Ep #105: How to Believe New Things 2.0

Ep #105: How to Believe New Things 2.0

We are in a 2.0 series and this episode of the podcast, we are going to up-level our reflection work. I am going a little deeper on how you can start to believe new things.

Over these next 3 episodes, I am going to teach you how your brain is wired, how to believe new things, how to do a realistic plan so you can break your old diet beliefs and brain, and how to start trusting your body again and reconnecting with it so you can feel hunger and fullness. 

I am going to meet you right where you are at. I am going to teach you how to stop fearing food and lose weight where you meet yourself where you are at. I am going to teach you how to lose weight with love and allowance, instead of punishment and restriction.

We are going to stop this diet trauma – and I need to be perfect.

Join me in this episode as I am diving deep into Reflection work – this is not journaling. Reflection work is where the mindset change comes from. It is a daily practice of dumping out your thoughts on paper, asking yourself questions like why, and what is keeping me stuck?

You will learn what a TFA cycle is and how to use it to change your thoughts.

If you want to hear more on Reflection also listen to podcast #19 – bflycoaching.com/19.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • Just because you have a thought, it does not make it true
  • When we feel a negative emotion we do not take positive action
  • Reflection work is where the mindset change comes from
  • How to use a TFA cycle to up-level our thoughts

Transformational Questions/Actions:

  1. What are your limiting beliefs/thoughts?
  2. Do a thought dump.
  3. Pick one thought to do a OW and then a BFLY TFA cycle on.
  4. Practice your new BFLY thought.

And if you want to take this work deeper, then take my free course. Go to bflycoaching.com/join.

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 105. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. So we are in a 2.0 series and today we are going to up-level our reflection work. I’m going to go a little deeper on how you can start to believe new things. Oh yes. It’s going to be good my love.

 

But first I want to do a listener shout out, and this week’s listener shout out is to 0914Carly. I’ve been listening to the podcast for almost a year now. Shannan has helped me learn tips and techniques about how to change my thoughts around food. It’s been a life changing year for me. Thank you, Shannan. Ah, thank you so much 0914Carly. She left that on iTunes.

 

And I tell you, this work is life changing and I watch it every day with my Transform bosses, but I tell you when you start to believe new things, everything else just starts to change for the better. So if you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show. Also subscribe. You can do that by hitting the follow button or clicking the plus sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you’re listening. This way, every Wednesday I’m just in your library.

 

So love, woo. It has been a full week. As I am recording this, we are finishing a challenge, and our launch week. It has been the most amazing challenge. I did some different things in this challenge. I extended it; I usually do five-day challenges and I made it an eight-day challenge. And oh, I just have watched women show up. We have over 3000 ladies who signed up for the challenge, and it has just been amazing to watch. Amazing to watch them show up for themselves, to come to the calls, to do the work. It is really my favorite, one of my favorite things to do. And I tell you, outside of my family, really watching women show up for themselves and learn this work it just, I don’t know, every time, I’ve been in tears multiple times this week, because I’m just so inspired by all of these ladies.

 

And, you know, Transform is closing, as I record this tomorrow. But when you’re listening to this Transform will be closed. We’ll open back up again in 2022. And I tell you, I can’t wait for the next three months. I am going to just dig in with all of my Transform bosses and you know, I can’t wait to watch their transformations. It has been, I don’t know, just an honor. I can’t think of any other word, to be a part of their journey and their transformation. So I just can’t wait. I can’t wait. We have so many fun things planned for all of our bosses. It is going to be the best holiday season.

 

So onto today’s show. This is my favorite topic. It is. Believing new things. See my love. We have all of these old beliefs, thoughts, sentences really that just go around in our brain like a thousand times a day. And this has been happening our whole life. We have created a bazillion neural pathways and they’re stored in our habit brain.

 

If we have a hard day feeling stressed, the next thing we know we’re sitting at the Dunkin drive-thru like what happened? And it feels automatic. We have so many automatic thoughts that it can feel like we’re out of control. Like we’re living someone else’s life. Have you ever felt this way? We don’t even recognize our own life any longer.

 

If you are a woman living today then you probably have been programmed with tons of diet beliefs, beliefs about your capabilities, about your worth, about your ability to lose weight, what your body looks like. I mean I could go on and on. See my love, diet culture teaches us to restrict and to feel bad. Diet culture gives you short-term fixes, when all that does is keep you on the diet rollercoaster, believing you can’t lose weight and are destined to be overweight.

 

You know the old saying, “eat less, move more?” Well, one, I really dislike that saying, but it keeps you feeling like you’re not enough. Like something is wrong with you. Then you feel shame, disappointment, and then you want to eat, because you have these thoughts like I can’t do this anyways, I might as well enjoy myself.

 

Over the next three episodes, I am going to teach you how the brain is wired, how to believe new things, how to do a realistic plan so you can break your old diet beliefs and that diet brain, and how to start trusting your body again and reconnecting with it. So you can feel hunger and fullness. I’m going to meet you right where you are at.

 

When I first started losing my weight, I did not stop at full that’s for sure. I did not eat the way I do today. I had to start taking small steps forward. When people lose weight from restriction and diet plans they lose the weight, but they did not practice how to eat their favorite foods. So they lose weight and then they don’t know how to eat a cupcake. So they fear it, and eventually binge on it. I mean, my love really take that in. We have done this, I did this so many times. I would either fear food or I would just give in and eat all the things. What I’m going to teach you, and what I’ve been teaching you through the podcast is how to stop fearing food and lose weight where you meet yourself right where you’re at.

 

Diet trauma is what we’ve all been through. We have been told that we’re not good enough, that we need to restrict and fear of food. We’ve been told that we’re not in control, and that we have to live on a thousand calories and over exercise. I’m going to teach you how to lose weight with love and allowance instead of punishment and restriction.

 

When I decided to lose weight before I made another change I asked myself, can I do this forever? I needed to do things that I would not quit. I up-leveled and took small steps forward. That is how I lost weight for the very last time. I eat all the foods. I don’t count anything. I have a really simple process that has helped me lose weight for the last time.

 

And I have been in maintenance for years. We are going to stop this diet trauma. The whole, I need to be perfect, I need to cut out sugar or carbs, I need to morph into this whole new person. My love, this is why you keep quitting. You tell yourself that you have to be perfect. And then when you can’t be, you feel bad, and then you don’t like that feeling, so you quit. I am going to teach you how to take small steps forward and learn how to commit to yourself. You’re going to practice small steps so you can keep moving forward. You are going to get rid of all the BS food rules and beliefs, because they are nonsense. They keep us stuck.

 

They keep you on the diet rollercoaster. They keep you stuck or even moving backwards. I will never forget when I learned just because I had a thought does not make it true. I just want you to sit with that for a moment. See, we believe all of the stuff going on in our brains. All the old diet beliefs, diet rules.

 

But when I started to challenge that, everything started to change. When I really understood that statement, things started to change for me. I watch this in my Transform bosses on a daily basis. I started to challenge my old beliefs and thoughts. See, all of your old beliefs are just that – old beliefs. They are just programming from how you were brought up, and you can believe different things.

 

Kind of like when I started losing weight, I did not believe I could lose weight for good. I thought it was always going to be my struggle. And now it’s not. Food is the least interesting thing in my life. And I’ve maintained my weight for years. Now I want to give a brief overview of the brain, and I’ve taught this in previous episodes, but you know, I love talking about the brain. So I’ve a quick overview. We have three parts of our brain that I want to talk about.

 

The first one is our primitive brain, and this is what I like to call Lizzie. This is our impulsive, our flight or fight response. This part of our brain is, you know, I love Lizzie, but you know, she likes to get me in trouble. And then we have a second part of our brain, which is our automatic brain. This is where all of our habits are stored. It’s kind of like, have you ever driven to work or driven to somewhere that you go all the time and you got there and you don’t even remember how you drove there? That’s the automatic brain. Because remember, our brain likes to conserve energy. And because of this, so many of our old thought patterns, our habits, they’re just stored in this automatic part of our brain. And then the third part of our brain is the prefrontal, which I like to call the thinking brain. This is our higher level brain. This part of the brain is responsible when we make a decision.

 

When we plan ahead of time. This part of our brain really does have our future selves in mind, our best selves in mind. And see these three parts of our brain work together. Now what’s important is that 90 to 95% of your day, your primitive and your automatic brain, Lizzie and your habit brain, are in charge. And so sometimes when you’re feeling like Shannan, this is just happening. I don’t know, the next thing I knew I was in the pantry. A lot of that is because of all that old programming, all of those automatic habits that are just there. And anytime that we can get into our thinking brain, then we’ll make better decisions. And my love we’re just like robots. I know I’m talking right to you.

 

I’m talking to you. I know, hear me. You walk around like a robot, checking things off your to-do list, getting everything done for all the other humans. And once in a while, you show up for you. And I tell you loves, we have just done things so many times over and over again, we forget that we are a part of the process . We matter.

 

And so what I want to do in this first of the three-part series is really start to focus on what you’re thinking and believing. Because our thoughts create our results. So everything that we have in our life, our results, our outcomes are caused by our thinking. And I know, I tell you love, I know I used to think it was all the things, all the humans, my mother, my spouse, my growing up, you know, all the things. But as I do this work more and more, I just know that whatever the circumstance is, I get to choose what I want to believe about it, what I want to think. And when I start changing the way that I think and believe my results change.

 

And the easiest way to start to bring yourself into awareness, to start to use that thinking brain more is to ask yourself a question, because then your prefrontal, that thinking brain, that is the part of your brain that will answer, not Lizzie. Lizzie, she likes, you know, I love Lizzie, but she like, she can get me in trouble. And so I say this because it’s so important to understand what is happening in your brain.

 

What are the thoughts? What are the beliefs? This is why reflection work is so important. Now you can hear more on episode number 19. It’s not journaling. It’s not a history of my day. Reflection work is just a dump of my brain. I like to call it a thought down. I just start writing, asking myself questions, like why,

 

what is keeping me stuck? How am I feeling? Why did I ….? Why did I overeat? Why did I not show up for myself? Why did I not get sleep? And asking myself these questions and writing them down, it really helps to start to become aware of what’s happening in my brain. And then I do what I like to call a thought feeling act cycle.

 

I’ve studied this work from many thought leaders. I mean, so many of them, like Byron Katie’s work, Brooke Castillo’s work, you know, Eckhart Tolle. And what I want to teach you today is just a very simplified version of a three-part process. It’s called the thought feeling act cycle. See, overweight thinking, right, all those beliefs about, I can’t lose weight, it is hard, I don’t have time, you know, I don’t want to, you know, restrict, I’ve never been able to lose weight. That is what I like to call OW thinking – overweight thinking, and it just keeps you stuck believing the same things. And so when you have the thought, let’s stay with one like, it is hard to lose weight. When you think that you can feel things like frustrated, disappointment, discouraged. And when you’re feeling those, like discouraged, right, what you do or don’t do, how you act for the most part, you don’t show up for yourself. You overeat, you snack you, you know, right. Those are the actions that you take when you’re feeling discouraged.

 

Right? When we feel a negative emotion, we don’t take a positive action. This is really important. I’m gonna say it again. When we’re feeling negative emotion, we don’t take a positive action. So when we’re feeling discouraged, when we’re feeling frustrated, then we act in that way. So we overeat, we buffer, we watch Netflix, we scroll Facebook. And it’s all because we just don’t want to feel that way anymore.

 

And so our brain is like, please give me a dopamine hit. I don’t want to feel this anymore. I don’t want to feel discouraged. And so our brain starts taking us over here to what we do. We want comfort. And for all of us, ladies who have struggled with our weight, comfort is in a cupcake or a bag of chips.

 

And because of this, we repeat this think, feel, act cycle over and over again. We think it’s hard. We feel discouraged. And then we act, and we overeat. Now the next part of this process is starting to redesign your overweight thinking to what I like to call BFLY thinking. BFLY my love.

 

And this is the next version of yourself thinking. If you think I can’t lose weight, then what I want you to do is think of a one-better thought. So this is what I like to call it. Just one level up. And so if you think I can’t lose weight, a one-better thought might be, I’m learning how to lose weight.

 

This is really important in redesigning your thinking, because you don’t want to go to, you know, rainbows and daisies and fairytales, because Lizzie will be like, no, we don’t believe that. So any thought that you’re going to start to practice, I want you to really go into yourself and ask yourself, can I start to believe this?

 

See, when I was doing this work, I’ll take you back to when I was doing this work on my body, I wanted to love my body. Where I started I really, I would say hated my body. I really did. I had a lot of thoughts about it. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the loose skin, the stretch marks, you know, all the things I didn’t like. And so when I started, that’s where I was. I couldn’t just overnight start to believe and say, I love my body. Lizzie would be like, no way Shannan, you don’t like anything about it. So I had to start with a one-better thought, and the one better thought was I have a body.

 

And then I kept moving up to another one-better thought after that, which was, I produced a human in this body. And I just kept up leveling until I now really truly love this body. Because this work takes time my love.  There’s no flipping on the light switch and the light comes on and I’m fixed. I’m changed. It’s not how it works.

 

It’s just this process of doing the think, feel, act cycle over and over again imperfectly. So now what I want you to do is to do a thought feeling act cycle on one of the thoughts that one of your limiting beliefs, one of the thoughts that are keeping you stuck, and then I want you to turn it into BFLY thinking.

 

Remember just a one-better thought, no sunshine and rainbows. I am learning. That’s my tip for you. Whenever I’m struggling to find a thought that I can start to believe I just put “I am learning” in front of it and it just releases the pressure, and I can start to believe that I am learning. So now the next step after you write that down, right, you’re overweight thinking T F A cycle, right? Thought feel act to your BFLY, this is what I want to believe, right? This is what I want to think. And when I think this, this is how I feel. And then this is what I do or don’t do. I want you to practice this new thought.

 

So let’s just say you had a thought I can’t lose weight. And your one-better thought is I’m learning how to lose weight. Then what I want you to do is just start to practice it. So let’s say, you’re going through your day tomorrow and, you know, you have this thought like, oh, I’m frustrated. This is too hard. I really want to eat this cupcake, you know, or whatever it is for you. And you’re just, you know, you’re feeling frustrated. I just want you to take a deep breath. And then I just want you to gently replace it with learning how to lose weight. And what happens is you’ll notice the feeling in your body will change and then you will act differently.

 

And this is the process. When I’m practicing a new thought or belief I put it in my phone so it pops up throughout the day. I’ll put it on a post-it note, you know, on my screen, on my refrigerator, wherever I can see it, in my car, because I want it to be top of mind. So while I’m practicing a new belief, I want to practice it over and over again.

 

Then it becomes automatic. And it goes into my automatic brain. This is so important. When we do this work, right, we do a thought and then we see how we feel, and then we ask ourselves, how do I act? Right? And when you turn it into a BFLY thought, right, your thought feeling act cycle, this is so important, for it to change, for you to start to really believe this next thought you have to practice it.

 

This is so important. I remember when I first started doing this work, I was doing like thought feeling act cycles all day long. I would be doing them, you know, great. And I was moving on to all these different thoughts, but I never practiced any of them. And how it becomes automatic is you practice it over and over again.

 

So I want you, as you do a thought dump, as you do your reflection work, dump out your brain and then take one thought and then practice that over and over again. And then, you know, maybe add in another one, but don’t do too many at once, and just really practice it because that is how it becomes a new neural pathway and becomes part of your automatic thinking.

 

Because when you have new beliefs and you have more of this BFLY thinking, my love, your results will change. You will start acting differently. You will start feeling differently. And when you start feeling different, you start doing different things. You start showing up for yourself. Love, this work is the most powerful work. Reflection work is where the mindset change comes from.

 

It is a daily practice of dumping out your thoughts on paper. Then choosing one to do a thought feeling act cycle on. It’s not journaling, and you’re just then going to do an overweight. And then if you feel good, you can change it to a BFLY, and then just practice that new BFLY thought over and over again. S

 

o the transformational questions and actions are one, what are your limiting beliefs and thoughts that are keeping you stuck on the diet roller coaster? Two, do a thought dump, put it on paper. Three, pick one thought and do an overweight thought feeling act cycle, and then redesign it to a BFLY thought feeling act cycle. And four, practice your new thought. Anytime you have a thought that comes in, just gently replace it and just again, talk to yourself more than you listen to yourself.

 

And if you want to take this work deeper than take my free course, go to bflycoaching.com/ready. Bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

 

Facebook Live #60: The Trauma of Diet Culture

Facebook Live #60: The Trauma of Diet Culture

Let’s talk about diet trauma. Most of us grew up in a culture that is very youth focused, very size zero focused, very this is what you should look like, this is what you should eat, this is healthy and this is not.  We have all done the counting points and calories. Low fat, and then high fat. I mean all the things! At any given time, there are 52 different diet plans out there of what you “should” eat. And then there’s also the exercise.

All this has done is keep us focused on the outside – the outside of our bodies. Food plans and exercise that we don’t enjoy. It is only keeping us from paying attention to what’s happening on the inside.

We have trauma from diet culture and to lose weight for the very last time we have to go back inside. We have to learn how to identify what’s happening in our beautiful brains, how to identify these beliefs that we have that are keeping us stuck. We have to start paying attention to our body.

How many times as a kid when you had a stressful day or something bad happened were you offered food to “make you feel better?” Here’s your treat. Overeating has just become a coping mechanism.

Join me in this episode as I teach you a better way to cope. How to handle all those hard emotions without turning to the cupcake.

I want you to lose weight with love – love for food, love for yourself, and love for your body.

Are you ready to break the diet culture?

If you are ready to finally get off the diet rollercoaster, Transform is open right now for the last time this year. We are open until September 27th – you will want to make sure you get in so you get some extra bonuses! Go to bflycoaching.com/join to get in.

What You’ll Discover:

  • How we have trauma from the diet culture
  • How to fall back in love – with yourself, and how to lose weight with love
  • That losing weight is an inside job

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?

Facebook Live #59: Fear of Failure and Judgement

This is an exciting week for us in Transform. We are open right now through the 27th for the last time this year. I really like to spend the last few months of the year with my Transform Bosses and you know, I don’t power down at the end of the year. I like to finish the year strong, and we’re going to welcome in a whole big bunch of new ladies and help them learn to lose weight for the very last time. Go to bflycoaching.com/join.

Join me in this episode as I talk about our fear of judgment and our fear of failure. You can also listen to the last podcast to learn more at bflycoaching.com/104.

Let me tell you a story about my own experience. Even once I was in maintenance and had lost my weight, I still had this fear of judgment of others. I had this thought that kept coming up of what if I lose my weight but then I look like a “skinny fat” person with all my loose skin? It would end up leading to me sabotaging my success and causing me to take a few steps backward.

And while each of us our different, we still have those fears of others judging us, and we start thought looping, and the feeling most associated with all of this is shame.

Shame is a very powerful emotion, and it can keep us paralyzed. It can make us forget our dreams, and we just end up living in bodies we do not love.

No one will ever judge us as much as we judge ourselves.

I can teach you how to come into awareness, so you can get off the diet rollercoaster for good.

We all have this little girl inside of us, nudging us, telling us she can help us, that she has been here all along. She is just waiting for you to take that first step, and that you are worthy and lovable and that no number on a scale decides any of that.

Decide to take that step today and come join us in Transform!

What You’ll Discover:

  • How shame can just keep us paralyzed
  • How to get your confidence back
  • How that little girl inside of all of us can help us to take action

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #104: The Fear of Judgement 2.0

I can’t even believe it is almost October – time really is flying so fast. This podcast is launching when we will be in our Transform WLP opening week. We are open right now, we opened on September 21st, and will only be open until September 27th. This will be the last time to join for the remainder of the year, so, make sure you get in!

I like to spend the last 3 months of the year with my Transform Bosses, helping them through the holidays and finishing the year strong. You can go to bflycoaching.com/join to learn more.

Join me in this episode as we continue our 2.0 series where I am going a little deeper on some topics I have taught here in the podcast before. I am going to teach about the fear of judgement. I first introduced the concept of how fear shows up in episode 5, you can go back and catch that one if you have not: bflycoaching.com/5

The idea for today’s episode came from Jenn Taylor, one of my Transform Weight Loss coaches. She was thinking about the judgement of others and how we are so afraid of it.

Judgement – we think we know what others are thinking, maybe we have judged others. But judgement comes from how we think of ourselves.

What happens is when we are afraid of what others might think, we live a very dull life – we don’t take chances, we don’t live our best lives.

Listen in as I dive deep into how this judgment keeps us from showing up for ourselves, and how to turn that around and be aware of how that judgment shows up as fear.

I will teach you how to be aware of these fears and to understand them.

Are you ready to let go of your fear of judgment? You get to decide what you want to think – you are in control!

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How to lose weight for the last time without fear of judgment
  • How shame drives so many of our actions
  • You get to decide what you want to think – you are in control!

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. Get honest about your fear of failure – What are the thoughts you are thinking about losing weight for the last time?
  2. Decide on purpose what you want to think and believe about your weight loss journey
  3. Decide you can feel shame – it will be ok; no feeling has killed you
  4. Decide to get past the fear of judgement – because the only opinion that matters is yours. When you love yourself – nothing else matters.

And if you are ready to take this work deeper and let go of the fear of judgement and want my help, then join my membership Transform Weight loss program. You can learn more at bflycoaching.com/join

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 104. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

So happy to back with you. So we are right now in the middle of a 2.0 series where I’m going a little deeper on some topics that I’ve taught here in the podcast before. Today, I’m going to teach about the fear of judgment. I first introduced the concept of how fear shows up in episode five. You can go back and catch that one if you’ve not, it’s at bflycoaching.com/5.

 

But before we get into today’s show, I want to give a listener shout out, and this is to Lori Fox. This podcast has changed my life because it led me to the Transform Weight Loss group. Even though I’m in Transform and indulge in all the goodness too, I still come to these podcasts for daily guidance. I listen to them while working around the house, driving, or mowing the lawn. I love it. It’s become my time to myself and for myself. Listening to these really helps me focus on me and my goals and really touches every single aspect of life, not just weight loss. I have lost weight, but there’s so much more to it than that. Before learning from Shannan, I thought weight was my “main fault,” but now I truly love my body, which I didn’t think was possible until I reached my goal. I have better relationships and better overall thoughts, all while not settling and continuing to improve myself. Everything about the podcast, Transform and Shannan, I feel was really meant to be. I’m still a work in progress and looking forward to my future and my goals with no more shame from my past. Thank you Shannan.

 

And her title of her review is this is more than weight loss. Oh Lori, Lori. You know, Lori is a young mom and you know, I’ve watched Lori and her journey and I’m just so proud of her. You know, she’s a busy wife, mother, you know, she works. She has, you know, lots of interests and she’s doing lots of things and she still showing up for herself. And I love me some Lori. And I’m so proud of you, Lori.

 

If you find what you learn here valuable listening to the show, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show. You can also subscribe. You can do that by hitting the follow button or clicking on the plus sign if you’re in Apple, or hitting the subscribe button wherever you’re listening. This way, every Wednesday I’m in your library.

 

My love, can you even believe it is almost October. Time is flying so fast. When this podcast is launched, it will be when Transform Weight Loss program is open and we’re opening on September 21st and closing on September 27th for the remainder of the year. And honestly, I can’t believe we’re here.

 

We’re in the middle of a challenge. We have so many things going on and we’re getting ready to close Transform for all of 2021. I like to spend the last three months of the year really digging in with my Transform bosses, helping them through the holidays and finishing the year strong. I don’t power down at the end of the year. I just like to spend it with all my ladies in Transform. Of course, every week I’ll still be here on the podcast. Now, if you want to learn more about Transform, go to bflycoaching.com/join, J O I N, to learn more.

 

Winter is coming my love. I love thinking about that. And I’m so excited. If you’ve ever watched Game of Thrones you know that saying, I know many of you listening, grieve a little as you think about winter coming, you are going to miss summer. But it is the opposite for me. I opened my door this morning and it was only 72 out. I felt a little breeze. It gets me excited for fall and winter. I love hiking with Paul and getting outdoors. I just cannot wait.

 

So let’s get into today’s show. The idea for today’s episode actually came from Jenn Taylor, one of my Transform Weight Loss coaches. She was thinking about the judgment of others and how we’re so afraid of it. So let’s talk about judgment for a moment. You know my love, we think others are always judging us. We do. We have these what I like to call puddle thoughts, right?

 

We think we know what others are thinking, because maybe we’ve judged others. But judgment, it really truly comes from how we think of ourselves. What we think of ourselves is often what we judge in others. So if there’s something about ourselves that we don’t like, or we think should be different, then we judge others. And this all comes from this, you know, inner work of really not loving ourselves. And I say this because this work of starting to love ourselves and really starting to not judge ourselves, it does really help us in this whole, you know, concept of judgment.

 

And I have to say this my love because judgment and this fear of judgment, what it really does is it keeps us from showing up for ourselves. It keeps us from taking risks, from trying new things, from doing different things. What happens is when we’re afraid of what others might think, we live a very dull life. We don’t take chances. We don’t live our best lives. I think about this when it comes to when I was losing my weight. I used to have this really huge fear of loose skin and looking older than I was.

 

And again, this comes from socialization to be honest, right? We don’t, we don’t celebrate the beauty of women and all shapes and sizes and ages. And so I would have this fear that what if I had loose skin? And so it was the craziest thing because I had this thought that I’d rather live in a body that was uncomfortable, where I didn’t have energy, where my joints hurt and my knees hurt and my back hurt and my shoulders hurt. I’d rather live that then have a little extra loose skin. I say this because love, this was a true fear of mine. I thought, well, what if I lose this weight and then people know that at this one time I weighed 315 pounds.

 

I mean, it was really like when I think about it, it was kind of a crazy thought. But again, this is how our brain is my love, and there’s no judgment. I don’t have judgment for me back then, nor for any of you, because our brains have these illogical thoughts, these fears that come up, and we just have to like be aware of them, really understand them. See my love, I have loose skin, I have wrinkles, and I would not trade the way that my body feels today for putting on another, you know, hundred and so pounds. Right. I just wouldn’t. Oh my goodness. I wouldn’t trade it for any of that. I would not live in that body that I used to live in compared to the way that I feel today.

 

And I say this my loves, because just starting to be aware of how this judgment and it, you know, shows up and what we do when we start to fear what others might think. I think about this too, just even with this business. So I’ve always worked for a company. I’ve had a very successful career and here I am, you know, starting this business and helping women lose weight and live their very best lives. And I tell you my loves, I am sure that there are people who judge me. I’m sure there are people who are like, what is she doing? Who does she think she can be? You know, all the things.

 

But one, I don’t know that that’s the truth. I have no idea. Two, I don’t care what other people think. Because at the end of the day, my why, the why I want to start this business, why I want to serve and help women, that is what guides me, and ultimately what I think and believe about myself. See loves, this fear of judgment of others is because we fear feeling shame, and shame is a very powerful emotion.

 

And we fear that we might feel shame and we’ve all felt some shame before, and it doesn’t feel that good. And so we start to create this fear and we start to create this fear that it actually paralyzes us. It keeps us from starting things. It keeps us from moving forward. I see this with ladies all of the time. So see my loves, we basically fear what might happen if we fail, whether we lose weight or not. So it’s kind of like this double-edged sword. We have these thoughts about if I lose weight, I fear the judgment of others. I might have loose skin. My role in my family. People might not like me. People might not love me. Okay? So we have those fears, right? All of those fears. And then if we don’t lose weight, we have all of these fears of, oh my gosh, I’m living in this body. I should be doing this. I should be doing that. I’m failing. I’m not doing enough. Right? So either way, it’s almost like either way we’re just in this mind drama.

 

And so I tell you this, because we have this fear of judgment, we have this fear of failure, and it just really keeps us paralyzed. It keeps us stuck. We tell ourselves all of these excuses. I mean, we do. We tell ourselves we don’t have time to lose weight. We don’t have time to show up for ourselves. We can’t afford it. We tell ourselves that, you know, our family needs us, that all these other things are more important than us. But love, these are just excuses that we tell ourselves and it’s all rooted, all of it is just rooted in this fear that we might feel shame because we might be judged. We might fail. And this is such an, a powerful emotion.

 

It drives so much of our actions. And I just want you to be aware. When Jenn was, you know, we were slacking about this, I really started to think about how this has shown up for me so many times in my life, where I didn’t move forward, I didn’t even begin. I didn’t even start something, because I was so afraid of other’s judgment or, and their judgment because what if I failed? And I just want you to really think about how is this showing up in your life, and how can you just start to become aware of this? See if we fail, we could feel shame, but I just want to offer you a different thought. What if you don’t fail?

 

What if you feel amazing losing your weight, living your best life, having some loose skin. I promise you that it feels a hundred times better than where you are right now. So I just one, want you to get honest about where your fear of failure is. What are the thoughts that you are thinking right now about your weight loss journey and losing weight for the last time? How is this fear of judgment, fear of failure showing up? And two, decide on purpose what you want to think. I will go back to this over and over again. You are in control my love. You are an adult woman. You are a boss. You get to decide what you want to think and believe. No one can tell you what to think. No one can tell you what to believe.

 

It is the one power that we have. It’s our super power. We get to decide what we want to think and believe. So, decide on purpose, what you want to believe about your weight loss journey. And then three, decide that you can feel shame, that it will be okay. No feeling has ever killed you. I think about the worst moments of my life, where I was feeling shame or grief or loss, and I still got up. And my love, so have you. And number four, decide to get past the fear of judgment. Because my love, the only opinion that matters is yours. See, we always have these thoughts that others are judging us, and what if they’re saying this or what if they’re, you know, thinking this?

 

But we don’t know what they’re thinking. I just like to think everybody loves me. It really does help me in my life because we live in a delusion. So I might as well live in the delusion that everyone thinks I’m amazing. It’s way better than thinking all of these other thoughts about their judgment or that,  you know, they’re not liking what I, what I’m doing. You know, all the things. And honestly, your opinion about yourself really is the only one that matters. When you love yourself love, nothing else matters. You start to find that your capacity to love others, your capacity grows to accept love from others. And so really this work on learning to love yourself, learning to let go of the fear of judgment, oh my love, it is everything.

 

So today’s transformational questions and actions are one, get honest about your fear of failure and ask yourself this question – What are the thoughts you are thinking about losing weight for the last time? Two, decide on purpose what you want to think and believe about your weight loss journey. Three, decide you can feel shame it will be okay. No feeling has killed you. Four, decide to get past the fear of judgment, because the only opinion that ever has mattered is the opinion that you have of yourself.

 

And if you’re ready to take this work deeper and let go of the fear of judgment and want my help, then join my membership Transform Weight Loss program. You can learn more at bflycoaching.com/join. So good my love. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

Ep #103: The Next Best Decision 2.0

I have a favor to ask. Are you a woman who would help another woman that you did not know even if you never get any credit for it? If so, I have a request to make on behalf of a woman you have never met and maybe never will. She is just like you and maybe you are just a little ahead of her. She is feeling hopeless, hating her body, believing she is not worthy, and is searching for the answer to get off the diet roller coaster; and this podcast can help her. Every time a review is left it helps another woman find this show. If you find this show valuable, can you go right now and leave a review wherever you are listening. Usually, it is right in the app or on the website you are listening on.

Your review will help.

We are gearing up for our final challenge of the year and it is going to be EPIC! I mean on fire, so amazing. I cannot wait. I am doing things in this final challenge that I have never done – it is going to be mind-blowing. Go to bflycoaching.com/me

And I am sure that you have this date marked down – September 21st – the day Transform opens. Our last opening of the year and last time without the joining fee. You can go to bflycoaching.com/join.

We are continuing our 2.0 series where I am going a little deeper on previous tools that I have taught, so if you are new to me, no worries, I will always reference the previous teachings so you can go back.

We are programmed to believe in beginnings – that we always have to start over, start again tomorrow, fresh start, and then it will be perfect. But I am telling you to stay in the moment. This decision, right now. That is where you need to be.

Join me in this episode as I teach you how to take the “next best action.” You can stay playing in the puddle, worrying and thought looping on the worst-case scenario, thinking you will just start again tomorrow, and you will just stay stuck and beat yourself up.

Listen in as I teach you a brain hack that will disrupt those thoughts when you are in the playing in the puddle thought looping.

Every moment you get to decide. There is no starting tomorrow, next week, or after the holidays. Nothing about yesterday matters; for sure nothing in the years of the diet roller coaster. You are breaking your diet brain – reprogramming your mindset so you can lose weight for the last time, and it starts with one question.  What is the next best decision for me right now?

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How to stop playing in the puddle
  • How to take the “next best action”
  • A brain hack to disrupt the urge

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. Become aware when you are past puddling or future puddling
  2. If you are having an urge to overeat – Stop Disrupt and Breath.
  3. Ask “what is the next best decision for me?”
  4. Repeat

No past or future puddling, no beat down necessary. You got this my love.

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 103. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host fortune, 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. We are continuing our 2.0 series, where I am going a little deeper on previous tools that I’ve taught. So if you’re new to me, no worries. I will always reference the previous teaching so you can go back and listen to those episodes. But before we get into the show today, I want to read a listener review, and it’s titled My Daily Inspiration by Sandy D62.

This podcast has become my daily inspiration. It has become a morning ritual for me as I’m getting ready for the day. Shannan understands the struggles that every woman has dealt with that has struggled to lose weight because she has done it. She gets to the root of the problem – our brain, and teaches amazing tools to help you learn and grow. I started listening to the podcast at the end of 2020, after putting on more weight during the pandemic and found myself learning and growing so much. By March, I was down 18 pounds and did one of Shannan’s five-day challenges, and after that decided to join her program. And I’m so glad I did. Shannan is so real. And so are the beautiful community of ladies that are there to love and support you every step of the way. I am now down 35 pounds and feeling so much better physically and mentally, it was seriously the best decision I ever made for myself. I’ve learned so much more than just how to lose weight. I’ve learned to love myself and my life again.

Oh, Sandy. Oh, I love me some Sandy. I do. I love Sandy so much and I’m so proud of her and thank you for leaving that review on iTunes. I just, you know, I’m proud of the work that my Transform bosses do. It really is this beautiful community of women learning how to lose weight in a way that is with love and support. And it is getting off the diet roller coaster for good. So good.

So I have a question for you. Are you a woman who would help another woman that you did not know, even if you never get any credit for it? If so, I have an ask to make on behalf of a woman you have never met and maybe never will. She is just like you, and maybe you’re just a little ahead of her. She is sitting there right now, feeling hopeless, hating her body, believing she is not worthy and is searching for the answer to get off the diet roller coaster.

And this podcast can help her. Every time a review is left, it helps another woman find the show. If you find this show valuable, can you go right now and leave a review wherever you’re listening. Usually it’s right in the app or the website you’re listening in. Your review will help one more woman find some hope so they can live their best life in a body they love. One more woman experience a transformation that they otherwise would never have. And one more woman believe that they are worthy. One more woman lose weight for the very last time in a way that feels like love. P.S., if you feel good about helping a woman you’ve never met you are my kind of woman. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for leaving a review. I have so much love for you.

My love, I have been feeling tired lately. I’ve had so much change in the past month. I’ve spent time reflecting, following my process, and a lot of rest, but I feel heavy. See I’m human with a human life and a human brain. I have had a lot of change, and something happened a couple of weeks ago that really shook me. A couple of weeks ago, and I’ll give you the punchline, I won’t go into the whole story, but we had someone break into our house while I was home alone.

Luckily, he heard me dial the police and he left. I am okay. Trust me, Paul has locked us up, and there are now cameras surrounding our entire house. And we’ve put in extra security measures. But my love, it really shook me. I did not feel safe in my new home. I had to allow myself to process it and feel all the feelings over and over again, allowing myself to slow down, to take more time, to miss deadlines, to rest more. This is what I’ve needed.

Years ago, I would have put on 20 pounds, kept going, and put myself on the back burner. But through this work, the power of this work, learning how to become aware of what’s going on in my mind and how it affects my body, asking questions and allowing myself the space to figure it out without the beat downs and disconnection. This work is so life-changing my love, it way goes beyond weight. And I’m so grateful for it, and all of the support of my amazing tribe.

We are gearing up for our final challenge of the year, and it is going to be EPIC. I mean on fire, so amazing. I cannot wait. I’m doing things in this final challenge that I’ve never done before. It’s going to be mind-blowing. So make sure you’re in – bflycoaching.com/me, M E. And I’m sure that you have this date marked down if you’re not in Transform, September 21st, mark it on your calendar. Be ready. That is the day that Transform opens for enrollment, our last opening of the year, and last time without the joining fee.

And to get things started for all my new Transform bosses, plus all my beautiful tribe of Transform bosses. We are planning a six-week jumpstart holiday challenge for all of our Transform bosses, starting in October. You do not want to miss it. We are going to help women achieve their goals during the holidays while still enjoying the holidays. It is going to be so good.

Okay my love, let’s get into today’s episode. So, every day we make hundreds of decisions, from getting out of bed, to brushing our teeth, to what to watch on TV. In episode 69, so bflycoaching.com/69, I teach about indecision and making decisions, and how indecision keeps us stuck. But today I want to go a little deeper on decisions. Because in every moment we get to decide. We make a decision. We decide to eat on plan or to not. We decide to make a realistic plan or not. We decide we’re going to show up for ourselves or not. We decide a million things.

When I was losing my weight, I made a thousand little decisions. These decisions added up to me losing weight for the last time. It wasn’t one big slam dunk, you know, amazing thing. It was just a bunch of little decisions that continually added up over time. We are programmed to believe in beginnings. I mean, I love a good beginning of a week, beginning of a year. You know, we are just programmed to believe that we need to start over, that we need a fresh start, a clean slate, cold turkey. I mean, the list goes on and on. But those are just thoughts, programming. See, every moment you’re given a decision and you decide in that moment – For me or not.

I teach in Transform a concept called the next best action. It really is the next best decision. Our brains love to go to the past, also known as past puddling. Our brains tell us we can’t do it. You’ve failed, so why even try? You’ve never been able to keep this weight off. Or our brain goes to the future, also known as future puddling. To have this perfect body I need to be perfect. I’ll start tomorrow. I’ll start next week. I’ll start after the holidays. I will be perfect, daydreaming of the perfect body and I’ll never eat sugar or carbs again. And I’m going to exercise every day, like hours every day. Seriously my love, Lizzy, also known as your primitive brain, this is what she does. She plays in the past and puddles around, and then she goes to the future and wants you to be perfect.

I am telling you to stay in the moment, this decision right now. The more you can stay right in the moment and ask yourself one simple question, “what is the next best decision for me right now?” the better your results will be. When you start past puddling, you worry, you go to worst case scenario. You tell yourself it’s hard, that it’s too much. You start feeling overwhelmed. You go into autopilot, and then all your old habits kick in and you end up overeating.

And then, you know what happens next? You start beating yourself up and then you go back to future puddling and the perfect fantasy, Barbie we’ll call her, telling yourself tomorrow you’ll be perfect, and you’ll lose all your weight in 28 days. And since tomorrow you’re going to be perfect and good – I’m using air quotes – today you are bad. You eat all the things, last supper, you feel bad. You beat yourself up and you do this over and over again. You go from the past – I can’t do it, I’ve never done it, to the future – perfection, I’m going to do it perfectly, I’m never eating like this again.

See my love, we do this over and over again. But if in the moment, when you have an urge, you want to overeat, you just stop, disrupt, count back from 30 – 30, 29, 28 – you breathe, you take a breath, and then you ask “what is the next best decision for me right now?” You will have more success my love.

Every moment you get to decide. There is no starting over, starting tomorrow, next week or after the holidays, because you’re deciding right now. Nothing about yesterday matters, for sure nothing in the years of the diet rollercoaster. You are breaking your diet brain, reprogramming your mindset so you can lose weight for the last time. And it starts with one question. What is the next best decision for me right now?

The transformational questions and actions are one, become aware when you’re past puddling or future puddling. Number two, if you’re having an urge to overeat, stop, disrupt, and breathe. And we’ll put the link to the episode on urges in the show notes. And number three, ask what is the next best decision for me? And number four, repeat. Repeat it as often as you need. No past or future puddling, no beat down necessary. You got this my love.

And if you want to learn more about my tools, get in our free challenge. You can go to bflycoaching.com/me to join our challenge. I cannot wait. Bye for now love.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

Facebook Live #58: Do You Tell Yourself You Will Start Tomorrow?

We just had a holiday weekend. So, I was thinking about how we always tell ourselves we will start again tomorrow, or on Monday, or when the holiday is over, or the holidays, or an event, whatever it may be. I know I have done this. We are either all in or all out. We tell ourselves we need to be different. We stay stuck by the this thought that we are “good” or “bad.” We tell ourselves something like “I’ll be good after I eat X.” And we tie it to our worth. I am here to tell you that what we eat has nothing to do with our worth. It’s just what we have been taught through the diet culture.

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into how to stop “starting over.”  We have so many beliefs that keep us stuck on the diet roller coaster. What we eat has nothing to do with who we are. Every moment we get to decide what we will eat or not eat.  It is just a decision. You can stop the craziness – be aware in that moment. Be aware of your thoughts.

You don’t have to start tomorrow. That thought just sabotages your success. Right now, you get to make the decision to fuel your body or not. It doesn’t mean you are good or bad. It is just a decision.

I will give you simple tools to lead to your weight loss success. All it takes is making 1-2 small changes and then up leveling.

Do not put yourself off for another day!

If you ready to get rid of the diet programming, Transform is opening on September 21, for the last time this year.  We will be open for 6 days. It will be the last time we do not have an enrollment fee.

We are also doing an amazing Transform Challenge. It will be 7 days, and I will go live most days and teach. I will go through the basics of how to lose weight for the last time. I will be teaching stuff I have never taught before.  Make sure you are in the Transform challenge September 20-27. Go to bflycoaching.com/me to register.

If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course, where I share my experience and the 3 tools that I used to get off the diet roller coaster. All you have to do is click here to learn more!

What You’ll Discover:

  • To lose weight for the last time is really an inside job
  • You never have to “start over”
  • You do not need extremes to lose weight

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #102: How Action Shows Up in Weight Loss 2.0

I cannot believe it is September. Where has the year gone! I can’t believe I am already thinking and planning for 2022. Time just goes so fast. But the year is not over yet. We still have three and a half months to finish strong and reach our 2021 goals.

 

When we have successes or failures, we make it mean something about us. If we’re not hitting a goal, we start telling ourselves stories about what we’re capable of. But honestly, what I’ve learned is failure, successes, it’s just part of the journey. It has nothing to do with your capabilities, and more importantly, nothing to do with your worth.

 

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into the 3 types of action we need to take in weight loss, and why each one is important. I will teach you how you can fail, but keep learning and just keep taking action, keep moving forward. We all hit these roadblocks where we just want to quit and give up. We say we will just start over or start again on Monday. Join me as I give you the secret to end “starting over.” Getting rid of that diet mentality of starting over, shutting down.

And if you are not yet a Transform Boss, mark September 21st on your calendar. We will be opening for the last time this year. You can go to bflycoaching.com/join. And if you are not already in the last challenge of the year, get in. Go to bflycoaching.com/me. It starts on September 20. You will not want to miss it! 

 

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • Failure and success are both just part of your journey – it has nothing to do with your worth
  • The 3 types of action that are important in weight loss
  • That you don’t ever have to “start over”

 

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. What are you currently doing for your weight loss journey when it comes to the 3 types of action
  2. Then decide what actions you want to focus on.
  3. Then cut your list in half and choose 1-3 actions to focus on.
  4. Then do it over and over again.
  5. Fail, learn and keep moving forward.

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 102. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. I am excited about our next few podcasts. I love doing this work and I continue to learn and do research. Also, my clients teach me a lot. What they’re struggling with, what they’re overcoming, tips that they have used to have success. So I’m starting a series of 2.0 podcasts. I am going to teach advanced concepts around the fundamentals and some other tools that I teach. Today, we’re going to start it out with action, because understanding how it shows up in your weight loss journey is key to your success.

 

But first, before we get into the show, I want to read a podcast review. This is from Cynthia Joncas, and she left it on iTunes. Shannan is such an inspiration. She helps all the ladies to find themselves and love themselves so that they can become the person they want to be in a body that they love. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to start this program. I’m loving every minute of it. Everyone is so helpful. I am so very thankful to have found you.

 

Oh Cynthia. Thank you so much. She is one of our Transform Bosses and I just, I love Cynthia. She is a beautiful soul and thank you, Cynthia. I love that review. I, you know, it is about learning how to have some love for yourself, having some grace for yourself. Oh, so good. And if you’re loving the show, please rate and review the show. Also make sure you follow so I’m in your list every Wednesday morning.

 

Love, I cannot believe it is September. Where has the year gone? I can’t believe I’m already thinking and planning for 2022. Time just goes so fast, but the year is not over yet. We still have three and a half months to finish strong and reach our 2021 goals. I just did a review on our 2021 business goals. Some we hit and some we have not. I didn’t beat myself up for what we did not.

 

I just started to become curious. I asked myself, well, what can we do in the last three months? Where did we have success? And what were the challenges? I do a monthly review and a quarterly review. I don’t make them complicated. I look at it like an audit. I don’t make it mean anything about me. When we have successes or failures, we make it mean something about us. If we’re not hitting a goal, we start telling ourselves stories about what we’re capable of. But honestly, what I’ve learned is failure, successes, it’s just part of the journey. It has nothing to do with your capabilities, and more importantly, nothing to do with your worth.

 

Hear this again, it’s so important. Your failures, your challenges, your successes even has nothing to do with your worth, because you’re enough. You always have been and nothing can change that. And it’s so important to remind yourself. I feel like sometimes we can be on this roller coaster of like, Ooh, we’re having success, we’re feeling so great. And then when we start to struggle, we start to beat ourselves up and really, just enjoying and learning from all of it. I learned from my successes. I definitely can feel proud and feel the emotion of it.

 

And if I have failures or challenges, I can learn from that too. And I don’t need to beat myself up about it. I can just decide on purpose that it’s just part of my journey, both parts. So take a look at what you’ve done this year with a curious mind, and then decide how you want to finish. And if you’re not a Transform boss yet, mark it on your calendar love. September 21st, we open for the last time this year. You can go to bflycoaching.com/join. And if you’re not already in the last challenge of the year, get in it. I’m doing some stuff I have never done. And I’ve done quite a few challenges. You will not want to miss. You can go to bflycoaching.com/me, M E, because it’s all about you, my love to register. And it starts on September 20th.

 

As I’ve watched my own journey and those of my clients, I find that there are three types of action that leads to weight loss success: passive, consistent, and massive. All three of these show up in women who have lost weight for the last time. I have noticed something important about each type of action that is important in this weight loss journey we’re on.

 

So the first one is passive action. Now passive action is important, but it is passive. Passive action is like reading books, listening to podcasts. Basically, you are taking information in, you are learning. I think about passive action in anything that we do. So when I go to a course, or when I go to a class, when I got my master’s degree, it really was passive action. I was just learning. I was taking it in. I might’ve been doing work and, you know, workbooks or tests or quizzes, whatever the case may be, but really I’m just learning. And passive action is a part of your weight loss journey. Learning the tools that I teach, learning how to challenge yourself, learning how to fail on purpose. All of that is important. And it’s part of this journey.

 

The second type of action is consistent. It is the repetition of doing something over and over again to build a new habit. It’s a new neural pathway in your brain. Consistent action is key to losing weight for the last time. It is this repetition of taking small steps and doing it over and over and over again. I always think of this when I think of Michael Jordan, because I think it’s so important. He, I just watched this interview with him once and he was talking about, you know, he was a legend in his sport and he was talking about how he would, you know, practice over and over and over again, because then it just became this automatic habit. So when he was in the game, he didn’t even have to think about it.

 

He just knew exactly what to do because in all of the times that he had practiced, in the hours and days upon days that he had practiced, it just became a new neural pathway, probably tons of them actually. So when someone came a certain way, when someone did something, he knew exactly what to do, because it was automatic in his brain.

 

I think about this as you’re learning new tools, as you’re making your realistic plan, as you’re creating new morning routines or night routines, as you’re learning how to, you know, handle an urge of wanting to overeat or there’s so many different tools and things that you’re doing, and doing them over and over again, practicing them over and over again, that consistent action. And it is key to learning how to lose weight for the last time. It’s not doing all the things. It’s just picking one or two things and then just doing it over and over and over again.

 

Now the third type of action is massive action. You know, when I was first taught this concept I thought massive action was doing all the things, but it isn’t. Massive action is really about failing, hitting roadblocks, and sometimes changing the direction a bit, but always moving forward. It’s allowing yourself to fail, learn, and then continuing to take action. It’s reassessing and looking at what is working and what is not. It’s continuing to show up, take action even when you don’t want to, especially when you don’t want to, it’s not doing 52 things. It’s doing simple steps over and over again. Failing, learning, and keep taking action, keep moving forward.

 

And it’s so important because this idea that you’re going to hit roadblocks. You are going to have times where you overeat. You’re going to have times where you don’t make your realistic plan. You’re going to have times where maybe you gain a few pounds. And what happens is if we don’t know that it’s just part of this journey, what happens is we start to beat ourselves up and then we start to disconnect. We start to shut down, and then we go into last supper eating where we just keep telling ourselves, well, I’m going to start on Monday. I’m going to start on Monday. But see my love, you don’t ever have to start over, because you’re always taking action. You just have to decide which actions are going to serve you and which actions are not.

 

And getting rid of this diet mentality of starting over, shutting down, disconnecting, all in or all out, the way that you do it is through passive, consistent and massive action. It’s just learning, doing things over and over again, and then continuing to take action, even when you fail, continuing to learn and grow from it.

 

So today’s transformational questions and actions are one, what are you currently doing for your weight loss journey when it comes to the three types of actions? Two, decide what actions you want to focus on. And then for all my perfectionist, three, cut your list in half and choose one to three actions to focus on. I know you want to do them all. I do. You want to do all 52. One to three. And then number four, do it over and over again. And number five, fail, learn and keep moving forward.

 

And if you want to learn more about my tools that I teach and how to take action, passive, consistent, and massive, you want to get into my free Transform challenge. You can go to bflycoaching.com/me. We are going to have a blast in this challenge. It is going to be fun. You are going to learn, you are going to grow and you are going to finish 2021 strong, and you are going to achieve goals that you had already given up on. Yes. Join the challenge. I can’t wait. All right my love. Bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

Ep #101: Have You Given Up on You in 2021?

Here we are in September. And what I see is we start powering down, especially through the holidays. We start telling ourselves, I’ll just start over in January. And for many of my listeners, it’s a subconscious whisper that all the goodies are coming. Pumpkin season’s coming. All our holiday favorites. Holidays are coming and it starts in October. And some of the thoughts around, oh, I can now cover up with all of my winter clothes…

This is my favorite time of the year from September on. I love it. Paul’s birthday is in September. Our anniversary is in October, all the holidays I love. And Arizona, it is gorgeous. I mean, we get to do all of the things. It is a beautiful time of year.

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into how to not power down, not to put yourself off, not to disconnect.

You can have more time for yourself. I teach you simple tools and steps you can take and how just one small step can lead to your success.

You get to decide. You can decide right now that it will be different, that you will show up differently. What I teach is different. Because my Bosses, they go through the holidays enjoying their favorite foods. They choose if they want to maintain or lose weight through the holidays. They are in control.

You get to decide.

And if you want to kick off the last four months of the year, join me in our last challenge of the year. Yes, the very last five-day challenge is happening in September. We are also opening enrollment into Transform on September 21st, mark this date down in your calendar. This is our last opening of the year. And it is the last time that we will not have the enrollment fee. In January we are adding back the enrollment fee. So if you’ve been thinking about Transform, you want to get into our September opening. It is $49 to join. So be ready. September 21st. To register for the five-day challenge go to bflycoaching.com/me.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How not to power down, not to disconnect
  • That you get to decide, on purpose, how you want the rest of this year to be
  • How to show up for yourself

Transformational actions/questions:

  1. If you’re not in Transform, recognize where you are and what you’re thinking about the upcoming months. Ask yourself, where am I right now? And where do I want to be on January 1st, 2022?
  2. Set a goal, whether it is to maintain or lose weight.
  3. Make a simple plan, simple steps. Maybe it’s starting to make a realistic plan or eat more food that fuels you. Starting to notice what hunger feels like in your body. You want to start one thing and take one step.

Do you want to learn more about my tools – take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready to take it and learn the fundamentals of what I teach, tools that can help you start to lose weight for the last time.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 101. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. I mean really, like we’re at 101 episodes. If you missed our last two episodes, you for sure want to listen to them. Episode number 99 and 100 were really special episodes. So you don’t want to miss those. So go back for sure and listen to those. But today’s show is a special episode too, because I really want to talk about the last quarter of the year. Ooh, it’s going to be a good one.

But before we get into the show, I want to read a podcast review. And this podcast review was from Fun Son 23, the title of it was Ruby Slippers, which I love. And she wrote, I look forward to your new podcast every Wednesday for inspiration and insight. I’ve been on the diet rollercoaster for as long as I can remember. I’ve tried all the things: counting points, keto, even weight loss surgery, and lost weight, but couldn’t keep it off. I’ve lost 30 pounds with Transform doing work on my thoughts and learning to keep commitments to myself. The impact Shannan has had in my life goes far beyond the scale. I’m learning to dream, fill my life 50 50 with joy and grace and create stronger relationships with my loved ones. Thank you Shannan, for the passion you have for helping women. You have certainly made a difference in my life.

Thank you Fun Son 23. Oh, I love that review. I love it because you know, I love the work that she’s doing on herself, and this is so much more. I help women lose weight for the last time. That’s what I do, but there’s so many other benefits that show up and I just, oh, I love this work my love. So I want to thank you for listening. I would love to hear from you. It would mean the world to me if you left this podcast a quick review, wherever you’re listening from. And if you get some nuggets from the message today, don’t forget to share it with your friends, your team, anyone, your family, and your Instagram stories so anyone else that needs to find it can find it. Be sure to tag me at Shannan Christiansen so that I can shout you and share your page with my friends and subscribe so I’m in your podcast library every Wednesday morning.

Love, we have had so much exciting stuff going on in Transform. This podcast, as I’m recording this, I am doing the fun 100 drawing tonight. I cannot wait to see who wins. And I have two beautiful baskets of my favorite things, and I cannot wait for the winner to receive them. We are also getting ready for our first Bootcamp. I know it’s a bootcamp unlike any other. It’s a mindset bootcamp and all about coaching and learning the tools that I teach. By the time that this airs it will almost be over.

And this is how quick time flies. I mean, it is September. We are in the last quarter of the year. August was a really full month for me. We had Unstoppable Live, our members only event in Transform. We sold our house, moved into another house, had all sorts of fun in Transform. I mean, my love, it has been a full month. But I am so grateful for all of it. That I have the energy, that I know when I need to rest, that I don’t need to eat my way through all of the emotions. It is so different for me now. I can show up for myself, even when there’s a lot going on, I can say no.

I have rearranged my schedule over the last month to make sure that I have time to rest and recharge. There were many times in my life where that was not the case. I would not even put myself on the list. So this takes me into our show today. Here we are in September. And what I see is we start powering down, especially through the holidays. We start telling ourselves, I’ll just start over in January. And for many of my listeners, it’s a subconscious whisper that all the goodies are coming. Pumpkin season’s coming. All our holiday favorites. Holidays are coming and it starts in October. And some of the thoughts around, oh, I can now cover up with all of my winter clothes.

This is my love, my favorite time of the year from September on. I love it. Paul’s birthday is in September. Our anniversary is in October, all the holidays I love. Birthdays. And Arizona, it is gorgeous. Like hiking. I mean, we get to do all of the things. It is a beautiful time of year. I remember one of the last holiday seasons before I lost my weight for good, and I want to tell you a little story about it.

It was the first Christmas without my mom. The first of all of it without my mom, I was commuting from Utah to Phoenix. One of our children were really struggling at the time, we were selling our Utah house, looking for another house in Phoenix to purchase, and love, all I wanted to do was get in bed and eat cookies. Paul was spending most of his time in Phoenix, handling all of our stuff here. And loves, I felt like I was drowning. I was putting on the smile for everyone, but I literally just wanted to put the covers over my head. So many things were happening. So many things were going on, and honestly, I didn’t want to feel any of it.

And I was sitting at, oh, I don’t know, 250 pounds. The last time I got on the scale I was 247. By Christmas, I was ill, bronchitis, like six weeks of bronchitis. I was so ill. I was pushing it all down with food, but my body was telling me something. It was telling me that it was hurting, that I needed to feel the pain, the grief, all of the emotions that were going down. See, I was pushing it down with food. But all of that emotion was still there in my body. In September and October, I started to do what I did every holiday season. I started to power down, started to put myself off. I started to disconnect.

I kept showing up for everyone else, of course. I kept doing all the things, but what I needed was time for me. I needed more than anything, coaching. I needed to have some grace and love for myself. Instead, I ate all the things. I kept running at a thousand percent. And then finally, my body said enough. That was the last holiday season that I didn’t show up for myself. The next couple of years I researched, found my process, found coaching, and I have never looked back. It has not been a straight line. I have succeeded. I have failed. But I always keep moving forward. I want to challenge you right now, if you’re starting to disconnect, starting to not show up for yourself, starting to have the whispers of powering down, the whispers of, but I want to eat all the things. Maybe it’s been recently or maybe love, it has been years, just start to recognize those whispers, those thoughts, and then decide on purpose what you want this last quarter of the year to be. You get to decide.

January 1st will come, and you can walk into it feeling great. Like this was the best holiday season. Or you could have gained weight, feel exhausted from the holidays, disappointed that you let another three to four months pass by. You get to decide. You can decide right now that it will be different, that you will show up differently. What I teach is different. Because my bosses, they go through the holidays enjoying their favorite foods. They choose if they want to maintain or lose weight through the holidays. They are in control.

Our virtual event in October is all about how to decide how you’re going to show up through the holidays and what actions you’re going to take that are going to serve your journey. This is a member only event in Transform. We do these virtual events twice a year. This is where we dig in deep. And we really start to plan. Now what to do if you’re not in Transform. If you are in Transform, no worries my love. We are going to go deep on this and we are going to do this together.

So the transformational actions or questions, if you’re not in Transform are one, recognize where you are and what you’re thinking about the upcoming months. Ask yourself, where am I right now? And where do I want to be on January 1st, 2022? Number two, set a goal, whether it is to maintain or lose weight. And number three, make a simple plan, simple steps. Maybe it’s starting to make a realistic plan or eat more food that fuels you. Starting to notice what hunger feels like in your body. You want to start one thing and take one step.

And if you want to kick off the last four months of the year, join me in our last challenge of the year. Yes, the very last five-day challenge is happening in September. We are also opening enrollment into Transform on September 21st, mark this date down in your calendar. This is our last opening of the year. And it is the last time that we will not have the enrollment fee. In January we are adding back the enrollment fee. I like to focus on my Transform Bosses during the last quarter of the year. They get me. We are going to finish the year like a boss, a Transform Boss that is.

So if you’ve been thinking about Transform, you want to get into our September opening. It is $49 to join. So be ready. September 21st. To register for the five-day challenge go to bflycoaching.com/me. Oh yes, my love, me. So good my love. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

Transform Boss Weight Loss

TRANSFORM BOSS FREE CHALLENGE!

The Transform Boss Free Challenge is BACK! Learn the tools Shannan still uses today – to get you off the diet roller coaster, for good. Register now for the 7-day challenge beginning July 10th!

This form collects information we will use to send you updates about promotions, special offers and news. We will not share or sell your personal information. You can unsubscribe at any time.