Ep #87: Waiting Until It Is The Right Time To Lose Weight?

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into how to show up for yourself now and not waiting until the “right” time to lose weight. We have been on the diet roller coaster for so long we are so afraid of failing that we always put off even starting to show up for ourselves. We tell ourselves it’s too hard, we don’t have time, we’ll just fail. Just give me a food plan or an exercise plan. But haven’t we already tried that? Isn’t that why you are here, to find something different, a better way?

Listen is as I teach you a new way to get off the diet roller coaster for good. How to do the mindset work. We have all had these beliefs for so long, it’s just like a record player playing in the back of our brain. We try the latest fad diet or exercise plan and we might even lose some weight, but then something stressful happens, because we haven’t worked on our mind, we give up on ourselves. Lizzie tells us to go back into the cave, where it’s safe. I know it is not always easy, but I also know you are not scared of hard work. The only thing between you and your dreams and goals is your own brain. My dream is to help millions of women live their best life in a body they love. Let me help you achieve your dreams!

I challenge you today with these transformational questions. Take five minutes, pick one and just start writing.

  1. Where are you not showing up like you want to.
  2. What actions can you take right now to show up for you?
  3. What do you need to do to get off the diet roller coaster for good and live your best life in a body that you love?
  4. What are your dreams and how do you start working on them right now?

What You’ll Discover:

  • How to live your best life in a body you love
  • That the best day is today
  • How to not put yourself off even one more minute

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 87. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. I’m so happy to be back with you. I love today’s show because I had to redo this opening. I was going to record something else today, but I got into it and felt so passionate about what I was talking about in this episode. So you are not going to want to miss it. And I want to ask a favor of you. If you are loving the show, if you could leave a review, I would so appreciate it. It helps spread this amazing work to other women. You can leave a review, rate it and review wherever you listen, whatever app you listen to podcasts in, and also make sure that you subscribe to this show. This will make sure that every Wednesday an episode is sitting in your box.

All right my love. So love, it is such an amazing time right now. I’m in the middle of a five day challenge. I love the challenges. I love watching women start to learn this work, support each other, and show up for themselves. For some of these ladies, it’s the first time that they’ve shown up for themselves in a really long time. We have been on the diet rollercoaster for so long that we’re afraid to fail.

And for many women, and I did this for so long, we don’t even start. We tell ourselves it’s too hard. I don’t have time. I will just fail. You know, all the things. We tell ourselves that, you know, it’s too hard and just give me a food plan, give me an exercise plan. But my love we’ve tried that.

I mean, if you’ve been on the diet roller-coaster, you’ve done all the things. This is the crazy part about this work, when you learn it and start doing it, you actually will have more time. You’ll actually have more money. You will learn how to fail and not quit or give up because you start to learn that this is the way to lose weight for good.

You’ll start to feel better. You’ll start to have success. You know, right now Transform just opened as I record this. And you know, I can’t wait to welcome a whole group of ladies. And why I love it so much is I love when a woman decides that they matter and that they’re going to commit to themselves to change their weight loss story forever.

See my loves, to lose weight for good and get off the diet roller coaster, you have to do the mindset work. You can’t lose weight for good without it. And I know, and I know this to be true. I’ve worked with enough women, I mean so many women, and I’ve had my own experience, and the only way to get off the diet roller coaster for good is really to start to change your beliefs.

We have these, you know, beliefs that are just, you know, we have sets of belief systems and we’ve had them for so long that they’re just, you know, playing like record players in the back of our brains. And we try a new diet or a new exercise plan. We feel, you know, so motivated and then something happens and you know, you may lose some weight, but when something happens, like, you know life, you know, right. Things, things are always moving and changing. What happens is you don’t know what to do because you’ve been following some food plan.

So when you’re knee deep off the food plan and you’re eating cupcakes or pizza or all the things, you won’t know how to pull yourself back, because we’re just wired that way. We’re wired for comfort. Lizzie will start to pipe up and she’ll tell you to get back in the cave where it’s easier, where you are comfortable. Even if it’s not a full binge, you’ll slowly start to eat another handful of nuts, because maybe your partner or spouse just stressed you out or your kids. And you want a dopamine hit.

You want to feel better. And I tell you this love, because this work is the work of your life. This work will change you from the inside out. And I want this for every woman. Are you trying to do this by yourself love. Losing weight by yourself is such a lonely journey. You won’t have a community to pull you back in to inspire you, to remind you why you matter, and how you can do this. I watched my clients and my Transform Bosses and how they learned how to get off the diet rollercoaster. They are doing this deep work on themselves. They are getting coached, learning how to lose weight in a way that feels like love instead of punishment and restriction. And they show up imperfectly, which is the only perfect.

My dream is to help millions of women live their best life in a body they love. Hear that my love, your best life in the life that you have dreamed of. Love somewhere along the way w stopped dreaming. Somewhere in our twenties, we got busy with life, and then we forget about us. We put us on the back burner. And then in our thirties, maybe forties, we start delaying. We start really putting ourselves on the back burner because it has been so long since we’ve even thought of what we wanted. And then somewhere in our forties and fifties, we started thinking, I can’t wait until retirement because we have this belief that one day, somewhere in the future, our lives will be better.

And we start equating that to when we’re thinner our life will be better. When our job is different our life will be better. When our spouse or partner is different our life could be better. But I want to offer this to you my love. There is no better. The best day is today. I want to share a couple of stories that really impacted me early on. They changed the way I think about the future and putting myself off.

See, I love looking at my future self. I love thinking about the future, but I know that whatever I want in the future, I have to start taking action today. I learned this a long time ago, and I know that there is no “there.” There is no, when I lost the weight I’d be happier. Or when I got a new job, I’d be happier, because I really truly believe that life is 50/50. It’s amazing and wonderful. And it has pain and boredom and frustration and all the other things. And so every day that is how, you know, most of my days go and sometimes it’s 30/70, and sometimes it’s 70/30, but it all sort of balances out in the end.

So I want to share these stories with you because they really impacted me. And, you know, as I have done this work, I really see how they have kept me pushing myself to grow and to enjoy my days. So when I was a young leader, I worked for this leader and he was a great guy and he was getting ready for retirement.

And this was, you know, a couple of years before his retirement. And I mean, he talked about it. He could not wait, you know, I mean everything about it. He’s like, I’m going to do this when I retire, me and my wife are going to do that. And I just remember it so vividly. I mean, at the time I was, you know, in my, probably late twenties and I just remember he was just so excited. He was just going to live the life of his dreams when he retired and shortly after, so he retired and he was so excited and shortly after, less than a year after he retired, he passed away. And I tell you, it really impacted me because I remember thinking like, oh man, he was going to do all of these things. And then it hit me like, oh shoot, we’re not promised one more minute. Not one more day. Yet we keep putting our happiness and our joy and our dreams, we just keep putting them off until it’s the right time.

So I have this other story. I tell you, this story is, you know, a personal one with my grandparents, you know, my grandparents had this dream, you know, my granddad worked his whole life. And when he retired, they were going to buy an RV and they were going to travel the country. And you know, my grandmother always worked at home. She was a homemaker and you know, she was excited about it too. She couldn’t wait because he worked long hours, and they just couldn’t wait until, you know, he, you know, retired. And so my grandfather retired, they bought an RV and they started traveling the country. And then my love, my grandmother, she had a stroke in the RV, not six months after they started their journey.

She passed away shortly after. She was in her mid sixties. I know both of these stories. I mean, they break my heart, honestly. You know, losing my grandmother, watching my mother lose her mother. My mother was, you know, in her mid forties when she lost her mom and it was devastating to her. And you know, my grandfather, he was devastated. My grandfather lived for almost another over 30 years. And after my grandmother had passed and you know, it was just heartbreaking, my loves. And so I wanted to share these stories because they impacted in the way that I think about there, you know, the future.

I love the future. I love thinking I love dreaming, but I know that I’m not promised another minute and that I have to really live my best life today, because there is never a right time. And I tell you, we tell ourselves so often this is not the right time. I will start when life is easier, when it’s better, when things calm down, after our vacation, after the wedding, after my kids, you know, get out of school, after this, during the summer, during the winter. Oh, wait in the new year. I mean, you know my loves, we’re just constantly putting ourselves on the back burners. No matter where you are in your life, if you’re 30 or 65, I just want to challenge you to stop putting you off.

Stop believing it will be better when you retire, lose weight, have more money, have a different job, have a different life. There is no better moment than right now. I just want you to sit in this moment, see the joy and see the love. And then I want you to dream. And then my love, I want you to take some action on that dream.

Don’t put yourself off for one more moment. I know it’s not easy, but love, you are not scared of hard work. Look at how many times you’ve been on the floor, on your knees, and you’ve gotten back up because you are a boss, a warrior my love. I believe so strongly in this work because love, I struggled with my weight, shoot my own brain, my entire life. And now weight is the least important thing in my life. I’ve maintained my weight. I’ve learned how to feel my feelings, how to use my thinking brain instead of Lizzy. I have big dreams. I show up for myself. I serve others. I love hard. I fail. I make mistakes.

I doubt myself, Lizzie pipes up. But now I know how to live in this moment. How to love me. How to show up for me, because when I’m a better version of myself, it affects everyone around me, including my family, my clients, my loves, my team, and me.

 

I was actually going to record the five stages of weight loss today. but as I’m doing this, I just feel so passionately about this, showing up in this moment for yourself. Love, when are you going to stop putting you off? I’ll record the five stages next week, for sure my love. So this is what I know for sure. Living in a body that feels like a prison, doubting yourself, feeling like a failure of obsessing about food, what you should or should not be eating, putting off your dreams. Well love, that is not your purpose here. Your purpose, our purpose is to keep growing, pushing ourselves, loving ourselves, serving and loving the other humans and living an amazing life today. The only thing between you and your dreams and goals is your own brain.

I challenge you today with the transformational questions. Take five minutes, pick one and just start writing. Number one, where are you not showing up like you want to. Number two, What actions can you take right now to show up for you? Number three, What do you need to do to get off the diet roller coaster for good and live your best life in a body that you love? Number four, What are your dreams and how do you start working on them right now?

And if you need help implementing the tools I teach and you want support, coaching, and tools that can help you get off the diet roller coaster for good, then go to bflycoaching.com/join. So much love for you. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

Enjoy the Show?

Facebook Live 50: What to Do When You Start to Give Up

I’m very excited. I am doing a free five day challenge. It starts on Saturday the 22nd. You do not want to miss it. It is five days with me and I am going to go live every day and we’re going to have this super amazing party at the end. I mean, it’s virtual, but it will be a party for sure. It’s just a great way to immerse yourself in this content and learn the tools that I teach. And so you did not want to miss it. You must register by Saturday the 22nd at bflycoaching.com/mayfun. It is going to be super fun. I absolutely love the challenges.

Join me in this episode as I talk about something that has really been on my mind lately – how we give up on ourselves and many times don’t even start. We have all the excuses like we’re too busy. Let me help show you a better way to lose weight for good instead of using willpower and “white knuckling” it. And then beating ourselves up because we ate something we didn’t think we should or we “failed.” And then we just give up on ourselves and we quit, sometimes that being a just forget it and quitting before we even begin, or the slow process of quitting on ourselves – just one or two overeats, and then slowly going out of the program. I dive deep in this episode how you can have failures and still succeed! Yes, you heard me correctly.  I want to offer you a better way, a way where you can stop the cycle of I will start again tomorrow. Are you ready to end your struggle with weight for good?

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course, where I share my experience and the 3 tools that I used to get off the diet roller coaster. All you have to do is click here to learn more!

What You’ll Discover:

  • How to stop all the negotiations with yourself in order to lose weight
  • How being curious will help you to lose weight
  • That taking the next best action can keep you from giving up on yourself
  •  

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #86: What Freedom in Weight Loss Really Is

We are getting ready for some fun stuff in Transform. We are getting ready to do a five-day challenge. And you know, ladies, I love the five-day challenges. They are free. And this is how I like to do an immersive experience for free for ladies so they can get an introduction of this work. If you’re new to this work and you’ve never done a challenge, or I know we have lots of repeat challengers and some of my Transform ladies love to do them too – they just love the immersive experience – you can still register until May 22nd at bflycoaching.com/mayfun.

 

Are you an all or nothing kind of girl like I was? I mean that is how I labeled myself. I was either restricting or overeating, not much of that in between. And not just in dieting, but in other areas of my life too. Listen in to this episode as I teach you the difference between restriction and allowance. I will teach you what freedom really means. I will give you a tool to help you in your weight loss journey, one that will give you freedom. The freedom to choose what you want to eat, and how that really does help you to lose weight for good.  

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What are the consequences suffering that you’re living with right now because of how you think of your weight?
  2. What does allowance mean to you?
  3. What is the next best action that you can do to have more allowance and freedom in your life?

What You’ll Discover:

  • That food is not “good” or “bad,” it just is
  • How to break the diet brain mentality
  • How coming into awareness can keep you from rebelling

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 86. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love, so happy to be back with you. Episode 86. Ooh, I love today’s show. This was critical what I’m going to teach today for me to learn in my own weight loss journey, and I cannot wait to share it with you today. But first, as always, I want to give a listener shout out. This is where I’ll read a review of the podcast every week. And this week’s listener shout out is to museforyou1963.

She left a review on iTunes. I love listening to Shannan’s podcast, and the most recent one on quick fix!! In the past, this was my middle name. I tried everything and this kept me stuck on the rollercoaster. Shannan explains that it’s detrimental to be present with the process and living every inch of our imperfect roadmap. She reassures us it’s not always a straight line. This is where we can be intentional with our new thoughts, new habits, and make sure we keep our mind on our successes. This will help us navigate to our goals. I love listening to Shannan’s podcast as I learn a new a nugget each and every time to help me reach my goals. So much love Shannan.

Oh, so much love to you museforyou1963. I love the reviews. I do. I read everyone. I like scout out iTunes just so I can see if I have a new review. So I really appreciate them. And I just want to thank all the ladies who take the time to leave a review. It really does mean a lot to me.

So ladies, I am so excited. We are getting ready for some fun stuff in Transform. We are getting ready to do a five day challenge. And you know ladies, I love the five day challenges. They are free. And this is how I like to do an immersive experience for free for ladies so they can get an introduction of this work. If you’re new to this work and you’ve never done a challenge, or I know we have lots of repeat challengers and some of my Transform ladies love to do them too. They just love the immersive experience. You can still register until May 22nd at bflycoaching.com/mayfun. I just love watching ladies show up and learn this work. It is so life changing.

So I’ve had the best week. I mean, most of them are pretty amazing, but we went up north and I spent a couple of days resting and relaxing. It was so beautiful and Paul and I can not wait to go again. It really made me slow down. And when I came back I knew I needed to do some work on this. I did a little bit of, well, a lot of reflection while I was there. I have a pretty full life and I’m always going. So when I came back, I recommitted to rest and relaxation, putting it on my calendar. I took most of Sunday off to rest, spend time with Paul and just relax. It was so amazing. We also celebrated our little Punkin, Wyatt’s third birthday.

I can’t believe he’s three years old. He is so sweet. It was super fun having a little party for him. He is such a cutie. He’s kind of wise beyond his years. I don’t know, he is. He is so smart and just, I don’t know. He is, he’s just beautiful. He is goodness in a little body and you know, I just love all my grandbabies and my family. And I just always feel so blessed to have them around. It really is truly a blessing in this life for me.

So let’s get into today’s show. So my love, I was an all or nothing kind of girl. I mean, that is how I labeled myself. I was either restricting or overeating. There was not much of in between. I had been on diets for so long and just believed that I never could find sort of a middle ground. I thought this is who I was. It was not just dieting. It was many other areas of my life. Like money, relationships, movement. What would happen is I would tell myself, I should do this or should do that.

Then I would restrict, tell myself that I did not have the freedom, the freedom to choose. When I was eating foods that fueled my body I would think of it as restriction, as I could not have the foods I enjoy because I have labeled my food good or bad. So many of the foods I enjoyed were on the “bad list.” When I first work with my clients, I want them to make a realistic plan, a plan of what they’re going to eat, that’s realistic. I do this because I want to break the diet brain, the brain that tells us when we eat food that fuels us it’s restriction. And when we eat the bad foods, it’s freedom. Yes. What did I just say? Now, come back to me if I lost you.

When we eat food that feels good it’s restriction, and when we eat “bad foods” it’s freedom. We believe that freedom comes from eating all the things. But I want to challenge that thought because it is a Lizzy thought, a thought that comes in when Lizzie wants a dopamine hit. Because when you carry extra weight, when you feel sluggish because you overate, when you can’t get on the floor and play with your kids or grandkids, when you can’t wear the clothes you want. I mean, when you can’t put whatever that is in there for you, I could go on and on, my love, that is restriction. See, it’s just a lie that we tell ourselves, that freedom is eating all the things.

But it’s not. It is actually a prison of weight that you live in. I know because I lived in it for 38 years. It keeps you restricted by not living your best life, the life of your dreams in a body that you love. We often think I can’t have that, and when that happens, Lizzie she wants to rebel. We all have this rebel inside of us.

And when we think of restriction we want to rebel, but the person we’re rebelling against is us. It’s not our mothers, the diet industry, our partners, the person who called us fat when we were 12. We are rebelling against ourselves, because when we carry extra weight, live in bodies that feel like prisons, we suffer, so we are rebelling against ourselves.

We are causing our suffering. This is so important to understand where you’re starting from and the thoughts that are going around in your brain, that then you’re acting from. I think of my grandbaby, and if I tell her no she will want to do it more, maybe not in that moment, but she’ll secretly do it behind me  sometimes. I think of this with markers I have in my office.

I will tell her no, not right now. Then I will come back later and see that she’s drawn all over my easel. See our brains are wired that way. When we say no, we want to rebel. But the crazy part is that we pay the consequences, the long-term consequences for these short-term decisions. These short-term, I’m going to eat the extra thing that’s not on my plan. These short-term decisions have very long-term consequences. See the long-term consequences for my grandbaby is now the markers are up and I don’t let her draw on my easel for a bit. So my love, you can restrict, or you can allow.

So I want to talk about allowance, allowing yourself the freedom to choose what goes into your body, the allowance to not name food good or bad, but just food that fuels you or it doesn’t. I have all the foods in my realistic plan. I allow them. Now you may be thinking, if I allow I will go off the deep end and I’ll eat all the things. And at first, when you’re learning this process, I see this with my Transform bosses, it may happen. You may eat more than you want, but the more that you allow and choose what you want to fuel your body, the more you will lose weight and lose it for good. This is the process because you will start to rebel less. You will start knowing that the real freedom is when you live in a body that feels good, that has energy.

I was talking to one of my mentors, Deb, today and she was talking about how when she used to rebel, it was like an all out binge fest. But as she’s gone through this work and doing it, now if she starts to have an overeat she knows the triggers. She sees them. And it will be a small bag of chips rather than, you know, bags of chips and pretzels and snacks. I mean, you know ladies, the whole thing. And I know this in my own work too, I would go on full on binge fest for days, weeks, months. And now if I have an overeat, I can quickly take the next best action.

I think we believe that we just want to be fixed that we don’t want Lizzie thoughts, but my love, we are humans. We have Lizzie brains and those thoughts will come in. But through this work, through the process that I teach, you will know what to do. You will know how to handle it so you can lose weight for good and get off the diet roller, because our brains they have faulty thoughts, thoughts that are not true.

Like I can’t have this, because my love, you can always have it. You can always eat it. It is just a lie that we tell ourselves so that we can disconnect overeat and buffer with food. My love, you are not off or on, you just are. Food is not good or bad. It just is. Freedom is living in a body that you love, that has energy and feels good. Freedom is not eating all the things.

So to summarize, allow yourself to choose what you want to eat by making your realistic plan realistic. Tell yourself the truth about freedom versus restriction. When you want to start to rebel, come into awareness and tell yourself what the truth is, that you are in control and you’re choosing whatever it is. Remind yourself that rebellion causes your suffering and allow yourself time in the process.

When you start learning how to break your diet brain, allowing yourself to choose what to eat, Lizzie will pipe up. She’ll pipe up with all sorts of lies. But my love, just keep telling yourself the truth. Write it every day. One of the thoughts I love to practice is I choose what to eat and real freedom is living in a body that feels good, and that is freedom.

So the transformational questions are one, What are the consequences suffering that you’re living with right now because of how you think of your weight? Number two, What does allowance mean to you? Number three, What is the next best action that you can do to have more allowance and freedom in your life?

Ooh, so good my love. And if you need help implementing the tools that I teach and going deeper on this work, I invite you to join Transform Weight Loss Program. This program is based on three elements: coaching, community, and a weight loss course. This program will help you implement the tools so that you can live your best life in a body that you love. Go to bflycoaching.com/join to learn more. So much love. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of weight loss for successful women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

Enjoy the Show?

Facebook Live 49: The Scale and What the “Number” Really Means

Join me in today’s episode as we talk about the number and the scale. I have been obsessed with “the number” for most of my life. I think I was 8 years old when I knew I was different, that I was carrying extra weight. Most of my ladies have this number in their heads, maybe it’s what they used to weigh when they were 20. And this is just not realistic. Because we then end up defining ourselves by the number on the scale. You cannot beat yourself up to lose weight, it just never works. I will teach you how to look at that number as neutral and to start to begin to love yourself and talk to yourself with kindness. I will show you simple steps you can take to turn those negative obsessive thoughts around and gently replace them with more neutral thoughts, something that you can believe. That the number on the scale means nothing about you. You are beautiful! 

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course, where I share my experience and the 3 tools that I used to get off the diet roller coaster. All you have to do is click here to learn more!

What You’ll Discover:

  • That the “number” does not define you, it has nothing to do with who you are
  • That the number on the scale is just data
  • That where you are right now is exactly where are you supposed to be – exactly the perfect place

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #85: How Taking Action On Your Weight Loss Goals Really Feels

We are at episode 85. Can you even believe it? We are only 15 episodes away from 100 and we’re going to do something pretty special for episode 100. You will not want to miss it. In this episode we are talking about action and how it shows up in our weight loss journey.  First, let me share with you this story about when I hired a personal trainer. It was about 14 years ago. She was super fit and nice. I showed up for the first session, and she measured me, gave me an exercise plan and a very strict, clean diet. At first I was very motivated. But you know how the story goes, after a few sessions, I just eventually quit, because I had not eaten as instructed, or not done all the exercises, and feeling guilty and shame. I had lost my “motivation.” But I learned I did not quit on her, I quit on me!

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into how to stop looking for that “motivation” and how to learn to keep commitments to yourself, which lead to success. Just by changing your thoughts, your mindset, around your weight, food, yourself in general, you are starting to show up for yourself and you are keeping commitments to yourself.   Do not let your lizard brain, aka Lizzie, pull you back into the cave. When you come to terms that you will most likely never have the motivation to do things that you’ll not want to do it, and then you do it anyways, that is where the magic lives.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What are the one to two actions you’re going to take to show up and honor your commitment to yourself?
  2. What is the mind chatter, excuses, thoughts that Lizzie will serve up to keep you from doing it?
  3. What is the next best action that you will take right now for your future self?

What You’ll Discover:

  • How to talk to yourself more than you listen to yourself
  • How taking the next best action will lead to weight loss
  • How you can become the unstoppable boss you were always meant to be

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 85. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Episode 85. Can you even believe it? We are only 15 episodes away from 100 and we’re going to do something pretty special for episode 100. You will not want to miss it. On today’s show, let’s talk about action and how it shows up in our weight loss journey. Ooh, it’s going to be good my love.

But first, I want to give a listener shout out. This is where I read a review of the podcast. This week’s listener shout out is to Okima Livingston. She left a review on bflycoaching.com/podcast. Okima wrote, I love the information that was given today. What clicked with me is setting yourself up for success. I keep telling myself my why and my thinking will be successful. Oh, thank you so much Okima. I love that. Your why. Oh, my loves. It really will help you in those moments when you want to give up. So knowing why you want to lose weight, why you want to live in a body that feels like freedom is so important. And if you love this show, I would so appreciate a rating and review. It does help other women help find the show. So, you know, leave a rating and review. I would so appreciate it.

So as I record this, it is a beautiful Saturday here in Arizona. I love Saturday mornings. I have a routine every morning and today I also allowed myself time, allowed myself time to take it slow, to not rush, and it felt so good. I went on a beautiful walk and I brought along my Transform ladies. I love to go live and take them on my walks. We’re rolling out some fun, new stuff in Transform, and I could not wait to tell them. As I record this it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow, and I wanted to wish them a Happy Mother’s Day.

And you know, I have to say loves, you know, and I know by the time you have listened to this, Mother’s Day will be over, but I think as ladies, we have all sorts of thoughts on Mother’s Day. I know for some of you, it is difficult. I know some of us we’ve lost our mothers. Some of us have difficult relationships with our mothers.

Some of us are mothers and maybe we have difficult relationships with our children. And some of us, it’s just an amazing, beautiful day. And wherever you’re at with this, my love, I just say, have some grace, some kindness, some love for yourselves. It is so important. I think we underestimate just loving ourselves and having some grace and allowing us to be a human imperfect.

So we are leaving tomorrow for Sedona and I have been waiting for this trip and had lots of anticipation and excitement because I am really gonna unplug. My husband and I we’re going up there, you know, there’s no internet, no TV. We’re going to read books and walk and hike and, you know, sit outside in nature and just absolutely enjoy the time.

And so I, you know, really think it’s so important my loves, that we take time to, you know, reenergize, to disconnect. I think about how connected we all are, and how our phones are always in our hands. I mean, I am super guilty of this, and you know, I think these times I can already anticipate, you know, that, you know, when I come back, I will, you know, want to be unplugged more. And so I, even today I’ve committed to myself, and I do this often, especially on weekends and nights where I just make a conscious decision to disconnect and, you know, put my phone down and leave it down because it really does help us feel peaceful.

It helps us connect with ourselves, and, you know, being connected all the time is just, you know, it’s a really, it is hard for our brains just taking in that information all of the time. It affects our sleep. And I think it overall affects our happiness level. So I wish for all of you to put in some sort of routine where you disconnect.

So let’s get into today’s show. I want to share this story of when I hired a personal trainer. And this was about 14 years ago. I was losing weight and I wanted to up my game. So I hired a personal trainer. She was super fit. She was very nice. And I showed up to our first session. You know, she measured me. You know, I had a lot of shame about that. We talked about my many failed attempts at weight loss and exercise routines. And she also gave me kind of this exercise plan. She gave me a very strict, very clean diet plan. I was going to meet with her two times per week.

So after we went through everything, you know, had our consultation, we then went to the mat. She took me through an excruciating workout, but I was pumped. Even though I had all kinds of shame, embarrassment of working out in the gym, I was motivated. And I kept thinking like, Oh, I just want to look like her. I want to like have this fit body.

I was probably a little over 200 pounds at the time. So I went home. I was feeling great. I mean, my body hurt, but I was feeling pretty good. Then came my next appointment with her. I had not been totally eating what she had instructed me to do or done all the exercises. So I started feeling guilty. Then all these thoughts about how embarrassing the gym was, but I muscled up enough courage to go in again

I made it through the workout. It was crazy hard. And I knew I’d be sore for days. I did this whole routine with her for a couple of weeks, but my thoughts were not good. I did not want to do it. I felt so much shame. It was overwhelming.

And I was losing my “motivation.” So I ended up canceling one of our appointments and then I had all the guilt and shame about canceling. And so then I just ended up quitting. But love, I didn’t quit on her. I quit on myself. I had so much self-loathing shame about my weight, and to top it off, I thought I needed to be motivated.

I thought it would get easier. I wanted all the thoughts about not liking it about the uncomfortableness of the gym environment, the pain of being physically tired and my muscles hurting to go away. I wanted it to be easy. I thought that over time it would get easier and that I would magically want to go to the gym, pay attention to what I was eating, fueling my body, instead of eating all the things. I thought it would just get easier. But love, that is not how we’re wired. When we take action on our goals and dreams, it does not feel good. Mostly. I know I wish we were wired different, but we’re not. The process of losing weight and keeping commitments to yourself, it is hard.

It brings up all the emotions from overwhelm, frustration, guilt, and shame. See, even today, my Lizzie will tell me to go back to bed to not do the things I committed to. She always has a voice, but I just don’t listen. I take the action that I committed to. I tell her myself that I’m going to do it.

And I think about the next one step that I must do. Maybe it’s putting on my walking clothes or making my realistic plan. I don’t think of all the things, just the next best action. I ask myself, how will you feel when you take the next best action? I think of that, feeling that feeling of accomplishment, of keeping the commitment to myself.

That is how I talk to myself. I love this quote from this iron man. He said, I talk to myself more than I listen to myself. And I love that because that is the key. See, commitment is such a powerful emotion. When we decide to honor ourselves, by honoring our commitments to ourselves, we take the action that serves our future self.

Even though in the moment, every thought is about going back into the cave or bed or the pantry. See one of the things that I love about Transform, because I think this is a really important part as you’re doing this work and you’re changing your thoughts and you’re starting to show up for yourself, you’re starting to keep commitments to yourself, this is why the community aspect is so important. Because love, our own lizard brains will always try to pull us back into the cave.

But when you have a community of women and you’re starting to backslide and they hold you accountable, and they, you know, inspire you, or they, you know, or you get coached or you just post in a community that you’re struggling, it is such an important part of this process. Because love, losing weight and being on this journey, I know it’s felt so lonely for so many of you and it was for me too. And so starting this work and starting to take the next best action, starting to keep the commitment to myself, it is, you know, it can be difficult at first. And having that community to pull you back in is such an important part of the process of losing weight for good.

And when you, you know, I want to talk about motivation because love, when you come to terms that you will most likely never have the motivation to do things that you’ll not want to do it, and then you do it anyways, well love, that is where the magic lives. This is where you will start honoring your commitments, even though in the moment you don’t want to.

This is how you build resilience, trust in yourself and ultimately become the unstoppable boss you were always meant to be, because love, when you take the next best action, even though you do not want to, you become unstoppable.

So the transformational questions are number one, What are the one to two actions you’re going to take to show up and honor your commitment to yourself? Number two, What is the mind chatter, excuses, thoughts that Lizzie will serve up to keep you from doing it? And number three, What is the next best action that you will take right now for your future self?

So good, my love. And if you need help implementing the tools that I teach and go deeper on this work, and you want a community, I invite you to join Transform Weight Loss Program. This program is based on three elements: coaching, community, and a weight loss course. This program will help you implement the tools so you can live your best life in a body you love. Go to bflycoaching.com/join to learn more. So much love. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

Enjoy the Show?

Facebook Live 48: The 4 Fundamentals to Lose Weight for Good

First off, I have to tell you that Transform will be opening up again for open enrollment to the public, and that date is May 24th. We will also be starting a 5-day challenge on May 22nd leading up to that.  And I will be bringing some really cool things that I have not done before. I hope you will join us!

Join me in this episode as I talk about my four fundamentals. I have four fundamentals in my process that I teach, and I think that these are really the basics, they are the foundation. I call them the fundamentals because I think of them as the foundation to the process, and you know, all my ladies who are in Transform, they continually build upon that foundation. Listen in as I dive deep into these four fundamentals and how they can get you off the diet roller coaster for good. These fundamentals go right along with my Cheat Code, and will teach you to live in a body that you love and you will learn how to lose weight for the last time. 

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course, where I share my experience and the 3 tools that I used to get off the diet roller coaster. All you have to do is click here to learn more!

What You’ll Discover:

  • How Reflection work is different from journaling
  • How planning can lead to us using the prefontal cortex part of our brain, rather than being that “robot” mode of our automatic brain for 90-95% of the day – using the realistic plan
  • How becoming the scientist of your own body and finding the foods that fuel you will lead to success
  • That being tired and dehydrated is a just a trigger to overeat

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #84: Quick Fixes – Why They Don’t Work for Long-Term Weight Loss

In this episode I am talking about quick fixes and why they don’t work.  I have had a lifetime of them, almost 38 years to be exact. I would look for a diet or exercise plan. I would tell myself, just be good for a few months then you’ll lose your weight, and then everything will be okay. I even went to one of those places that had the packaged foods, you ladies know what I’m talking about. I had this idea if I just ate the food they gave me I would lose all the weight. But the food was not good. I think I ate the desserts and threw the rest away. See quick fixes, they focus on the outside, the food, the exercise, whatever it is. But what happens when you don’t like the food, or don’t stick to the exercise plan? You give up.

Join me as I dive deep into why losing weight is a long-term inside job. I will teach you how to lose weight for good and how to be patient with the process, giving yourself love and grace throughout the whole process.  In Transform, we have a motto. Every pound is the last time. It is the last time you’ll have to lose that pound because my Transform bosses are learning how to change from the inside out. Transform is opening May 24th. Mark it down on your calendar. For five days only. Go to bflycoaching.com/join to get on the wait list. You’ll be the first to know all of the information.

Yes, we are opening Transform for five days on May 24th. And I want to leave you with one very powerful transformational question.

  1. If it took you two years, three years to lose your weight, but it was for good, get completely off the diet roller coaster, where what you want live in a body that feels like freedom, where weight struggle was in your rear view mirror, if it was the last time you had to lose it would you be all in?

You can now text me! I’ve rolled this out in my Transform program, and all the ladies are loving it, so I wanted to let you in on it too. Once or twice a week, I’ll send you an inspirational tip or reminder to keep you going, so text 480-605-3506 and I can’t wait to hear from you!

What You’ll Discover:

  • How losing weight is an inside job
  • Don’t give the problem a year and the solution a week
  • That the fear is there and it has a voice, but it doesn’t get a vote

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women with Shannan Christiansen episode number 84. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. I of course am delighted and excited about today’s show. On today’s show I’m going to dive into quick fixes and why they don’t work in your weight loss journey. But first, as always, I want to give a listener shout out. This is where I’ll read a review of the podcast every week. And this week’s listener shout out is to Sharon Spohn. She left the review on iTunes. Shannan, I love the cheat codes to weight loss. I never thought planning meals would be a component to my success. Joining Transform and learning the tools and brain hacks has made all the difference in my transformation. Writing my realistic plan every day has taken the drama out of what I’m going to eat, which leads me to losing weight for good. I’m in a body I love and living my best life. Thank you to Shannan and all the beautiful ladies of the Transform community.

Oh Sharon. I mean Sharon is kind of a rock star. She’s lost 121 pounds, and you know, she’s been in maintenance now, I don’t know, I mean, she’s been in maintenance since September, October of 2020. Amazing. I mean, that’s the power of this work my Love, the power of this work. If you love the show, I would so appreciate a rating and review. You can leave it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Love, I am getting so excited. Paul and I are going to Sedona for a few days very soon. And we’re going with no phones, no internet. We have a cabin and we are going to rest, relax, read books. I have a whole stack that I’m bringing with. I cannot wait to disconnect, to hike and just spend some time in nature. And I was thinking about this because I love this time before we leave, thinking about it, planning for it, the anticipation of it, thinking of the drive up there, sitting on the patio in the woods by a creek. I love the before the goal as much as the goal. So let me say that again. I love the before the goal as much as reaching or hitting the goal. Loving the anticipation, the process is all part of the journey.

I think about this in weight loss, loving the hard work, the growth, the learning. Lloving the simple things like making my realistic plan. When I was losing my weight, I would think about hitting my goal weight, but I loved sitting in the “now” of the process. This is so important. While you’re working on a goal, waiting on a vacation, or maybe something like a wedding, don’t forget to enjoy the process, the hard work, the planning. It can be some of the best parts. Because love, once you hit your goal, go on the vacation or whatever it is, it goes by quickly and learning to enjoy all of it just enhances your daily pleasure and joy in life. So do not forget to enjoy the journey. I think we were all told that a long time ago, but it is so true my love.

So onto today’s show. Oh my love, quick fixes. I have had a lifetime of them, almost 38 years to be exact. I would look for a diet or exercise plan. I would tell myself, just be good for a few months then you’ll lose your weight, and then everything will be okay. I was thinking about this time when I went to one of those packaged food places, you ladies know what I’m talking about. I had this idea that if I just ate the food they gave me I could lose the weight. So I made the appointment, I went in, and I left with hundreds of dollars worth of their packaged food. I felt excited. It was enticing. I mean, I had pancakes, some little desserts. I thought I can do this. There was even pizza.

Then I got home. I unpacked all of it. I was still very excited. I heated one of them up in the microwave and it didn’t taste that good. It really didn’t. It was unfulfilling. It was frozen meals and some not frozen, which is even a little more strange to me. And I had this thought I can not live on this.

I could not just eat this food for six months to a year. So I ate the desserts and ended up throwing out most of it. See, quick fixes, they focus on the outside, the food, the exercise, whatever it is. But what happens when you don’t like the food or you get tired of eating “bird food?” What happens when you have a stressful day or when someone brings you donuts?

Then what? See love, losing weight long-term is an inside job. This is what Transform is. This is what I specialize in, long-term weight loss. How many times have you lost weight only to gain it back or sometimes even more than what you started with? We live in a world of quick fixes, temporary highs. I think of social media, TV shows all the things are quick, and they give you a quick hit of dopamine.

Shoot. I mean, Tik Tok is like 15 second videos. You can get lost in those. But love, it never lasts. Because you have a bad day, a stressful event, and if you have not learned how to feel your feelings without buffering, then what happens love? You’re knee deep in the pantry. Maybe it’s trail mix or a bag of chips or a bag of cookies, but you’re eating more than you wanted. You’re eating past full. And if you haven’t learned how to reconnect to your body, how to feel hunger, how to feel feelings, how to plan, how to become aware, then my love, you are stuck on the diet roller coaster.

I was listening to John Acuff, he is a published author and he’s written several books. He said something that really resonated with me. Don’t give the problem a year and the solution a week. I just want to say it again love, because it’s so good. Don’t give the problem a year and the solution a week. We have been overweight for years. Maybe you’ve been overweight your whole life, but we expect it to work in a week.

We want to flip a switch and be cured. Now I want to tell, because a lot of my Transform ladies listen to this podcast and I’m actually going to announce it to them tonight, but we’re doing a book club in June and we’re doing one of John’s books because I think he’s a fantastic writer. And he has a couple books that are amazing.

And that’s going to be our book club in June. So my loves, so fun and exciting. So love, everything in my life that is amazing and wonderful has taken years, many years. Meeting my husband, developing the relationship we have today, losing my weight, building my career, building Transform. Learning the process I teach in Transform it takes time, grace, failure. But love, it is the only way to lose weight for good. See, what happens for most of us, I mean I did this, we start a diet. We lose weight or we don’t. But eventually stress happens, life happens. Then we stop showing up for ourselves. We give ourselves all kinds of reasons why it doesn’t matter anyway, and then we quit. We give up. Then we start this cycle over and over and over again.

In Transform, we have a motto. Every pound is the last time. It is the last time you’ll have to lose that pound, because my Transform bosses are learning how to change from the inside out. I want to talk about fear for a moment because John said something that really resonated with me too.

He said, fear is there and it has a voice, but it doesn’t get a vote. The wedding, the event, work, or people will think I’m fat. People will think I’m not good enough. I need to lose this weight right now. I can’t find my partner, my future partner until I lose weight. I can’t go for that job until I lose my weight. I’m scared I will fail again. So I don’t even show up and I don’t even try. I know my love, fear will be there, but don’t give it a vote.

We are opening Transform for five days on May 24th. And I want to leave you with one very powerful transformational question. If it took you two years, three years to lose your weight, but it was for good, get completely off the diet roller coaster, wear what you want, live in a body that feels like freedom, where weight struggle was in your rear view mirror, it was the last time you had to lose it, would you be all in?

Oh love, Transform is opening May 24th. Mark it down on your calendar. For five days only. Go to bflycoaching.com/join to get on the wait list. You’ll be the first to know all of the information. And of course, we’re going to do an amazing 5-day challenge to kick it off.  Bye for now love.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

Enjoy the Show?

Facebook Live 47: The Capacity for Love

Tonight I am talking about a really deep topic that we’re going to go through today. And I just want you to listen to this and then you’re going to listen to it again, because the topic is just so deep. And I love this topic and you know, it’s just one that you just have to keep hearing it over and over again, until you can start to change your thoughts around it, to be honest. So everyone on this planet, we are humans and we all have the capacity to give or to receive love. So in thinking about capacity, think of a thermometer there is 100. Let’s just say we as humans have this thermometer. Each person has this capacity, or degree. Some may have 40%, some 80%, or 100%. Why this is important is that some people have the capacity to receive love and some have the capacity to give love, and some people’s ability to give or receive love might be limited due to life experiences. This is important because it doesn’t have anything to do with how that person feels about us. They might love us, and just not be able to show it. And this is important. Because we are 100% loveable! However someone else shows their love to you, their capacity to show love has nothing to do with you.

Join me tonight as I dive in and really explore how other’s actions toward us mean nothing about us, how it is just our thoughts about it, and how we can change our own thoughts about it. No beating yourself up thinking “if only I was this way, they would love me more.” We have to look at our capacity – to give and receive love, and most importantly ask ourselves how we are showing ourselves love. See how everything comes back to you? You have to watch your lizard brain, Lizzie I call mine, for all these faulty, poisonous thoughts that just lead us to believing something is wrong with us, that we are not worthy or loveable. But, always remember you are 100% worthy and loveable!

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course, where I share my experience and the 3 tools that I used to get off the diet roller coaster. All you have to do is click here to learn more!

What You’ll Discover:

  • That someone else’s capacity to give or show love for us means nothing about us
  • How changing our own thoughts can change our own feelings
  • That you are 100% worthy and loveable

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?