Ep #197: You Never Have to Start Over Again

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T-BOSS TAKE #27: You Never Have to Start Over Again

When you think you have to do it all, you actually do nothing.

Our brains are wired to want to accomplish everything we put in front of ourselves, from mundane tasks to weight loss and when we don’t – we are left puddling.

In today’s episode of the podcast, I teach you why thinking “you have to start over again” is a sabotaging thought, how perfectionism keeps you stuck, and the magic of taking the next best action for yourself in this week’s episode of the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast.

In this episode…

≫[1:54] Losing diet brain and diet mentality takes work.

≫[2:31] Starting over is a limiting thought and belief.

≫[2:57] This thought makes you feel overwhelmed and you keep delaying your progress.

≫[4:20] I have to start at square one and do all the things perfectly.

≫[4:48] I just needed to focus on one thing. One part of the process.

≫[5:23] Focus on one piece of the process.

≫[6:04] With weight loss, we think we have to be perfect, we have to be restrictive.

≫[6:26] You don’t need to start over.

≫[6:46] Focus on one thing.

≫[6:50] I have three basics. Focus on one piece of one of the basics.

≫[7:19] I think weight loss is easy.

≫[7:32] The hard part is beginning to show up for yourself and lose the perfectionistic fantasy.

≫[8:16] Take the next best action, do one thing for yourself.

≫[8:58] To lose weight for the last time, you start to change the identity of who you are.

≫[9:16] Example on focusing on one piece of the process.

Featured on the Show:

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·   Follow me on YouTube @shannanchristiansen

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 197. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen. Hello, love. Oh, so happy to be back with you.

I hope you had a wonderful fourth. I know, I hope you did. It’s hot in Arizona. I just need to say this because you know, our weather is mostly good, but holy moly, hot, hot, hot. It is hot. I know every year. I know I should not be surprised, but it is hot. I do have a good appreciation because I do love our weather most of the year,

but this time of year it’s pretty darn hot. So I’m excited about today’s episode because you know, ladies, as I’m doing my own work, I’m writing, so about every two years I update the weight loss course, and this time I’m doing a pretty good overhaul, making it simpler, just changing some things. I’m always learning and I’m watching clients too,

and seeing kind of where they get stuck or where they have problems. And so it’s really just been an amazing process that I go through to get to this place of where I’m writing now and I’m creating the updates and the enhancements to our course. And as that I’m bringing some of this to the podcast, some of these points that I just, ah,

they’re so important. I know what keeps us on the diet rollercoaster because I’ve watched it. I was on the diet rollercoaster for a really long time, and I know most of my clients are 10 to 60 years on the diet rollercoaster. You know, losing diet brain and diet mentality, takes some work and some love for yourself is why I’m always like,

come join us in Transform Boss because it is work. I can’t ever guarantee or promise a thing. I can just show and lead the way and you need support during that. I always say if I’m left to my own brain, watch out, ladies, watch out. Oh my goodness, I love my brain, but mm, yeah, I can be crazy.

And so there’s this thought that I hear it all the time. I need to start over. I need to start at square one. I need to get back on track. And this starting over is such a limiting thought and belief. I tell you, it just then it’s like, here’s the main thought I need to start over. And then there’s like 20 other thoughts and all of them keep you from doing anything.

Things like, you know, I’m gonna do better next time. You know, I’m gonna do it perfectly. I need to start at square one. I tell you what happens with this thought is that it makes you feel overwhelmed and then you do nothing. You just keep delaying your progress. How many times have you told yourself, like there were some diet,

something that you’ve done in the past where you had some success and you just keep puddling, but oh, I could just get back on track. If I could just do that again. If I could just be good again, if I could just Right. And I tell you ladies, it just delays your progress. I think about this, and I teach about this so much because this is such a strong belief and this belief,

it keeps us delaying. If you think about anything, anything in our lives. So I had this closet and I just kind of kept putting stuff in it and it got a bit out of control. You know, ladies like where you’re just like, ugh. And I kept thinking to myself, Ugh, I need to clean it out. Well then,

ugh, you know, if I do this closet, then I need to do the other closet. Well then maybe I should just go through the whole garage, right? Oh, I need to do a whole reorganization, right? And then I watch a show on organization, I’m like, oh my gosh, I need to buy all those containers. Oh,

wouldn’t that be so cute, right? This is, I’m just giving you an example of what my brain does, all of that. Buying, shopping, doing my whole house feels overwhelming. So guess what? I do? Nothing. Because it goes to this whole thing of I have to start at square one, do all the things perfectly. And this is what I decided.

I was like, oh, you know what? I’m gonna do one closet a quarter to reorganize refresh, and it just took the pressure off. I didn’t need to do all of it. My closets are pretty okay. I mean, they’re okay. This one closet had gotten a little bit out of control, but I didn’t need to start over. I didn’t need to like redo my whole house.

I didn’t need to. I just needed to focus on one thing, one part of the process. And so one day I just took everything out of the closet and it just sat on the floor and I was like, okay. So I did this one weekend and then the next weekend I was like, okay. And then, you know, I’ll go through the stuff that’s on the floor and then I’ll put the stuff that I don’t want or good will or whatever.

And I did this, I’m not even kidding, this closet, it took me just two weekends. It was so easy. I was like, oh my gosh, this is so easy. And then my brain, I know my brain, my brain’s like, oh. And I was like, Nope. One closet a quarter, chill out. This is when I say to my ladies like,

focus on one piece of the process. Just know that your brain, when you start to feel successful, your brain’s gonna wanna go to another part. So just take a deep breath. I was like, no one closet per quarter. And I tell you ladies, it just helped me like relax because now I have no doubt that I’m gonna go through all of the closets and refresh and get rid of some stuff.

But the pressure, like over the next year, I’ll get through all my main closets. And I don’t know, I’m not in a rush because being in a rush, it would’ve been two or three years, it would’ve just been right. This is what happens with weight loss. You keep thinking you have to be perfect, you have to be restrictive.

I only can eat healthy food. I don’t know what healthy, healthy is. You know in the eye of the beholder, right? I need to do these things. And then you don’t do any of them. Or you do it like a little bit and then you start to feel frustrated cuz you want results faster, and then you just quit on yourself and you do this over and over again.

You don’t need to start over. You don’t need to start at square one. You don’t need to do everything because that keeps you doing nothing. I know I’m gonna say this to you so many times, you’re gonna be like, Shannan, but our brains need to hear this. Our brains need to hear this over and over again. Focus on one thing,

one part of the process. I have three basics focus on one piece of one of the basics. Just like I focused on one closet in my house and then I celebrated it. Oh my gosh, I love to go to that closet. Ugh, it looks beautiful. It’s so organized and I loved it. I just like to open it and I have another closet that I’m gonna do.

I know next quarter. I know. It just relieves so much pressure from me. I’m just like, oh, okay. I’m like, oh my gosh, this is gonna be easy. Ladies, ask me when I say, I think weight loss is easy, I do, the process is pretty darn easy actually. You actually get to start to enjoy food again.

You actually get to relieve a lot of the mind drama. But this is the hard part. It’s this beginning of starting to show up for yourself and to lose the perfectionistic fantasy of doing it perfectly and being restrictive and eating only chicken and salad. It’s losing those beliefs and those old thoughts so that you can just focus on one piece and then celebrate the success and the wins that you have.

I know, ladies, it really is everything I know, but our brains are like, no, I want it all today. I need to do it all today. Look, if I just start back, I see this with my clients, they’re like, I’m just gonna start back. I need to get motivated. I need to get inspired. I’m like,

oh, do you? I don’t know. I mean, motivation, inspiration is good, but actually today, if you justtook the next best action, did one thing for yourself, you just never need to start over. You just take the next best action for your yourself. It sounds so simple. I know it’s not. I know it’s starting to unravel those old beliefs and starting to believe something different and it takes time and support and some love for yourself.

So my take, you never need to start over. You just take one action, the next best action for yourself. And two, you focus on it. You just like, this is the part of the process. And then you build that muscle of like, oh yeah, I show up for myself. Oh yeah, I keep commitments to myself.

Oh right, this is who I am now. Remember to lose weight for the last time. You’re starting to change the identity of who you are. That just takes time, it takes love, and it takes support. Three, just get really good at that one piece of the process. So whatever it is, like you’re gonna practice it. So let’s say for example,

it is asking yourself, if you’re physically hungry, you’re gonna start out, you’re gonna do it a couple times. You’re gonna set minimum baselines is what I like to call it. But you’re just gonna say, okay, this week I’m gonna do this two to three times this week at one meal, I’m gonna ask, am I physically hungry? And then I’m gonna just check in with myself throughout and after so that I can see when I start to approach satisfied.

So then I’m gonna keep doing this over the next, I don’t know, month, two months until I start to feel like, oh, I’m having a lot of wins. This feels easy. I feel like, oh yeah, I know now more when I’m physically hungry, I’m starting to feel those signals again. Mm, right? And then lastly,

fourth, celebrate it. Celebrate all your wins. When you’re so focused in on one piece of the process, it’s so easy. It’s so easy to celebrate your wins. And then you’re like, oh my gosh. Like you start to have thoughts like, this is working, this is easy. I know my love. This is how you lose weight for the long term.

You can keep on the diet rollercoaster. You can keep starting over. You can keep looking for all the new diets and all the new pills and potions and all the things. I just want to offer you a different way because I know that there is. So next week we’re gonna talk about stress life being bothered. I know it’s gonna be good. You know,

ladies, I always read books and I try to bring what I learned from them here. So, ooh, it’s good. Now, if you want to take this work deeper, check out Transform Boss. It’s my monthly membership where you’re gonna learn how to lose weight for the last time and get off the diet roller coaster. And you can go to jointransformboss.com if we’re not open.

Well, you’re listening to this. You can take my free course. I know. So fun. All right, bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s bflycoaching.com. See you next week.


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