You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 142. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

So fun my love. We are in June, right? I know we’re almost halfway through the year. If you think back to the beginning of the year, what were your goals? What were your impossible goals? Yeah. Where are you at with that? I always love to check in mid-year and just see where I’m at. Not to judge, just to get curious, look at my data and then decide what do I want to do for the rest of the year? How do I want to finish the year out? My love, 2023 will be here before you know it. It will. I know time goes so fast. Yeah. I feel like as the older I get the faster it goes.

So we’re doing this eight-week series, which has been so amazing. I just finished with week four of Facebook live. So if you go to BFLYCoaching business page, you can just go on Facebook search BFLYCoaching, it’s B F L Y, and then coaching all one word, you’ll find my business page and you can like us. Then also get notified when I go live. I’ve been doing this eight-week series on how to get off the diet roller coaster, and it’s so good. Ladies are coming and it’s just been so much fun.

We’re also putting the replays here on the podcast so that you can listen to it if you miss it. And the best way to get notified of when I’m going live is to get on my email list. And you can go to freebosscourse.com to take my free course. And then you’ll be on my email list. Yeah, you won’t miss anything then. Oh, you don’t want to miss anything. And I tell you, I just got off a coaching call in Transform Boss Weight Loss. I have to tell you my loves, I usually do them on Monday nights, mostly. And it’s just my favorite night of the week. I just love it. I love coaching.

I’m telling you every time we get off one of those coaching calls where I get to coach and watch women just, oh, blow their own minds, and all my ladies, all my Transform Bosses, they’re just learning how to lose weight for the last time. And it just really is so fun. If you’re not a Transform Boss, I mean, you, for sure want to be. You do. It’s so good. Oh, I just love Transform Boss Weight Loss. And we’re opening to the public on July 12th. So you don’t want to miss out. So mark it down and get on my email list and you’ll get all the information.

So I tell you, I’m so excited too, because I’m planning a vacation. I know, you know, pre-pandemic, Paul and and I, we traveled all the time. We went to Europe, we went to, you know, all sorts of beach vacations all around the United States. I mean, we just traveled so much and you know, the pandemic came and we just really, it came to a halt and we haven’t done much of it since. We’ve done little trips to Sedona. We’ve been to California, I think once. And so I’m very excited because we are planning a vacation. We’re going to California with my grandbabies, which I cannot wait. I know, I can’t wait. I can’t wait. My son and daughter-in-law are coming too, and we’re just going to have a really fun time. And it will just be nice to get away and have some fun time with the babies. Of course, I’ll have some amazing time with Paul. It feels, you know, good to get a little back to normal. I like that for sure.

So let’s get into today’s episode. So I was just got off a coaching call. You know, I don’t know, I feel a little inspired by the coaching, and of course I’m not going to share the coaching, but there is a theme that when I do coach ladies that comes up a lot and it’s this thought that I should be doing more. I should be doing better. I’m not doing enough. Maybe it’s thoughts around like, I’m just going through the motions. I’m doing the mechanics. You know, I’m not really putting a lot of intention behind it.

And I see this happen when ladies have been doing, you know, the process for a while. And what happens is my love, we have been on this diet rollercoaster for so long. I know if you’re listening, it’s probably 10, 20, 30, 40 years, this losing weight, gaining weight, going on a diet, being off a diet, it’s just this cycle. And it really is like a hamster wheel. And it’s just, we’ve done it for so long that as you’re learning to heal your relationship with food, these sneaky little thoughts come in. Restriction and diet has kept us thinking about food. Thinking about that we can’t have food, that we can’t enjoy it, that we have to eat foods we don’t like or cut out a food group where we can only have so much of it.

And I just want to really challenge that because restriction and diets, it keeps you on the diet roller coaster. And I’m telling you my loves, I know this. I live this. I have watched my clients whenever they’re struggling. It’s because these old thoughts of restriction and diets come popping up. See restriction causes feelings of deprivation. Even if it’s just thoughts like, I can’t have that. I can’t have this. It causes these feelings of deprivation and disappointment. Like, why can’t I just be normal? Why can’t I eat it? And so when you’re feeling deprived, when you’re feeling disappointed, then you overeat. Then you start to beat yourself up.

You start to tell yourself, oh, I knew you were going to fail. I knew you were going to do this. And then you just say, forget it all. And then you just say, I don’t want to think about this anymore. And then you binge and then you overeat, and then you tell yourself, you’re going to start again. And then it’s just this cycle, again, over and over and over again. And it comes with because we were taught and this is just deep, old thoughts that are just living in our subconscious, right? No salad dressing, dry lettuce and chicken, or all fat dressing with no potatoes. Like let’s cut out all the carbs. We have so many thoughts about restriction and that the only way to lose weight is to restrict, to do it in a way which feels punishing, where you have to eat foods that you don’t enjoy.

In the short term, maybe restriction works maybe for a little bit. I mean, I had some success, but long term, I would gain it back. And so how to lose weight for the last time is starting to heal your relationship with food. And part of that is starting to think about food differently. See if you don’t start to understand when you’re physically hungry or approaching satiated or full, you will rebel and you will overeat, then you feel discouraged. Then you overeat for weeks or months before you can muster up enough willpower is what they call it. I mean, I really don’t know what willpower is, but this is what we tell ourselves. To go back on keto or 75 Hard or Weight Watchers and count the points or Noom. You go back to some calorie restricted, food group cutting, or over-exercising. And the way I know this to be true, I’ve lived this my love, is starting to allow, starting to enjoy food, eating foods that you like is how you lose weight and heal your relationship with food. So how do we even start to allow? Because you might be thinking like Shannan, that’s why I’m overweight.

I’ve been allowing everything. Allowance comes with changing your thoughts about food. It all begins with how you think about it. See, we have these thoughts that we can’t have what we want to eat. We have these thoughts, so-and-so can eat all the things and I can’t, and poor me. But I want you to hear me when I say this.

You today already eat what you want. You may restrict, you may turn food down, but it is you making the decision. I just need you to hear that, really stop and think about this. You always eat what you want to eat. You always do. And when you tell yourself I eat what I want, and I also check in with my hunger, because I want to fuel my body, I want to be healthy, I want to love my body, I want to get off the diet rollercoaster, this all starts with the way in which you think and talk to yourself about the food that you eat.

See, I love the food that I eat. I enjoy it. I mean, it can be boring sometimes, and it doesn’t always have to be an explosion in my mouth, but mostly I enjoy it. I really do enjoy the food that I eat. And I savor it. Especially if I’m going to eat non-fuel, if I’m going to eat a cupcake or cookie or whatever it is sweet, cause you know ladies, I’m a sweet girl, it is going to be delicious. Not some dry old thing that is processed. I’m not going to eat something that isn’t delicious.

The way in which you think about the food that you eat is going to determine your success. See, I visualize when I’m eating. If I’m eating non-fuel, I visualize how it will feel if I overeat. I visualize the belly ache, the low energy, I check in and ask myself, am I starting to get full? Am I starting to get satiated? If I have fuel food. So I’ll give you an example. We have this salad that we really love, and it has all kinds of good things in it. I mean, it just has all kinds of lettuces and kale and broccoli and asparagus and corn and avocado. And it has this amazing dressing. When I eat it, it just feels like fuel to me. It feels so good in my body. And as I’m eating it, I visualize how I’m caring for my body, how I’m nourishing it, and how it makes me feel. I visualize all the nutrients, repairing my body, fighting off sickness. And I think about how I will feel after.

In both examples, whether it’s non-fuel food or fuel food, I think about how I will feel after. This is key into losing weight for the last time. To start to heal your relationship with food, you have to start allowing the foods my love. And then you have to start to think about food differently. I remember I had just such negative thoughts about fuel food, about food that felt good in my body, because I was always eating foods that I didn’t like. I’ll use this example. I eat chicken, but I’m not a big chicken lover. So I just, I don’t eat it as much. I like beef. I like Turkey. I like eggs. I like tuna. Mahi-Mahi. I choose protein because protein is good for my body. I choose protein that I enjoy. Not because someone told me that I needed to eat chicken to lose weight. That is just an old thought, an old belief. And so understanding your thoughts about the food that fuels your body, I’m telling you, I used to have so many thoughts I used to believe. I had this thought to lose weight that all I could eat was chicken salad and salmon.

Chicken and salmon. I don’t really like, I really don’t like salmon actually at all. I like a good salad with good dressing, right? With like really good, fresh salad. I don’t like those old things that you buy in the containers that have been sitting in the shelf for a while. I like a really good fresh salad with fresh veggies, with a lots of different kinds. And so I just say this ladies, because if you’ve been on the diet rollercoaster, even fuel food you have negative thoughts around it. I have no doubt about it. You have these beliefs that you have to eat in a certain way.

You, you can’t have carbs. Like I love a baked potato, right? I love carbs. Carbs are good. I need carbs to think. I need carbs to have energy. Because of all the diet trauma, my loves. And again, we don’t need to like, nothing matters that happened yesterday. It doesn’t matter. It’s just today. That’s all you have. You have today. And so now you get to decide what you want to think about all the food, your fuel food, your non-fuel food.

This is how you start to heal your relationship. And I was coaching one of my ladies and she’s practicing this thought that it’s a gift to her to make a realistic plan and to really think about it and to put food on there that she enjoys, and that fuels her. And food that doesn’t fuel her, but she loves to enjoy. And I think it’s a gift also that we get to fuel our bodies and still eat a cupcake and still lose weight. Healing your relationship with food and allowing food is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself. So how do you do it?

Here are the transformational questions and actions. Number one, become aware of the thoughts that you have around fuel food versus non-fuel food and diet foods. Like really become aware of those old thoughts that you have that are keeping you eating foods that you don’t enjoy. Two, when you’re eating, enjoy it, savor it, love it. Whether it’s fuel or not. Number three, check in as you’re eating. Just ask yourself, am I starting to get full? Am I starting to feel satiated? And number four, visualize how food will feel after you eat it. If I’m eating non-fuel, I think about if I overeat it, how it will feel, how I will feel. If I’m eating fuel food, I do the same thing. I think about how I’m going to feel as I’m nourishing and taking care of my body.

Ooh, it’s so good. If you want to learn the fundamentals of how I lost weight and how my clients in Transform Boss got started, then take my free course. Go to freebosscourse.com. See you next week my love. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.