Ep #131: How Busy Action is Showing Up and Keeping You Stuck

Ep #131: How Busy Action is Showing Up and Keeping You Stuck

I teach something I call the thought cycle. You have a thought, then that thought produces a feeling, then you do or don’t do something, and then you take action or you don’t.

Go back and listen to podcast episode #105 if you want to learn more about it.

In this episode I will be talking about the action part of it – productive vs. busy action, and there is a really a big difference.  

I will teach you how your outcomes are from your actions, which are because of what you are thinking and feeling.  

I will explain the difference between busy action and productive action, and give you tips on how to get to the productive action.

Getting honest with yourself, becoming aware is everything in losing weight for the last time. And to lose weight for the last time, you have to do the hard work – the productive action that will produce the outcomes you want.

Are you ready to start taking productive action and achieve the outcome you want?

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • What the thought, feeling, act cycle is and how you can use it to lose weight
  • The difference between busy and productive action
  • How if you are not seeing the results you want you are probably only taking busy action

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. How is busy action showing up in your weight loss journey?
  2. How is productive action showing up in your weight loss journey?
  3. Where do you need to hold yourself accountable so that you can lose weight for the very last time?

If you are just starting this work and you need community, you need the tools to lose weight for the last time – then start with my free course at freebosscourse.com

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals here
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • Listen to podcast #105 – bflycoaching.com/105
  • For all my Transform Bosses, also listen to Quick HIIT Rest vs. Inactivity

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 131. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Ooh, I love today’s episode. I want to talk about how busy action shows up and how it’s sabotaging your weight loss journey. But first I want to give a listener shout out to Wandahey. Hi Shannan. I love listening to this podcast. I learn so much from you each and every time, whether it’s listening, participating in a coaching call, BFLY on Facebook, the workbook, realistic plan, et cetera. This is the second time this year listening about the impossible goal. My very first reaction was how does Shannan expect me to do this? It’s not about Shannan, but myself. It’s not about achieving the impossible, but who I’m becoming working towards it. Thank you Shannan, for all your guidance and support, Wanda.

 

Oh, Wanda. I know, I love it. My Transform Bosses, Wanda is a Transform Boss, and she’s so amazing. I love you Wanda, and so proud of all the work you do. And if you like this podcast and you want to help other ladies find us, then be like Wanda, write a review, and it really does help others find the show. So I would really appreciate if you would rate and review the show. Also subscribe so every Wednesday morning I’m in your podcast library.

 

Love, Oh, I have to tell you, I had the best day yesterday. I had my grandbabies over and we just went to the park and watched a movie and just had fun. We went to, we walked actually from my house and there’s two different parks that are pretty close, and we went to the parks. They climbed on all the things and played on the swings. And we threw Frisbees. We did some running races, and I have to tell you ladies, my two oldest grandkids, they beat me in the race. They for sure did. But we had so much fun. This time in Arizona the weather is so beautiful. It is March and it’s just gorgeous. And so it was like 85 degrees maybe. And it was just gorgeous and sunshiny and we had the best day. So I hope that you get out today and I hope you find some sunshine. I hope you do. I know this time of year is kind of iffy for lots of places, but I wish you all the sunshine.

 

Let’s talk about the difference between productive action and busy action. Before I get into it, I want to remind you, or if you’re new to me on how your thinking, your beliefs turn into action. You have a thought, it’s just a sentence in your brain. And then that thought produces a feeling in your body. A feeling like sad, happy, joy, frustration, disappointment, love. Those are feelings. And they’re produced by a thought that you have. Then you have a feeling in your body. And the next thing from that feeling, you do or you don’t do something. You take action or you don’t. This is what I like to call the thought cycle. Now you can learn more about that on episode 105, but wanted to really kind of walk you through it again, because it’s important in what I’m going to teach today.

 

I want to dive into the action part. We have productive and busy action, and there is a difference. I’ve been thinking about this concept lately. You’re here because you want to lose weight. You’ve been thinking about it, maybe taking some action, but if you’re not getting the outcomes that you want, you’re not getting the results that you want, then the actions that you’re taking are not producing your outcomes, your results. And it’s important to understand that your outcomes are from your actions, which are because of what you’re thinking and feeling.

 

If you’ve been listening to this podcast or you are a Boss in Transform Boss, then maybe you’re doing some of the actions that I teach. You’re starting to practice new boss thoughts. You’re making a realistic plan. Again, maybe you’re a part of the community and you’re posting, or you’re checking in with your physical hunger. These are the basics to the process.

 

Now, if you’re new to me, you can check out my free course at freebosscourse.com. This is where you’ll find and start to learn some of the basics that I teach. Now, every one of these basics, they play a part in long-term weight loss. Now this is where the rubber meets the road. If you’re doing some of these actions and you’re not seeing the outcomes, you’re not losing weight, you’re not seeing the results from what you’re doing, then one of the reasons could be that you’re doing “busy action.” You’re doing things that aren’t producing the results that you want. And what I want for you is to do productive action, to do the things that are going to produce the results that you want. Now, this is important because if you’re not getting the outcomes that you want, it’s because of the actions that you’re taking, that are caused by your thinking or your automatic thinking that’s in play.

 

I’ll give you an example. When I started to lose weight for the last time, I started making my realistic plan. So I was deciding ahead of time what I would eat, then I would not eat on plan. I was doing the busy action of making the plan, but then not doing the productive part of eating on plan or asking myself why I ate off plan. Then I would tell myself, oh, this isn’t working. I told you Shannan, you can’t do this. You can’t lose weight. Why are you making a plan? This is dumb. These are all the thoughts that would be up in my brain. I would go into a pity party about how weight loss was my struggle.

 

I tell you ladies, getting honest with yourself, becoming aware is everything in losing weight for the last time, I was not doing the entire cycle of action so that it would become productive action. Productive action leads to achieving the outcomes you want. Busy action leads to a lot of playing in the puddle. We do a lot of busy action when we research a new diet. We might go to the store and buy all the foods and then we don’t cook it. We let it go to waste, right? Or we half do it. We don’t check in with our body to see if we’re actually full or if we’re even physically hunger. We do not do the productive action of the whole part, right? Of checking in with your body, of asking yourself, if you’re hungry, checking in to see when you’re full.

 

Busy action keeps us thinking that we’re doing something, and it’s just so important because we can be so tricky with ourselves. We do this all the time. We do busy action. I can think about this in so many areas of my life. You know, maybe I have a project at work that has a deadline and I need to get it done. I’ll do all the busy action because there are parts of it I don’t want to do. And so I just keep procrastinating. I keep putting it off. And I find with this work, remember, Lizzie wants us to stay the same. She wants us to, you know, not change. And so, busy work seems like we’re doing something.

 

If you’re one of my Transform Bosses, I went a little deeper on this, I did a Quick HIIT, Rest versus Inactivity. So you can go and go into our community and find this or on Transform, our membership site. If you’re not a Transform Boss, what I want you to do is get a piece of paper and write down how busy   action is showing up for you. How are you telling yourself all of the stories, all of the things about how you’re doing something, but this is how you know if it’s working. Ladies, this is it. Are you getting the results, the outcomes that you want? If you’re not, you’ve just got to look at your process. You’ve got to look at, you know, the basics that I teach. How are you doing? Where are the parts that you’re just doing busy action? Where is this showing up for you?

 

And this is important, this is not to judge yourself. This is not to beat yourself up. This is just so that you can tell yourself the truth so you can hold yourself accountable. See, there’s a difference in holding yourself accountable and beating yourself up. Beating yourself up, to me, is, you know, telling yourself you’re, something’s wrong with you, you’re broken, all of those really negative thoughts about yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. There isn’t. There’s not one thing, you’re not broken. You are lovable and worthy, and all the things. Being accountable is just telling yourself the truth.

 

Here’s how I’m doing the process. Here’s where I’m doing the productive work. Here’s where I’m doing the busy work. Here’s where I’m making my realistic plan, but I’m not eating on it, or I’m not even making my realistic plan. I’m just listening to the podcast, but I’m not doing any of the action that it’s going to take to lose weight for the last time. This is what I want for you my love. I want you to achieve all your dreams, all your goals. If you’re one of my Transform Bosses, I want you to become the person who achieves her impossible goal. If you’re listening to this podcast, I want that for you too.

 

To lose weight for the last time you got to do the hard work, the productive action that will produce the outcomes that you want. And to do this, it’s one small step at a time. It’s looking at your data, looking at what you’re doing, and then deciding on purpose your next step. And then if you’re not getting the outcomes, you’re not losing weight, then just asking yourself, am I doing productive action or am I doing busy action? And you can really start to get honest with yourself.

 

So the transformational questions and actions today are one, how is busy action showing up in your weight loss journey? Two, how is productive action showing up in your weight loss journey? And three, where do you need to hold yourself accountable so that you can lose weight for the very last time?

 

And if you’re just starting this work and you need community, you need the tools to lose weight for the last time, then start my free course at freebosscourse.com. Ooh, so good. And next week, Oh, I cannot even wait. I know ladies, I love this work. Next week, I’m going to talk about your body. Yeah, you won’t want to miss it. All right my loves, bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #130: How One Simple Change in Your Thinking Will Help You Lose Weight

Ep #130: How One Simple Change in Your Thinking Will Help You Lose Weight

Last week I talked about how we anchor ourselves to old versions of ourselves. It keeps us stuck. In this episode I want to go deeper and talk about how our thinking about food keeps us stuck also.

We have thoughts that we just love food.

But food is just food. It will never love you back.

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into how your thoughts is what is keeping you overweight.

We have so many thoughts that are keeping us on the diet roller coaster – thoughts like “I love food,” “I can’t control myself,” and the whopper of thoughts is “I can’t have it.”

I will teach you how to begin to change all of these thoughts that are keeping you stuck.

How to decide on purpose what you will eat, and that nothing is off limits.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How to stop obsessing about food
  • How to live the life of your dreams that is not centered around food
  • How we all have an inner rebel in us when it comes to weight loss

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. Get honest about your thinking and what you are actually doing
  2. Ask yourself why you want to fuel your body, why is that important to you
  3. Decide on purpose and practice boss thinking. I don’t want it.

If you are just starting this work and you need community, you need the tools to lose weight for the last time – then start with my free course at freebosscourse.com

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals here
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • Listen to podcast #129 – bflycoaching.com/129
  • For all my members of Transform Boss WL – Go to Module 3, Video #31 (Using this Work Against Yourself) in the weight loss course

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 130. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Have you taken my free course yet? If you’ve been listening to the podcast and you have not taken my free course, you want to take it. This is how you begin your journey to lose weight for the last time. You can go to freebosscourse.com and we’ll also put that link in the show notes for you.

 

So, oh, I’m excited about today’s episode. I’m going to talk about the love of food and this thought that we have that really keeps us stuck. You won’t want to miss it. But first I want to give a listener shout out, and this is to Fieldmoni. This podcast got me started in the program a couple months ago, and the knowledge that I’ve gained is amazing. My way of thinking in regards to weight is changing. And my self-esteem has grown. I’m starting to love myself more and more. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you so much Monica. She is one of our Transform Bosses and I just love her. I love the work she’s doing, how she’s showing up. She is a beautiful soul. So shout out my love..

 

Ladies, I am getting so excited. You know, me, I love, I love this work. I love what we do. I love my Transform Bosses, and we have Unstoppable Live coming. Now this is a Boss only event. So you have to be in Transform Boss to go to this event. It only happens one time per year. Yeah. After this April, it doesn’t happen again until we’re not going to do it again until October of 2023.

 

So it is very special, and we’re about five weeks out. Now this is an in-person and a virtual event. So I have ladies who are flying to Arizona to attend it in person. And then I have a bunch of ladies watching it virtually, and we make the experience so good that even the virtual ladies, they feel like they’re in the room with us. We take so much time and pride because I tell you, my team we’ve been working on this for months because we just always love to over-deliver. My clients, they mean so much to me.

 

You know, we have these lizard brains, I like to call mine Lizzie, and always tells us to not show up for ourselves to slowly quit on ourselves. It always tells us how we’re busy. I mean, you know, ladies, right? All the excuses. And so we’re always trying to make things simple and easy. And I just can’t wait for this event. We’ve been doing, it’s on the top of my mind because we have just been, you know, doing so much planning and work. We just put in the final orders for all of our swag, so every lady who attends they get this beautiful VIP swag box. It’s full of all kinds of goodies.

 

But most importantly, I know our bosses who attend this event, they’re going to change their lives. You know, I just got off a coaching call this morning with one of my bosses and she attended last year in person and is going to attend in person again this year. And she’s made so much progress. She’s like a different person from the very first time that I coached her. Just the way that she shows up, I mean, she is light. I just can’t even explain the difference. And she has done so much work on herself. I’m just so proud of her. So this is the work ladies. It is. Ooh, it’s so good.

 

Let’s get into the show. Last week, I talked about how we anchor ourselves to old versions of ourselves. If you’ve not listened to that, you definitely want to go back. It’s episode number 129. When we anchor ourselves, it keeps us stuck. And today I want to go deeper and talk about how our thinking about food and our love of food also keeps us stuck. We have these thoughts that we just love food. I mean, ladies tell me all the time, Shannan, I just love food.

 

I was thinking back to when I was 300 pounds and I thought I loved food too. It really was the center of my universe. It’s where I got a lot of my joy and pleasure from. I want to tell you about one of my favorite meals at the time. It was this meal and dessert from Chili’s. It was this chicken dish and like this blonde brownie concoction. Plus, you know ladies, I had to get their chips and salsa. I thought I loved this meal and I would crave it. I would think about it. And when I would get it when I would go to Chili’s or when we would order it to go, I would eat it up. There was no savoring, no checking in with my body. I just would eat the whole thing. There was not, you know, a bite left. And I had these thoughts that I just loved it, that this meal was just bringing me so much joy.

 

There’s other foods I can think of that I have these same thoughts. I think about this, I’m a sweet girl and I loved sugar cookies. And so, I had the same thought that I just loved them. I would go to the ends of the earth to try a new sugar cookie with deep thick cream cheese frosting. I would obsess about these foods, wanting them, creating this love story around them. But love, food it’s just food. It never loved me back. It never really brought me joy. Not for anything more than two minutes. When I would eat the whole buffet from Chili’s right? The whole meal, dessert appetizer, I would feel sick. I always felt like I needed a nap.

 

I would, you know, feel lethargic. And then I would start to beat myself up. I did not like weighing 300 pounds. It felt hard. I felt heavy. I didn’t like the way I looked. I didn’t like the way my clothes felt. I didn’t like that I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do with my son. I was a single mom at the time. But I would just tell myself I just loved food. I had created this whole life around food, because love, I had not created the life of my dreams. I had not put my focus on my dreams or my goals or the things that really brought me true joy, real pleasure. See, I was always rushing with food, scarfing it down, eating it in the car, eating it standing up. I’d go to the grocery store and eat things on the way home because I couldn’t wait to eat it.

 

This came from this thought that I loved food, I needed it. But I didn’t love it. I never sat with it and enjoyed it. I overate it until I was sick, lethargic, stomachaches. This is not love. See, I had this thought that I have to eat it now because somewhere in the back of my head, I was preparing for my next diet. My next time that I would be restricting. I would tell myself that I was going to be better, and that I would not eat foods like this ever again. Somewhere when I was eating the buffet from Chili’s and the back of my brain, I was telling myself that I was out of control, that I should not be eating it. That I will be better tomorrow. Now this is for all my ladies who are in Transform Boss Weight Loss, go to module three in the weight loss course, and then watch the video Using This Work Against Yourself. It’s video number 31. I go in depth about doing this work on transforming your beliefs.

 

Now love, your thinking is what keeps you overweight. It is believing thoughts like I love food, I can’t control myself with food, I will do better tomorrow or Monday or after the event or after the summer. These thoughts are what is keeping you overweight. And the Whopper of the thought, I mean, just this big thought that keeps you on the diet roller coaster is ready, wait for it – I can’t have it. We tell ourselves this story about how we restrict, how we can’t have certain foods. Then we feel punished, deprived. And then we rebel. The opposite of I can’t have it is I’m going to eat all of it. It brings out your inner rebel. This all comes from years of dieting, years of not focusing on what you are thinking and believing.

 

You think if I just eat the right foods, I will lose weight. It doesn’t work. You’ve done this. You’ve been on the diet roller coaster how long? How long? How many diets have you started? This is about really getting honest with yourself about the truth. Because until you start thinking better thoughts, you are going to stay on the diet roller coaster. And I know, I know this. I have seen it. I have done it. I experienced it for almost 38 years. And what changed was the way that I thought, what I believed, and then throw in tools and coaching and community. That’s how I lost weight for the last time. I eat all the foods. I decide what I want to eat, and I don’t tell myself that I can’t have it, because I can.

 

I’ve always been able to eat what I want. And now I love my body. I want to take care of it. I want to fuel it. I want to feel good. I don’t like the feeling of being lethargic. I don’t want a stomachache. I don’t want to carry extra weight on my body, my joints. I want to give the best shot at a healthy life.

 

See, you can always eat what you want. No one is taking food from you or forcing you to eat. So when you tell yourself, I can’t have it, you go into a pity party. You tell yourself, I can’t have it, poor me. Why is this my struggle? And then the opposite reaction is a full binge. I want you to practice a different thought. I want you to start to believe something different. You always eat what you want to eat. You always have. And simply say, I don’t want it. I don’t want to eat it because I don’t want a stomachache. I don’t want to eat off plan. I don’t want to have to take a nap. I want energy for what I’m doing today.

 

This simple change, this simple change from this thought of I can’t have it to I don’t want it, Love, just keep repeating that to yourself over and over again. I don’t want it because, and I tell you, it will keep that inner rebel from piping up and thinking that you can’t have it and going into a full, you know love, I know, I have been in that pity party so many times where I felt like, you know, I was out of control. I felt like, why is this my struggle? And what that did is it kept me in victim. And I want you to take your power back. I want you to just say, I don’t want it. I want a body that feels like freedom. That’s what I want.

 

So the transformational questions and actions today are one, get honest about your thinking and what you’re actually doing. Two, ask yourself why you want to fuel your body. Why is that important to you? And three, decide on purpose and practice boss thinking, I just don’t want it.

 

And if you’re just starting this work and you need community, you need the tools to lose weight for the last time, then start my free course at freebosscourse.com. Woo. So good my love. Now you want to tune in, you want to make sure that you’re subscribe to this podcast because, next week I am going to talk about how busy action shows up and how it’s sabotaging your weight loss journey. Bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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FB Live 63 – The Love of Food

Facebook Live #63: The Love of Food

This episode I am talking about the love of food.

I know so many of us have said or just thought about how much we love food. We have to have that cookie, or chips, or pizza, or whatever it may be because we think we love it.

For so long we have tied food to comfort, with love.

But, I want to challenge you on that.

Food is just this object. It doesn’t love you back. It doesn’t create real pleasure or real joy.

I will talk about what our real joy is, our real pleasure is.

I will teach you how to become aware of how food is in your life and the meaning that you’re putting to it.

You don’t have to eat only “healthy” food.” You get to be the scientist of your body. Find out what foods fuel you.

I will teach on the difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger.

Your body is amazing. It knows what it needs. It will tell you what foods fuel it.

You always get to decide what you want to eat.

Are you ready to take back your control?  

What You’ll Discover:

  • Food does not equal love
  • Awareness and allowance are key to losing weight
  • The difference between physical and emotional hunger

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals here
  • Follow me on Instagram!

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #129: How We Anchor Ourselves in the Past

Ep #129: How We Anchor Ourselves in the Past

Join me in this episode as I dive deep on how you can start to believe new things and how you will start to become the next version of yourself. It happens over time – you don’t even realize it.

I will talk about how important it is to have a community when you are losing weight for the last time – how they can support and cheer you on.

Ladies who will see you for who you are now, not who you were. That is so powerful!

I will give you tips to challenge yourself, your brain, aka Lizzy, to quit pulling yourself back into the past.

Are you ready to step into the next version of yourself?

If you are just starting this work and you need community, you need the tools to lose weight for the last time – then start with my free course at freebosscourse.com

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How our thoughts keep us anchored to our past
  • When we stay anchored in the past, we cannot hang on to who we are today
  • How you have to be intentional to recognize you are becoming the next version of yourself

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. Who are you today in your weight loss journey?
  2. How are you different? (Do you think differently, love yourself more, don’t eat some things that don’t feel good in your body, have decided that you won’t go on diets, that mindset change is the way?)
  3. What successes are you having?

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals here!
  • Follow me on Instagram!

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 129. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy back with you. Ooh, today. Ooh. I love today’s topic. It’s so good. You don’t want to miss it. But first, I want to give a listener shout out to Cynthia Joncas, and she wrote on iTunes: This podcast and wonderful group of ladies has changed my life. I’ve had several life events and obstacles in my path these last couple of years, all of which I would not have come out of so strong if not for this group. Shannan’s podcast comes from the heart. She shows so much love for everyone. This podcast is definitely something you want to take out time to listen to. Oh Cynthia. Oh, I love me some Cynthia. Cynthia is one of our Bosses and she is amazing, a beautiful soul. And I just am lucky to know her, that is for sure. And I love the work that she does, and I’m just so proud of her. So much love.

 

And my love, if you love this show and you want to help us reach more women who need this work, then rate and review the show. You can do it anywhere you listen to this podcast.

 

So let’s talk about what has been going on. Oh my love. I just had a few days off and really needed it. And I tell you ladies, life can get so full and busy and all the things. And you know, I think for all of us, sometimes you just have to say, I need some me time. I need some rest. And that’s what I did. And you know, I allowed myself to rest. I had all the things that I had planned to do done, and just allowed myself to rest, to spend a couple of days having some fun and resting.

 

Paul and I, we went to the movies. I know it seems weird, Paul and I always used to go to the movies. He loves the movies actually. And we used to go on lots of date nights at the movies. And you know, the last couple of years with everything that’s gone down, we haven’t really been, I think one time maybe, but we went, we went to the movies. Ladies, it’s not a movie I really wanted to see, but it’s all good.

 

We, I don’t think he necessarily wanted to see it, I think we just really wanted to go to the movies, but we saw the new Batman movie. I don’t know. You know, it’s not really totally my thing. I almost wished we had the grandkids with us, but it was nice. It was just nice to be out and be with him. It was fun to be out and about. It felt familiar and normal, I don’t like the word normal, but it felt good. And to see other humans, it felt really good. So we went to the movies. I did a lot of resting and just allowing my brain to rest. I think that’s really important.

 

This is for all my ladies who live this really intense, full life with all the things. Sometimes we don’t allow our brains to just rest and not with all the expectations of all the things we need to do and all the things we need to get done. And it’s so good because I find that when I allow myself to rest, then I’m so creative and my brain is just like bing, on fire with all the things. And so I’m just going to challenge you ladies to that, and get some really good rest and have some fun.

 

So let’s get into today’s show. So I want to tell you a story. Way back when, I don’t even know how long ago, this was maybe 15 years ago I guess now, I don’t know, when I was thinking about going back and getting my MBA, my master’s degree, I was looking at schools. Now I had decided on this one school because I had received my undergraduate from an online school. It wasn’t a top school by any stretch of the imagination. You know, it wasn’t one that I had to apply to. It was just like, Hey, you know, and at the time I was a single mom and I just wanted to take a class. I just wanted to get in.

 

I had graduated high school and then got married and then started a job and had decided that I wanted to go back and, and get my education. So I found a school. It was online, which really worked well with being a single mom. And it took me eight years actually to get my undergraduate. So when I was thinking about going back for my master’s degree, I had no thought or belief that I could go to a top school. I remember at the time I walked into my then vice president’s office and was telling him like, Hey, I’m going to go back, I’m going to get my master’s degree. And here’s the school that I’m going to go to. And I’ll never forget this actually. He peered up from his glasses and he looked at me and said, why would you go there? Go to ASU. Now at the time, I think still, probably they were like in the top maybe 10, 20 of all of the MBA programs in the nation.

 

So, as he is peering up, looking at me saying, go to ASU, my brain flooded with, there’s no way that you can get in. You probably have to apply. You probably have to take some tests. Like there is no way that you are going to be able to get in there. Like, does he not know like you went to this online school to get your bachelor’s degree and like, no way. Right? So all these thoughts and I’m standing there. And again, I just thought, okay, no way.

 

And he, again, he just looked at me and he said, why not? He’s like, you’re very smart. Go to ASU. And there was no question in his mind. There was no doubt in his mind that I could get into ASU. So I don’t know. I thought, okay, well I’ll apply. And then I, of course all the thoughts, like, oh my gosh, what if I don’t get in like, oh, I feel so much shame. I’m going to disappoint him. You know, all of these things. But I, again, I decided, okay, I’m going to do it. So I applied, I did the interview process, did all the things I needed to do. And I got in, and I, you know, received my MBA from ASU.

 

And I want to say this loves, I was smart enough and I could figure it out. And I want to say, and I know you’re like, Shannan, how does this relate to weight loss? But, oh, I’m going to get there my love. See, I had this anchor. It’s like an anchor, a weight in my mind. I had this thought of this 22-year-old girl with no formal education who did not believe in herself. But I had grown. I had learned how to figure things out. I had learned how to get help. I had become the next version of myself.

 

But I was still hanging on to the 22-year-old version. I still believed that this is who I was. This is so important. When you’re losing weight for the last time, as you follow my process, as you start believing new things, you will start to become the next version of yourself. It happens over time. You don’t even realize it. Your brain wants to anchor you into the girl who struggles with her weight, who is out of control, who is just the girl with a pretty face. Your brain wants to keep you there, wants to keep you stuck, and stuck in that old version of yourself.

 

But I want you to challenge that. I was in our community this morning, in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and someone had posted that they had not ate on plan, but they were paying attention and they were stopping more when they realized that they were approaching full, which is amazing, right? Reconnecting to your body. It’s a lot of work my love after we’ve been disconnected for so long. But her brain was focused on she didn’t meet her expectation.

 

This is important. Your brain is wired to keep you alive. Never forget that. It’s always scanning for danger. It will always look for challenges, failures. It’s not wired to look at what you’re doing right. It is not wired to see your successes. It is not wired to recognize that you have become the next version of yourself. So you have to be intentional on recognizing that. This is why community is so important in weight loss. My bosses support each other every day. They cheer each other on. I cheer them on. My coaches, mentors, ambassadors. We cheer each other on. Because you don’t see your own progress. You’re still anchored in these old thoughts and beliefs of who you were.

 

I think about that VP, his name was Jim Phelps, he cheered me on. He saw who I was, not who I had been. I want to say that again. He saw who I was, not who I had been. He had no doubts because he saw the current version of me. But my brain, the one that wanted to protect me, saw the danger, the danger of putting myself out there, expecting more for myself. So it wanted to shut down. Your brain wants you to stay the same, that old version of yourself. So it will trick you into thinking that is who you are today.

 

But I want you to challenge that. Who are you really today? How do you show up today? How are you doing this work today? What is different about you today than three months ago? One year ago? Five years ago? Ten years ago? You get to decide. What is different? How do you show up differently? How do you do this work? Are you making your realistic plan? Are you doing thought work? Are you starting to believe something different about yourself? Are you starting to pay attention to your body? Are you starting to have more self-love for yourself? In weight loss this is so important, because if you keep anchoring yourself into who you were, you will not be able to hang on to who you are today. I want to say it again. If you keep anchoring yourself into who you were, you will not be able to hang on to who you are today. You’ll keep pulling yourself back into the past.

 

Now if you’re just starting this work and you need community, you need support, you need the tools to lose weight for the last time, then start with my free course at freebosscourse com.

 

Now the transformational questions to ask yourself are one, who are you today in your weight loss journey? Two, how are you different? Do you think differently, love yourself more? Maybe you don’t eat some of the things that you used to eat because they don’t feel good in your body. Have you decided that you’re not going to diet anymore? That mindset change is the way? Those are so good. And number three, what successes are you having? Remember love, you have to be intentional about looking for your success. So good my love. Next week, I’m going to go even deeper on this and talk about our love affair with food. You will not want to miss it.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

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EP #128: Feeling Regret About Your Past and How to Move Forward

Ep #128: Feeling Regret About Your Past and How to Move Forward

Join me in this episode as we are going to go into the past and how we can move forward from it.

You are stronger than you believe. You are wiser than you know. You are more worthy than you can imagine.

Our past lives in our minds, made up of a million experiences, both good and bad.

I will dive deep into how we cannot change the past, just what and how we think about it.

You get to decide what to think and believe. I mean how powerful is that?

I will teach you how to get out of that past puddling and how you can move on.

I will give you some steps to start to decide what you want to think about your past, so that it can serve you.

Your past is your past. You can’t change it, only what you want to think about it now. You can choose to suffer, you can be the victim of it, you can past puddle – or you can take your power back and decide what you want to believe about it. You get to write your own story!

Are you ready to take your power back?

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • What it means to be “past puddling”
  • How you can take control of what you think about your past
  • How to write your own story – what you think is what you become

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. What do you past puddle in?
  2. How is it keeping you stuck today?
  3. What do you want to believe about it?

And if you need help and want to take this work deeper, then take my free course at freebosscourse.com. I will teach you how to get started with this work.

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals here!
  • Follow me on Instagram!

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss or Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 128. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Today, we’re going to go into the past and how we can move forward from it. Ooh, I love this episode. But first I want to give a listener shout out, and this is to Jenn C Taylor. She wrote Shannan, I must thank you for not only the coursework that you’ve poured your heart and knowledge into, but also this incredible community of women. There’s freedom in being surrounded by a group of women that you know aren’t judging you, but instead welcome you with open arms, love, and want to see you succeed. It is true freedom to combine the work you teach along with this beautiful community of women. Thank you. Jenn, thank you so much.

 

I know, I love Transform Boss. It is just the best community of women. We have so many beautiful ladies and they’re so supportive and non-judgmental. Weight loss can be hard. We have a lot of diet trauma and doing it alone, it’s just the worst. I did it for so many years. I know my love, the community is amazing. So thank you so much Jenn, and all the ladies who take the time to write a review. I appreciate it so much. If you would take a few minutes and rate and review the show, I would so appreciate it.

 

So ladies, it’s been a little bit since I’ve recorded. I had batched a few episodes because we had a launch and challenge and I knew it was going to be a really busy time. And you know, we welcomed in a whole group of new Transform Bosses and it was amazing. I love the free challenges. They are so fun. We saw so many ladies come in and just experience this work for the first time.

 

I’ll never forget when I started to learn this work and realize that these old records, these old thoughts, these old beliefs, that is what was keeping me overweight. All the diet plans, all the food plans, none of that was ever going to solve it. And I tell you my love, it was really so eye opening for me. And so I love watching women come in and experience that too. You know, we’ve just been told over and over again, you know, follow this, calorie count, remove carbs, you know, all of these things. And then when we have a bad day, we don’t know what to do, or, you know, we feel like the food is calling our name in the pantry and we’re like, I don’t know, you know, and you overeat and then you keep overeating and then you beat yourself up.

 

And this work is really to lose weight for the last time is about allowing all of those old thoughts and beliefs without the resistance of them. And then learning to believe something different. Learning to believe that you can do it. And a few other brain hacks in there too. It was so fun. And this new group of Transform Bosses, they are amazing. We are having the best time. When you join Transform Boss Weight Loss, you come in and you go into kind of a three-week challenge and it just really brings you in and, you know, helps you start the course and get used to the community and lots of different things.

And I am just watching today. I was reading one of the challenge posts and it was about success, like post your success. And I cannot, these ladies are having so much success and I’m just so proud of them. So to all my new #newbosses, ladies, I’m so proud of you. I love all my bosses. They’re so amazing.

 

So the last few weeks have been full for sure, and after launch and you know, the challenge, Paul and I, we went up north to Sedona to a cabin. I have to tell you ladies, it was a little different than what I thought it was going to be. It was super cold. It actually had snowed the day before we got there. I knew up in Flagstaff, we get snow in Arizona, believe it or not, but in Sedona, I didn’t know that we would get that much snow. And there was a good amount of snow and it was very cold, and we were in a cabin and we had a fireplace and a small heater, but it was so cold.

 

And, you know, I love to hike and get out in nature. And we did a little bit of that, but again, it was just so cold. So we ended up actually coming home a day early because it was beautiful here down in the valley. And I really just wanted to spend some time in the sun and the warmth. And even though we had a great time up in Sedona and the cabin was beautiful and the people were great, I was okay to come home a day early and get back down here in the sun. So for all my ladies who are in the cold, I am wishing spring for all of you very, very, very soon.

 

 Today I am recording from my heart because I had another episode, I had planned for another episode, but I had really been struggling with this the last couple of days myself. And so I thought, oh, let’s talk about it on the podcast. I found myself, and my love, you have to really think if this ever happens to you, but wishing that I had done something different, and it was related to my business and this one thing I wish I had done differently.

 

I then started going down the path, you know the path, the path of if I would have done this different, if I would’ve done that different, you know, all of the mistakes I’ve made, I started just really what I like to call past puddling. I felt so much regret and shame. And I had this thought like, oh, you know, what am I doing? Who am I to do this business and be an entrepreneur? And I’m telling you, it was like, you know, a couple hours where I would just go in and out of these thoughts. I remember this when I was on my weight loss journey, having these similar thoughts about weight loss. I would go into my past and think about all the times I had failed and how it had always been my struggle.

 

And you know, just really what I like to call past puddling. I would just, you know, go into all of these old memories and beat myself up, again, thinking about if I had been smaller, if I was thin my life would’ve been different. And would it have been? I’m not sure, right? It, maybe some of the fabric of my life would have been a little different, but I wouldn’t change anything. Every part of my journey has really made me who I am today. So thinking about this and past puddling, it just really keeps us stuck because one, we can’t change anything about the past. Two, we don’t really know if anything would have been different or if it would have been a better different. You know, I always believe that life is 50/50.

 

Whether you know, like now my life is 50/50, when I was 250 pounds my life was 50/50. 50/50 is just part of the human experience. So I don’t think that my life would have been any different, meaning any happier. If I would have never had this struggle, I wouldn’t be here today. I wouldn’t get the honor and the privilege of helping women discover this process of losing weight for the last time. Discovering self-love.

 

I wouldn’t have done that for myself. I love this quote by Byron Katie. “When I argue with reality, I lose but only a hundred percent of the time.” The fact is my past, whether it’s in weight loss or in my business, it is reality. It’s what happened. I can’t change any of it. I can just learn from it. I can grow from it. I can decide now what I want to think about it. See, the past only lives in our minds, and my love, we are made up of a million experiences, beliefs, habits, thoughts. Not one thing, one event, one trauma, one painful experience, one mistake. Not one thing made us who we are.

 

We’re not our past mistakes or failures. They’re just part of our experience. We are a million things, good and bad. Coaching is about learning how to become aware of your old thoughts and beliefs and deciding what you want to think of them today. You can keep thinking whatever you want, but I like to decide what I think and believe. I found myself today doing a lot of reflection work, a lot of work around these old thoughts, past puddling thoughts that were coming. Because I wanted to allow the feeling, allow the feeling of shame, allow the feeling of regret, because I knew if I could allow myself to feel it, to cry, to release it, then I could move forward.

 

I could’ve kept thinking that I would never lose weight, that it would always be my struggle. I could’ve kept telling myself that it was never going to happen for me. I could have always gone back to my past to find evidence that I was never going to lose weight for the last time, and I could have done that. But what you think is what you become. So if I kept thinking that weight loss was always going to be my struggle and that I was never going to figure out, then that is what would have become. I would have still been 250 pounds, maybe even more.

 

But I decided that I wanted to believe something different. That it didn’t matter what I had done in the past. When I started on this weight loss journey to lose weight for the last time I had to one, meet myself where I was at. Two, I had to learn how to fail. I had to learn how to accept where I was, the reality of where I was. And then I had to learn how to take the next best action. When I made a mistake, when I had a failure, I just took the next best action. I didn’t make it mean anything had gone wrong.

 

You know, my loves, we just can’t change the past, only what we think of it. We can suffer. We can keep going through the pain of our past. Or we can decide what story we want to tell, what we can learn from it, so we can move forward. So we can decide that the past doesn’t define who we are today. It’s just the story. It’s the story that lives in our mind. It’s the million experiences who make us who we are today. My love, you are stronger than you believe. You are wiser than you know. You are more worthy than you can imagine, because you are everything. All of it. When you can allow the past to be there, decide what you’re going to think about it today, then you can move forward. When my mind wants to fill with all the puddling, with the doubt, the regret, the shame, I just allow it. I allow myself to feel bad, to cry and release the emotion. Then I move on to the next thought. I don’t have to argue with myself or make myself wrong. I just allow it and then move forward.

 

So here are the steps to start to decide what you want to think about your past so that it can serve you. First allow yourself to think about it, to feel the emotion of it. Feel the pain or the shame or regret, and just allow it to be in your body. Breathe through it. Then name how it feels in your body. Start asking yourself questions. How does shame feel in my body? How does my shoulders feel? How does my neck feel? Right? Go into your body and breathe through it. And then number three, decide what you want to believe about it now. Did you learn something from it? Did it help you grow? Are you just proud that you made it through to the other side? Decide on purpose what you want to think about it, the story that you want to tell in your own mind.

 

Your past is your past. You can’t change it. Only what you want to think about it now. You can choose to suffer. You can be the victim of it. You can past puddle. Or you can take your power back and decide what you want to believe about it.

 

So, the transformational questions are one, what do you past puddle in? Number two, how is it keeping you stuck today? And number three, what do you want to believe about it? Ooh, so good my love. And if you need help and you want to take this work deeper then take my free course at freebosscourse.com. I will teach you how to get started with this work, how to start to change your thoughts and your feelings and those old past beliefs that are puddling around in your brain so that you can start your journey to lose weight for the very last time. All right, bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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EP #127: What Does Showing up for Yourself Actually Mean

Ep #127: What Does Showing Up for Yourself Actually Mean

What does it mean to show up? It’s easy for us to show up for other people. We want to please others, want others to like us, and so we do things for them – show up for them.

But how often do you think about showing up for you?

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into what showing up for ourselves looks like, and how to put yourself first.

I will teach you how when we don’t show up for ourselves and are always putting ourselves last, that others will do the same to us.

I will talk about how to keep commitments to yourself and how to build trust in yourself again.

How to become unstoppable.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • What not showing up for yourself is costing you
  • How when you break commitments to yourself you break trust within yourself
  • How to become unstoppable

Transformational questions/actions:

  1. What is not showing up for yourself costing you?
  2. What is one small step that you can do to show up for yourself?
  3. How are you breaking commitments to yourself?
  4. Make a commitment to yourself right now and decide you are going to honor it no matter what. You got this my love.

And if you need help and want to take this work deeper, then take my free course at freebosscourse.com. I will teach you how to get started in this work.

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals here!
  • Follow me on Instagram!

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 127. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. I always wondered what showing up for myself really meant. It was hard for me to believe that I could show up for myself. I was always so busy, had so many things on my plate. But in today’s episode, I want to show you how you can do it and why it’s important.

 

So I am so excited today. I am just feeling all the love and gratitude. I know that our lives are 50-50, and full of all of it – the good and the bad. But on days like today, when I’m feeling all the love, I just want to soak it in. I am so grateful for my team, my family, Paul, all of my Transform Bosses. I just love this life that I’ve curated and all the amazing humans in it. I love all of it. And I love you.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to show up. See, I think it’s easy to show up for other people. They have expectations of us. I mean, that is what we think and believe. Maybe it’s not true, but we think it, and we care about what they think about us. We want to please them. We want them to think amazing things about us. So we show up for them. We think about what we can do for them, how we can please them, how we can love on them. We want them to like us, to love us.

 

Now, why don’t we care what we think about ourselves? I just want you to think about this for a moment. Why don’t you want to please yourself? Think amazing things about yourself? Why don’t you want to have love for yourself? Why don’t you make time for you? I know it’s a little mind twisty, because we have all of these thoughts that we’re too busy, we’re just tired. Shannan, I’m plain tired, exhausted. We just cannot make time for ourselves. We can’t fit us in.

 

But how is that working for you? I ask because when we don’t show up for ourselves, when we don’t put ourselves on the list, we are more mentally tired and drained. We feel more feelings around resentment and discontentment with our lives. What is not showing up for yourself costing you? Because my love, there is a price. Showing up for yourself is thinking good things about yourself.

 

Practicing love for yourself. Wanting to fuel your body, so you have energy. Getting rest. Saying no. Drinking water. It’s caring about yourself because you matter. When you don’t show up for yourself, you teach the other humans in your life that you don’t matter. I see ladies tired, exhausted, and feeling like they’re being treated poorly. But my love, you have a part in that.

 

If you’re always putting yourself last, why are you surprised when others do the same? It’s important to get real with yourself about what showing up looks like. It’s not hours a day at a spa. It’s the little moments where you think about you. You plan for you. You feel proud of you. You feel some love for yourself. It’s not big sweeping things, though it could be. But it’s truly just putting yourself on the list and thinking about how you want to live for yourself in this world. How do you want to treat yourself? How do you want to impress yourself? How do you want to love yourself? It’s also keeping the commitments you make to yourself. When you break commitments to yourself, you break trust within yourself.

 

Then you judge yourself. Beat yourself up. When you keep commitments to yourself, you will start building trust, that trust within yourself again. See my love, you keep commitments to everyone else in your life, you have built trust with the other humans in your life. And now it’s time that you start building that trust within yourself again. Because then you become unstoppable, and you deserve this my love. Some space in this world. You have the time, I know that you do. I know your brain is like, but I don’t. I promise you this my love, you do. You will feel better and you will have more time when you start showing up for yourself.

 

The transformational questions and actions today are one, what is not showing up for yourself costing you? Number two, what is one small step that you can do to show up for yourself? Number three, how are you breaking commitments to yourself? Number four, make a commitment to yourself right now and decide you’re going to honor it, no matter what. You got this my love.

 

And if you need help and want to take this work deeper then take my free course at freebosscourse.com. I will teach you how to get started in this work. Ooh, so good. Bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Transform Boss Weight Loss

TRANSFORM BOSS FREE CHALLENGE!

The Transform Boss Free Challenge is BACK! Learn the tools Shannan still uses today – to get you off the diet roller coaster, for good. Register now for the 7-day challenge beginning July 10th!

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