Ep #92: What I learned from Jon Acuff

How many times have you started a diet saying to yourself you were going to do everything perfectly?

Perfect is just a lie we tell ourselves. It just keeps us stuck on the diet roller coaster.

We are doing a book club this month in Transform – Finish by Jon Acuff. He has a quote: “The day after perfect is the most important day” – Learning to fail. Failure has led to my success.  Life is not perfect.

You can have freedom in food. How to have allowance.  Restriction keeps us stuck on the diet roller coaster. All restriction does is lead to overeating.

By cutting your goals in half or extending your time you will have success.  Set minimum baselines for yourself so you can see your success – Goals are a marathon, not a sprint.

Leave your Hiding Places – Hiding places keep us doing things away from our goals. I call our hiding places buffering. Difficult work, hard work – it doesn’t happen by accident.

Join me in today’s episode where we dive into how to have fun in weight loss.  Weight loss can be fun!

 In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • “The day after perfect is the most important day”
  • How to cut your goal in half
  • How to lose weight in a way you can do forever

Transformational questions:

  1. How does perfectionism show up in your weight loss journey?
  2. How can you give yourself more time or cut your goal in half?
  3. How can you have more fun in your weight loss journey?

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 92. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Today is a special episode. I am going to share a little bit of our book club. So we do a book club in Transform three to four times a year. And we’ve been doing a book by Jon Acuff called Finish. I am a big fan of Jon’s and today I’m going to share a little bit of the book club with you. So it’ll be a very special episode.

And if you are loving the show, please rate and review the show. Also make sure that you subscribe so I’m in your list every Wednesday morning. Plus I put out bonus episodes of my Facebook lives. You don’t want to miss them.

I am getting so excited loves. Paul and I are headed to Lake Tahoe this week and I cannot wait. Neither of us have ever been. We had scheduled it a couple years ago, but Paul had some surgery that was unexpected, and so we weren’t able to go. And so now we’re going and I am excited. I feel like we’ve been waiting a good bit to go to Lake Tahoe. We’ve never been, and I love the trees, and it’s just the nature is so beautiful, much cooler weather than here in Arizona. So I cannot wait to hike, spend some amazing time with Paul and just relax and reenergize. And if you’ve been to Tahoe and you have any recommendations, oh, please DM me on Facebook. I would love to hear them.

Love we are having is so much fun in Transform. We do. I love my ladies. I love them, #transformboss. I love them so much. We had two workshops in June. I did a bonus workshop in June. I did a two-part series and the first workshop was all about planning. And then the second workshop was on how to set yourself up for success. I love spending time with my ladies.

So many of them are showing up, losing weight, and honestly changing their life and weight loss story forever.  It inspires me. I just had one of my clients who has had a really tough time recently in her life, as we all do, and for the first time she did not gain weight. She’s lost a good amount of weight with Transform, and she is learning how even when life is hard, that she can still show up for herself. I absolutely love her, and I’m so proud of her. This is such transformational work. I feel so blessed that I get to witness it, that I get to watch women change their lives. It is truly, I don’t know what the word is, blessing, honor. It is just awe inspiring.

So June is our book club month and we have been doing Finish by Jon Acuff. I’ve read this book many times and I’m a big fan of Jon. He’s written several books. We’ve had so much fun in Transform this month, learning from Jon in this book. So in today’s podcast, I want to share three things that have really impacted me from this book. Now there are many lessons in this book. I highly recommend it, but here are three of them.

So the first one is this quote from Jon. “The day after perfect is the most important day.” And I love this. This is his opening chapter in the book, and it’s all about perfectionism. Perfectionism, love, even if you think, oh, I’m not a perfectionist, you will be surprised. I think, you know, it’s just part of being a human.

We have these fantasies about perfectionism. We want it to be perfect. And when I think about weight loss, I think about how many times I, you know, before I started a new diet, the weekend before Monday, I would be planning about how I was going to be perfect. And I was going to eat all the perfect food. And I was going to, you know, go to the gym. I was going to do all the things. I was going to post it on social media. I mean, I never did, but I had these thoughts, right? I was going to have others keep me accountable. You know, all the things. And you know, what I have found in this journey was the exact opposite.

That failing actually is what led to my success. I know, hear that again, failing – learning how to be imperfect, learning how to fail. And this is what Jon is talking about. See, he shares this story about how he would start this new nutritional regime of, I don’t know, it was like black beans or something. It was something that he had read in some diet book.

And his family always knew that basically, you know, every once in a while he was going to start this and he would be perfect. You know, he would eat the beans. You know, I can’t remember the whole thing, but he would eat it for like 12 days. And so for 12 days he would be perfect, but then life would happen. And when that happened, right? When life or he’d be traveling and he wasn’t “perfect,” he would just quit. He would just, you know, throw it away. And then, you know, he would be off the “kind of nutrition regime.” And I say this ladies, because this is what happens. This is honestly the definition of the diet rollercoaster.

We start something, we do it, and then when we’re not perfect, we don’t know how to fail. And then we quit. And then if we’ve lost weight, we start to gain it back. It’s this thing that we do over and over and over again. And, you know, learning how to fail, learning how to be imperfect. Learning that just because you ate off plan or just because maybe you had a weekend where you ate more than you wanted to doesn’t mean that you have to throw it all away.

It doesn’t mean that you have to go into a full binge. And also the opposite of that is true. You know, I really teach my clients how to have freedom in food, how to have allowance. Restriction is what keeps us wanting to be perfect, and thinking that we have to do some diet plan, some food plan, some get rid of the carbs, some Keto, or I don’t know. I don’t know all the things that, I mean, plant-based, I don’t know, all the things out there, whole 30. I mean, whatever it is, we think that we have to do some restrictive diet. What it most always, I mean maybe even 99%, leads to a binge, it leads to overeating.

And so learning how to allow yourself to eat your favorite foods and in a way where you can lose weight because you’re not going through this restriction binge cycle. So in this first lesson, the day after perfect is the most important day. It’s just about learning how to be imperfect. And that is the way that will actually lead to more success. I love it.

Number two is cut your goal in half. Oh, I love this one. This one is so important. You know, I talk about giving yourself more time in episode 89 of the podcast. So if you missed it, you’ll want to listen to that. But what he’s talking about and what he gives an example, he talks about these perfectionistic fantasies.

He says, you know, if you can run a 5k, why not a marathon? Right? I mean, this is how our brain works, right. I remember wanting to be a runner. Yes. That has gone through my brain. And I mean, I actually was out, I was doing 5ks and I wanted to be a runner, but one, I didn’t enjoy it. And two, you know, I wasn’t very good at it. Like running was not my gig. And so I had these thoughts that I was going to do a marathon and I just wanted to run the marathon.

You know my loves, what it did was just kept me thinking that what I was doing wasn’t good enough, that walking was not good enough. And now I’m a walker. I love it. And I do it again to move my body and I love it. And so he talks about this, you know, story about, you know, a 5k and not a marathon. And he gives plenty of examples in there, but he also gives this example and, you know, scientists, he did some research actually call this planning fallacy. And basically what this is, it’s a phenomenon in which predictions about how much time will be needed to complete a future task display an optimism bias and underestimate the time needed.

And so why this is important is, you know, we all watched, I always give this example, the Biggest Loser. We saw, you know, people losing 20, 30, 40 pounds in a week. And so we have this unrealistic expectation of how long it takes to lose weight. And so when we, again, we don’t lose, you know, five pounds in the week or four pounds or the two pounds that’s recommended, then we feel like failures. And when we feel like failures, we want to quit. We want to give up.

And so he talks about cutting your goal in half. And you know, I think of this, you can do one of two things and his recommendation too, if you can’t cut the goal in half is to give yourself more time. And I think this is so important in weight loss, because, you know loves, we want to lose weight by this time or an event or summer or whatever it is, whatever the thing is. And so we put all this pressure to, you know, lose weight. And then what happens is we start to restrict and then when we can’t do it, because we can’t just eat chicken and salad, then we start to overeat and then we have a binge session.

And then it’s a whole thing. And so I say this because when you allow yourself, I see this with my ladies in Transform. You allow yourself all the time. And that time is not related to you losing weight, that you just decide, I’m going to do this process. I’m going to make my realistic plan. I’m going to make it realistic.

I’m going to eat on plan. I’m going to show up for myself. Then love, I see ladies over and over, I see this with my clients, have success. They actually lose weight in a way that they can live their life and do forever. And so, you know, again, we do, we underestimate what we can do in the long-term and we overestimate in the short term.

And that is another thing that just keeps us stuck on the diet rollercoaster. So this is what I want you to do if you’re not in Transform. Well, one you totally want to get in there. I know I love Transform, but if you’re not, I want to give you some, one of the tools that I teach my ladies, and this is to put in a minimum baseline so that you can see success.

So if you are making your realistic plan, and if you, if you’re new and you don’t know what I’m talking about, go back to episode six, it’s one of my fundamentals and, you know, put in a minimum baseline, I’m going to make my realistic plan, whatever, you know, two out of seven days, four out of seven days, so that you can start to see success. So you can start to build your success. And because when you have success and you feel successful, you’ll start to see perfectionism, I would say it just kind of, you know, lightens a little. Lizzie kind of pipes down a little. And so, you know, goals, my love, this weight loss goal you have, they’re a marathon, not a sprint. I’ll use that quote from Jon, for sure. So put in a minimum baseline. Start with one thing and either give yourself more time or cut your goal in half.

Then number three, leave your hiding places. Ooh, I love this one. Hiding places keep us doing things that are away from our goals. And this again is perfectionism. So, you know, for example, instead of making your realistic plan, you’re scrolling on your phone. This shows up too in all of our goals. Work goals, family goals, life goals, right? Instead of doing the thing that we set out to do. Maybe it’s, you know, clean out a closet or clean your garage.

We’re so afraid of imperfection, that it will be hard that we start to do other things. So, you know, I give the example, he used the example of someone cleaning out their garage. But I think about this whenever I want to clean out a closet, right? My brain will be like, oh my gosh, that is going to take you a couple of hours.

And then what are you going to do with this stuff? And then you have to go to Goodwill and you know, all the things start going through my brain. And so, because I’m, you know, I have these thoughts that it’s going to be hard and because I think it’s going to be hard, then I procrastinate and I don’t do it.

And so what I do, things like watch Netflix, scroll on my phone. So, hiding places are just, you know, places and things, I like to call it buffering, it’s ways that we, you know, sort of hide from our goals and from the things that are gonna push us forward. And, you know, I loved what he said. Jon says this, Where do you find yourself going “accidentally?” So have you ever picked up your phone, and the next thing you know, you’re in Facebook or whatever social media, Instagram, and you find that as soon as you pick it up, even if that’s not where you were going, maybe you were going to go search the internet for something, or you were going to go look at your bank account, or you were going to go to Amazon or something, but the next thing you know, you’re like, oh, why did I pick up my phone? Because this is a trigger.

When you find yourself going someplace “accidentally,” that is a trigger that is a hiding place. Because difficult work, hard work, it doesn’t happen by accident. So it’s a good kind of way to figure out, like, where are your hiding places? Maybe it’s Netflix, maybe it’s the TV. Maybe it’s, you know, buffering with food, right. Being in the pantry, you know. Maybe it is, you know, of course social media. I think our phone is probably for many of us, most of us, our number one hiding place.

I know, it’s so good. One other point that he made in here, and I’m going to say his quote because I just love it so much. “Perfectionism loves isolation.” Perfectionism loves isolation because this is what we do. I seen this with so many ladies, you know, and they tell me these stories once they’ve joined Transform, and I did this for myself. For so long, I thought I’m just going to do this on my own. I can do this on my own. And you know, I can figure this out on my own. And you know, we think there’s just so much power.

But what I have found is power is in community. It’s in sharing your story. It’s in helping others. It’s in others helping you. I tell you love, the most progress that I have made is when I have support, when I have a community behind me. It’s one of the reasons why I created Transform because I wanted a community of women where they could go and share their challenges, their struggles, and they don’t have to do it on their own.

So how is perfectionism and isolation showing up for you? It’s so good. And you know, another thing he talks about, which I just, you know, thought about this, are our resources. So like time, energy, money, and that these are hiding places. I was thinking about this when I had a client recently say to me, oh, I just am struggling with justifying spending the money when I’m not putting in the time. And it sounds so good. Like I don’t have the time, right. And you know, I’m spending money and I don’t have the time, but I just want to offer, that those are just tricky thoughts, my love, because we all get to decide how we spend our time.

And I think about Transform. I mean, I have ladies who are having massive success and they spend, you know, 30 minutes to an hour a week. I mean, it’s, we have 168 hours my love. We spend, you know, if you go into your phone, I’m sure the average person, I can’t remember right now what the thing, but it was crazy. It was like four hours a day on social media. So I’m just saying like, it’s tricky thoughts like this that keep us doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. So just be aware of, there are your resources, right? You have time or energy or money and how you’re justifying staying in those hiding places.

Because again, it sounds really good. I mean, I could tell you I’m serious, my brain will always serve up how busy I am. It’s one of the things that is such a trigger for me that I have to really watch. My brain will always tell me how busy I am. And I just have to know that it’s not the truth. Busy is just a word. And I get to decide what I do with my time. And it’s a resource and, you know, I would be lying if I said, I didn’t spend time on social media or I didn’t spend time watching Netflix. Right. Or, you know, doing things that, I mean, I enjoy some of that, but it becomes a hiding place when it keeps you, or keeps me from doing things that are going to help me achieve my goals or help you achieve your goals.

So that’s the difference. That’s the really important piece. You know, I love spending some time on Facebook or in our private community group that we have in Transform. Love spending time there. But spending hours there when I should be writing a podcast, that is hiding my love, that is hiding. So how can you keep from your hiding places? One, become aware of all your hiding places and limiting thoughts around your resources, like time, money, or energy. Two, don’t resist it. And so I love this part that Jon, he gives us advice, just say, when I do this, then I will do that.

And so, you know, for me, for example with this podcast I have, I’m batching some podcasts today. And so I want to go and spend some time with Paul. And so I say, when I finish my podcast, then I will go and spend the afternoon with Paul. And so another way that you could say it is I will get on Facebook as soon as I make a realistic plan.

So again, it’s not about resisting or not having fun or doing the things you enjoy. It’s just, you know, being honest with yourself and deciding how you want to spend your time. And one of the things I want to give you, a tip I gave this to my Transform ladies. I always do what I don’t want to do first.

I’m telling you loves, I do this in my professional career, in the business, in goals I’m trying to achieve. I always do what I don’t want to do first. So, and I want to give you one more little bonus from Jon. It’s a chapter in his book and it is to have fun. You know, he talks about how, you know, we have all these limiting beliefs that it has to be hard and that, you know, only the challenges make you stronger. And you know, some of that’s true, but you have to have fun around your goals. And one of the things in Transform that is really important to me and my team and all the ladies is that we have fun.

We have inspiration, we have fun challenges. We laugh, we have a blast together. We make weight loss fun, and it’s so important. The community in Transform is amazing because we have fun. We support and we have a whole lot of love.

 

So to recap Jon’s book, and these are just three little nuggets, his book has so many more. So one, perfectionism keeps you stuck, learn how to fail and start to fall in love with the day after perfect. Number two, cut your goals in half, or give yourself more time. Number three, become aware of your hiding places and then decide how you will show up so you can live your best life in a body you love.

And the transformational questions are one, how does perfectionism show up in your weight loss journey? Two, how can you give yourself more time or cut your goal in half. And three, how can you have more fun in your weight loss journey?

And if you want to learn more about my tools, take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach. Tools that can help you start to lose weight for the very last time. Ah, so good my love. So good spending this time.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

  •  

EP #91: What is Hard About Losing Weight and What to Do

Have you thought that weight loss is hard?

I used to avoid hard things, I wanted to be comfortable.

This actually kept me stuck on the diet roller coaster. I recently was on a walk, and it was 100 degrees, it was hot. Every thought was about not going, quitting, and my brain gave me all the reasons why I should just quit, go home, not even start.

But I allowed those thoughts without making them mean anything – they were just sentences in my brain. Learning that hard is just a word – and that I get to decide how I want to think about it.

The hard is what has made me who I am, it is what has helped me lose weight, start a company, and help hundreds of women.

You do hard – you do lots of hard things. Weight loss is easy and hard. Learning how to embrace the hard is everything – it will help you lose weight for the last time.

 In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • What is hard about losing weight.
  • Why you choose comfort and how it keeps you stuck on the diet roller coaster.
  • How to embrace the hard and keep moving forward in your weight loss journey.

Transformational questions:

  1. What reoccurring thoughts come up for you when you are showing up for yourself? Like I don’t have time, it is too hot, I should be doing something else…
  2. What would change for you if you started to love the hard?

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 91. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello, love so happy to be back with you. Ooh, I love today’s episode. I mean, you know, ladies, I love spending this time with you, but this episode, it’s a good one. So you want to make sure you listen, and if you’re loving the show, please take the time to rate and review the show. I read every single one. And also make sure that you subscribe so every Wednesday morning I am in your podcast list. And also I release bonus episodes. You don’t want to miss those.

 

So I have had a wonderful week. I did a workshop with my Transform ladies this week, and I love these workshops. I added them in this year. I just wanted to do something extra. It’s a bonus in Transform. I love to give bonuses. And this month we actually have two different workshops and it’s kind of a part one and a part two. This was all about, this first one was about planning and the power of planning. I shared all of my best tips and strategies. I was not a born planner. I know some of you are, but I was not.

 

It’s so interesting how it has transformed my world from my weight loss, my career, even how I take care of myself. I learned a long time ago to do the things I don’t want to do first, to plan, even plan fun, rest relaxation. When I plan it is amazing how I feel, how I’m living my best life with my best self.

 

Sometimes I get lazidaisical and I don’t plan. And then my brain starts thought looping on all the things, worst case scenario. I start procrastinating, putting things off and you know my love, I just have some grace again. This process that I teach and the process that I’ve learned, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about showing up and just taking the next best action and learning tools and techniques that can help you live your best life in a body that you love.

 

This morning I was on my walk and love, it was hot, like a hundred degrees hot. My brain was like, skip it, it is Friday. You can make up for it tomorrow. You can, you know, I had all of these thoughts going through, like, you have so much to do. You can go earlier tomorrow. It’s so hot. You could take a longer walk tomorrow. You have so much to do today. Just stay home. Pretty much throughout the whole walk, I had all of these thoughts going through my head. But I had planned, you know, to walk. And I also planned when I got home to do my upper body workout with weights. So Lizzie was really piping up.

 

She was like, stop. And I just continued to let those sentences because that’s what they were. Thoughts are just sentences, go through my brain. I did not make them mean anything or that I needed to quit. And this really leads me into today’s topic. What is hard about weight loss? See, it’s not the process, not the scale, not the food, not the exercise. You know what is hard? No, our thoughts, our feelings. The process is easy, but we have these sentences that go through our brain. They cause us to feel a certain way, and then we act, we do this over and over again, but I’ve learned a couple things throughout my journey.

 

Number one, just because I think it, because I have a sentence that goes through my brain does not mean I have to feel a certain way or make it mean anything. And most of the time it’s not even true. And number two, I can feel bad and still choose a different thought and take an action that serves me. I’ve learned to feel my feelings and I’ve learned how to choose different thoughts to produce different feelings.

 

Today during my walk, it was not a breeze. Some days it is. Some days my walks, shoo, they go by fast. But today I had to keep coming into awareness, keep going. It felt hard today. So I felt it, but I did not take any action. I just kept refocusing my mind. I just kept telling myself today we planned to walk and this is what we’re going to do.

 

When I think that I feel determined and I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, even though thoughts like take the shortcut, you’re going to die in this heat, I just allow those thoughts to be there. And even when I got home and I was full on in a sweat and I thought, oh, I don’t want to do this upper body workout, I just did it anyways.

 

Thinking that weight loss should always feel easy, it kept me looking for a magical solution, pills, surgery, diet plans, food plans. It kept me wanting to be comfortable. And ultimately it kept me on the diet roller coaster for almost 38 years. I was listening to my teacher, Brooke Castillo’s podcast today, and it was all about hard. It was perfect timing actually. She said something and it is everything. This is a direct quote, “do not quit, do not change the thing that you’re attempting to do to make it easier so your thoughts will change, change your thoughts so you can do the harder thing to become stronger, to do the thing that will make you grow, to do the thing that will make you accomplish something that you will actually be proud of on the other side of it.”

 

See love, one of the things I teach my ladies in Transform is that we do hard things. We have so much evidence of it. The hard is what keeps us growing. It makes us feel alive. When we are comfortable, we are actually the most dissatisfied in our life. I’m going to say it again, because this is so important. When we are comfortable, we are actually the most dissatisfied in our life. If you’re dissatisfied with your life, it’s because you’re not doing hard things.

 

I know this because I have fell into it. I’ve fallen into it many times. But when I get out of my comfort zone, the easy, and start pushing myself to do the hard things, like feel my feelings, all of them, well my love, everything changes. You have overcome so many hard things love – raising children, loss, grief, trauma, pain, shoot, glass ceilings, struggle, love you are a boss. See weight loss is easy and it is hard.

 

The hard is our minds. The first step is just to embrace the hard and decide that you are going to show up and do the work that you are worth it, and that you are ready to learn how to lose weight for the last time. See, I love the hard, even when Lizzie gives me all the reasons to quit, I just let the sentences come in and decide on purpose what I want to think and how I want to show up for myself.

 

If you’re in Transform you have our course, coaching calls, and all the roadmaps to guide you. If you’re not in Transform, start with my free course, it will give you all of my fundamentals of the cheat code so you can start your journey on losing weight for the last time.

 

The transformational questions are number one, what reoccurring thoughts come up for you when you’re showing up for yourself? Like I don’t have time, it’s too hot, I should be doing something else. Number two, what would change for you if you started to love the hard?

 

And if you want to learn more about my tools, take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the very last time. Ooh, so good.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

  •  

Facebook Live 52: Magical Food Plans and How They Keep You Stuck

Join me in this episode which is all about magical food plans and how they keep you stuck. I know for so many of us, we have tried all the fad diets out there, Keto, Weight Watchers, counting points, counting carbs, counting fat grams, whatever. We see all these things on the internet, and it’s always promising. If you just eat “this” you will lose weight. And the crazy part about it is that you can, if you can just eat the “this” (whatever that may be) you will lose weight. But the problem is it’s not a long-term fix. You can do it short term, but then you start to struggle, and usually just quit. I am here to tell you, it is not about the food, it is not about an exercise plan, it is not about any of that.

Listen in as I teach you how to lose weight for the last time – no magical food plan here. I will show you it is how we buffer and use food to push our feelings and emotions down, and that we have become so disconnected from our bodies we don’t even know when we are hungry or full.  I will give you tools to help you end your struggle with weight for good.  In this episode I will teach you how to be in charge of what you eat, using the realistic plan. You are in charge of what you eat.

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course, where I share my experience and the 3 tools that I used to get off the diet roller coaster. All you have to do is click here to learn more!

What You’ll Discover:

  • How our failures help us to grow
  • You have the magic, it is within you, not in some food plan or exercise plan
  • How to lose weight in a way that you can always do, with love and community

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?

EP #90: How to Lose Weight by Eating Foods You Enjoy

How many times have you thought, if I could just eat “clean,” I could lose my weight?

I used to have these perfectionistic fantasies about eating clean, just meat and veggies. I would dream about how I would feel.

I went to a nutritionist once and did it.

But when life happened, when I ate pizza, I slowly went back to a full binge – eating all the things I could not eat on the “clean” diet.

Learning how to lose weight by enjoying your favorite foods is the only way I found to lose weight for the last time.

Learning how to pay attention and really enjoy your favorite non-fuel food and enjoying your fuel foods too.

Join me on today’s episode where we dive into how to enjoy food and still lose weight. No all or nothing here.

You will Discover:

  • Why dieting, eating clean just leads to overeating and the diet roller coaster
  • To lose weight for the last time, you have to do it in a way that you can always do
  • You can lose weight and still enjoy your favorite foods

Transformational questions:

  1. What are foods that you enjoy that you want to include in your plan?
  2. Why is it important to you to lose weight in a way that you can always do?

And if you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight.

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 90. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Oh my goodness. Can you believe episode 90. Only 10 more to episode 100. And we are going to do something super fun for episode 100. So probably around episode 95, 96 I will release all of the fun information. You will not want to miss it. For sure there’s going to be a prize giveaway, for sure.

So today, we’re going to talk about losing weight and eating foods you enjoy. I have to tell you, ladies who join Transform, one of the things I think ladies really struggle with at first is this idea that you can lose weight and eat foods you enjoy. I know, we have just been so brainwashed from all the diets, we just don’t believe it. I know something different. Everything that I teach is around learning how to eat foods you enjoy and lose weight.

So if you are loving the show, please rate and review it. Also make sure you subscribe so I’m in your list every Wednesday morning. So, oh my goodness, ladies, I am so excited for all of the fun things coming up in Transform. We have our member only event in August. It’s called Unstoppable Live.

We’ve been planning for it and we are going to just blow our ladies’ minds. We have been planning all the fun bonuses and we are going to have ladies come in person. So it’s a virtual event, many ladies are attending virtually, but we also are going to have some in-person availability. So we have some ladies who are coming in person and, oh my goodness.

I mean, there might be a glam photo shoot bringing in some hair, makeup. We’re going to have a blast. And of course, for all my ladies virtually, we have some fun bonuses too. And I just can’t wait. I love watching ladies in these immersive events. You know, I remember going to immersive events with my teacher and she hasn’t had one in a while, but oh, I just, you know, my mind is always just so blown and it’s where I have some of my biggest ahas and some of my biggest learning. So I cannot wait. It’s in August and I cannot wait to watch how my ladies will grow and how they will even take their weight loss journey to the next level.

So this past weekend, ladies, I don’t know about you, but Father’s Day is coming up, and we decided to celebrate early. And we also had my nephew’s graduation. He just graduated high school and he has this sweet girlfriend named Rose and she graduated too. And so we celebrated, it was fun. We went actually over to my brothers and, you know, had a kind of a barbecue and went in the pool, and my grandbabies, I’m not going to lie, they love the pool. I mean, kids just love the pool. They love water. So we had a blast this past weekend, but I like to put fun into every day. I think this is part of the process of losing weight for the last time.

It’s learning how to have fun and joy in your life because before food was, I would say, the most, one of the most important things in my life, meaning I was so, I would think about it, obsess about it. I would be thinking about when I was going to eat my next fix. And what I’ve learned through this process is how to, you know, make food really honestly, the least interesting thing in my life. So do you ever feel like if you just ate clean, then you could lose weight. Like if you did whole 30 or plant-based or some sort of other diet that if you just ate chicken and salad, that you could lose weight for good. My last attempt with a nutritionist was very much this way.

I thought if I could just follow her plan, I could lose weight and then I’d figure everything else out later. I mean, you know, this is what I thought, and her protocol was very clean. No sugar, flour, gluten, no processed foods. It basically was meats and veggies. And of course her supplements and some protein shakes too. And I did do it and I lost some weight, but there was this pivotal moment, and I’ll never forget it because my husband and I talked about it for years after, I had been eating clean for months. Months, my loves. I had lost weight and my husband and I went out to dinner and we had pizza and it was kind of like my mind just shifted into another mode, and that was the downfall.

And I just from that point on slowly started to go off plan. I slowly started to, you know, eat all the things. And I really went from this very strict to what I always did, which was overeat, binge, just eat all the things that I couldn’t eat when I was on the clean diet. See, this is why diets just don’t work because you go from following some plan and then if you eat off plan or you, you know, go out or something stressful happens in your life, or you’re go on vacation or, I mean, there’s so many scenarios in this life, then you don’t know what to do, and so you go back to this just off plan. And when you’re off plan, you’re off. Like if you’re anything like me, this is how it goes for you.

And I did this for so long, and because I lost weight and really quickly too, my body had not adjusted. And so it didn’t have time to adjust. It didn’t have time to get to it set point. And so putting back weight, I mean, it was very easy. I swear I could gain 10 pounds in a week and I tell you loves it’s because I lost weight so fast that my body did not have time to adjust.

And you know, when stress came, when my life, my life was changing at that time too, we were moving to Utah. You know, I didn’t know what to do. I had not learned how to change my mindset. So I did what I always did. I slowly went into a full binge and I ate all the things I could not have on my “clean” plan.

And I gained all the weight back and a lot more. And I want to talk about this feeling when you gain the weight back. Have you ever lost weight, you were feeling pretty good, and then something happened and you gained it back? And I tell you love, there is just no worse feeling. I mean, maybe there’s worse feelings, but it feels pretty bad.

There’s so much shame because people can see it. This is the one thing about weight. Everyone can see it. And you were feeling so great. And I remember when I was on the nutritionist plan, I was telling everyone about it and I was so excited. And then when I gained the weight back, I felt so embarrassed. I felt so ashamed.

And because basically I had lost weight and I didn’t enjoy most of the food I was eating and I didn’t learn how to lose weight in a way that I could always do. And because I didn’t lose weight in a way that I could always do, I just went back to my old pattern of just eating all the things, again in automatic brain, not in this conscious awareness and then add on all the shame, all the embarrassment, the feeling of not being able to wear the clothes, the new clothes that I had bought, going back into my older sizes.

This is one of the things I see my Transform ladies struggle with sometimes, when they start to lose weight, getting rid of the old clothes because they’re so, they get some fear. I mean, have you ever had that where you want to keep all, you know, you want to keep all the old clothes because you know, so scared that this isn’t the last time, and you know my loves, this is what I teach. I teach women how to lose weight for the last time. And part of that is eating foods that you enjoy, and it is such an important part of the process and learning how to when you eat the foods that you enjoy really coming into awareness and really paying attention.

And so, you know, I was just thinking about when I, you know, so many diets, especially, you know, the one that you count points on, I would eat all of these Franken foods. Right. I remember making like sugar-free Jell-O and like strawberries. And it was like zero points. And so I would have this Jell-O with strawberries in it, and I would just like eat tons of it because it was zero points, but I wasn’t satisfied. I didn’t, like it tasted fine. I mean a little chemically, you know, chemical, but it, you know, I didn’t, I wasn’t satisfied. And I, because I wasn’t eating the food that I really wanted. Have you ever just overate foods that “you think are healthy?” It kind of goes like this. This is how it would go for me. I would tell myself that, you know, I wanted something. And so instead of the cookie, I’m like, okay, I’m going to eat some nuts.

So then I would eat the nuts. I’d still be thinking about the cookie. So then I’d be like, okay, let me eat the fruit. And then I would eat some fruit. Then I’d go back to and eat some nuts. Then I would add in some popcorn, I would add in all of these foods that I thought were “healthy,” but I really just wanted a cookie. And if I would have, just at the very beginning, just eaten the cookies down, really enjoyed it, then moved on instead of this two or three hour nibble fest, where I was like nibbling on all these different things to satisfy this one craving that I had. I see this so often with my ladies. Just put a cookie on your plan my love, it will be okay.

I think when ladies first come to me, one of the things, and I talked about this, they’re just so surprised about no, I want you to put all the things on your realistic plan. Because what happens over time is when you start to come into awareness, when you have allowance and you start to enjoy food, I enjoy all the food. I enjoy fuel food. I enjoy non-fuel food. And because I really slow down and enjoy the food, I don’t have this bad or good. It’s just food in my world. And I, you know, know now because I pay attention to my body, I know when I’m starting to feel satiated, when I’m starting to feel like little whispers of fullness and I can stop.

I can stop because I feel satisfied because I’m eating foods that I enjoy. Again, whether it’s fuel, like I was just the other day eating this really amazing salad. And I remember way back when just like thinking either salad was diet. And so if I was eating salads, it was diet food. And so I had kind of a negative thoughts around like good food that fueled my body.

But going through this process that I teach, I’ve learned how to eat food that feels good in my body and love it. This salad was so good. I was like eating it up. And it was like so delicious. So I just have learned how to love all the food. And I have, you know, a variety of it on my realistic plan.

Now, if you don’t know what the realistic plan is, go back to episode six and I’ll explain everything in that episode about the realistic plan. Now, I want to say this other really important part about learning how to lose weight by eating foods that you enjoy is because when you do this and you start with a realistic plan and you meet yourself right where you’re at, you will find that you will lose weight at a slower pace than if you just cut it to chicken and salad. But this is so important because what happens is your body adjusts. And because it adjusts, you won’t gain it, right? You won’t, even if you ate off plan for a day or so, you’ll find that your body is not like, okay, I’m going to put five pounds on overnight.

So there is some science here too, my love, about learning how to lose weight. And I just did the previous episode, episode number 89. You want to go back and listen to that about time, but it’s really important to lose weight at a pace that your body can adjust to. And when you do it by eating foods that you love and really enjoy, and you start to learn how to feel hunger, and you come into awareness, love, it is just this amazing process. And I tell you, it is just, it is the way my love. One of my Transform ladies, I was just in the group and I was reading all the posts. We have this private community and she loves to bake and she had baked chocolate chip cookies.

She posted a picture of it and she’s like, yeah, I’m going to put two on my plan. And she’s going to enjoy them. She’s lost 40 pounds with Transform. She’s almost at her natural weight. And you know, she’s, she’s lost this weight, eating what she enjoys, and now she can bake cookies. She can put a couple of cookies on her plan, slow down and really enjoy them. And that is the key to success. It’s learning how to lose weight by eating foods that you enjoy.

So one, start with making your realistic plan. If you don’t know what that is, go to episode six. Then pay attention when you’re eating, enjoy your nonfuel food, it is so important. I categorize food as fuel or nonfuel, not good or bad. So go to episode nine if you’ve not listened to that, and I’ll explain how to really rethink what you think about food. And then make a list of all the foods that you want to eat. Yes, fuel and nonfuel. Then make your realistic plan, meet yourself, right where you’re at and just enjoy it.

Slow down, come into awareness. When you’re eating your meals or you’re eating food, you know, I remember my parents always saying slow down and you know as kids, I didn’t want to, but I tell you love, when you slow down and you come into awareness and you really pay attention to your food and what you’re eating, and I love to think about when I’m, especially when I’m eating fuel food, like how it’s going to nourish my body and how my body is going to feel. It’s just a completely different experience than sitting in your car, eating, you know, whatever it is, whether it’s fuel or nonfuel, not paying attention, not enjoying it, and then not feeling satisfied.

See loves when we just eat it all, and we don’t slow down, we never pay attention and we never actually get that feeling of like, oh, this is really fueling my body or, Ooh, that really tasted good. Right? We were, we don’t even pay attention. It’s such an important part. It’s the first part of the cheat code in Transform, it’s awareness. It’s just slowing down. See, we over-complicate weight loss because of all the diets and all the food plans and all the things. But weight loss can really be easy. And it starts by eating foods that you enjoy and not cutting out any of it.

So the transformational questions are one, what are the foods that you enjoy that you want to include in your plan? And two, why is it important to lose weight in a way that you can always do? And if you want to learn more about my tools, take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready, R E A D Y, to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you lose weight for the last time. Bye for now love.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #89: Double Down On Time and It Is Not What You Think

How fast do you think you need to lose weight?

I used to give myself 6 months or a year. I watched Biggest Loser and had so many expectations of losing weight quickly. I thought I should be losing 5 pounds a week.
See, these expectations of time keep us stuck on the diet roller coaster. We tell ourselves that we can’t lose the weight and that we must restrict, use a food plan or over exercise.

I had to give myself time to lose weight, to learn how to change my mindset in the process.

How long have you been on the diet roller coaster?  I was on it for 38 years and it took me that long to lose weight for the last time.

Join me in this episode so you can learn how to lose it for the last time.

Here are this week’s transformational questions.

  1. How long have you been on the Diet Roller Coaster?
  2. How fast do you want to lose weight? – And then double it.
  3. Write all the thoughts you have about changing your mindset and how hard it will be, then decide what you want to believe about it.

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

What You’ll Discover:

  • How you restrict time and have faulty expectations
  • How to lose weight in the fastest time you ever have – what did you say Shannan?
  • When you lose weight quickly, your body will go into survival mode and how it slows your progress
  • The truth about how long it took me to lose weight for the last time

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 89. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Today, we’re going to get into it. I’m going to discuss time. I love, oh my love. You will not want to miss this one. And I want to say, if you are loving the show and you have not left a review, please rate and review the show. Also make sure that you subscribe so I am on your list every Wednesday morning.

So ladies, I forgot to tell you last time that we were together about my baby’s. Oh, you know, Memorial day weekend, we had the best weekend and, you know, I love, I mean, I would say I really do try to enjoy all the days, but we had this really special Saturday and Sunday, and all my babies. Well, the three older ones spent the night, but I got to see all of them, of course, but the three older ones spent the night and it is just, I love having them. I, you know, love watching them and talking to them and playing with them. And they have been really wanting to swim, really wanting to swim, but, you know, it has been pretty chilly in the pool. And so finally the pool was ready and they went swimming at night with the pool lights and they thought it was so super cool and had the best time.

And, you know, Sunday morning we got up, we went and we walked to the playground and it was fun even though on the way back, it was getting warm outside. And so, you know, my two girls, they were struggling a little bit, but they made it back. I actually had to carry my four-year-old a little bit of the way home, but it was all good. And I just, you know, oh, I do just love those babies. I’m not kidding. And Paul and I, of course had some really amazing time together. And, you know, it was just a really fun relaxing weekend. So I hope all of you had an amazing Memorial day weekend and got rest and fun.

And of course, you know, just really took some time to have some joy over that weekend. So I have to tell you ladies, yesterday we had a coaching party. So I don’t know, I haven’t had one in probably like nine months. So every week in Transform, there is a coaching call and I do group coaching and it’s amazing.

And you know, I love coaching. It has transformed my life and I’ve watched it transform my ladies lives. Honestly, I’ve seen them have breakthroughs and aha moments and they’re really walking and stepping into the new version of themselves. And so one of the things is we used to do what I like to call a coaching party and we all get on zoom and, you know, I can see some of them, some of them I just hear them, you know, they don’t have their video on and we just kind of like get into limiting thoughts and limiting beliefs and really see how those are showing up for us. And I have to say, we did one yesterday and I think this is going to, for sure, become a monthly event. It was so fun. And the ladies really enjoyed it. Plus it was just so amazing to like do the work and do it together. You know, I heard a lot from the ladies that it just felt good to like be a part of whether they were, you know, coming on and talking or just, you know, being in the chat. Again, it’s always optional for my ladies. However, they want to show up, however they feel comfortable, but it was just so amazing to do this work together. And I shared a story about a struggle that I had had recently and kind of walked through my limiting thought that I was having. And it was just so fun.

I just, I love my ladies in Transform. I just love watching them grow and show up for themselves. It is just the absolute, it does. It gets me emotional. Honestly, I feel like all the chills in my body because they’re just these amazing, beautiful women. So I just had to give a shout out to them. I just love them.

So let’s talk about time and weight loss. So I want to take us back to the Biggest Loser. How many of you ladies have watched the Biggest Loser? I did. I was a die hard. I couldn’t wait for the new season. I watched every episode. I tried out for the Biggest Loser. I didn’t make it on obviously, but I was like, I really wanted it.

It just, you know, I would watch those transformations and losing the weight so quickly. I mean, that was the thing. Right. And I used to have this thought that, oh, if I could just be like quarantined, right. If I could just like, not have to like, and all my focus was just on losing weight and exercising.

Oh, if I just lost it all, right. And we watched these amazing things. Like, remember the week one, it was like, you know, they would lose like, I don’t know, 30 pounds in a week and, or, you know, crazy numbers. Right. Yeah. And it just started to, that show cement this belief that I had, that, you know, you, I could lose 10 pounds in a week. And that, that was the way. And that if I could just lose the weight and have this transformation, that everything would be better. Oh, love, but you know what it did. It actually just kept me stuck. It kept me looking for this quick fix.

It kept me having these like expectations of losing five pounds in a week or 10 pounds in a week. Or, you know, if I didn’t have a week that I would lose, then I wasn’t doing it right. I wasn’t doing it good enough. And it made me continue to think that if I just lost all the weight, that once I lost the weight, it would all be better. So there was this time where I went to a nutritionist and, you know, went on this very clean kind of protocol, you know, really no sugar, flour. It was just very strict. And I really committed to it. I was going to do it and I did. I lost weight. I got down to a really good, you know, size where, I mean, you know, I was feeling really good. I had lost a lot of weight and, you know, I was, you know, thinking like, okay, this is the way, but this is such the crazy part about this. So I remember when I was at this very small size and still was not happy with my body.

I had loose skin. I, you know, still saw pictures where I thought, oh, I don’t look that good. You know, I’m still not a size two. You know, I still had all of these thoughts. And so here I did, I lost weight. I was at a very, I don’t know. I think I was probably, I don’t know, anywhere from a size eight to a size 10, again, feeling really amazing, feeling so good in my body, but not really because even though I had lost this weight, I still had all of these thoughts that it wasn’t good enough, that I still needed to lose weight. I still wasn’t small enough. I had all this extra skin and I still had some fat on my body.

And so all of those old thoughts and I hadn’t changed my mind at all. I just followed this strict, you know, plan. And so then, you know, lots changed in my life. We moved, you know, these different things happened and I gained it all back and I had all my old sabotaging behaviors were there. And because, this is a really important part my loves. There’s some science to this too, because I was restricting my body in such a short period of time because I had lost this weight over probably a three to four month period. My body could not adjust. And so it was also going through a lot of trauma trying to like, is she going to starve us? Like what’s happening?

 

And so my body was going in and out of this kind of fat storing mode, because remember, our bodies are made for survival. And so when you go from eating all the things to restriction, your body is like, whoa. Right? And then your body is just like, okay, I’ve got to like store it all up. And so then I would have to restrict more to make the scale move. And it was just this, oh, it was just this really bad cycle. I know love, have you had this happen? I know you have. And so, you know, there again, going from eating all the things to restriction, it does not work long-term. Your body can’t catch, catch up, your body, you know, also that your body has these set points. And then what happens is ladies start to feel like you’re on a plateau and then you start telling yourself you’re not doing.

Then you try to restrict more than your body’s like, oh my gosh, we’re going to starve. Food’s not available. I mean, it is just really traumatizing to your body. And so I just want to ask you my love. Are you just so tired of starting the next best thing? Are you just like, so over restricting overeating, feeling like this is your struggle.

My love I do this work because I want something different for you. I really do. And the way is not through restriction and punishment and the new diet fad, it’s learning how to change your mindset. It’s learning how to eat food that fuels your body and also eating a cupcake and learning how to when something in your life, when stress happens or when you, you know, like feel tired or when you know, something major happens, you can move through it, feel the feelings without buffering, without eating all the things.

And you know, I, I want to think about like all the diets out there. I mean, there’s so many, my husband just read this article that there’s some new diet pill, and I was just, oh, it just made me so frustrated. I was just like, ah, right. Like, let’s do that again. Right. Let’s do that again. How many? I mean, I, I did it. It doesn’t work long-term because at the end of the day, if I don’t, if I didn’t learn how to manage my mind and no pill, potion, shake, food plan is going to help that, because my go-to was always eating. When I had stress, when I felt tired, shoot, when I felt joy, I wanted to eat all the things.

And so my love, the only way that I have found to lose weight for the last time, I think for most humansis  to learn how to change your mindset, feel a feeling, and allow yourself to do it in a way that is loving and in a way that you give yourself time. I tell you my loves. We don’t want to give ourselves the time. And you know, I think about this right now. I just want you to think, how long have you been on this diet roller coaster?

Because my love that is actually how long it has taken you to lose weight. I know, hear me, hear what I’m saying. If you, you have not lost your weight for the last time, this is how long it has taken you, It took me 38 years to lose my weight for the last time. I love this quote by Jon Acuff.

I just love it so much. He’s an author. He has a lot of fabulous books. So yeah. Look him up. He’s really amazing. He said, we give the problem a year and the solution a week. We have been programmed to just, here’s the thing that I’ve been struggling with my whole life or 20 years or 10 years or whatever it’s been for you.

But yet I want to just like, get it done. And I want to flip the switch. I want to get it fixed in a week or a month or six months. And this idea of, you know, restricting your time, telling yourself that you need to lose this weight in six months, it is keeping you stuck. It is keeping you stuck my love.

So what do you do? You allow yourself time. You learn how to change your mindset. You do this work, the work of learning tools to break your diet brain, to show up for yourself, to lose weight in a way that you lose it for the last time, the last time my love. And we think it’s hard to change our mindset.

We do. We have these beliefs that it’s hard, but honestly, even the tools that I teach my ladies, it’s simple, easy tools that usually take two minutes or less. So this is what I want you to do. Whatever timeframe you have in your head, I want you to double it. If you’re like, I need to lose weight in a year, I want you to give yourself two years. If you’ve been on the diet roller coaster, let’s just say for 10 years, and it takes you two years to lose it for the last time, well, my love that’s the fastest you’ve ever lost it. I want to say that one more time because our brains are like what, Lizzie’s like, huh?

If you’ve been on the diet rollercoaster for 10 years and it takes you two years to lose it for the last time in a way that you could always do, like you can always do it. Always do it. Well, my love that is the fastest you’ve ever lost it.

So my love, the transformational questions are one, how long have you been on the diet roller coaster? Two, how fast do you want to lose it? And then I want you to double it. And then three, write all the thoughts you have about changing your mindset, all the limiting beliefs about how hard it will be, how you can’t do it. And then I want you to write one thought that you want to believe about it. One thought about what you can do, what you are doing.

And if you want to learn more about my tools, take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

So good my love. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

Enjoy the Show?

Facebook Live #51: Feeling Your Feelings and How We Push Them Down

We just welcomed in a whole new group of new ladies into Transform WLP. So much fun! Join me in this episode as I talk about feelings. Feelings are such an important part of learning how to lose weight for good. Everything we do or that we don’t do, is to feel a certain way. When we avoid emotions we consciously or subconsciously buffer with different things, food, TV, spending money, alcohol, the list goes on. We just keep pushing those feelings down like a beachball, which then causes them to come out even stronger. When we are doing this, we are not only not feeling the negative feelings, but we are also not fully feeling the good ones. We have to once again learn to reconnect with our bodies and allow our feelings. In this episode I really dig deep into the importance that our feelings have in weight loss and I will teach you a quick simple way to begin to feel your feelings.

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course, where I share my experience and the 3 tools that I used to get off the diet roller coaster. All you have to do is click here to learn more!

What You’ll Discover:

  • The different ways you may be buffering to avoid your feelings
  • How important feelings are in weight loss
  • How to allow and fully feel your feelings

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #88: The 5 Phases of Permanent Weight Loss

Join me in this episode as I talk about the five phases of permanent weight loss stages. Some ladies get stuck in phase two or three and they keep going back and forth. This is the diet roller coaster. I was on this dreaded diet rollercoaster for almost 38 years. And I know how difficult it can be, how frustrating it can be. And I want to just share with you these five phases so that you can decide where are you and where do you want to be.

Listen in as I dive deep into these five phases. You will learn how to take that fear and confusion and turn it around and do something different. I will teach you about your “Lizzie” phase, and how it can lead to the next phase. I will teach you how to change your mindset and to learn how to believe new things.  Let me show you how failure and challenges are just part of the process. You will also learn that these phases can work for anything in your life, not just weight loss.  I want to teach you to get off the diet roller coaster for good, how to become an unstoppable boss. Are you ready to become unstoppable?

Here are this week’s transformational questions.

  1. What phase are you mostly in right now? 2.
  2. If you’re in phase two or three, what is your next best action to move to phase four?

What You’ll Discover:

  • How taking the next best action can lead to weight loss success
  • How to keep showing up for yourself even though you are going to fail
  • That by doing the hard work for ourselves (and not just everyone else) and embracing the discomfort you can lose weight for good
  • How to become unstoppable

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 88. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you today. I’m going to share the five phases of weight loss, and I have seen myself go through these phases and my clients. Awareness of where you are can help you move forward in permanent weight loss.

But first I want to give a listener shout out. This is where I’ll read a review of the podcast every week. This week’s listener shout out is to Sharon Spohn. She is a Transform boss. I love her reviews and she has gone through the transformation and she is off the diet roller coaster. She has lost 121 pounds with Transform and she is a boss for sure. Sharon writes Shannan, this podcast really puts into perspective of how we as women feel. It is never the right time to put ourselves first to lose weight or even simple pleasures of life itself. When I joined Transform, I made a decision it was time to take control and put myself first.

I have to say it was hard to make the decision. I took a leap of faith. I was living my life on autopilot, taking care of others and having so much doubt and self-loathing of myself. Transform, Shannan and the sisterhood of beautiful ladies changed all of that for me. I love my life, my body, and helping other ladies on their journey with weight loss and changing their mindset. Choose now to be the right time, because you never know when your time is up. Live life for the present. Give yourself that gift of true freedom of self importance. Thank you. Oh, Sharon. I know, I love it. It was episode 87, if you’ve missed that one, you’ll want to go back and listen to it. It was a really great episode about, you know, honestly love, there just really is never the right time. We keep looking for it, but there really isn’t. So thank you, Sharon. If you love the show, I would so appreciate it if you left a review, I read every single one of them. And also make sure you subscribe so I am in your list every Wednesday morning.

So we just closed the doors for open enrollment to Transform, and we have so many new beautiful ladies. They’re a little scared, maybe a little overwhelmed, but excited and hopeful. And they’re starting to dig in and I cannot wait to have our welcome call and party with them this week. I love watching new ladies show up for themselves. It is the best.

I love all my ladies in Transform because they all each have their own story and their own journey. And I’m just so grateful that I get to be a part of it. We have a lot of exciting stuff happening in Transform over the summer. We love to make weight loss fun and exciting, because weight loss can feel heavy and hard. And I’m doing a virtual event, August 6th and 7th for Transform members only. And it’s a virtual event, so ladies all over the country are going to be watching. But I just opened it up for in person, so ladies are gonna come here to Arizona and they’re going to meet me, and I’m going to meet them, which I cannot wait. I have to tell you my love, every time I think about meeting these ladies in person, I’m not kidding, I cry. Like tears roll down my face because I just cannot wait to hug them. I cannot wait to meet my ladies in person. It’s very small, we had only a limited number of tickets available because it’s a very intimate in-person event. But I just cannot wait to hug them. And I’m going to do all sorts of special things for them.

I have lots of surprises, like amazing surprises, which, oh my goodness ladies, if you know me, I love surprises. I love giving them. And like, like to this day, my son’s maybe a little like mom, I don’t like surprises anymore, and they’re always good ones, but you know, I just love them so much. I love surprising the humans and making their day. It’s like my favorite thing.

So today we’re going to talk about the five phases of permanent weight loss stages. And some ladies get stuck in phase two or three and they keep going back and forth. This is the diet roller coaster. I was on this dreaded diet rollercoaster for almost 38 years. And I know how difficult it can be, how frustrating it can be. And I want to just share with you these five phases so that you can decide where are you and where do you want to be.

So the first phase is the beginner phase, and the beginner phase, I think this phase is always exciting, right? If you ever think about starting something new, there is a lot of excitement. I think there’s a lot of hope. Hope that this is the time that this is gonna work. And you know, I think this phase is just, you know, it can also have a lot of fear with it too, right? Maybe a little bit of confusion. Like, Ooh, I’m not sure what to do, but this beginner phase is an important phase because this is when you decide that you want to do something different.

This is the phase that you start the work. Maybe you, you know, if you’re a Transform boss, right, you attend a call, you come to the welcome party, you watch one of the course videos. You’re just starting to kind of dip your toe in the water and you try some of the basics, right? Like a realistic plan. You join the community. But in this beginner phase, when you’ve decided that you want to lose weight for good, that you want to get off the diet roller coaster, the one like thought that keeps going through many of my ladies heads, and it went through my head too, it was just that you know that diets don’t work.

I think about this when I first started to find this work and I knew, you know, I had gone back to the national program many, many times. I had tried all the things, done, all the things, all of the things. And I just knew that it wasn’t about the food and that diets didn’t work. So I went on the search for a coach and I found one of two, like two coaches actually that I started to learn from and work with.

And, you know, in this beginning phase I was excited. I knew that coaching was the way. I wasn’t quite sure how it was going to go, but I just knew that it was going to be different and that I wasn’t going to diet anymore. And I had decided in that moment, not to diet any longer.

And then phase two, I like to call this the Lizzie phase. So if you’re new to me, Lizzie is what I call my own primitive brain. Our primitive brain is, you know, it’s responsible for flight or fight. It is impulsive, you know, and I like to call this phase, the Lizzie phase. Now phase two starts to happen, when things start to get complicated, they start to get uncomfortable, and we start to have a lot of fear in this phase. This is where all of what I like to call the puddle emotions come up. You know, worry, doubt, right? I can’t do this. You know, this is too hard. I remember going through this. I had a lot of things, you know, going on in my life and, you know, my mother and my mother-in-law were, you know, ill and, you know, I knew my mother actually was going to pass, and I started having all of this doubt. And, you know, I wasn’t sure that I could continue with my coach. And I had just kind of registered for her weight loss kind of course she had at the time, but I was still kind of in, I was still kind of feeling excited, but I still had a lot of overwhelm and you know, it just felt hard. And I had all of these excuses and reasons of why I couldn’t show up. I mean, I was commuting. I mean, I had all the reasons and all the excuses and it really felt uncomfortable.

And this phase, Lizzie phase in any, you know, when you’re learning this work and I think of my Transform ladies, phase two is one of those phases where you go in and out, you have these moments where you get into the puddle, and the puddle is just worry, doubt, and fear. Some overwhelm is in there too, and you’re just kind of playing around.

You’re playing around in all those old belief systems that you can’t lose weight, that it’s too hard, you can’t get off the diet roller coaster for good. And mostly, it just feels uncomfortable. And so that leads you right into the automatic phase, because remember our automatic brain, our habits, our old belief systems, they’re all in that automatic brain.

And so phase three is all about the automatic. And you know, we go into this because we want to disconnect. Love, this happens. And this phase to me is one of the most difficult phases to recognize and to get out of, because we disconnect. I think about this when my, you know, during this time when I had, I knew that I wasn’t going to diet anymore, I knew the way was through coaching and the tools that I was learning, but because of all the things that were happening in my life, I just couldn’t handle all my feelings, and so I just disconnected. And I went back to all of my old record players. I like to call them records, records spinning in the back of my brain, all of the old beliefs.

And I just wanted to escape the discomfort. And because I wanted to escape, because I wanted to disconnect, I didn’t want to feel the pain of loss of my mother or my mother-in-law, I just started to slowly quit. And this really happens. This is also part of this automatic phase, phase three, you start looking for your plan B, you start thinking, okay, this isn’t working, I need to go back to some old diet that worked one time or maybe a couple of times, but like, you’re right. Like I remember thinking, well, this coaching, maybe it’s too hard. Maybe I can’t do it. And I really, you know, I thought, oh, maybe I should go back to Weight Watchers.

You know, even though I had, you know, never really been successful, even though I had lost weight, I just never could keep it off. I never could count points for a lengthy period of time. And so this phase three is a phase that if you’re in it, if you’re disconnected, if you find yourself buffering, overeating, my love, it’s just, be aware of it. Okay. This is where I’m at. And then decide what is the next best action to move into phase four.

Now, phase four is all about commitment. I call it the commitment phase because this is where you really decide, like, I mean really commit, like I’m going to be committed. I’m going to fail. I’m going to have overeats. I’m going to have times where I go back to phase two or phase three, where I am in Lizzie brain, or I’m in the automatic brain, but I’m committed to show up for myself. I’m committed to live my best life. I think phase four is just this beautiful phase where you’ve just made this really like firm decision that you’re not going to quit on yourself.

That you’re going to keep showing up, even though you’re going to fail, even though you’re going to like, make all sorts of mistakes. I think about this when I really decided, and this was after my mom had passed and after my mother-in-law had passed. And I just remember just deciding like, you know the way Shannan, go get it.

You know what to do. Like, I just remember having this conversation like it’s gonna, right. You’re gonna not do it perfectly, but you are going to commit yourself to this because what is at the other end of this process is everything. It is living your best life in a body that you love. And I tell you my love, when I decided it was everything, it was everything, it changed, it really has changed my life. And it just came down to this commitment and really deciding, and looking and researching and finding the tools and finding, you know, all the different things and really honestly creating my best life. And I knew and made the decision that I just wasn’t going to quit on myself. And I started immersing myself in the work.

I just remember, literally I’m not even kidding watching my teachers masterclass, I don’t even know how many times, over and over again. I just, I would listen to all of these different podcasts, read all of these different books because I didn’t have Transform back then. There was no program that I could find that had everything I needed, the community, the course work, the tools, the coaching, all the different things. So I was sort of piecing it all together myself. Now my Transform ladies, like you have all of this. You have all the pieces. And so, but I was, I was committed. And so the feelings in this phase honestly, is just commitment and resiliency.

I just kept getting back up. Like I would like fail and have an overeat. And then I was just like, okay, okay, you did move on. And then what happens over time is that even now if I have an overeat or I don’t make my realistic plan, it’s so like, it’s so minor. Like before I would have like a full overeat and like eat all the things for days like a whole weekend.

Now it’s just a meal or it’s just a dessert or it’s just something that wasn’t on my plan. It’s not to the degree. And I think that this is what happens through these phases is that even if you have, you know, challenges or failures, they’re small in comparison to before. I mean, before I would go and I would like binge for months, you know, my loves for months. Now because I moved to phase four, I’m just committed. And so the way that I view failure and challenges is that it’s just part of the process. It doesn’t mean, I don’t make them mean anything about me. I just know it’s just part of it. And I started embracing the discomfort and loving the hard.

Ladies, we do hard work. We are women. We do all the things. We show up. We do the hard work. The difference is we’ve been doing it for everyone else. And now we just need to do it for ourselves. Because when you start loving the hard work and you start embracing the discomfort of losing weight for good, my love, everything will change for you because there is no plan B.

You have to change your mindset and learn how to believe different things if you want to get off this diet rollercoaster. I promise you this, it is not in a food plan or an exercise plan. It is in learning how to use these tools so that you can lose weight for good in a way that you can always do love. No one wants to be on a diet when they’re 75. I know I didn’t. I wanted to be at my best weight in a body that felt good and felt healthy. That’s what I want for my future self.

Okay. So phase five my loves, phase five is the unstoppable boss phase. And this really is where I am now, where some of my ladies are. I have a lot, I have a good amount of ladies in phase five actually. This is where you’re just feeling all the feelings, good, bad. You know, that life is 50 50. And you know, like, Hey, if I enter a challenge, if I have a painful event, if something happens in my life, I got it because you start to have your own back. You trust yourself and you’re showing up for yourself.

You’re committed to learning and failing and growing. You’re connected with your body and you show love to yourself. I tell you this unstoppable boss phase, it is so amazing to be in. And I’ll tell you why, because weight and your body becomes the least important thing in your life. See my love, these phases could work for anything, not just weight loss. Because now I went through all the phases of weight loss, now I’m an unstoppable boss. I’m in maintenance. I feel good. I love my body. Weight and food are the least important thing in my life.

And now I’m moving through the phases in entrepreneurialship in this business. And this is what I’m watching ladies do as they move through these phases and weight becomes a thing in there like rear view mirror, they start just expanding their life. They start dreaming. They start doing things that they never thought they could do. They, their relationships are better than they ever have been. They’re loving themselves and their capacity to love others is just growing at like crazy speeds. That is what the unstoppable boss phase is.

And finding mastery in this work, doing thought work, changing old beliefs that you’ve had, you know, for as long as you can remember and rewriting your story. My love, this is possible for you. This is what I know. I am no different than any other woman. Nope, no different. I’m just a woman. I have done all the things. I have amazing things about myself.

I have lots of flaws and, but this is the thing I just decided to show up, learn this work and start to believe new things. So my love, I know that wherever you’re at. So whether you’re in phase one or you’re in phase five, it is all possible for you.

So the transformational questions are one, What phase are you mostly in right now? And number two, if you’re in phase two or three, what is your next best action to move to phase four?

And if you want to learn more about my tools, take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for good and get off. So good.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

Enjoy the Show?