Month: June 2019

Yesterday my 2 older g-babies came over to swim. We had the best time; they are seriously the cutest. I had bought some chocolate chip cookies for them. They ate lunch and I put out the cookies. Neither of my g-babies wanted them. They were full from lunch.

I love watching them, I learn so much from them. They were not obsessing on whether they wanted the cookies or “should” have them. They ate lunch, they were full, and they never thought about it again. The cookies sat on the counter, they literally never even thought about them.

And neither did I. That is crazy to think as I write this. I used to obsess about cookies. I thought I loved them. I thought they brought me comfort. This is the power of truly doing the work to change your thoughts. It takes time, it can be hard, but it is everything. I do hard things. I always have.

And so, have you. You have done lots of hard things. You have showed up, been uncomfortable and done things you never thought you could do.

I know that we tell ourselves, but this is the ONE THING, I have not been able to overcome. I am here to tell you it is possible. It was my ONE THING for 38 years.

Watch my latest Facebook Live to learn how to desire food less and to get a Free worksheet on over-desire.

BFLYCOACHING.com/overdesire-worksheet

Facebook Live – https://business.facebook.com/bflycoaching/videos/2317550721696154/?business_id=607201126449171&modal=admin_todo_tour

I used to be a perfectionist. I wanted everything to be perfect. I realized it was all a lie. That nothing was perfect in that sense and that B work was great. When I coach clients, I can tell often when they are going to be successful, they know that they will not be perfect. They know that they will have failures.
They embrace the failures, learn from them.

We are so scared of failure. We put all this bad energy into it but honestly nothing in my life has been a straight line, it has been a lot of ups and downs with lots of jagged edges. I have failed more than I have succeeded and been told no, more than yes.

The key to moving forward is consistency. Just continuing to show up and taking the next best action. I was a failure at losing weight until I lost weight. I was a failure at being an executive until I got the position of executive. You are failing until you are succeeding. You are LEARNING until you are succeeding.

I love the analogy of a baby walking. They fall down hundreds and hundreds of times, but they keep getting up, they keep taking the next best action. What if the baby was like, “well I fell down too many times, I am just going to keep crawling”, oh what we can learn from babies.

Love, when you tell yourself that it is going to be perfect, know that it is a lie. The ONLY TRUTH IS, that if you keep showing up, and taking the next best action, you will become your future self, what ever you decide that to be.

BFLYCoaching.com/free-course

I used to feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I would have thoughts around hating my body. I would walk in a room of people and wonder if they were thinking, “boy, she has gained some weight”. I would tug at my clothes and feel like I weighed a couple hundred more pounds than I did. I did not see what I really looked like. When I looked in the mirror, I had feelings of disappointment, failure, and disgust. I would beat myself up around being a failure for being overweight.

I would never talk to anyone the way that I used to talk to myself. I asked myself this question, “Would I be my best friend”, and at that time I would not have been. The way that I talked to myself, the way I broke commitments to myself, and the daily beatings of not being enough or doing enough was not a best friend I wanted.

But I am my best friend. I am the most important person in my life. I am my bestie. Why did I think it was ok to talk to myself like that or continually break commitments to myself? 
Sit with this question, would you be your best friend and if not, why not?

No one, I mean no one ever beat themselves thin. Learning to become your bestie is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself. Learning to be kind to yourself. Learning to talk to yourself with Love. Learning to keep commitments to yourself. I understand that we have been taught to put everyone else first, but it is wrong, it is a lie. You cannot fully take care of others when you don’t take care of yourself.

How do you talk to yourself? Do you keep commitments to yourself? Would you be your best friend?

Friday is the last day to schedule your 30-minute session with me, if you want to work with me 1:1 this is the last chance for a good while.

4.5 years ago, I had a session with my mentor Brooke, it was amazing, but I did not join her program. I waited another 2 years. I think about the progress I could have made if I would have said yes, said yes to me. But I was still putting everything else before me. I know how hard it is to make an investment in yourself. I have grown more, hit more goals, and done things I would have never done in the past 2 years. I have 2 coaches and they help me in ways I could not do for myself.

I believe in coaching and the power it has to change lives. I am proof.

BFLYCoaching.com/free-course

Next Facebook Live on Monday.

Over-desire is something I have struggled with. Have you ever wanted a warm chocolate chip cookie so bad that it is all you can think about? Or a big warm cinnamon roll?

I used to obsess about food, and I have learned that it was just over-desire. There are things in my past that I used to desire and now I don’t. I have urges, which are thoughts that create the feeling of desire.

I have learned to allow an urge and not act on it. It is crazy, from a former “sugar addict” to I have cookies right now in my pantry and have no desire for them. No for real, I do not want them.

Join me in my next Facebook Live on Monday at 6:30pm PST.
I have also included a link to get a free worksheet so you can work along during the episode or after.

Bflycoaching.com/overdesire-worksheet

I remember the first time I had learned the concept that someone’s capacity to love me or to receive love from me has nothing to do with me. It blew my mind. I spent most of my twenties believing I was unlovable. I did not love me and believed that I was not worthy of being loved.

Every person has different levels of “capacity” to give or receive love. It is based on their own experiences and beliefs. If you had a parent who never told you they loved you, it has nothing to do with you. It is their “capacity” to give love. It is based on their own experience in this world.

You are 100% Loveable and Worthy. It is not based on someone else’s capacity to love you. I heard this once and loved it, “You can be the juiciest most delicious peach, but if someone does not like peaches then they just don’t like peaches, it has nothing to do with you”.

We spend a lot of energy and time worrying about someone’s ability to love us or like us.

But Love, you are already 100% loveable. I promise. 100%.

Join my private Facebook Group, Weight loss for Successful Women. I love the support in that group, it is amazing! 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/WLFSW/

and seriously, is he not the cutest? And he is 100% loveable and worthy, right? 
When does that change for us?

I remember telling myself that I needed to be perfect. Perfect at work, perfect at losing weight, perfect on my exercise plan, and I could go on and on. I wanted to be perfect. If I sent an email at work and it had a spelling error, I would be so upset. I would beat myself up for making errors and not being perfect.

But perfectionism is just a lie. It is a way for us to not take action, for us to procrastinate, for us to beat ourselves up. Perfect only exists in your mind, what I think is perfect and what you think is perfect is 2 different things.

When we think we must be perfect at something, we will put it off, we will shy away from it. When I thought I had to be perfect to volunteer to speak at a big event at work, I would avoid it because I did not want to fail. When I thought I needed to be perfect at losing weight, I would put it off. I would start again next week, then I would binge awaiting when it would be “perfect” to start. If I had a vacation or a holiday was coming up, I needed to wait, it was not the “perfect” time. I was single for 7 years because I was waiting to be “perfect” before I could date.

I put so many things off because I was waiting to be perfect. Perfect is a lie. It is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves so we can avoid feeling a feeling, the feelings of being uncomfortable, deprived or scared.

What are you telling yourself you must be “perfect” at? How much time do you waste trying to make something “perfect”? What have you not taken action on because you are waiting for the perfect time? When you have the thought “I need to be perfect at x or this needs to be perfect”, look to see what feeling you are trying to avoid. Then take the next best action.

Nothing and Everything is Perfect.

I opened 2 more spots for my 8-week coaching program. I am closing enrollment on 06/28.

My 8-week coaching program is transformational. It consists of 5 1:1 coaching sessions with me, weekly video teaching and workbooks, 1:1 support from me, a box of goodies delivered to your home, and 2 bonuses: a training and workbook on leading your time and a 1 day in-person workshop with me with a cool dinner the night before.

Sign up for free 30 min session with me. Click below. A conversation where you can ask me any questions on losing weight or on my program.

Click here to schedule your 30 min session with Shannan!

I have carried extra weight on my body for most of my life. It became a part of who I was. I thought it was security. I thought it was safe. I had thoughts that it made me more approachable. I would self-deprecate and use humor to connect with others. I would connect with other women over diets and the failure of diets and exercise plans. I would make sure I had everyone else taken care of. I was a people pleaser. I had created a whole persona on being the “fat” girl with the pretty face.

When I started this journey of never dieting again and figure the “weight” thing out, I had to look at the thoughts that were driving who I thought I was. Were they even true?
I had to decide that I was going to change my mind and thoughts around who I was. I wasn’t the girl who commiserated over failed diets and who would binge with a friend. I was not going to self-deprecate any more. I was not going to use humor to hide my pain. I was going to be the person who ordered a salad when everyone else was ordering pasta. I was going to say “no” to the free doughnut at work because doughnuts do not feel good in my body. I was going to make decisions for me, I was going to put myself first. I was going to ensure that I was taken care of. This was a serious “mind change”.

To lose weight, stop diet mentality, and begin to love my body, I had to lose the old thoughts and the old persona I had created. I had to challenge old beliefs. I had this printed on the journals I send to my clients who are in my program. Because you don’t need a “lifestyle change” you have to make a “mind change”.

We say we want to change.

We don’t because we are afraid of losing our old self.

But you can’t have one without the other.

You have to feel the loss of the old you to become the future you.

Love, click below to get 3 tools to start to make a “mind” change. There is a workbook to start you out and a video. Then sign up for 30 minutes with me. In the 30 minutes I will take you through the “before” and “after” process, give you all the details on my program, and leave you with some tools so you can begin the “mind change”.

My 8-week program is so good. I wish I had it 20 years ago. I just added 2 spots because I just love helping women so much, I love seeing the transformation. I also added a 1-day workshop in October in a cool location with me.

bflycoaching.com/free-course

I have carried extra weight on my body for most of my life. It became a part of who I was. I thought it was security. I thought it was safe. I had thoughts that it made me more approachable. I would self-deprecate and use humor to connect with others. I would connect with other women over diets and the failure of diets and exercise plans. I would make sure I had everyone else taken care of. I was a people pleaser. I had created a whole persona on being the “fat” girl with the pretty face.

When I started this journey of never dieting again and figure the “weight” thing out, I had to look at the thoughts that were driving who I thought I was. Were they even true?
I had to decide that I was going to change my mind and thoughts around who I was. I wasn’t the girl who commiserated over failed diets and who would binge with a friend. I was not going to self-deprecate any more. I was not going to use humor to hide my pain. I was going to be the person who ordered a salad when everyone else was ordering pasta. I was going to say “no” to the free doughnut at work because doughnuts do not feel good in my body. I was going to make decisions for me, I was going to put myself first. I was going to ensure that I was taken care of. This was a serious “mind change”.

To lose weight, stop diet mentality, and begin to love my body, I had to lose the old thoughts and the old persona I had created. I had to challenge old beliefs. I had this printed on the journals I send to my clients who are in my program. Because you don’t need a “lifestyle change” you have to make a “mind change”.

We say we want to change.

We don’t because we are afraid of losing our old self.

But you can’t have one without the other.

You have to feel the loss of the old you to become the future you.

Love, click below to get 3 tools to start to make a “mind” change. There is a workbook to start you out and a video. Then sign up for 30 minutes with me. In the 30 minutes I will take you through the “before” and “after” process, give you all the details on my program, and leave you with some tools so you can begin the “mind change”.

My 8-week program is so good. I wish I had it 20 years ago. I just added 2 spots because I just love helping women so much, I love seeing the transformation. I also added a 1-day workshop in October in a cool location with me.

bflycoaching.com/free-course

I was listening to this podcast yesterday and Sheri Salata was a guest speaker. She was Oprah’s executive producer for 20 years. She talked about how she had received a “beautiful no” and how it led to her working on the Oprah show. Basically, she was up for this glamourous ad job but got a letter stating they were not going to hire her. Then a couple of days later she received an offer to “freelance” at the Oprah show. If she would have received the ad job, she would not have said “yes” to the Oprah show…

It reminded me of how a couple of years ago, I had applied for this job that was going to take me back to Phoenix. At the time, I was commuting back in forth between Utah and Phoenix, oh and living in a hotel when I was in Utah. I wanted to go back home so bad. I received a “no”. At the time, I was devastated, I mean “devastated” even seems too light of a word. I got the call at 4:45pm that I did not get the job. I hurried out and barely made it to my car and burst into tears. I cried the entire night. Paul would call me to check on me, but I could barely speak. I was in a hotel room by myself, feeling like the world had ended.

But it turned out to be the most “beautiful no”. I moved departments and got to work with some amazing people, one who will be a lifelong friend. I learned a new area, which was the first time in my 24 years at the company. So, when the job offer came to move companies, I knew that I could learn something new, that I could do anything. It led me to my current day job working for an amazing leader, which I love. Getting that “no” taught me a lot, it built something in me. It showed me that everything is always for me. It has helped me believe that I can do anything, even starting my own coaching business.

I have grown more in the last 2 years than the 10 years before that. I have been able to re-write the story of all my “beautiful no’s”. I have received a ton of them over the years and they have ALWAYS led to something greater.

What have been your “beautiful no’s”? What did you learn and how are you better because of them?

My 8-week program is starting soon…. Schedule a free 30-minute session with me today!

https://bflycoaching.com/free-course/

So this happened today, I met with a podcast producer to start my own podcast, what a dream. I know many of you have known me for awhile and know what a dream this has been for me. Thank you for all of your Love and support! 💕💕

Click to join my email list where you will get updates before anyone else on all the fun stuff that is happening, you will also get a free video course and workbook with 3 tools you must know about to lose weight!

Bflycoaching.com/free-course

A beautiful friend sent me this pic today. I don’t remember when the moment was when I decided that I wanted more, that I could do more, that I was good enough. I can think back to times where I did not think any of those things.

But somewhere along this journey, I chose me. I chose to feel emotions, to be uncomfortable, to “do it” anyways. I did this by just being me, not anyone else. I have become friends with my lizard brain, just this morning, I told it, “we got this, thank you for always trying to keep me safe”.

Love, what life do you want? Have you stopped to think about it. We get one and it goes by really fast. We get one body, how much love and attention have you given it? Have you told it how much you love and appreciate it. Have you invested in you? Aren’t you tired of not having your own back and living in a body that feels heavy.

I have learned so many tools. I share 3 of them in my free mini course on BFLYCoaching.com.

My new 8 week program is starting in the middle of June. Every week you will get a teaching on a new tool and a workbook to accompany the teaching. You will also get 5 1:1 coaching sessions with me where we will go deeper into each tool.

In 8 weeks, it can change your life, help you to desire food less, hack your lizard brain, begin to feel good about your body and help you stop obsessing about the scale, food, and how you can’t overcome this struggle.

The first step to joining the 8 week program, is going to BFLYCoaching.com and taking the mini course.

The second step is signing up for a free 30 minute strategy session with me, how fun is that? 30 minutes, you and me!💕

Love, we are all mermaids 💕💕💕