Facebook Live #67: How to Get Off the Diet Roller Coaster

Facebook Live #67: How to Get Off the Diet Roller Coaster

You will not want to miss this episode. I am going to bust some diet myths.

I am sure for most of us, we have been on the diet roller coaster for years – Weight Watchers, Keto, 75 Hard, military diet, restricting, counting calories, eat less exercise more, and so many more. You name it, I have probably done it.

But all these do is keep us overwhelmed. We might have some success, but then get frustrated (because of restricting), and then end up gaining weight again. Have you been there? Feeling frustrated and hopeless, just thinking weight loss would always be your struggle?

I will dive deep in 3 of the biggest diet myths.

I teach a different way – losing weight is an inside job. No diets here.

I will teach you some tips and tricks that I teach my Transform Bosses – like how to handle those cravings or urges.

I will show you how to talk to yourself differently.

Looking outside of ourselves is not the way to lose weight. Are you ready to take your power back?

What You’ll Discover:

  • How diets are just an outside solution that gives your power away
  • How becoming the scientist of your own body can lead to weight loss
  • Weight loss is not about the food

Featured on the Show:

Enjoy the Show?

EP #139: Weight Loss and Self Care

EP #139: Weight Loss and Self Care

This episode was actually inspired by my deodorant. Yes, you read that correctly. My deodorant that I order comes with this card.

“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.”

Join me in this episode as I dive deep on what self-care means and how it helps you lose weight for the last time.

We all think that self-care is getting a manicure, pedicure, or getting your hair done, a massage, etc.

But self-care is so much more than that.

I will share the 3 things I think self-care is.

We get this one beautiful life, body, and mind – how are you going to take care of it?

If you have not taken my free course, it will get you started in my fundamentals of losing weight for the last time. Go to freebosscourse.com. And join me in my 8-week summer fun of Live with Shannan – how to get off the diet rollercoaster for good.

Transformational Questions:

  1. What is one action you can take towards self-care?
  2. Why is self-care important for you?

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How we, as women, need to set the example of putting ourselves first and taking care of ourselves
  • How reconnecting with your body is self-care
  • Learning how to believe new things about yourself – talk to yourself more than you listen

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals here
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • Listen to podcast #138 with our Transform Boss Weight Loss Coaches!
  • If you are already a Transform Boss go to Boss 2.0 and watch video #38 and #39
  • We are opening in July for 5 days!

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 139. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Oh my goodness. Did you listen to last week’s podcast? If you haven’t, you want to do it, episode number 138. My Transform Boss Weight Loss coaches, they took over the podcast. How fun is that? If you have not listened to it, you for sure want to. The coaches came in and talked through some of their challenges, some of the things that they’ve seen as they’ve coached other women, some of their challenges and how to overcome them. And it was a super fun podcast too. You do not want to miss that.

 

So my love, I am so excited. We are getting ready to open, and I know we’ve communicated that we’re going to do it in June, but we’ve decided that we’re gonna do it in July. We’re gonna have some summer fun and open in July. So again, you’ll always want to get on my email list. The easiest way to get on my email list is to take my free course. You can go to freebosscourse.com and that way you just have all the updated information. You can also follow me on Instagram at Shannan Christiansen. And of course the BFLY coaching business page on Facebook, you want to get in that so that you can find out all the fun information.

 

Because, you know, I decided I was going to do something fun over the next eight weeks before we go into our Transform Boss summer free challenge and open up the doors for five days to Transform Boss, I’m going to do eight weeks of Facebook lives and we’ll put them on the podcast too, after I do them. But if you want to be live with me, you for sure want to get on my email list because you’ll get all the notifications of when I’m going to do that. I’m going to go live for eight weeks and I’m going to take you through the basics of my process, why we’ve been on the diet roller coaster for so long and how to get off and how to start your journey to losing weight for the very last time. So you do not want to miss that.

 

I mean, here we are, we’re almost through the end of May and we’re going into June. You know, we’re almost halfway through the year, halfway through 2022. I always like to do a goal review, look at where I’m at with my impossible goal, and as I do that, I look at how am I doing? Am I on track? Have I gotten behind in some areas? And it’s just a really good way, a review that I do. And, you know, as I do this kind of eight weeks of Facebook lives, I’m going to help ladies do that, really look at where they’re at in their weight loss journey and how to move forward. Time just keeps moving. It’s the one thing I know for sure.

 

We as women, a lot of times push ourselves off and we push our own journeys off and we do all the things for all the other humans. And you know my love, this work is about learning how to show up for yourself so that honestly, at the end of the day, you show up in your life and you’re not just this robot going through it, who is disconnected and you feel more connected, not only to yourself, but to all the other humans. So very excited. Get on my email list if you’re not on it. Take my free course, or you can always follow me on social and you’ll get all the updates. And for sure come to the Facebook lives, they’re always fun. You can interact with me. You can ask me questions. They’re super fun. And if you go to facebook.com/bflycoaching, you’ll see my business page and get all the information there.

 

So today’s episode, I have to tell you my loves, today’s episode is kind of inspired by this little card that I got. So my husband and I, we order this certain deodorant, it’s called Native, and they send this little, I don’t know, it’s like a little card that comes with the deodorant and sunscreen that we ordered, and it says, “Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.” I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I got COVID and for two and a half years, I’ve been able to avoid it. But, you know, I guess it was inevitable because I traveled and got COVID.

 

I wish I was one of the ones that was asymptomatic, but that’s not how it’s been. I’ve been pretty sick. Whenever if you’ve ever been sick, I’m sure you’ve experienced this, you’re just like, oh, can I please just feel good again? Can I just feel amazing again? Because it’s so easy to take that for granted. And so it was interesting because while I was sick, I got this card in the mail from the deodorant and it just made me really think about our bodies. It’s the one thing it’s with you from the day that you’re born until the day that you leave this earth. No matter what happens, your body’s always with you.

 

You know, within the last month we did Unstoppable Live in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and part of it was all on the relationship that you have with yourself, the relationship that you have with your body, and this concept of self-care, this concept of how do you improve this relationship that you have with yourself? See, we think that losing weight is about the food, and that if we just ate better, if we just moved our bodies more, then everything would be great. But it is so much more than that. And if you’re listening to this, you know, you know that because you’ve tried all the things. And here you are, you’re just like, I’m still frustrated, Shannan. I’m still struggling with this. It’s because it’s the way that we think about our bodies. The way that we think about the relationship that we have with ourselves.

 

I think back to this time, this was probably about seven and a half years ago, I had become really sick and I had bronchitis. I had never had bronchitis before, but I got really, really sick. You know, I was working, I was commuting at the time, family, you know, all the things, right? All the things we have as women. I didn’t take time off. I just kept trying to work through it. I felt horrible. I couldn’t breathe. I actually, I had it for about six weeks. I even broke a rib because I was coughing so hard and so much. I just thought that I needed to show that even though I was sick, I was still strong. I think we’ve been taught, I mean I saw this through examples in my life, through my mother, my grandmother and other women, that if you’re a woman, be strong, you know, and be strong and you don’t have time to be sick and you don’t have time to take care of yourself.

 

And when I had bronchitis that’s how it was. I remember thinking, like people telling me like, oh, I can’t believe you’re still working. Like, oh, that’s, you know, just like thinking like that was a good thing. You know, at the time I was eating my way through it too, because you know, I wasn’t taking care of myself even, by fueling myself with amazing food. And this bronchitis that might’ve lasted a week or two ended up being with me for six weeks, just lingering on, because at the time I didn’t have the tools that I have now. And I believed that if I would’ve taken time for myself to rest and to heal that it meant that I was weak.

 

And this is so important my loves, because when we, as women, set the example that work through your sickness and do everything for all the other humans and put yourself last, we’re really setting the example for all the other humans in our lives. And believing that taking care of yourself is weakness, I think that it’s the opposite of that. When you put yourself on the list, whether that’s first or even in the top three, and you, you know, if you become sick or you need more rest or whatever it is that you take that time for yourself, you take that time to rest. You take that time to take care of yourself, it is such strength. Because it is not easy to do. Because you’ll feel guilt. You’ll feel like you’re letting people down. You’ll have all of these beliefs and thoughts that you have been programmed.

 

And so to actually be able to take care of yourself, to slow down, to rely on other humans, you know, I just experienced this and being ill and having to rely on other folks, having to rely on my team, having to say, you know what, I can’t do this. Like, I didn’t feel good. And I wanted to rest and telling my team at work like, Hey, I need help with this. I need help with getting this, this stuff done. And you know what’s so interesting is that, you know, allowing myself to heal, allowing myself to take the time, I’m going to shorten the time that I’m ill and I’m going to rest my body and give myself the rest and the love that it deserves.

 

It really inspired this episode today because we think about self-care as pedicures, massages, long walks on the beach, I’m not sure, they’re just surface things. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good massage, but self-care is so so much deeper than that. And if you’re one of my Transform Bosses, you can go to in Transform Boss 2.0  video 38 and 39, you go a little bit deeper, and we have some worksheets on it too. So they can do your own work on this.

 

But you know, ladies, you’re here and you’re listening to this podcast because probably what started was you wanted to release some weight off your body. And if you want to release weight off of your body, if you want to lose it for the last time, you want to live in a body, whatever that weight is for you, that feels like freedom, that feels strong, then self-care just has to be a part of it. You have to start reconnecting to your body, taking care of it. And you have to start believing different things about it.

 

We’ve all been on those quick fix diets. Like if we were in a room together, I’d say, raise your hand and I bet all of you would, where we have gone on the quick fix diet, we’ve lost some weight and then something happens or we can’t really white knuckle it any longer. And then we start to gain the weight, we start to put that extra weight back on our body. The reason why is because we never learned how to lose weight in a way where we cared for ourselves, where we changed the beliefs and the thoughts that we had about ourselves and about our bodies.

 

And so what happens is we start sabotaging. We don’t know what to do, and then gain the weight back. I did this so many times. When I say I was on the diet roller coaster for 38 years, it really was a rollercoaster of up and down, being on a diet, off a diet, doing all the things, and feeling just really frustrated and hopeless. What I had to learn was that I really had to take care of myself and that it was really important. I just want you to really hear this. It’s really important that we care for ourselves, our mental health, our physical health, our spiritual health. Like that is so important.

 

And yet as women, we have messaging consistently that we’re not important, that we don’t matter, that we need to put everyone else first, that we have got to save everyone else. And we’re not even in the picture. And when we do that, we become exhausted. We become physically ill. We put on this extra weight, because we’re trying to disconnect, because we don’t want to feel negative emotions.

 

And we haven’t been taught how to feel the emotion and not take negative action on ourselves. And so I want to tell you what I believe self-care really is. And I have three things that I want to share with you. Self-care to me is all about reconnection with your body, and your mind. Really investing time, resources, everything that you have in that reconnection.

 

And the first part of that is what I like to call the body basics. Your body, amazing as it is, has certain things that it needs to live, to survive. It needs sleep and water. It needs breath. It needs right? The air that we breathe. It needs to move. Your body needs to move. And so understanding that you have these certain things that your body needs, it’s not a negative thing. When I think about sleep and water, even moving my body and breath, like it’s just something that is a requirement.

 

When you think about moving your body, I don’t think of it as exercise. I don’t think, you know, I need to go do it for 30 minutes. I just know that if I sit too long, my body feels stiff. My body wants me to get up and to move it. Even though I’ve been ill and I’ve rested more, had more sleep, drank more water. I still have gotten up, walked around my house. And then when, as I felt better, I started to walk a little bit outside again because my body likes to move.

 

These are just body basics. You watch little kids. They’ll tell you everything that they need. Or you even have a baby and you see, you know, they cry when they’re thirsty. You know, when they need sleep, they sleep. They’re always moving right. As they start to learn how to move their arms and their fingers and their legs, they’re always moving. Because these body basics, it’s just part of self-care. And we’ve put all of these requirements, we’ve made it complicated. And it’s just really simple. You need to rest, you need to sleep. You need lots of fluids and water. You can get that through food and through water. You need to move your body. And it can be anything just like moving your arm right now, up and down, your body just likes to move. And breathing. We need deep, good breathing, because our body, air is essential to every piece of our being.

 

Two, part of self-care is developing the relationship with your mind, your body and your spirit. And this is multiple things, but it’s really this reconnection to it. I carried extra weight on my body for so long, and I was so disconnected. I had a lot of negative thoughts about it. I thought, why couldn’t it be thin? Why couldn’t it be all of these things? It had aches and pains. Part of this relationship with your body is starting to pay attention to it, starting to care for it, starting to fuel it with food that feels good into it. Paying attention to when it’s hungry, when it’s full. Talking to it. I love as I’ve been healing, I love talking to my body and thanking it, and having appreciation for it and how it’s been able to heal. You know, this virus came in and my body’s been able to heal. My body’s been able to fight it, how miraculous that is.

 

And so again, this relationship is just paying attention to it. We have disconnected and run from it for so long and being able to really appreciate this miraculous body that we have and fueling it with really nourishing, amazing food. Again, this isn’t to discount, you know, sometimes you want a cupcake, but also fueling it and loving, like, I love eating food that feels good in my body. Like I love eating, as I’ve been ill, my taste buds have changed a little bit. There’s certain things. I had a salad with some balsamic vinegar and I was like, well, it tasted so horrible. I couldn’t eat it. So I had, again, just pay attention. And there were still things, right. I had some vegetable soup and it tasted amazing and felt so good and fueled my body.

 

And so just again, paying attention to that fueling of your body, eating food that feels good in your body. You know, I dieted for so long that I had such a negative thought pattern around fuel food. And as I’ve done this process, my Transform Boss process, I’ve learned to love good food that fuels my body. And I don’t have these thoughts that I never can have a cupcake or I never can have chocolate chip cookie dough. I still can have all of it. I have all the foods, but I also make sure that I do prioritize fueling it too, because I love feeling good in my body.

 

Now, part of this too, is your relationship with your mind and your thoughts. And this really comes down to understanding and coming into awareness of what’s happening in that brain of yours. What are you thinking and believing and self-care, this mindset change, that is the foundation of everything that I teach is learning how to believe new things of yourself, challenging all the old thoughts and beliefs. That is such an important part of self-care. It is the relationship that you have with your mind. It’s talking to yourself more than you listen.

 

It is one of the quotes that I learned from a triathlon runner. I can’t remember his name, but it was such a powerful quote. Someone had asked him, how do you do it? And he just said, I talk to myself more than I listen. And this is just an important part of becoming aware of those thoughts that you have, those limiting thoughts, limiting beliefs around your capabilities, what you can do, right. I think one of the most limiting beliefs that we have is because I’ve struggled with losing weight that means I can’t lose weight. And I tell you my love, it’s just not the truth. It’s just an old limiting belief. And so part of this care for yourself is becoming aware of those old thoughts and patterns that are just circling around in your brain. And then telling yourself, talking to yourself, understanding that you get to think whatever you want to think, and you get to believe whatever you want to believe. You can challenge old thoughts and beliefs.

 

And number three of self-care is doing the hard work of growing and learning. I think that this is an important part of self-care because I love rest. I love taking care of myself. And part of it is growing and learning and being uncomfortable, and taking full accountability and ownership of my choices, my decisions, where I’m at. And it’s so important. And I think of this as self-care because we as humans, I believe have this purpose, all of us.

 

And there’s this quote by Mark Twain that I just love, and it’s one of my favorite quotes is, “Two important days in your life. The day that you’re born and the day that you find out why.” I love this because as humans, I believe we have this purpose. We have this reason why we’re here, and it’s so different for all of us. And when we find out why, going towards it. And that involves learning and growing and getting uncomfortable, challenging ourselves, and to never stop dreaming. It’s such an important part of us. My love you are so worth dreaming and having your own dreams and deciding the things that you like to do, that you like to create, that you like to curate in this world.

 

You are important and you matter. You, yes, as you’re listening to this, you. I’m not talking to anyone else. I am talking to you. You are worth this work of growing and learning and failing and having these amazing dreams and these impossible goals and doing whatever it is that you want to do to achieve them, to even just work towards them. My love, as we get older, we think about retirement. We think about the end. We think about those things, and there are thoughts that are going to come in, but I don’t want you to forget about the dreaming part.

 

 You know, when we’re little kids, we dream and we have these dreams. And then as we become adults, we stopped dreaming. And I know that for so many of you, you might be like, Shannan, I don’t know. I have no idea. I don’t know how to dream. I don’t know even what I want to do. I don’t know what my purpose is. And if you’re a Transform Boss, part of the self-care modules, we’ll walk through an exercise to help you. But if you’re not in Transform Boss, you just start by asking yourself, what do I like to do?

 

You know, I think that that’s the most important, first question. What is it that I even like? What is it that I even like to do? Like, do I like walking? Do I like being out in nature? Do I like doing crafts? Do I like speaking? Do I like serving others? What do I like to do? And just start with that question my love. Because when you start to dream again, and when you start to turn that back on in your brain, it’s just part of this care for yourself. Because you matter. See, self-care comes, or the opposite of self-care when we stop caring for ourselves is because we become these robots of to-do lists. And I just want more for you.

 

I want you to achieve whatever the dreams or the goals, and I want you not because there’s any reward at the end of the tunnel or whatever it is, right. It’s just about who you’re becoming in this process. It’s about challenging yourself and just like becoming unstoppable. The definition of self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health. I think of this as body health, mental health, and spiritual health. And it goes back to the three ways in which I believe self-care is. The body basics, developing the relationship that you have with yourself, and doing this work of growing and learning. My love, we get this one beautiful life, this one beautiful body, and this one beautiful mind. How are you going to show up for it? How are you going to take care of it?

 

The transformational questions are what is one action you can take towards self-care? Two, why is self-care important for you? And back to what started this whole episode – take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live. So good my love. So if you have not taken my free course, it’ll get you started in my fundamentals of losing weight for the very last time. You can go to freebosscourse.com. And join me in our eight weeks of lives with Shannan, how to get off the diet roller coaster for good. And you can do that by following me on social. So go to facebook.com/bflycoaching. All right my love, I’ll see you next week.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep#138: The Transform Boss Coaches Take Over

Ep 138: The Transform Bosses Take Over!

Join us in this very special episode where our coaches have taken over the Podcast.

Coach Jenn and Coach Dawn will be talking to us this episode on a few topics that pop up a lot in women’s weight loss journeys.

They will share their insight and the things that have helped them the most.

They will be diving deep into topics such as diet brain or diet mentality, failures, self-love, and changing your mindset.

They will teach you how to believe you are worthy, how you have always been worthy.

How our failures only lead to our success.

How changing your mindset can not only help you in your weight loss journey but in ALL areas of your life, including relationships.

We have hundreds of hours of teaching, tools, and tips so that you can lose weight for the last time. We organize them in a way so you can do a little at a time, so you don’t feel overwhelmed. We are opening on June 14th for 5 days.  Mark it on your calendar because you do not want to miss it! 

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • We have the answers within us, the power is in us, to lose weight for good
  • How to stop fearing failure
  • How self-love improves our relationship with everyone else in our lives
  • The only person we can control is ourselves

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals here
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • We are opening in June for 5 days!

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with coach Dawn Richards and coach Jenn Taylor. This is episode 138. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host.

 

Coach Dawn and I took over the podcast this week. Yeah. We just wanted to this week talk about some of the most common topics or misconceptions that we have seen kind of pop up on women’s weight loss journeys. My name is Jenn Taylor and I am one of the Transform Weight Loss coaches here. And I am just so excited to be spending tonight with Dawn recording this podcast. You ladies will see. She’s just so amazing and so insightful. Dawn, anything you want to add on, I’m just so excited to be here. I think this will just be so much fun. We just get to share a little bit of ourselves with you tonight. It’s just really fun to do. Yeah.

 

So the first topic that we wanted to talk about was, you know, oftentimes we think that everybody else has the answers. That we need to go and find the right diet, find the right trainer, because they have the answers to help us lose this weight for good, and get this body, the certain body type that we want. And when I think back on, you know, my weight loss journey over the years, the many years, every diet that I have been on, the person or the diet itself has told me what to eat, what not to eat. How much or how little to eat. Times of the day that I needed to eat. How many calories, how many points. The list goes on. Ladies, you know this, you’ve experienced this, I’m sure. I just always thought that if I could find this right diet, my thought that I had was I just haven’t found the right one yet.

 

But if I find the right diet then or the right trainer, then I can finally get to the certain weight that I had in mind. And through this work in Transform, I just have really come to learn that each of us have the answers within us. We all have all along. We keep searching for new diets because they’re not working. We’ve failed, we’ve given up, whatever. But the truth of it is, is that we don’t need anybody else to give us the answers. When we give up our power and we look to others for the answers and go away from ourselves, we get stuck in this victim mentality, right? And it creates almost this feeling of hopelessness within us. Dawn, do you agree? Like that’s kind of how you felt about looking for answers with others?

 

Yes, I’ve really felt that way a lot. But the thing is, is our society has almost done this to us because we’re always bombarded with all of these like diet things. Lose your weight this fast, 20 pounds in 20 days. Right. And they’re like, just follow this program, you know? And it sounds so good. But the thing is, is we know, we know before we even started, it’s not true. And we just give our power to this diet and we just think it’s going to be this answer for us. And it’s not. It never is. The answer is always within us.

 

We know intuitively how to eat. We know intuitively what is good for us. We just need to tell ourselves the truth and come back to ourselves and do what’s best for us. It’s almost like you’re giving somebody else total control of your life. It’s like, I’m going to give you all the control, and I don’t want anything. And no wonder we feel like a victim because we’ve just given all of our power to somebody else.

 

And if we’ll just come back to ourselves and realize that we have all the answers for ourselves, it’s very, almost freeing. It really is. When you realize that you can eat anything you want and that you can listen to your body and that you have your answers, then you have freedom. Yeah. And truly, I love that you said that because it is such like a freedom, and just, I think of it too, as empowering, right? And our body is already giving us the cues. We just haven’t been paying attention to it. We’ve been so disconnected because we thought that the answers were somewhere else. But we’ve had them all along.

 

When I think back to diets, I think if there is a way that I have to eat that doesn’t feel like I can maintain it for the rest of my life. Like you said, before we even start, we know it’s not going to last. Being able to just reconnect with our bodies and listen to the answers that are already within us, just gives us our power back. And it helps us lose the weight for the last time in a way that we can do forever. Love that.

 

The next topic that we wanted to talk about is failures. When I think back to me pre-Transform, I was just this all or nothing girl. I had to follow my diet plan, follow my workout plan, whatever it was, exactly. And the moment that I stopped doing it, I missed a day or I overate, I went into this beat down. I would sit and thought loop on, well, of course you did this, right? Like you aren’t going to have success. You’ve always failed in the past. And telling myself just these crazy thoughts that of course are just going to push me lower and lower and not have any belief in myself.

 

And truly when I think of failure now, I think it begins with making commitments to ourselves, following through with those commitments, right, that creates this feeling of success. When we create this commitment, we follow through. And then when I have a slip-up, because that’s the thing, ladies, we are, we’re going to have failures along the way or slip ups or overeats, whatever it is. But now I just don’t make it mean anything about me. Right? I just reflect on what happened.

 

Why did that incident happen? What can I do differently moving forward and move on. And of course I’m human. I still have the times, right, where I have a minute of beat down, but then I quickly pick myself up and I remind myself like, no, this is just part of the journey. Dawn, when you think about failures pre-Transform to now, what do you think? What comes up for you?

 

Well, the biggest thing is, is that pre-Transform, I did, I just beat myself up. But I also developed this fear of like failing. Now I have to say, though, if I failed at work, it wasn’t a big deal. I was like, oh yeah, I’ll just do it again tomorrow. Or I’ll redo this. And I wasn’t that way. It was truly only in this diet mentality that I would fail. Like I would start a diet and I knew I was going to fail at it. Like, it was the hardest thing. I can’t eat boiled eggs for like five days in a row. Come on. You know what I mean?

 

I’d set myself up for failure and then I would fear it, you know? And I’d be afraid of failure. I failed so many times, I stopped believing in myself. That’s the one thing is that I just stopped. I was like, Nope, no more dieting. I’m not even going to do that anymore because I don’t want to fail one more time.

 

And it becomes this huge, like breaking point in my life. But the thing is, is coming into Transform, we take teeny tiny steps and you learn to commit to yourself and come back to yourself. So it’s not this like all or nothing mentality. It’s one little step, one little step. We’re gonna up level one little thing. And those little, teeny tiny actions lead to success. And so then you don’t fear failure so much because you’re just taking one little move forward. I used to beat myself up terribly, and I did a lot of coaching around fear of failure because I was afraid of failing. The thing is, is now I don’t look at it that way. It’s just one way I found that it doesn’t work for me, and I’m going back and I’m just going to start again until I figure it out.

 

I truly have just changed my mindset completely around failure and realize like, okay, not going to do that. Let’s go back again. Because if I failed once I fail a thousand times, and that’s just what life is. Because every time I fail, I just get a little bit better. And I’ve had to find that love and grace for myself though, and it’s taken a lot.

 

Yeah. I love that so much. I think too, the most successful people, they will tell you, they have had failure after failure after failure, and that is what leads them to the success. When you were talking, it popped in my head that oftentimes right, we, the stories that we create, you talked about this fear of failure, the stories that we create, like we can actually visualize what is going to happen when this failure happens and how embarrassing, we can even feel it, right? When I think of like those certain types of situations, and ladies, we’re just creating these situations for ourselves that are false. 90% of them are not even going to happen. And we were creating these emotions that are just keeping us from becoming our best self is really all it’s doing, it’s just keeping us stuck.

 

Our next topic that we wanted to talk about was self-worth. This is a huge topic for me. Before I came to Transform, I truly believed that I wasn’t worthy of living my best life. I wasn’t worthy of living in a body that I loved. That my body was broken. That I wasn’t enough. You know, the thing is, is that I really did believe those things about myself, and I created this life around those things and I truly thought I was second best. I compared myself to everybody and that I always found that I wasn’t good enough. And I truly believed even in my work, you know, I wasn’t even as good as my sister and my mom. And I just created all of these things.

 

But what I’ve found about self-worth and what we teach in Transform is that really these are just lies. These are just lies that we tell ourselves to keep ourselves stuck, to keep ourselves living in fear. And so that we don’t move forward. Really Lizzie, we call our lizard brain Lizzie, you’ve heard us talk about it. She’s just trying to keep us safe.

 

We’re making changes in our life. We’re moving forward and she’ll just pop up and say, oh, by the way, you’re not enough to do this, you might as well quit. And the thing is, is self-worth, Jenn’s going to talk about this in a minute, but we are born worthy. We are born a hundred percent worthy. We don’t have to prove it. We don’t have to do anything to get it. Okay. It is a lie we tell ourselves, and it’s taken me a long time to realize that.

 

It didn’t take one day. It took a lot of mindset work to make me realize I am worthy of my love. And I’m worthy of love from anywhere I want it to come from, but I’m worthy of my love. And that took a long time for me to say and mean. But that’s the thing is I wanted everyone else to love me so that I could prove that I love myself. But that’s the thing is that I needed to love myself first, and through this work I’ve learned self-love and it has changed everything.

 

So Jenn, tell us a little bit about your self-worth journey. Dawn, that’s so good. Yeah. I thought a hundred percent for me, I sorta saw a lot of perfectionism showing up that I had to be everything for everyone. And to be honest, when I think back, it’s just exhausting to think about, right. I needed to show up for my kids, for my husband to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect sister, friend, daughter, all the things right. As women, we play a lot of different roles. And I thought that I had to be everything for everyone.

 

Like you said, Dawn, so that they would love me so that I could love myself and truly, and I thought, you know, if I could show up that way, then I would be worthy. Right? If I was the perfect mom. What is perfect? Perfect doesn’t, mean, I just, we giggle because now everybody has, first of all, their own definition of perfect. And there is just no such thing. Now I know that like Dawn said, I was born worthy just like each of you. We don’t earn our worth. We are just born worthy and nothing that we do can remove our worth or lessen our worth. That’s not how it works.

 

I think there’s just such freedom in knowing that. And along with Dawn, it took me a long time to be okay saying out loud that I loved myself or that I was beginning to love myself because for so long, I thought that that meant that I was being selfish. And that’s actually the opposite. Because when I wasn’t loving myself and I was trying to do all the things for everybody else, I was showing up with resentment and bitterness, and felt like I was missing a piece of me.

 

And I think, you know, along with this, just knowing that you’re not alone, like I think Dawn probably can agree to this, when we are coaching, a lot of the coaching, including our own, comes down to worth, like bottom line. And so, when you can begin to just show yourself this love and begin to believe that you were born worthy, it changes everything.

 

Our next topic is actually the thought work and the mindset change. This part of Transform is different than any other weight loss program that I’ve seen. We truly believe that losing weight is an inside job. We believe that changing your mindset is the way to lose weight and really learning to love yourself. We just talked about self-love a little bit and feeling worthy. The thing is, is when you love something, you pay attention to it. You want what is best for it. And you do whatever it takes to get that for the things that we love.

 

I mean, think about your children. Think about your spouse. Think about dear friends. We love them. We pay attention to them. And that’s what we do when we learn to love ourselves. And what we’ve done in Transform as we work on your mindset, like what thoughts are going through your head every day? And the biggest thing seriously, and I remember this moment, I think it was during a Facebook live and Shannan just came out and she says, the thoughts that roll through your head are not always true. They’re false, that your Lizzie lies to you. You know? So when you say I’m not enough, I’m not worthy, I’m broken, and that’s Lizzie lying to you. She’s trying to keep you stuck.

 

She’s trying to keep you safe. Right? And what I do is when she comes in, she says that, I just say, Hey, I hear you Lizzie, but you know what? It’s not true. And we don’t have to believe that anymore. And I choose to believe something different about me. And that is how we start transforming our mind is we start noticing what thoughts are in our head, then we start challenging them and questioning them in a loving kind and caring way, and then we change them.

 

We reframe them so that they serve us. Because being broken doesn’t serve me, and it’s not true. And I want to live in a life where I tell myself the truth every day. And I act in a way that serves me. So the thought work piece is just the most amazing piece because you get to create from your thoughts, you have feelings and then you have actions and you get to create a life that you love.

 

Jenn, what has been the biggest piece of thought work and mindset work that has helped you? Well, that’s a loaded question. It’s a big question. It’s a big question. I think thought work in general, like I remember hearing that too, that just because you have a thought doesn’t make it true, and your brain wants to explode, because I think a lot of us think you’re dealt with your thoughts and deal with it, right? This is who you’re going to be. And this is what you’re going to think.

 

Recently, we just came back from Unstoppable Live and we really focused on relationships, all sorts of relationships. And for me, this thought work around relationships with my husband, just to point out one, of course I have like multiple examples, but with my husband, I think throughout our marriage, I’ve had different times where I thought, you know, why isn’t he showing up this way?

 

Why would he respond that way? Why isn’t he reacting a different way? Right. I had all these different manuals for him of how he was supposed to show up. It created the multiple feelings, right? Depending on the thought, of sadness of resentment of frustration. And I’m sure he’s felt the same for me. But through this work, when we really focused on relationships at Unstoppable, what we focus on is going to grow. So if I want to focus on, you know, how my husband didn’t take out the trash or he didn’t put the clothes in the laundry basket, whatever it might be, then that’s going to create a feeling for me of frustration and annoyance. And then my actions are going to be one way from that.

 

Or I get to focus on this amazing father that my boys have, this incredible loving husband that I get to have, and my feeling from that is just love. Like I love this man. And the way that I’m going to show up when I feel love is completely different than resentment and anger and frustration. And so I just think, of course, you know, Dawn and I have been doing this for a little bit, it takes time. This isn’t something that you just do once and it’s fixed. We still do the work every day. Every day. This is a lifelong journey. But knowing that I think the more that you do it, you really begin to come into awareness of when it’s happening.

 

Thoughts that you don’t, that aren’t serving you. And then you just like Dawn had said, you just say, okay, that’s not the truth. This is what we want to believe instead. And you shine a light on those thoughts instead of pushing away from them and trying to hide them. You just remind Lizzie these aren’t what we’re going to focus on today and believe.

 

We’re going to think this instead and you move forward and you just get to show up in life. I have like chills right now, thinking of the difference, because this work is life-changing. Thought work is life-changing And it hasn’t just been in my weight loss journey either. Like Jenn says, we do relationship works. Our whole month this month is relationships. And we’ve talked too, Jenn talked earlier about the manual. Like we all carry what we call these manuals or these books or these stories that we tell about how our partners, friends, neighbors, everyone should act, our children, right? You know, the thing is, is that one of our biggest things that we learned about relationships is the only person we can control is ourselves.

 

No matter how much we want someone to act a certain way, we can’t do it. And we talk about this a lot in Transform. And we talk about that, how that we can come back to ourselves and the only person we can truly control is ourselves, and the relationship with ourselves. And this has seriously been the greatest work of my life is learning about truly how I think about myself and learning how to change that. And it’s just been amazing.

 

So this month coming up, we have a couple of different things in June. Actually, we are opening. So if anyone is interested in joining Transform, this is where we make weight loss fun and get to know lots of women. And ladies, if you’re not part of Transform Boss, then take the free course now, along with listening to these podcasts, because both of those are great. You’re going to learn amazing tools that you can start using today. You don’t have to wait, right, until you join. You can start doing the work now. Go to the free course. You just go to freebosscourse.com. And yes, this work really, truly is life-changing and learning how to get your voice back and how to just choose what you want out of life.

 

All right, ladies, Thank you for letting us spend a little bit of time with you today. Shannan will be back next week. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep 137: Quick Hit on Last Suppering and How You Talk to Yourself

Ep 137: Quick Hit on Last Suppering and How You Talk to Yourself

In this episode, I am going to share an inside peek into Transform Boss Weight Loss. In Transform Boss, we have coaching, a transformative weight loss course, lots of tools and tips, and of course our community is unlike any community you have ever been a part of. Full of love and support.

 You will get a glimpse of all the bonuses my ladies get for them to achieve success.

I will also share 2 of my Quick Hits – small bite size teachings that we put out every week in Transform Boss Weight Loss.

We have hundreds of hours of teaching, tools, and tips so that you can lose weight for the last time. We organize them in a way so you can do a little at a time, so you don’t feel overwhelmed. We are opening on June 14th for 5 days.  Mark it on your calendar because you do not want to miss it! 

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How to quit “starting over” on Monday
  • How talking to yourself in a kind way with love is key to your success
  • Tips and tools I teach my clients so you can lose weight for the last time

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals here
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • We are opening June 14th for 5 days!

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 137. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. I’m so happy to back with you. In today’s episode, I’m going to share an inside peek into Transform Boss Weight Loss. That’s what I’m going to do today. In Transform Boss it is everything. We have coaching, a transformative weight loss course, lots of tools, tips, and of course our community is unlike any community that you’ve ever been a part of. It’s full of love, support, no judgment. Ladies who understand what it’s like to carry extra weight, to be a woman, to do everything for all the other humans, to feel overwhelmed. And this community is just, it’s amazing. I’m so proud of it. And I love my Bosses. We also have tons of bonuses and bonus content. I love to over deliver. I am invested in my Bosses. I want them to have success. I want them to reach all their dreams and goals.

So today is just a small glimpse into the bonuses that when you come into Transform Boss they are there for you. So when you join Transform Boss, all of our replays, bonuses, all of our bonus content, I mean hundreds and hundreds of hours of content is right there for you. So today I’m going to share two of our Quick Hits. These are small bite sized teachings that we put out every week in Transform Boss Weight Loss. Do you struggle starting over on Mondays or maybe you beat yourself up? I mean, sometimes the way that we talk to ourselves is unlike any way that we would talk to anyone else. I struggled with both of these for most of my life. And these two Quick Hits are going to help you. So enjoy my love.

This first Quick Hit is on last suppering. You know, eating all the things because you’re going to start again on Monday. We have so much diet trauma from restricting and then bingeing. Here we go. Hello ladies. Okay. So Monday’s Quick Hit video, so excited. So today I want to do just a Quick Hit on last suppering, because it’s Monday, and we just got off of a holiday weekend, and what I used to do and what I think most of us have done is this kind of all or nothing, in or out, good or bad.

Because we’ve been on diets for so long, our brain loves to settle in there, about you should eat this, and if you eat this you’re bad. If you go off plan you’re bad. If you don’t make a realistic plan you’re bad. And what I want you to do today, however this weekend, maybe it was amazing, and maybe it wasn’t, maybe you had some challenges, is today you just get to do the next best thing. You get to eat on plan or make your realistic plan. Tonight you can do it for tomorrow. And I say this because last suppering is such disordered eating. It is old diet mentality, where you’re just eating all the things, everything that you can’t have tomorrow.

And what happens when you do that, when you start tomorrow after the holiday, or you know what, whatever it is, on Monday, on Wednesday, whatever, after the event, what happens is your brain that’s a habit for you. It’s just a habit. I’m going to do this last suppering where I’m eating all the things, because you have this really faulty thought, I can’t have that tomorrow. I can’t have that on Thursday. And what I want to offer you is you can. And if you ate all the things over the weekend, what I don’t want you to do is to go to this really restrictive regime starting today, or starting tomorrow where you’re good. So you’re not good or bad. You’re good and bad. You’re wonderful, and you know, challenged, right?

Everything is an and, nothing is an or. And why this is so important my love it’s so important to remember this, because who you are and what you eat, they have nothing to do with each other. Who you are is kind and beautiful, and you know, faulty, you know, all the things we are humans and all of those things.

And if we eat or we don’t eat, doesn’t make us good or bad. If you eat something healthy, it doesn’t make you a good person. Or if you eat something not healthy, again, I don’t know what healthy is, but your version of healthy doesn’t make you a bad person. And I just say this because we have so many of those faulty thoughts just lingering in our brains. And then what happens is we eat more than what we wanted to. And so then we tell ourselves that we’re bad. And then we tell ourselves that I’m going to be good tomorrow. And by good, I’m going to restrict. Then what happens is you’re in this neverending cycle of overeat, restrict, overeat, restrict.

What I want to do, and what I’m trying to do with you is to really change that to really, you know, this kind of disordered eating is really what it is. And it’s either this eating all the things or restricting. And I just want you to one, if you’re having those thoughts, just become aware of them. Okay, you don’t need to beat yourself up. And then I just want you to replace it with a one better thought, right? So this is a ladder, right? You don’t need to go to rosie posie, rainbows, and sunshine. Just one better. Instead of I ate all the things, I’m failing, it could be I’m learning how to eat over holiday weekends. I’m learning how to enjoy food without overeating, right? Just a one better thought.

So tomorrow or even tonight, depending on what time zone you’re in, just make your plan and just make it realistic. If you’ve eaten all the things, you’re not going to go to no things today, you’re just going to like eat. You’re going to make your plan. And you’re going to choose and decide what you want to eat. And you’re going to put some of those things on there, because this is the most important part. When you up-level slowly, you will have more success. If you keep doing this all in, all out, all in, all out, it’s just, you’re on the diet roller coaster. And I don’t want that for you.

And so, if you find that you were last suppering, all you have to do today, doesn’t matter, ask yourself, become aware of it, become aware of those thoughts that are causing it. And then just decide, okay, tomorrow, I’m going to make my plan. I’m going to make it realistic. And then just move on my loves, and practice new thoughts around what you’re learning. Last suppering, eating all the things, bingeing, restricting all the things, nothing, because what happens is I think during holidays, events, parties, because there have been so many times in our lives that we haven’t been able to eat those things because we chose not to, but we were on some diet, our brain it just really is like, it almost hurts our brain to have allowance and to say, yeah, you know what?

July 4th, we’re going to have a s’more, right. We’re camping. We’re going to have a s’more. And you eat a s’more and you check in with your body and you see like, Hey, am I approaching satiated? Am I approaching full? Like, where am I at? Right? Because I can have whatever I want to eat. And I’m telling you having allowance without these thoughts of I’m never going to eat this again, I can’t have this tomorrow, that is resistance and restriction, and it will just keep you stuck on the diet roller coaster. Ah, I don’t want that for any of you.

Okay my loves. So all you gotta do is one simple thing. Make your realistic plan for tomorrow, simple, and make it realistic. And find a one better thought than the beat down and the last suppering and all those. A one better thought. Just one level up, that’s it. All right my loves. Ooh ladies, I know, I love that Quick Hit. I really struggled with that for most of my life. And now it’s such freedom to know that I never have to start over.

This next Quick Hit is about how we tolerate putting ourselves down, talking to ourselves in a way that does not serve us. It keeps us stuck believing that we can’t lose weight. That we’ll fail again. You don’t want to miss this inside track to Transform Boss Weight Loss. Hello beautiful ladies. So welcome to today’s Quick Hit. And today is all about just how we talk to ourselves, and deciding on purpose that we are going to talk to ourselves more than we listen. And then the second part of that is really deciding on purpose to stop beating yourself up.

I think we live in this sort of, I don’t know, judgment of ourselves, and we have talked to ourselves in a way that is detrimental, right? And we’ve done it for so long that we don’t even recognize it. And we do it in tricky little ways. And we tell ourselves all sorts of things. You know, we look in the mirror like, oh, look those wrinkles, oh, look at this, oh, this isn’t, you know, we don’t even look in the mirror, right. We dropped something on the floor, we’re like, why are you so dumb? These are just these old records that are playing in the back of our brain. It really does, I think over time, it keeps us so disconnected from our authentic self.

One of the things when I, you know, really got into this work and started, you know, my process and just deciding, like making this decision that I wasn’t going to beat myself up anymore, making that decision, it was a really pivotal moment that when those thoughts came in, that I would acknowledge it, meaning just saying, it’s not what we believe anymore.

Right. And talking back to myself, telling those old program thoughts we don’t believe that anymore. And you know, ladies, I think sometimes in this work we make it really complicated, and you know, we want to, you know, get to the root of everything and we want everything to change. And I find that it’s just every day throughout the day, and just when certain thoughts come in, or when you notice that you want to overeat or you want to eat off plan, or you notice that you’re feeling some negative emotion, just taking a deep breath, becoming aware, challenging the thoughts, and really talking to yourself more than you listen. It’s some of the best advice I think.

And as I, you know I’m always researching and listening and reading, and when I look at really people who have done extraordinary things, there is always this layer of how they speak to themselves, how they talk to themselves way more than they listen. Those thoughts are always going to be there about not doing the thing, about staying in bed, you know, whatever it is, they just don’t listen. They just talk to themselves like, yeah, I hear ya, but we’re going to do this, or I hear ya, but we don’t believe that anymore. And it suggests this everyday practice. You don’t have to be perfect at it. All you have to do is when you notice it, become aware, take a breath and then tell yourself not today Lizzie, not today.

So one, become aware of how you’re speaking to yourself. How you’re thinking about yourself, because that’s really what it is. When these thoughts come in, at some point in your brain, you believe it. And so it’s deciding to not believe it anymore. You can believe whatever you want, and why not believe that you are just the most beautiful, capable, amazing human. It’s a good belief. You are. You are. You should believe that. Believe that because the other stuff, look, what does it do for you? Nothing. Just brings you down and it doesn’t help you achieve your goals, and it doesn’t help move you forward. It’s just nonsense. It’s nonsense. It’s old puddle thoughts.

So one, again, decide what you want to think and believe about yourself. Become aware. And then two, talk to yourself more than you listen. So easy. Yeah. I know every day you just get an opportunity to do it every single day. How cool is that? I think it’s pretty cool. So this was just a small sneak peek into Transform Boss Weight Loss. This was just two of our Quick Hits. They come out every single week in Transform Boss Weight Loss. We have hundreds of hundreds of hours of teaching, tools, and tips so that you can lose weight for the very last time. We organize them in a way so you can do a little at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed.

We’re opening on June 14th, mark it down my love, for five days. You do not want to miss it. All right my love, bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

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Ep #136: Popular Weight Loss Questions Answered

Ep #136: Popular Weight Loss Questions Answered

You will not want to miss this very special episode. I will be doing a Q&A and answering some of the most common questions I get from my ladies.

Questions around snacking – all the different kinds of snacking. Why we do it, and what to do about it.

I will teach you some brain hacks that will help you lose weight for the last time.

Also questions around making your realistic plan if you also have medical issues.

I will give you tips on things like deprivation, plateaus, portion sizes, how to reconnect to your body.

We always seem to want to make it more confusing that it really is.

You do not have to be afraid of stepping into your new identity.

It’s really just as easy as loving yourself. Are you ready to learn how?

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • Just because you have a thought doesn’t make it true
  • Becoming the scientist of your body leads to weight loss, even if you have medical issues
  • How getting curious leads to weight loss success
  • How loving yourself is key to it all

If you are not a Transform Boss, we will be opening again in June, and we will be kicking it off with a challenge. So watch your email! Also take my free course – go to freebosscourse.com. This will give you an introduction and a workbook to get you started on losing weight for the very last time. 

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals here
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • Listen to prior podcast episodes on some of these subjects covered – Ep #9 (Becoming the Scientist of Your Body), #107 (What to Eat and How to Reconnect to Your Body 2.0), and #111 (Mourning the Loss of Your Overweight Identity)

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the weight loss for successful women podcast with Shannon and Christiansen episode number 136. Welcome to weight loss for successful women. A podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host fortune 100 executive and certified life coach Shannon Christiansen. Hello, love so happy to Zack with you.

 

I am so excited as I record this episode. It’s the end of April. I’m getting ready for unstoppable live. I actually just tried on all my outfits. I did. I had to pick, I have quite a few and I had to pick kind of which ones I want to wear. I like to do a couple outfit changes during unstoppable live,

 

and I think I got them. I’m feeling good. Ooh, we have just been nailing down all the details and I just can’t wait to see all of the beautiful bosses that are going to attend unstoppable live and watch them show up for themselves and change their own lives. I mean, we have ladies right now who have flown into Phoenix are getting ready to fly into Phoenix.

 

We have all our virtual ladies. I have some of my virtual ladies who even got a hotel room like this is their time. And I’m just so proud of each and every one of them. And you know, ladies, if you are not a transformed boss, I want to tell you if you’re not in my membership program, we are going to open in June and we always kick it off with a challenge.

 

So, watch your email. If you’re not on my email list, take my free course and you’ll get on the email list, but you want to make sure the challenges are so fun. We’re only doing three this year. We did one in February. We’re going to do one in June and then more one towards the back end of the year, I think in October.

 

So, you, for sure want to get into that challenge. It’s super fun. And we open, we open the doors, we’re going to open them for five days. You want to be ready? You want to be ready. So, when we open you’re in, because transform boss weight loss is the most amazing membership. Ladies are changing their lives of their weight.

 

They’re losing weight. They’re having better relationships, changing careers. I mean, it is amazing to watch women show up for themselves and learn how to lose weight in a way that they can always do without all the pressure eating foods that they enjoy, not making separate meals for their families. I mean, I could go on and on and you don’t want to miss out.

 

So put it on your calendar June, watch your email for all the information. And you know, of course listen to the podcast because you know, I’ll, I’ll talk more about it as we get closer to it because ladies, this is the thing. When you listen to this show, we are going to be in May, May of 2022. Time just goes,

 

my love. It just goes so fast. And I want you to live your best life in a body that you love. That feels good. That feels like freedom. And I know that I’m a master at it and I coach and teach my women how to lose weight. And so you don’t want to miss out. You don’t want to keep putting yourself off thinking when you have time,

 

because this is the thing. Life is busy. If we keep pushing ourselves off, you keep waiting for the right time. My love before you know it, you’re going to wake up and it’s going to be 2042. And I mean that in all the way. So, mark it on your calendar and I can’t wait. And you know, if you haven’t taken my free course,

 

you for sure want to do that. That’ll get you on my email list too. It’s freebosscourse.com. So, today’s a special episode. I am going to do a Q and A, and these are questions that I get from my ladies. My bosses also too, from some ladies who are not in the membership who just email our support box. So, I can’t wait.

 

This is going to be again, a very special kind of Q and A episode. So the first question that I get a lot a ton is how do I stop snacking? And you know whether this is late night eating or weekend eating or snacking throughout the day, you know, it’s just kind of like eating little bits of food throughout the day.

 

There are a few reasons why we snack. And the first reason is its habits. It’s this habit that we had. So, it was before I started really losing my weight. And in the beginning, I still kind of struggled with this I every day at 2:00 PM, I would go to the pantry, and I would need a snack. My, I mean,

 

my brain was like, you need to eat a snack. And it was a habit that I had created and what it was, was a release. It was a little dopamine hit. I wanted, you know, the pressure from my day at work and all the emotions. And so it was like my quote unquote treat. And over time it just became a habit.

 

I also did this at night. I had a late night, you know, snack at the end of my day when I was unwinding from the day watching some TV, you know, it was things from ice cream to peanut m&ms, to sugar cookies, all sorts of things. And it was just a way to, again, disconnect, buffer. And I would tell myself,

 

but it was a tree that I deserved it that I worked so hard. And you just have to watch your thoughts about it and why, and ask yourself, why, why am I doing this? Is it from the emotions of the day? Is this just a habit that I’ve created? And I want to say this, because this is something I learned a long time ago.

 

Snacking is always emotional eating. It is rarely, rarely is it because you’re physically hungry. It is because you want that little bit of dopamine and it’s a way for you to disconnect. And so, to stop snacking, the first part is just becoming aware. Is it when you are triggered, meaning, you know, hey, you know, you come home and it’s during the transition of the day,

 

right? You’ve had this day, you’re getting the kids, you’re making dinner, you’re doing all this stuff. And then suddenly you find yourself snacking. Is it every night at the end of the night, when you’re watching TV, is it in the middle of the day? You just need to start to become aware of when then you’re going to ask yourself, why is it emotions, right? Are you trying to push away emotions? And then you’re just going to stop, take a deep breath and disrupt the thought by counting back from 30. Now every time I share this, especially if you’re a new to me, you’re like, what? But you want to disrupt the habit? You want to disrupt the thought.

 

So when you stop, you disrupt the thought by counting back from 30, and then you’re going to breathe again. You will be amazed at how it disrupts this pattern of, I want to, you know, reach for something somewhere. You created a habit, or it became this, you know, thing for you to disconnect from your emotions. And so, the quickest advice for all my bosses,

 

I go way deeper in this, in our course. Cause there’s several different techniques. But for all my ladies who are not in Transform Boss, the best quickest way that I can tell you how to stop snacking is one become aware of it. To understand that, ask yourself why what’s the triggers. And then three, use this technique SDB, stop, disrupt, and breathe. And by counting back from 30, what you’re doing, it’s, it’s really a brain hack. You are disrupting the thought, the urge, the need to run and eat again, stop, disrupt, and breathe. If you are one of my bosses, there’s a whole other part about feeling your feelings, but that’s in the weight loss course.

 

So, get in there and listen to that. And because it’s really, as you progress in this work, as you learn how to reconnect with yourself, you’re going to want to learn how to feel your feelings. Because remember snacking, it’s an emotional event, mostly it’s because we’re pushing down our feelings and we don’t want to feel them. We don’t want to feel frustrated, tired, sad, depressed anxiety. Maybe we don’t want to feel any of that. So, we just push it down and we do with positive emotion too. So good. Okay. Number two.

What advice do you find to be the most helpful for yourself? You know, my love, if I look back at my whole journey, my whole life,I want to give you three things that have been the most helpful for me. One, just because I have a thought a sentence in my brain does not make it true or mean that I have to believe it or take action from it. This work reflection, work, learning how to change your mindset. It is so powerful. The mind controls everything.

 

Your thoughts and beliefs are everything. The reason why you have the outcomes and the results in your life is because of your thoughts. And I tell you loves, we think it’s all the other things, right? We think it’s because of something or because of our family or you know, our life, or we were just dealt these cards or our metabolism. I mean all the things. And I’m here to tell you, I have done this work. I have done this research. I’ve done it on myself, hundreds of ladies. And this is it. Your mindset, your thoughts, your beliefs. It is everything. And when you decide that you can believe something different, and you start to do the work that I teach the thought cycle telling you loves everything will change.

 

And just because you have a thought, just because you have a belief that you’ve always held on to, like, I can’t lose weight. It’s hard. My body doesn’t work. All those things. I tell you my love. You can start to believe something different. And when you do everything changes to next best action. I love next best action.

 

I teach this in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and the next best action is all about if you eat off plan, if you overeat, if you, you know, don’t keep a commitment, you don’t drink your water. You don’t get enough sleep. You just take the next best action. You don’t beat yourself up. You don’t call yourself a failure.

 

You don’t tell yourself all the nonsense that you can’t do it. You just take the next best action. The next best decision. This is a really amazing solve for perfectionist. And I was a perfectionist. I still struggle with it. And I tell you, ladies, you know, I never wanted to fail. And I had failed so many times at weight loss that I, I just, you know, kind of had wrote it off that I was always going to be my struggle. But what I learned was, you know, what, if I could come into awareness and then just take the next best action. I didn’t need to start over. I didn’t need to be in or out. I didn’t need to go into a full binge.

 

I just needed to take the next best action. My love when you are losing weight, you are going to have failures. You’re going to have overeats. You’re going to have times where you don’t make your realistic plan or you don’t get enough water and, or, you know, you have transitions in your life. You’ll have things where you kind of start disconnecting.

 

As soon as you come into awareness, you don’t need to start over. You don’t need to go through the whole things and do 52 things. You just, in that moment, take the next best action for yourself. It could be making a realistic plan. It could be drinking water, getting more, sleep, writing down a thought. I’m getting all those thoughts out of your brain and thoughts cycle.

 

It could be just taking some deep breaths, your next best action. It’s everything. And if you’re a perfectionist or you’ve been all in or all out, it’s the best way to get you in the middle. And three loving myself is the key to it. All. You know, I’ve done a lot of, I would say punishing myself. I used to punish myself with food. I would eat until I had a belly ache. I have talked to myself in a way that I would never talk to anyone else. And I had a lot of self-loathing and self-hatred I, you know, that I had made a lot of mistakes and would beat myself up for it. And I thought I could be myself. Then I thought I could like those bootcamp folks.

 

You know, if I just could white knuckle it and be on a diet and starve myself, I could lose weight. And this is what I’ve realized. The key to losing weight is through learning how to love the amazing you what that means, because I didn’t know what that meant. It means showing up for yourself. It means, you know, looking yourself in the mirror and seeing the beauty in yourself,

 

it is forgiveness for yourself. And it’s telling yourself the truth. It is holding yourself accountable in a way that is not with judgment, but with love. I tell myself the truth. If I eat off plan or I overeat, I tell myself it’s not because I deserve it. It’s not because my husband brought home donuts. I overate because I overate.

 

I overate because I didn’t want to feel any emotion I overate because it was there. And I gave into the urge. I tell myself the truth. I don’t look to others. I don’t blame others. I don’t name, you know, even the diet industry, all the things. No, I take accountability for all of it. And I tell you my loves when you can take full transparency with yourself, for all ownership, without judgment and beat down, that is loving yourself. And I care for myself. See ladies, we want to get out of our bodies. When I was losing my weight, before I started this journey, I’m on. Now, I want it out of my body. I didn’t like it. I, you know, I remember seeing those pictures where they like, you know, the pictures where they like the thin persons inside of you. Well, I just wanted out of the fat suit I wanted out of it, and I wanted to disconnect. I hated it. Well, my love when you disconnect and you are at war with yourself, you run from it. You for sure don’t take the next best action.

You for sure. Don’t show up for yourself. You just buffer and disconnect and learning how to love yourself is reconnection with yourself. It is caring for yourself because when you love something, you take care of it. When you love something, you don’t want to punish it. You don’t want to, you know, eat until you’re so full that you’re lethargic and you have a stomachache.

 

You don’t want to do that. You don’t want to know, go on some crazy diet and get rid of all the carbs. When your body needs all of it. Your body needs carbs and proteins and fats. Your body needs all the nutrients. You don’t want to do that because you love yourself. Falling in love with yourself, showing up for yourself,

 

full transparency with yourself. I mean, I used to lie to myself all the time. All the time I would blame. I would tell myself it was something else or that I deserved it all the nonsense. But when I could have full transparency with myself, oh my loss, it just opened up everything. Loving yourself. It’s the key to it.

The third question. How do I make my realistic plan without counting my carbs? Because I’m a diabetic. So I always like to say this, of course, my loves. You always want to check with your doctor again. This is part of loving yourself is, you know, going to the doctor and taking care of yourself. But to answer this question within my process is you’re also going to use your body as a guide.

 

You know, how you feel when you’re eating things that make you feel bad, you know, mostly what you eat. What I find is that Lizzie, our lizard brains want to be confused and want to make it complicated and want to make it like, oh, but my Love’s mostly, you know what? You eat mostly. You know how many carbs are in foods and you know how to be the scientist of your own body check in with yourself and your body when you’re eating, do you feel good? And then check in 15 minutes later, are you still feeling good? This is all about becoming the scientist of your own body and watching your thoughts around confusion. Because I tell you my loves, Lizzie likes to keep us confused. And, you know, especially if you have a health diagnosis, I find that we get into this just, oh, poor me, because you don’t want, and I understand that, but this is what it is. And when you can come into acceptance of, okay, I’m a diabetic or I have, Hashimoto’s all the different things, right? There’s a million diagnosis out there. And when you can just come into acceptance of it and then take your power back, take your control back of what you can control, what you can do. And you reconnect with your body. You become unstoppable. Number four, how do you feel less deprived about eating smaller portions sizes as you lose weight? Now, I find that ladies, I watched ladies struggle with this.

My bosses, you know, as they start to lose weight, they’re feeling so great. But then they start to notice that to keep the weight loss, you know, their body, as they check in, it doesn’t need as much. They used to eat, you know, three or four pieces of pizza. And now one or two, they’re feeling full they’re feeling satiated. And this is, again, this is an emotional connection that we have with food.

 

Deprivation comes from this emotional connection that we have with food. It’s this thought that food is our comfort. It’s our friend. It’s our things. It’s so good. We love it. And it’s also about your overweight identity. So I had an overweight identity and there, I have an episode in the podcast. We’ll put it in the show notes for you on that.

 

And I go deeper into this in Transformed Boss Weight Loss, but we have this overweight identity and we’ve connected to it. I had mine for 38 years, you know? And so having this identity of this is who you are. I eat this. I can enjoy whatever food I want. There are so many things around that identity, you know, and there’s many different facets.

 

I mean, right? The funny fat girl, the pretty fat girl, I mean, there’s so many different pieces. And so what happens is, as you start losing weight, you start hitting the ceilings, these beliefs, ceilings of becoming a thinner person of becoming a person who eat salad or veggies more or protein, more who doesn’t eat ice cream every night. And what happens is you have to just recognize that and almost grieve it where you just kind of go through the emotions because there’s some fear for many of you who are listening. Some fear about stepping into this new identity of a person who takes care of themselves, a person who isn’t the, Hey, let’s go out and eat pizza and donuts. And you know,  your friends are like, Hey, don’t you want to come and eat all the things with us. And you’re like, oh, I don’t know. And then you show up and then you don’t and then they ask you all these questions and you start to feel anxious. And my love it’s just about processing that emotion around it, because this is the thing.

 

When you live in a body that feels good. That feels like freedom at a weight at your natural weight, the weight that feels good for you. There is nothing better than that. When you can decide that you can feel any emotion, I tell you, my loves, you really do become so powerful. You become unstoppable because you realize that I can step into my next identity.

 

I can step into the next version of myself as you’re losing weight. That’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to keep stepping into these new versions of yourselves. So grieve the loss of your overweight identity, and then acknowledge the new you acknowledge who you are today. Acknowledge what you’re doing. Feel proud of your successes. Feel the deprivation to it’s just a feeling.

 

You know, sometimes we have this thought that it’s deprivation. And I did a podcast episode, a few episodes ago about this. I can’t have it. And how it’s such a horrible thought. It leads to bingeing. Instead of just saying, I don’t want it, right? Like, there are times where I’m at buffets with family and stuff, and I’m just like,  you know, I don’t want it because I love the feeling of feeling good. I love living in the body that I live in now. And so it’s okay to have that momentary, that deprivation, that feeling and just allowing yourself and then talking to yourself and just saying, oh, you know, I just don’t want that three. Talk to yourself differently.

 

This goes back to, I don’t want this versus I can’t have this. I don’t want this because I don’t want to bellyache. I don’t want 50 extra pounds on my joints and body. So start to talk to yourself more than you. Listen, start to decide the thoughts that you want to think. And you want to believe, remember a belief is just a thought on repeat. So you have all of these beliefs, these beliefs from dieting for so long, I can’t have this. You know, I have to cut out food groups. I have to do all of that. And now you can move into, I can have anything I want. And it’s always been that way. I eat what I want to eat. And if I choose not to eat something, it’s because I don’t want this because my why, the why that I want to live in a smaller body is because I want to feel amazing. I want to play with my grandkids or my kids. I want to wear a bathing suit, whatever your, why is I want to wear what I want to wear. I want to get off medications.

 

There’s so many. I want to just feel healthy. So, when you start to talk to yourself differently, oh my goodness. My love it’s amazing. And that’s how you start to feel less deprived because it remembered the deprivation is just a feeling and it’s caused by your thoughts. So, when you think something different, you’ll feel something different. Okay? So, number five, what do you do when you hit a plateau?

 

One don’t panic. Just keep doing what you’re doing. This is the thing about, wait, wait, ebbs and flows. I think wait, especially for women because we have hormones, we have different cycles. We have lots of things. We are meant to carry fat on our bodies. This is how we’re designed. I know laser is say, but men can lose weight faster. Yeah. Cause they’re built differently than us. And we are made to have more fat on our bodies. And so, weight ebbs and flows. It I’ve seen it anywhere from five to 10 pounds. Don’t panic. Just keep doing what you’re doing. I find that when ladies hit a plateau, then all these old thoughts and all these old beliefs start coming in and then they go and bench my loves.

 

If you’re following my process, right? You’re making your realistic plan. You’re checking in with your body. You’re becoming the scientist of it. You’re getting your water, your sleep. You’re doing a reflection work. Then you don’t need to do anything different. Follow the process. Now, if you’re new to me, take my free course because I’ll introduce you to my fundamentals so that you can learn this process because you never need to vary from it.

 

Because as you start to learn how to reconnect with your body, as you start to feel hunger and fullness and satiated, physical hunger versus emotional hunger, you don’t need to change anything. So, when you hit a plateau, you just tell yourself, oh, okay, I’m maintaining my weight right now. Great. Because ladies there’ve been many times in my life that I could not maintain weight.

 

I was gaining, I was gaining 10, 20, 30. I gained 55 pounds once in nine months. So when you hit a plateau, you just have to believe something different. This is my body adjusting. It’s maybe that time of the month, or, you know, maybe I have some stress or maybe I’m not getting enough sleep. Right. So just don’t panic.

 

Look at your data again, objectively not to beat yourself up. And have you been eaten a little more? Have you had some emotion or transition? And again, just get curious, right? That’s the next thing? Just get curious, ask yourself, why are you sabotaging? Right. Do you have these, you know, I talked about the overweight identity and you’re stepping into this new version.

 

Are you starting to sabotage your weight loss? And so just get curious without beating yourself up. And the next one is, decide on purpose that you want to lose weight in a way that you can always do it. You want to do it slowly. You want to take your time. You want to get off the diet roller coaster. You want to follow this transform process because this process is a way that you can eat in your life.

 

You don’t have to change your lifestyle. You just have to start to change your mind and your mindset. And again, reconnection to your body so that you can, your body is a miracle. Honestly, even now it’s such a miracle. And so you get to decide on purpose to reconnect. And it has all these signals that we’ve just been ignoring or that have been misfiring because we’ve filled it with all of this processed and just,

 

you know, food that doesn’t feel good in it. So, get off the diet roller coaster, decide I’m off. I’m not going to do that anymore. I’m not going to be in a hurry to lose all my weight. I’m not going to try some crazy diet. I’m just, I hit a plateau. I’m just going to take the next best action.

 

And then my last question that I wanted to add to this episode was ice cream and veggies. I feel the same in my body and what I want all of you to do as you’re testing. This is you go into your body, and you start to ask your body questions. So, when you’re starting out, this is for all the ladies. We have been so disconnected from our bodies that we don’t know when we’re hungry.

 

We don’t know when we’re full. We don’t know how food feels in our body. We just eat. We just eat, eat. Sometimes we’ll know when you know, when we’re not feeling well or have a belly ache that we’ve eaten too much or acid reflux, you know, all the things, right? And so, what you want to do if you’re starting out is to test one to two foods at a time.

 

So, for example, veggies is a huge category. There are some veggies that feel amazing in my body that are fuel. And then there are some that don’t for example, I love broccoli. I really do, but it does not love me. It does. I can eat just a tiny bit of it, but it’s really a non-fuel for me because of how it feels in my body.

 

And so again, this goes back to all of our bodies are different. Now in the show notes, we’ll put becoming the scientists of your own body. Kind of, I have two episodes that are really good on how to start to test and how to start to really reconnect with your body. But this is important to understand what food fuels you, where you feel energetic, you feel amazing what food is neutral, where you know, you eat it, you feel fine, you know nothing. And then you have non-fuel where, when you eat it, you don’t feel good. You feel tired. You might get a belly ache. You might get indigestion. Maybe you get leg aches. That’s another thing too. If I eat sugar, I’ll get leg aches. And so again, this is just checking in with your body and seeing how your body is feeling. And so you want to do this methodically like a scientist. You only want to do it with one or two foods at a time. And what you’re going to do before you start to eat, you’re going to check in with your body.

 

You’re going to ask questions. How am I feeling right now? Now again, this is before you eat, am I physically hungry? How does my stomach feel? You’re going to go into your body. How’s my energy right now. And you’re just going to ask yourself questions, then start eating. And then about five minutes after, start to check in with yourself. 10 minutes, 15 minutes you decide. And just again, ask yourself, how’s this food feeling? How’s it feeling? Am I feeling good? Neutral. And then about 30 minutes after you eat, you’re going to check in again. And you’re going to say to yourself, how am I feeling? Do I have a stomachache? Do I have low energy? Or do I feel neutral? Where I just feel good, or do I feel amazing? I feel energized. Like I didn’t notice, but I’m cleaning the house now. Right? And then you can start to see how that food feels. And another big piece of fuel food. When I eat fuel food, it keeps me, satiated keeps me feeling satisfied for hours, right? If you eat something and then 30 minutes later, you’re starving. That’s a non-fuel food. That is a non-fuel food for you. So again, you can eat all the foods you just, as you’re going through this process, want to learn how to Uplevel.

You want to learn how to up-level what you’re eating. And so, you’re going to move from more nonfuel to more fuel food because you want to feel amazing. It’s not because you want, I tell you loves, this is another trick of all my ladies who have lost weight. Yes, you want to lose weight, but the more important driver is you want to feel healthy in your body. You want to feel energy. You don’t want to belly. I don’t want a belly ache anymore. I don’t need foods that give me belly aches because I don’t want it.

 

And it’s, I still enjoy all the foods that I want, but I am in control. I get to decide. Whoo loves. I love this episode. I know. So fun, lots of different subjects. We’ll put some of the episodes in the show notes. So if you want to go back and listen, and if you have not subscribed, make sure that you hit the plus button and apple and then subscribe button on the other applications that you listened to, but you want to, because then every Wednesday I’ll be right in your library. So you can listen to all the new episodes.

And if you’re not a part of transform boss, then take my free course, go freebosscourse.com. This will give you an introduction and a workbook to get you started on losing weight for the very last time.

All right, my love. I’ll talk to you next week. Thank you for listening to this episode of weight loss for successful women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to be fly. coaching.com. That’s B F L Y. coaching.com. See you next week.

 

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