m learning how to show up for myself. I’m learning to do one thing. I’m learning to start with one thing and take the next best action. So start with one thing today. Then do it again, then again. Then fail. Then take the next best action. Then another next best action. Then fail, then fail. Then do it again. You do not need to do all the things. Just focus on one, like the realistic plan. One thing will get you a faster result than doing five things. Five things will keep you doing nothing.

And the transformational questions and actions today are one, have you been disconnected from the work from taking care of you? Number two, why? Just be curious. No judgment or beat down necessary. Number three, what can you learn from it? Again, this is just being curious. And number four, what one thing can you do for you today? What is your next best action for you?

And if you want to go deeper on this work, do the free eight-day podcast challenge. Go to bflycoaching.com/podcast8. So good my love. See you next week.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.