You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 139. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Oh my goodness. Did you listen to last week’s podcast? If you haven’t, you want to do it, episode number 138. My Transform Boss Weight Loss coaches, they took over the podcast. How fun is that? If you have not listened to it, you for sure want to. The coaches came in and talked through some of their challenges, some of the things that they’ve seen as they’ve coached other women, some of their challenges and how to overcome them. And it was a super fun podcast too. You do not want to miss that.

So my love, I am so excited. We are getting ready to open, and I know we’ve communicated that we’re going to do it in June, but we’ve decided that we’re gonna do it in July. We’re gonna have some summer fun and open in July. So again, you’ll always want to get on my email list. The easiest way to get on my email list is to take my free course. You can go to freebosscourse.com and that way you just have all the updated information. You can also follow me on Instagram at Shannan Christiansen. And of course the BFLY coaching business page on Facebook, you want to get in that so that you can find out all the fun information.

Because, you know, I decided I was going to do something fun over the next eight weeks before we go into our Transform Boss summer free challenge and open up the doors for five days to Transform Boss, I’m going to do eight weeks of Facebook lives and we’ll put them on the podcast too, after I do them. But if you want to be live with me, you for sure want to get on my email list because you’ll get all the notifications of when I’m going to do that. I’m going to go live for eight weeks and I’m going to take you through the basics of my process, why we’ve been on the diet roller coaster for so long and how to get off and how to start your journey to losing weight for the very last time. So you do not want to miss that.

I mean, here we are, we’re almost through the end of May and we’re going into June. You know, we’re almost halfway through the year, halfway through 2022. I always like to do a goal review, look at where I’m at with my impossible goal, and as I do that, I look at how am I doing? Am I on track? Have I gotten behind in some areas? And it’s just a really good way, a review that I do. And, you know, as I do this kind of eight weeks of Facebook lives, I’m going to help ladies do that, really look at where they’re at in their weight loss journey and how to move forward. Time just keeps moving. It’s the one thing I know for sure.

We as women, a lot of times push ourselves off and we push our own journeys off and we do all the things for all the other humans. And you know my love, this work is about learning how to show up for yourself so that honestly, at the end of the day, you show up in your life and you’re not just this robot going through it, who is disconnected and you feel more connected, not only to yourself, but to all the other humans. So very excited. Get on my email list if you’re not on it. Take my free course, or you can always follow me on social and you’ll get all the updates. And for sure come to the Facebook lives, they’re always fun. You can interact with me. You can ask me questions. They’re super fun. And if you go to facebook.com/bflycoaching, you’ll see my business page and get all the information there.

So today’s episode, I have to tell you my loves, today’s episode is kind of inspired by this little card that I got. So my husband and I, we order this certain deodorant, it’s called Native, and they send this little, I don’t know, it’s like a little card that comes with the deodorant and sunscreen that we ordered, and it says, “Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.” I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I got COVID and for two and a half years, I’ve been able to avoid it. But, you know, I guess it was inevitable because I traveled and got COVID.

I wish I was one of the ones that was asymptomatic, but that’s not how it’s been. I’ve been pretty sick. Whenever if you’ve ever been sick, I’m sure you’ve experienced this, you’re just like, oh, can I please just feel good again? Can I just feel amazing again? Because it’s so easy to take that for granted. And so it was interesting because while I was sick, I got this card in the mail from the deodorant and it just made me really think about our bodies. It’s the one thing it’s with you from the day that you’re born until the day that you leave this earth. No matter what happens, your body’s always with you.

You know, within the last month we did Unstoppable Live in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and part of it was all on the relationship that you have with yourself, the relationship that you have with your body, and this concept of self-care, this concept of how do you improve this relationship that you have with yourself? See, we think that losing weight is about the food, and that if we just ate better, if we just moved our bodies more, then everything would be great. But it is so much more than that. And if you’re listening to this, you know, you know that because you’ve tried all the things. And here you are, you’re just like, I’m still frustrated, Shannan. I’m still struggling with this. It’s because it’s the way that we think about our bodies. The way that we think about the relationship that we have with ourselves.

I think back to this time, this was probably about seven and a half years ago, I had become really sick and I had bronchitis. I had never had bronchitis before, but I got really, really sick. You know, I was working, I was commuting at the time, family, you know, all the things, right? All the things we have as women. I didn’t take time off. I just kept trying to work through it. I felt horrible. I couldn’t breathe. I actually, I had it for about six weeks. I even broke a rib because I was coughing so hard and so much. I just thought that I needed to show that even though I was sick, I was still strong. I think we’ve been taught, I mean I saw this through examples in my life, through my mother, my grandmother and other women, that if you’re a woman, be strong, you know, and be strong and you don’t have time to be sick and you don’t have time to take care of yourself.

And when I had bronchitis that’s how it was. I remember thinking, like people telling me like, oh, I can’t believe you’re still working. Like, oh, that’s, you know, just like thinking like that was a good thing. You know, at the time I was eating my way through it too, because you know, I wasn’t taking care of myself even, by fueling myself with amazing food. And this bronchitis that might’ve lasted a week or two ended up being with me for six weeks, just lingering on, because at the time I didn’t have the tools that I have now. And I believed that if I would’ve taken time for myself to rest and to heal that it meant that I was weak.

And this is so important my loves, because when we, as women, set the example that work through your sickness and do everything for all the other humans and put yourself last, we’re really setting the example for all the other humans in our lives. And believing that taking care of yourself is weakness, I think that it’s the opposite of that. When you put yourself on the list, whether that’s first or even in the top three, and you, you know, if you become sick or you need more rest or whatever it is that you take that time for yourself, you take that time to rest. You take that time to take care of yourself, it is such strength. Because it is not easy to do. Because you’ll feel guilt. You’ll feel like you’re letting people down. You’ll have all of these beliefs and thoughts that you have been programmed.

And so to actually be able to take care of yourself, to slow down, to rely on other humans, you know, I just experienced this and being ill and having to rely on other folks, having to rely on my team, having to say, you know what, I can’t do this. Like, I didn’t feel good. And I wanted to rest and telling my team at work like, Hey, I need help with this. I need help with getting this, this stuff done. And you know what’s so interesting is that, you know, allowing myself to heal, allowing myself to take the time, I’m going to shorten the time that I’m ill and I’m going to rest my body and give myself the rest and the love that it deserves.

It really inspired this episode today because we think about self-care as pedicures, massages, long walks on the beach, I’m not sure, they’re just surface things. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good massage, but self-care is so so much deeper than that. And if you’re one of my Transform Bosses, you can go to in Transform Boss 2.0  video 38 and 39, you go a little bit deeper, and we have some worksheets on it too. So they can do your own work on this.

But you know, ladies, you’re here and you’re listening to this podcast because probably what started was you wanted to release some weight off your body. And if you want to release weight off of your body, if you want to lose it for the last time, you want to live in a body, whatever that weight is for you, that feels like freedom, that feels strong, then self-care just has to be a part of it. You have to start reconnecting to your body, taking care of it. And you have to start believing different things about it.

We’ve all been on those quick fix diets. Like if we were in a room together, I’d say, raise your hand and I bet all of you would, where we have gone on the quick fix diet, we’ve lost some weight and then something happens or we can’t really white knuckle it any longer. And then we start to gain the weight, we start to put that extra weight back on our body. The reason why is because we never learned how to lose weight in a way where we cared for ourselves, where we changed the beliefs and the thoughts that we had about ourselves and about our bodies.

And so what happens is we start sabotaging. We don’t know what to do, and then gain the weight back. I did this so many times. When I say I was on the diet roller coaster for 38 years, it really was a rollercoaster of up and down, being on a diet, off a diet, doing all the things, and feeling just really frustrated and hopeless. What I had to learn was that I really had to take care of myself and that it was really important. I just want you to really hear this. It’s really important that we care for ourselves, our mental health, our physical health, our spiritual health. Like that is so important.

And yet as women, we have messaging consistently that we’re not important, that we don’t matter, that we need to put everyone else first, that we have got to save everyone else. And we’re not even in the picture. And when we do that, we become exhausted. We become physically ill. We put on this extra weight, because we’re trying to disconnect, because we don’t want to feel negative emotions.

And we haven’t been taught how to feel the emotion and not take negative action on ourselves. And so I want to tell you what I believe self-care really is. And I have three things that I want to share with you. Self-care to me is all about reconnection with your body, and your mind. Really investing time, resources, everything that you have in that reconnection.

And the first part of that is what I like to call the body basics. Your body, amazing as it is, has certain things that it needs to live, to survive. It needs sleep and water. It needs breath. It needs right? The air that we breathe. It needs to move. Your body needs to move. And so understanding that you have these certain things that your body needs, it’s not a negative thing. When I think about sleep and water, even moving my body and breath, like it’s just something that is a requirement.

When you think about moving your body, I don’t think of it as exercise. I don’t think, you know, I need to go do it for 30 minutes. I just know that if I sit too long, my body feels stiff. My body wants me to get up and to move it. Even though I’ve been ill and I’ve rested more, had more sleep, drank more water. I still have gotten up, walked around my house. And then when, as I felt better, I started to walk a little bit outside again because my body likes to move.

These are just body basics. You watch little kids. They’ll tell you everything that they need. Or you even have a baby and you see, you know, they cry when they’re thirsty. You know, when they need sleep, they sleep. They’re always moving right. As they start to learn how to move their arms and their fingers and their legs, they’re always moving. Because these body basics, it’s just part of self-care. And we’ve put all of these requirements, we’ve made it complicated. And it’s just really simple. You need to rest, you need to sleep. You need lots of fluids and water. You can get that through food and through water. You need to move your body. And it can be anything just like moving your arm right now, up and down, your body just likes to move. And breathing. We need deep, good breathing, because our body, air is essential to every piece of our being.

Two, part of self-care is developing the relationship with your mind, your body and your spirit. And this is multiple things, but it’s really this reconnection to it. I carried extra weight on my body for so long, and I was so disconnected. I had a lot of negative thoughts about it. I thought, why couldn’t it be thin? Why couldn’t it be all of these things? It had aches and pains. Part of this relationship with your body is starting to pay attention to it, starting to care for it, starting to fuel it with food that feels good into it. Paying attention to when it’s hungry, when it’s full. Talking to it. I love as I’ve been healing, I love talking to my body and thanking it, and having appreciation for it and how it’s been able to heal. You know, this virus came in and my body’s been able to heal. My body’s been able to fight it, how miraculous that is.

And so again, this relationship is just paying attention to it. We have disconnected and run from it for so long and being able to really appreciate this miraculous body that we have and fueling it with really nourishing, amazing food. Again, this isn’t to discount, you know, sometimes you want a cupcake, but also fueling it and loving, like, I love eating food that feels good in my body. Like I love eating, as I’ve been ill, my taste buds have changed a little bit. There’s certain things. I had a salad with some balsamic vinegar and I was like, well, it tasted so horrible. I couldn’t eat it. So I had, again, just pay attention. And there were still things, right. I had some vegetable soup and it tasted amazing and felt so good and fueled my body.

And so just again, paying attention to that fueling of your body, eating food that feels good in your body. You know, I dieted for so long that I had such a negative thought pattern around fuel food. And as I’ve done this process, my Transform Boss process, I’ve learned to love good food that fuels my body. And I don’t have these thoughts that I never can have a cupcake or I never can have chocolate chip cookie dough. I still can have all of it. I have all the foods, but I also make sure that I do prioritize fueling it too, because I love feeling good in my body.

Now, part of this too, is your relationship with your mind and your thoughts. And this really comes down to understanding and coming into awareness of what’s happening in that brain of yours. What are you thinking and believing and self-care, this mindset change, that is the foundation of everything that I teach is learning how to believe new things of yourself, challenging all the old thoughts and beliefs. That is such an important part of self-care. It is the relationship that you have with your mind. It’s talking to yourself more than you listen.

It is one of the quotes that I learned from a triathlon runner. I can’t remember his name, but it was such a powerful quote. Someone had asked him, how do you do it? And he just said, I talk to myself more than I listen. And this is just an important part of becoming aware of those thoughts that you have, those limiting thoughts, limiting beliefs around your capabilities, what you can do, right. I think one of the most limiting beliefs that we have is because I’ve struggled with losing weight that means I can’t lose weight. And I tell you my love, it’s just not the truth. It’s just an old limiting belief. And so part of this care for yourself is becoming aware of those old thoughts and patterns that are just circling around in your brain. And then telling yourself, talking to yourself, understanding that you get to think whatever you want to think, and you get to believe whatever you want to believe. You can challenge old thoughts and beliefs.

And number three of self-care is doing the hard work of growing and learning. I think that this is an important part of self-care because I love rest. I love taking care of myself. And part of it is growing and learning and being uncomfortable, and taking full accountability and ownership of my choices, my decisions, where I’m at. And it’s so important. And I think of this as self-care because we as humans, I believe have this purpose, all of us.

And there’s this quote by Mark Twain that I just love, and it’s one of my favorite quotes is, “Two important days in your life. The day that you’re born and the day that you find out why.” I love this because as humans, I believe we have this purpose. We have this reason why we’re here, and it’s so different for all of us. And when we find out why, going towards it. And that involves learning and growing and getting uncomfortable, challenging ourselves, and to never stop dreaming. It’s such an important part of us. My love you are so worth dreaming and having your own dreams and deciding the things that you like to do, that you like to create, that you like to curate in this world.

You are important and you matter. You, yes, as you’re listening to this, you. I’m not talking to anyone else. I am talking to you. You are worth this work of growing and learning and failing and having these amazing dreams and these impossible goals and doing whatever it is that you want to do to achieve them, to even just work towards them. My love, as we get older, we think about retirement. We think about the end. We think about those things, and there are thoughts that are going to come in, but I don’t want you to forget about the dreaming part.

 You know, when we’re little kids, we dream and we have these dreams. And then as we become adults, we stopped dreaming. And I know that for so many of you, you might be like, Shannan, I don’t know. I have no idea. I don’t know how to dream. I don’t know even what I want to do. I don’t know what my purpose is. And if you’re a Transform Boss, part of the self-care modules, we’ll walk through an exercise to help you. But if you’re not in Transform Boss, you just start by asking yourself, what do I like to do?

You know, I think that that’s the most important, first question. What is it that I even like? What is it that I even like to do? Like, do I like walking? Do I like being out in nature? Do I like doing crafts? Do I like speaking? Do I like serving others? What do I like to do? And just start with that question my love. Because when you start to dream again, and when you start to turn that back on in your brain, it’s just part of this care for yourself. Because you matter. See, self-care comes, or the opposite of self-care when we stop caring for ourselves is because we become these robots of to-do lists. And I just want more for you.

I want you to achieve whatever the dreams or the goals, and I want you not because there’s any reward at the end of the tunnel or whatever it is, right. It’s just about who you’re becoming in this process. It’s about challenging yourself and just like becoming unstoppable. The definition of self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health. I think of this as body health, mental health, and spiritual health. And it goes back to the three ways in which I believe self-care is. The body basics, developing the relationship that you have with yourself, and doing this work of growing and learning. My love, we get this one beautiful life, this one beautiful body, and this one beautiful mind. How are you going to show up for it? How are you going to take care of it?

The transformational questions are what is one action you can take towards self-care? Two, why is self-care important for you? And back to what started this whole episode – take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live. So good my love. So if you have not taken my free course, it’ll get you started in my fundamentals of losing weight for the very last time. You can go to freebosscourse.com. And join me in our eight weeks of lives with Shannan, how to get off the diet roller coaster for good. And you can do that by following me on social. So go to facebook.com/bflycoaching. All right my love, I’ll see you next week.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.