EP #109: Holidays 2.0

Ep #109: Holidays 2.0

Today is the last installment of our 2.0 series, and I want to dive into holidays and how to decide on purpose how you want to feel on 01/02/2022.

Holiday time is here. October is time for all the Halloween candy, then Thanksgiving feasts, and then Christmas – and all those treats!

Holidays are events, days, celebrations, a day of festivity – time for family, when no work is done.

I have designed my holidays, so I enjoy them.

You get to decide what you want the holidays to mean to you.

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into how we have tied food to our holidays and celebrations and how to break free from that thinking. How to break the people pleasing. How to make new traditions that don’t have anything to do with food.

I will give you tips on how to heal your relationship with food and ourselves.

Give a gift to your future self now. How do you want to feel on 01/02/2022?

If you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show.  Also subscribe, you can do that by hitting the follow button, clicking on the + sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you are listening. This way every Wednesday, I am in your library.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How to break the people pleasing in all of us around the holidays
  • How to make the holidays about more than the food
  • How to heal our relationship with food

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. Create a holiday list of all the fuel & non-fuel foods you want to eat.
  2. How do you want to feel on 01/02/2022?
  3. What gifts can you give to your future self now?
  4. Decide on purpose, have a plan for your holidays.

If you love this work and you want to take it deeper, then take my free course.  Go to bflycoaching.com/ready.

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 109. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. So we are in a 2.0 series and today is the last installment, and I want to dive a little deeper into holidays and how to decide on purpose now how you want to feel on January 2nd, 2022. Ooh, so good.

But first, I want to do a listener shout out, and today’s listener shout out goes to someone titled themselves Successful Woman. Love it. And she wrote: Just started listening to the podcast. Good information. Hope this helps me. Thanks for everything, and put a heart. Love it Successful Woman. You know, if you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find the show by leaving a review and rating of the show. Also subscribe and follow wherever you’re listening. This way, every Wednesday I’m in your library.

So my love, oh my goodness. You’re going to notice my voice today. I feel really bad for my podcast editor and producer Taylor, my son, because I’m not going to lie, he’s going to have a lot of edits today. My voice is a little tired from yesterday because we had our virtual event and I have to say, I love it. This was in Transform Boss Weight Loss. And a couple of times of year we do a virtual event. It’s totally virtual. And yesterday was a little over four and a half hours.

And I teach, brought some ladies on. We have awards, celebrations. My family comes on. The team comes on. I mean, it’s just, my grand babies making an appearance. It is super fun. And you know, yesterday was no different. We had a blast. And you know what I love about it. We do it in a kind of a meeting format, so there are ladies who put their videos on and I get to see them and watch them and talk to them and coach them. And I mean, it’s just a super fun event. And you know, I love watching ladies just do this work. You know I love teaching. I love coaching.

Ah, but I tell you, watching women do this work and have aha moments and learn that they matter and that they can love themselves and show up for themselves. You know ladies, we have just been sold a bill of goods. You know, I was thinking about this yesterday as I was teaching. You know, I did, I watched my mother and my grandmother, you know, they did all the things for all the humans. My mother worked too, you know, she, but she had dinner on the table every, you know, night.

And I think about, and again, this isn’t, you know, my dad did things. This is, you know, it has nothing, it’s not exclusive of the men. I’m just saying as women, boy, we do all the things. We just, you know, we have a lot of people pleasing and I’m going to dive into that today where we want to make everyone happy.

But we never turned that in to ourselves and really think about, well, how am I going to make me happy? You know, where’s my joy, my fun? And you know, this is why I just, I love this work ladies. I love Transform Boss Weight Loss. I love the women in it. I think about them. I am watching their growth and their, you know, we just of course closed in September, and we brought in a whole group of new ladies to Transform Boss and, oh my goodness, I just love them. I can’t even deal with it. They’re in there. They’re doing the work. They’re failing. They’re having successes. They’re, you know, all the things and they just keep showing up for themselves.

And I just, I love my ladies. So I do want to give a little shout out to our team. You know, we have the best team in Transform, and you know, we call it BFLY team and they work so hard and they do so many things for our ladies and just for the world. And I just love all of them. And I just want to give a big shout out. We have the best mentors and ambassadors, and you know, it’s just a love fest. That’s how I love it. I love it. I love all of them. Okay. And I love my ladies.

So I want to dive into the holidays. So here we are, when you listen to this, it is going to be, you know, the end of October, almost Halloween, can you even believe it? I can’t actually, I feel like, you know, time is just going so fast, but here we are, we’re going into November and December, and even January. My holidays, you know, pre-me doing this work, I mean, it was like a four-month deal. And then, you know, Valentine’s day came and then Easter came. I mean, you know, really honestly, summer was probably my only non-holiday time. And I say this because we one, put a lot of pressure on ourselves about the holidays and making them perfect. I know many of you listening do that.

We have lots of traditions and then, you know, we’re on Pinterest and we see all the other cute stuff or all the other foods we want to try and all the other things the other humans are doing. And then we get a little envious and, you know, we start comparing and then we, you know, it’s just this whole cycle, and what I want you to do, and what I want you to take away from this show today is that you get to decide what you want to do in the holidays, and what you want to make them mean and what they mean to you.

You know, I think the holidays are about really understanding your own beliefs and what you want, and how can you have joy and fun, and take care of you and show up for you even when you feel like, oh, there’s so much going on, and you know, you feel underwater sometimes. You know, how can you still show up for you? You know, I always go back to this time, you know, before I really started doing this work and, you know, the holidays were very, lots of good things. I love the holidays. It is my favorite time of the year.

And I love the holidays and so many good memories and so many good things, but I have to tell you, I also have, you know, I wanted to make them perfect. I wanted to go to all the parties and all the events and do all the things and, you know, keep creating all the traditions and, you know, and at the same time still, I had my day life, you know, my job and my family and all the things. And, you know, I wanted to make it perfect for my family and for all of the things. And it just puts an immense amount of pressure on me. And I would say there were many holidays that by the time, you know, Christmas would come around, I would be exhausted. I mean exhausted. You know, I would be, you know, wrapping presents, you know, till three in the morning, you know, the night before.

And I say this my love because I have changed the way that I show up during the holidays. And that’s what I want to talk about today. And how I did that is I really started to, you know, I grabbed a piece of paper and I really reflected on what the holidays were and what they had been. Right. I went to the past and just thought, okay, what were they? And then I got another sheet of paper and I just started thinking like what do the holidays mean for me? You know, I know all of you that are listening, all my loves, the holidays are about family and it’s about celebration, right?

That’s, that’s the most important thing. I would say. If I talked to any one of you, that’s what you would say. You’d be like, no Shannan it’s about my family and it’s about the love, but I tell you, if you reflect back on a lot of your holidays, you’ll find that it can be a really stressful time, you know, stress, depression, like so many things happen at the holidays. And then add in, I know so many of my loves have had loss. You know, for me, you know, the holidays, I have a lot of feelings because I miss my mom, my mother-in-law. We don’t get to, you know, they’re not here with us and we, you know there’s a lot of emotion. And so I think just really understanding from your point of view, what do you want this holiday season to be? What do you want to do? And I tell you why this is so important is because loves, we like to people please. We like to do things out of obligation.

I talked about this a lot in my virtual event yesterday, because we do many things out of, I have to, and that energy is resentment. That energy is, you know, just frustration. It is just when you show up and you do things because you feel like you have to, or you are, you know, obligated to do so you go to parties that you don’t really even have that great of a time, but you feel obligated to go. Your energy is different. Your energy is resentment. Your energy is, oh, I don’t really even want to be here. I have so many other things to do.

You’re not even connected. I have watched folks go to parties and go to things, and the entire time, like stay off by themselves and stay on their phones, like, because they don’t want to be there. And I say this because a few years ago we had a family party that was a pretty big family party. But I found that I just wasn’t enjoying it as much. And it was always at, you know, right before Christmas. And so it was just a really tough time of the year and really tough for me to attend with my family.

And I was always pressuring Taylor and Telyn to go. And, you know, because I wanted them there with me because I didn’t feel that comfortable there to be honest. And so I made a decision a few years ago that I just wasn’t going to attend. Now, I love the person who puts on this party, I do. And I told her, I love you, but I’m not attending. And I’m not going to attend this year either. And it has nothing to do with the love that I have for this person. It’s just, I just made a decision that I was going to show up for me and for my family, my immediate family, and do the things that I want to do.

And I tell you, the first year was a little difficult because I felt a little bit of guilt, right. That comes in. But then I just decided, you know, I’m going to show up in the way that I want to, because you know, at the end of the day loves, we really only have this one life. And we spend so much of it trying to people please, and doing things out of obligation, it makes us feel exhausted. And then when we are doing something we want to do, we want to be in, we, you know, we’re exhausted. I don’t want that. This season I have already laid out a plan of exactly what I want to do. Exactly what events I want to attend. Exactly what events I want to put on.

You know, it is my 50th birthday in November. And, you know, I’ve planned some fun things for that, with the humans that I want to be around. And I tell you this, because you know, I’m going to have the best time. It’s not too that I’m going to have. I think life is 50 50. I’m going to still have some stress I’m still, right. I still have, you know, other responsibilities. I, for sure, will go through some sadness of missing my mom for sure. And I’m gonna allow all of it and I don’t have to overeat. I don’t need to eat more than what my body needs for fuel. I say this because you know, the holidays, we have put so much into the food.

And you know, when I, before, you know, I lost my weight. And when I, before this work, food was my emotional support. So when I was feeling exhausted, when I was feeling tired, you know, I was like, Hey, give me all the foods. Right? And then, especially with holiday food, I had a lot of, kind of this scarcity mentality that, oh, this only comes once, one time a year. And so I’ve got to eat it all. And I just want to say that the holidays are about so much more. I have foods in the holiday that I love. I love turkey and Thanksgiving dinner. I love making cookies with my grandbabies and my son and daughter-in-law, my whole family.

I love that. And I’m going to keep doing that, but I don’t have to make it a four-month just complete disconnect from myself, buffer with food, you know, and feel exhausted. And I just want to offer to you that there is a different way, and this is all part of healing our relationship with food and ourselves. You know, there are what I like to call puddle foods. And these foods are things that we think we’re out of control with, right? So I used to like Texas sheet cake, cookies, mostly sweets for me. I had this belief that I, you know, I couldn’t control myself around them. And you know, it was just really, I like to call it puddle foods because it’s just being in the puddle. Right.

It’s just nonsense that I used to tell myself, because I always stopped eating. I didn’t just, you know, it wasn’t just like continuing, continuing, continuing, right? At some point you always stop. And so telling ourselves that we’re out of control, it just keeps us stuck. It keeps us in this very scarce, very, you know, difficult mindset where we believe that we’re just, you know, everything’s out of our control. But I want to tell you, you’re in control. Every time that you eat something, you decide if you want to eat it. And if you’re like, but Shannan, I eat more than I want, my love, I just want to, you know, ask yourself why? Is it because you think I’m not going to have this again?

Is it because you’re telling yourself you’re going to go on some diet and you’re going to be “good,” and restrict. This whole process that I teach in Transform Boss with all of my ladies is about healing the relationship with food and ourselves, and allowing, allowing ourselves to eat. I don’t have puddle foods anymore because I allow everything. I’m not out of control.

I always decide, I always am in control. I always decide what I want to eat, when I want to eat it, always. And it’s just this false thought, this really false belief that we have. Food does not control us. It doesn’t, it is like an innate. It doesn’t love us. It doesn’t control us. It’s just, it’s just an item.

And it’s just like an innate, it’s just an object. And my love, you are in control. And this holiday season, I want you to really think about how do I want to move through it? What foods do I want to eat? What foods do I want to include in my realistic plan? I think about this. There are certain holiday foods that I do love. And when I eat them, I stop. I really savor them. I enjoy them. No guilt and no feeling out of control. No feeling like I’m never going to eat it again. I just stop. I eat it, and I enjoy it, and I really taste it. And I really decide, do I even really like it?

And so just stop telling yourself that you’re out of control, that you can’t lose weight, and just make a plan. Sit down with a piece of paper and decide over the holiday seasons a few things. One, do you want to lose weight this holiday season? Or do you just want to maintain your weight? How many actual holiday meals are there going to be? Like how many? Right. I think sometimes we’re just like, oh, it’s a four-month, I’m going to eat all the things. But it’s really not. Most of us have about four or five actual holiday meals.

And then what traditions do you want to include? So what traditions, even traditions outside of food, right. We love to go look at Christmas lights and holiday lights. We love to, you know, spend time with family. I mean, there’s lots of things that we love to do. We love to do service. What things do you want to do outside of food? And again, what things do you want? I love baking cookies with my grandkids and my daughter-in-law and my son. Like, I love it. I love it. Even my extended family too, my niece and my sister-in-law like, I absolutely love it. And so again, what traditions do you want to continue?

And then what do you want to do over the holidays? You decide. And when we decide things on purpose ahead of time, we’re using our thinking brain, you know, the brain that, you know, makes decisions for our future self. Now I want to talk about our future self. So you can listen to this episode. I can’t remember right now, which one it is, but we’ll put it in the show notes. I have an episode all on future self. It’s such a great concept. And you know what happens is our future self is coming. So January 2nd, 2022 is coming.

And I want you to think about how you want to feel on that day, because everything you do today, everything is either a gift, right? Or something that you’re doing for your future self, or something that you know, you’re not doing for your future self. Something that is keeping you stuck, something that’s keeping you kind of where you’re at right now, right? If during the holiday season you, you know, gain 10, 15, 20 pounds, I did this many holiday seasons, well that was not a gift to my future self. It wasn’t. Because my future self then had to deal with it. My future self then had to figure out all the things and she did, but right. So what can you do for your future self now?

How do you want to feel on January 2nd? And again, making these decisions ahead of time and deciding on purpose what you want to do, oh, it’s everything. And so just take a piece of paper again, just do the exercise that I’d given, right? I want you to look at how your holidays have been, and then how your holidays are going to be this holiday season. And my love, you got this, and it just starts with making a decision ahead of time and deciding how you want to feel, and what gifts and what things that you’re going to do for your future self right now.

So the transformational questions and actions are, create a holiday list of all of the fuel and non-fuel foods that you want to eat. I think this is a really important part of this process is deciding on purpose what you want to fuel your body with, and all of the foods that you want to have too that may not fuel it, but you want it to be a part of your plan. And how do you want to feel on January 2nd, 2022? Number three, what gifts can you give to your future self right now? And number four, decide on purpose to have a plan for your holidays.

Ooh, so good my love. If you love this work and you want to take it deeper, then take my free course. Go to bflycoaching.com.ready. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

Ep #108: What We Underestimate in Weight Loss 2.0

Ep #108: What We Underestimate in Weight Loss 2.0

We are still in our 2.0 series, and this episode we are going back to the basics of being human -yes, basics that we underestimate.

We have some basic things our bodies need to survive – Water, Sleep, Food, and Air.

Without them you will die.

Our bodies are amazing – we as humans have evolved into these amazing beings.

But as time as gone on – we are busy, we overlook how important some of the basics are to our bodies.

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into the basics we need to pay attention to for our bodies.

I will give you simple tools, that just take a few minutes, that will help our bodies become stronger, more relaxed and a sense of calm. Our bodies need us to pay attention, instead of being disconnected – to give our bodies what they need.

Are you ready to come into awareness and out of survival mode?

And make sure you subscribe to our podcast. You can do that by hitting the follow button, clicking on the + sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you are listening. This way every Wednesday, I am in your library.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How not getting enough sleep or water in is just a trigger for overeating
  • Buffering is just a way that we disconnect from ourselves
  • How being disconnected from our bodies leads us to overeating

Transformational Questions/Actions:

  1. How can you remind yourself to take a moment and breath?
  2. Why do you want to do it?
  3. Go back and listen to episode 11

If you love this work and you want to take it deeper, then take my free course.  Go to bflycoaching.com/ready.

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 108. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. So, we are in this 2.0 series and we only have one more left, and I’m so excited. We have today’s and then I’m going to do one more after this. I really loved kind of diving in a little deeper to some of the tools that I’ve already taught. So today we’re going back to the basics – back to the basics of being human. Yes, basics that we underestimate.

 

But first I want to do a listener shout out, and today’s listener shout out is Dana Hageman-Allen. Shannan, I was so honored to be a part of your 99th podcast. Just a year ago, I was looking yet again for a new diet to help me get control of my weight. I think it was fate that I came across your page on Facebook and joined your five-day challenge. I immediately binged all of your podcasts. At that time, you only had about 30, so I was able to get through them pretty quickly. Now, here you are at almost a hundred episodes. I sit back and think of all the help that you’re giving to all the beautiful ladies out here, trying to find a way to get control of their weight. These podcasts really do motivate and inspire women to live their best lives in a body that they love. I’ve told you over and over, I’m so thankful that I took a chance and joined your group. You really do change lives. The weight loss is just the cherry on top. Here’s to the next hundred episodes. Dana.

 

Oh my goodness. I love me some Dana. I do, you know, I love all the ladies, you know. I’m so proud of Dana. Dana just hit her maintenance weight. She hit her natural weight, her goal weight, and I’m just so proud of all the work that she has done. She’s beautiful. She is an Ambassador for Transform Boss Weight Loss, and I just love her. She is, I don’t know. She’s inspirational, beautiful, the sweetest soul, and Dana, I love you. And thank you for leaving this beautiful review.

 

If you find what you learn here valuable, you can also help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating the show. Also subscribe. You can do that by hitting the follow button or clicking the plus sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you’re listening. This way, every Wednesday morning I’m in your library.

 

Love, I am so excited. I am. I tell you, I love all the things that are happening in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and this weekend, this Saturday. So I’m recording this on a Sunday morning and this Saturday is our Transform Boss live event. This is an event that I do twice a year for all my ladies in Transform Boss, and you know, it’s, it’s such a fun event. It’s, you know, a four and a half, five-hour event. And you know, I teach, coach, we have awards. My husband comes on. My grandbabies for sure will make an appearance. My son always makes an appearance too. And I just can’t wait. I love spending this time with the ladies. It’s an immersive experience where ladies really get to do the work and they walk out of that event, one, knowing what to do next, but two, really having ahas and really, you know, just blowing their own minds. Oh, I cannot wait. And it’s this Saturday. It’s like six days away. I cannot wait.

 

So what I did for myself before the event, because I really like to rest and take some time and do a lot of thought work and really get my mind in a place that I can really just give 150%. And so my husband and I, we actually took a trip to San Diego and we just got back last night and, oh my love, I forget, you know, the pandemic, we have just not traveled as much. And we used to travel all the time and I forget how much I just love San Diego. We, you know, the beach and the sound of the waves and just the air and the people. I mean, I tell you, my love, we just had the best time, and we had some fun too. We saw a show too. So we just, it was just such a great time to rest, to have some fun, and to really just unwind and disconnect.

 

And it’s so important. I think our lives just get so busy and just full. And we have all of these things and really coming back and just disconnecting and allowing ourselves to just be. And it leads me really right into this topic today, which are the basic functions that we have as humans. You know, we have some basic things that our bodies need to survive – like water, sleep, food and air. I mean, these four things, if you don’t have them, I mean, you will die. Like they’re basic things that our bodies need to survive.

 

Our bodies are amazing. I mean, if you think about how our bodies have evolved, I mean, we really are these amazing beings, but in our time, the time that we live today, we’re busy. And, you know, we have just filled our lives with all of these things, right? We have to do lists that are huge, then add in social media and TV and all of these ways that we just buffer. And buffering is just a way that we disconnect and you know, sometimes fine, right? I watch a little TV, I, you know, get on social media. But what happens is when it has a negative consequence, when it has, you know, it’s taking more away from the things that you want to do so that you can move forward, so that you can become your best self, that’s when it becomes problematic.

 

And we overlook how important some of these basics are to our bodies. You know, we’ve heard about it for so long. My whole life, I’ve heard about, you know, drinking water, getting sleep, how important it is. But for those of us who have struggled with those simple things, we just push them to the side. We just, you know, oh, I’ll get to that later. But it is so important. I think about sleep. And you know, if you think about sleep, sleep is so important. And I’m going to talk about sleep and water just for a moment. But if you want to have a deep dive into it, go back to podcast 11, I really dive into sleep and water.

 

So you think about sleep and how important it is. And I know for, you know, some of you ladies who are listening, it is one of those things you struggle with, but it is so important to our body. Our body in the middle of the night, or whenever you sleep. I know some of, some of my ladies, they work at night and they sleep during the day. But whenever you sleep, that is when your body is rejuvenating. It’s when your body is repairing and doing all of these higher level functions so that your body can be its best. And when you don’t have enough sleep, you can, I mean, ladies, like you feel tired.

 

And what happens is that is a trigger to overeat. When you feel tired, you go into your automatic brain because your body is trying to, you know, reserve its energy because you don’t have a lot. Because you haven’t gotten enough sleep, your body goes into automatic. This is so important my love, goes into automatic and it wants to conserve energy. And so then you go back to all those old beliefs when you are tired.

 

It’s why being tired is a trigger to overeat, a trigger to not show up for yourself, a trigger to just want to disconnect and spend hours on social or watching TV. And again, none of that’s bad unless it’s having a negative consequence. And so, understanding how important sleep and rest is, allowing your brain to rest, right, from all the thoughts.

 

Think about how much information we take in in a day. I mean, I think about my poor brain and just think about when we’re watching TV or we’re scrolling social media, or we’re just outside in the world, or we’re at work, think about how much information is coming at us. How many decisions, how many things that we have to do. And sleep is a time for your body to repair, a time for your brain to, you know, dream and go into all of the things that it needs to do so that again, you can be your best self.

 

So now water ladies, I know, I mean, we are, I mean, I was, you know, a diet Coke all the time drinker. Before diet Coke, it was regular Coke or milk. I was a big milk drinker in my early twenties. And I say this loves, because I didn’t, I didn’t like water. I didn’t want to drink it. And I thought, okay, I got enough from my food and from my other things, and you can, right. Our bodies are amazing. Our body will filter out the water from, you know, food and from, you know, all of the other things that we do, but water is essential to our body, to our survival.

 

You can, you know, go without food for a few weeks, but you cannot, I mean three days without water and your body starts shutting down. It needs water to survive. And just understanding that when you’re dehydrated, your body goes into survival mode and it just starts hanging on to everything, it starts fearing that you’re not going to get water, and needless to say, even food, right? I mean, it just goes into like, Hey, we got to lock everything down. We’ve got to store everything as fat. So going into this whole survival mode, it’s not what we want my love. And it starts when our body is dehydrated.

 

And it’s also sends up because it’s sending think about this. So your body is going into survival mode. And so it’s sending all these signals to you, drink water, drink, drink, I need water. But what happens is because we’re not connected to our bodies. We’re like, oh, I need to eat. Right? Because your body is like, Hey, we’re going to shut down. We’re dehydrated.

 

So your body is like, eat, do whatever. I need some water. I’ll filter it out. That’s what your body’s doing. And so just understanding how important water is to your body. Now, if you don’t like water, there’s lots of ways to get it in these days. Right. They make little, you know, drink packets and different things that you can put in your water, lemon or lime or even fruit, right, where you can put it in. So it gives a little bit of flavor. But you know, I think that I’ll give you a tip that I, when I first, cause I wasn’t a big water drinker, but what I started to do was room temperature water. And I would just kind of guzzle it.

 

I would just take, even if I started with four ounces of water, because I could drink it really fast if it was room temperature. It’s a little more difficult if it’s, you know, cold water to drink it fast. So, you know, if you’re really wanting like, okay, Shannan, I’m going to try to get in some water, you know, just try it with four ounces. Okay, I’m going to start with four ounces and I’m going to just drink it room temperature, and I’m gonna drink it really fast and then move. It’s so interesting. I love room temperature water. I actually like colder water. I like will wait for it to kind of get to room temperature or I’ll even put like some warmer water in. We just, we have one of those, you know, things that you put the big water jugs in and it, the water comes out, but it’s cold. And so it also has where the water is hot.

 

I’m not kidding. Like when I’m filling my water bottle, I put like, you know, three fourths of it is the cold, but a fourth of it is the hot water so that it brings it to kind of room temperature. That’s just what I’ve gotten used to. And it, again, I can drink it and now I enjoy it. So I don’t need to guzzle it. But sometimes I do, especially if I’m behind in my water.

 

So water my love, get it in. Because if you don’t, you’re dehydrated and it just sends off all sorts of alarm bells in your body. You’ll want to overeat. You’ll feel tired. You’ll feel lethargic. Water will give you energy. If you’re feeling really tired, before you go to caffeine, try some water first. Just some tips for you my love.

 

Now, the third thing that I want to talk about today is breath. You and your breathing. Breathing’s automatic. We don’t have to think about it. You know, it’s just something that our bodies do, right? It’s like core. We need air to live and our bodies just do it. And we don’t have to think about it. But I want to dive a little deeper into the importance of breath. See my love, when we breathe, and when we take a deep breath and we exhale, our body has a reaction, it actually calms our nervous system.

 

And this is really important because I find that as I continue my own work, and as I continue doing this work, you know, I used to, of course, we’ve all heard about meditating and you know, all the things or even in yoga, right? We practice, you know, when you take a yoga class, a lot of times there’ll be some deep breathing. But for me, you know, meditating was something that was really hard, I’ll say. And I just, you know, had a hard time kind of calming my mind and you know, deep breathing and what I started to do when I was first learning this was just stopping and taking a deep breath and exhaling. And it took about, you know, 15 seconds, not even, right.

 

And I started noticing that when I did that, that it did really, this sense of calm came over me and it was just a deep breath. And sometimes I would do it for two or three. And I just want to offer this to you my love, because we make things so complicated. Well, I’ve got to go meditate. I’ve got to go take a yoga class. I’ve got to practice deep breathing. My love, it just starts with a simple, deep breath and exhale. And you’ll notice that your body will have a reaction. It calms our nervous system. It brings you into awareness. You’ll have this sense of calm. It brings down your stress response. Also known as cortisol. And it does some other really interesting things, like relieve pain or lower your blood pressure.

 

I want to share this story about when I had my son. So when I had my son, Taylor, many, many moons ago, I had decided that I wanted a midwife. I don’t know, I was young. I don’t know. It’s interesting to me now. Cause I’m like, I don’t know what I was thinking, but I did not. I don’t know. I had heard about epidurals and they just kind of freaked me out. And this was way back before the internet or before you could research or anything. I’m not, I mean, I think if I had a baby today, maybe I would do an epidural, but back then, I just, I didn’t like it. I think someone might’ve told me a story about it and it freaked me out.

 

And so I went to a midwife and you know, so when I had Taylor, I didn’t have any drugs. I didn’t have any epidural or anything. I was in labor with him for about 16 hours or so. And the thing that really, I learned this back then, but you know, through time I had forgot for a bit. That was the breathing was, you know, when I was, you know, having a contraction when I was, you know, in this immense amount of pain, I would just start focusing on my breath and, you know, taking deep breaths and exhaling, taking short breath, right. Just kind of really focusing on my breath and my exhale of my breath. And it really did relieve the pain.

 

And I say this to you my love, because even to this day, like let’s say I, you know, sometimes I get a headache and when I get a headache now, before I reach for, you know, the ibuprofen or whatever, I will take a moment and you know, I will drink some water and then I’ll just take a few breaths, like some really good breaths and some really good exhales. And I tell you, it is amazing to me how often I don’t need, you know, anything else. Like just doing this, getting my water and just taking some breaths and really kind of focusing and allowing my shoulders to relax and allowing, you know, myself to just kind of come into this calm state, and my headache will go away.

 

And I just say this my love, because you know, we, we forget, we really do underestimate the power of these simple tools – sleep, water, and breath. They take about, I mean not the sleep part, but the water and the breath, they take about a minute or two. Your body, your body needs things love. We just can’t be these heads walking around. Our bodies need us to pay attention. Our bodies need certain things, like primal, like basic things. And we live in this world that’s so fast paced, sometimes that we just forget about the simple things.

 

So I just want to remind you today – sleep, water, and a breath, and an exhale. I tell you my love, those three simple things will help you in your weight loss journey. It will help you come into awareness. It will help you, you know, get out of survival mode and all the triggers that that brings. It’ll help calm your nervous system. I know my love, simple things.

 

So the transformational questions and actions today are one, how can you remind yourself to take a moment and breathe. And number two, why do you want to do it? Why is it important? And number three, go back and listen to episode 11. This is where I really dive into water and sleep.

 

And if you love this work and you want to take it deeper, take my free course, go to bflycoaching.com/ready, R E A D Y. So good.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

Ep #107: What to Eat and How to Reconnect With Your Body 2.0

Ep #107: What to Eat and How to Reconnect with Your Body 2.0

It is officially fall and beautiful. The cool breeze. I love this time of year. All the celebrations, all the different foods that comes with the season and coming holidays.

We are still in our 2.0 series and this episode we are going to dive into your body and hunger.

This is the 2.0 version of Becoming the Scientist of Your Own Body, which is episode 9 – take a listen if you have not listened to it.

We have been told what to eat, when to eat – but your body knows what it needs. Take your power back. Our bodies are all different – just like our fingerprints. What fuels me may not feel good in your body.

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into hunger.

I will show you all the clues to recognize true hunger, what does hunger feel like in your body, and signs you are full. How to reconnect to your body.

You will also learn about “Puddle Foods” and what that means.

I will give you tips around hunger and snacking. I will also give you 2 questions you can ask yourself whenever you think you are hungry.

Losing weight is an inside job – coming back and reconnecting to your body.  Over and over again. Don’t make any of this complicated.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • Our bodies are all different – just like our fingerprints
  • How to lose the fear of food
  • How to reconnect with your body
  • What a puddle food is

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. Pick a meal.
  2. Slow down, pay attention.
  3. Just ask yourself how am I feeling?

If you love this work and you want to take it deeper, then take my free course.  Go to bflycoaching.com/ready.

Featured on the Show:

    • Take my free mini course here
    • Learn more about becoming the scientist of your own body in Episode #9 – bflycoaching.com/9

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 107. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves. So happy to be back with you. And today we are still diving into our 2.0 series, and we’re going to dive into your body and hunger.

 

But first, I want to do a listener shout out, and this is to Melissa Lynch. I’ve been on a diet roller coaster for over 35 years. I’ve been with Transform for about a year. I was very nervous to join. I kept telling myself that I didn’t have the money to join. Then I just decided to take the plunge and try it. This has been the best thing to happen to me. I have lost 38 pounds and have kept it off. This is the only time that I’ve kept it off. I am eight pounds from my goal weight. This has totally changed my life. And I finally have the support I need. I’m so glad that Transform popped up on my Facebook page and gave a five-day challenge for free. Shannan is a very true person and totally loves you all the way through.

 

Oh my goodness. You know, I love me some Melissa. Melissa is one of our Transform Bosses and you know, Melissa, I hope you’re listening, because I just love you all the way. And she is such a beautiful soul. And she’s just part of this amazing group of women. My Transform Bosses are just amazing. We just had this large group, you know, we closed for the year and we had this large group of women, you know, come and join Transform. And I have to say they are amazing. Women are just the most beautiful souls. So thank you, Melissa. I just love you.

 

And if you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and a rating of the show. It takes about two minutes, and it really does help other women find this work. Also subscribe. You can do that by hitting the follow button or clicking on the plus sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you’re listening. This way, every Wednesday morning I’m in your library.

 

My love, it is officially fall. I know, I love it. I know for some of you, winter is coming. But I live in Arizona, and I love winter and fall. It is my favorite time of the year. We are in October and this is just a season that I love. I love October, November, and December and January.

 

They are probably my most favorite four months of the year. I love all the things. I love the weather here, and I love all the holidays and birthdays. We have so many fun things. I love the beginning of a year. So, I don’t know. I just, I was thinking, I am turning 50 in November and I’ve been thinking about, you know, all the fun things I’m doing to celebrate my 50th birthday. And I really want, you know, the next four months to really be present and spend a lot of time with my family and my friends and myself and I just cannot wait, my loves. I just cannot wait.

 

I’m kicking off October, my husband, as I’m recording this actually today is Paul and I’s 13th wedding anniversary, and I have to tell you my loves, 13 years. I feel so very blessed. I feel that emotional talking about it, actually. I feel really blessed to have found this other human who I get to grow with, and I get to love him. And I get to feel the love that he gives to me. And we continue to grow in our relationship and we continue to just, you know, find this amazing love. And it is really such a blessing.

 

We’re leaving this week, we’re going to California for a couple of days. I haven’t been to California since the whole, well, I went to Lake Tahoe, so that’s not the total truth, but I haven’t been to where we normally go in California, which is the beach. We love San Diego. And I have not been there, you know, since, you know, before the pandemic and you know, we are going there. We’re leaving on Thursday and I can’t wait. We’re going, we have a hotel that’s on the beach. And I just can’t wait to walk on the beach and with Paul and just, you know, have some downtime and some rest and celebrate us. I know, so fun. Right? I can’t wait. I love the anticipation of things, right? It’s, it’s, you know, part of the fun.

 

So let’s get into today’s show. This is the 2.0 version of becoming the scientist of your own body, which is episode #9, so take a listen to that if you’ve not listened to it. I think about, you know, my journey in the weight loss, right? I think about when I was young and you know, it was all about counting calories and then a little bit of Weight Watchers too. And then I went into kind of the, everything was low-fat era, you know, with Susan Powter and low-fat salad or no-fat, right? Snackwell’s.

 

And, you know, then we went into Atkins and, you know, just over time and again, Weight Watchers was always there. And then the pre-packaged meals came, and all the different exercise programs. I mean, I think about my life of diet and exercise, and it really has, you know, continually is changing. And I think it’s changing because at the end of the day, dieting doesn’t work because those are outside things. If someone hands you a food plan and says, Hey, eat it. One, do you even like what’s on it? And two, does it even feel good in your body? Is it what your body needs? And that’s why they don’t work.

 

And most of them are restrictive. And, you know, I tell you, it’s a, I think a bazillion dollar business, right? I mean, if you think of the diets and all the different plans and all the different things, and you know, I did it, I did it for so many years. I would keep going back over and over again to the same thing, hoping this time it would work.

 

Really, how I lost weight for the last time, how I help my clients lose weight for the last time, it is reconnecting to your own body. It’s becoming aware, paying attention, deciding on purpose, what you want to fuel your body with, and what you like, what you enjoy. And, you know, we’ve been told what to eat, when to eat. But your body knows. Your body really does know.

 

You know, I think about this when, you know, sometimes I’ll have, you know, lower iron. And so it’s so funny to me, my body always knows. I’ll find that I start craving, you know, like hamburgers and I’m not a huge meat eater. I like meat, but you know, it’s, you know, I could go a couple of days and not eat meat and be fine. But boy, if my body starts craving hamburgers or a steak, I know I’m low on iron. And then I can go, you know, get my blood work done, and boom, I know I need more iron. And I say this because our bodies are amazing. They are so amazing.

 

Somewhere, we lost this because we’ve just been traumatized by diet culture. But our bodies know. We have hormones that tell us when we’re hungry, tell us when we’re full. And our bodies are all different. Just like our fingerprints. If you think about it, every human on the planet has a different fingerprint. We all have different things that make up our bodies, and certain foods feel good in my body and certain foods don’t. And your body is different than mine.

 

There are certain foods that would feel good in your body that don’t in mine and vice versa. I think about this with all of my ladies who are in Transform Boss, I think about how different, and the things that feel good in their bodies, and then the things that don’t. And you know, the first part of this process is really just deciding that you want to take your own control back, and you want to stop dieting.

 

And the second part is just starting to come into awareness, starting to pay attention to how food feels in your body. So go back to episode #9, that episode is all about how to become the scientist of your own body and how to figure out what fuels your body and what foods are non-fuel, and then how to make the decision on how you want to make your realistic plan.

 

But today I want to dive into hunger. And hunger is part of our survival. We have these hormones in our body that tell us when we’re hungry and it’s a natural part of our body. I know, I just really want you to like, think about that for a second. It is okay to be hungry. It is part of how our bodies run.

 

We are supposed to eat and enjoy food, and it is part of our makeup. We also have hormones in our body that tell us when we’re getting full, when we’re getting satiated. But my love, because of diet culture, we don’t even know what hunger feels like. And we have a fear of hunger. Again, this is how we’re programmed, right? We have Lizzie, right? It’s this primal urge in us that if we start to feel hunger, we’ll have a fear. I remember all the times that I used to travel, I would have this fear that there wouldn’t be food on the plane or when I’d get to my hotel room. Oh my goodness. What if I didn’t have a snack?

 

And again, food is pretty much for most of us, if you’re listening to this podcast, probably 99% of you, you have a lot of food around. And so it’s just really starting to pay attention that, oh, okay. That’s just this primal fear, everything’s okay. Lizzie lay. Now we have plenty of food around us.

 

And so just starting to understand some of this, you know, programming that you know is just to keep you alive. It’s your survival mechanisms, but it doesn’t mean that, you know, we at that moment that we’re really hungry. Sometimes we’re just dehydrated. And my love because we’re so disconnected from our bodies, we don’t know, we can’t tell the difference.

 

And we have a very difficult time because of diet culture, you know, really understanding what is physical hunger and what is emotional hunger. We have lost our ability to be connected to our own bodies, to feel, you know, what real physical hunger feels like. So I want to teach you in this episode today and give you some tips on how to reconnect with your body and start to feel hunger again. And what true physical hunger feels like.

 

And then also how to start to feel when you’re feeling full, when you’re starting to feel satiated or satisfied so that you can stop eating before you get to the, oh, I’m stuffed, right? Or I’m bloated because I ate too much, or I don’t feel good because you know, I’ve eaten all this food and now I just feel horrible.

 

So to start noticing when you’re hungry, you’re going to come into awareness. And you’re just going to start asking yourself a question. Remember, how to bring yourself into awareness, the easiest way is by asking yourself questions. And so you’re going to pick just one meal a day. Don’t make this complicated by being, or trying to be perfect and do all the things. Don’t do that. Just pick one meal. And about 30 minutes before you would normally eat that meal, I just want you to check in with yourself and just ask yourself, well, how am I feeling right now? How is my body feeling? And then ask yourself, am I hungry?

 

I know, it sounds so simplistic. Like what? Just ask myself how I’m feeling? Am I hungry? But you will be amazed at practicing this over and over again, how this coming into awareness, you start to feel these different hunger cues in your body. And you know, here are some signs that you are physically hungry. So, your stomach may feel a little empty. You start thinking I’m hungry, you start feeling, it’s almost like little wisps or whispers in your belly, and would a fuel food work.

 

Meaning like, if you ask yourself, I’m so hungry right now I could eat a chicken breast, right? If it’s emotional hunger, and you ask yourself that question, you know, if your Lizzie’s like, oh no, no, we need the salted chocolate caramel. That is the only thing. Then you are onto yourself that maybe that is emotional hunger.

 

So again, you just start paying attention. And it’s important too not to let yourself get too hangry, as they call it, right? Where you’re just, you haven’t eaten and you are starving. You want to start to eat when you’re just, again, you start to feel that little, your stomach feels a little empty and you start noticing this thought like, Ooh, I’m getting hungry, I’m starting to feel hungry. And also, always try some water. You know, there are many times where we think we’re hungry when really we’re just a little dehydrated. Now calming yourself and coming into awareness before a meal, this is what I really work through with my clients in Transform Boss. You don’t have to save up for a meal or feel out of control.

 

This, my love, is about losing the fear of food, because you can eat anything you want. And when you start paying attention, you will notice that it’s easier to feel your hunger and fullness cues. Now here’s some signs that you’re starting to approach full. You’re starting to feel a little satisfied. You’ll start to notice things like your mind starting to wander. You know, this happens to me a lot when I’m starting to eat, and then the next thing I know, you know, anytime, you know, I’m like, oh, pick up my phone, then I know, okay, I’m done. Right. You’ll start to notice maybe too, like maybe your belly kind of extends a little bit. Or if you take a sigh, whew. Like anything like that, a deep breath, you’re kind of starting to run out of room down there. And so, right. And so those are just signs that you’re approaching satiated or satisfied.

 

Now, another trigger that you are full is when you start thinking, I need the perfect bite. It’s such a tricky thought. When you start trying to put together on your plate the perfect bite, because you want it to taste as good as the first bite, that is a sign that you are full. And I tell you love, it is such a tricky thought, because you’re, you know, looking for that perfect bite. But my love, you already had the perfect bite. It was the first bite and every bite thereafter, just continually because you start approaching full, and then your body starts sending signals like, Hey, we’re done. That is how you know, okay, I’m satisfied.

 

Now I want to talk about puddle foods. Yes. P U D D L E. So I teach a concept called puddle thoughts. These are indulgent and dramatic thoughts that we like to play in the puddle. They really keep us from achieving our goals, but we also have puddle foods. These are foods that we’ve told ourselves that we cannot eat them and be in control. We have these thoughts, like they just take over, right? I can’t, you know, if I have a piece of chocolate cake, I’m just going to like eat the whole cake.

 

And you’ve told yourself that you love this food so much, that you can’t control yourself around it. But my love, you’re always in control. You do have an automatic brain, but you’re in charge of it. And I just want you to be aware of those foods so that when you’re eating them, you can stop and do this practice of asking yourself questions of, am I hungry? And really paying attention to some of those cues of when you’re starting to get full. Love, you’re always in control. Always.

 

I know, like sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, but you are. And you know, ladies tell me all the time, but Shannan, I just love the food. Like love it. So do I, my love, but I really love food now. I love it so much that I pay attention to it. See, when you’re in your car and you’re eating it and you’re eating it so fast that you don’t even taste it, or you’re standing up at the kitchen counter and you’re just eating it while you’re scrolling on your phone, you’re not even enjoying it. You are not even paying any attention to it.

 

And so I want to offer you that when you start this process of awareness of really starting to pay attention, you will find foods that you thought you liked, that you don’t even really like. And you’ll also start to find foods that you really enjoy that fuel your body too. And so I just want to challenge you on this thought that I just love the food. Okay my love. When you love things, you pay attention, you, right? That’s what we do.

 

So, pay attention, come into awareness. And I want to just offer too, we have thoughts around food, but my love, food is just food. It is just an object. And food will never love you back. When you start to slow down, come into awareness, you start paying attention, start savoring, really loving your food and your body you’ll want to fuel it with foods that you enjoy and that feel good in your body. I don’t want a stomachache any longer. I just don’t. I don’t like feeling lethargic. I like having energy. And I still enjoy my favorite foods because I know that point, that bite that I’m satisfied. Satiated. I don’t need to eat all of it because I’ll have it again. Food is not going away. It will be there. I don’t have to eat all of it.

 

I think about this with a pumpkin muffin. So it’s fall. Pumpkin season is in full swing, and I love pumpkin. And every year, you know, I love to have a pumpkin muffin from Starbucks and you know, I’ve had one this year and when I ordered it, I brought it home and I, you know, heated it up and I sat with it and I really enjoyed it. I savored it and I paid attention, and I didn’t have to eat the whole thing because I knew at that point of when I felt satiated, and then I threw the rest of it away. And then I just moved on. I don’t have to worry that I’ll never eat it again. Or that suddenly I’m going to become this different person who doesn’t eat pumpkin muffins. No, I eat pumpkin muffins, and I don’t have to have this scarcity thinking around food.

 

This is the diet trauma, my love that lives in our body. We have this fear that we’re never going to eat it again, that we’re going to go on some diet and we’re going to be so “good” that we never have the food again, but it is a lie. Because my love you’re going to eat it again, and it’s going to be there. And so, when you can just practice that thought over and over again, that food is available, I’m in control. And I’m just going to come into awareness and pay attention because I love feeling good. I love when I feel energy, I love feeling satiated.

 

So here are some tips. So again, emotional eaters love, we have tied so many emotions to food, negative and positive. And you know, the question that I love to ask myself is just would a plain chicken breast do right now? And if the answer is no, then it’s just a chance for me to see what’s really happening. Are there feelings that I don’t want to feel? Am I stressed right now? Am I tired? Do I just need, you know, a glass of water?

 

The second tip I want to offer you is if you’re a snacker, so, and what I mean by this is you’re maybe like a grazer. So as we don’t have children in our house anymore, I’m a grazer. A lot of times, Paul and I like, we don’t have full like sit down meals, like, we’ll just have like, you know, an English muffin and then maybe we’ll have some yogurt or a cheese stick. And so what I do is I decide what I’m going to eat. I make my realistic plan. And then towards the evening, I’ll put all of the things on a plate. So, I’ll put my English muffin, my cheese stick, my little thing of yogurt, and then I’ll put it in the fridge. And then I just keep going back to that plate throughout the night and eating off of it.

 

And what it does is I get to look at that plate and think, oh, that’s a full meal. See, we like, to us grazers, we like to trick ourselves that, oh, I’m not really eating a full meal. And so then, you know, I’ve done this, you know, in my life, plenty of times. I’ve eaten all the things, right. You can do this too, right? Like if you’re eating chips or lots of different little things like even fruit, right. Just put a little fruit, just put it on a plate and then you can keep going back to that plate. And you’ll find that you won’t have that kind of thought that it’s not a full meal.

 

Now, as you do this process, you will start to find foods that you like, and you’ll start to find foods that you don’t. Now, if you’re a Transform Boss and you’re listening, we have a worksheet it’s called, Do I Really Like It? And do that with one of your puddle foods. Right? And because what you’ll notice is sometimes we think we love food, but after you really slow down and taste it, you’ll find that maybe you don’t really love it. For me, it was Hershey chocolate bars and M&Ms, I used to think I loved it. And when I really slowed down and paid attention, I really found that I didn’t like it. It just tasted to me like cheap chocolate.

 

Now another tip is just again, asking yourself these two questions: Am I hungry? And how am I feeling right now? No perfection. Right? Choose one meal. And just decide on purpose for that one meal that you are going to ask yourself questions, and you are going to come into awareness. See my love, losing weight is an inside job, coming back and reconnecting to your body over and over again.

 

So to recap, take one meal, slow it down, pay attention, savor it, notice how it feels in your body. And ask yourself, how am I feeling? Am I hungry? Just bringing yourself into awareness and thinking, oh, it’s everything , my love. Don’t make any of this complicated.

 

And the transformational questions and actions are one, pick a meal. Two, slow down, pay attention. And three, just ask yourself, how am I feeling? I tell you my loves, those questions are so powerful. And just asking yourself a question brings you into awareness.

 

And if you love this work and you want to take it deeper than take my free course. Go to bflycoaching.com/ready. Bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

Ep #106: Breaking Up with Dieting 2.0

Ep #106: Breaking Up with Dieting 2.0

We are in our 2.0 series, and in this episode I want to talk about how to lose weight for the last time by breaking up with dieting.

I have to tell you about my new Peloton. I just got it and I love it! I used their app before. They have all kinds of different classes – spinning, yoga, pilates, whatever you may be looking for. But I love to move my body, and the key is just finding what you like to do and what is fun for you. If you want to learn more about movement in depth make sure you listen to episode #30 on movement.

One of the fundamentals I teach is the Realistic Plan. If you want to learn more about that in depth go back to episode #6 – bflycoaching.com/6.

We have so much trauma around dieting – what we should or should not eat. Good or bad food makes us good or bad.  Food is just food. Not good or bad.

The realistic plan is about allowance not restriction.

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into how you can up-level your Realistic Plan over time and break up with dieting – for good! Making sure it is Realistic and not Idealistic.

You will learn how to lose the fear of food.

Are you ready to break up with dieting?

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • The power of the Realistic Plan has nothing to do with food
  • Good or bad food does not make us good or bad
  • How to lose the fear of food

Transformational Questions/Actions:

  1. Make a Realistic Plan – Meet yourself where you are, no restriction.
  2. Watch your brain and see what comes up, what beliefs or fears do you have around food.
  3. Give yourself some kindness and grace. No beating yourself up.

And if you want to take this work deeper, then take my free course. Go to bflycoaching.com/ready.

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the weight loss for successful women podcast. With Shannon Christiansen episode number 106. Welcome to weight loss for successful women. A podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host fortune 100 executive and certified life coach Shannon Christiansen. Hello, love so happy to be back with you.

So we are in a two dot O series where I am going a little deeper on some of the concepts that I teach. And today I want to talk about how to lose weight for the last time by breaking up with dieting. Oh yes, you heard me right. Let’s break up with it. But first I want to do a listener, shout out and today’s is from Viva.

Listening to Shannon. Talk about losing weight while discovering all your strengths is a pleasure. She teaches you different techniques on how to feel your feelings so that you can stop buffering them with food. She also teaches you how to lose weight. Well, you shall love grace and compassion for yourself. That is what healthy weight loss is all about. Ooh, love it.

I love the title of a Viva’s review breakthrough in weight loss. Oh ladies. I mean, it is about learning how to have more love and more compassion and more grace as you reconnect with your body, as you break all of those diet beliefs and all of the diet trauma that we’ve had. So Viva, I love it. Thank you so much for the review and my love.

If you find what you learn here, valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show. Also subscribe. You can do that by hitting the follow button or clicking on the plus sign in apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you’re listening this way every Wednesday morning. I’m right in your library. So love,

I don’t think I’ve talked about my new Peloton on the podcast. So I have been wanting a Peloton for a couple of years now and, you know, decided to buy one and so excited. They went on this really big sale and some other things that happened and decided, you know, that I, we were going to buy a Peloton and I just have to tell you,

I mean, I’m not getting paid or anything, but I really do love the Peloton. I’ve always loved their classes. I ha had their app, even before I had the Peloton where I could do like, you know, Pilates, they have all sorts of classes, stretching, you know, yoga, all the things. And I just have to say we had it delivered and I have been doing it and I love it.

And you know, I really love the instructors. They make it super fun. They’re super inspirational. And I’ve always loved spinning. It feels good to me. Like my body loves it. I get excited about it. I love the music in my ears. It’s easier on my knees. I just, I really do love it. And I say this ladies because our bodies really love to move.

And I talk about this. If you’ve never listened to my podcast on movement, it’s episode number 30. So for sure, go back and listen to that. But you know, I really do love to move my body. And when I was on the diet rollercoaster, it was all about losing weight. And I would do these things. I didn’t like,

like trying to run. I mean, seriously, I don’t like running. I it’s just, I don’t like it and it doesn’t feel good in my body. It feels hard on my body. And I say this ladies, because we have all of these diet beliefs and all of these things that just, it keeps us really stuck. And we do things that don’t feel good and don’t feel good to our body.

So then Lizzie is like, we’re not doing that anymore. So then we associate everything with moving our body to exercise. Quote, unquote, I don’t even like the word to be honest because, but it’s not the truth. There are so many amazing ways to move your body that are fun. That you can love that you don’t have to like spend an hour or 30 minutes.

You can do it for 10. You could do it for five. I love to dance. I love to just walk. I mean, I tell you this ladies, because it goes with today’s episode, but we have all of these, you know, old style beliefs, right? We, if we lift weights, we lift them until we can’t walk for two days or move our arms for two days.

And I just think there’s a different way. And it’s with love and with like patience and fun. I love to move my body because I literally have so much fun doing it. You know, I’ve walked for years and it has nothing to do with my weight. I walked because my body likes it. And because it clears my mind. And so I just challenge all of you ladies to find movement that you love and get rid of all the time,

like how long you have to do it. And how many days a week, it’s all drama. Just when you’re in the mood, when you’re feeling it, go do it there on some music, dance around your house. I mean, there’s so many ways to have fun and movement. And if you have not listened to episode I’m movement, for sure,

go back to episode number 30. So as I am recording this podcast, I’m getting ready today to take my granddaughter to school. I always think it’s such a special treat. Anytime I get to take my grandkids to school or pick them up. And today is pretty cool. Cause I get to take Jess, my granddaughter. So I get a little time with her just one-on-one and I love that.

It’s just so she’s such a sweetheart and she’s so smart. And when it’s one-on-one, she really just, she tells me all the things. And so I am so excited because I get to do that today. So I hope all of you are doing something that you love today. So let’s get into it. One of the fundamentals that I teach, like core fundamentals is the realistic plan.

So if you don’t know what that is, go back to episode number six, and we’re going to link these episodes in the show notes. So you have them, but definitely go back to episode six. The basics of the realistic plan is you’re going to plan, make a decision ahead of time of what you’re going to eat for hours before you eat your first bite.

And now, you know, you just write down what you’re going to eat. You make it realistic, not idealistic. You meet yourself, right where you are and you do this. Not because it has anything to do with the food and you’re not doing this because you’re counting calories or anything. There’s none of that. You’re just writing down. I’m going to have pot roast and mashed potatoes for dinner and you know,

a roll or whatever it is. And you’re going to make it simple, right? It takes me two minutes a day to make my realistic plan. And today I want to go a little deeper on it and give you all the reasons why this tool, the realistic plan is really, it is such a breakthrough process in losing weight for the last time,

because the power of it has nothing to do with the food. I just want you to hear me again. I’m going to say it again because I want you to hear this, the realistic plan, even though you’re writing food, it has nothing to do with the food. It’s all about breaking your diet beliefs and your diet brain. AKA also known as breaking up with dieting love.

We have so much trauma around dieting. If you are a woman, especially if you’re in the United States and many other countries. I know I have listeners all over the world and I tell you, ladies, we have been told what to eat. When to eat, how much to eat with, by people who know nothing about our bodies by people who know nothing about what we like,

what feels good in our body. We have been told that our bodies are not good enough, that they should look different, be different. And we have all of these diet rules. So many, so many rules eat this much. You know, you can’t eat after 6:00 PM. You need eat six times a day. Then I was like, oh,

I need to eat only two times a day. And then it was things around I needed to, you know, only eat this sorts of foods. I need to cut out carbs. I need to, you know, not eat sugar, don’t eat any sugar, cut it all out. No flour, no sugar. I just, there were so many things that I have been told throughout my life.

I mean, early on it was, I needed to count calories. I needed to eat low fat and then it was, I needed to eat high fat. And I say this because what has happened is this has created trauma trauma in our bodies because it is such a negative experience. And we have experienced it over and over and over again. We have associated food with our worth.

I know I want you to really hear that we have associated food with our worth. We think of food that good food or bad food, healthy food, or not healthy food. And if we’re eating healthy food, then we’re good. And if we’re eating non healthy food, then we’re bad. Ladies. I just, I want you to, like,

this episode is so powerful because it’s all nonsense. Food is just food. It’s not good or bad. Are there foods that have more nutrients? Sure. But all food, most food has something in it. Honestly. It’s like some sort of nutrients. And so I say this because food is just food and it has nothing to do with your worth.

You are not good. If you eat certain foods and you are not bad, if you eat certain foods and you know, I tell you ladies, it’s so important because for so long, you know, before I started, you know, the process I teach now, I really, I mean, I was either all in, you know, restricting,

you know, eating quote unquote healthy, which, you know, it changed so many times during my life. And I wasn’t paying attention to my body. I was so disconnected or I was completely out bingeing. And then I felt bad. I, I labeled myself as bad. I, I, that I was broken that I wasn’t worthy. And it was all around food.

And I just want to tell you, and I want you to, I’m going to say this to you as your coach. I, I tell you food and your worth have nothing to do with each other. When we can disconnect food from our worth. My love, you begin to release the way. See when we tie food to our worth. And we are eating things that we have labeled as not healthy.

We feel bad and we feel disappointed. We feel discouraged. We have thoughts. Like I am never going to figure this out. Why can’t you control yourself, Shannon? I mean, all of those thoughts. And then when we feel that way, when we feel frustrated, disappointed, discouraged, we then perpetuate the cycle. We start to overeat. We beat ourselves up.

We start to disconnect even more from our body. The realistic plan is about allowance, not restriction. See diet trauma, all the diet things have taught us that we need to restrict to lose weight. You must restrict and you must exercise overexercise and do a million things. You have to burn the calories. And what I’ve learned through the process that I teach is all of that has created this fear around food,

this fear around what you’re eating and what you’re not eating when you’re eating, when you’re not eating. And when you start to make the realistic plan, when you start to make it realistic again, you’re going to meet yourself, right where you’re at. It starts to become about allowance, not restriction. See, when I started to lose my weight, when I first started making my realistic plan,

I had all the things on my plan. I remember I love Mexican food. It’s my favorite type of food. And I would go to this Mexican restaurant and I would order. And literally they would bring me three plates because I had my enchiladas on a plate and I had my tostada on a plate and I had my tacos on a plate. And then I would eat all the chips and salsa.

When I very first started my plan. I put the three plates of Mexican food on my plan, because that is where I was. See, this is not about restriction. I tell you, ladies, this is so important. We have done this so many times. We have gone from eating all the things to chicken and salad. We can white knuckle it for a couple of weeks,

and then we can’t do it any longer. So we might lose some weight. But then eventually we go back to the way we used to eat, because we never learned how to lose weight in a way that was allowance and love and freedom because restriction, you cannot do that for the rest of your life. I just it’s the truth. It’s why diets have like,

I don’t know, 1% success rate. I mean, it’s crazy. And then we keep going back to them. I tell you, ladies, we keep going back. We keep thinking it’s in a food plan and it’s not this I tell you. So when I started to lose my weight, I want to go back to that for a moment. I really made my realistic plan,

realistic. I put all the things that I was eating, the cookies, the Mexican food, whatever it was, because then I could one start to become aware of what I was eating. And next week I’m going to teach you about how to like really connect with your body and see how food feels in it. But when you’re first making your realistic plan,

the key, and I will say this over and over again is making it realistic. And I tell you my love. You just have to trust me. You do, because your brain Lizzie, she’s going to serve you up all the reasons why this is crazy. Don’t make it realistic. She’s going to want you to put chicken and salad. She’s going to want you to put,

you know, the good food quote unquote. And I’m telling you when you’re very first starting, you’re going to put all the things. And then over time, what happened when I was losing my way, I slowly, up-leveled slowly. I started to pay attention to, you know, how my body was feeling. I started to become aware of all of my diet beliefs and my love.

I broke up with dieting. I started feeling better. I was reconnecting with my body. And then once you start this process, this really amazing thing happens. You start to gain some momentum. You start to want to fuel it. You start loving foods that feel good in your body. You want to take care of your body more. When you’re at war with your body,

you want to disconnect from it. You don’t want to take care of it, my love. But when you reconnect, when you start paying attention, when you start becoming aware, you start losing the fear of food. You start losing the fear of failure. You start believing that you can eat a cupcake and that you can’t, that you’re not out of control.

That’s all the BS that we’ve been sold. You’re in control. You’re always the one in the driver’s seat. You always are the one who are making the decisions. Every day. You make a decision. Every day, you make a decision of what you’re going to eat. And this thought that you’re out of control. This thought that you’re, you know that you can’t do it.

It’s just all BS. It’s nonsense. It’s just the trauma. My love that has lived in our bodies because of the diet culture. Now I want to give you some tips when you’re getting started with this one, put all the things, meet yourself, right where you are, and then just start to pay attention to Lizzy hand confusion. Right? She loves to say like,

this is difficult. I don’t know what to put on my realistic clan love. That’s just Lizzie. She loves to pipe up. You don’t need to make it mean anything like, okay. Okay. Let’s see. I got ya. But right. You’re just gonna keep it simple. Remember, this is not about the food. You can also swap out food.

So if you put, oh, for dinner, you were going to have chicken, cheesy rice and a roll and some veggies. And then when it came to dinner time, you know, you forgot to lay out the chicken. So you end up going out to dinner and you end up getting a steak instead of chicken, a steak and chicken, very right.

That’s an even swap. And then instead of the cheesy rice, you’re going to have a baked potato, same thing. And so you can swap out food. Again, this is not about the food. So when you start to get confused, you don’t need to, it’s not about the food. Now. One of the questions I get asked a lot too is,

Hey, Shannon, I’m a snacker or quote unquote, a Grazer. And I know I really do understand that we don’t have children at home anymore. So Paul and I, a lot of times at night, instead of unquote for meals, we just kind of like put some stuff together and throughout the night, eat it. So if you are, you just put that on the plan too,

right? So I think about that, like I might like for dinner, quote unquote, right? He, even though I might be eating it over a few hours, it might be like, you know, an English muffin. It might be some chips at mozzarella cheese stick, right? You’re just going to put it on your plan. And I have another tip for you.

If you are a snacker. What I like to do is just pull a plate out and put all of the things that I’m going to snack on, on the plate. So I just put it on the plate and then I put it on my counter. I put it in my refrigerator, depending on what it is. And then I’ve made a decision ahead of time.

Remember the realistic plan. You can go back to episode six, but it’s about making decisions ahead of time with your thinking brain instead of Lizzie. And so I just put it on a plate, all the things that I’m going to snack on throughout the day or throughout the night. And then I just then eat what’s on that plate. I don’t go keep going back to,

you know, to the chip bag or to the cracker bag or, you know, all the things it’s just right there on one plate. And when I look at that, I’m like, oh, that’s a full meal. Because a lot of times when you’re snacking your brain, because of diet brain, we think, oh, that’s not a full meal,

so I’m still hungry. And, but if you put it all a plate and you look at all the things you’re going to quote unquote, snack, tell you my love. You’re like, oh yeah, that’s a full meal. And then it just changes something in your brain. And I want another tip that I want to give you, ladies, you make your realistic plan.

And if you eat off plan, so, you know, you made a plan and then you eat off plan. I just simply want you to ask yourself, why was it too idealistic? Was it too quote, unquote diety and or were there other emotions or triggers? Was it nighttime? Was it the weekends? You know, did you have some stress?

You know, what was it? Because this is very important as you’re really learning how to break your diet brain is just coming into awareness. Now, the second part of that is just what came up for you when you were making your realistic clan and you were making it realistic. When you put a cookie or pizza was some fear around it, understanding what’s happening in your brain and your fear around food.

All your diet rules. Love you have to break them. This is the time I love where you break up with dieting for good. And you learn to lose weight in a way that you can always do when you lose weight by eating in a way that feels good and feels like freedom. When you eat in a way that is allowance versus restriction, you can always do that so that when you lose your weight,

you don’t gain it back. There’s no gaining it back. There’s no yo-yoing and roller coaster. You got this. My love. It all starts with making this one simple, realistic plan, doing it one day at a time, one simple small step. Now the transformational questions aren’t actions are one, make a realistic plan. Meet yourself where you’re at no restriction to watch your brain and see what comes up.

What beliefs or fears do you have around food and three, give yourself some kindness and grace, my love no beating up. No beating yourself up. No, you know, when Lizzie starts piping up, you just give yourself some love and grace. And if you want to take this work deeper than take my free course, go to B-flat coaching.com forward slash ready bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of weight loss for successful women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to be fly. coaching.com. That’s B F L Y. coaching.com. See you next week.

 

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