Ep #201: Why Do You Want To Stop Resisting?

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T-BOSS TAKE #31: Resistance

In today’s episode, you will discover how resistance comes in many different forms.

Resistance keeps you pushing back and not moving forward.

It keeps you in the same place, but expecting different results.

I talk with Coach Jenn and Coach Sharon about how resistance has shown up in their lives and the lives of their clients.

They share tips on how to move out of resistance and into action by taking the next step.

In this episode…

≫[1:40] We don’t believe we deserve success.

≫[1:59] We keep doing the same things, expecting different results.

≫[6:49] We go to things that are comfortable, that we know, because we have always done it that way.

≫[8:39] I realized that by allowing others to show up as themselves and love the for who they are and how they show up allowed me to love myself and release resistance.

≫[9:30] Because of resistance, you didn’t want to do something different. You didn’t want to think differently.

≫[9:53] You had to think something different, feel something different, and do something different.

≫[11:40] You resist taking that chance and moving forward.

≫[13:33] Life is not perfect and your brain is going to resist things.

≫[14:14] Stopping and taking a deep breath allows me to refocus on what’s going on right now.

≫[16:18] We have take a pause because we are in automatic mode. Ask yourself why do you want this. Remind yourself of why you are showing up.

≫[16:51] The next best action allows us to start to feel success. Then we continue to show up and overcome when we have failures.

≫[18:23] I want to care for me so that I can care for all the other humans.

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You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 201. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen. Ladies 201. We have been just having such a great time.

We are doing some special episodes where we’re talking to the coaches and they’re sharing their beautiful journeys and some client tips and things that they’ve struggled with and things that they’ve overcome. And if you’ve missed the last two episodes, you don’t want, you know, go back and listen to them. They’re so good. Today we’re gonna really talk about resistance. I know.

Oh, resistance. And I think it comes in many different forms. And how it shows up is when you have this thought and you’re feeling excited and you’re like, I’m learning this work and I’m feeling so good. And then suddenly you have a whole weekend of eating all the things and you start feeling like, I can’t do this. Your brain is like,

this is too much. Told you, I told you you were gonna do this. So then diet culture, you start, you know, researching keto or the new weight loss drugs, all the things out there because you’re like, I gotta have something different. And it comes from this place where there’s a belief I believe, that is lacking in all of us as humans.

That ultimately we don’t deserve success. We won’t have success, we’re not capable of success. And it really shows up in the form, I believe, of resistance to change, resistance to doing something different, trying something different. So we keep going back over and over to the same things, expecting a different result. I know it’s gonna be a good one,

ladies, so I know they, I feel like they all are. I do. I do. All right. So Coach Sharon is with us and coach Sharon. Give us a little bit about yourself to all the wonderful listeners. Hi, I’m coach Sharon and I discovered Shannan in actually August of 2019 through Facebook. And I started listening to her Facebook Lives.

And I had been on the diet rollercoaster for 40 years. I had tried everything. The only thing I didn’t do was the weight loss surgery. And I had just given up on myself. I was just like, no more. And I started listening and I was like, Hmm, this is something different. And then Shannan started with her pay program in October.

It was called Jumpstart then. I’m like, Sharon Was the first one, I have to say. She was the first one that signed up for Jumpstart. I joined, and I have never looked back. I had lost my self-confidence. I had lost my smile. I didn’t think I was worthy of anything. Started out I, with the program, I then I worked through and I became a mentor.

Now I’m a coach. I flew to Arizona twice, Twice. And I’m living the dream. I’m just enjoying life. I have lost 126 pounds, have maintained it for, it’ll be three years in October. I’m just ecstatic. I just love this work. I just, I, I just can’t say anymore. I know. We love you Sharon.

I know. I love Sharon. I love all these ladies. I tell you, because it’s such a blessing. I mean, ladies, I get to do this. I know how lucky am I, I get to be around all these gorgeous women who are like changing their lives and I get to just be like the person who gets to watch it and be a part of it and ooh,

it’s so good. It’s the best thing about being a coach for sure. So Coach Jenn, you are regular on the podcast, but just in case they’ve missed you, tell everybody a little bit about you. My name is Jenn Taylor, coach Jenn. I’ve been with Transform for about three and a half years now. And I’m a mom of two boys,

a wife. You know, they all keep me busy and going and all the things. And you know, I just believe one of the thoughts that I’ve learned from Shannan is that all things are for me, and the timing of coming into this program with Shannan and these ladies just couldn’t have been better for me. I was just going through some pretty serious stuff relationship-wise,

and this work, you know, Shannan, I’ll get into it as we talk about resistance today. But I felt like I had, I’d gotten to a place where I’d lost my weight, found myself was feeling good, had this stuff happen in my life. And I just felt like I had kind of lost myself. I had fallen into victim mode.

I just didn’t see a way out. I didn’t see kind of a, a light at the end of the tunnel to get back to me. And this work and these amazing women and all the women you don’t see on the podcast, just really have provided a space and a community and work for me to get to do myself. To be able to now be to a place where just my relationships have completely changed.

Hmm. I mean, Jenn, it is crazy. Through this work, I knew that I wanted to do something different because I’ll never forget in my whole life, I had, I was in Utah, Jenn, and I was standing in the Weight Watchers parking lot and I just said, I can’t do this anymore. I just, I can’t do it anymore.

I’m smart, Shannan, you gotta figure this out. And, you know, it led me through this journey. I mean, it took me a few years to learn all this work, start to implement it. I had lost my mother in the process. And I tell you, it has changes so much in the way that I react in this world,

really. And how I think and how I can, you know, have something really negative happen, pull the covers over my head, and then I’m like, all right, let’s go, let’s, you know, like, let’s go get coached, let’s go get support. And a lot of it is from me, right? Doing my own work and deciding to believe something different.

Today is all about resistance to doing something different. We go to things that are comfortable that we know, because we’ve always done it that way. When ladies first come into Transform or when they’re in challenges, they’re like, Shannan, please tell me what to eat, Sharon. I need to know what you’re eating. Jenn, tell me. I need to know how much do you exercise?

How much do you, you know, all the things. Because that is what we’ve always done. We’ve always gone to the food as the culprit. Coach Jenn. When you think about this changing to try something different, starting to learn to do something different, what would you, or what have you seen or experienced or what advice would you give the ladies For myself with my experience in this?

You know, I think the, the biggest impact I’ve had that has been life changing is my relationships. Hmm. And Shannan knows this. She’s coached me many a time. And through my relationship struggles, I always was like, but I want this person to own up to their actions. I want them to have to have a consequence. Why? You know,

always needing justice, always needing them to show up a certain way. And through this work I have just learned, those are just my expectations of others that have left me feeling let down. Because people aren’t gonna show up how I want them to. Unfortunately. I mean sometimes, but I have these like ideal expectations and all that I was doing was setting myself up to be let down.

Hmm. And Shannan once asked me like, would I want somebody to have expectations of me? And I was like, absolutely not. Let me be myself. Let me show up. And that really opened my eyes, you know, through this work, realized that by allowing others to just show up as themselves and love them for who they are and how they show up,

it really opened this door to start, like allowing me to love myself. ’cause I didn’t realize that I was relying on others so much for that releasing the resistance of like, no, it has to be this way in relationships and all of the things and my thoughts around it. And just trying something new, even though I was scared out of my mind to let go of that control.

Yeah. That I never had. Yeah. It’s so interesting. ’cause I know I’ve coached you on this, and I remember actually one of your very first coaching sessions, and I went in a little hard. Oh yeah. I was not happy with Shannan. She wasn’t, I knew she wasn’t. I knew she wasn’t. It was okay. I knew she wasn’t.

But because of the resistance, you didn’t wanna do something different. You didn’t wanna think differently. You wanted to believe what you wanted to believe about the situation. And there was no room for anything else. But when you keep doing the same thing you’ve always done, you keep getting the same result. And you wanted something different in your relationship. And so to get something different in your relationship,

you had to think something different, feel something different, and do something different. And I love that you use this example ladies, because this is the thing. They’re like, Shannan, this is a weight loss podcast. Why are we talking about relationships? Because ladies, we’re whole humans, we have relationships and they cause us stress and grief, you know, they don’t,

Hmm. Our thoughts about them do. But we have drama and stress and fear and we wanna control it. And so then when we can’t, the one thing we can control is whether or not I eat that cupcake. So if I am feeling stressed, I’m feeling overwhelmed, I’m mad at my partner or my spouse, where’s that cupcake? Because I can control that.

And so this work is all, it’s like, I’m like a mad scientist, right? All of these coaches are too. You just kind of put it all together and then you’re just like, oh yes. Oh my goodness. That’s it. Right? Because it’s all intertwined, it’s all connected. The relationships with yourself, with the other humans, all of it has a relationship to yourself.

Ooh, it’s good coach Sharon, resistance. Ooh, resistance. What do you think? No resistance. Because I’ve been on the diet rollercoaster for so many years and failed so many times. And you say, well this time’s gonna be different. So you’re starting out very well and you’re, everything’s going along. And then life happens. You have whether a traumatic experience or you know,

you eat off plan, you overeat and you automatically go back, oh, here we go again. And you just keep pushing back on it. You say, well, you resist taking that chance and just moving forward. I know for me that I had some changes. I moved and you know, it’s like I had crunch time. I had gone to Arizona,

then I had to move, and now it’s like I’m having a health insurance issue. So I was eating a little bit too much. I was pushing down those feelings and resisting feeling all that. Mm. And now what I’ve done is I say, Hey, I use these experiences instead of resisting it and pushing on it. Feel those feelings and go back to the basics.

Yeah. And say, Hey, what has worked? Yeah. Because you have to love yourself enough to keep pushing forward and stop pushing back on it. Yeah, we do. Ladies, look, I am sure that every one of you that are listening or watching right now, you are strong minded. When you get your mindset on something, you’re like,

maybe my husband might say I can be stubborn. I’m not gonna say that’s true, but maybe it’s true. And so what happens is we get so excited about something, we’re like, oh my gosh, I’m just gonna get back on it. I’m just gonna do it again. I’m gonna, you know, and then something happens because this is life and something happens.

And then we don’t have these, I like to call ’em guardrails in place. We don’t have the support. You know, when Sharon talked about, she’s been in a lot of transition and she is like, okay, this is what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna feel some feelings. I’m gonna like make my realistic plan. I know Sharon enough to know exactly what she’s gonna do.

I’m gonna like do a thought dump. I’m gonna get some coaching. This is what I’m gonna do. Because she knows that life is not perfect. And that her brain is gonna resist things. Her brain is gonna have lots, you know, produce lots of feelings of fear and all the things, especially with transition, right? Especially with big major life events.

But you have these guardrails. So Sharon, if you could tell the ladies you’ve had a lot of transition, you’ve gotten back to your basics. And that’s so interesting, ladies, I give you my basics. But they end up becoming your basics. ’cause you’re gonna find things that you love that are just like, okay, this just grounds me. This feels good.

What is one thing, Sharon, that just brings you back, Breathing, stopping and taking a deep breath that allows me to refocus on what’s going on right now. And it stops those thoughts from floating around and keep, you know, going over and over and over again. And I can say, okay, take a deep breath. What’s the next step?

Hmm. And then I, I move on from there. Yeah. We underestimate breathing. You wanna know why? Because it’s automatic. Ladies, everything that I want to teach you, what these ladies wanna teach you, what all the coaches wanna teach you is how to get out of your automatic brain more. We wanna be comfortable, right? We want to,

you know, avoid pain and seek pleasure. This is how we’re wired. And so because we want that, because we want to do that, then you know, we’re just constantly like in this loop of it. And so we have to get outta that. And breathing is automatic. We don’t have to think about it most times. And so when we can stop,

breathe, it’s amazing what it does to your nervous system. I’m doing a lot of research right now because this fall I’m reenchancing our weight loss course and our other courses. And so I’m doing a lot of research right now as I’m writing updated version of it. And I’ve been really studying the central nervous system. And breathing is ladies, we don’t breathe.

We underestimate it because it is just part of what we do. So I love that you gave that tip. It’s so good. Coach, Jenn, so you’ve coached a lot of clients, a lot of clients. Jenn is the director of coaching for Transform Boss, she trains coaches, she also has coached a lot. What do you think is something that you have helped ladies with in just taking the next step?

I think that one of the key things that’s helpful is pausing always, right? We’ve gotta take a pause because we are in that automatic mode. Go, go, go. Pausing. And then I think asking either like, why do I want to do this? Reminding ourselves of like, why am I showing up for this, right? What commitment have I made to myself?

And then just truly, what is the next best action? So often we think that we have to have it all figured out, or we have to have the game plan written out. It’s not that ladies, it is just the next best action. And then after that, the next best action because we begin to feel successful and have success. And then it gets us back on that mode of continuing to show up and overcoming when we have failures.

Yes, ladies, I wish I could just like zap all of our, I mean, I don’t, I don’t wish it, but I wish it was easier in our brains. I do. I wish, you know, we didn’t live in automatic brain as much, but I guess if we did, you know, maybe we would put too much on our bodies and I don’t know,

maybe we’d have other problems. So I know that this like what? Breathe pause. You know, oh my goodness, it sounds so simple. I tell you this ladies, because as you do this work, we’re gonna, next week, I’m so excited. And we’re gonna talk about maintenance and what maintenance means. And some of the coaches who’ve been in maintenance,

they’re gonna share their tips on being in maintenance and living in maintenance. Because I think, again, we think once we lose the weight, we’re not gonna have any more problems. But that’s not how it works. And so having these tools and learning how to take the next best action. Myself, I’ve been in a lot of transition lately. I’ve had so many things go on,

you know, so many things really, like where I’ve had to do serious, deep breathing, serious guardrail, I have, I like to call ’em guardrails, my coaching, my thought work, you know, all the things so that I can take care of myself, because ultimately that’s what I want. I want to care for me so that I can put on my oxygen mask so that I can care for all the other humans.

Because I love these ladies. I love this business. I love our clients. I love my family, I love my other gig and all of those humans and my friends. And I want to be here as my bestest self and the, and the only way that I can do that is by caring for myself. And the only way that I can do that is taking a pause,

taking a breath, and then deciding what is my next best action. One baby tiptoe step. Ooh, so good, ladies. So ladies, if you love this work and you want to take it deeper, go to jointransformboss.com. You can learn all about it. We only open probably two or three times a year, so make sure you get on our email list.

You can do that by taking the free course so that you can come join us when we open again. So good. I love you ladies, and thank you for coming on the podcast, coach Sharon and coach Jenn. Beautiful. I love you ladies, and I’ll see you next week and next week’s gonna be awesome too. Bye. My loves. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women.

If you love what you heard today and wanna learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

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