Ep #113: 10 Lessons From the First 50

Ep #113: 10 Lessons from the First 50

Today is a very special episode.

I am turning 50 this week!

I want to share with you what I have learned in my first 50 years and what I want to do with the next 50 years.

Join me in this very special episode as I give you 10 lessons, I have learned in my first 50 years. Things like forgiveness, beliefs, failing, and most of all, love.

And how each of these lessons has led me to where I am today.

How each of these lessons helped me to lose weight for good and to live in a body I love.

I will also share 5 things I am going to do in my next 50 years. 

Things like less hustle and more rest. Helping women live their best life in a body they love.

Thank you for being a part of my first 50 years. I can’t wait to see what we do together in my next 50 years.

I believe in love. And Love, we are going to keep moving forward.

And if you want to go deeper on this work – do the free 8-day podcast challenge, go to bflycoaching.com/podcast8

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • That your dreams are on the other side of discomfort
  • That your weight does not define your worth
  • How our beliefs determine our outcome

Featured on the Show:

 

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 113. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love, so happy about with you. Today is a very special episode. I am turning 50 this week, and it’s Thanksgiving week, and I want to share with you 10 lessons that I’ve learned in my first 50 years, and tell you what I want to do with my next 50. I know that some of you my loves do not like birthdays or getting older, but I absolutely love it. I love that I get another year, another day, and it feels like such a blessing to me. I have lived this really human life, really human, full of amazing and painful experiences. And today I’m going to share with you 10 lessons that I’ve learned over this human experience. And then I’m going to share with you just the things that I want to focus on in my next 50.

So lesson number one is that a place, a house, things, they don’t matter. The human connection, that is everything. I go back to when I was a little girl moving around, not really fitting in, starting to feel like she did not belong, and something was wrong with her. See, my dad was in the Navy and I moved 16 times before I was 16. I could not even tell you what elementary school I went to.

I remember bits, but mostly, always all of it, I remember my family. My mom, my dad, and my brother. We had a lot of love in our house, and it was always us four. It was a family imperfect. My parents did better than their parents, and they always showed us love, even though they made plenty of mistakes too.

We had this really strong bond between the four of us. It makes me feel, I feel emotional thinking about the four of us. And through that I learned that family is everything. And that things, they really don’t mean that much. It’s the humans. It’s the connections. And I have built little families along the way – work families, friend families. I think of all the humans that I have been lucky enough to know as part of my family.

Number two, I learned from all the moving around that humans will come and go in your life, and it does not mean that anything has gone wrong. I believe that people are in your life to teach you so that you can show them love, or they are there to love you. I can look at every person from my past and feel so much love for each one of them. See, I think we’re taught somewhere, I’m not sure, that if someone has left or we have left, or the relationship is different, that something has gone wrong. We start to believe that something’s either wrong with them or something is wrong with us.

But nothing is wrong my love. Relationships change, and they ebb and flow. I have had so many relationships in my life. Friendships, family relationships, work relationships, and they change. They ebb and they flow. Sometimes a human is in my life and they’re there to teach me, or to, you know, love me, because sometimes that’s what I need.

And then I move into a different phase of my life or they move into a different phase of their life. And I think for some reason, we start to believe that we have to make it mean that one of us is wrong. And I just, I tell you one of the things that I have learned when I look back at all my relationships in all of my life, and I’ve had lots of them, I just love them. I love them.

If I saw them today, I would hug them and just give them nothing but love. I love this lesson because you know, I really have learned that people are going to come and go throughout your life and they’re there for a purpose. And when you can look back and just love the humans and really understand why they were there, what was the purpose that they were there for you, it changes everything.

Number three, forgiveness. You know, I think back to something I learned a really long time ago. I was really young. And I think about this with my son’s dad. We were married and, you know, we then went through a divorce and, you know, we were in kind of that separation process. And at the time actually, my ex-husband was, we were stationed in Germany and we were kind of going through all the rigmarole to get myself and Taylor, my son, back to the states.

And, you know, we were separated and we were in that, you know, just anger, frustration, fighting, all of these things. And I remember this one conversation, it was so powerful to me. And it was actually Taylor’s dad, and he said to me, he said, are we going to be those people? Are we going to be those people who argue and hate each other, and you know, that’s the relationship that we’re going to have? And it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized in that moment that I wanted to be different, that I wanted to forgive Taylor’s dad and forgive myself. And that I wanted a different relationship. I wanted to have a relationship, even though it was different. We were divorcing. I wanted to feel love for Taylor’s dad, because ultimately, I had so much love for Taylor that I wanted that for him. And I tell you, it just struck me that forgiveness is always the way.

See, I am an imperfect human. I have made a ton of mistakes. I have hurt the humans. And, you know, I have asked myself for forgiveness and I asked for it over and over again. Forgiveness my loves, is really for ourselves, because when we can forgive others and we can, you know, show love, then it helps us in the relationship with ourselves. Because ultimately, we are our worst critics. We’ve heard that. We judge ourselves so harshly. And when we can show others forgiveness and love, then we can start to show that to ourselves.

And so having this forgiveness for Taylor’s dad so early on in my life, it really did change our relationship. And, you know, throughout Taylor’s life, we didn’t have, you know, this contentious relationship. We just didn’t. And still to this day, you know, I have so much love for him because he gave me the greatest gift of my life. And, you know, it makes me emotional because you know what a different, if I would have thought differently, it would have been a different outcome. And I’m so grateful for that one moment where Chuck decided this is not who we want to be as parents. And it changed the way that I looked at forgiveness and loving the humans for the rest of my life. Showing forgiveness for myself and for others, I get the benefit of that. And it helps me to love and show grace and kindness to others and to myself.

Number four, dreams are on the other side of discomfort. Oh, I’ve learned this the hard way, my love. Every dream I’ve had, I’ve had to go through a lot of discomfort, doubt, fear. I think about my career. I have been in the financial service industry for almost 28 years, and somewhere in there, I started to learn that it was possible that I could achieve the dreams that I had. That I could break through ceilings. That I could become a senior vice president.

I remember applying for a vice-president job at my former company, and I knew that I was not going to get it. I kind of knew who was going to get it, but I decided that I was still gonna apply. I was still going to go through the process, because going through the process of feeling a ton of discomfort, that is how I became and started to become my future self.

See loves, when we go through discomfort, when we go through fear, love, that is where our dreams live, just right on the other side of that. I remember, you know, applying for this role, this vice-president job. And I remember I was getting ready to go in for, I think I had like four interviews in a row and I was standing in the bathroom stall and I was standing in there and I was just like getting my mind ready. And I had this moment of like, a just belief that I was going to be a vice-president, belief that it was possible for me. And I remember having chills all throughout my body. And I knew that I was going to become this vice president. I didn’t know how, I just knew that going through these interviews were going to help me and help my future self.

And I tell you my love, it did. It made me start to have this belief in myself, this fire in myself. And then when another opportunity came, I didn’t get that opportunity, but then when another opportunity came, I was ready. And now I’m a senior vice president, and I’m running my own company. And I just want to say dreams, they do come true. But you have to go through the discomfort, the doubt, and the fear. Showing up, believing, taking action, feeling all the discomfort, and then my love, anything is possible.

I really, the older that I get, I love turning 50. Have I said that, I really do, because the older that I get, I really do understand that whatever I dream, whatever I want, I can have the belief and it will come true. Maybe not in the way that I think it, maybe not in the timeline that I think it, but it will.

Number five, failure is the only way through. Oh, my love, I wanted to believe that if everything was perfect, then life would be like the fairytales that we watch on TV. But every dream, everything that I have done and accomplished has come through failure, not perfectionism. See, perfectionism has kept me stuck. It has kept me not taking action, not doing anything. When I know that I will fail, do it imperfectly, I move forward. When I think I have to be perfect, I stay in the same place.

See, my love, when I think about losing weight and losing weight for the last time, when I thought I had to be perfect, when I thought I had to restrict and, you know, work out a million times a week and do it perfectly, just like they did on Biggest Loser, then I did nothing. I would do nothing. I would keep telling myself I was going to start on Monday. I was going to do all the things.

But when I decided that I was going to fail, I was going to, you know, but I was going to keep showing up, and that failure was going to actually, that was the bridge. That was the path that was actually going to get me to my dreams, to my goals. See, we think if we do it perfect that it will get us to our goals faster. I want you to hear this because this is so important. But when we think we have to be perfect, that path, it actually just delays us. When you fail, and you fail over and over again, but you keep getting up, you keep moving forward, you will actually reach your dreams faster. That is the truth.

Number six, that all I control is me and how I show up. Oh my love, I want to control the humans. If they just did what I wanted. If they just did what I think they should do. But you know, my loves, I have no control. And there’s really only two things that I control. It’s what I think and how I show up. See, I can believe that all the humans should be different, but when I think that, I cause my own suffering.

I can want and ask for things from people in my life, but when they don’t want to do it or they don’t, then I can allow myself to feel frustrated, sad. Allow myself to feel that emotion. But then decide on purpose what I want to think and believe, and how I want to show up. Oh, I tell you my love.

Number six, this has really changed my relationships and the relationship that I have with myself, that when I decide on purpose, what I want to think, how I want to believe and how I want to show up, it does change just my overall energy. And when I allow the humans to just be the humans, when I drop the expectations, when I drop the “shoulds”, because I don’t want that from them, I for sure don’t want people telling me how I should be and what I should do. Yeah. And the other humans don’t like it either. So when I just drop all of that, and I just show up with love and kindness, and curiosity about why they think the way they think or why they show up the way they show up, my love, I feel better. So good, my loves.

Number seven, belief creates our outcomes. When I believe that the whole world is conspiring to help me, that everything is for me, the most amazing things happen. Belief is so powerful. See, whatever you think your brain focuses on, and whatever you believe that is what your brain does. And remember, our brains are biased, right? And so when you know, it’s kind of like, I always think of, you know, when you’re going to go buy a new car, right. Suddenly all you see is that car everywhere. Again, that’s the belief. And that is the bias, right. Confirmation bias. And so it’s important to understand.

See, I did not have the belief that I could lose weight. And when I had that belief, my brain, that’s what I was thinking, that was the beliefs that I had, and so, you know, I was, that’s the result. That’s the outcome that I had. I could not lose weight. But when I started to believe that I could lose weight for the last time then I did. And I know it sounds so simplistic.

This is the mindset work of everything that I teach my clients and what I taught myself. Because when I started to believe it, when I knew that I was going to have lots of failure, but my belief was so strong, then my brain, the universe, well, they got to work. When I started to believe that I was going to lose weight and then I had a failure, I didn’t give up. I didn’t quit, because I knew that failure was part of the deal. I knew that I was going to lose weight for the last time. And I just kept believing that over and over again, even through all of my failures.

See, when I started to believe that I was going to lose weight for the last time I started to research, try things, fail, succeed. And then my love, I lost it for the very last time. Belief creates our outcomes. We think it’s the right diet plan or the food, or if I have surgery, or if my spouse would, you know, do it too, but my love, it is belief. It is your belief in yourself, and that it’s already done. My love, I am going to help millions of women heal their relationship with food and live their best lives in a body they love. It is already done in my mind. That is how strong my belief is.

Number eight, what other people think is none of my business. This was really life changing for me. I am a people pleaser to the max. I wanted everyone to like me, to be happy with me, but it’s not possible. And really, I have no idea what other people think or feel, and it doesn’t have anything to do with me anyways. See, when I judge someone or think they should be different, it’s because I’m judging me and thinking I should be different.

Hear that again. If someone says something, it has nothing to do with you, good or bad. It’s a reflection of what they are thinking and believing. What other people think or do is none of my business. I just get to love them. And when I focus on that, then I get to feel love instead of suffering. Oh, I love this lesson.

Number nine, weight does not define my worth or determine beauty. The number on the scale does not define who I was or who I am. It does not define my worth, my lovability or my beauty. Weight is just made up. What we should weigh, how we should look, it’s a construct of our minds and beliefs that we’ve been taught from our culture and society programming. When I started to let go of what that number meant, and that it was neutral, it was just a number, and that I could think about it in any way. That it did not mean I was good or bad. That I was beautiful or not. That I was thin or not. That I was worthy or not. When I started to love the body I was in, all of it, then I started to see that it never determined my worth or my beauty.

I teach this to my clients all the time, because we believe that if we were thinner, if we looked a different way, if we did, right, that, you know, we would feel better, that we would be more worthy. And I just want to tell you, you are 100% worthy right now. I was always worthy. I was always lovable. I was always beautiful. And so are you. And the number on the scale does not define any of it.

And number 10, love is always the answer. Love is always the way. I am so lucky that I get to feel love, I get to show love. I am love. I get to love all the amazing humans. I get to have chills in my body. My heart explodes. My face gets warm. Feeling love, love for the humans and love for me. I often ask myself this question, what would love do? How would love show up right now? Because love is the only way, my love. In learning how to achieve your dreams and your goals, we think it’s through punishment or through, you know, all these other emotions, but ultimately it is love. It is love for yourself and love for the humans in your life. That is the way.

So five things for my next 50 years. I mean 50 more years. That’s what I’m going for my love. And five things that I want to do in the next 50 years. So number one, less hustle, more rest. So when I think of this, my love, I have been all the things. From a single mom to, you know, getting her degree, to then going for her Master’s degree, working, you know, then taking care of a family to, you know, now working two jobs, commuting from two states. I mean, I could think of all the things, my love, all the hustle, right? I used to have this belief, work harder, work harder, work harder, do more, do more.

And in the next 50 years, I want more rest. As I have done this work, I have learned that the more I rest, the more I get to think, and when I get to think, and when I get to decide what I want to think and what I want to believe, my brain opens up. It’s like the creativity centers in my brain just start firing. More rest for me, actually like I get to really practice the things that I believe, and I get to decide what I want to believe, and I get to feel love more. And so in the next 50 years, less hustle, more rest, less work.

Number two, I just want to continue this work on loving deeper. Loving all the humans and loving myself at a just deeper level. I want to just break through all the constructs in my mind. I want to feel uncomfortable showing love, right? Being vulnerable, just, I want to just love the humans and myself. I want to love all parts of the journey that I’m on, the failures, the successes. I just want to feel love in every single moment. Even when I’m on my knees.

Number three, I want to fail more. I have learned, you know, oh, I’m, I’ll raise my hand, I am a recovering perfectionist, wanting everything to be perfect, wanting people to be happy. You know, all the people pleaser in me, and really my love, not wanting to feel uncomfortable, not wanting to feel, you know, shame. And what I’ve learned is that failing is really the way. And the more that I fail, the more that I just, you know, push through the failure and learn from it and then move to the next step, everything opens up. My dreams, actually, they come quicker. My goals, I hit them quicker. And so I want to continue to fail more and learn from it and then move forward.

Number four, I want to lead the way for women and show that they can achieve all their dreams. I am building this company of a woman owned business that hires and develops diverse women. And in the next 50 years my love, that is, ah, I just cannot wait. I like, I cannot wait to watch all of these beautiful women achieve their dreams and goals, and, just do amazing things and then help other women and serve other women. Ah, It’s life changing.

And then number five, I want to help women live their best life in a body they love, and heal their relationship with food. In the next 50 years, I want to disrupt diet culture. I want to break diet culture. I want to show women that they can love themselves no matter what the number on the scale says. And that the way to lose weight and be in a body that feels like freedom is by healing their relationship with food. It’s not through restriction and punishment. It is through love and allowance.

Thank you for being a part of my first 50 years. I can’t wait to see what we do together in my next 50. I believe in love, and love, we’re going to keep moving forward. I can’t wait to meet my future self and your future self.

And if you want to go deeper on this work, do the free eight-day podcast challenge. Go to bflycoaching.com/podcast8. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

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EP #112: Habit Eating and Breaking the Habit

Ep #112: Habit Eating and Breaking the Habit

Do you find yourself always overeating at night or on the weekends? Maybe it is when you get home from work or after you pick your kids up. This is what I like to call habit eating. In this episode I am going to help you start to change the habit for good.

I wanted to do this episode because I get so many questions around eating at night or weekends or certain times of the day.

We have developed so many habits, you know the ones I mean – every day at 2 p.m. you are looking for the candy bar, or at nighttime when watching TV you are reaching for the popcorn.

I will dive deep in this episode how these habits are caused by triggers and how to recognize those triggers in order to understand them, and what to do when a trigger happens.

Join me in this episode as I teach about how to change your habits by coming into awareness of these triggers.

I will give you tips on how to break these old habits and create new ones.

Are you ready for some new habits?

If you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show. Also subscribe – you can do that by hitting the follow button, clicking on the + sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you are listening. This way, every Wednesday I am in your library.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • What a trigger is and how it has created our habits
  • How to add more joy in your life that is not around food
  • How to create new habits

Transformational Questions/Actions:

So what to do.

  1. Become aware of what your triggers are and how they have become habits.
  2. When a trigger happens – SDB.
  3. Disrupt the habit and decide what habit you want to create instead.

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 112. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Do you find yourself always overeating at night or on the weekends? Maybe it’s when you get home from work or after you pick your kids up. This is what I like to call habit eating. In today’s show, I’m going to help you start to change the habit for good. But first, I want to do a listener shout out, and today’s listeners shout out comes from Gabby Joan.

I found this podcast and Shannan in January, and absolutely love her outlook on weight loss. I have struggled with my weight for 10 years now, and I was honestly ready to just give up on trying to lose it. I love listening to her stories and advice, it has helped me so much. I’ve lost 20 pounds now just from changing my mindset and still going. I always look forward to her new content on Wednesdays as it helps me keep going and push through those tough days. Thank you Shannan for helping me and all the other ladies.

Ooh, thank you Gabby Joan. I love this review. I love all the reviews. And you know, my loves, if you just take a moment and leave a review, I would so appreciate it. You know, this really does help other women find the show. And honestly, I love hearing from you. I really do. I love knowing that you love the show and how it’s impacting you. So you can leave a review, rate it, and also subscribe. You can do that by hitting the follow button or clicking the plus sign in Apple. That way every Wednesday I’m in your library.

So do I sound a little, my voice is a little scratchy? Maybe. I tell you my loves, my life has been a little full lately for sure, but good. You know, life is 50 50 I believe. And so all good things and you know, some not so good things too, my loves. But I have to tell you, we just, this weekend, we went up to the cabin with my grandkids and, you know, Taylor and Telyn, and we really did have the best time. And I have to say, my dad was coming too, this is why I say life is always 50 50.

So my dad was, you know, coming too, we were all going up to the cabin and on his way up, his truck broke down. I know I couldn’t even believe it. He couldn’t even believe it actually. And so any who, long story short, he wanted to, the tow truck came, my brother came and got him. I went down and actually met him because he had stuff for the weekend. And, you know, he decided he wanted to go back home to take care of the truck and you know, all of that, all of that stuff. And so he didn’t get to come. And so that was, that was the 50 50 that wasn’t good. Cause we really wanted to spend this time with my dad.

And, but you know my loves, life happens. We did, the grandbabies, all the grandbabies and you know, my son and daughter-in-law and Paul and we really did have a really amazing time. You know, it was beautiful up there. You know, we had a fire. We went to this really cool place in Arizona called the Tonto Natural Bridge, and it’s just beautiful. And you know, so we went on a little bit of a hike. When you have five grandbabies, it’s a little bit of a hike.

And so we did that and just kind of hung out and played some games and, you know, ate some food and just really spent really good quality time together. And, you know, I have to say, it’s one of the things I wanted. I’m doing a whole 50 birthday celebration, you know, I don’t know a couple of weeks I guess. And you know, it’s one of the things I wanted. I really just wanted some time away with my family.

 

You know, I know my loves most of you, if not all of you, family is so important. And you know, I just, I love that time with them, and with my grandbabies spending time with them. And I actually got like special, like one-on-one time with each one of them throughout the weekend. And it was just, it was the best. So I hope and wish all of you as we’re in this season of holidays and busy-ness, and all the things that you get some time to slow down and spend with your family and friends, you know, and get some time to have some fun and some joy.

So let’s get into today’s show. I wanted to do this show today because I get so many questions around eating at night or weekends or certain times of the day. And I tell you loves, this comes up a lot, like Shannan, I do so good through the week, and then on the weekends, I eat all the things. And you know, I, I want to take you back to, you know, before I had lost my weight. I used to have this habit and this habit was really, you know, this every day at 2:00 PM, I would go and get a snack. So we had this pantry and it had all the things, you know, candy and chips and, you know, there was a refrigerator and there were yogurts and I don’t know, cheese sticks, all kinds of things.

And so I would have what I like to call a trigger, right? A trigger is just an event. And I would have this trigger where you know, something at work would be stressful because sometimes work can be, right? Or events happen or pressure, right, that you put on yourself. And so I would feel a lot of stress. And so I had this trigger of I’m at work, I feel a little bit of stress. And then I would go to “the snack cabinet.” And what happened is over time, it became a habit. And so, you know, at first it was just, you know, I would feel stressed, I would go get a snack, and then it started to become this 2:00 PM habit.

And so pretty much every day at 2:00 PM, I had created this habit of getting, you know, a Snickers bar or Sun Chips, and a mozzarella cheese stick. It didn’t matter if I was hungry or not. It didn’t matter if I had just eaten a full, big lunch and was full, if 2:00 PM came around because that’s the habit that I had created, I was gonna eat it. And you know, we do this a lot, all of us do this. We have these events or these triggers. And then over time they just become a habit.

So I want to talk about triggers, because I think triggers are like warning lights. They tell you that something is happening and, you know, that a feeling mostly is happening too. And this is really where you can start to come into awareness, so you can decide what you want to do instead of your automatic brain being in charge. So understanding your own triggers and, you know, what events or situations or times of the day, what are the areas in which you overeat or eat more than what you want and how have these triggers become habits? So coming into this awareness, understanding where you’re at right now is the very first step.

So I like to think of triggers in four different ways. And the first trigger are event triggers. And these really are times of the day or, you know, days of the week. So, I like to think of this as like weekends or nights, right? These are event triggers. So, you know, every night I’m feeling lonely or bored, and so I have a bowl of ice cream. And so every night, you know, this just becomes, the trigger is nights. I had some feelings. I’m, you know, I tell myself I deserve it. I’ve worked so hard today, you know, right. These are all thoughts. And then basically I eat the bowl of ice cream.

And then that turns into this habit of every night I’m eating a bowl of ice cream. Again, and this is the important fact. Eating a bowl of ice cream at night. You ladies know I’m like, go for it, right? Put it on your realistic plan. The problem comes when you aren’t hungry. When you’re not physically hungry, when you’re just eating to, you know, satisfy a feeling that you don’t want to feel, or, you know, an emotional need that you have, or, you know, it’s just become a habit. It’s just something you do because this is what I’ve been doing. And so you’ve created this neural path in your brain.

The second are relationship triggers. Loves, we have the humans. The humans are in our lives. We have all of these different relationships. And there are times where we have thoughts about these relationships and they create feelings. And these feelings could be frustration, stress, anger. You know, of course we have all the good ones too, but again, in this context, it’s where we’re buffering because we don’t want to feel the feelings.

So, you know, we come home from work and, you know, we’ve asked, you know, our, you know, son or daughter to, you know, have the dishes done and all the things. We get home, the house is a mess. They haven’t, their homework’s not done. You just worked all day, and you’re like, holy moly. And the next thing that, you know, you’re in the pantry, you know, eating chips. And you’re like, how did this happen? And again, the trigger was, you know, I come home from work, there’s a, you know, again, a transition home. And then you, you know, eat because you don’t want to feel the feelings.

And so relationship triggers, right? We have all of these relationships, and we have amazing positive feelings, but life is 50 50. And so are relationships. And so we have amazing, wonderful things, but we also have stress and frustration and, you know, pain and all the other emotions too. And so, so many times, especially with the negative ones, we want to push them down.

We don’t want to feel those feelings. And so relationships are another trigger to overeat. And then what happens is, you know, let’s just say every day, again, you come home, you see the certain human and, you know, you get frustrated. That then becomes a habit. Then every day when you come home, you’re like, okay, I need this kind of decompression. I need this thing. And it’s triggered by another, you know, seeing a human, having an interaction with it, another, you know, person in your family. And so really understanding, you know, what are your relationship triggers?

It could be, you know, every time I see my mother-in-law, you know, after I have that interaction, I go home and I eat all the things, right. Again, ladies, we have this, right. We have these relationships and depending on who they are, they also could be a trigger to overeat.

Now the third trigger are emotional. And I would say all of these are tied into emotional triggers. Meaning we feel a feeling that we don’t want to feel. So we feel boredom or sadness or loneliness or stress, and because we don’t want to feel those feelings, we want the dopamine hit of, you know, sugar or flour or chips or pizza or whatever it is, we want that kind of increases our dopamine. We push that feeling down and we do it with food.

And, you know, I know so many of you ladies who are listening, right? You’re like, oh, I’m an emotional eater. And I eat with, you know, good emotions and sad emotions. And again, this is just a trigger, and just starting to be aware that, okay, every time I’m bored I’m grabbing the bag of chips. Every time I’m feeling lonely, you know, I’m in the bowl of ice cream. Just understanding what are your triggers and times when you’re, you know, wanting to overeat.

Now the fourth trigger, I like to think of them as food or environment triggers. And what I mean by that is something in your environment or some food triggers you. So, for example, every time I drive past the Krispy Kreme, this was a trigger for me. Like this was like one of those things, especially when Krispy Kreme was first around. And, you know, I just like, if I passed a Krispy Kreme, I had to stop and get a donut. And so this became, again, a trigger, just seeing the sign, seeing the hot in the window. If you know Krispy Kreme, they have like a sign in the window that says hot, or they turn it off when they’re not. And so if I saw this hot, I was like, oh, I’ve got to go get the donut. And so again, it just became this kind of environmental trigger.

Or every time you, you know, pass by a fast food restaurant or, you know, maybe you go on this certain route every day, and so you, you know, have to stop at Starbucks and get, you know, your coffee and your muffin. And again, it just becomes a habit. You have a trigger, right? So your brain is like, Ooh, that tastes good. I like that dopamine hit from the Starbucks and the muffin. Right. And then, because you pass by it every day, it just becomes a habit.

Now there are also food triggers. I always talk about, you know, Texas sheet cake. And, you know, if I had a Texas sheet cake in front of me, I just could not, one, I felt like I couldn’t pass it up. And two, I would always overeat it. And so, you know, you can have certain foods that trigger you, that, you know, you feel out of control. Now, I want to say this to you because this is very important. My love, that’s just a thought. I would have a thought that I was out of control, but you are never out of control.

You always are making the decisions. You are always deciding what you want to do. Even when it feels like you’re out of control. I just want you to really practice this thought. Even if you’re overeating and you’re, you know, in a binge, I’m in control, I’m deciding right now what I’m doing, because that’s taking back your power and your control. And it’s really important in this work. And so really understanding what your food triggers and your environment triggers are, again, all of this is just coming into awareness, understanding what triggers you to overeat.

Now, remember my love, you are in control. You are in control. You always are. You’re always making the decision. I know sometimes because we live in automatic brain, that it feels like we’re out of control. But it’s just, you know, our programming, right? So I want to go back to my 2:00 PM, you know, Snickers habit. Really what it became. You know, I would feel stress, right? I would feel this stress and I would then, you know, go and get my Snickers. The Snickers, it was like, you know, I could eat it in less than a minute. I would eat it, and it didn’t make me feel better. It didn’t do anything. But it had become a habit.

My brain, I had created a neural pathway that every time I feel this stress and I also tied it to a time, right, the 2:00 PM, it was an event trigger. So every day at 2:00 PM, I would go and grab the Snickers. And just understanding what your triggers are, understanding that this is just your brain, nothing has gone wrong, that you’ve just created a neural pathway and that it’s just become a habit.

And so understanding where this is happening to you in your life. So for example, every Friday night, I overeat. Every weekend I blow the week when I’m feeling stress. You know, every time I pass a Krispy Kreme I have to stop. Or if I get into an argument, you know, I’ve got to reach out for the chocolate. Understanding your different triggers and then how they’ve become habits. See my love, these are just habits. We have tied these triggers to eating, and then we’ve created neural pathways and we’ve created a habit.

So I want to give you some, you know, Shannan, what do I do, right? How do I, like, what do I do? So I have these habits. I have weekends or nights, or the humans or emotional, right. Or these kinds of food or environment triggers. So the first thing that you want to do is become aware of what your triggers are and how they have become habits. So the first part always is just awareness. Because anytime that you can come into awareness, you go into your thinking brain. And how you do that is just ask yourself a question. When do I think I, you know, eat more than I want to, or I eat when I’m not really hungry? Do I have any of these habits? So that’s the first.

The second is you want to disrupt it. You want to disrupt the habit. And then the third, you want to decide what habit you want to create instead. So to disrupt my 2:00 PM Snickers habit, sometimes it was chips too, what I would do is I kind of knew that this had become a habit. And even if I was not hungry I was still eating. And so what I would do is around 2:00 PM, instead of going to the cabinet, I would get up and just take a three to five minute walk, or I would go and talk to a peer or, you know, someone out on our floor. It was just something so I could disrupt the thought.

See my love, we have these thoughts, and then we feel this urge to act. Anytime that we can disrupt it by asking ourselves a question or getting up and walking, right, we’re changing our shift, we’re changing our focus. So that’s what I did. I just, I knew that I was in awareness, that this was a habit, and I would just stop and I would get up, and I would just, right. I wanted to create kind of a new 2:00 PM habit. And it really was just getting up, walking around saying hello, doing, you know, going and talking to, you know, one of my people or one of my peers. It was just something to disrupt that habit.

And I say this because it’s just, the awareness is the most important part. It’s really just understanding your habits and then deciding what you want to put in place of it. You know, just that, you know, I don’t know, three to five minute walk, you know, talking to a peer, it really disrupted the thought so I could move through it. And if you’re struggling on weekends or night eating, I always ask myself, and I ask this of my clients too, what joy or fun can you add into your weekends or into your nights?

I did a whole podcast on weekends because my love, you know, we work all week or, you know, we have school or kids, you know, all of these, you know, routines. And then on the weekends, we have this thought that we believe that, you know, this is my downtime. This is when I get to relax. And we’ve tied that to food. That food is relaxation. And so deciding that, you know, okay, relaxation, this is how I’m going to relax. I’m going to have joy. I’m going to have fun instead of tying that to food. And so we’ll put the episode number in the show notes, but it’s a really great one on weekends.

And if every night you’re having a bowl of ice cream, or you have some habit at night, again, what else can you do? Maybe it’s as simple as what I like to call SDB, which is stop, disrupt, and breathe. And this is a technique that I teach all of my clients, and it’s a really important way to allow an urge. And so, what you do is you just, as soon as you come into awareness that you’re either eating more than you want, or, you know, you’re getting ready to make that bowl of ice cream, you stop, kind of take a breath, and then you disrupt. You count back from 30.

And then, I know that sounds crazy, right. But I tell you, this technique is so, it is really life-changing. You stop, you disrupt by counting back from 30; 30, 29, 28, 27, and then you just take a breath, and breathe in. And I tell you my love, just by stopping, disrupting, and breathing, your brain goes to a new thought, and then you’ll be like, okay. And then you’ll allow the urge. Or you can get up, walk around your house, dance for two minutes. It’s just about creating this new habit, allowing yourself, you know, we underestimate, you know, just coming into awareness and breathing and being aware of our breath and, you know, thinking and deciding on purpose what we want to do instead of just our old habits, our old automatic thoughts. You can create new habits.

You do this all the time. Your brain is amazing. You can create new neural pathways and you do this by just deciding on purpose one, what you want those new habits to be. And also, again, it always starts with awareness, coming into your thinking brain, and then deciding what habit you want to create.

 

So today’s transformational questions and actions are one, become aware of your triggers and how they have become habits. And number two, when a trigger happens, stop, disrupt, and breathe, or just get up, move around. I tell you there’s so, you know, again, this isn’t a 30-minute thing. This has nothing to do with exercise. It’s just this, when you use your physical body to move and get out of the environment or to, you know, breathe, there’s something that happens. It really does disrupt, you know, kind of that obsessive thought that is going on. My love, I used to have this all the time. I’m telling you, and it’s not that it doesn’t happen to me today. You know, if I’m feeling an emotion that I don’t want to feel, I, you know, my brain can be like, oh, we got to go get cookies. We gotta go get cookies. And just by one, becoming aware to stop, disrupt, and breathe. And then sometimes I just get up. I just get up, walk into another room, or, you know, call someone, talk to someone it’s just, again, disrupting that thought.

 

And then three again, disrupt the habit and decide what habit you want to create instead. One, become aware of your triggers and how they become habits. Two, when a trigger happens disrupt it. So stop, disrupt, and breathe. And then decide what habit you want to create instead.  Oh, such good work my love. If you love this work and you want to take it deeper, then take my free course.  Go to bflycoaching.com/ready.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

 

Ep #111: Mourning the Loss of Your Overweight Identity

Ep #111: Mourning the Loss of Your Overweight Identity

For most of my life, I was overweight. I developed an overweight identity. As I was losing my weight, I had to step into a new version of myself and develop a new identity. I had to start creating the mindset of a person who was not battling her weight, who loved her body, who did not obsess about food – Developing what I like to call my BFLY identity.

Join me in this episode as I will be talking about our overweight identity, and how to mourn the loss of that overweight identity in order to move on to the next version of yourself.

We have tied so many (false) beliefs around food and what we make it mean about us. Made it our identity. And all it does is sabotage our success and keeps us stuck.

I will teach you how to step into the next version of yourself and how to practice new thoughts and beliefs around this – to let go of your overweight identity once and for all and become your BFLY identity.

And make sure you mark February 9, 2022 on your calendar. Transform will be opening its doors again on that day if you are not already in. You do not want to miss it.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How we have to learn to mourn the loss of our overweight identity in order to move on
  • How to change your beliefs to become the next version of yourself – your BFLY identity
  • How to stop sabotaging your success

If you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show. Also subscribe, you can do that by hitting the follow button, clicking on the + sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you are listening. This way every Wednesday, I am in your library.

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. What is tied to your overweight identity – Is it safety, is it so you fit in, is it so you can stay small (not shine too bright), is it around false beliefs that you can eat whatever, that you have freedom.
  2. What do you get out of being overweight – what are you avoiding by being overweight?
  3. When you think of yourself at your goal weight – what scares you about it?
  4. What do you want your new BFLY identity to be? What does she do and what do you need to believe to step into this version of yourself?

If you love this work and you want to take it deeper, then take my free course. Go to bflycoaching.com/ready.

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course here
  • Mark February 9, 2022 on your calendar – Transform will be open again!

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 111. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Ooh, I love today’s show. For most of my life I was overweight. For 38 years I was on the diet rollercoaster. I developed an overweight identity. And as I was losing my weight, I had to step into this new version of myself and develop a new identity. I had to start creating the mindset of a person who was not battling her weight, who loved her body, who did not obsess about food – Developing what I like to call my BFLY identity helped me when old sabotaging behaviors would show up. If you want to lose weight and lose it for good, you don’t want to miss this episode.

 

But first, I want to do a listener shout out. And this is to Kelly J0510. I’m so glad that I found Shannan and Transform. I have learned so much from this podcast. Shannan’s methods work and make losing weight something I know I can do for good while loving myself through the journey. Her compassion and heart for helping women is awesome and led me to join Transform, where I’m going even deeper. Shannan has changed my life. Oh, Kelly. That is so sweet Kelly, so much love for you. And honestly, Kelly, you’re changing your life. You know, I tell you ladies, learning this work and deciding that you want to change old thoughts and old beliefs and things that are keeping you stuck, Oh, it is just everything. I’m so proud of you Kelly, for all the work that you’re doing.

 

And oh, I just have so much love for you. If you find this podcast valuable, what you’re learning here, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show. Also subscribe. You can do that by hitting the follow button or clicking on the plus sign in Apple, and then every Wednesday I’m in your library.

 

So I have been doing a lot of research lately. I love to read papers, books, literature, I’m always wanting to learn so I can help my Transform Bosses. I am in the process currently of updating the weight-loss course inside our membership, and I have to tell you love, it is so good. We unveil it to all of our bosses at the beginning of January and I cannot wait. I’m writing it now. And I get so excited because ultimately I just want them to reach all of their goals and all of their dreams in the most simple and easy way.

 

Now, for those of you who are not #transformbosses yet we’ll open Transform again in February. So in the meantime, you can always take my free course and continue to listen to the podcasts so you can prepare for the opening in February. We open on February 9th. So mark that down on your calendar. So good. I can’t wait. I love welcoming in new ladies. I mean, I love this time right now. I love spending all of this time with all of my Transform Bosses. We are doing some amazing work inside the membership and you know, February 9th, mark it on your calendar if you’re not in.

 

So today’s show, I want to talk about our overweight identity. You know, I was helping one of my members with a plateau and I was coaching her on how she was starting to sabotage her weight loss, and she was feeling some emotion about stepping into this next version of herself and also eating less food. She has lost some weight and her body doesn’t need as much fuel as it did before. And it got me thinking about our overweight identities and how we have to almost mourn the loss of them because we’ve had this identity for however long.

 

I had mine for almost 38 years and I needed to allow myself to one, understand what my overweight identity was, and feel the sadness, the emotion about changing that part of ourselves. You know, I really do think of it as mourning the loss of our overweight identity. When I was losing my weight, I noticed I had a lot of beliefs and thoughts that were helping me to stay overweight. Things like if I’m overweight, I won’t be attractive. I’ll be safe. I can eat anything I want. You know, people will like me more. I’ll be more relatable. You know, I won’t, people won’t, you know, don’t be too bright. Don’t be too shiny. Don’t be too beautiful.

 

I had all of these thoughts roaming around, just sentences in my brain. Part of my overweight identity with food was this idea that I loved “bad food” and I could eat anything. I did not want to be one of those salad girls. I didn’t want to always have to be in the gym or eat only salad. I thought to be at my natural weight this is what I had to do. I tied all of these thoughts and beliefs to who I was. I had created an identity around it. The pretty face who was smart and really nice.

 

See, we have these identities. We’ve created them around our roles in our families, how we fit in, in society, even with our friends. Who we’ve been told who we are. Also trauma that we’ve endured as a protection mechanism. Then we buffer with food and we end up placing this wall of weight around ourselves.

 

And for many of us it’s protection. This is why you can lose weight on a diet, but then you sabotage your success and gain it back. You hit some ceiling or piece of your identity that you want to hold on to and you slowly start gaining it back. Maybe you’ve lost some weight. And one of your friends or a member of your family says something like, oh, you’re getting too skinny. Ooh. Why, why aren’t you eating? Why are, you know, why are you, what are you only eating salads now? Right? And these little comments they go and they, right, your old identity, your overweight identity is like, whoa, whoa, whoa. We’ve got to sabotage our success. Right? We start.

 

And I tell you my love. It just, it’s almost like, I don’t know you going against your own back. I did this so many times, right? A comment or, you know, I would get below 200 pounds and I would start to sabotage my success. And honestly, to lose weight for the last time, I had to create my “BFLY” identity.

 

This version of me who loves food that fuels her, who loves her body, who knows that she’s safe. That freedom is in taking care of myself and my mind, and who’s not afraid of other people’s opinions or thoughts or comments or that she’s shining too brightly. That I am strong. And I love to move my body. I had to change the beliefs about who I was.

 

I was not the overweight “weight was always going to be my struggle” girl. I was this amazing woman who loved her body and loved taking care of it. To start the work of stepping into your new identity, your BFLY identity, and letting go of your overweight identity, you one, have to acknowledge your overweight identity. And what parts do you have to let go of to become the next version of yourself?

 

Good questions to start asking yourself is what do you get out of being overweight? What are the good parts? Love, I know when I say that you’re like Shannan, there is no good parts. I just want to lose the weight. No, my love, we carry weight for a reason. We’ve carried extra weight on our bodies and there are lots of reasons why we’ve done it.

 

It’s not because we’re broken. It’s not because something’s wrong with us. It’s just old thoughts and beliefs and things that we were taught when we were younger. So ask yourself, what do you get out of it? And what are the parts that you think are good? Why have you carried extra weight on your body? How has it become a part of your identity?

 

And then ask yourself this, what scares you about being at your goal weight? What comes up for you? This is so powerful because you will start to see even conflicting thoughts. I would have thoughts like, well, if I lose weight and I suddenly become, you know, thin and attractive, then I wouldn’t be safe. And then I would have thoughts, Oh, but if I lose the weight, I’m going to have loose skin and look old. I mean, they didn’t even make sense, but this is how our brains work. So really understanding what scares you about being at your goal, or what I like to call your natural weight. Then too, you have to create a new identity and start to practice new thoughts and beliefs around this.

 

Now, if you’re a Transform Boss, we’re really going to dive into this in January as we do some deep identity work. But if you’re not a boss yet here are some transformational questions and actions for you to begin this work.

One, what is tied to your overweight identity? Is it safety? Is it so you fit in? Is it so you can stay small, not shine so bright? Is it around false beliefs that you can eat whatever, that you have freedom. Number two, what do you get out of being overweight? What are you avoiding by being overweight? Number three, when you think of yourself at your goal weight, what scares you about it? And number four, what do you want your new BFLY identity to be? What does she do? And what do you need to believe to step into this version of yourself?

 

So good. If you love this work and you want to take it deeper then take my free course. Go to bflycoaching.com/ready. So good my love. Bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

 

EP #110: Making Weight Loss Easy

Ep #110: Making Weight Loss Easy

I think for so many of us women we have always thought weight loss was hard. But, what if you thought it was easy?

Join me in this episode as I talk about both sides and how your thinking is what really keeps you stuck.

The diet culture has just led us to believe that weight loss is hard – creating diet trauma.

The process I teach is easy – make a plan, feel your hunger/fullness, feel some feelings, decide what you want to believe and think, get your water and sleep in.

It is our thinking that is hard.

I will give you tips on how to make weight loss easy.

To lose weight you have to think differently – it starts with one thought – I am learning to lose weight by believing something different today.

You have this one life. What are you going to do with it today?

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How the diet culture has made weight loss hard for us
  • What truly is hard about weight loss
  • Tips to make weight loss easy

     

    Transformational questions/actions:

    1. Listen to the Fundamental podcasts, episodes posted in show notes
    2. What is easy about losing weight?
    3. What do you want to love that is hard about losing weight?

     

    Featured on the Show:

    • Take my free mini course here
    • Listen to my Fundamentals podcast episodes: Episode #6 – Power of Planning, Episode #9 – Become the Scientist of Your Body, Episode #11 – 2 Simple Tools for Weight Loss, Episode #19 – Stop Journaling, Start Reflecting
      Listen to my Fundamentals 2.0 podcast episodes: Episode #105 – How to Believe New Things, Episode #106 – How to Break Up with Dieting, Episode 107 – What to Eat and How to Reconnect With Your Body, Episode 108 – What We Underestimate in Weight Loss

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 110. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love, so happy to be back with you. Today’s show is a great topic. It’s one that I love and talk about a lot with my Transform bosses. See weight loss is easy, but it is hard. And today I want to talk about both sides and how you’re thinking is what really keeps you stuck.

 

But first I want to do a listener shout out, and today’s listeners shout out is from Nancy Nut. Love these ladies. I can relate to each one of them. The advice they have given is so true. Transform has changed my life. Ladies, if you’re looking to get off the diet roller coaster, join Transform Weight Loss Program. Shannan and the sisterhood is bar none to any other program I have ever been on. Thank you, Nancy Nut.

 

I tell you, I know I love Transform Boss Weight Loss. It really is, it’s such a blessing. I don’t know the right words. There’s no words for me about how much I love the women in Transform Boss Weight Loss. How I love watching them grow and challenge themselves. And it is just a gift, I think to everyone who’s in it too just, you know, watching other women, being a part of this amazing community, and learning how to really just live your absolute best life in a body that you love. So, I’m with you, Nancy.

 

So ladies, we are, as I’m recording this, coming off Halloween. I hope all of you ladies had a fantastic Halloween. I for sure did. It was really a great time. My grandbabies came over and you know, it was my grandson’s, well his birthday’s on November 3rd, actually when this episode is being released, but we celebrated it on Halloween, and he’s turning 11. I can’t believe it. I cannot believe it. Devin, he is the sweetest boy, and he is just sunshine in a body. He has been that way since the day he has blessed us since he’s been on this earth.

 

And I love that boy. And he’s turning 11. I mean, I do want him to stop growing. I’m not so sure I’m okay. I mean all those babies, but ah, they’re just all growing up, and you know, we went trick-or-treating and I have to say there was a lot of folks out and it was just so fun to see all the kids in all their costumes and you know, all my babies were so cute and sweet and fun, and it was just a really, really good time. So, I hope you all had an amazing Halloween and I hope you saw my email and it said eat the Halloween candy. If you missed it, you’ll want to read it because it really is part of this process.

 

And you know, it’s all about allowance. I tell you, when I was on the diet roller coaster, I had this thought that losing weight was hard. And you know, I had all of these different thoughts about how it was my struggle. It was hard. I was never going to be able to do it. And really, as I’ve done this work, as I’ve watched, you know, my clients do this work, it is, what’s really the hardest part, really honestly, are my thoughts and the feelings that my thoughts produce. And you know, because hard and easy, if you just think about it, there’s no like easy scale. I know there’s an easy button I heard, I think in a Staples commercial, but there really is no like, you know, easy or hard scale. There really isn’t. My version of hard could be someone else’s version of easy and vice versa. So this is what I’m saying, my love. It’s just all an illusion. It really is. It’s just our own thoughts. We think things and it makes us feel a certain way.

 

And then when we feel that certain way we take action. We do something or we don’t do something. And so this whole concept about, you know, losing weight is hard, and you know, it’s so difficult. One of the reasons is because for sure, our thoughts, it’s the main reason. But there is a second piece to it. And it really is the diet trauma that we have as women suffered.

 

You know, because we’ve been in this culture of being on diets, of not loving our bodies, of thinking we “should” be skinnier. We “should” be healthier. I mean, there are so many. We should exercise more. There’s so many shoulds because we’ve had all of this trauma. It feels really hard because most of the main messages that we have been getting since, you know, I don’t know, since I was like eight years old, it does vary depending on your culture and your upbringing, but for most women, it happens at a young age when we’re told that we need to be a certain weight, whatever that is for your culture and what, you know, you’ve been socialized to believe.

 

And then if we’re not this weight, then something is wrong. And the way to get to that weight is through restriction. And so we do these restrictive diets and then when we can’t do it any longer, we overeat and binge. And so that is the hard part of losing weight. It is this restrictive white knuckling it, and I’m “eating clean,” or I’m just bingeing. And I’m just eating all the things.

 

And I feel out of control. And you know, it’s so interesting. This kind of like either side of the coin, right? The restrictive or the bingeing, both feel a little out of control, because it’s not coming from within you. You’re not paying attention to if you like the food. You’re not paying attention to how it feels in your body.

 

Someone’s giving you a plan. You look at the plan and you’re like, okay, I’m going to eat this or I’m not, right? You look at the plan and you’re like, okay, I can, I can do this for, you know, until I lose this weight. And then I’ll go back to eating normal. I mean, I said that to myself so many times.

 

And there’s just this kind of, I don’t know, middle part. There is a way, I remember always wanting it, and now that I have it, I really do understand. And it starts honestly with the way that we think. All of it does. So we’ve had this diet trauma, and then we have these thoughts that losing weight is really hard.

 

But I just want to flip that for a second. And I’ve talked about this before. Hard is, again, just what you think it is. And what I mean by that is, again, my hard and your hard could be two different things. Hard is when you carry extra weight on your body, and you’re carrying an extra 10, 20, 50, 100, 200 pounds. That is hard. That is hard on your body.

 

It’s hard on the way that you feel. Not fitting into clothes, not being able to walk a flight of stairs, not being able to eat the food that you enjoy without guilt and shame, feeling that your body is unacceptable. My love, that is hard. Not being able to look at yourself in a mirror because ah, it just upsets you. Not being able to wear the things that you want to wear, or go for that big job, or go for your dreams because you’ll wait until you weigh a certain way.

 

My love, that is hard. Losing weight, learning how to start to change and, you know, change your thoughts and believe new things, or the hard that I just described. And I tell you my love, I’ll change my thoughts all day long. And it just starts with this simple process that I teach.

 

I teach the fundamentals, and there are four fundamentals. We’re going to link them in the show notes so you can, if you’ve not listened to them, you can, because really it starts with just starting to notice what’s happening in that beautiful brain, having a few brain hacks, like the realistic plan, and then doing some foundational things for your body, like water and sleep. You know, the process that I teach is actually easy.

 

Make a plan, feel your hunger/fullness, feel some feelings once in a while. Yeah, all of them. And then decide what you want to believe and think. Get your water and sleep in. But I tell you, my love, what is hard is our thinking. It’s our thoughts about it. Again, I go back to, we have these thoughts like I can’t lose weight, I wish I were motivated, I hope I can lose weight, I hope I can make my realistic plan. I hope that, you know, you lose a little bit of weight and then you’re like, Ooh, I hope I can continue this. When we think these thoughts, we feel frustrated, panicked, even overwhelmed. And then we do nothing.

 

Or we sabotage our success and we repeat this cycle over and over again. These thoughts become beliefs. A belief is just a thought on repeat, or it is a grouping of thoughts that really are on repeat. And we just think it over and over again. I can’t tell you how long and how many times I would think that weight loss was always going to be my struggle and that I could never lose it and I could never maintain it.

 

And I had to start to just think differently. If you want to make weight loss easy, this is it my love. You have to start to believe something different. You have to start to practice new beliefs and new thoughts. And it starts just with one thought, one thought like I’m learning to lose weight by believing something different today. I just want to say that thought again, because it’s so powerful. I’m learning to lose weight by believing something different today. And I tell you ladies, this whole easy/hard, again, it’s just an illusion. There is no easy or hard button or scale. It’s just based on our interpretation of it. You get to decide if something is easy or hard.

 

And whether you love the easy or love the hard, because I just want to remind you that you do hard things. You can look back at your life and look at all of the hard things that you’ve done. You’ve done so many hard things, my love, you’ve gotten off your knees so many times where you have just had trauma, pain, loss, grief, hardship, and you keep getting up because you do hard things. So you get to decide if you want to love the easy or love the hard. And you can love both because you do hard things. Stop telling yourself it’s hard so you keep sabotaging your success. My love you have this one life. What are you going to do with it today?

 

This is how you make weight loss easy. One, start talking to yourself more than you listen. Anytime one of those old thoughts, old beliefs come in – I can’t lose weight, it’s hard, it’s difficult, Oh the food is calling my name – whenever those thoughts come in, just replace it with a new belief, a new thought that you’re practicing. I love the thought I’m learning to lose weight by believing something different. I tell you, just practicing that thought over and over again, it’s so powerful.

 

Number two, follow my fundamentals. We’re going to link all the fundamentals in the show notes. And we have the, you know, 1.0 version of the fundamentals. And then we also have the 2.0 so you can have eight episodes that are just full of, you know, simple information that you can start to lose weight right now through the holidays my love.

 

And then number three, love the hard. Start with just one thought and decide that you love the easy, you love the hard, it’s all together. And really at the end of the day, you’re just learning how to take one simple step forward so that you can lose weight for the very last time.

 

So the transformational questions and actions are number one, listen to the fundamental podcast. Episodes are gonna be posted in the show notes, and you can find the show notes on bflycoaching.com/110. And number two, ask yourself what is easy about losing weight? What is simple? What is like, I mean, it’s just piece of cake, right? I make my realistic plan. No problem. I drink water, no problem. And start to just list what is easy and continue as you’re losing weight. And this is for all my Transform bosses too. As things start to continue to get easier and easier, make sure you’re writing them down. Make sure that you’re looking at those successes. And then number three, what do you want to love that is hard about losing weight? Oh, loving the hard, learning to accept that this is just part of it, but you’re not scared of it. You’re not scared of it my love, because you are a Boss. You have done hard things. You have, my love, I know your story.

 

I tell you, I listen to stories over and over again from these beautiful women who are in Transform, and we all have this journey and these stories in our lives, and what we’ve been through, good and bad, and this losing weight and, you know, loving our bodies and, and really going after our dreams, my love, it’s all possible. It’s just starting with one thought. It’s believing something different today.

 

And if you love this work and you want to take it deeper then take my free course. Go to bflycoaching.com/ready. So good. Bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

Transform Boss Weight Loss

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