You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 117. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Today, we have a very special episode. This is going to be released the week of Christmas, and I wanted to do something special. I love the holiday season and it’s all full of love. And so why not have my love, my amazing husband on the show. Paul and I have been married for 13 years and together for almost 15. I am so blessed to have him as a partner in my life.

And you know, every time we have a Transform Boss Weight Loss event, so a virtual event or Unstoppable Live, Paul comes on and we kind of do this, you know, where one of the coaches interview us. And it’s one of the boss’s favorite things. They love to hear from Paul. And I think they just love a little sneak peek into our lives. And so we wanted to share a little bit of this on the podcast.

Now today, we also have a special guest host, Jenn Taylor. And she is a Transform Boss Weight Loss coach. She’s going to interview us. And just so you know, we have no idea what the questions are. We always like them to just be for us not to know, so it’s just really authentic and it just makes it super fun. So before we begin, Jenn, can you introduce yourself to all of the ladies? This isn’t your first time on the podcast? No, this is my second. My name is Jenn Taylor, and I am one of the weight loss coaches with Transform. I just love it so much. I’m amazed that I get to call that my job.

I live in Utah and I am married with two boys who are 10 and 7. And so my life is full of sports and everything for them, you know, and then just going and loving the outdoors, the mountains here and everything we have to offer. So that’s a little bit about me.

Okay, so you said that you guys have been together now for 15 years. I would love to know how the two of you met. Baby, you want to take that one? Yeah. We met on Match.com. That was 2007. We went out on a date and just hit it off right away. You know, during that time I had been going on probably a lot of dates, I would say. I didn’t feel that connection really with any of the other ones. With Shannan, I just felt it right away on the first date. And didn’t see any red flags, which is, which is unusual. I mean, you’ve learned my cray since, but yeah, I was really good at hiding it. Yeah. I didn’t see any though for a while.

So she hid them a long time. I’m just kidding. She, she doesn’t have nearly as many as issues as a normal person. I think. I mean, I, I really believe that still, you know, after 13 years of marriage. So yeah. So for me that was a big deal, not seeing red flags, because if they come out on a first date, it’s like, you know, the well runs deep. Well, you know, we’re all human for sure. And we have human experiences, but I’m glad I, too, as soon as I went on the date with Paul, I was pleasantly surprised for sure. I just thought he was super sexy and so cute. His picture on Match.com, it was, it didn’t look like him. I really, honestly, to this day, I don’t, I just don’t think it looked like him. And so when I saw him, I was like, wow.

And we just really hit it off. And for me, every time I went on a date with him, it just kept getting better. And the more that I got to know him, the more I was like, oh yeah, like I like, like I like him. And then I loved him. And I didn’t have that, you know, to Paul’s point about, you know, red flags and dating, you know, you meet all sorts of different folks. And I would say a lot of the guys that I went on a date with, you know, even if I went on a second date, it would get worse, like every time. But with Paul, it just always was getting better and better every single time.

And I remember this one time he had called me to come over and it was unexpected. You know, we weren’t going to see each other that night. And then he called and said, Hey, I’m free. You know, come. And I remember still to this day, I remember driving down Elliott and going to his house and feeling like this excitement of just like, I’m so excited that I get to like, spend time with him. Like I just, you know, I just loved it, but yes, we are a Match.com success story.

So, and this was back in the day, I mean, 2007. Think about it. I barely had a computer. I didn’t have a smartphone either. Like I had to wait until I got home, like check the little things because you know, that predated my smartphone deal. So I love it.

Paul, what inspires you about Shannan. What about Shannan inspires you? Shannan’s really worked on herself, especially in the last five years or so. And I noticed a huge difference actually. And I, you know, she’s, like I said, she’s always been great, but in the last five years or so, she’s really brought it to a whole new level. Just kind of the way she accepts me is pretty, pretty amazing actually. You know, it’s, it’s hard not to notice if somebody is just very accepting towards you and even kind of let go of some of any old quirks. So just her accepting me and being tolerant of me, I think that’s really inspired me to try to do the same thing, to try to be tolerant and patient in a lot of ways, especially in our relationship.

Mm, I wish you guys could feel the love oozing out of this screen right now. Shannan, what about Paul inspires you? Oh, there, there are a lot of things. One, I’ve always thought this. I always have thought that Paul is really kind, and he is, you know, kind to the humans, kind to the animals, kind to people. I think he has a service heart. I think he wants to help people and he wants to serve people. I don’t know, just from day one. I just always, I remember, I have to tell this quirky little story, but in Arizona during the summertime, we, you know, have crickets, a lot of them, you know, and I remember when we were dating, him like not killing the cricket. Like picking the cricket up and taking it outside. And I was like, let’s kill the cricket. He just, but again, he’s just like, oh, I’m just going to take it outside.

And so I think that is just, I don’t know. It’s just one of the things I, I just think he is just kind, and he has this really loving way about him. It does inspire me, I think, to be better. I think too, with Paul, what inspires me is Paul is really confident in himself and in his body, and me being a woman who’s had food issues and body image issues and all the things, Paul, I would say, you could pretty much care less about food. You know, it’s just like it’s there to nourish him. And I, I’ve just always admired that so much. That and his confidence in his body too. Right. It’s just, he’s super sexy, and he’s just confident in it. And I just, you know, I love it.

Paul, you touched on this a little bit, but Shannan, you teach us in Transform and through the work to really get off the diet roller coaster and just begin loving our bodies and ourselves for who we are fully. So Paul, this question is for you, when did you notice or realize that Shannan started seeing and loving herself the way that you always looked at her and loved her for who she was? I noticed it pretty quickly. To be honest, I think some of it had to do with me accepting her body because I’ve always liked Shannan’s body. This is a G rated show, right?

I remember her being surprised that I liked certain parts of her body, like the small of her back, and things like that. Like there’s a little curve there. And I remember her being surprised about that, and just, I think that has probably helped her a lot. And I wasn’t doing it intentionally. I was just, I liked it, you know, certain things. I think that I noticed it pretty much right away actually, but I think that even over time, it’s gotten better for her. For sure. Yeah. For sure. I think that she’s worked on that and come to really appreciate her body also. As much as you do.

And I just want to say one thing, because I do think Paul loved my body, I would say a hundred percent way before I did, but it did, for sure it did help me, right, to have someone who, you know, he, you know, I don’t know. I remember one time he said he, not only the small of my back, I’ll never forget when you’re like, oh, I really, you know, he liked my stomach. I was like, I’ve been trying to hide it, you know? And he’s like, no, I’m, I’m down with all of it. And there is nothing better than just coming into this true acceptance and love of your own body and just really coming back home to it where you’re not at war with it. You’re not trying to hide it. You’re not trying to run away from it or buffer it or disconnect from it. Ah, that work has been, I would say of all the work I’ve done, it’s been the most important work for my journey.

Both of you have pretty full schedules, right. So I would love for you both to share how you make time or fit time in for each other spending time together. And then, you know, your individual time. Yeah. I mean Tuesday night is our night because I work nights during the week. I don’t get home until Shannan’s usually sleeping. Sometimes she can’t sleep cause I’m not there, or she will fall asleep early and then wake up when I get home. But lately she’s been sleeping, which is fine. You know, when I get home, I don’t get back until 10 or so, but we try to make a little time beforehand. Also, Shannan will usually schedule a lot of things that she does at night, during the week on times that I’m gone. So that works out pretty well. So we’ll have a little bit of time between when I leave so that we can hang out a little bit and, you know, just trying to make a little bit of time here and there can make a big difference, just a little bit of time.

So, and then Tuesday night we make a point of it to just spend the night just us, you know, and then the weekends, of course, but yeah. Yeah, I think it’s important. I think Paul, I love being with Paul. I love spending time with him. And I think with his schedule, one of the things, the very first thing that I changed is I used to have coaching calls on Tuesday night. And as soon as he got his new schedule, I was like, oh, okay, I moved the coaching call and I moved everything off because I knew, okay, that’s the one night during the week that we’re gonna, you know, spend together. And I do adjust my schedule even at, you know, my day job where I go in a lot earlier so that I can have an hour before he goes to work.

And I try not to schedule even coaching calls that early, just so we can have a little bit of time before he goes into work. And then weekends, you know, we’re just really aware of, you know, if we do have family stuff and all of that stuff that we still have those hours of just us, because that connection between us is so important. I love spending time with him and we have our favorite things that we like to do. And so I find if I’m away from him too long, I just, I can’t wait to, as I say, get in bed and put my head on his chest and just chill and watch TV. It’s like one of my favorite things. I love it.

All right. You’ve talked Shannan before about having manuals for our spouses, our significant others. And how has your guys’s relationship changed since you were able to drop that manual for each other? Yeah. I think Paul talked a little bit about this earlier about, you know, me just really accepting him and loving him and, you know, I think even early on in our relationship, I would for sure have more manuals or more things for him. Right. You know, why don’t you do this or why? And now I just check myself.

Anytime, I’m like, well, why isn’t he doing this or why, then I’m just like, okay, what, what is it about me that I’m frustrated with? Because that’s mostly it. And I find that, you know, I dunno, dropping the manuals, Paul just automatically, he does so many things that I never even have to think about or never even have to ask. And it’s just these little simple things. If he forgets to put the trash out, I put the trash out and I never think a second thing about it. And it’s just, again, I think we try to do those things for each other. I’m always thinking about him and I want to make his life easier. I love him. And so I’m, I’m thinking about ways to do that. And he does that for me too.

Yeah, I think just like Shannan was saying, just doing things because they need to be done. Cause I think that is a common thing that a lot of couples get involved with is kind of this tit for tat, I’m doing this, I’m doing more than you, you know? And that’s not, that’s not something that we really partake in. Yeah. I mean, we really don’t. If it needs to get done, I, I do, I try to do it, you know, but sometimes if you’re doing the same thing over and over, it gets old. So I just don’t do it for a little bit and then she’ll do it for awhile.

You know what I mean? Like you take care of it, but we generally don’t have to say anything like I’ve been doing the dishes five days in a row or whatever it is, you know, it’s a, it’s a work in progress. I think always because it’s human nature to kind of have manuals for people and expectations. So just dropping a lot of the expectations, I think is a big part of it. If we can drop expectations, then we can accept that person more and just not expect unrealistic things. And then maybe even be surprised that when they do things because we’re not expecting them, if that makes sense.

Yeah. I was going to say, I love that approach of like showing up to make their life easier out of love, like who doesn’t want that. Right? Yeah. We have a real good flow between each other. I do believe that like, as we’ve grown as a couple, as we continue to grow, I would say, you know, you said we’re really busy. We are. We have a full life for sure. And I dunno, we just have each other’s backs.

Right. And I think sometimes he can tell if I’m really like at kind of my wits end and he starts to pick extra things up and then, you know, I can see that with him too. So I don’t know. We just, we just have a good vibe. Yeah. And Shannan will do little things that I notice, you know, I don’t know if I ever, if I always say it, but she’ll do little things. For example, we get dinner, she’ll plate it for me and bring it in, you know, and just, won’t say it won’t make a big thing out of it. You know, little things like that, like Shannan was saying little things like that make a big difference. Yeah. They really do.

What is something about each of you that people don’t know that would be fun to share? I don’t know, shoot. Like a secret talent or just something fun. I know that is a tough one. I’m like, shoot, let me think. Okay. So I’ll go first. Let me think. I think everyone who meets Paul knows that he is, you know, super smart. I mean, he’s really smart and he’s a musician, one he’s very talented. I think lots of ladies know that, but he is so talented. He can play any instrument. So I have to say that first because I think that’s one, it’s just a really amazing talent.

He sings amazing and he writes music. He can just hear a song and then I watch him and he just, you know, he can just pick it up. Just, I’m sure you can read music, but I, I think you just can hear things too and just pick it up and just play it. He’s just really talented. And our grandbabies love it. I mean, he has this song that he wrote, the grandbabies love to sing it with him and play. And it’s just something that I don’t know, it just melts my heart. It always has, honestly, from when I first knew him to now, when he plays the guitar, there are certain songs that just instantly, I can just, if, even if I’m like super stressed, I instantly just relax because it’s just so good. So that to me, I don’t know if it’s secret. It is, it is just one of his biggest talents. It’s so good. And he’s a really good singer too.

I mean, Shannan’s so transparent I think, especially with the ladies in Transform that I don’t know if there is too much, but I mean, I could just say about her. She’s just, she’s very family oriented and just loves to give and give and give and give, you know, and doesn’t expect anything in return. Really. I think that all of our family can say that’s true. I mean, she’s just such a giving person. Yeah. I mean, that just pops in my head right away, because like I said, most of everything, everybody knows anyway. I think that’s a special talent for sure. I can vouch for that. Shannan definitely like gives all of herself and expects nothing in return.

As far as you two, what dreams do you have for the future? I have a lot of dreams. For us, for the business, but baby you go first. I’d like for us to help as many ladies as possible, you know, first off with Transform, but also I’d like to, you know, I’m finishing up with my master’s degree and starting up with counseling and psychology right now, as many know, and after two years I’ll be able to open up my own practice. I would like to do that also, that’s kind of been a dream of mine since I was like a teenager. So it’s kind of amazing that I get to make it happen right now, you know? And then I’d just like for us to, to keep growing, like we are and just keep doing what we’re doing.

Yeah. I know, I too. Right. I, my dream is to help every woman live in a body that they love and live their best lives. And I also want to create a company where women can be employed and grow and, you know, reach dreams and goals that they never, right, achieve, you know, even could think of, right. For their own families. And, you know, I know Paul and I, we also have dreams for our kids. You know, we have three children and each one of them are so amazing and special and unique and they all have these just amazing talents.

And so to watch our three children, plus our daughter-in-law, Telyn, and all of our grandbabies, we want to watch them grow and just reach all the dreams that they have. And our family is the center point of us. You know, we love them and I think they ground us and we want everything for them too, right. And for us, I think, I agree it’s just to keep growing and the love that we have for each other. And I can’t think of just someone, I just want to like spend my this life and if there’s other lives, those lives too, with Paul. And I think we just continue to grow and we continue to support each other through it. I don’t know.

It’s just an amazing thing. And I know we want to travel the world when all of this, you know, when it’s time, because we love doing that and just live like these extraordinary lives. And I’m so proud, I can’t wait. You know, I’m going to be the first one, just, I can’t wait for Paul to open his own practice and achieve that dream that he has. And he’s worked so hard for it. And I’m just super proud of him.

All right. That’s all the questions I have. Do you guys have anything else that you want to share? No. Thank you, Jenn. I loved these questions. Paul, is there anything else you want to say to the ladies? No, I think that I’m pretty happy with, with what we already said. Yeah. You know, ladies, this is just again, a special little treat. I thank you, Paul, for coming on the podcast, and Jenn for hosting. Again, I’m just so grateful. I get to have all of these amazing humans, and I get this amazing partner in this life. And how blessed am I?

You know ladies, this is what I tell you. I just want to share one quick thing because you know, I was a single mother, I was divorced. I, you know, had a relationship after that, that, you know, it wasn’t that great, we’ll say. And then I was single for a long time, and I had this dream of this relationship. I didn’t want a relationship that was full of contention and full of all the things. And I just wanted a person who was in and who wanted to grow with me through all my own faults. And I just was lucky to find Paul and I think it’s available to everyone. And it just starts with changing your thoughts and your beliefs. Because I remember doing work on myself to be the person that Paul would want to partner up with.

That was important. I had this dream of Paul. Really I did. But I knew that I needed to work on me and that, and I still think that today, I don’t think he needs to change. I need to work on me and continue to evolve myself and my growth. And that is the key to all of it. I love you, baby. Jenn, thank you so much.

And you know ladies, if you want to take this work deeper and you want to learn how to lose weight for the last time, have the most amazing relationships, then start with my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready, to take it. And it’ll start you on the fundamentals of what I teach. All right, bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.