Ep #27: Solutions to Help You Manage Your Fears

Solutions to Help You Manage Your Fears

Things are changing rapidly around us as the Covid-19 outbreak spreads, and I know this is impacting all of us in various ways. When things change so quickly, it’s inevitable for fear and uncertainty to come up, and I’m offering two solutions to help you manage your negative emotions during this time.

Unfortunately, we can’t control the world or what is happening, but we can manage our minds. Feeling bad and staying stuck in a cycle of negative feelings is only going to lead to eating, and in three or six months, seeing weight gain that you don’t want. It’s important to keep showing up for yourself as you would normally, and I’m giving you a couple of simple solutions you can use to do this.

Join me this week as I remind you that this too shall pass, my love. It’s easy in times of fear to push that feeling down with food, but it will never work. I want different, better results for you, and these two simple life rafts I’m offering up today are going to help you feel the fear and take care of yourself and your loved ones regardless.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. How can you change your routine to still serve you during this time?
  2. How can you have community even when you’re at home?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why it’s normal for fear and uncertainty to come up in times of change.
  • How not managing our lizard brains leads to suffering. 
  • 2 simple solutions to help you navigate this difficult time. 


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 27.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves. Welcome back to the show. I am so blessed that I get to spend some time with all you ladies and I am so grateful that you are listening. So a lot is happening in our world right now and today, I’m going to give you some simple solutions to help you navigate what is happening.

But before we get into the show, I want to give a listener shout-out to EmmWells. She wrote, “Love hearing from someone with so much experience.” And I just want to thank you Emm. I love all the reviews and they mean so much to me. I read each and every one of them.

So about one week ago I had heard all of the things on Covid-19, and of course I’ve heard about it now for a couple of months. But I had no idea the impact it would have and how much things would change so quickly. Last week, so one week ago, my son and his family were in Disneyland and Jumpstart was opening and I had a few days off from my job.

And in just one day, from a Wednesday to a Thursday, Disneyland had closed, I was on multiple calls with my day job, grocery store shelves had emptied, all of my travel from my day job had been canceled, schools were starting to be canceled. It has been moving so fast, it can feel like it’s hard to keep up with. Like we’re out of control.

In the days that have passed, many things have changed. Many of us are staying home, schools are canceled, and all of us have been impacted in some way. When everything changes so quickly, love, fear, uncertainty, and frustration are feelings that come up.

Even if we want to ignore what is happening, somewhere in our brains, we are thinking what if? What if the world ends, if I can’t get food? What if the economy doesn’t survive? What if all the Mad Max movies come true?

We have this primitive lizard brain that is always on the lookout for danger. And now, all of our lizards are in hyperdrive. So what do we do? Loves, we cannot control the world or what is happening. We can be informed, take precautions, but we cannot change any of it.

When we let our lizard brains go into full hyperdrive without managing our minds, it makes us suffer. We feel bad. We worry. And then love, we eat. We throw all the things that we’ve been doing to take care of ourselves out the window because we still believe that a cookie will solve it. We believe a cookie will bring us comfort and joy, but it doesn’t.

This too shall pass, my love. It will. And how we’ve shown up for ourselves during this is so important. We can eat our way through this, not drink our water, stay up watching the news, not doing our reflection work, but in three to six months, where will we be? Will we have gained about five to 20 pounds?

I say this, love, because it is so easy in times where we feel fear to try to push that feeling down with food. But it just never works. It keeps coming up over and over again. And I want different for you, love. I want you to get through this being able to feel the fear, the uncertainty, being able to take care of you.

Because when we show up for ourselves and take care of ourselves, it’s the only way we can show up and take care of others. I want to offer you a couple different solutions as life rafts during this difficult time. The first is routine.

So many of you have been following my four fundamentals, and keeping the routine of making your realistic plan, getting your sleep and water, eating more fuel food than not, and reflection work, and continuing to implement your routine is critical during times of stress and uncertainty.

My four fundamentals are the basics of weight loss. Routine is so important right now. Even if your routine has changed because maybe you’re at home, what routines can you implement to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself?

If you’re not familiar with my four fundamentals, you can get my free course at bflycoaching.com/free-course. And we’ll also place all of these links in the show notes and you can get those at bflycoaching.com/27.

Having a routine and following my four fundamentals can help you through this time, love. The second solution that I want to offer you is community. I know that most of us are at home and we will start to feel isolated. It’s so important in weight loss that we have support. Weight loss can feel like such a lonely journey.

I have this community of beautiful women, so if you’re a Jumpstarter, come to the coaching calls. I’m doing an extra coaching call each week. Be active in your accountability team. Also, I’m offering one-on-one coaching to my Jumpstarters to help them get through this.

And also, reach out to your BFly sisters. They are there to help you any time. Now, if you’re not a Jumpstarter, join my free Facebook group, Weight Loss for Successful Women. I’m going to do an extra Facebook Live in that group over the next couple of weeks.

So I’m going to go from one a week to two a week. The link to join will be in the show notes at bflycoaching.com/27. I’ll also be doing extra fun stuff in both groups to continue to support you because love, I got you.

I want to leave you with a couple of transformational questions. How can you continue or change your routine to still serve you during this time? And how can you have community even when you’re at home?

Loves, I am here for you and I want you to know that this too shall pass. It is a moment in our history. I am sending you lots of love during this time and so much love from me and my family to all of you and your family. And I’ll see you in the community. Alright, bye for now, love.

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #26: Pain Vs. Suffering

Pain Vs. SufferingAs humans, pain is something that’s inevitable – we all experience it. I went through a dark period after going through a divorce at 22, and I continued to feel the devastation long after, and I kept suffering. Loves, while pain is unavoidable, suffering is a choice, and that’s what I’m diving into today.

A practice I have all of my clients do is go back and rewrite their past. This can be so powerful, and this is how I changed my story, to end the suffering once and for all. We all have the option to fall victim to our past experiences, or we can evolve and become more powerful because of it. I choose power and love, and I want you to as well.

Join me this week to see how suffering might be a choice you’re making in your life. Showing up as your best self makes you unstoppable, and once you start the process of rewriting your past, you’ll see transformation not only in your weight loss journey, but everywhere else in your life too.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What pain are you carrying with you that has turned into suffering?
  2. What are you ready to let go of?
  3. How can you take your power back? 

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • How suffering is something we’re choosing to experience. 
  • Why we have the power to rewrite our past. 
  • Why suffering often leads to buffering. 


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 26.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves. I am so excited to be back today. I just love the podcast and I love all you ladies. And I just feel honored that I even get to spend this time and that I’m in your ear. So last night we were having a team meeting and we always do this over video.

My granddaughter Jackson was in rare form. She of course was with my son and daughter-in-law, and she wanted to be the center of attention. So at first, she put on these costume earrings and she tried to join us on the video, and then she went and she put on her princess shoes. I mean, all to be part of our meeting.

And we were not giving her the attention. So then she went and she put on her scary mask and she came and tried to scare all of us. She wanted attention, and she was going to try anything to get it. I was thinking about this and thinking about how the little girl inside of us is screaming for attention.

Our bodies, love. Our core selves are crying out for us to pay attention, to stop trying to disconnect. When I was on the diet rollercoaster, I was doing anything I could to disconnect from my body. I was at war with it. When I started to pay attention, started to love my body, and myself, the lizard brain, it started to quiet.

That is what happens, love, when we just give ourselves a little bit of attention. And we all finally stopped the meeting and we gave Jackson five minutes of our undivided attention. And then she went in her room to play. It was simply really that easy.

Okay ladies, it is time for our listener shout-out. This is where I read a review of the podcast in each episode. This week’s shout-out is to Melissa Brew. “These past few days have been motivational. Learning about my lizard brain has truly opened my eyes, and planning is a fundamental I am using every day.”

Thank you so much Melissa. I loved your review and thank you so much for leaving one. I really appreciate it. So loves, let’s get into today’s show. When I was 19, I fell in love. I mean hard. I was so in love. We got married and we then had our son. I mean, it was a rocky relationship, we’ll say, at best. I mean, we were young.

I mean, we split up a lot and we got back together a lot. I actually moved to Germany and then came back home and then went back to Germany. I thought I loved him so much. And then he cheated. He was not that in love with me and we decided to end it.

I was devastated. I could not believe that I was 22, going through a divorce, and I was going to be a single mother. I did not know much about divorce. My parents were still married, my aunts, my uncles, my grandparents. I had not seen much of it. I thought I was a failure. I thought I was not good enough.

It was a dark period for me because I continued to feel the devastation of losing my husband. I keep suffering over it. I did it over and over again for years. I kept suffering. I thought it was my fault. I thought I was not pretty enough, thin enough, sexy enough, that I was not enough.

My ex-husband lived out of state and he had come to visit my son many years later. And we ended up actually spending the weekend together. I felt all the feelings again. And then it was over. He went back home and I was left with all the pain again.

I decided that night after he had left to let him go, to let the pain, the suffering of that relationship be over. I remember I cried until two in the morning. I felt all the pain, all the feelings. And then I decided I was not going to suffer anymore. I had suffered long enough and it was time to rewrite the story.

I have all of my clients do this, to go back and rewrite their past. It is so powerful. The past only lives in our minds. We all have pain but we choose to suffer. Yes, I know loves, we choose it. We can change our stories and how we want to think of the stories.

We can fall victim to our past or we can become powerful because of it. And I choose power, love. I did not want to suffer anymore because of my ex, and it had nothing to do with him. It was all me. I was the one who was suffering. It all lived in my head. I decided to find the good in that relationship. The good in him.

What did he teach me? How did I become the person I was at that time because of him? And not to mention, he gave me the most precious gift of a beautiful son. I had a good relationship with my ex through the years. I did not have anything but love for him. I wish and still do him all the good in the world.

Honestly loves, I don’t think of him. My son is grown, he lives in another state, and I don’t suffer because of him. I am grateful for him. I am grateful for all the gifts he gave me. Loves, this is total freedom. This is the power of this work. We can have pain but we can feel it, learn from it, and move on.

We do not have to suffer. We can take our power back. When we suffer, we feel like victims. We lose all our power. And then do you know what we do? We eat. We buffer to avoid our feelings. We push them down. Then we carry this extra barrier around ourselves that keeps us from truly getting close to anyone.

I have released the barrier that I carried around myself for so long. I am more close to my husband than I have ever been with anyone in my life. My husband knows me. I am vulnerable with him, I let him in. I let him love me. And loves, I love him.

This work is so much more than losing weight. It is honestly life-changing work, so we can show up as our best selves, so we can let go of all of the suffering. Because love, we are powerful. We are unstoppable. We are love.

And so the transformational questions today, what pain are you carrying with you that has turned into suffering? And what are you ready to let go of? And the last one, how can you take your power back? So good, loves.

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #25: Our Expectations and Manuals

Our Expectations and Manuals

Loves, we’ve reached 25 episodes here on the podcast, and I’ve decided that every 25 episodes, I’ll be giving you ladies a bonus teaching on something other than just weight loss, because that’s not all our lives are about, right?

So today, I’m going to be introducing you to a concept called “the manual.” Our relationships are such a key part of our lives, and the manuals we have for other people bring us so much suffering and drama when we don’t understand how they’re playing out in our daily lives, which I guarantee you that they are. Letting them go can be so freeing and help you feel more love for the people around you, and who doesn’t want to feel more love?

Join me this week to gain a better understanding of how you can make your relationships healthier and happier. Practicing this concept is going to free you of unnecessary drama and it has helped me in so many ways, so I’m excited for you to start seeing how you can apply this in your own life too.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What manuals or expectations do you have for the people closest to you?
  2. How would you benefit if you dropped the manuals?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.

Jumpstart opens today for five days only! If you want more information, come to one of my free trainings. You will learn about the three things that kept me stuck on the diet rollercoaster and how I got off. Click here for the registration link! 

Don’t forget to grab the bonus worksheet that goes along with this episode. Click here to get it!


What You’ll Discover:

  • What manuals are and how we all have them. 
  • Why you suffer when you have manuals for other people.
  • What boundaries are and how to use them. 
  • The difference between boundaries and manuals. 


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 25.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves. Oh my goodness, episode number 25. I just can’t believe it. I am so excited. I want to thank all of you who have been listening and supporting the show. And also, today is the opening of Jumpstart, my program that is helping ladies get off the diet rollercoaster. I’m also doing a few free trainings over the next couple of days. We will place the link to sign up for the free trainings in the show notes.

So loves, this episode is also going to be extra special. Every 25 episodes, I’m going to share a teaching that is not completely about weight loss. So things like relationships, money, your space, and time leadership. In my programs, I always have a bonus area with these kinds of materials. I like to help my ladies in every area of their life. Not just weight loss, because we show up as a whole person.

In today’s episode, I’m going to share a concept called the manual. It has helped me tremendously in my relationships and my clients’ relationships. There’s also a bonus worksheet for this episode, so you can go to bflycoaching.com/manual to get it. And we’ll put it in the show notes for you too.

So I was thinking back to when I signed up for Martha Beck’s life coaching program. And then loves, I returned all the materials and I dropped out of the program before it even began. Yes loves, I did this. This was about seven to eight years ago. I knew I wanted to be a life coach but I was scared. I was unsure about becoming an entrepreneur.

I went to coach training almost two years ago through the best school in the world, The Life Coach School, and I can’t believe how much has changed in the last two years. I still have a ton of fear about being an entrepreneur, but now I have the tools to overcome my fear. It is such a difference from seven years ago.

I love that we keep learning and we keep growing and that we keep pushing ourselves to want more, to be more. I think that’s really it. We want more. We know that we’ve not reached our full potential, and we do have a ton of fear, but we just keep showing up, even though we are imperfect.

Losing weight is not a perfect journey. You will have failures. You will have times that you backslide. I did. But as you learn the tools I teach, you will also have the tools to keep overcoming the fear. So loves, just keep showing up. Keep pushing and your future self will be here before you know it.

So let’s get to our listener shout-out. I love that you ladies are listening and reviewing the show. I read each and every one of them. Today’s listener review is from MindGeek1. She wrote, “Shannan’s podcast is quick, kind, and informative. I enjoy listening every week.” Thank you so much MindGeek1. I so appreciate you taking the time to leave a review of the show.

So, the special episode today. I want to talk about all things relationships. Relationships are such a key part of our life, from spouses, family, friends, sisters, mothers, coworkers, kids, relationships play a huge part in how we think and feel. I want to teach you a concept called the manual. I learned this from my teacher years ago and it has helped me in so many ways.

We all have this list of expectations for the people around us. How they should act, behave, what they should do. We believe if they could just be better, that would make us happy. I mean, how many times have you thought, “If my spouse or my sister or my mother, if they could just be better, everything would be better. And you know, if they could just be on time, if they could just love us more, if they could be more understanding, if they could not judge us, if they could call more or spend more time with us,” I mean, we have this whole list.

This whole list of expectations, of rules they must follow. And remember, we’re talking about rules for adults. Not our children. I have a family so I want to tell you a story. I have this family member who I invite to family dinners. And they are mostly late and sometimes they do not even show up.

I had this dinner once where they showed up late and then did not even eat what I made because they had already eaten. Now, I could go into how I think that it’s rude, how they don’t respect me, how they don’t care about me, but those are my rules and expectations for them. They are adults and they get to show up however they would like.

They get to decide how they want to act. Now I want to say that again. They’re adults and they get to show up however they would like. The crazy part is when they were late or did not show up, I would be upset. I would go through all of this drama about how they didn’t care about me. I would say, “Don’t they know how long it took me to prepare or the money I spent on the meal?” But who is suffering there? Me.

They are doing their own thing somewhere else, and I’m at my party upset. I suffer when I have a manual for someone else. I have the drama. I think if I get mad about it that it solves it. But it does not. It just keeps me in pain and suffering.

I am missing out on my own party because I’m thinking about them. Loves, I’m going to say this, and this I just want you to hear this. Come back to me, this is really important. We cannot control anyone. Not anyone. Not one single person. The only thing I control is how I think about it. Let me say that again. The only thing that we control is the way that we think about it.

Byron Katie says, “When you argue with reality, you only lose but 100% of the time.” I can think about my family member any way I want to. So now, if they show up late or they do not come, I don’t make it mean anything about me or them. I just love them anyway. I don’t hold dinner for them. I don’t make extra. I just have dinner. And if they come, awesome. And if they don’t, awesome.

And I can feel disappointed. I can let that come in for like, 90 seconds, and then I can change the thought. I can move forward and have a great time. I have left the manual for them at the door and that keeps me from suffering and keeps me from having the drama.

When we have manuals for others, it just causes us drama and pain. Now, I know that you’re like, “Shannan, I’ll get walked all over.” So let’s talk about boundaries. Boundaries are consequences you set and then you follow through on. They are for you. They are clear requests with clear consequences, and most of the time, you don’t even have to tell the other person.

Because this is not about them. This is about your space and what you will allow and what consequences you will have. I find my clients struggle with this and mix boundaries with manuals. So let me give you an example. Your husband not taking out the trash, it’s a manual. You think he should, and so you have that manual for him.

Now, someone coming into my home and smoking, that would be a boundary for me. They’re coming into my space. So if someone came into my home and started smoking, I would kindly ask them to take it outside. That is my boundary. No drama. I make the request and that it is. The request is if you start smoking in my home, the consequence, then I will ask you to leave.

Now the important part with boundaries is if you have one, you must follow through with the consequence. So let’s go back to my family member who shows up late or sometimes does not even come. I have a boundary. We will wait 15 minutes. And if they’re later than that, we will start dinner. We will not wait more than 15 minutes.

It’s easy. I don’t have to make a big deal about it. I just told them, “Hey, if you’re more than 15 minutes late, we’re going to start dinner without you.” And the best part is I just get to love them. I don’t have to think that they did me wrong and all this drama. I get to think about all the amazing parts of them.

And when I think loving thoughts, then that is what I feel. I get to feel love. Instead of all the pain and the suffering of that they did me wrong and they were late and they don’t respect me, instead, I get to change the thought to all of the amazing things about them. And then I get to feel the love.

You can make requests, but if someone does not follow it, that is where the work is. Let’s go back to a husband taking out the trash. You can request it, but if he does not do it, you have the option to get mad, and then you are suffering, or you can do it and decide to think, “Wow, it took me five minutes and I got some fresh air.”

You get to decide what to think about it. When we have manuals for other people, we suffer. We suffer because we cause all of this drama in our heads around what they should or should not do. My husband gets to be himself. I do not have any expectations of him. He gets to show up as Paul and I just get to love him.

How cool is that? And guess what? I get to show up as Shannan. And that’s what I want too. We have all of these manuals for others and they could have all of these manuals for us, and we don’t like it when someone has a manual for us. We want the right. We want to show up as ourselves.

I mean, we don’t like it when someone else wants us to change, wants us to be different than who we are. Chucking our manuals for other people is really a gift for ourselves. We are all humans. We are all flawed and beautiful. And we get to just love the people in our lives no matter how they show up.

I want to say it again because I think it’s so important. We get to love the people in our lives no matter how they show up. Think about that. You get to love the people in your life without expectation that they should be any different than they are. Because love, we are all 100% lovable and love is always the best option, and that is where the magic lies.

So the transformation questions. What manuals or expectations do you have for the people closest to you? How would you benefit if you dropped the manuals? And you can also get a free worksheet to go along with this episode at bflycoaching.com/manual. Alright loves, so much love to you.

Loves, Jumpstart opens today for five days. If you want more information, come to one of my free trainings. You will learn about the three things that kept me stuck on the diet roller coaster and how I got off. You can register for the free training at bflycoaching.com/register. I hope you’ll join us. Bye for now, love.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #24: Why Diets Don’t Work

Why Diets Don't Work

I spent over 38 years stuck on the diet rollercoaster, and it got to a point where I wanted off for good. So many of the women I work with struggle with the vicious cycle of dieting, of focusing on the wrong thing, whether it’s calories or points, and not looking inward to what their body actually needs.

Eliminating whole food groups, all the meal plans, exercise plans, programs… I’ve tried them all, and I am so happy to say that I’ve finally ditched that life and couldn’t be happier. This is what I want for you too, loves. I know that for a lot of you, it’s more normal to be on a diet than not, just like I was, and it’s time to change this story to actually start losing weight successfully.

Join me this week as I show you why diets don’t work, and instead, what you can begin focusing on to start losing weight long-term, without the fluctuations and binging and restricting. Losing weight doesn’t have to make you feel crazy or frustrated all the time. You don’t even have to white-knuckle your way through it, and I’m showing you how.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. How many diets have you been on?
  2. Why do you believe that the diets you’ve tried don’t work?
  3. Why do you want something different for yourself now?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • The vicious cycle of dieting that I was caught in for so long. 
  • Why dieting was leaving me feeling crazy, hungry, and like a failure. 
  • How to successfully lose weight long-term.  


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 24.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves, welcome back to the show. I am so excited about spending some time with you ladies. So my grandbabies spent the night on Friday night. I mean, it is always super fun to spend some time with them. I mean, we took them to the movies and we made cookies when we got home.

My g-babies still amaze me. We made these chocolate chip cookies and they took a plate of them into their room and only ate less than a quarter of what was on their little plate. They just don’t overeat. They stop when they are full. It always amazes me how connected little kids are to their bodies. It’s just automatic for them.

I took them home on Saturday. It was completely raining on Saturday. Phoenix has had the craziest coldest weather this year. So it was raining and I didn’t want to leave the house so I did some stuff around the house, and then I started watching a documentary. I love learning, so I was like, hey, a new documentary’s out, let me watch it.

The documentary was on health, or so I thought. It was actually a commercial for another diet. They have this formula down. They start with all the doctors and studies. Then they add in a couple of people who started this diet and after 14 magical days, they were off all their medication. Then they tell you about how you can start eating a food group that was forbidden, like sugar.

Then of course, they completely eliminate a whole other food group. I was watching and it just astonished me that still, after all these years, we are still being promised a new diet plan that will change your life in 14 days and will magically work. It was just so eye-opening to me from where I sit today.

There was a time where I would have believed all of it and said, “Sign me up.” But today, I’m a critical thinker and I listen to my body. I pay attention to what feels good in it and what fuels it. I have become the scientist of my own body. Listen to episode number nine if you want to know how to become the scientist of your own body.

In today’s show, I’m going to talk about why diets don’t work. But first, I want to give a listener shout-out to Micky T. She wrote, “Shannan is very kind and I enjoy listening to her.” Thank you so much Micky. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave a review of the show. I read every single review. I just love them.

So diet, ladies, oh boy. That term has a lot of meaning for me. I dieted so long that dieting was more normal than not. I was always trying the next diet or next fad. I’ve tried everything from Atkins, calorie counting, Weight Watchers, all of the different meal plans, cabbage soup, pills, protein shakes, all of it.

Like, all the things. And I remember counting calories or points. That’s what I mostly did. I kept going back to it over and over again. I would decide I was only going to eat 1200 calories. I did not care what made up the 1200 calories. I was just going to stick to the 1200 calories.

I had no idea when I was hungry or full. I made a plan of food for the day of 1200 calories. I would pack my snacks and eat low-calorie food. I was also eating three meals and three snacks. I would be thinking all day about what I was eating and would be obsessing on why I could not eat like a normal person.

Why could I not have the donut? So much of the food was low-calorie, empty calories, and mostly came out of a box. It was not fueling me. So I felt crazy, hungry, and like a failure. I would really try to stick to the 1200 calories, but eventually, I just could not white-knuckle it any more. And I would eat over the 1200 calories.

Then I would continue to slip until I was binging on all the foods that I could not have while I was eating 1200 calories. I was so focused on the calories and sticking to a diet that I never checked in with my body. Diets don’t work because it is so focused on something outside of you. It is focused on the food and following some plan that someone made that does not know what you need for calories or what foods fuel your body.

We think if we could just get the right food plan, if someone could tell us the magical food plan, then we’d be able to stick to it. But loves, we have done this for so long. It feels comfortable to us to go on a diet. I mean, we have done it for 20, 30, 40, 50 years.

I was coaching one of my society members and she was a long-time Weight Watchers client. She had gone through Jumpstart and is now in the society, and she was struggling. She had the thought, “I’m going to quit the society and go back to Weight Watchers.” I was coaching her and I said, “You totally can. You can go back. And if that works for you, awesome.”

And then I asked, “But has it worked for you?” When I think of something that works, it works long-term. It is not something that you keep quitting and going back to, gaining and losing weight. She said no. She said, “It just feels comfortable.” She did not go back and has found so much success with the society.

She told the group the other day it finally clicked. Loves, our lizard brain is searching for comfort. It wants us to do what it’s always done. But if we want to change, we have to do something different. Diets don’t work because they keep us in the mental drama and obsession over some food or exercise plan that someone else has created for us.

What I believe and what has worked for my clients and myself is that you have to go inside. You have to reconnect with your body, learn what fuels it, and then deal with all the thoughts and belief systems that are keeping you overweight. It’s not a quick fix. It’s not the formula they use in the documentaries.

But loves, I believe it is the only way. I knew there was something different, that diets had kept me stuck on the diet rollercoaster for almost 38 years. I knew I had to stop dieting and learn to lose weight with love, kindness, and in a way that I could do forever. Because love, I wanted off the diet rollercoaster for good. And love, I want that for you too.

So here are some transformational questions so you can begin to coach yourself. Number one, how many diets have you been on? Number two, why do you believe that diets that you’ve tried don’t work? Number three, why do you want something different for yourself now? So good, loves.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Transform Boss Weight Loss

TRANSFORM BOSS FREE CHALLENGE!

The Transform Boss Free Challenge is BACK! Learn the tools Shannan still uses today – to get you off the diet roller coaster, for good. Register now for the 7-day challenge beginning July 10th!

This form collects information we will use to send you updates about promotions, special offers and news. We will not share or sell your personal information. You can unsubscribe at any time.