You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christensen, episode number 166. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christensen.
Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Today, I’m gonna share three things I love from Mel Robbins, her newest book actually, The High Five Habit. I love Mel Robbins and her stories. In the High Five Habit, she teaches this simple process of giving yourself a high five in the mirror and really looking at yourself and doing this every day. We did this as a book club earlier in the year in Transform Boss Weight Loss, my membership program, and the ladies loved it. So did I. I love the High Five Habit. There is some good science behind it too. And for me, I love doing it, and I love when I watch other ladies doing it. I realize I do high fives a lot. I do it with my grand babies all the time.
You know, I think about as I was growing up and in school, even at work, you know, when someone does a great job, I’m like, woo-hoo, high five. And so this thought of giving yourself a high five, ooh, I like it. So I wanna share with you just three things that I love about it, and you know, relate them back to finding some love for yourself and weight loss.
So, number one, she says this, this is her quote, “the relationship with yourself is the foundation for everything else in your life.” Ooh, I love it. You know, the relationship with yourself, I believe, is the most important relationship that you’ll have on this earth. And because everything else stems from the relationship that you have with yourself. And for many of us, we just get so busy with everyone else. We get so busy with life. We get so busy pleasing others. We get so busy trying to make folks like us. We are worried about our families and all the things we have to do that we forget about ourselves.
This thought that the relationship with yourself is the foundation, it’s the beginning of everything else. Ooh, I love it. You know, to believe in yourself and to celebrate yourself is everything. You know, I think somewhere along the way we start to believe that, you know, our needs, our dreams, ourselves, we don’t matter that much, and that celebrating ourselves is conceited or boastful. But honestly, for 99% of the women, you don’t have that problem. We have the exact opposite. We don’t celebrate ourselves. We don’t even look at ourselves in the mirror. We don’t even take two minutes for ourselves. Everything becomes about all the other people.
Or we get so lost in buffering. Buffering with, you know, these things so we don’t feel feelings, you know, buffering with social media and Netflix and overeating. And you know, when you start to show up for yourself, when you start to build that relationship with yourself, oh, ladies, it just changes so much for you. I think about this exercise we did. So every year, once a year, I do this big event in Transform Boss, and it’s called Unstoppable Live, and it’s an in-person and virtual event. And we did this mirror exercise where they had a mirror and they really had to look themselves in the mirror, and it was a small, it was just their face, and they just really, and it brought up so much emotion. Because we, we don’t even look at ourselves anymore.
When is the last time you really looked yourself in the eyes in the mirror and you had a moment of celebration, a moment of love for yourself? This simple habit of high fiving yourself and looking yourself in the mirror every day, I think it’s a good one. I love it. It seems a little quirky. She talks about that a lot in the book. I think some folks are like, Hm, but I tell you my love. Ooh, it’s good.
Number two, another quote from Mel. “If you look in the mirror and don’t see a person worth celebration, it’s time to change that.” I think for many of you, especially because we’ve dieted for so long, and bootcamps and restriction and punishment, we think if we just could beat ourselves up, if we can just tell ourselves, you’re so, you know, ugly, fat, blah, blah, blah, that you will then motivate yourself. But the exact opposite happens. You cannot beat yourself up to motivate yourself.
Ladies, just take a moment and think about how many times that you’ve created these negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself. The more that you repeat negative things about yourself, the more your brain goes to thinking that is who you are. And then you start building this evidence that you can’t do anything, that you’re not good enough, that you can’t lose weight, that you’re not pretty enough, you’re not this enough, and it just continues to keep compounding.
But when you start to look at yourself and you start to see your worth, because you’ve always been a hundred percent worthy, you’ve always been a hundred percent beautiful, and nothing about this earth like the things, the socialization, or the thing that person said to you in the third grade, none of it matters. It’s about you looking at yourself and seeing the beautiful soul and person that you are. And I just wanna say it again. You cannot beat yourself up to motivate yourself because the exact opposite happens.
Number three, another quote from Mel. “Your dreams are your responsibility. No one is coming.” Ladies, I teach this. I talk about this, because I believe in this so hard. I think we were taught, especially I grew up in the seventies, eighties, and there was a lot of, you know, chick flicks, and we watched a lot of things where the man was coming to be the hero. I think about Pretty Woman, you know, it was one of my favorite movies. And Richard Gear comes in the limo, and he has the flowers, and he’s coming to be the hero of her story. But that’s not how it works. No one is coming. You are the one that’s coming. You are the hero of your story.
Your life is your responsibility, and your dreams are your responsibility. No one else’s. It’s not the job of someone else to make you feel great. It’s not the job of someone else to love you. We put this responsibility on other people like, Ugh, they don’t love me. They don’t accept me. No. Right? Because you don’t love you. You don’t accept you, but you tell yourself that it’s them. My love, when you start to love yourself, when you start to become the hero of your story, it will matter less and less what the other folks do. Because you are the hero. You’re showing up for you. You’re doing the work. You’re the one who is coming. Mm. Ladies, just listen to that again. I know it’s my favorite. It’s my favorite.
Try it my loves. Give yourself a high five. Look at yourself right in the eyes. Then allow yourself to celebrate you just for being you, for the beautiful soul you are. Mm, so good. And if you wanna take this work deeper, then go to freebosscourse.com and take my free course. All right my love. See you next week. Bye for now.
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