Ep #19: Stop Journaling and Start Reflecting

One thing we always hear in the self-help sphere is how useful journaling can be. However, if you’re anything like me, keeping a traditional journal every day on a consistent basis can be pretty tricky. I’ve started journaling so many times, but it always fizzles out in a couple of days. That is, until I started doing my reflection work.

Reflection work is an incredibly powerful tool to gain some insight into what’s going on in your brain and how you are doing in terms of eating to your realistic plan. Recording just three types of data every day is so much more sustainable than journaling everything in your life, and the revelations you’ll have when you look back over the data are huge.

Join me on the podcast this week and discover how reflection work can help you on your weight loss journey. I’ve created a worksheet to go along with this episode, so you can get started right away!

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. How is reflection work different than traditional journaling? 
  2. What data do I want to capture in my daily reflection work?
  3. How can I use this data to begin to coach myself? 

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • How reflection work helps you make future decisions.
  • 3 types of data that I try to capture with my reflection work.
  • How to coach yourself using the data you have collected through reflection work.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 19.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, love. I am just so excited to be here again today. I’m excited about today’s episode. We are going to talk about taking time to reflect and why it’s so important. And, for this episode, I created a free worksheet, so go to bflycoaching.com/reflect, and you can get it. And we’ll also put the link in the show notes for you. And, as always, I will leave you with a couple transformational questions to start taking action today.

So, ladies, it’s time for our listener shout-out. This is where I read a review of the podcast in each episode. This week’s shout-out is to Favorite Future. She wrote, “She’s an amazing coach and overall an amazing person. Fantastic podcast. Everything she says is so true.”

Thank you so much, Favorite Future. I love these reviews. I honestly read every single one of them and they make my day. So, thank you, ladies, for listening. I love that you take the time to listen and write a review.

So, the sun is back, ladies. Yes, I’m so excited. We have had some days in the 70s and I am loving it. I love feeling the sunshine on my skin when I’m walking.

So, I just finished my morning routine. And every morning I have a routine, and I love it. I actually love having routines now. I used to think routines were hard or restricting, but honestly, love, routines are freedom.

And one of my morning routines is reflection. Now, reflection work is different than journaling. Journaling is capturing the details of the day really for the history of it. And reflection is about capturing data so you can use it to begin to coach yourself and retrain your brain.

You know, loves, I used to want to be Oprah. I mean, if you’ve listened to her, she would talk about how she wrote in her journals since she was a little girl and she would have years of journals.

And so, I wanted to be like that, so I started so many times. I would start to write in a journal and I would, again, just write everything about my day. And it would last a day or two. And I just could never stick to it very long.

You know, I would journal for a few days and then I would move on. And it just didn’t have a purpose for me. And so, reflection work, it’s purposeful. It’s about capturing data to use so you can coach yourself, or use it to make future decisions.

Now, I teach my clients to do reflection work every single day and they capture lots of different data. But today, I want to share three pieces that I think are really important and a really great place to start in reflection work.

So, the first piece of data I capture with my reflection work is my thoughts, and more importantly, my negative, limiting, or sabotaging thoughts. And sometimes, as I go throughout my day, I will capture a thought in my phone so I don’t forget it.

Beginning to notice thoughts that are negative, like, “Shannan, you look fat in that,” or a limiting sabotaging thought like, “It’s okay, Shannan, you deserve the cupcake.” It’s the first step into changing your belief and thoughts so you can lose weight.

We have so many thoughts per day, and we’re disconnected from them. Stopping and recognizing and then capturing them helps us to reconnect to our bodies.

After I capture the thoughts, I just pick one or two and I do a little self-coaching. The biggest questions I ask myself are, why? And do I really believe that? And does this thought serve me? Starting to question our thoughts is the first step into changing our mindset.

The next set of data I capture is what I ate yesterday. More importantly, did I eat on-plan? These are just questions I ask, and then I write it down. If I ate off-plan, I simply ask, why? Love, no beating yourself up. None of that here.

Many of my Jumpstarters struggle at first to make a realistic plan. They actually struggle to make it realistic. They want to put diet foods on there. I mean, loves, we’ve been dieting so long that placing a cookie on your plan sets off all kinds of alarm bells.

So, when they start to do their reflection work and they’re eating off-plan, I coach them to ask themselves why. And it’s so often because they feel guilty about writing what they’re actually going to eat. Then they can understand why they’re not making a realistic plan. And then they can make a different decision.

This work is so important, love. This is how we start to change our mindset and we start to change from the inside out.

The third piece of data I collect are my successes from yesterday. I write down a few of them. We are always thinking about what we did not do, what we did not accomplish, what we could do better. That is our lizard. And we have to retrain our brain to think about what we’ve done right, what successes we have had. This part is so important. When we start to see what we’re doing right, we start believing in ourselves. We start having confidence that we can keep a commitment and that we can do this. And then, loves, we become unstoppable.

Loves, reflection work is so important. So, I want you to start with three pieces of data. What negative or limiting thoughts did you have yesterday? Number two, did I eat on my realistic plan? And then, ask yourself, if you didn’t, why? No beating yourself up, don’t forget that. And number three, what were my successes from yesterday?

And, loves, don’t forget to get the free worksheet. You can work through this process on the worksheet. So good, love.

So, the transformational questions today, how is reflection work different than traditional journaling? Number two, what data do I want to capture in my daily reflection work? And number three, how can I use this data to begin to coach myself? So good, love.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. It’s a free mini course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #18: Why Drastic Action is Stopping You from Losing Weight

As I look back on my weight loss journey, I can remember plenty of mornings when I would wake up ready to try a new diet. I was genuinely excited each and every time, ready to start making huge changes in my life in the hopes of seeing incredible results.

Well, I’ll save you the heartache right now, love, because it did not work… ever. What has worked, however, is consistent action every day, sticking to my realistic eating plan as best I could, and not making it mean I’d had some massive failure if I didn’t manage it.

Join me on the podcast this week for some insight into why your lizard brain loves the idea of taking drastic action, and why you’re way more likely to see the results you want if you slow down and take small manageable action every single day instead.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What actions can you do every day that will help you get off the diet rollercoaster?
  2. When you hit a challenge or failure, what will you do? What’s your plan?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why taking action doesn’t mean you have to do something huge and monumental.
  • The importance of consistent, even dull, everyday action.
  • Why going off-plan or having one bad day doesn’t mean you have failed.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 18.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, love. I am just so excited to be back again today. I’m excited about today’s episode. We are going to talk about taking action. And, as always, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions so that you can start taking action today.

So, ladies, oh my goodness, I was reading through the reviews of the podcast and they are just so wonderful. I mean, honestly, they choke me up. I mean, I just love that you ladies are listening. And today’s listener shout-out really touched me and got to me. The name of the author is Reclaiming My Life. And it just touched me in a way and got me a little emotional.

So, she wrote, “Shannan gives real world action items to implement immediately. I wrote down the contact information for a bariatric surgeon in a bout of desperation yesterday. I found this podcast and listened to it today. I feel inspired to allow myself some grace. Stop trying to be perfect and recognize, as Shannan outlines consistency and time equals results. I recommended to the podcast to my sister.”

I feel so connected to that review because I really do understand what it feels like to be so desperate that you’ll try anything, even surgery. And, ladies, I am just loving all of the reviews. And I just want to thank all of you ladies who took the time to leave a review. It honestly means just the world to me, honestly. So thank you so much.

So, I can’t believe that we are already more than halfway through January. I mean, time just flies. It’s been super cold. So I know I’ve been complaining about the weather here in Arizona. But I just got back form Delaware today and it was like warm there and kind of crazy. They were in the 70s this past weekend as I’m recording this. I mean, who would have thought? We were, like, in the 50s and Delaware was in the 70s. I mean, I’m not sure what’s going on. I’m not sure.

So, I have this quick story to share with you because, I don’t know, it made me laugh, so I thought I would share it with you. So, my husband and I, we went to this restaurant in Delaware. And we had just flown in and we were on our way to the hotel and we stopped at this restaurant. And they had this really big fireplace which was beautiful and nice.

And we were sitting there and we had just ordered dinner. And suddenly, the whole place filled with smoke. I mean, filled with smoke. And, you know, we probably should have left, but we didn’t. They didn’t, like, evacuate us. They were just like, “Okay, we’re going to fix it.”

And then, you know, the smoke kind of left, dissipated a little. And then, I’m not even kidding, 10 minutes later, it filled back up again. And so, it was kind of crazy because I had, of course, my purse. I had my winter jacket and all of that was there. And I didn’t even realize, I kind of had forgotten how smoke stays with you.

And so, it was a super short trip to Delaware. I was only honestly there about, I don’t know, not even two days really. I was only really at work one day in Delaware. And needless to say, I smelt like a barbeque pit for like two days.

And it’s so funny, I walked in – and I only brought one jacket with me, so it was cold enough where I needed a jacket. I couldn’t just wear fresh clothes. So I walked in and saw my peers and I just told them, you know, if they got hungry for ribs, it was me because I smelt like a barbeque pit.

So, I don’t know why, but it just made me laugh. Like, I think I walked around all day smelling like a thing of ribs. It was kind of crazy. Even the next morning, my husband and I woke up and our eyes were still burning a little. So that happened in Delaware, so it was a little crazy. But I just thought it was a funny story. Not funny in the smoke but funny in how I smell like a barbeque pit.

And it’s not like I was home where I could have pulled out another jacket or another purse. No, I got to walk around like a barbeque pit. It was awesome.

So, I’ve been thinking about all my ladies lately and, you know, ladies I think about you all the time. And some of the things – I have these new January Jumpstarters that are, you know, they’re in their second week now. And I see some of the things that they’re struggling with.

And when we decide to do something different and change, our primitive brain, also known as the lizard brain, will tell us all the reasons we can’t. and, you know, Lizzy likes to rebel too. Like, suddenly you find yourself eating everything in sight. Ladies, I find that many of my ladies struggle with this.

But, loves, it’s just part of it. you know, Lizzy, the lizard brain, it’s part of us. We control her. We can talk to her and let her know that everything is going to be okay. But we’re going to take action that serves us.

I remember starting so many programs or new diets and I would be so super excited at the beginning. I would promise myself that I would take all this action and I had about 10 things that I was going to do. But as I do this work and also learning form my Jumpstarters, it’s not this big monumental action, right? The 10 things, it’s not that.

It’s that consistent action is key. I used to teach it as massive action, but the word massive makes me think of huge monumental action. But, loves, it is the consistent boring dull action of everyday action. Consistent action is continual action to whatever success or goal you want, even though you fail or you encounter challenges. It is taking action every day, even though you want to give up.

When I look back at my weight loss journey, it was not the huge monumental moments. It was the daily showing up of making my realistic plan, doing my reflection work, and learning what food fuel me, and then checking in with my body. And nothing bright and shiny, just consistent action.

I mean, loves, we want to be perfect. We want to do these big amazing things. But, loves, it’s the little things. When I think of my business, it’s not the big stuff. It’s the daily showing up for my ladies and being consistent. I mean, could you imagine if I just stopped for a week or two or a month and just was like, I’m too busy, tired? It would not have good results, right? It would have negative results.

But I always get to decide what I’m going to do. And I’ve just learned that small consistent action, it yields amazing results. Consistent action is the taking of action on a consistent basis, even though you ate off-plan, even though you said screw it for the night and ate the cupcakes.

One bad meal or one bad day does not make a failure. And it doesn’t mean that it has to go for two days or two weeks or two months. Loves, just take the next best action.

I think this is so important. If you want to lose weight for good, it takes time and consistent action. Time plus consistency equals results. I just can’t say it enough.

And it’s the small mundane everyday routines that create long-lasting change. So, expect that you’re going to have failures and challenges. Know that you can keep taking consistent action that serves you. I mean, you’ve got this, love. And this is it. You will have results either way.

You will have the result you want, or you will stay stuck. You get to decide. You get to decide to take consistent action that serves you or not.

So, the transformational questions, what actions can you do every day that will help you get off the diet rollercoaster? And number two, when you hit a challenge or failure, what will you do? What’s your plan? You’ve got this, love.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. It’s a free mini course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #17: 50-50: How to Embrace the Positive and Accept the Negative

I’m coming off the back of a pretty crazy week. Between taking my daughter-in-law to the hospital, my husband being in a minor car accident, and noticing some fraud on my bank account, I was also grappling with the launch of my new program. It was a week full of emotion, for sure. However, it really reaffirmed my belief in today’s topic.

Life throws a lot of challenges our way and it’s impossible to feel totally positive 100% of the time. However, if we embrace the idea that every aspect of life has to be 50% good and 50% bad, then we will always be well-equipped to cope when things start going in a direction we didn’t expect.

Tune in this week as I share why, even though we want it, nothing in life is ever 100% positive for long, and how accepting the inevitability that we will experience negative emotion will help you avoid reaching for that cupcake when things do get stressful.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What if you knew it was always going to be 50-50 and the cupcake would never change it?
  2. What if you could expect negative emotion? What would it change for you?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why life is supposed to be 50% good and 50% bad.
  • How our lizard brain tries to keep us happy 100% of the time.
  • The ways I see people struggle to accept the negative 50% of life.
  • How you can embrace the 50-50 balance and avoid buffering, even when things around you seem stressful.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 17.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, love. I am so excited to be back today. I love these podcasts and I love recording them and spending some time with you. So, in today’s episode, we are going to talk about 50-50 and 50-50 is all about positive and negative emotion.

And you know, negative emotion is just part of everything. And so we’re going to talk a lot about that today. And as always, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions to start taking action today. But first, of course, I want to give a listener shout-out. This is where I’ll read a review of the podcast every single week.

And this week’s shout-out goes to Lion Puppy, or Amy L, “Thank you, Shannan, I love your podcast. Your coaching has been so helpful to me. Amy L.” Thank you so much, Amy. I am loving all the reviews, ladies. I just love that you ladies are listening. And if you love this show, please rate and review the show. I would so appreciate it. and don’t forget to subscribe so every Wednesday I’ll be in your podcast library.

Loves, this week has been so amazing, wonderful, and kind of crazy. You know, we opened and closed our doors to Jumpstart. I mean, we have so many #JanuaryJumpstarters. They’re starting their first week this week. So exciting. And I had so much fun.

So all of you ladies that showed up for the free trainings, the lives, I mean, honestly, just spending time with all the ladies, it’s one of my favorite things. But, loves, let me tell you, on Thursday of the launch, my son called me in the morning and he said, “Hey, mom…” and I had my whole day planned out, full of trainings and content writing.

And he said, “My wife…” my daughter in-law, “She’s sick. Can you take her to the hospital?” And, of course, I was like, “Of course.” He was going to stay home with my grandbabies. So, I take my daughter in-law to the emergency room.

And let me just say, everything is okay. But, you know, we spent about four hours there, and they took care of her, and now she’s feeling much better and everything is good. But then, I had a few trainings, and in between all of that, I notices a bunch of fraud on one of my bank accounts.

So then, ladies, in between all of the stuff that was going on, I had to call the bank and take care of all of that. And then, ladies, on Friday – so that was Thursday. And then, on Friday, we had a team meeting. And my son, he couldn’t talk. And I was like, “Son, what’s wrong?” And he’s like, “Mom…” he barely could talk.

He almost bit his tongue off. My sweet grandbaby jumped on him and my son almost bit his own tongue off. I’m not even kidding. So, I’m like, holy-moly. And then, the cheery on top, loves – this is on Friday – my husband, right after I got off the phone with my son, my husband called me and said he was in a car accident.

Again, no one hurt, everything will be okay. But honestly, love, all of this was within two days, right in the middle of my launch. And you know, loves, everything turned out okay, but it actually leads me right into today’s topic, 50-50.

You know, our lizard brains want us to be comfortable and want us to be happy. I mean, we’re always taught that we’re searching for happiness. And our lizard brains want us to stay safe, so we’re consistently pushing against or avoiding negative or uncomfortable emotion.

We’re taught that we should be happy. And honestly, everything that we do is because we want to feel a certain way. So, you know, we fall in love because we want to feel love. I exercise because I want to feel strong and capable. We go to school and get educations because we want to feel confident. We eat to feel comfort. I mean, we have friends because we want to feel like we belong.

And, loves, when we overeat, we’re trying to feel comfortable, safe, love, sometimes we’re just trying to avoid boredom and we’re trying to feel busy. Because we’re never taught to look at our thoughts and feelings, honestly, we’ve just been on this diet rollercoaster for years.

But negative and uncomfortable emotion is the other side. Everything balances out. It’s kind of like yin and yang, positive and negative. Life is supposed to be 50-50. We’re not always supposed to be happy, and we’re striving so that we can feel happy, so we can feel that we belong, and so that we can feel all these positive emotions.

And then, we have all of this other stuff that’s negative and what we try to do is buffer. We try to push that negative emotion down. And when we do that – and for most of us who re listening to this podcast, it’s all about food. And so, we use food to push the negative emotion down.

But you know, loves, life, it’s supposed to be 50-50. And you know, I used to – when I first heard this – my brain instantly went to, “No, 70-30.” But honestly, the more deep I go into this work, the more I work on myself, I realize it’s 50-50.

Now, some days are 90-10 and some days are 10-90. But in the end, I really truly believe it all balances out. I see this so much when my Jumpstarters start. They want to be happy. They want to feel freedom. And they want to be positive all the time.

They struggle with accepting or expecting the negative 50%. I know because, loves, I did this for so much of my life. I did not want to feel the pain, so I just kept pushing it down with a cupcake. But you know, love, that it just comes up. I mean, it comes up with a greater force than when I pushed it back down.

And so, when I accept that I can feel negative or uncomfortable emotion, I’m less likely to avoid, buffer or resist it. So, when I know that I can feel frustration, irritation, shame, uncomfortable, then the less likely I am to eat the cupcake to avoid the negative emotion. I mean, Thursday and Friday, I mean, it was just a rollercoaster of emotion.

I was having so much fun with the ladies and then I had all of these other things happening. And I still realized that I could feel the negative emotion. I could feel the stress when I saw all the fraud on our bank account. I could feel stressful when I was sitting in the emergency room and I could feel uncomfortable when I was waiting to ensure that my daughter in-law was okay. And I don’t have to eat the cupcake.

And, loves, when I know that my son has a 50-50 life too, I know that I can’t protect him from it, he has to experience his 50-50 life. I’m serious when I say this, love, it saves me so much drama and worry. I mean, I wanted him to go to the hospital when he thought that he had bit his tongue pretty much off.

I wanted to take care of him. I wanted him to feel better. But I could not. He had to go through the physical pain and some stress with his tongue. So, knowing that I have a 50-50 life means that I don’t have to be perfect. I can have a bad moment; I can feel shame and take the next best action.

When I know that no feeling will ever kill me and that I have the tools to cope with anything, I have more confidence. I know that I’m going to feel negative emotion. And hear me, ladies, hear me when I say this; I expect it.

I expect negative emotion. And by expecting it, I do not buffer or avoid it or push it down like a beachball. When I know that I’ll have failure and I feel shame about it, I can grow. I can learn from it.

In growing this business, I have so many times where my lizard brain wants me to quit. The times the tech feels hard or I have to be vulnerable. But I know that this business is 50-50; 50% amazing and wonderful, like when I get an email from a client that feels like she has hope again for the first time or that’s he finally feels some love for herself, and 50% it’s learning all the tech and feeling overwhelmed.

And when we start to expect the 50-50, life gets easier. We learn that we can feel emotion. We can allow it and we can move on. It’s so freeing. I am a human. I have a human brain. And I am imperfectly perfect. I’m learning, growing, and evolving. And that is how it’s supposed to be, 50-50.

So, the transformational questions today, what if you knew that it was always going to be 50-50 and the cupcake would never change it? And number two, what if you could expect negative emotion, what would it change for you?

Okay, loves, so much love to you.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. It’s a free mini course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #16: 4 Beliefs that Are Stopping You from Losing Weight

Loves, I want to talk about what’s keeping us stuck and the beliefs that we hold that are stopping us from losing weight. Limiting beliefs are nothing new, but it might surprise you how they’re showing up undetected.

Especially over the holidays, we make excuses for why we are eating off-plan. I did this for years. And if we don’t check in on our limiting thoughts, we can actually make these mistakes all year round and not even realize that our lack of progress is completely self-inflicted.

Tune in this week as I discuss the four most common limiting-beliefs when it comes to weight loss and how to become the watcher of these unhelpful thoughts so that you can catch them as they come up for you and look at what you can believe instead.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What are your limiting thoughts?
  2. How do they keep you from taking action?
  3. Do you take negative action when you have a limiting thought?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • How some limiting beliefs don’t always seem limiting on the surface.
  • 4 of the most problematic limiting beliefs that we have around weight loss.
  • How to become the watcher of your thoughts to observe and change your limiting beliefs.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 16.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, love. I am just so excited to be back with you again today. I haven’t recorded an episode in a couple weeks and I’m just excited to be back in front of the mic.

So, in today’s episode, we are going to talk about limiting thoughts, and honestly, how tricky they can be. And as always, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions so you can start taking action today.

But as always, I want to give a listener shout-out. And this week’s listener shout-out is to #BFLYlover. I mean, the name alone, I’m in love with, “I just listened to your first podcast from October. I swear you are telling my story. I have been through one of your changes and just started the second. I’m looking forward to learning how to change my brain when it comes to al of these diets I’ve tried. Nothing has worked, and now I know why. I’m so glad I found you, Shannan, and BFLY.”

I mean, I love that review. It is so sweet. And I love that you ladies are listening. I really appreciate it. and if you love the show, please rate and review the show. I would so appreciate it. And also, subscribe so that every Wednesday I’m just in your podcast library.

So, ladies, as I record this it is January 1st, I just cannot believe we are in 2020. We’re beginning a new decade. I mean, it is just so crazy to me. I mean, I’ve already had so much fun to day, I did two of my free trainings and a Facebook live. And honestly, outside of my family and my grandbabies, it is just my favorite thing. I just love being with all you ladies. And I hope all of you had an amazing holiday.

I mean, it was crazy cold here in Arizona. I mean crazy cold. And so much rain. We have received days and days of rain, which I live in a desert, so I’m not used to all of this. Now, I know I’m complaining, but I’m an Arizona girl and it’s been, like, in the 30s and 40s. I mean, I have so much empathy for all of you who live in the north or the east.

So, we just really relaxed over Christmas break. We spent a lot of time, because it was raining and cold, in the house, resting, and it was just what I needed. I really needed to recharge my battery, and that’s what I did. And I just had the best time. My husband and I, just relaxing. It was the best. And of course, some G-baby time here and there.

So, on this episode, I’m going to dive into limiting thoughts. These are sneaky thoughts that the lizard brain that we have that we think are serving us. We think these thoughts are okay. But honestly, love, they are really sabotaging our weight loss.

And I talked about self-sabotage in episode number four, so if you haven’t listened to it, be sure to listen to it. But I really wanted to dive into some of the trickiest thoughts we have. And I want you to notice these thoughts because they are triggers to sabotaging behavior.

And one of the tools I teach is to become a watcher of your thoughts. It’s so important, ladies, to start noticing all the different thoughts you have running around. I mean, seriously, loves, that lizard is tricky.

The first thought that I want to talk about today and that I believe really limits us and keeps us stuck on the diet rollercoaster is, “I deserve this.” It’s a limiting thought. It sounds okay, but really, love, it is self-pity. It’s a way for us to excuse a bad behavior. It’s a thought that leads to overeating or overspending, I mean, all of the things that keep us from achieving our goals.

The truth is, if we deserve it, we will already have it. and honestly, love, what we truly deserve is a healthy body, love for ourselves, love for our bodies. That is what we truly deserve. So, loves, watch it. I mean, mine used to come on a Friday night. It would be the end of the week, and suddenly, I would have the thought, “Well I’ve been good all week. I deserve this cupcake.”

Love, it was so sabotaging. It’s just another way that we sabotage our success, and we have to really honestly realize when we’re saying, “I deserve this,” and watching that thought and then watching the actions that we take after we think that thought. Loves, it is so important.

The next one is, “I am so tired or busy.” Love, this is in my brain a lot. I mean, even tonight, I honestly didn’t want to record this podcast. I’ve had a busy day, so my lizard was like, “Just tell Pavel you’ll have the episode tomorrow.” But, love, it is not true. I love recording these podcasts. I can record the podcast. I have plenty of time to do it. And I can take actions that are in my best interest.

So, love, watch for these thoughts because they sound like true facts. You could be thinking right now, “But, Shannan, I am tired. I am busy.” But you can make the time. I mean, loves, we have done this; we say we’re so busy, but we make the time to go full-head into a gallon of ice cream. Or we say we’re so tired, and we don’t do the thing that’s going to help us lose weight, like make our realistic plan.

The limiting thought, “I am so tired or busy,” leads to us not doing stuff and sabotaging behavior. Busy is a lie. We all have 168 hours in a week. I mean, from a CEO of a company to J-Lo, to you, we all get the same amount of time.

Busy is just another tricky lie we tell ourselves so we cannot take care of ourselves, so we can put others before ourselves, so we can let the lizard brain control what we’re doing. And honestly, love, we’re worth more than that. You are worth more than that.

So, number three, this one, we just went through the holidays, and so this limiting thought happens to all of us. And it is, “But it’s the holidays. It’s my birthday. It’s my kid’s birthday. It’s my anniversary. It’s Friday.” There are so many tricky limiting thoughts like these. And loves, we’ve associated these beautiful holidays with food and overeating. And we’ve made it okay.

I’ve had a birthday, celebrated with my family, and not eaten half the cake, and it’s been okay. we just went through the holidays and I did not go full off plan. I did not have a binge fest. I did not gain weight, love.

I still enjoy the things that I love. I made cookies with my grandbabies and ate some cookies. I enjoyed pie. I just placed them on my realistic plan. I did not put off me until after the holidays. That is what this thought does. It keeps putting you off.

I plan when I want to eat something and I’m aware of how it feels in my body, no excuses or obsession. That is what the realistic plan is. It’s just freedom. And it keeps me from putting me off.

So, number four, “I just have so much to lose, I will never do it.” This thought just keeps you from taking action. Every person who lost weight started somewhere and it never matters about your starting point. I mean, love, I have started at 315 pounds and 290 pounds. I have started all over. And the last time I started at 247 pounds.

All that matters is that you’re learning and failing and taking action. I was unsuccessful at losing weight until I wasn’t. I want you to hear me again when I say this; I was unsuccessful at losing weight until I wasn’t.

Loves, what are your limiting thoughts or excuses? What are the triggers that you have? And then, when you have a limiting thought, you can be a watcher of that thought. You can be onto yourself. You can allow that thought and not act on it. That is the power of this work.

So, just notice what limiting thoughts that you have. I’ve shown you four here, but there are so many more. Loves, when you have a limiting thought, I want you to think, what is the next best action that I can take and what thought would help me create that best action?

Okay, love, so here are the transformational questions. Number one, what are your limiting thoughts. Number two, how do they keep you from taking action? And number three, do you take negative action when you have a limiting thought? It’s so good, loves.

Thank you so much for listening, I can’t wait to talk to you next week.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. It’s a free mini course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #15: New Year’s Resolutions Busted

For years, I would set New Year’s resolutions and not meet any of them. Every year, weight loss was high on the list and I always believed that this would be the year I was going to change for good. But like so many, I would give up as soon as things became uncomfortable.

But keep listening, loves. I have an alternative for you that will provide the foundation for real success in the year ahead.

We are officially in 2020 and I’m thinking deeply about what I want to accomplish, so I’m coming at you with a short and sweet demonstration of my process for setting goals for the next year. Join me this week for a guide to setting simple, realistic goals, and most importantly, sticking to them.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What successes did you have in 2019?
  2. What realistic success do you want in 2020?

  3. What challenges could you face in achieving your success?

  4. What strategy will you implement to overcome your challenges? 

If you love this work and you want to take it even deeper to get off the diet roller coaster for good, you need to check out my signature program, Jumpstart. Doors are opening today, on January 1st 2020 for six days only, so to get early access and more information, register here!


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why so many of us fail in our traditional New Year’s resolutions.
  • How my successes from the previous year help push me along throughout the next one.
  • The method I use to decide on my goals for the next year.
  • How to come up with a strategy for achieving your goals and not falling into the usual New Year’s resolution cycle.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 15.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 Executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, loves. Oh my goodness, Happy New Year! Can you believe it is 2020? I am just so excited today. Jumpstart is opening today and, oh, I am just over the moon about it. My last Jumpstarters had such amazing results, and I just can’t wait to work with another group of amazing ladies.

In today’s episode, we are going to bust the New Year’s resolutions. I’m going to show you how I plan the year, and how I ensure I am meeting my goals. And, as always, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions to start taking action today.

But first, as always, I want to give a listener shout-out. This week’s listener shout-out is to CAJ80. The title of her review is “Encouraging. Thank you for helping women on your podcast and on Facebook. Very helpful and encouraging in helping women not feel alone on a weight-loss journey. Helping us get back in touch with our bodies.” Thank you so much, CAJ80.

I mean, I just love these reviews. Every time I read them, I mean, they give me goosies and really make my day. I love that you ladies are listening. And again, if you love this show, please rate or review it. I would just so appreciate it. And don’t forget to subscribe, so every Wednesday it’s just waiting for you.

So, today as I’m recording this, I’ve already been working on 2020. I have been thinking about what I want to accomplish, what I want my successes to be. I’m thinking of all of you and how I’m going to serve my ladies.

This episode will be shorter, because I want to teach you the process. I love the New Year. I love fresh beginnings and looking to the future. I used to set New Year’s resolutions and goals. I would hit some of them, and then not hit many of them. Weight loss was always on there.

I mean, every year I was trying something different, and this was going to be the year. I was always setting about 52 goals and things I wanted to do in the New Year. I mean, honestly, I thought, “This is the year that I literally become a different person.”

But like many of you, I would quit, or give up when it was too hard, or when I had made some mistakes. And, I’ve learned a different way. And in today’s episode, I’m going to share the process that I go through.

The first thing I do is reflection. I look back on the past year. And loves, I look for all my successes. I write them down. Yes, my successes. I mean, we’re always looking at our challenges, our failures, our disappointments. Our lizard brains are just wired that way. But looking at what I’ve accomplished, what my successes have been, help prep me for the next part.

I then look at the next year and I look at each area my life. I ask myself, “What do I want it to look like in 2020?” What do I want for my health, spirituality, financial, relationships, business, career, fun? Don’t forget the fun, ladies. What do I want for my ladies? And, what are my successes in 2021?

And then, I preplan my successes. I choose one thing in each area of my life that I want to focus on. Just one, and I make it realistic. Now, you know, ladies, that I love the realistic plan. So, just like my realistic plan, I make my goals realistic.

I believe why so many of us fail with New Year’s resolutions is because we put too many, and we make it unrealistic for a year’s time. We put too much change, and then our lizards take over, and we quit.

But loves, the key is one small step at a time. That’s how we achieve a goal. So, I write one success I want to have, and then I write clearly what I want it to be. And then, I write out all the challenges I will have. I write out all the ways I could fail.

I do this, love, because nothing is a straight line. There will always be challenges. There will always be mistakes. And when I plan for them, then I know what to do, and it helps me not to quit. Maybe one of your goals is to make your realistic plan every day. Let’s say something happens, and you don’t make it. Then your brain, your lizard, thinks of it like a failure. Then it starts to tell you all the reasons why it’s too hard and why you could fail.

So then, I create a strategy to overcome the challenge or mistake. Let’s say I didn’t make my realistic plan for the day. My strategy to overcome that would be, as soon as I realize I didn’t make it, I make it for the next meal. I don’t let one day turn into a week. Learning to plan in this way helps to retrain your brain to look for success, and have a strategy for when you have a challenge or a mistake.

Every dream or goal that I’ve ever achieved has come with lots of failure. I had to retrain my brain to learn to fail and not give up. It’s one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself, love.

So love, here is the process to bust the New Year’s resolution and make realistic successes for 2020. Reflect on your successes of 2019, then write what realistic success do you want in each area of your life? Then write all the challenges you could face. And then write a strategy for each challenge.

That is the secret to achieving your goals and not just falling into the New Year’s resolution cycle. Remember, loves, time plus consistency equals your results. Oh, you got this, love.

So the transformational questions I’m going to leave you, what successes did you have in 2019 Number two, what realistic success do you want in 2020? Number three, what challenges could you face in achieving your success? And number four, what strategy will you implement to overcome the challenges?

Oh, so good, loves. And if you love this work and you want to go deeper, my signature program, Jumpstart, is open from January 1st through January 6th. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/contact-me. Bye, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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