Facebook Live #55: I am Not Doing What I Think I “Should” be Doing

We are coming up on 100 podcast episodes. Can you believe it? We are going to be doing a really fun contest for our 100th episode. We want to get 100 reviews for the 100th podcast. So, leave the review on Apple, iPhone – and if you don’t have an iPhone, no worries, you can still create an account on iTunes on the computer. You don’t need an Apple product. Go to bflycoaching.com/fun100 and it will give you all the details of how to enter. Once you leave the review, you just submit your name, title of review and your email, and then you will be entered into a drawing for a basket of all my favorite things. I will do the drawing on August 26th, so you will want to have your review in by August 25th.

Also in August I will be doing something I have never done before. I am going to do a Transform Boot Camp. Now I know you ladies are all thinking boot camp? Are we going to get our exercise on? No, not at all. I mean, I love good movement, but I am all about the mind so we are doing a mind set boot camp. You will for sure not want to miss it. Watch your emails and watch the business Facebook page for all the details to come and where you can sign up.

Join me in this episode as we dive into the thought of I know what I “should” be doing. I know how to lose weight, what I “should” be eating, but I’m just not doing it. I’m just not doing it. And then after these thoughts come those thoughts of things like – If I just had more time, if I wasn’t so busy. And this thought that you know what you should be doing because you’ve done all these diets and you’ve been on the diet roller coaster, but you’re not doing it. It’s just a way, my Love that we beat ourselves up. It just makes us feel like there is something wrong with us. That weight will always be our struggle.

But I want to challenge you to listen to that little girl inside of you, wanting you to take care of yourself. We all do hard things. I will teach you how weight loss can be the easiest thing in your life. That it is never about the food. We have to listen to talk to ourselves more than we listen. Listen in as I give you 3 steps to become your biggest supporter.

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course, where I share my experience and the 3 tools that I used to get off the diet roller coaster. All you have to do is click here to learn more!

What You’ll Discover:

  • How all the “shoulds” we tell ourselves is just really beating ourselves up
  • That just because you think a thought does not make it true
  • That we all that have little girl inside of us wanting us to show up for ourselves
  • How to fall in love with yourself again, and to do in a way that feels like love and freedom

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Ep #96: Failing Ahead of Time in Weight Loss

We are approaching our 100th episode and to celebrate we are going to do a couple very special episodes, and also a giveaway – At the end of the show I will share how you can enter the giveaway. We have a goal that we want to hit 100 ratings and reviews in iTunes.  Go to bflycoaching.com/fun100 for all the details to rate the show and be entered into a drawing we will have on August 26. I will be giving away baskets with all my favorite things.

Join me in this episode as we dive deep into how we set ourselves up for failure.  Failing ahead of time is simply – not starting or not going all in on a dream or goal that you have. We tell ourselves things like I don’t know how to lose weight, I will never lose weight, it is too hard, this won’t work anyway.

All these thoughts do is keep us failing ahead of time. Where we don’t even want to start or even try.

In this episode I will teach you a few simple steps to stop setting yourself up for failure. And starting to know how you are failing ahead of time – noticing how you are not even starting or not going all in – is the first step.

How to get honest with yourself so you can get off the diet roller coaster for good.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How putting ourselves off is just setting us up for failure
  • How to get ourselves out of auto pilot
  • How to live in a body you love, that feels like freedom
  • How awareness will stop setting you up for failure

Transformational questions:

  1. How are you failing ahead of time?
  2. What would change for you if you went all in on you?

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 96. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. I’m always so happy to be back with you. Today we’re going to get into failing ahead of time and, you know, as always it’s going to be a good one. This is something I struggled with for so many years, and it still rears its ugly head with me for sure. So if you are loving the show, please rate and review the show and also make sure you subscribe so I’m on your list every Wednesday morning. I read every single review. I love the reviews. And later on in the episode, I’m going to tell you about how you can be entered into a giveaway.

But first, love, let’s talk about rain. It has been a raining here in Arizona and I have to say it has been nice. Usually rain comes honestly in Arizona and mostly it comes at night for like a couple of hours. We don’t get a ton of rain here obviously, we live in the desert, but every once in a while we’ll get these, I mean really when I say once in a while, I’m like once every couple of years we get these stretches of rain. I have to say it has been amazing. It’s been raining for a day and a half, which is so strange to me.

Like every time, even if it’s light rain. And I know so many of you are all over the country, all over the world and you know, you get lots of rain, but it’s not like that here in Arizona. So I do have to say it’s perfect timing actually, because I feel like I need rest. And I have to say when it is raining, because we’re always sunny here in Arizona, it makes me want to cuddle up with Paul and just rest and binge watch some TV. Ooh, I love it. I really do need to rest. My body has been telling me lately, Shannan, you need to slow it down. We have a lot of things happening right now and my body needs it.

We’re preparing for our member only event in Transform it’s called Unstoppable Live. And honestly, I can’t believe it’s going to be here in less than two weeks as I record this. I get to spend two days with my ladies teaching, coaching, watching breakthroughs. I just cannot wait. These ladies are showing up for themselves. They’ve invested in themselves. They have decided that they’re worth spending two days on themselves.

I mean, these ladies they’re just unstoppable. All my ladies are. And you are too my love. We are approaching our hundredth episode and to celebrate it we’re doing a couple very especial episodes and I’m also doing a giveaway. You know me, I love giveaways. So at the end of this show, I’ll share with you how you can enter the giveaway. Oh, so fun.

So let’s get into today’s topic. Do you find that you put yourself off? Meaning you just go through life, checking things off your to-do list, eating all the things, just living in your automatic brain, mostly on autopilot. This is a very important question to ask because I did this for so long. I mean all my life, seriously.

Losing weight, being fit was on my mind. It was there, even if it was in the back of my mind. I wanted so badly to show up for myself. I tried lots of things, but often I would stay in confusion about it. I would fail ahead of time. See my love failing ahead of time is simply not starting or not going all in on a dream or a goal that you have.

I would tell myself things like, I don’t know how to lose weight. I’ll never lose weight. It’s too hard. This won’t work anyways. These kept me failing ahead of time, where I would not even begin, or I would give a half-hearted try if even that, because I had so much fear of failing, failing in front of others. I didn’t want to be vulnerable.

Put myself out there because what would others think? What shame I would feel if I failed again in front of my family, friends or coworkers. I had failed so many times on so many diets. I had gained and lost hundreds of pounds. And I just got to a point over and over again where I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want the shame of it all.

See, it’s easy to cross the finish line in our minds, to picture ourselves losing weight, showing up for ourselves. We have these fantasies. I had this fantasy in my mind, my whole life of who I would be when I finally lost the weight. We tell ourselves we’re going to do it. And then it gets hard. Or we have to say, I’m not hungry for the cupcake to a family member. And we just give up. We don’t want to do the hard things because we tell ourselves that we can’t. I see this with ladies all the time. They want to show up for themselves. They want to lose weight so badly, but then these thoughts creep in. So they don’t start. They don’t go all in.

They fail ahead of time. They tell themselves that this won’t work. I can’t change my mindset. My thoughts, I can’t do this work. I am so busy. Then they live in this mind H E double hockey sticks of wanting to lose weight so badly and not doing anything about it.

It is such a hard place to be. I lived in this drama in my mind for most of my life, wanting to lose weight and not doing anything about it. See, when you tell yourself I can’t, I don’t know how, it won’t work, you feel frustrated, confused, sad. Then your brain is like, we need a dopamine hit.

I don’t want to feel all this. And you find yourself eating, buffering so you don’t have to feel anymore. So you can go back into autopilot. One of the ways I had to stop failing ahead of time was to get honest with myself. What was really hard about staying in a body that carried extra weight, that I did not want. Honest about how much effort I was really putting into it.

And how often I was just failing ahead of time, not taking any action on my dream of living in a body that I loved that felt like freedom. I was on the diet roller coaster for 38 years almost. I did try all the things, but probably 5 to 10% of that time I was actually doing the work or showing up for myself, taking small steps forward. The other 90 to 95% of the time I was in autopilot, eating all the things, feeling sorry for myself, telling myself that I couldn’t do it. Honestly, just playing in the puddle. When I lost weight for the last time, I just increased that 5 to 10% a little at a time.

I got honest with myself, loved myself through the failures, and learned from them. Kept pulling myself into awareness, out of autopilot. I learned how to show up for me and really understood why I wanted it, why I wanted to live in a body that felt like freedom. When I watch my ladies in Transform, my bosses, I watch them just keep learning and growing. They keep increasing the percentage that they show up for themselves.

They’re getting coached, changing their mindset. They’re changing from the inside out. And it is absolutely an honor to watch it. See just starting to know how you’re failing ahead of time, noticing how you’re not even starting or not going all in, it is the very first step. I want to give all of you ladies who are not in Transform yet, I’ll say yet because I can’t wait till you come in, a few steps. Now, if you’re in Transform, we talk about this. We coach to it. We have tools. We have lots of things on this, but I want to give you ladies who are not yet with me as a client, a few steps to stop setting yourself up for failure.

Number one, bring awareness to it. I love this book, The Big Leap. It’s one of my favorites, by Gay Hendricks. And he always says shine a light on it. So just bringing awareness to what is actually happening, the reality of what is going on. What’s your percentage of time that you’re actually showing up for yourself.

And then number two, take one small step. It could be as simple as listening to this podcast, making a realistic plan, doing some reflection, work, increasing your, you know, sleep or water. You can find all of these episodes in this podcast that will give you all of these kind of some of these tips and tools, but just choose one and take one action forward.

And then number three, love, have a little faith in you. Start to believe and change your thoughts about what is possible for you. That you can figure this out. You are going to. You are figuring this out because love, you figured out so many things. And I have to say I’m so excited because in September in Transform, we are going to, we do book clubs. We do them, oh, I don’t know, three or four times a year, and in September is our next book club. And we’re doing a book by Marie Forleo and it’s called Everything is Figureoutable. And you know, I love this concept, that, and I tell myself this a lot. I can figure it out. Even when my brain is like, you’re failing and it’s not working and all the things, I just know that I have tons of evidence that I can figure it out.

And number four, allow yourself to fail. Allow it to be hard and just take the next best action for you.

So the transformational questions are one, how are you failing ahead of time? And number two, what would change for you if you went all in on you? So good.

And my love, we are doing a big giveaway for our hundredth episode. So when you leave a written review for this podcast on apple or iTunes, you can place yourself into a drawing for a basket of my favorite things. It is going to be stocked full of my favorite things. I’m telling you, you’re going to love it. We will draw on August 26 and I’m going to do the drawing live on Facebook, on my business page BFLY Coaching. So if you don’t have an iPhone, no worries, I have instructions on how to create an apple ID so you can leave a review on iTunes. I want all of you to be able to participate in this. So go to bflycoaching.com/fun100, F U N 1 0 0.

And if you want to learn more about my tools, take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the very last time. So good my love. Bye.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

Ep #95: Losing Weight When You Don’t Have Any Evidence That You Can

We are coming upon our 100th episode! Can you believe it? So, we are going to have an amazing 100th episode, and we are going to do some fun stuff.  I want to involve you and make it fun and do a giveaway.  We have a goal that we want to hit 100 ratings and reviews in iTunes.  Go to bflycoaching.com/fun100 for all the details to rate the show and be entered into a drawing we will have on August 26. I will be giving away baskets with all my favorite things.

We are also having a fun July Challenge starting July 25. You will for sure want to register.  You can go to bflycoaching.com/julyfun. 

Join me in this episode as we dive into this thought we have around losing weight without any evidence that you can.

Our brains are biased and always searching for the evidence. If we say “I can’t lose weight” our brain will serve up all the evidence on why we can’t, all the failed attempts. For many of us, we don’t have a lot of evidence that we can be successful. All we see are the failures.

It all starts with the belief that we can have faith in ourselves. It starts with simple steps and some trust in yourself – Belief without evidence.

Listen in as I teach you a tool we have in Transform, just a simple little step to lead to your success to lose weight for the last time. 

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How our brains are biased and always looking for the evidence
  • How to challenge yourself on all the evidence
  • That you don’t need evidence that you can lose weight for the last time

Transformational questions:

  1. What evidence do you already have that you can lose weight for the last time?
  2. If you don’t have any direct evidence, what are other areas of your life that you can pull that evidence from?

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

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Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 95. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. Ooh. I’m so happy to be back with you. Today, we are going to dive into this thought we have around losing weight without any evidence that you can. It is going to be a good one. And also, if you are loving the show, please rate and review the show. Also make sure you subscribe so I’m in your list every Wednesday morning.

And speaking of rating and reviewing, we are coming upon our hundredth episode. And so we are going to have an amazing fun hundredth episode. We’re planning it now. We are going to do some fun stuff. But I want to involve you in it too, and I want to make it super fun. So we are going to do a fun giveaway.

We have this goal that we want to hit a hundred ratings and reviews in iTunes. So whether you have an iPhone or an iTunes, you still can participate because even if you don’t have an iPhone, all you have to do is create an iTunes account on your computer. It’s pretty easy. And we’re going to give you all of the instructions and all of the details, if you go to bflycoaching.com/fun100. And it’s the actual, you know, numbers 1 0 0. So fun 1 0 0. You will have all the details, all of what you have to do and instructions.

And I’ll tell you, ladies, what we’re going to do. Even on there, you can go there to find out how you can rate and review the show. And then also how to submit once you have rated and reviewed the show so that you can get included in this amazing, fun drawing that we are going to have on August 26th. And I am going to give away, I’m going to put together a couple amazing baskets with all of my favorite things. It will be amazing actually, because I have some really fun, favorite things, and I’m going to make these just amazing baskets. And this is the thing. If we, when we hit over a hundred, I’m going to give away an extra basket. I’ll give away three instead of two. So definitely get over and rate and review the show, and then if you go to bflycoaching.com/fun100, you can get all the details for the fun things coming up so that you can be a part of our hundredth episode. A hundred episodes. I know I can’t even believe it.

And my love, if you’re listening to this before July 25th, we have an amazing fun July fun challenge. So if you have never been a part of the five day free challenges, you for sure want to register. We have a blast, and it’s a great way to learn the tools that I teach and just to get a kickstart into your journey. So you can go to bflycoaching.com/julyfun, and we’ll put all of these links in the show notes too, so it’ll be really easy. You can just click the link and all of these links will be there for you.

So ladies, I have to tell you what’s been going on. I want to talk about my granddaughter Annabelle and Annabelle just had her eighth birthday. She is just such a cutie. We had a birthday party over here for her and, you know, it was unicorns and all the fun things that, you know, she loves. And it was just really special to celebrate her. I think she, you know, I think many kids this year has, they’ve had tough years, you know, they were at home most of the year, and then they went back for just a little bit. And then now they’re home again for the summer. And she’s entering that zone of elementary school where, you know, some kids are not the nicest. And so she’s had a little bit of a tough year and it was just so fun to celebrate her.

And one of the gifts that my son and daughter-in-law gave her were horse riding lessons. So Belle loves animals. I mean, she loves them, like loves them. She loves the dogs. She loves animals. Everything that she wants is around animals. She wants to be a veterinarian. She loves animals. And so she had her very first riding lesson and it was just, I mean, oh my goodness, it was so fun to watch her in her own element where she was just having so much joy and, you know, the place that my daughter-in-law took her, you know, had, you know it wasn’t just riding, it was how to take care of the horse, how to scrub her hoof, you know, all of these different things and Belle just loved every bit of it.

And so, you know, I just want to celebrate Annabelle today. I love her to pieces and you know, I’m so proud of her. She can be a little bit shy and she’s lost a little bit of her confidence and it was just so fun to watch her, you know, get that back and to feel good and have joy and do some hard work and love every second of it. And so, I love you Annabelle. So I know, you know, ladies, our kids, our fur babies, our grand babies, we just have so much love for them. They just bring so much joy in our lives.

So let’s get into today’s show. I have been thinking about belief a lot and all of these beliefs that we have and how our brains are wired. Our brains they’re biased and our brains are always searching for evidence. So if we say I can’t lose weight, our brain, Lizzy also known as, will serve up all the evidence on why we can’t. All of the failed attempts. I mean, you know, it’s like this juke box where we have a selection, you know, we can F8, all the failed diets. I have to say, when that plays for me, right? This record in January 2001 – Atkins for the 10th time. Oh, F9 – let’s pull up March 2012 -Weight Watchers failed attempt number 11. This one is good. This record is all about how you did it at work and you failed in front of everyone. Ooh, good. Let’s not do that again.

I tell you ladies, I’m not kidding. This is the voice that comes in my head to tell me about all the things and all the failed attempts. And it’s funny. I talk about Weight Watchers attempt where I did do it at work, and then the next time I didn’t. So even though my work paid for it if I did it on campus, I didn’t, I did it by myself because I had so much shame around failing. So the next time I went off campus and paid for it myself. And it was the last time I ever went to weight Watchers. It just didn’t work for me.

But so my loves, we have all of these old records and they’re just playing in the back of our brains. And for many of us, maybe you, you don’t have the evidence yet that you can maintain weight or lose weight for the last time. And so all that you see is the failures, the diets, maybe all of the negative self-talk that has been just playing in the back of your brain.

So I want to tell you a story. I worked for a company for almost 25 years, and you know, I started there when I was 22 and I loved that company. And then I got this offer to go to another company and another firm, and I did. I have to tell you, ladies, I had no evidence that I could be successful.

I had spent my entire adulthood. I had only had, you know, that job, my first firm. And then before that, I worked at like K-Mart, right, when I was a kid, when I was like, you know, 16 through like 21. And so I wasn’t one who like transitioned through a lot of jobs, you know, I just, I stayed with companies. And so, you know, I didn’t have a lot of evidence that I could be successful. Plus on top of it, I was going as an executive, a senior vice president. I had no evidence that I could be successful, that I could even figure out this really big firm.

And, you know, I remember, you know, when I got the offer and I was deciding on whether or not to go, I had all of these thoughts of like, well what if you fail? What if you don’t know how to do it? You don’t have any evidence that you can go in and be successful. And I tell you ladies this story because, you know, I had to acknowledge all of those thoughts that I didn’t have the evidence. But I had this belief. I had some faith in myself that I could figure it out and that I had enough resilience, enough, you know, knowledge and enough, you know, enough skills to figure it out. And you know, I think about this too when I started this journey to lose weight for the last time, my love, I had zero evidence, zero, that I could maintain my weight for a long period of time. Because I was on the diet rollercoaster. I always went up. I always went down. I always gained weight. I always lost weight. I was always all or nothing. But somewhere in me, I knew that I could figure it out. And I was going to try different things.

 

I was not going to keep going back to the same old diet system, expecting different results. See my love. It just starts with simple steps and some trust, some faith in yourself. It starts with some belief, even though you might not have the evidence. And I want to challenge you on evidence. So our brains, I mean, our brain is constantly scanning for evidence.

So maybe maintaining weight for a long period of time is something that you’ve not done. And so you are like, Shannan, I don’t have the evidence. But I want to challenge that because you do have evidence that you can have success and maybe it’s not weight loss. Maybe it’s your career. Maybe you have evidence that you show up and you do great work and you give your best.

Maybe it’s in the vein of relationships. Maybe you’re an amazing parent or friend or daughter. You show up for others in your life. So you do have evidence some parts of your life where you’ve had success, where you’ve shown up, where you’ve done really hard things. And we need to rely on that evidence and pull that evidence forward. Because remember my love, our brains are wired to show us danger, and change is danger. And so because of this, our brains are always trying to pull us back into the cave, trying to pull us into safety, trying to keep us in bed, watching Netflix, eating cupcakes. I mean, Lizzie is like, please, Shannan, stay in bed, eat some cupcakes let’s watch Netflix.

But my love, we want to live our best life in a body that we love. And so to do that, we have to start finding new evidence so we can start to change some of these old beliefs. And I can’t say this enough, sometimes love, you just need to have a little belief and faith in yourself. Even when Lizzie is telling you all the reasons you can’t.

So to recap, you don’t need evidence that you can lose weight for the last time. You just need to have a little faith and believe that you’re figuring it out. It all starts with one simple step forward. In Transform, we actually just created this success path and it has four different seasons because I believe that in a weight loss journey, or even in your life journey, you go through these different seasons. And season one is all about just the beginnings. And there are some milestones and some direction, and also some very simple steps. And again my love, that’s all that you need, one simple step at a time. So if you’re in Transform, go to season one, start there. And you know, again, we’re always talking about just what’s the next best thing that you can do, the next best action.

Now, if you’re not in Transform a really good place to start, one simple step, is making your realistic plan. Now, if you’re new to me and you don’t know what that is, go to bflycoaching.com/6. And of course, we’re going to cover it in the challenge too. So if you’re listening to this before July 25th, get into the challenge, cause I’m going to teach a lot on this. So one simple step forward, and my love, have a little belief and faith because you do hard things. You have lots of evidence of that, my love, and sometimes we just need to pull it forward.

So the transformational questions today, one, what evidence do you already have that you can lose weight for the last time? And number two, if you don’t have any direct evidence of maintaining your weight, what are other areas of your life that you can pull evidence from where you have been successful and you’ve done really hard things?

And if you want to learn more about my tools, take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the very last time. Okay my loves, have a beautiful, beautiful day.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

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Facebook Live #54: Believable Thoughts That Sabotage Your Success

I am always doing fun stuff for my ladies. We had a 5-day challenge back in May and it was super fun. We had a really great group of women. We are going to be doing another one this month in July, so you won’t want to miss it, you will for sure want to get in. You can register for the 5-day challenge at bflycoaching.com/julyfun.  Also, we are coming up to our 100th podcast episode soon, and we will be doing some fun stuff for that too. A contest, and a drawing and I’m going to put together some beautiful baskets of like my favorite things and some fun, really fun stuff.  

Join me in this episode as I talk about all the believable thoughts that we have. Everything that I teach is around our minds and mindset because, you know, diets don’t work. And the reason they do not work is because you may be able to follow that strict regimen for some time, but then something stressful happens, or you’re even just feeling tired or bored, and you don’t know what to do. You have all these feelings and habits that you’ve had for years, and you just find yourself in the pantry almost automatically.

Now our thoughts are just sentences, just words. They go through our brain all day. And from these thoughts we have feelings, and then we react or do things because of these feelings – like finding ourselves in the pantry looking for something to eat. Join me as I will teach you a better way. How to stop these sabotaging thoughts that just derail your progress. I will give you a tool – a brain hack – that I teach to help you start to break some of these habits.

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course, where I share my experience and the 3 tools that I used to get off the diet roller coaster. All you have to do is click here to learn more!

What You’ll Discover:

  • How to become aware of your thoughts
  • That you deserve to live in a body you love
  • A brain hack tool to help you find freedom from food

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #94: Impossible to Lose Weight?

We are doing a challenge in July, so if you love a good five-day challenge, maybe you’ve done one before, or maybe you haven’t, but you will want to do this one. I love our challenges. You can go to bflycoaching.com/Julyfun and register. The last day to register is July 25th. It’s also the first day of the challenge. And we are going to have a blast.

I have a t-shirt that was given to me by one of my teachers, Brooke Castillo, and it says “Impossible is Temporary,” and I wear it on my walks a lot.

Now this word impossible, the official definition is “not able to occur, exist, or be done;” or very difficult to deal with.

I used to believe that loving my body and losing weight and maintaining weight loss was impossible. I just thought weight loss would always be my struggle. Have you ever felt like this?

Impossible is just a word made up of letters. It does not mean anything until we assign a meaning to it. I know. I really want you to think about that.

What if it was impossible to live in a body that did not feel like freedom? What if it became impossible to keep putting yourself last on the list?

Join me in this episode as we dive deep into learning that it is not impossible to live in a body that you loved.  

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • That impossible is just a word made up of letters
  • How to practice one better thought
  • How to use the word “impossible” to live your best life in a body you loved

Transformational questions:

  1. How have you been lying to yourself about what is possible for you?
  2. What can you practice believing today that will help you achieve your goals?

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 94. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, love. So happy to be back with you. Today we’re going to dive into the impossible. So good. You don’t want to miss this episode. If you’re loving the show, please rate and review the show. Also make sure you subscribe so I’m in your list every Wednesday morning. Love, it has been a good bit since I recorded and so much has been happening. I feel like I miss you ladies.

 

I haven’t been on the podcast. I recorded a couple of them beforehand and usually I record every week. So it feels like a lot has happened. So first we went to lake Tahoe over the 4th of July weekend and it was beautiful. I really do love nature and all of the trees and it was nice to get out of the heat. It was cooler up there for sure.

 

And it’s been very hot in Arizona, like really hot. I mean, it’s that time of the year. So it was nice to get out of the heat. And it was the first time we’ve been on a plane since the pandemic started, since March. We went the very first week of March of 2020. We went to Buffalo on kind of a work/mini vacation trip to Buffalo, New York. And so we had not, Paul and I had not been on a plane since then. And so it was the same other than, you know, we had to wear a mask, but it was all good. And you know, of course everyone was super nice and friendly on the plane. So it was, you know, all good.

 

So Love’s, we are getting ready for our members only event, Unstoppable Live. I can’t believe it’s less than a month away. This is, this event is an in-person and virtual. So I am going to be able to hug some of my ladies. Some of these ladies have been in Transform for over a year and a half. I mean, actually by August, they would’ve started probably following me two years ago and I finally get to hug them.

 

I cannot wait. I can’t wait for my virtual ladies and my in-person ladies. This event, oh, it’s just going to be amazing. We have so many fun things in store for them. I just, I just still can’t believe it’s less, it’s going to be here before we know it and it’s going to go so fast. So I’m trying to enjoy all the moments beforehand too. And love, Ooh, for all of you ladies who are not in Transform, we are doing a challenge in July. So if you love a good five-day challenge, maybe you’ve done one before, or maybe you haven’t. If you have not, you want to do one. I love our challenges. We had, our last challenge was in May and we had so much fun.

 

It was such a great group of beautiful ladies. So you can go to bflycoaching.com/Julyfun and register. The last day to register is July 25th. It’s also the first day of the challenge. So we are going to have a blast. I always love these challenges. It’s a great way to kind of immerse yourself and learn what, you know, I teach and you know how to start to get off the diet roller coaster. So, Ooh, you want to get into that. So we also, I’m just going to do a little kind of spoiler. I’m not going to do a spoiler because I’m not going to tell you what it is, but I am going to give you a little sneak peek of something we’re doing in August.

 

And this is, actually I’ve never done this before. I’m not going to tell you what it is. I know you’re like Shannan. I’m not, but even my ladies in Transform and all of my ladies who are not, this is for all the ladies. And again, this is something I have never done before, and it is going to be amazing.

 

I cannot wait. My team and I have been planning or just getting it going and it’s coming in August. So you do not want to miss this. If you’re not on my email list, if you sign up for the challenge, you’ll get on my email list. And then also of course, listen to the podcast. We’ll make sure that we, you know, put it in here too, because it is going to be amazing.

 

And lastly, I know we have so many exciting things in August. We are going to hit the hundredth episode of this podcast, a hundred episodes. I know I can’t even believe it. So we’re going to do a giveaway. We’re going to do something super fun for the hundredth episode. And so starting in episode 95, I’m going to start to release some of the fun things that we’re going to do coming up in the upcoming episodes. So again, stay tuned. You don’t want to miss it.

 

So let’s get into today’s show. So I have this t-shirt and it was given to me by one of, one of my teachers, Brooke Castillo from the Life Coach School at one of her masterminds. And it says “Impossible is Temporary.” And I was, I wear this t-shirt on my walks a lot. Word impossible. I had this shirt on the other morning and I was taking, you know I love to take my ladies who are in Transform on the walk with me through a live. And I was talking to them about this, the word impossible.

 

Now the definition, the official definition is not able to occur, exist, or be done, or very difficult to deal with. I used to believe that loving my body, maintaining weight loss, living in a body that felt like freedom, I used to believe that it was impossible. I remember being at my heaviest weight, 315 pounds, and feeling like I was walking through mud.

 

I felt heavy. My body hurt. I felt out of control. I remember often crying because I was so frustrated and just that it was impossible to lose weight. I thought weight was always going to be my struggle. I was single at the time too, and I thought it was impossible for me to find love or be loved. When I think of this time, it was a pretty dark time in my life. I remember putting on the smile for everyone at work, even my family, but inside I felt depressed, lonely and sad. This word impossible was at the forefront. I did not believe in me. I had failed so many times at weight loss, it felt almost like desperation, desperate to get out of my own body.

 

Have you ever felt like this my love? Impossible. It’s just a word it’s made up of letters. It does not mean anything until we assign a meaning to it. I know. I really want you to think about that. It does not mean anything until we assign a meaning to it. See my love, I lied to myself. I told myself that it was impossible to lose weight, impossible to find love. I told myself I was not worthy. Not good enough, that I cannot do it. See, our brains. I’m going to give you, this is the spoiler alert on this episode. Our brains are liars. I know what Shannan. Yes. Our brains are liars. See, we have these old records. I like to think of it like a jukebox where it’s like a stack of 45s.

 

Now, if you’re younger and you don’t know what a 45 is, it’s a smaller version of a record. And I like to think of it, like visualize like this stack of 45s. And on the 45, there are labels and the labels are like, you’re not good enough. You can’t lose weight. You can’t love your body. You’ve always failed.

 

And then I have another record that says it’s too hard. And I have to tell you love, my brain loves to play the it’s too hard record. It’s impossible. And these records, oh my love. They just play in the back of our heads, the back of our brains over and over again. And so often they’re just playing in our subconscious.

 

But love, I’m here to tell you that it’s not impossible, not impossible to live in a body that you love, because I used to think that, and now I live in a body that I love. I’ve maintained weight loss for years, and I’m not a special unicorn, just a woman like you with all the things. All the records, all of them,

 

a whole stack. All the responsibilities and all of the doubts and fears. See impossible is just a word. And you can use it to believe that your dreams, your goals are impossible, or you can believe that it is possible. And that it’s impossible that you live in a body that you do not love. You can start to practice a different word, a different sentence. I teach my Transform Bosses to practice one better thought. So instead of I can’t lose weight or it’s impossible to lose weight, one better thought is I’m learning to lose weight. So when that record starts playing just gently replace it with the new title, the new record, just switch it up. I’m learning to lose weight. And love, you can learn how to replace those old 45s with new thoughts that help you achieve your goals and dreams.

I want to leave you with a couple quick questions just to ponder. What if it was impossible to live in a body that did not feel like freedom? What if it became impossible to keep putting yourself last on the list? Or what if you use the word impossible to live your best life in a body that you loved?

 

Ooh, so good. And a couple of transformational questions. One, how have you been lying to yourself about what is possible for you? And number two, what can you practice believing today that will help you achieve your goals?

 

Ooh, my love. And if you want to have a blast and change what impossible means to you in July, join my five day challenge. You can go to bflycoaching.com/Julyfun to register, so you can start to live your best life in a body you love right now. So good my love.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #93: The 3 Types of Hunger and How they Show Up in Weight Loss

Do you find yourself going off the rails at night and overeating?

This is probably just emotional hunger or habit hunger. We have been so disconnected from our body for so long, we don’t even know what hunger feels like in our body.  We have built this wall of weight around ourselves. We think we are hungry, and we don’t realize we are full until we are full and overstuffed – like Thanksgiving stuffed.

Physical is the important hunger. It is when we are truly hungry, when our hormones tell us we are hungry. Ask yourself if a chicken breast would do, and if you can say yes, then you are physically hungry.  If the answer is no, I want the chocolate chip cookie, then it is probably emotional hunger.

Emotional hunger is when we are pushing our feelings down with food. We tie events to food. Nighttime, weekends, celebrations.  If I get upset with my husband, Paul, and I find myself in the pantry, that is just emotional hunger.

You can feel your feelings without acting on them.

Habit hunger are those habits we have tied to food – every day at 2 p.m. we eat a candy bar, that is just a habit. Ask yourself if you are truly hungry, and we get to decide which habit hungers we want to keep.  Habits are just things we created neural pathways for in our brain that we have done over and over again.

Join me in this episode as we dive deep in the differences between physical, emotion, and habit hunger.  

 In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How to tell if your hunger is physical, emotional or habit
  • Life is 50/50
  • You get to decide which hunger habits you want to keep

Transformational questions:

  1. How does “habit” hunger show up?
  2. What habits do you want to continue?
  3. How can you allow yourself to feel a feeling without acting on it?

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 93. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Today, I am going to talk about hunger, and I’ve talked about this one other time, well I talk about it probably here and there and everywhere. But I talked about it back in a previous episode about hunger. But today I’m adding in the third type of hunger. Ooh, it’s so good. So I’m gonna do a recap, but you won’t want to miss this episode, because there is a third type of hunger, and I tell you, I think it’s maybe a, one of the ones that show up most often.

So my love, if you are loving this show, please rate and review the show. Also make sure you subscribe so I’m in your list every Wednesday morning. So I’m getting so excited. Ah, I can’t even stand it. We have an upcoming event in Transform. Unstoppable Live, and it’s August 6th and7th. It’s a two day event. This is my first two day event actually. Mostly I’ve always done one day, but this is a two day event. And this of course is a member only event. And we are sending VIP boxes with all kinds of amazing swag for the ladies. And I just can’t wait. The items keep coming in the mail. I can’t wait.

Every time I get a tracking number, I’m like, oh, I want to see what it is, but oh, we have so much fun for these ladies. The swag is beautiful. Now this event is virtual and in person. I know, it’s the first, I had an in-person event in Dallas in 2019. And of course in 2020, I didn’t have any in-person events. And so this is our first one post COVID. And so I’m so excited and we are like five weeks away. I just cannot wait, one to hug the ladies. But even my ladies who are virtual, I am going to watch them change their life. I just cannot wait. We have so much fun, amazing teaching, coaching. I mean, it’s going to be a transformational event and I just cannot wait for it.

And so my love, I cannot wait. I know I get so excited about this stuff. I’m like, I’m almost like a little bit of a little kid, a little bit like how I, I think of, you know, Jacksy, my a four year old daughter, she gets so excited or Wyatt, yeah, like it’s so excited. I can’t stand it.

So my love, let’s talk about hunger, and you know, oh my loves, I was so, I don’t know if you feel this way, but I was so disconnected from my body for so long. I really didn’t know what hunger felt like in my body. You know, I didn’t like my body and I wasn’t in tune to all of the hormones and the triggers and the sensations within my body.

It’s almost like I had built this wall of weight around myself, and, you know, I felt hungry, I thought I was hungry most of the time. And you know, I didn’t feel the feeling of full until it was mostly too late, when I was stuffed. When I was, you know, that Thanksgiving stuffed, I can’t tell you my loves how many times I had just crazy stomach aches because I went past the feeling of full because I was so out of tune with my body.

And you know, today I’m going to talk about three different types of hunger. And so there is emotional hunger. Oh loves, for most ladies who carry extra weight, it’s a huge trigger. And then of course we have physical hunger, right? I mean, it’s important. Our body is built to tell us when we’re hungry so we can survive. It’s a very important hormone that we have in our body that does tell us when we’re hungry, we have ghrelin and leptin, and it tells us when we’re hungry and when we’re full. And then the third one that when I talk about is habit hunger. Ooh, I know. I can’t wait.

So let’s talk about physical hunger. So my love, we need to eat. We need energy and we need nourishment, and our bodies have a hormone called ghrelin and it tells us when we’re hungry. And it’s a very important thing, physical hunger, you know, as I have learned what it feels like in my body, I think each of our bodies are a little bit different. So this is where you have to become the scientist of your own body.

But really for me, physical hunger, I can almost feel like a flutter in my stomach. If I wait too long, I might feel a little bit light-headed and I can start to feel a little bit of low energy. And so it’s a cue that, you know, I’m physically hungry, and a question I always like to ask myself to decipher, is it physical hunger or emotional hunger is would a chicken breasts do right now? Right? Would a good, you know, bunch of veggies, does that sound good? And if I’m like, yes, and I, I kinda know it’s physical hunger. If you know, my brain is like, no, just the chocolate chip cookie, just the chocolate chip cookie will do, that is that is what you need right now.

Then I kind of know it’s emotional or habit hunger. So physical hunger is our body’s, you know, reaction. It’s a sensation. It’s almost like a warning light, right? If you think of a gauge on a car that you need more fuel, right? It’s kind of like our gas light goes off in our car when we need more fuel. And that is what physical hunger is.

Now, emotional hunger, emotional hunger, my loves. There’s a couple different things with emotional hunger. The first is, you know, we have learned how to push our feelings down with food so we don’t want to feel a feeling. We don’t want to feel upset. We don’t want to feel stressed. We don’t want to feel tired. We don’t want to feel boredom. And so we just push it down with a bag of chips or a cupcake, and we just push it down, push it down. And emotional hunger comes from us, not wanting to experience negative emotion. And so, you know, life my love, I believe is this kind of 50 50 balance. And I think we have days that, of course, that are 70 30 or 30 70, but in the end, it all kind of balances to 50 50.

And so negative emotion, boredom, pain, you know, frustration, anger, you know, all of those emotions are just part of it and we want to escape it. We don’t want to feel it. And so we want this dopamine hit, right? There’s a lot of science, right? Our bodies are science. And so there’s a lot of science in there where our body wants a dopamine hit, and so wants to feel better. And so we get a dopamine hit, especially from highly processed foods, sugar flour. And so, because we get that dopamine hit, and again, we get it right before we eat it.

You know, we crave those things. It feels urgent, right? It feels like, oh, I need to eat this. And so, emotional hunger is, you know, it’s just because we don’t want to feel it. We don’t want to feel all the things. And, you know, I remember always growing up thinking that I wanted to feel happy, I just needed to feel happy. And as I’ve gone along in this journey, and what I teach my ladies in Transform, and what I’ve witnessed with them actually, is that the purpose of our lives is really to feel all of it, to feel all the things, good and bad, and still allow ourselves to sit in that emotion. Without thinking we need to change it, without thinking that it needs to be different.

And so what I can tell you, because this is, you know, this is one of the things I think for even my clients, it takes a lot of practice, is allowing ourselves to experience a negative emotion without acting on it. See, that’s the difference. Before when I felt stressed or bored or, you know, I don’t know, frustrated, or, you know, I’d, you know, get in a tiff with Paul and then I’d be standing in the pantry, right. Or I’d have a stressful day at work, or I would be bored. Right. I would, you know, then go and eat. I’d fill my body, push down those feelings. Now I can have those same emotions. Right.

My life is still 50 50, my loves. And I just don’t act on it. I don’t have to, even though, you know, my body is like go in the pantry, I just know that I can sit and I can process the feeling. And so if you’re in Transform, we do a lot of work around this, and there are several videos and worksheets and Facebook lives and coaching calls. You know, we do a lot of work around this. But if you’re not in Transform, one of the ways that you can feel a feeling is just start to identify what that feeling feels like in your body.

So you can just, you know, for example, anxiety, right? In my body, my heart races, my stomach kind of hurts. My neck feels tight. My shoulders feel tight. And so how to start to process emotion is just start to, you know, in your brain start to think about, okay, what does this, ask yourself this question, what does, what do I feel like in my body? And then you’re going to go down into your body and you’re just going to start, you know, identifying it. I think too, I know some of my Transform ladies, even myself, I like to put a color, like, what does, if this were a color, what would it feel like? So this is just the, again, beginning of how to start to feel emotion.

Now there’s another side to emotional hunger. And it is, you know, we also eat when we feel joy and when we feel happy, and you know this right, we have this trigger that I’m feeling so good right now. I want it to keep going. And so we then eat too, and we, right. And so there’s a kind of both sides of the coin and just really experiencing emotions, whether it’s positive or negative without feeling that you need to eat.

And I tell you my loves, this just takes practice. And I know it’s possible because I tell you, I, for 38 years had weight problems, and I wanted, I was all the weights. I, you know, I would say, I mean, I was, I would go from like 182 to 250 in nine months. I mean, I, I was all over the place. I mean this in all the ways. And so I say this because I’ve now maintained my weight, and I’ve learned how to feel my emotions without acting on them. So I know if I can do it, that it’s possible for you. I really do, because I thought that this was going to be my struggle for the rest of my life. I really did. And now I can feel emotions and come into awareness and not act on them.

Okay. So the third type of hunger is habit hunger. And, oh, my loves, this is where you have a habit and you either eat at certain times, or, you know, certain events, celebrations, it’s just a habit. It could also be situational. So you’re driving down this certain street or you’re going to this certain part of your town. And every time you go there, oh, you know, Swig or, Swig is a cookie shop, a drink and soda shop in Utah here in Arizona. Right. And so you see that and you’re like, oh, I’ve got to have it. Right.

So it could be things like, I think the most common is night eating, right? So every night you want to relax, you’re watching your favorite show and you’re with, you know, your partner or maybe you’re by yourself and you’re feeling a little loneliness. And so you want that nighttime bowl of ice cream, that nighttime bowl of chips or popcorn, or, you know, nuts, whatever it is.

But you just start this kind of habit where every night you’re like, oh, time for ice cream, time for, you know, whatever it is. And it’s just a habit. It has nothing to do whether you physically need it for energy or nourishment. It’s just habit. I think about too, we tie this, right. I mean, this is where we tie events to food.

You know, like Friday night, oh, it’s Friday night, we’ve got to go out to eat or we’ve got to, you know, eat pizza or whatever it is. And again my love, you can, but what I want you to decide is, do you want this? Is this serving you? Is this serving all your goals? And so you get to decide, and it just really starts, you know, the first part of the cheat code is just awareness. Coming into awareness. For me, another big trigger was, you know, I worked, you know, corporate and at two o’clock on my work days, I had a bunch of meetings all day, I’m sure some stress in there, and it became a habit that every day at two o’clock I wanted to go, we had a pantry, and I wanted to go into the pantry and get, you know, a Snickers bar or a bag of chips or whatever it was. And it just was a habit.

I didn’t check in with myself to see if I was actually hungry. I just had this habit. And so, really just becoming aware of what habits. Now, this also can be things like celebrations, it could be every time I get with my family, I’ve got to eat all the things, right. I mean, there’s lots of different habits. And so habit hunger, I think the more that I researched this, the more that I even test this on myself and with my clients in Transform, habit hunger, again, I think is just as powerful as emotional hunger, because we get into these habits of wanting to overeat. And so one of the things that I’ve done for myself is one, become aware. What is my habit hunger? How was it showing up? And then two, deciding which habit hungers I wanted to keep, right? Like for example, in birthday celebrations, I always will put a piece of cake on my plan.

And then I check in with myself, am I hungry for it? Or, and there are times where I’m like, oh, I’m not really that hungry right now, and I don’t eat it. And then there are times where I’m like, yeah, I want some of it, and I eat it. Right. So again, just deciding which habits you want. And one of the things I always try to do is not eat the same things every day. And what I mean by that is, so my husband and I we’ve been lately, yogurt used to not feel really good, but I found this yogurt and it’s just, I don’t know, it feels good in my body. And it has a ton of protein in it.

And so I really am enjoying it and we put a little granola in it. And so my husband and I will have it a couple times a week. Now, what I had to be really careful was I had, right. My body was like, Ooh, every night let’s have this, let’s have this, you know, our yogurt treat. But again, my loves, I don’t want the habit of that. So, you know, if we’re hungry for it or are we, I have had a day where I haven’t had a lot of protein, I will have it. And I don’t just have it at night. Again, this is another way to kind of get you out of the habit.

So again, you know, my yogurt I’ll use that as an example, you know, I won’t just eat it at night. Sometimes I’ll eat it at lunch. Sometimes I’ll eat it and it’ll be our dinner. And so just again, try, cause remember, habits are things that we’ve created neural pathways for in our brain, and we’ve done it over and over again. So any way that you can disrupt that and not create a new habit. Ooh, it’s so good. Okay.

So three types of hunger, physical, that’s the important one. This is our right, because we want to be energized. We want to nourish our bodies. The second one is emotional, and it’s when we don’t want to feel a feeling, whether it’s joy and happiness, or sadness and anger. And so with emotional hunger, it’s just checking in with ourselves, feeling the feeling, allowing the feeling without acting. And then third is habit hunger. And again, this is, you know, there’s lots of habits that we’ve created. It’s just deciding which habits you want to continue and which ones you want to disrupt.

Oh, so good my loves, I love these three different. Now, if you’re in Transform my loves, we have lots of trainings on this and this was part of our setting yourself up for success workshops. So if you miss the workshop, for sure, watch the replay. Again, this is for my transform ladies. And then of course, you know, you can always listen to the Facebook lives too. I talk about it in there too.

So my loves, the transformational questions are one, how does habit hunger show up? And two, what habits do you want to continue? And three, how can you allow yourself to feel a feeling without acting on it? So good my loves.

And if you want to learn more about my tools, take my free course, Transform is currently closed and we are not going to open until September. So you can always go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take my free course and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the very last time. So good my love. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

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Facebook Live #53: My Favorite Lessons from Jon Acuff

I like to make weight loss fun, because weight loss for too long has just been heavy and restrictive.  We love freedom and allowance and learning and growth, and we do failure and we do imperfection. We do all the things. And so one of the things I love to do for my ladies in Transform is a book club, we do them 3 to 4 times a year.  Right now we are doing it on Finish by Jon Acuff. I have read this book many times, and each time I do I get something extra out of it. He has so many tools and tips.  In to this episode I will share two things from the book that I really love.

Join me as I dive deep into how being imperfect is actually perfect. Life is full of challenges, and stress, exhaustion, boredom, loneliness, all the feelings. The day after perfect is what really matters. That is when we decide to quit or do the next best action. The first lie of perfectionism is to quit. I will teach you how to not quit on yourself and how to take the next best action that leads to success.  Jon also says to cut your goal in half or you give yourself more time. How many times do we rush things, we want the results right now.  Listen in as I show you how to cut your goal in half or extend your time. You will learn that perfectionism is a lie and a dream stealer. We are already perfect.

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course, where I share my experience and the 3 tools that I used to get off the diet roller coaster. All you have to do is click here to learn more!

What You’ll Discover:

  • That “the day after perfect is the most important day”
  • How to cut your goal in half
  • That perfectionism is just a lie, a dream stealer

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

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