Ep #118: How Dieting has Affected the Way You Eat

Ep #118: How Dieting Has Affected the Way You Eat

In my Transform Boss community, one of our ladies had an epiphany and it is the inspiration for this episode because I too had this when I was losing my weight. I was on so many diets and I had this mentality of all in or all out – that I was good when I was eating “healthy,” and I was being bad when I was eating anything “unhealthy.” I was either all in or all out. Can you relate to this?

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into how to break your diet brain and how to start just becoming aware of what you think about food.

I will give you my first tool I teach all my ladies to learn how to break the diet cycle for good. You will learn about fuel foods and non-fuel foods.

Becoming aware of all of our thoughts around the food we eat is key to losing weight.

Losing weight is an inside job and it starts with how you think and what you believe, not only about yourself but also what you think and believe about food.

If you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show.  Also subscribe; you can do that by hitting the follow button, clicking on the + sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you are listening. This way every Wednesday I am in your library.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • There are no “healthy” or “unhealthy” foods
  • How to heal your relationship with food
  • How losing weight is an inside job – awareness

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. What are your beliefs around food?
  2. How have your diet beliefs affected how you eat today?
  3. Make your Realistic Plan – Listen to episodes 6 & 106 to learn more.

And if you want to take this work deeper then take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready.

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free course – bflycoaching.com/ready
  • Listen to podcast episodes 6 & 106 to learn more about the Realistic Plan

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 118. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Today, I’m going to teach you how dieting has affected how you fuel your body and how old diet rules that you’ve gathered throughout the years of dieting, how it also affects what you eat and what you don’t. You won’t want to miss it.

 

But first I want to do a listener shout out to Andrea Abeln, and her review that she did on iTunes is I joined transform in March, 2020 after watching Shannan’s public Facebook lives, listening to her weekly podcast and taking her free course. I can honestly say that joining was the best thing I ever did for myself. Shannan definitely over delivers. Not only did I lose 28 pounds, but I gained self-confidence and learned to really love myself for the first time ever. I have made lifelong friendships and have improved family relations. I’ve also learned how to show up for myself and keep commitments to myself. Thank you Shannan, Dawn and Jenn for believing in me. The support I get from you and all the ladies in Transform is more than I ever expected.

 

Ah, Andrea, I love Andrea. She is one of our mentors and she is just a beautiful soul, and I’m so proud of her. She has done such incredible work and she not only shows up for herself and is doing this amazing work, she helps all of the ladies in Transform. So she is a boss that is for sure. And if you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show. Also subscribe so that every Wednesday I’m in your library.

 

When this episode is released it will almost be 2022. I can’t believe it. I really can’t. This year has flown by. I have been preparing for Christmas. So this is about a week before Christmas and it hit me last Saturday that I only had two weeks until Christmas. And I was like, holy moly, Shannan, you have got to get moving, because this year just has flown by. I mean, time just keeps feeling like it is going faster and faster, and you know, 2022 it’s flying in.

 

Oh my love. I have to tell you, because today I am still feeling all the feels from last night. Last night, we had our mentor and ambassador kind of a holiday party. And then also I did a drawing, you know, I love a good drawing. And so once a year we have an in-person/virtual event and we’re having it in April. We call it Unstoppable Live. And it is for ladies who are in Transform Boss Weight Loss program. And so last night we had a drawing. And also I have a very special mentor, her name is Sharon Spohn, and she’s been with Transform since the very beginning of Transform, when it was, you know, called Jumpstart.

 

And she is just an amazing human. She is a volunteer mentor for all the ladies. She is just, I don’t know, she’s just an amazing human. And I wanted to give her the gift of paying for her to come to Unstoppable Live, her plane and, you know, airfare and hotel and all that fun stuff. Because you know, she just has helped so many women. She is an inspiration to all. And I have to tell you, I announced it last night in front of all the ladies, and my loves, she was crying. I felt all the emotion. I think all, I think she had all the ladies crying and because we just love her. We love her to pieces.

 

And we also, I drew for two other winners and it was just so fun. I’m not gonna lie. It was so fun. And I can’t wait for the event for all the women who are going to travel to Chandler, Arizona and who are going to come to the event. And then also all of our virtual participants who really are going to spend two days, two days just transforming their lives and showing up for themselves and doing like this amazing hard work. And so I get so excited.

 

I love Unstoppable Live. You know, we only do it once a year because it really is a big production and it is this two-day immersive experience. So we’re opening on February 9th, so still lots of time for all of you ladies who are not a Transform Boss yet to get in, but I can’t wait. I cannot wait. I have been thinking about that event, planning for that event, and I can’t wait to see my ladies in person and virtually.

 

Okay, my love, let’s get into today’s show. So, in my Transform Boss Weight Loss community, one of our ladies had an epiphany. And it’s the inspiration for this episode. Because I too had this when I was losing my weight. I was on so many diets and I had this mentality of either being all in or all out, that I was good when I was eating “healthy,” and I was bad when I was eating anything “unhealthy.” I had done this for so long that I had created a lot of beliefs around “healthy food.”

 

And I had made a connection that eating healthy was restriction. I want you to really think about that. Because of diet culture, I had to be all in and eating in a way that was restrictive or I was mostly eating all the other things, right? I was out, I was eating, you know, all the things and you know, I needed to eat all of the things before I started another diet.

 

So I learned over time that healthy food was restriction. It’s not that I never ate things that fueled my body, but I had developed all of these food rules and tons of beliefs about it. It’s important to understand and become aware of what you think about food and when you eat it, how you think and feel about it. You can even do this as you watch others eat, and what comes up for you. I used to see some of my “skinny” friends and think all they eat is salmon and veggies. And I had these thoughts that they must exercise all the time. And I would tell myself that I could never live like that and that I didn’t only want to eat veggies, but it really was just nonsense that I was telling myself.

 

I had no idea really what those ladies ate. I just had this idea that had developed over years of restriction and bingeing that to lose weight and live in a smaller body that I had to eat, “Healthy.” So it led to 38 years of the diet roller coaster, to being all in or all out. If I was eating pizza and all the things,

then I could not eat a salad. Now you might be thinking, I don’t do this, but I want you to think of all of your diet rules, what you believe about fuel and non-fuel food, and how you actually eat it. If you plan for chicken and veggies and protein, but you ended up eating pizza, do you just say, well, I ate something bad, so forget it, I might as well eat all the things. Or if you eat the pizza, can you put some veggies on it or eat a salad too? And then continue on, not making eating the pizza mean that you were good or bad. No binge eating necessary.

 

When ladies join Transform Boss Weight Loss, the first tool is the realistic plan, because I want my ladies to start eating all of it. Fuel and non-fuel, so they can begin to heal their relationship with food. And the first step is just awareness around how you feel about healthy or what I like to call fuel food. Food that nourishes and feels good in your body. Also, how you think about non-fuel food. Food that may not feel necessarily great in your body, but you enjoy eating them.

 

What are all the foods that you label as bad? And if you eat them, are you believing or thinking that you’re being bad? Watch what you think and believe as you’re eating or planning to eat something. And I want to talk about this thought because I think this thought as you start to become aware of what you’re thinking can come up a lot. This thought that you can’t control yourself around certain foods, that you must eat all of it if it’s there, and that you can’t stop yourself. See, when you’re on the diet roller coaster and dieting, you believe that you can’t control yourself because you’re restricting and not allowing yourself to eat all of it.

 

Diets don’t challenge your beliefs or mindset. They don’t teach you how to start to believe new things. No matter what the new language the diet industry is trying to lure you in with, they basically give you a food and exercise plan with some new marketing language. Losing weight is an inside job. And it starts with how you think and what you believe, not only about yourself, but also what you think and believe about food. Awareness is important because until you can identify all of your food rules and beliefs, you will not be able to change them.

 

The epiphany that one of my bosses had is that she likes salads and she liked them with salad dressing, and that it was okay. She had tied salads to restriction to little or no salad dressing. And she decided to eat her salad with the dressing that she loved and that it was fuel for her, and she loved it. Myself, I love salads with all the things, including dressing. I love the greens and the cucumbers and the tomatoes and the olives and the cheese and the beans, protein. I love an amazing spinach salad or Greek salad. I love the way it nourishes me and how delicious they are. I don’t eat diet food. I eat food. All of it.

 

As I was losing my weight, I had to start to believe new things about food. That food was not good or bad, that it was just food. And some of it felt better in my body. I love fuel food. I love veggies and proteins. And I also love non-fuel food, right? Some food that doesn’t feel the, you know, the greatest in my body. And I eat all of it. I like how my body feels when I nourish it, and when I take care of it. I also like to eat a cookie and enjoy that too.

 

So the transformational questions and actions today are one, what are your beliefs around food, around food being either good or bad? And number two, how have your diet beliefs affected how you eat today? Number three, make your realistic plan. And if you’re new to me, listen to episodes number 6 and 106 to learn more.

 

And if you want to take this work deeper than for sure take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready, R E A D Y. Bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

 

Subscribe:

Ep #117: Interview with Paul: How His Love has Helped Me

Ep #117: Interview with Paul: How His Love Has Helped Me

We have a very special episode for our podcast. This is being released the week of Christmas, and I wanted to do something special. So, I wanted to have my love on the show with me. Paul and I have been married for 13 years, and I just wanted to share a sneak peak into our lives on the podcast.  Today, we also have a special guest host – Jenn Taylor. She is one our Transform weight loss coaches. She will be asking us all of the questions.

Join us in this very special episode and learn how we met, what inspires us both in the other person, and how we make time for each just for each other.

You will learn about some of the dreams we both have – for ourselves, our family, and our company. Just living extraordinary lives.

Thank you for listening to this sneak peek into our lives and about us.

And if you want to take this work deeper then take my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • Just a little bit about us – how we met, what we love most about each other
  • How dropping the manual for each other completely changed our relationship
  • How changing your beliefs and working on yourself can make your dreams come true

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 117. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Today, we have a very special episode. This is going to be released the week of Christmas, and I wanted to do something special. I love the holiday season and it’s all full of love. And so why not have my love, my amazing husband on the show. Paul and I have been married for 13 years and together for almost 15. I am so blessed to have him as a partner in my life.

 

And you know, every time we have a Transform Boss Weight Loss event, so a virtual event or Unstoppable Live, Paul comes on and we kind of do this, you know, where one of the coaches interview us. And it’s one of the boss’s favorite things. They love to hear from Paul. And I think they just love a little sneak peek into our lives. And so we wanted to share a little bit of this on the podcast.

 

Now today, we also have a special guest host, Jenn Taylor. And she is a Transform Boss Weight Loss coach. She’s going to interview us. And just so you know, we have no idea what the questions are. We always like them to just be for us not to know, so it’s just really authentic and it just makes it super fun. So before we begin, Jenn, can you introduce yourself to all of the ladies? This isn’t your first time on the podcast? No, this is my second. My name is Jenn Taylor, and I am one of the weight loss coaches with Transform. I just love it so much. I’m amazed that I get to call that my job.

 

I live in Utah and I am married with two boys who are 10 and 7. And so my life is full of sports and everything for them, you know, and then just going and loving the outdoors, the mountains here and everything we have to offer. So that’s a little bit about me.

 

Okay, so you said that you guys have been together now for 15 years. I would love to know how the two of you met. Baby, you want to take that one? Yeah. We met on Match.com. That was 2007. We went out on a date and just hit it off right away. You know, during that time I had been going on probably a lot of dates, I would say. I didn’t feel that connection really with any of the other ones. With Shannan, I just felt it right away on the first date. And didn’t see any red flags, which is, which is unusual. I mean, you’ve learned my cray since, but yeah, I was really good at hiding it. Yeah. I didn’t see any though for a while.

 

So she hid them a long time. I’m just kidding. She, she doesn’t have nearly as many as issues as a normal person. I think. I mean, I, I really believe that still, you know, after 13 years of marriage. So yeah. So for me that was a big deal, not seeing red flags, because if they come out on a first date, it’s like, you know, the well runs deep. Well, you know, we’re all human for sure. And we have human experiences, but I’m glad I, too, as soon as I went on the date with Paul, I was pleasantly surprised for sure. I just thought he was super sexy and so cute. His picture on Match.com, it was, it didn’t look like him. I really, honestly, to this day, I don’t, I just don’t think it looked like him. And so when I saw him, I was like, wow.

 

And we just really hit it off. And for me, every time I went on a date with him, it just kept getting better. And the more that I got to know him, the more I was like, oh yeah, like I like, like I like him. And then I loved him. And I didn’t have that, you know, to Paul’s point about, you know, red flags and dating, you know, you meet all sorts of different folks. And I would say a lot of the guys that I went on a date with, you know, even if I went on a second date, it would get worse, like every time. But with Paul, it just always was getting better and better every single time.

 

And I remember this one time he had called me to come over and it was unexpected. You know, we weren’t going to see each other that night. And then he called and said, Hey, I’m free. You know, come. And I remember still to this day, I remember driving down Elliott and going to his house and feeling like this excitement of just like, I’m so excited that I get to like, spend time with him. Like I just, you know, I just loved it, but yes, we are a Match.com success story.

 

So, and this was back in the day, I mean, 2007. Think about it. I barely had a computer. I didn’t have a smartphone either. Like I had to wait until I got home, like check the little things because you know, that predated my smartphone deal. So I love it.

 

Paul, what inspires you about Shannan. What about Shannan inspires you? Shannan’s really worked on herself, especially in the last five years or so. And I noticed a huge difference actually. And I, you know, she’s, like I said, she’s always been great, but in the last five years or so, she’s really brought it to a whole new level. Just kind of the way she accepts me is pretty, pretty amazing actually. You know, it’s, it’s hard not to notice if somebody is just very accepting towards you and even kind of let go of some of any old quirks. So just her accepting me and being tolerant of me, I think that’s really inspired me to try to do the same thing, to try to be tolerant and patient in a lot of ways, especially in our relationship.

 

Mm, I wish you guys could feel the love oozing out of this screen right now. Shannan, what about Paul inspires you? Oh, there, there are a lot of things. One, I’ve always thought this. I always have thought that Paul is really kind, and he is, you know, kind to the humans, kind to the animals, kind to people. I think he has a service heart. I think he wants to help people and he wants to serve people. I don’t know, just from day one. I just always, I remember, I have to tell this quirky little story, but in Arizona during the summertime, we, you know, have crickets, a lot of them, you know, and I remember when we were dating, him like not killing the cricket. Like picking the cricket up and taking it outside. And I was like, let’s kill the cricket. He just, but again, he’s just like, oh, I’m just going to take it outside.

 

And so I think that is just, I don’t know. It’s just one of the things I, I just think he is just kind, and he has this really loving way about him. It does inspire me, I think, to be better. I think too, with Paul, what inspires me is Paul is really confident in himself and in his body, and me being a woman who’s had food issues and body image issues and all the things, Paul, I would say, you could pretty much care less about food. You know, it’s just like it’s there to nourish him. And I, I’ve just always admired that so much. That and his confidence in his body too. Right. It’s just, he’s super sexy, and he’s just confident in it. And I just, you know, I love it.

 

Paul, you touched on this a little bit, but Shannan, you teach us in Transform and through the work to really get off the diet roller coaster and just begin loving our bodies and ourselves for who we are fully. So Paul, this question is for you, when did you notice or realize that Shannan started seeing and loving herself the way that you always looked at her and loved her for who she was? I noticed it pretty quickly. To be honest, I think some of it had to do with me accepting her body because I’ve always liked Shannan’s body. This is a G rated show, right?

 

I remember her being surprised that I liked certain parts of her body, like the small of her back, and things like that. Like there’s a little curve there. And I remember her being surprised about that, and just, I think that has probably helped her a lot. And I wasn’t doing it intentionally. I was just, I liked it, you know, certain things. I think that I noticed it pretty much right away actually, but I think that even over time, it’s gotten better for her. For sure. Yeah. For sure. I think that she’s worked on that and come to really appreciate her body also. As much as you do.

 

And I just want to say one thing, because I do think Paul loved my body, I would say a hundred percent way before I did, but it did, for sure it did help me, right, to have someone who, you know, he, you know, I don’t know. I remember one time he said he, not only the small of my back, I’ll never forget when you’re like, oh, I really, you know, he liked my stomach. I was like, I’ve been trying to hide it, you know? And he’s like, no, I’m, I’m down with all of it. And there is nothing better than just coming into this true acceptance and love of your own body and just really coming back home to it where you’re not at war with it. You’re not trying to hide it. You’re not trying to run away from it or buffer it or disconnect from it. Ah, that work has been, I would say of all the work I’ve done, it’s been the most important work for my journey.

 

Both of you have pretty full schedules, right. So I would love for you both to share how you make time or fit time in for each other spending time together. And then, you know, your individual time. Yeah. I mean Tuesday night is our night because I work nights during the week. I don’t get home until Shannan’s usually sleeping. Sometimes she can’t sleep cause I’m not there, or she will fall asleep early and then wake up when I get home. But lately she’s been sleeping, which is fine. You know, when I get home, I don’t get back until 10 or so, but we try to make a little time beforehand. Also, Shannan will usually schedule a lot of things that she does at night, during the week on times that I’m gone. So that works out pretty well. So we’ll have a little bit of time between when I leave so that we can hang out a little bit and, you know, just trying to make a little bit of time here and there can make a big difference, just a little bit of time.

 

So, and then Tuesday night we make a point of it to just spend the night just us, you know, and then the weekends, of course, but yeah. Yeah, I think it’s important. I think Paul, I love being with Paul. I love spending time with him. And I think with his schedule, one of the things, the very first thing that I changed is I used to have coaching calls on Tuesday night. And as soon as he got his new schedule, I was like, oh, okay, I moved the coaching call and I moved everything off because I knew, okay, that’s the one night during the week that we’re gonna, you know, spend together. And I do adjust my schedule even at, you know, my day job where I go in a lot earlier so that I can have an hour before he goes to work.

 

And I try not to schedule even coaching calls that early, just so we can have a little bit of time before he goes into work. And then weekends, you know, we’re just really aware of, you know, if we do have family stuff and all of that stuff that we still have those hours of just us, because that connection between us is so important. I love spending time with him and we have our favorite things that we like to do. And so I find if I’m away from him too long, I just, I can’t wait to, as I say, get in bed and put my head on his chest and just chill and watch TV. It’s like one of my favorite things. I love it.

 

All right. You’ve talked Shannan before about having manuals for our spouses, our significant others. And how has your guys’s relationship changed since you were able to drop that manual for each other? Yeah. I think Paul talked a little bit about this earlier about, you know, me just really accepting him and loving him and, you know, I think even early on in our relationship, I would for sure have more manuals or more things for him. Right. You know, why don’t you do this or why? And now I just check myself.

 

Anytime, I’m like, well, why isn’t he doing this or why, then I’m just like, okay, what, what is it about me that I’m frustrated with? Because that’s mostly it. And I find that, you know, I dunno, dropping the manuals, Paul just automatically, he does so many things that I never even have to think about or never even have to ask. And it’s just these little simple things. If he forgets to put the trash out, I put the trash out and I never think a second thing about it. And it’s just, again, I think we try to do those things for each other. I’m always thinking about him and I want to make his life easier. I love him. And so I’m, I’m thinking about ways to do that. And he does that for me too.

 

Yeah, I think just like Shannan was saying, just doing things because they need to be done. Cause I think that is a common thing that a lot of couples get involved with is kind of this tit for tat, I’m doing this, I’m doing more than you, you know? And that’s not, that’s not something that we really partake in. Yeah. I mean, we really don’t. If it needs to get done, I, I do, I try to do it, you know, but sometimes if you’re doing the same thing over and over, it gets old. So I just don’t do it for a little bit and then she’ll do it for awhile.

 

You know what I mean? Like you take care of it, but we generally don’t have to say anything like I’ve been doing the dishes five days in a row or whatever it is, you know, it’s a, it’s a work in progress. I think always because it’s human nature to kind of have manuals for people and expectations. So just dropping a lot of the expectations, I think is a big part of it. If we can drop expectations, then we can accept that person more and just not expect unrealistic things. And then maybe even be surprised that when they do things because we’re not expecting them, if that makes sense.

 

Yeah. I was going to say, I love that approach of like showing up to make their life easier out of love, like who doesn’t want that. Right? Yeah. We have a real good flow between each other. I do believe that like, as we’ve grown as a couple, as we continue to grow, I would say, you know, you said we’re really busy. We are. We have a full life for sure. And I dunno, we just have each other’s backs.

 

Right. And I think sometimes he can tell if I’m really like at kind of my wits end and he starts to pick extra things up and then, you know, I can see that with him too. So I don’t know. We just, we just have a good vibe. Yeah. And Shannan will do little things that I notice, you know, I don’t know if I ever, if I always say it, but she’ll do little things. For example, we get dinner, she’ll plate it for me and bring it in, you know, and just, won’t say it won’t make a big thing out of it. You know, little things like that, like Shannan was saying little things like that make a big difference. Yeah. They really do.

 

What is something about each of you that people don’t know that would be fun to share? I don’t know, shoot. Like a secret talent or just something fun. I know that is a tough one. I’m like, shoot, let me think. Okay. So I’ll go first. Let me think. I think everyone who meets Paul knows that he is, you know, super smart. I mean, he’s really smart and he’s a musician, one he’s very talented. I think lots of ladies know that, but he is so talented. He can play any instrument. So I have to say that first because I think that’s one, it’s just a really amazing talent.

 

He sings amazing and he writes music. He can just hear a song and then I watch him and he just, you know, he can just pick it up. Just, I’m sure you can read music, but I, I think you just can hear things too and just pick it up and just play it. He’s just really talented. And our grandbabies love it. I mean, he has this song that he wrote, the grandbabies love to sing it with him and play. And it’s just something that I don’t know, it just melts my heart. It always has, honestly, from when I first knew him to now, when he plays the guitar, there are certain songs that just instantly, I can just, if, even if I’m like super stressed, I instantly just relax because it’s just so good. So that to me, I don’t know if it’s secret. It is, it is just one of his biggest talents. It’s so good. And he’s a really good singer too.

 

I mean, Shannan’s so transparent I think, especially with the ladies in Transform that I don’t know if there is too much, but I mean, I could just say about her. She’s just, she’s very family oriented and just loves to give and give and give and give, you know, and doesn’t expect anything in return. Really. I think that all of our family can say that’s true. I mean, she’s just such a giving person. Yeah. I mean, that just pops in my head right away, because like I said, most of everything, everybody knows anyway. I think that’s a special talent for sure. I can vouch for that. Shannan definitely like gives all of herself and expects nothing in return.

 

As far as you two, what dreams do you have for the future? I have a lot of dreams. For us, for the business, but baby you go first. I’d like for us to help as many ladies as possible, you know, first off with Transform, but also I’d like to, you know, I’m finishing up with my master’s degree and starting up with counseling and psychology right now, as many know, and after two years I’ll be able to open up my own practice. I would like to do that also, that’s kind of been a dream of mine since I was like a teenager. So it’s kind of amazing that I get to make it happen right now, you know? And then I’d just like for us to, to keep growing, like we are and just keep doing what we’re doing.

 

Yeah. I know, I too. Right. I, my dream is to help every woman live in a body that they love and live their best lives. And I also want to create a company where women can be employed and grow and, you know, reach dreams and goals that they never, right, achieve, you know, even could think of, right. For their own families. And, you know, I know Paul and I, we also have dreams for our kids. You know, we have three children and each one of them are so amazing and special and unique and they all have these just amazing talents.

 

And so to watch our three children, plus our daughter-in-law, Telyn, and all of our grandbabies, we want to watch them grow and just reach all the dreams that they have. And our family is the center point of us. You know, we love them and I think they ground us and we want everything for them too, right. And for us, I think, I agree it’s just to keep growing and the love that we have for each other. And I can’t think of just someone, I just want to like spend my this life and if there’s other lives, those lives too, with Paul. And I think we just continue to grow and we continue to support each other through it. I don’t know.

 

It’s just an amazing thing. And I know we want to travel the world when all of this, you know, when it’s time, because we love doing that and just live like these extraordinary lives. And I’m so proud, I can’t wait. You know, I’m going to be the first one, just, I can’t wait for Paul to open his own practice and achieve that dream that he has. And he’s worked so hard for it. And I’m just super proud of him.

 

All right. That’s all the questions I have. Do you guys have anything else that you want to share? No. Thank you, Jenn. I loved these questions. Paul, is there anything else you want to say to the ladies? No, I think that I’m pretty happy with, with what we already said. Yeah. You know, ladies, this is just again, a special little treat. I thank you, Paul, for coming on the podcast, and Jenn for hosting. Again, I’m just so grateful. I get to have all of these amazing humans, and I get this amazing partner in this life. And how blessed am I?

 

You know ladies, this is what I tell you. I just want to share one quick thing because you know, I was a single mother, I was divorced. I, you know, had a relationship after that, that, you know, it wasn’t that great, we’ll say. And then I was single for a long time, and I had this dream of this relationship. I didn’t want a relationship that was full of contention and full of all the things. And I just wanted a person who was in and who wanted to grow with me through all my own faults. And I just was lucky to find Paul and I think it’s available to everyone. And it just starts with changing your thoughts and your beliefs. Because I remember doing work on myself to be the person that Paul would want to partner up with.

 

That was important. I had this dream of Paul. Really I did. But I knew that I needed to work on me and that, and I still think that today, I don’t think he needs to change. I need to work on me and continue to evolve myself and my growth. And that is the key to all of it. I love you, baby. Jenn, thank you so much.

 

And you know ladies, if you want to take this work deeper and you want to learn how to lose weight for the last time, have the most amazing relationships, then start with my free course. You can go to bflycoaching.com/ready, to take it. And it’ll start you on the fundamentals of what I teach. All right, bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

Subscribe:

Ep #116: How Playing Small is Hindering Your Weight Loss

Ep #116: How Playing Small is Hindering Your Weight Loss

In episode 62, I introduced how I teach self-love and why it is important in your weight loss journey. I taught what self-love means to me – keeping commitments and talking to myself in a way with love. Today I want to dive a little deeper into this concept and why it is a must as you grow and evolve.

I am sure for most of us we were taught from a young age not to appear “too proud” or “too boastful,” not to brag, etc. I think for most of us this just caused us to internalize it to mean don’t be proud of your accomplishments or capabilities, don’t feel beautiful, don’t be too bright and shiny.  So, we downplay our accomplishments. We stay small.

This is important to become aware of how this is showing up in your weight loss journey – shoot your life journey. How you are keeping yourself small, and how you are putting limits on how much success and love you can have in your life.

I will teach you how when we love ourselves first, it just expands our capacity to love others. We become less judgmental (including of ourselves).

Self-love is accepting that you are worthy, enough, beautiful, capable, smart, and amazing. It is you stepping into it. It is treating yourself with all the love that you give to others.

Are you ready to learn how to stop keeping yourself small, and now to live your best life in a body you love? I want you to step into the light my love, step into your beauty.

If you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show.  Also subscribe – you can do that by hitting the follow button, clicking on the + sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you are listening. This way, every Wednesday I am in your library.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • That arrogance is not the same as self-love – not at all – and how it is different
  • How to expand your capacity to love (both others and yourself)
  • How keeping yourself small impedes your weight loss success

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. How are you keeping yourself small?
  2. How can you show love to yourself?
  3. For the next 7 days write 1 success and then practice feeling proud each day.

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free course at bflycoaching.com/ready
  • Listen to podcast episode 62 for my introduction on Self-Love

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 116. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you, as always. Today’s episode is, oh, I love today’s episode my love. If you need a little like inspiration, you’re going to love it too. It’s one of my favorite topics, and it’s all about how really the lack of self-love is hindering your weight loss and what to do about it. But first I want to do a listener shout out. And today’s listener shout out is from Jenn Taylor. Jenn is one of our Transform Weight Loss coaches. You know, she listens to the podcast every week too. Shout out to Jenn. I love Jenn. Jenn is a beautiful human and I love the work that she does, and I love how she serves all of our Transform Bosses. She is just an amazing human. I know, I know my shout outs lately. I just, I love these women. Oh, I can’t even, I just love them so much.

 

So, her review was: This podcast is full of information and tools that you can begin to apply to begin to take back control of life. For so long I thought life was just what it was, the cards I was dealt. Not that life was bad, but I was not feeling joy. I was just going through the motions. I am forever grateful for Shannan and all her work she shares with us to help us learn to love ourselves, find the joy in life, and take back control of our lives. Ooh, yes Jenn. I love all of it.

 

Ooh. It goes right into today’s episode too. And my love, if you’re finding what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show. Also subscribe so every Wednesday morning I’m in your library.

 

Can you believe it’s December? Love, I am like December. I mean, 2021 is almost over. And you know, I’m, I’m all about finishing it strong. We have, you know, by the time this releases, a couple more weeks left in the year and you know, we’re gonna get it done. And 2022, can’t wait for it. I have to tell you loves, I was sick for a couple of weeks. I know, I got sick around my birthday, and then it kind of lingered on and I had like a sinus infection, ear infection, chest cold, a little bronchitis. I mean, it was all the fun stuff. And you know, and I don’t get sick very often at all. I mean, I think I went to fill my antibiotic and I think it was like, you know, I don’t even know, like five, six years since I filled a prescription. Now I’m feeling so much better.

 

And I’m like, oh, you know when you’re sick and you’re just like, please, when I get, well again, I’m going to run a marathon. I mean, you know, ladies, I don’t like to run, but I really am like so grateful and appreciative of this beautiful body and that I am well. And because I really was not feeling good there for a few days and I am just so grateful to come out of it and to feel amazing again.

 

So in episode 62, I introduced the concept of self-love and why it’s important in your weight loss journey. You know, I think all of us have been told at some point in our lives, like to love ourselves, and in episode 62, I introduce, you know, like what I believe self-love is. And so if you want to listen to that episode just go back to 62. It’s a great episode and introduces you into the topic. And the two major points really are, kind of the introductory points are how to start to keep commitments to yourself that’s a way that you show yourself self-love and how you talk to yourself, how you speak inside of that beautiful brain.

 

But today I want to dive a little deeper into this concept, and why it is a must as you grow and evolve. When I was a little girl I was taught, probably like many of you, not to brag, don’t be boastful. These were subtle messages that I, like many of my clients, were taught. As I grew up I internalized it to mean don’t be proud of your accomplishments or capabilities. Don’t feel beautiful. Don’t be too bright and shiny. So I downplayed my accomplishments.

 

I would self-deprecate. I would commiserate with my friends. If I received a compliment, I would downplay it. I learned that it was better to suffer, play small, and beat myself up than to show love and appreciation for my capabilities, talents, and beauty. It was a major reason I carried over a hundred pounds and such of extra weight on my body.

 

I also, as I was internalizing these messages from society from, you know, all sorts of, you know, outer influences, I started to create these limits, these self-limiting thoughts and behaviors, and it was really these limits on what I could achieve or what I could be. I set these ceilings for myself. I could only be so thin. I could only be so successful. I could only make so much money. I could only have so much love. I internalized this message of don’t be too amazing to mean that I was not enough and never would be.

 

I also wanted to fit in. I wanted to be liked. So I thought I needed to be less. This is a problem my love. If you are a woman, most likely this is a problem you have. We were taught to be demure, proper, virgin-like, perfect. And it made us think that if we went outside of that, then we were not worthy. Not worthy of love. If we were not the perfect mother, daughter, friend, the perfect size, the perfect body, the perfect nose. If we weren’t smart enough, funny enough, lovable enough, then we were less. This is important to become aware of how this is showing up in your weight loss journey, shoot your life journey. How are you keeping yourself small? How are you putting limits on how much success and love you can have in your life? These are two really vital questions as you begin this journey to lose weight for the very last time.

 

Now I want to talk about arrogance for a moment, because I think this is really important. We are so scared that we would come arrogant and be running around just telling everyone how wonderful we are. But my love, that’s not what we do. It’s not what happens. Arrogance is at the expense of others. Arrogance comes from the lack of self-love.

 

See, when I love myself, my capacity to love others expands. I become less judgmental. I fill the room with love for all. I can love myself, be proud of my accomplishments, and love others. Be proud of their accomplishments. I compare myself to others less often. I want the best for the other humans because my capacity to love has expanded, not contracted.

 

When you do not love yourself, you are limited in your capacity to love and accept others. Self-love is accepting that you are worthy, enough, beautiful, capable, smart, and just plain amazing. It is you stepping into it. It’s treating yourself with all the love that you give to others. It is not okay to make yourself less. You have a purpose here on this beautiful planet of ours, and mostly it is to live the most amazing human experience, to step into it.

 

We keep pushing our amazingness down with cupcakes, but it leaves us feeling unfulfilled and wanting more. A cupcake will never solve your feeling of not enough. I want to say it again cause it’s so important. A cupcake will never solve your feeling of not enough. This is the beginning of the work, the beginning of the work to lose weight for the last time and step into your best life. It’s becoming aware of why you’re carrying the extra weight. Why are you buffering your feelings, stuffing down your feelings? Why are you allowing yourself to be less?

 

The first thing you want to do is see how you’re keeping yourself small. What areas of your life are you afraid of being too amazing, too bright, too shiny. Then start with looking at your successes. Just one a day. And then practice feeling proud. Allow yourself to feel it, to feel proud, to feel love for yourself. It takes about two minutes. Write down your success and then feel proud. Feel love for yourself. I teach my Transform Bosses how to start to find and look at their successes.

 

How to start to talk to themselves with love and how to step into that next version of themselves. This is an important part to losing weight for the last time. See, we have this thought that when we lose the weight, that suddenly life will be amazing, we’ll feel amazing, we’ll love ourselves. But it’s not what happens. You’ll lose the weight, and your brain is still there, and if you don’t do this work on the way down, what happens is you’ll start to hit those ceilings, those upper limits that you have, and you’ll sabotage your success. I want every woman to live their best life in a body they love. I see the beauty in all women. I can feel proud of myself, know that I am worthy, lovable and all of the things. I want that for myself and for you. I want you to step into the light my love. Step into your beauty. Only then can you live fully.

 

The transformational questions and actions today are one, how are you keeping yourself small? And two, how can you show love to yourself? And number three, I have a challenge for you, for the next seven days, I want you to write one success every single day that you have, and then I want you to practice feeling proud each day. Woo it’s so good my love.

 

And if you want to take this work deeper then take my free course, you can go to bflycoaching.com/ready. Bye for now love.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

 

Subscribe:

EP #115: Are You Waiting for the Right Time to Start?

Ep #115: Are You Waiting for the Right Time to Start?

Let’s talk about the right time. I see and hear this a lot. I will start after vacation, or after the holidays, or after the winter.

When we delay starting, we also delay our progress, which ends up delaying our results.

This comes from fear. Fear that you will fail. What if I don’t lose the weight?

I also thought I needed to be perfect. I thought I needed to do everything perfectly.

When we can’t be perfect, then we don’t show up. We will come up with all the excuses – I will start Monday, after Christmas, once there all the “bad” food is out of the house.

This just keeps us stuck on the diet roller coaster.

Join me in this episode as I give you some simple tools to break your diet brain and teach you how to just start today where you are at. Are you ready to learn to fail, but not quit?

And come into Transform Boss Weight Loss on February 9. I will teach you how to lose weight for the last time through freedom, allowance, and love.  I want you to come imperfectly, I want you to fail, I want you to ultimately have all the success, but it comes through imperfect action. Small steps forward.

If you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show.  Also subscribe, you can do that by hitting the follow button, clicking on the + sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you are listening. This way every Wednesday I am in your library.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How when we delay starting we are only delaying our results
  • That perfectionism is just another word for inaction
  • How to lose weight for the last time with C work

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. What are you “not starting?”
  2. What have you told yourself that you can do after the holidays?
  3. What is 1 thing you can do today?
  4. Listen to episode 6 & 106 to learn all about my #1 Fundamental.

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course here
  • Listen to episode 87, if you have not already, on the introduction of waiting until the right time
  • Listen to episode 6 & 106 to learn all about my #1 Fundamental.
  • Take the free eight-day podcast challenge. Go to bflycoaching.com/podcast8.
  • Mark February 9, 2022 on your calendar – Transform Boss Weight Loss will be opening for a very short time, you will not want to miss it

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 115. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Are you waiting for the right time to lose weight? I know, right. When is the right time? I did an episode, number 87, introducing this thing we tell ourselves, this belief. But today I want to continue the conversation.

But first, I want to give a listener shout out. And this is to Diane Gruhlke. This is my favorite podcast, and I look forward to every new episode. I always learn so much. I absolutely loved this episode and hearing the stories of ladies who have the same struggle with weight loss that I do. Listening to their stories gives me so much inspiration and hope. Beautiful women supporting beautiful women. Thanks for sharing your stories and tips for success. Makes me feel unstoppable.

Ooh, that was the Transform Boss episode. I think it was episode number 99. I know Diane, I love it. Diane is one of our Transform Bosses. She’s amazing. She’s lost lots of weight. She’s, you know, she’s a mentor too. She’s absolutely amazing. And you know, Diane, I have so much love for you, and I’m so proud of you and all the work that you do.

And my love, share this podcast with three women you know who are struggling with loving their body, loving themselves, and who want to get off the diet rollercoaster by changing their mindset and beliefs instead of quick fix, you know, nonsense. And if you find what you learn here valuable, and you like it, then you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show. Also subscribe by hitting the follow button or clicking the plus sign so I’m in your library every Wednesday morning.

So as I record this, we are just coming off my 50th birthday weekend and Thanksgiving, and I have to tell you my love, it was just so much amazingness, and Thanksgiving was so beautiful. It was fun. We, you know, last year because of COVID, I didn’t have, you know, my brother didn’t come, right. We didn’t have certain members of our family, and this year we did. And so it was just so amazing to be with our family, our immediate family, and of course all the grand babies and my niece and nephew, and my son and daughter-in-law, it was just so much love. I just loved all of it.

And you know, the food was good too. I do have to say. And you know, this is the first year that I’ve really asked for help. I asked my son and daughter-in-law to come over, and my dad, and help me on Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, because I’ve had this little cold, little bronchitis, and they did, and we’re going to start doing that every year, for sure.

My daughter-in-law is an amazing cook. So is was my son. He like made my birthday cake, and my dad made the Jell-O. It was very delicious. And so, and he was very proud of it. It was super sweet. And so it was so nice to have the help. And we just had a lot of fun together cooking together. And so a little bit of sickness kind of turned out to be a really amazing thing.

And then Thanksgiving was great. And then, you know, my birthday was so great. You know, my two oldest grandkids on Thanksgiving were like begging me to spend the night, you know, they do every time, but, you know, I caved in because I love them and I just, you know, I wanted them to stay too. So they stayed the night on Thanksgiving night and you know, so I celebrated my birthday with them. I woke up with them, you know, and it was so fun to spend that time with them. And we actually, in my community, we have this really amazing park that they have built and it’s got a little lake and it’s got several different parks and basketball courts. It’s kind of a whole thing. And we went there, walked by the lake and saw the ducks. And then, you know, they climbed on these, they have these really huge kind of climbing structures. And we played on the swings and just had so much fun.

Paul and I took them home, and then Paul and I, we saw this really amazing movie, King Richard. It’s the story of Venus and Serena Williams and their dad , and it’s really good, Paul and I really enjoyed it. It was really inspirational, I thought. And so I recommend it highly. And so we just had this really fun. And then over the weekend I did a lot of resting because I’m still trying to heal my body. And so it was just a really blessed 50th celebration.

And, you know, I had so many, you know, all of my coaches and mentors in Transform, they, you know, bought me just the most beautiful touching gifts that I will have forever. And I felt really special and loved. And, you know, I mean, it does make me a little emotional because I just, I, you know, all of the ladies in Transform Boss and all of my friends and all of my family and you just, all the humans just, you know, sent me such amazing birthday wishes and so much love. And I just feel really grateful and really blessed for this beautiful life that I get to live.

So onto the show my love. So I want to talk about the right time. I see and hear this a lot. I do, right. I’ll start after vacation or after the holidays or after the winter. And I want to share this story with you. So this was pretty much right after my mom had passed and I had applied to be in my coaches, she had a one-on-one program, or it was a group program actually, but it was a very small group program. And I had applied for it and I had a one-on-one with her and, you know, I was all like, okay, I want to be in this program. Then she told me the price and it was, you know, pretty expensive. It was like $12,000. And so I started to tell myself that it wasn’t the right time.

Actually, I sent an email to her, you know, saying that, you know, I thought about it, and I gave the excuse actually that my mom had just passed and that, you know, it just wasn’t the right time for me right now. And I was scared that, you know, I wasn’t going to be able to commit because I was still working through all the emotions of my mom. And of course she just sent me this lovely email back.

And you know, that was that. And I share this story with you ladies, because yes, my mom had just passed. You know, it was a couple months after that. And you know, it didn’t, you know, my brain was processing and I was grieving, but the crazy part of all of it was my coach, she was exactly what I needed.

I needed support. I needed love. I had, you know, gained 55 pounds in nine months, you know, while my mom was passing, and I was feeling horrible about myself. I was feeling, you know, just exhausted. I felt like I was drowning. I felt like I was literally walking through mud. Like that is how I felt, and what I needed was a coach.

I needed the support. I needed someone to help me. I needed these tools that I teach today. And though I, you know, I had been learning them for years from her. This program was exactly what I needed. And you know, again, I ended up, you know, a couple of years later going through one of her programs. But honestly, I just delayed my progress. And I was out there doing it by myself. And, you know, I just delayed my results, and it came from fear. Fear that I was gonna fail, fear that what if I do this and I pay this money and I don’t do it? What if I don’t lose the weight? All of this fear came up.

What if I don’t have the time? You know, all the standard things. You know, love, there is never a right time. There really isn’t. And usually when we think it’s not the right time, when we’re in grief or when we are in transition, that’s exactly the right time. That’s when we need a coach. That’s when we need support. That’s when we need love from others.

But what happens is when these things happen in our lives, when we get really busy, when we get really overwhelmed, when we have these monumental really life changing events happen, or we’re in some sort of transition, whether it’s divorce or, you know, job change or something like that, this is just a protection mechanism from Lizzy.

We go back to all of those old thoughts and beliefs that we’ve had our whole lives. And we shut down. We like pull, you know, we go back into our cave and we shut the door. I don’t think there were, maybe there were doors on the cave, I don’t know, but that’s what we do. And you know, we do this from a place of fear. Not from a place of love or a place of decision. If I had decided that it wasn’t the right time for maybe other reasons, maybe she wasn’t the coach for me, or maybe the program wasn’t for me, or, you know, whatever it was. But it wasn’t a place of love for myself. That’s not how I made that decision.

I made that decision out of fear. I made that decision that I was going to fail that I wasn’t going to follow through, you know, and I had all of these reasons to justify what I was thinking. And, you know, I also thought I needed to be perfect. I thought, oh, here’s my coach, I need to do everything perfectly for her.

And perfectionism is just another word for inaction. I want you to hear that again. Perfectionism is just another word for inaction. When we think we have to be perfect, when we think we have to eat perfectly, exercise perfectly, perfect mother, perfect wife, all the things. When we think we have to be perfect, then we do nothing.

We freeze. We feel paralyzed. We buffer, we overeat, we over TV. We over social media. We do all the things that are not for our best future selves. And, you know, perfectionism comes from how we’re socialized. We’re socialized to be perfect. You know, we, as we were growing up, I’m sure same for you as it was for me, when I was “perfect” I was rewarded. When I had good grades. When I did the perfect things. When I showed up perfectly, I received rewards. And so over time, if I failed at something, then I felt the punishment because, and mostly it was from myself beating myself up.

And so, when I wasn’t the perfect wife or mother or daughter or friend or employee, you know, I would beat myself up and I would punish myself. And this is just kind of how we’re socialized. We’re socialized to give reward for, you know, A plus work. I teach this in Transform, I teach C work. And, you know, I learned this from my coach. She says B minus, but I’m all about C and C work. And that, you know, I want to give the gold stars for those who are doing the C work. Because the A work, what happens is, you know, you think you need to do A plus work. Maybe you do it, but you do it at the expense of love for yourself.

You do it at the expense of, you know, showing up for yourself and showing up with love. And, you know, ah, I tell you, I really have learned this the older that I get. You know, perfectionism is just one of the biggest lies that we’re told that we have to be perfect, that we have to do everything at this high level.

And I love to over deliver. I over deliver to my clients, but I don’t have to be perfect at it. And I fail at it. And you know, you’ll find, you know, spelling mistakes, I mispronounce words. I don’t know. There’s all sorts of things, right. And I make mistakes. And I just want to say this to you because love, perfectionism is just another word for inaction.

When we were younger, we had a lot of push to be perfect. And then as we have become adults, there are certain things, including our weight is probably the number one thing for me, is any time I thought I couldn’t be perfect when I was on the diet roller coaster, I would be eating all the things. I would either be in or out. If I could not be perfect then I would tell myself, I’ll start on Monday, I’ll start tomorrow, I’ll start when I get the new journal or after I go grocery shopping, or when all the “bad food” is out of my house. I would tell myself this over and over again. And I just want to offer you a different way.

I want to offer you C work. I want to offer you that the only way to lose weight for the last time, I mean hear this, the only way is through imperfect action, C work. Through failing and through having support, having a community around you that will pick you up, getting coached, having someone show you what’s happening in that beautiful brain of yours, and practicing beliefs and new thoughts so that you can start to believe something different about yourself.

And, you know, I think about, you know, I don’t beat myself up about, you know, that I didn’t go to Brooke’s program. You know, it was just a lesson for me. It was such a lesson in this any time I tell myself that it’s not the right time, that I’m going to start it later, or I’m going to do, I really question myself. I ask myself why? Am I coming, is this a decision I’m making out of fear? Or is this a decision I’m making out of love? What would C work do right now? What would love do right now?

Those questions are really important as you’re starting to embark on this journey of losing weight for the last time, living in a body that you love and, you know, finding freedom on this journey of, you know, losing weight for the last time. And it is so much more than that. It really is about learning how to love yourself, and forgive yourself, and fail, and not quit. Hear that, fail and not quit. I can’t tell you how often I would have a failure, I would make a mistake, and then I would quit on myself. And you know, all of my Transform Bosses, you know, I was just coaching someone, and I was so proud of her because, you know, she was kind of beating her own self up, but I was just so proud because she keeps showing up.

She keeps, you know, and she has lots of success, but you know, Lizzie, Lizzie was showing her all the things she should be doing, or what she could be doing. And I just, oh, I just had so much love for her. I mean, I do love her. And I mean, I do like, Ooh, you know, I love my ladies. And I just, because you know, it’s goes back to this perfectionism that we’ve been socialized to be.

So today my love, you can start. Not tomorrow. Not in an hour. Go to episode number 6 and number 106. And it’s all about the realistic plan. It just takes you doing one thing, like making your realistic plan. The realistic plan is all about allowance, learning to break your diet brain. How to start changing, you know, all of this diet trauma that you’ve endured, and diet culture, and breaking up with dieting for good.

And don’t forget, come into Transform Boss Weight Loss on February 9th. I will teach you and coach you on how to lose weight for the very last time through freedom, allowance and love. I want you to come imperfectly. I want you to fail. I want you to ultimately have all the success, but it comes through imperfect action. Small steps forward.

The transformational questions and actions today are one, what are you “not starting?”  Number two, what have you told yourself that you can do after the holidays? Number three, what is the one thing that you can do today that is C work. And number four, listen to episode number 6 and 106 to learn all about my number one fundamental, the realistic plan.

And if you want to take this work deeper and you want to start now, take the free eight-day podcast challenge. Go to bflycoaching.com/podcast8. And that is the number 8, All right my loves. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

Subscribe:

Ep #114: Disconnected and What it Really Means

Ep #114: Disconnected and What It Really Means

Ladies – we are in the full swing of the holidays!

I have been thinking about today’s show because especially during busy seasons of our lives or during holidays, we disconnect from ourselves. We stop showing up for ourselves, we go into our automatic brains, old beliefs and patterns.

Disconnection is a trigger – an alert warning that you are believing you must be perfect and do all the things. When you disconnect, you are taking care of everyone else and not yourself.

Join me in this episode as I teach you how to stop disconnecting and start showing up for yourself.

Just by starting with 1 simple step, and doing it again and again. Then failing. Then taking the next best action. And repeat.

What one small thing will you do today for you to show up for yourself?

If you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show.  Also subscribe; you can do that by hitting the follow button, clicking on the + sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you are listening. This way every Wednesday I am in your library.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • What disconnecting from yourself looks like
  • How to stop disconnecting from yourself
  • How 1 small thing will get you faster results than 5

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. Have you been disconnected from the work, from taking care of you?
  2. Why? Just be curious, no judgement or beatdown.
  3. What can you learn from it?
  4. What 1 thing can you do for you today – what is your next best action?

Featured on the Show:

 

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 114. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Ooh, today we’re going to talk about disconnecting from yourself and the work. Ooh, it happens. And I’m going to give you some ideas on how to move forward. But first I want to give a listener shout out, and this one goes to Tammie, mtfiddler68. And the title of her episode on iTunes was Just Mind-Blowing, episode number 98, when you don’t know what you don’t know. When I first listened to this, at first I was confused because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Then when I listened again and really thought about this concept, it just blew my mind to think that I’m afraid of trying something new or different because it’s unfamiliar or I’m not sure what I’m doing just made me realize I need to try it all that much more. That I just don’t know how yet. Each one of your podcasts is so amazing. I just don’t know how each one gets better. Love them all so much. Thank you so much for putting these out there. They help me so much. So much love to you.

Well, you know Tammie, I love me some Tammie. I love Tammie. She is amazing. You know, Tammie, I love, have loved watching, she is a Transform Boss and Transform mentor, and I’ve loved watching her journey. You know, Tammie’s lost a lot of weight, but most importantly, Tammie has just learned to show up for herself, to try new things, to get out of her comfort zone. And she helps other women with that too. I love you Tammie.

So if you find what you learn here valuable, you can help other women find this show by leaving a review and rating of the show. Also subscribe. You can do that by hitting the follow button or clicking the plus sign in Apple or hitting the subscribe button wherever you’re listening. This way, every Wednesday morning I’m in your library.

My love, we are in the full swing of the holidays as I record this. And I have been sick, just a head cold, but it was a sign that I needed to rest. So that is what I did. I’ve had a busy November and October and my body needed rest. So I gave myself rest. You know, I put some things off, delayed some things I was going to do. And I have spent a lot of time in bed. I have slept more this week than I have in a long time. It’s been a good reminder for me to slow down and get more rest.

I mean, my body had to like produce an illness for me to realize it, but it’s a good reminder. And a good reminder as we all go through the holidays how important slowing down and getting rest is. I’ve been thinking about today’s show because especially during busy seasons of our lives or during the holidays, we disconnect from ourselves. We stop showing up for ourselves. We go into our automatic brains, old beliefs and patterns.

I was coaching a client and they were telling me that they had a lot of things happening. Their life was feeling busy. They, you know, had all of these different things going on and they had kind of disconnected from “the work.” And they wanted to get back into the work. And they had all these thoughts about, I should be doing this, I should be doing that. But as I was coaching her, what was actually keeping her stuck was this thought, I should get back into the work. Because when she thought that thought she felt overwhelmed and disappointed in herself. And when she felt overwhelmed and disappointed, her actions were to not do any of it. To do all the things for all the other humans, but nothing for herself.

See love, when we feel overwhelmed or we start to beat ourselves up, we actually don’t take action. We do nothing. Disconnection is a trigger. It’s like an alert warning, kind of like the gas warning on your car that you’re running low. And you believing that you must be perfect and do all of the things, it’s causing this feeling of overwhelm. And so then the action that you take is nothing. It’s disconnection. Even in periods of rest, I’m still connected with myself.

We believe that rest is disconnection. And for many of you, it also equals eating “comfort food” to go along with the rest. This week, my body needed fuel food. It needed food that would fuel it, make it well, heal it. I needed rest. I needed to be present with myself, take care of myself. See love, disconnection is taking care of everyone else.

I want to say that again because I want you to hear it, because it’s so important. When you disconnect, you are taking care of everyone else and not yourself. I had to remind even myself this week, because it’s the holiday season. So many things are happening, in the business in Transform, at my day job, my family, you know, all these things. And I had to remind myself that I could not disconnect from what I needed. What the self-care that my body needed. And so just remember, when you disconnect from this work, and what you’re really doing is disconnecting from yourself, you’re taking care of everyone else, and you’re putting yourself on the back burner.

This work, my four fundamentals, and if you’re a Transform boss, the weight loss course and coaching, it is about doing it imperfectly. Doing one thing until it becomes a part of your automatic brain. It’s about failing, and then deciding what your next best action is. Telling yourself, I need to get back in, I need to restart, I need to start over, I need to do all the things, I need to catch up, well, that’s keeping you doing nothing.

Decide on purpose what you want to think. I’m learning how to show up for myself. I’m learning to do one thing. I’m learning to start with one thing and take the next best action. So start with one thing today. Then do it again, then again. Then fail. Then take the next best action. Then another next best action. Then fail, then fail. Then do it again. You do not need to do all the things. Just focus on one, like the realistic plan. One thing will get you a faster result than doing five things. Five things will keep you doing nothing.

And the transformational questions and actions today are one, have you been disconnected from the work from taking care of you? Number two, why? Just be curious. No judgment or beat down necessary. Number three, what can you learn from it? Again, this is just being curious. And number four, what one thing can you do for you today? What is your next best action for you?

And if you want to go deeper on this work, do the free eight-day podcast challenge. Go to bflycoaching.com/podcast8. So good my love. See you next week.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

Subscribe:

Transform Boss Weight Loss

TRANSFORM BOSS FREE CHALLENGE!

The Transform Boss Free Challenge is BACK! Learn the tools Shannan still uses today – to get you off the diet roller coaster, for good. Register now for the 7-day challenge beginning July 10th!

This form collects information we will use to send you updates about promotions, special offers and news. We will not share or sell your personal information. You can unsubscribe at any time.