Ep #32: Accepting the Mess

Accepting the Mess

I think it’s fair to say that life isn’t going quite the way anyone had planned at the start of this year. This happens in so many areas of our life on a much smaller scale, where things get messy. But it’s how we handle the mess that determines our success.

When things go wrong, there is always a part of us that wants to think, “Things should be different.” This thought sounds harmless, but it could be keeping you stuck without you even realizing it. So, I want to talk today about why accepting the mess that comes your way will get you moving again.

Tune in this week as I share why I have decided to accept the mess in whatever form it comes, and how believing things should be different keeps us stuck. I have seen amazing results since I started accepting the mess, and this might just be the missing piece of your weight loss puzzle.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What thoughts or beliefs do you have around something being different than how it is? 
  2. How is this thought keeping you stuck? 
  3. What mess, AKA negative emotions, have you been resisting lately?
  4. How is the thought that, “Things should be different,” keeping you from losing weight? 

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • How believing things should be different keeps us stuck.
  • Why we believe things should be different.
  • How everything changes once you can accept reality.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 32.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, loves. Welcome back to the show today. I am super-excited for today’s show. I can’t believe we’re on episode number 32. I am so proud of this show. I’m so grateful to all of you ladies who inspire me. And, of course, for Pavel and Angela, who produce the show.

So, in today’s show, I want to talk about this one thought. And the thought is, “Things should be different.” And how it keeps us stuck. But, of course, before we get into the show, I want to give a listener shoutout to Diane M.

She wrote, “I have been looking for the word of how I’ve been feeling. You nailed it; heavy. I’ve had a heavy heart and mind. Thank you so much for this podcast. It’s just what I needed. Thank you, Shannan…” with a little heart.

Well, thank you so much, Diane. I love these reviews. I love that you ladies take the time to leave a review. So, if you haven’t, please do so and maybe you’ll hear your name on the show.

Oh, my ladies, I am going to share a story. So, I was on a video conference with my team. And in the middle of the meeting, I smelled bacon. And I told my team, “I think I smell bacon.” And it’s so weird and strange because I don’t have bacon in my house. And I knew my husband was still sleeping.

And then, a few minutes later, I started to hear a popping sound. I was trying to have this meeting but I kept smelling bacon and now there was this popping sound. So, I told my team, “Hold on.” And then, loves, I walked into the kitchen. Oh, my goodness, I walked into a mess.

So, let me back up. About 40 minutes earlier, I had a few minutes in between conference calls and I decided to boil some eggs. So, I put the eggs in the pan, turned it on a high heat, and went back into my office. And, loves, I forgot.

So, when I walked into my kitchen, the eggs had exploded, like little egg bombs all over my kitchen, all over my cabinets, my walls, my gas stove, my hood, the floor. There were little pieces of eggs and shells and burnt little pieces all over the place.

And then, as I walked in the kitchen, the fire alarm started going off. It was a little crazy. And the fire alarms did stop and my husband and I, we cleaned up the mess.

As I was cleaning up the mess, I was thinking about how, lately, I have felt kind of messy. Like, my feelings are all over the place. I go between, “Everything is okay, everything’s going to be okay,” to, “What if nothing will feel normal again.”

As humans, we ebb and flow between feeling messy to feeling good. And, loves, we resist the mess. We resist the negative emotion. We believe that something is wrong with us, something is wrong with the mess. We think things should be different; that our weight should be different, that our current situation should be different, that we should feel differently, that we should be happy, that what is happening in our country with the virus, that it should be different, that our husbands should be different, that our relationships should be different.

I could go on and on and on. We don’t want to deal with the mess, our negative feelings, and we for sure do not want to accept the mess.

When we resist what is, what is happening right now, we get stuck. We resist emotion. We push it down. And then, my loves, we eat. We carry extra weight on our bodies because we keep trying to push down the mess, also known as negative emotion.

When I walked in and I saw egg literally all over my kitchen, I had a moment of shock, a moment of, OMG. And then, I felt irritated as the fire alarms were going off. But I decided to feel the irritation all the way through, and then, I changed the thought to, “I guess I’m not going to have tuna salad today.”

And then I laughed. I literally laughed out loud. I accepted what had happened and I went into solution mode, opening all our doors, cleaning the mess, and next time, I’m going to set a timer.

I know that it is such a simple, a little bit exaggerated example. But I wanted to show you that we can process emotion. We can accept the mess and then move on.

If I would have been beating myself up for forgetting, I would have resisted the mess. I would have wasted time and energy resisting what was. There was nothing I could have done to change what had happened. It happened.

So, I just decided to feel the emotion and move on. We spend so much time looking backwards, beating ourselves up because we thought things should have been different. It sabotages our success and it keeps us stuck. It keeps us from losing weight.

The thought that things should be different, it shows up in many different forms, from weight, to relationships, to money, to children, to what’s happening in our country. We spend so much mind energy spinning on how it should be different without accepting how it is right now.

When I decided to stop dieting, I had to learn that nothing should be different. It just is. That I could accept the mess was always going to be there, that negative emotion was just part of this beautiful human experience.

When I accept where I am, when I take full ownership and accountability, when I’m in the moment, I choose better things for myself. I find that I’m not expecting that everything is perfect, rainbows, and daisies. I welcome the mess.

We are humans. We are messy, beautiful, amazing humans. So, what if we didn’t resist the mess? What if we knew that it was just part of it? What if the mess was the whole point; the reason? What if the mess was there to teach us, to guide us, to help us grow?

I now know, loves, that I need to set a timer when I boil eggs. Lesson number 2022. When we resist the mess, we stay stuck. We think things should be different than they are. “How do I know it was supposed to happen this way? Because it did.” It’s a quote from one of my favorites; Byron Katie.

So, here are some transformational questions. What thoughts or beliefs do you have around something being different than how it is? How is this thought keeping you stuck? What mess, AKA negative emotions, have you been resisting lately? And how is the thought that, “Things should be different,” keeping you from losing weight?

So good, my loves. Okay, loves, bye for now and tune in next week. Make sure that you subscribe so I’m just right in wherever you listen to podcasts every Wednesday morning. Alright, bye for now, loves.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #31: How Worry Keeps Us Stuck

How Worry Keeps Us StuckFor me, Easter has always been a time of big family gatherings and getting together with loved ones. 2020  has changed this tradition for my family, and I found myself in a cycle of constant worry, fearful about the future and what might be different when all of this is over. I know that some of you ladies might also be experiencing this, and today, I’m showing you how this emotion of worry isn’t serving you.

I have felt extremely heavy and exhausted this week, and through doing my daily reflection work, I’ve found that I’ve been stuck in a state of worry. Worrying about my clients, my family, about how things were changing, and about how I don’t have any control over any of it. Staying stuck here isn’t helping you take the actions you need to get the results you want, but there is a way out.

Listen in today as I show you what you do have control over, and why staying in worry is keeping you stuck. We are never promised anything other than the moment we have right now, and letting go of worry will help you move forward. I’m sharing my own discoveries of my experience of worry this week to show you that you too can find control and peace in uncertain times.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. How much of your time have you spent worrying?
  2. How have you personally been impacted? What do you like about it and what don’t you like about it?
  3. What are you sad, fearful, or angry about?
  4. What do you want to decide on purpose to think about how you’ve been impacted?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • What I’ve discovered about worry. 
  • Why worrying is a waste of time. 
  • How staying in a constant state of worry keeps you stuck. 


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 31.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves. Well, welcome back to the show. I am so excited that you ladies are here with me today. I am so excited for today’s show. Today is part five of the series I am doing on how to get through what is happening without losing yourself.

But as always, before we get into the show, I want to give a listener shout-out to Sonia. She wrote, “Excellent podcast. These topics truly turn on the lightbulb. Thank you.” Well, thank you so much, Sonia. I love this review. And I want to thank all the ladies who have taken the time to leave a review. I just really appreciate it. I love reading them.

So let’s get to today’s show. Every Easter, my mom would put on a big party. I mean, a big party. And cook for everyone. She would invite the entire family and some friends. And we would have what we would call the Brown Easter Races. And Brown is my maiden name.

So we would do the three-legged race, egg on a spoon, water balloon toss and so many different games. And of course, an Easter egg hunt. My family, they are a pretty competitive bunch, so every year, we would have a total blast. And of course, my mom was an amazing cook. So we had a ton of great food.

So I took over this tradition after my mom passed, and I continued the tradition and I loved it. It continued to morph every year and change, but Easter was always a big family gathering. Enter in 2020. This Easter was very different. No Easter races. I did not even cook my traditional dinner on Easter.

I did not see my grandbabies in person. Easter felt so different this year, and I am sure that it felt so different for many of you. As I record this podcast, Easter was this past Sunday. And I wanted to feel grateful and good about it, but honestly, loves, it felt weird, concerning, and I had a lot of worry about what would the future hold?

Was this the new normal? Mask, no in-person family events, working from home? I went to all the worst-case scenarios. Honestly loves, I have felt heavy this past week and I could not figure out why I was feeling so heavy. I would do my reflection work every day, and you know, try to put on the good face.

But honestly, I felt exhausted, even though I had more rest than I’ve had in many, many years. But then loves, I figured it out. I was in a constant state of worry. Worry about my day job, about my clients, about my family, about how things were changing, about how I did not have any control over any of it.

Worried about the news, worried about if everything was going to change, would I ever travel again? Would I ever go to a football game again? Could I get all the groceries I needed? Would my favorite small businesses survive this?

I had built so many worst-case scenarios in my head. Worry is an emotion that we feel. It is indulgent and from my experience, a waste of time. I was worried about all these things that have not happened yet. Things, that at the end of the day, I have no control over.

I just have control over how I adjust, how I think about them. I believe that I worry because I don’t want to feel the real feelings that I’m feeling like being sad about Easter, being fearful of the unknown. So I fill my head with worry about the future instead of feeling the feelings about what is happening right now.

I’ve watched my society ladies struggle with the same thoughts and worries. Loves, there is no normal and we are never promised anything but the moment we are in. Staying in a constant state of worry kept me from moving forward, kept me from acceptance of where I am, what is actually happening, what I actually control.

When I worry, I do nothing. I stay stuck. I am not my best self. To change this and move forward, I had to look at the truth of today. What has happened and then loves, come back to me and hear this. Decide on purpose what I want to think and believe about it.

Will there be new things that are created from this? Some things we will like and some things we will not. Things are always changing. In my lifetime, lots of things have changed and evolved. Some I like, some I don’t. We have had big life-changing things that have happened as a country since I’ve been alive.

This too is a moment in our history, and me worrying about the future does not change any of it. Worry is one of those emotions that just does not serve us because ladies, when we worry, we eat. We don’t make our plans and we’re standing in the kitchen, standing at the kitchen counter with a tub of ice cream, just eating to push down our feelings.

But there is a different way, loves. We can look at today, what has changed, what are the good things about it, what are the things we do not like, feel the sadness or fear, for the loss, and then move on. I don’t have to create mind chatter and worry about what will happen in three months or six months.

I can feel a feeling. I have never known for sure what was going to happen in the future, and I do not know today what will happen tomorrow. And loves, that has never changed.

So today’s transformational questions are worth your time, loves. Really sit down and answer these for yourself. Number one, how much of your time have you spent worrying about the future? Number two, how have you personally been impacted? What do you like about it and what don’t you like about it?

Number three, what are you sad, fearful, or angry about? Write it and then loves, feel the emotion of it. And now, number four, what do you want to decide on purpose to think about how you’ve been impacted? So good, loves. Next week I’m going to talk about something that prevents us from losing weight, and I can’t wait to talk about it, so bye for now, loves.

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #30: Fall in Love with Movement

Fall in Love with Movement

I’ve talked before on the podcast about how I managed to stop dieting by changing the way I approached food. I stopped following restrictive plans made by other people and started listening to my body instead. And it’s made a huge difference.

One thing I’ve never really discussed on the show, however, is exercise. Now, I have tried so many different ways to try to burn calories. But loves, that is not the right reason to move your body. Just like with food, if you follow somebody else’s exercise plan, you’re not going to fall in love with moving your body and you’re going to stay stuck on the diet rollercoaster.

Join me on the podcast this week to discover why finding a way to move your body that you love is way more important than just getting your steps in or trying the hot new workout. Especially now that we’re all stuck in the house, now is the best time to turn your focus towards your body and find out what works for you.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What types of movement does your body like?
  2. How can you move your body more throughout the day, not for losing calories, but to feel better?
  3. What have you thought of trying when it comes to moving your body, and can you try it this week?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why I decided to stop exercising, in the traditional sense.
  • The importance of exercise and movement feeling like love for you.
  • How to be more creative in terms of how you move your body throughout your day.


Listen to the Full Episode:


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Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 30.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, loves. Welcome back to today’s show. I am just so excited that you’re here today. I’m going to talk about something that I have not discussed before on my podcast, or even my Facebook lives. And then, of course, I’m going to leave you with a couple of transformational questions at the very end.

Today is part four of the series I’m doing on how to get through what is happening without losing yourself. But as always, before we get into the show, I want to give a listener shoutout. Today’s listener shoutout is to BeckyB101.

She wrote, “So grateful for these podcasts. Shannan is such an inspiration. I have learned so much from her. Thank you for your dedication to helping others.” Thank you so much, BeckyB101. I love this review. You ladies inspire me. I love all the reviews and they mean so much to me. If you love this show, please leave a review. I would so appreciate it. And one day, I’ll read your review on here.

As I record this, I am in week four of the coronavirus. So much has happened in the last four weeks. It feels like I’m starting to forget life before. I have been working from home now and pretty much been in my house, except for my daily walks or a few drives with my husband.

Although I am missing seeing people in person, hugging my G-babies, and seeing my family, I have really worked hard on being grateful for what I can learn and do through this time. I’m getting more rest than I have in maybe, I don’t know, 20-30 years. I’m slowing down more, taking my time. I am just grateful for this time and I want to look at it in that way.

I write every day what I’m grateful for in my reflection work and, loves, that list has been growing. I find, the more time I spend reflecting on everything I have, I’m less worried about the change or what I don’t have. I hope for all my loves that you spend some time thinking about all that you have, all the blessings in your life.

You, for sure, make my list every single day. And every day, I’m so grateful for all you ladies. If you’ve listened to me for a while, you know that I do not believe in diets in the traditional sense. You know, removing a food group, following someone else’s food plan, restriction and not listening to your own body.

When I decided, years ago, to stop dieting, it freed my mind up to look for something different, to find a different way. I knew that I had to change my beliefs around what I was fueling my body with. I had to change the way that I thought about food and lose weight with love, not punishment.

I also decided to stop exercising in the traditional sense. I was always looking for someone else to tell me how I should move my body. I read all the things, tried all the ways. I would start some new exercise routine, kill myself, not be able to move, and then quit, give up.

I would put all this emphasis on moving for the 30 or 60 minutes a day. I wasn’t thinking about the other 14 or 15 hours a day I was awake. I remember this time I decided I was going to become a runner. Yes, I had all the fantasies.

I bought the fancy shoes. I made a plan of how I was going to increase my distance each week. Then I wanted to do it in a faster time. I would get on the treadmill and push myself. I would hurt. My knees would hurt, but I was determined.

I did run a 5K. But honestly, it never felt like love for me. I never loved it. Now, I have friends who love it. They run marathons. They do all the things. And it feels like love for them. Ladies, just like food, we have to move our body and find what feels like love for us.

I don’t call it exercise. I call it movement. Our bodies love to move. We were made to move, not just 30 or 60 minutes a day. We were made to move all the time. And it’s important, during this time, this time of stress, change, uncertainty, fear that we move our bodies.

I think of movement as this thing I do all the time. When I’m sitting on conference calls all day, I stand up, I move my legs. I fidget in my seat. I stretch my arms.

Now that I’m home, I walk up and down my hallway and I go to the bathroom on the other side of the house. I have a dance party for one in my office. When I carry my groceries in from the front door, I do curls with my arms like they are weights. I’m trying to be creative in moving my body because I could just sit in this chair in my office on conference calls all day long.

Movement is not just a 30-minute experience in your day. It happens all day while you are awake. I have found things that feel like love to me. I love spinning, Pilates, walking. I love to lift weights. And my most favorite, I love dancing.

These are things, I have found, that I enjoy and feel like love to me. I also love to stretch my body. For many of us, we have had so many negative feelings around exercise. We believe we must exercise to lose weight.

I do not believe that you have to exercise to lose weight. Many people lose weight without exercising in the traditional sense. I no longer think about moving my body and losing weight. I move my body because it feels good. I walk because I love nature. And I love how I feel when I’m outside. I love what it does for my mental health.

I lift weights because I love to feel strong. I stretch because I love to feel flexible. None of this is about losing weight. I move because my body loves to move. And it feels good.

So, one of my besties – I mean, by bestie, I love her to pieces – she loves – I mean loves – yoga. She loves all the kinds and she’s amazing at it. So, I’ve done yoga with her and she is the most lovely human and she is so kind to me while I’m – I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t think it’s yoga, but whatever it is, she’s very kind to me about it.

But I don’t love yoga. I’ve tried it several, several, several times and it’s just not my jam. It’s not something that I love to do. I love the part at the end, you know, the one where you lay down and close your eyes, the reflection, the meditation part. I love that. But I don’t love all the other parts.

I had to figure out what works for me, what feels good? What do I like to do? My bestie, she loves it. And it feels like love to her. Changing your thoughts around movement is key to getting off the diet rollercoaster.

I see so many ladies say, “I hate exercise. I have to get my steps in today.” It feels heavy to them. If they don’t exercise, then they beat themselves up. This is because we’ve tied all of these negative thoughts to exercise.

We have tried exercise programs that we do not like and we end up quitting. But, loves, there is a different way to think about it. What if you could move your body every day throughout the day and feel good about it, feel love about it? What if you tried different ways to move your body until you found what works for you?

Only you know what feels like love to you and your body. Movement happens throughout your day. Your body was made to move. It loves to move. Trust me on this, loves.

So, here are some transformational questions to ask yourself. What types of movement does your body like? How can you move your body more throughout the day, not for losing calories, but to feel better? What have you thought of trying when it comes to moving your body, and can you try it this week?

So good, loves. Join me next week as we go into the fifth episode in this series. I’m going to talk about something that we’re all doing right now that is not serving us. So, bye for now, loves.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #29: How to Create Meaningful Connections

How to Create Meaningful ConnectionsOn today’s episode, I’m diving into one simple but very necessary thing that we all have to do, even though we’re practicing social distancing and staying at home: create connections.

Meaningful connections are important to us as humans at all times, pandemic or not, but in our current climate, it has never been more essential to our wellbeing. When we feel alone or disconnected, we often isolate and hide away, and for most of us, we buffer by eating. Leaving your lizard brain alone to spin out will always lead to you thinking about worst-case scenarios, and you’re not going to create the results you want from that place.

Join me this week as I show you why connection is so important, and how you have to think if you want to have results you love three or six months down the line from here. We all have a choice right now to think thoughts on purpose that serve us, and connecting with your loves ones are going to help you lean on them for support.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. Who can you video chat with right now and have a meaningful connection with?
  2. What do you do when you feel disconnected?
  3. What other ways can you feel a positive meaningful connection?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why connection is so important in this time of social distancing. 
  • What happens when we become disconnected.
  • How I’m keeping up meaningful connections during this time. 


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 29.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves. Well, welcome back. I’m just so blessed that I get to spend time with all you ladies, and I’m just so grateful that you’re listening. So today is part three of the series I’m doing on how to get through what is happening in this world without losing yourself.

In today’s show, I want to talk about one simple but necessary thing we must do even though we’re all socially distancing ourselves or we feel like we’re in quarantine. But before we get into the show, I want to give a listener shout-out to Sharon Spohn.

She wrote, “Shannan, this podcast for me is so relatable. I was married for over 20 years. It was a verbal and emotional rollercoaster. I went through so much pain. The only gift from that relationship is my three beautiful sons. Since joining the BFLY sisterhood, I have been able to put all my pain and suffering behind me. I can’t change my past. I can change my future. Thank you, Shannan.”

Oh Sharon, I love that review and I’m so happy that you’re listening. So ladies, if you are loving the show, please rate and review. Leave me a review. I love to read your reviews on the podcast.

As I record this, it has been three weeks since everything has changed. I sit here thinking it’s only been three weeks. It seems like months. So many things have happened over the last three weeks from stay-at-home orders, the number of cases rising, doubling, canceled schools, canceled vacations and trips, going to the grocery store, and they’re out of basic essentials.

It has felt surreal. My brain continues to go from the world is ending to this too shall pass. I have had all the emotions. If you did not listen to last week’s podcast, number two, go to bflycoaching.com/28. I talk about how to feel all the feelings of what is going on.

I was FaceTiming with my grandkids and having the best time watching them. They have been doing all kinds of things to keep busy, from dance parties to coloring parties to obstacle courses in the house. My oldest two are now doing online school from home, but before they started doing online school, my granddaughter’s teacher was making videos and sending them to parents, so her students could watch them.

I mean, it was super cute. These videos were to her students. She would tell a story, show a picture of her dog. My granddaughter loved them. Her teacher was trying to connect. She wanted to let her students know she was thinking about them. She wanted connection with them.

Connection is so important in this time of social distancing. When we feel alone, we buffer and for most of us, we eat. We feel disconnected so we eat. We do not want to feel disconnected and lonely, so we believe eating a cupcake will solve it. One way to get through this time is by having a meaningful connection each day. At least one, but as many as you can have.

I needed to FaceTime my grandkids. I wanted to see their faces and hear their voices. I wanted them to know how important they are to me and that I’m still here. I could not hug them, but I could blow kisses and tell them how much I love them. I could listen to them as they were telling me all sorts of stuff. And my Jaxie, she wanted to be on the phone the whole time.

I needed this connection with them as much as they needed it from me. When we become disconnected, we isolate, and then it can magnify feelings of sadness, depression, fear, and loneliness. We must have meaningful connection every day. We have to find ways of connecting with others, even though we are socially distanced.

I call my dad and I’ve noticed that he wants to talk just a little longer. He is missing him, as I am missing him. Connection is so important. I’m calling him more during this time to check in on him, to make sure that he knows I am here and I love him.

I’m not traveling either for work right now, and having meaningful connections with all my leaders every day is so important. Every time I call them, I turn on my videos. Every meeting we have, we have our video cameras on. Even though we’re not in the same room, it can feel like we are when I can see their face and hear their voice. I feel connected to them even though we are thousands of miles apart.

If we are left alone with our lizard brains, we can spin out. We can create all this drama about the worst-case scenarios. We can feel as if the world is ending right now. But love, it is not. I have been telling my ladies that this too shall pass, and in three to six months, how do you want to look back on this time and how you spent it?

I tell them to think about the best-case scenario more than they’re thinking about the worst-case scenario. We all have a choice right now in this moment to decide on purpose to make the most of today. To have a meaningful connection, even though it might be through a different channel than normal.

So every day, look for ways to connect with your friends and family. Look for ways to lift each other up. Don’t just spend time talking about all the things happening. All the things that we cannot control. Find ways to connect that are positive and fun.

I’ve seen so many amazing games and different things on social and Zoom parties and all kinds of ways to connect. Also, if you’re one of my Jumpstarters, then lean on your accountability teams and your BFLY sisterhood. They are there for you.

And if you’re a member of my Weight Loss for Successful Women private Facebook group, I am doing Lives every week and come join us. If you’re not a member yet, you can join and we’ll put the link in the show notes. So you can go to bflycoaching.com/29.

So today’s transformational questions are who can you video chat with right now and have a meaningful connection with? What do you do when you feel disconnected? And what other ways can you feel a positive meaningful connection?

Sending lots of love to all you ladies and next week, I’m going to talk about something I have never talked about on the podcast or any of my Facebook Lives. So I can’t wait to talk to you next week and we’ll talk soon, loves. Bye for now.

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #28: Feeling Your Feelings in a Crisis

Feeling Your Feelings in a Crisis

Welcome to part two of this series that I’m doing on how to get through this crisis right now without losing yourself. Loves, we’re seeing things that we have not ever experienced before in our lifetime, and so the chaos and frenzy that you might be feeling is inevitable. Trying to push away or avoid your feelings isn’t serving you, and so today, I’m showing you how to feel your feelings.

If you’ve been struggling with the desire to eat off-plan, just like I have, it’s important to start allowing your feelings to come to the surface. Letting them bubble and build up will only lead to actions you regret, and so this is what I’m diving into today.

Listen in this week to discover how to actually feel all the emotions in your body, and what the difference is between feeling and indulging a negative feeling. One is going to help you process and release the thought causing it, and the other will lead to you buffering or taking actions that you don’t want.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What feelings have you been pushing down?
  2. Have you been avoiding or resisting feelings?
  3. Are you buffering this week?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why feeling your feelings is so important. 
  • The difference between feeling a negative feeling and indulging in a negative feeling. 
  • How to start to feel your feelings. 
  • What buffering is. 


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 28.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves. Welcome back to the show. I am just so blessed that I get to spend some time with you ladies, and I am always so grateful that you’re listening. Today is part two of the series I’m doing on how to get through what is happening in our world without losing ourselves.

But before we get into the show, I want to give a listener shout-out to JFrog123. She wrote, “I really enjoy listening to this podcast. Shannan helps women understand how our thoughts cause our actions. In order to lose weight and keep it off for good, we need to understand how to listen to our bodies and put the diet mentality behind us. Since finding Shannan’s podcast and Facebook page, I feel empowered. For the first time, I truly believe I have the ability to reach and maintain a healthy weight.”

Thank you so much JFrog123. I love this review. So well put. I love all the reviews and they mean so much to me. So as this week has continued, honestly loves, it has felt crazy. Uncertain and sometimes like we’re in the middle of chaos.

We’re seeing things that we have not seen in our lifetimes, and it leaves us feeling like everything is out of control. So I’m doing a few extra things for my Jumpstarters this week and I was preparing for a Facebook Live on Saturday, and all of a sudden, loves, I felt so much emotion.

I felt this emotion bubble up and I started to cry. It was a release of all the feelings I had been feeling. I needed to feel those feelings. Pushing them down was just not an option. I wanted to keep telling myself that everything was going to be okay, that everything will be fine, that this too shall pass.

But loves, I needed to feel the negative emotion too. I needed to feel the fear of it. Feeling our feelings right now is so important because if we don’t, we’ll eat our way through this. I have had lots of urges this past week for things like cheesecake and Chunk cookies. Now ladies, if you live in Arizona, don’t listen because I’m going to tell you something.

In Arizona, there is a cookie delivery service that will deliver hot fresh baked chocolate chip cookies to your door. Yes, I do think it’s a little criminal. No I’m just kidding. It’s not. But seriously, I’ve had urges this week that I’ve not had because of the stress and emotions I have been feeling. I had to cry, feel the fear, and feel the uncomfortableness of not knowing.

We must feel the negative feelings right now, even though we don’t want to. We would rather eat a pan of Texas sheet cake or a warm chocolate cookie. I want to explain the difference between feeling a negative feeling and indulging in a negative feeling.

When we indulge in our feelings, we usually buffer. We start to think thoughts like, “The world is ending, I might as well eat this,” or, “I deserve the cupcake because of what I’m feeling.” Indulging and hanging out for long periods of time in negative emotions, it just does not help us. When we indulge in negative feelings for long periods of time, we’re just stuck in it. We feel bad. We feel out of control. And then loves, we eat.

Feeling a feeling is the way that I have found to help me move to a different feeling. So here is how to feel a feeling. First love, take a deep breath and then name the feeling. Is it frustration? Is it fear? Is it irritation? Is it anger? And then look for the thought that’s causing it.

And then love, just feel the feeling in your body. What does it feel like? How does it show up in your body? Is your face flush? Is your heart racing? Are your hands clenched? How does it feel in that body of yours? And then just allow all of those vibrations in your body. Be uncomfortable. Let it pass through your entire body and then just relax into it.

All while you’re focusing on your breath. Do this as many times as you need until you’re ready to release the thought causing the feeling. This practice will help you feel the feeling instead of trying to resist it or buffer. Buffering is when we overeat or we do something that has a negative consequence instead of just feeling our feelings.

Feelings, love, they last about 90 seconds. I know that you’re feeling a range of emotions during this time, but love, I got you. Make sure you join my private Facebook group, Weight Loss for Successful Women. I’m doing a bonus Facebook Live in it every week. So I’m doing two Facebook Lives every week in that group.

You can get the link to join in the show notes and you can find the show notes at bflycoaching.com/28. And also, if you’re one of my Jumpstarters and you’re listening, make sure that you come to the coaching calls. I am doing a bonus coaching call each week. We’re doing a book club. We’re doing tons of fun things, my Jumpstarters, so make sure that you’re watching that private Facebook page too.

So the transformational questions for the week are what feelings have you been pushing down? Have you been avoiding, resisting feelings? Or are you buffering this week? I do believe that this will pass and that we will be better because of it. Things will come out of this that will make us better. Humans are amazing.

We have a spirit that is tough, kind, gentle, and loving. So take a deep breath with me loves and next week, I’ll continue with part three of this series. And I’m just sending so much love to you and your families. Bye for now, love.

 

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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