Month: June 2022

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 144. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women. A podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host fortune 100 executive and certified life coach Shannan Christiansen. Hello. So happy to be here with you today.

Oh, I have to tell you. We have been busy. We have, do you ever feel like just so many things are going on? I mean, amazing and wonderful staff, but your brain can be like, Hey, we got a lot going on. We are having so much fun though. We are coming towards the end of an eight-week series on Facebook.

I’m going live each week on Facebook, on the beef life coaching business page to teach steps, how to get off the diet roller coaster for good. It’s been so fun. I have loved engaging with all the ladies. You can go to facebook.com forward slash beef life coaching or listen to the replays right here on the podcast. Just make sure you subscribe wherever you listen to the podcast.

So, you don’t miss an episode. And as you know, we’ve been getting ready. We are opening on July 12th and to celebrate the transform boss challenge is back. This seven-day challenge is amazing. It’s going to start on July 10th. You can sign up@bflightcoaching.com forward slash me M E. You want to spend seven days with me learning how to feel better, lose weight in simple and easy steps.

Ooh, the challenges are a great way. It’s a great way to start or keep your journey going. And so, you do not want to miss out on the challenges. They are one of my favorite things. We do them three times a year. So, when I say you really don’t want to miss out, you do not want to miss out. This is our second challenge of the year.

You can go to B-flat coaching.com for slash me. We’ll also put it in the show notes. They’re fun. You know, I also coach it’s the only time ever that I coach publicly. Now it’s in a private Facebook group because of course we want it to be private ladies only, but you can actually see and witness coaching. It is so good.

Let’s get into today’s topic. That leads me right in. I want to talk about coaching and the coaching that I do. I see a lot of, you know, life coaches or weight coaches out there. And I want to be very specific about what I’m doing and how I coach in transform boss. The coaching that I do is about asking questions and helping women have breakthroughs and ahas in the process.

I have been trained in several methods and been coaching professionally for 28 years. I love coaching. It is like in my history, I’ve done it. Business coaching, professional coaching, now, weight loss, coaching, and life coaching. It is just one of my favorite things to do. I love watching women, just their minds explode so that they can get to the solution so they can get to how to move forward,

how to take their lives and just have breakthrough. After breakthrough coaching is to help folks who are functioning, reach new Heights by breaking through some of the roadblocks and challenges they’re having. When you’re being coached, you are using a bit of different parts of your brain. And many of my clients are surprised what comes out when I asked her in questions, they have these old beliefs.

What I like to call these old records or thoughts that are just keeping them stuck and what I do. And my coaches, we hold this space. We allow our clients to say the thoughts out loud. And it’s amazing how you feel after, because what happens is your brain sort of opens up. You’ve said all the things you’ve just right. And you know,

I’m there as your coach to guide you and to ask you questions so you can keep digging a little deeper and a little deeper, and then suddenly you start to see the solution the way forward. The next step, you can start to see the thoughts and beliefs that have been keeping you stuck and suddenly, you know exactly what to do. I know that coaching has become a sort of a buzzword and companies are saying they have coaches,

but they’re actually like reading scripts. They’re not really trained in coaching. And sometimes even they have bots like, you know, they say they can coach you online. And like bots are answering you. The coaching that is done and transformed boss is coaching techniques. So, my clients achieve breakthroughs. It’s helping my clients see something in themselves that they cannot coaching is supportive and loving,

but we ask good questions. I’m your coach. And I want you to have success. I want you to achieve all your goals and dreams. And part of being a coach is being your cheerleader and also helping you cut through the excuses and the BS you’ve been telling yourself so that you can stay comfortable, stay stuck. I have my own coach. So, I know exactly how this works.

I tell you; I love being coached. Sometimes it’s hard. There are times before the coaching session, I’ll get in head and I’ll worry about, you know, what will happen, or will I say the right thing? Even I, and then I get in the coaching session and my coach, she just guides me through it as I do with my clients.

I believe in coaching. I believe in, it’s so hard in the seven-day challenge. One of the nights I call it a coaching party. I’ll do some coaching. I love showing women what coaching is, what it really is. And it’s just the tip of the iceberg of what we do and transform boss. So, this leads me to another part,

coaching. I mean, hands down changed my life, but there was this other part of losing weight and transforming my life. That was really important. And it was community. When I was losing my way, I thought I could do it by myself. I had so much shame around my weight, around failing around, you know, having the struggle of being overweight that I didn’t want to talk about.

Then new thing I was trying, I didn’t want to tell everyone that I had found a coach and that I was, you know, doing this mindset work. I didn’t want to do any of that. And so, I needed a community of women who knew what I was going through. You know, they were doing the same things. Community is so important and the community that we have created and transform boss,

I really believe it’s like no other. It’s just women who love and support each other. They also ask good questions and hold each other accountable. It’s so important. See, being alone with your own thoughts, not getting support, it just starts keeping you disconnected from others. I always say to folks, you never want to be in my brain because there’s some crazy stuff.

And when I’m left alone to it, without seeing, you know, the truth without having, you know, members of my community say, hey, have you tried this or tell us what you’re thinking, or even just inspiration watching others achieve their goals and doing these new things and you know, watching them when they struggle and then watching them overcome the struggle.

It’s amazing. Zane, you know, my love community is so important. I think more than ever, we need it. We just need it. We need to feel love and joy and support. I love receiving that. I love receiving support, but I also love giving it. I love helping someone and inspiring someone. And you never quite know when that happens.

I tell you just being a part of community and being engaged in it is just so it’s everything. It’s everything. And so not having a community especially in this weight loss journey can keep you stuck on the diet rollercoaster. So, find a, try. My love, find a tribe of women who can support you, who can love you, who can inspire you,

who can help you be accountable. You feel no judgment, there’s no discontent or any of that. There’s no competition. It’s just a tribe that sees you, that you belong in. And that is just there for you. I know these two things, coaching and community they’re critical and losing weight for the last time. Having someone help you to see what’s been holding you back and then having a community of women who support you and inspire you.

Well, my love it is everything. Join us in the transform boss. Seven-day challenge, where I will teach my basics and even do a little coaching. You can sign up at bflycoaching.com/me. Thank you for listening to this episode of weight loss for successful women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more,

come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 143. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello my love. I am so happy to be here with you today. I’ve been thinking a lot about today’s episode actually, not only for all my ladies, I think about you all the time. I have to tell you in my own life, this is something that I struggle with. So I can’t wait to talk to you about it.

But before I get into that, I have to tell you, I’m so excited. I’m going on vacation this week with my grandbabies and I cannot even deal with it. I have to tell you ladies, I know I’ve said this before, if you’re not new to me, you’ve heard me say this before, I, before the pandemic Paul and I, we would go on lots of vacations. And since we just have not, I mean, you know, a little bit here and there, but nothing. And I have a couple of grandbabies that I’ve never been on vacation with. I mean, it’s crazy to me, my two youngest. So I just can’t wait. We’re going to go to the beach. It’s going to be a really chill vacation. And I am so excited about it. You know that anticipation before you go on vacation. It will be 50/50 for sure.

That’s how they always are. It’ll be amazing. And then there’ll be moments, you know, where you’ll be like, ah, okay, take a breath. But it’ll be amazing. I hope summer is treating all of you, well, I know there’s been a lot of heat waves. It’s pretty okay here in Arizona, but I know around the country. So I am just wishing you lots of coolness, lots of air conditioning, for sure.

So let’s get into today’s, because I love today’s topic. So when I was on the diet rollercoaster, I was so focused on the number. You know what I’m talking about. The number was seared in my brain. I could be watching TV or in a meeting and suddenly 232 would pop in my brain, or 250, or 270, wherever I was, that number, my weight, represented so much failure, disappointment. It meant that no matter what I was doing, no matter where I was, no matter even the successes that I had going on in my life, it meant that I still was a mess. Still not good enough. I still wasn’t, you know, 120, 130, right?

I had this old belief that that’s what I needed to weight. I would start new diets and all I would think about was getting to the number – the outcome. I think for so many of us we’re so goal driven. I mean, if you think about it, this has been just, you know, planted in our brains since we were kids, right? Get the good grades, set a goal with work, life, our careers, money goals. We have so many goals. And once we set a goal, that goal, that outcome that we wanted, it was like the prize. This is important because the more I do this work, I realize that even some of the things that I thought helped me actually kept me stuck. Kept me longing for something, instead of being present where I was. What would happen when I was on the diet roller coaster is if I overate or I didn’t lose weight in a week, then I wasn’t doing enough.

When I was focused on this outcome, this result, it kept me stuck, kept me thinking it just wasn’t good enough. Then I would overeat. Then I would say, well I might as well eat it all because I’m going to start over tomorrow. I’m going to be good tomorrow. I see some of my clients struggle with this too. They tell me, I didn’t lose any weight for the last two weeks. And then they go down a spiral. I’m not doing anything right. And then as I start to coach them, as I start to get into it, they’re doing a lot right. But they’re focused on that number, that outcome, that result.

And so what happens is focusing on the number, how many pounds you lose, it actually stalls your progress. Because when you don’t get the outcome you think you should have, right, I need to lose a pound this week, or two pounds, or five pounds, whatever it is, doubt starts to creep in. And then you feel discouraged, disappointed. And then you overeat. You start sabotaging, and you have thoughts that you’re starting over again. You’re at the bottom again. Even if you’re maintaining and not gaining.

Because you’ve not reached the outcome, the goal, the number. And everything that you do until you reach that is not good enough. I want you to really think about that, and how this has shown up in your own life. One of the secrets to losing weight for the last time is to focus on the process, the basics, find successes you’re having, because when you feel successful, you keep doing the things. You keep doing the process. If you want to understand my basics, listen to episode number 6, 9, 11, and 19. We’ll place those links in the show notes. And if you’re a Boss, you know, get into the course. We talk about them, there in module one, and I go way deep in on them.

Focus in on the simple fundamentals, the basics, without the outcome attached, you will have more success. See weight loss, it ebbs and flows. When I was losing weight, I would have plateaus that would last weeks. If you focus on this number, instead of what you’re learning, how you’re failing, how you’re growing, what your data is, what pieces are working for you, it just keeps you stuck. It slows, and it can even stall your progress. Another part of this process is to understand what you really want out of it. You know we set this weight loss goal, but there’s so much more. We want to feel better, have better relationships with ourselves, others, reconnecting with our body, starting to pay attention and love it.

The result of a number on the scale is so small compared to stepping into that next version of yourself, understanding what success really means. I want you to live your best life in a body that you love. And it means so many different things. When we focus on a number, we make it mean if we’re not at that number that something’s gone wrong and that we’re not enough. It’s just not the truth. Because the number on the scale is just data. It’s just a data point to tell us, Hey, I want to do this. I want to do that. When I think of my journey to where I am today, it’s full of failure and successes. The number, it’s really meaningless. I know how my body feels because I’m connected to it.

I feel physical hunger versus emotional hunger. I talk to myself more than I listen. I consistently redirect my brain to think thoughts that serves me. My relationship with myself is better than it has ever been. Releasing yourself from the number and learning to love the process is so that you can get off this diet rollercoaster. Because when you’re focused on this outcome, this, you know, whatever, and this can, I’m talking weight loss, but I tell you my love, this really has shown up for me in business, in career, right? When you don’t get that job when you think you should get it, or you don’t get the raise when you think you should get it, or, you know, it shows up in so many areas of our lives. And if things are not coming quick enough, your brain will start to look for something new.

This is just such a part of the diet roller coaster. You’ll just start, right, if it doesn’t come quick enough, you don’t start losing the weight fast enough, then you just start looking for the next thing. When you’re focused on the outcome, the number and the timeframe, you start to feel disappointed, and you start sabotaging. And when you do that, you really start to feel kind of paralyzed. And for many of you, you don’t take action. I know, I did this for so long. Now you might start something and then white knuckle it and buckle down and restrict. But you can only do that for so long. You can only cut the carbs for so long.

And so to lose weight for the last time, here are five keys for you. One, focus on the process, the fundamentals, the basics. Losing weight is an inside job. It starts with changing your mindset, your beliefs, reconnecting with your body. And how to use your brain to make it easy. How to start talking to yourself rather than listening to all those old records that keep you stuck.

Number two, celebrate your successes. All of them. Even the tiniest of tiniest of things that in your brain is tiny. I’m sure it’s not, but this is how we talk to ourselves. We make our plan. We eat on plan and then we’re like, oh, but I could have eaten less. I could have done this. I could have moved my body. Right? I want you to start to celebrate your success. See you’re not wired to see them. You have to intentionally look for them. You are wired to only look for what is wrong. I just saw this reel of Justin Prince. He’s like a business guy. And he was talking about how we’re wired. Your brain is always looking for danger, right? I mean, that’s just a known thing, but I loved the example that he gave.

He gave the example of seeing like a car crash, right? Seeing, you know, people pulled over on the side of the road and you’re, oh, you always slow down. You always pay attention. You want to see it. Your brain is like, what’s happening? What’s going on there? Right? Because our brain is, again, always looking for the danger. But you can drive by a sunset every single day and not really notice it. I like this example because this is just how we’re wired. And I think for many of us, we just think something’s wrong with us. And it’s literally how our brain is wired. We have to look for our success. We have to practice looking for them, celebrating them.  Being in a community where you can celebrate your success without judgment. I think about my Transform Bosses. Part of our program is our community, and really being able to celebrate successes and not feeling weird about it, feeling amazing about it. It’s so important in your weight loss journey.

 Two, remove yourself and thoughts from the outcome. You can have a goal, I like goals, but spend 99% of your time thinking about the process and what you’re thinking and believing about it. It is who you are becoming when you focus on the process. And then when you fail or you have challenges, you just keep doing the process, because you will have success. Successes like I made my realistic plan, I ate on my realistic plan, I checked in with my hunger. These small successes, they just build on one another and they keep building. If you’re just focused on that number on the scale, you will cause more of this drama in your brain, that you’re not doing enough, even if you’re doing so many things that are good, that feel good. I think about this. I like to be strong. It’s something as I’m aging that I’m really focused on. I like to lift weights. I like to stretch my body. This has nothing to do with a number. It’s interesting because I don’t really have a goal around it. I just know that I like to feel strong. I like to build my muscle. I like to stretch my body.

I tell you my love, number three, this is it. Remove yourself and thoughts from the outcome. It makes such a difference when you just focus on the process. Number four, it is not better when you reach the goal. And I know so many ladies will be like, oh, if I just could lose this weight, then everything would be better. Now I know, right? You’ll love certain things about it. You will. But you’ll still have to manage your brain. And your life is still going to be 50/50. This is why so many of us, and I know you’re listening to me right now, and you’ve probably lost and gained hundreds of pounds. This is the diet roller coaster. Because you didn’t learn to love the process while you were losing weight, it wasn’t something that you could always do.

When you lost a certain amount of weight you started sabotaging, because you always take your brain with you. All those old thoughts and beliefs. This is why diets are so unsuccessful. You can restrict for so long. You can, you know, do the thing. You can, you know, exercise for however long it is for you. But then at some point, all those old thoughts, like I just want to be normal, I don’t want to do this anymore. Why can’t I be normal? And then you just start sabotaging and gaining it back. When you get to whatever that number is for you, it’s just, you’re still gonna have this 50/50 life. But if you learn how to love the process, see, I love making my realistic plan. It takes two minutes and then I don’t have to negotiate about food all day. I learned to love the process.

How I lost weight is the way that I’m going to live my life as long as I’m on this planet. The outcome and the results of the process, honestly, it’s just fleeting quick success. And then your brain is going to move on to the other 50%. Have you ever lost 20 or 30 pounds, and you’re feeling good, but it’s just for, you know, a little bit till you try on those jeans and you’re like, Ooh, this feels good. And then your brain’s like, oh, this isn’t good enough. Oh, you have loose skin. Oh my goodness. You know, you need to lose more. You need to do better. You need to buckle down. And then you start sabotaging. My most successful clients are focused on the process, the fundamentals. They start to believe new things about themselves. A successful outcome is just what happens when you love the process. And you’re just all in, even when it’s no longer exciting and new.

Number five, release the timeframe. I know my love. It’s one of the most powerful things. When you can unattach yourself to the time. This, you know, I need to lose 20 pounds before the wedding, before school comes back in, before the vacation, you know, I’ve got to get it off, then I’ll feel better. My love, what happens is you put all this pressure on yourself, then you feel overwhelmed. Then you do nothing. Or you start to binge eat. You start to overeat. You start to disconnect. Release the timeframe. Because when your brain starts thinking, it’s not happening quick enough, you start to feel discouraged. And then it gives you an excuse to overeat, disconnect, and start to search for the next quick fix. When you focus on the steps of the process, the basics, you’ll be amazed at how you feel, how you show up and the results that you get.

My love, I love this episode because it’s so important in losing weight and getting off the diet roller coaster. It’s focusing on the steps. It’s focusing on the moment, the day, instead of this goal and being obsessed about it and the number on the scale, so that every time you see what you actually weigh, you have so much mind drama because it makes you feel that you’re not enough. And I just want to remind you, you are enough. You always have been. And that number on the scale, it’s just data. It doesn’t mean anything about you.

My love, if you want to go deeper into this work, take my free course at freebosscourse.com. I will see you next week. Bye my love. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 142. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

So fun my love. We are in June, right? I know we’re almost halfway through the year. If you think back to the beginning of the year, what were your goals? What were your impossible goals? Yeah. Where are you at with that? I always love to check in mid-year and just see where I’m at. Not to judge, just to get curious, look at my data and then decide what do I want to do for the rest of the year? How do I want to finish the year out? My love, 2023 will be here before you know it. It will. I know time goes so fast. Yeah. I feel like as the older I get the faster it goes.

So we’re doing this eight-week series, which has been so amazing. I just finished with week four of Facebook live. So if you go to BFLYCoaching business page, you can just go on Facebook search BFLYCoaching, it’s B F L Y, and then coaching all one word, you’ll find my business page and you can like us. Then also get notified when I go live. I’ve been doing this eight-week series on how to get off the diet roller coaster, and it’s so good. Ladies are coming and it’s just been so much fun.

We’re also putting the replays here on the podcast so that you can listen to it if you miss it. And the best way to get notified of when I’m going live is to get on my email list. And you can go to freebosscourse.com to take my free course. And then you’ll be on my email list. Yeah, you won’t miss anything then. Oh, you don’t want to miss anything. And I tell you, I just got off a coaching call in Transform Boss Weight Loss. I have to tell you my loves, I usually do them on Monday nights, mostly. And it’s just my favorite night of the week. I just love it. I love coaching.

I’m telling you every time we get off one of those coaching calls where I get to coach and watch women just, oh, blow their own minds, and all my ladies, all my Transform Bosses, they’re just learning how to lose weight for the last time. And it just really is so fun. If you’re not a Transform Boss, I mean, you, for sure want to be. You do. It’s so good. Oh, I just love Transform Boss Weight Loss. And we’re opening to the public on July 12th. So you don’t want to miss out. So mark it down and get on my email list and you’ll get all the information.

So I tell you, I’m so excited too, because I’m planning a vacation. I know, you know, pre-pandemic, Paul and and I, we traveled all the time. We went to Europe, we went to, you know, all sorts of beach vacations all around the United States. I mean, we just traveled so much and you know, the pandemic came and we just really, it came to a halt and we haven’t done much of it since. We’ve done little trips to Sedona. We’ve been to California, I think once. And so I’m very excited because we are planning a vacation. We’re going to California with my grandbabies, which I cannot wait. I know, I can’t wait. I can’t wait. My son and daughter-in-law are coming too, and we’re just going to have a really fun time. And it will just be nice to get away and have some fun time with the babies. Of course, I’ll have some amazing time with Paul. It feels, you know, good to get a little back to normal. I like that for sure.

So let’s get into today’s episode. So I was just got off a coaching call. You know, I don’t know, I feel a little inspired by the coaching, and of course I’m not going to share the coaching, but there is a theme that when I do coach ladies that comes up a lot and it’s this thought that I should be doing more. I should be doing better. I’m not doing enough. Maybe it’s thoughts around like, I’m just going through the motions. I’m doing the mechanics. You know, I’m not really putting a lot of intention behind it.

And I see this happen when ladies have been doing, you know, the process for a while. And what happens is my love, we have been on this diet rollercoaster for so long. I know if you’re listening, it’s probably 10, 20, 30, 40 years, this losing weight, gaining weight, going on a diet, being off a diet, it’s just this cycle. And it really is like a hamster wheel. And it’s just, we’ve done it for so long that as you’re learning to heal your relationship with food, these sneaky little thoughts come in. Restriction and diet has kept us thinking about food. Thinking about that we can’t have food, that we can’t enjoy it, that we have to eat foods we don’t like or cut out a food group where we can only have so much of it.

And I just want to really challenge that because restriction and diets, it keeps you on the diet roller coaster. And I’m telling you my loves, I know this. I live this. I have watched my clients whenever they’re struggling. It’s because these old thoughts of restriction and diets come popping up. See restriction causes feelings of deprivation. Even if it’s just thoughts like, I can’t have that. I can’t have this. It causes these feelings of deprivation and disappointment. Like, why can’t I just be normal? Why can’t I eat it? And so when you’re feeling deprived, when you’re feeling disappointed, then you overeat. Then you start to beat yourself up.

You start to tell yourself, oh, I knew you were going to fail. I knew you were going to do this. And then you just say, forget it all. And then you just say, I don’t want to think about this anymore. And then you binge and then you overeat, and then you tell yourself, you’re going to start again. And then it’s just this cycle, again, over and over and over again. And it comes with because we were taught and this is just deep, old thoughts that are just living in our subconscious, right? No salad dressing, dry lettuce and chicken, or all fat dressing with no potatoes. Like let’s cut out all the carbs. We have so many thoughts about restriction and that the only way to lose weight is to restrict, to do it in a way which feels punishing, where you have to eat foods that you don’t enjoy.

In the short term, maybe restriction works maybe for a little bit. I mean, I had some success, but long term, I would gain it back. And so how to lose weight for the last time is starting to heal your relationship with food. And part of that is starting to think about food differently. See if you don’t start to understand when you’re physically hungry or approaching satiated or full, you will rebel and you will overeat, then you feel discouraged. Then you overeat for weeks or months before you can muster up enough willpower is what they call it. I mean, I really don’t know what willpower is, but this is what we tell ourselves. To go back on keto or 75 Hard or Weight Watchers and count the points or Noom. You go back to some calorie restricted, food group cutting, or over-exercising. And the way I know this to be true, I’ve lived this my love, is starting to allow, starting to enjoy food, eating foods that you like is how you lose weight and heal your relationship with food. So how do we even start to allow? Because you might be thinking like Shannan, that’s why I’m overweight.

I’ve been allowing everything. Allowance comes with changing your thoughts about food. It all begins with how you think about it. See, we have these thoughts that we can’t have what we want to eat. We have these thoughts, so-and-so can eat all the things and I can’t, and poor me. But I want you to hear me when I say this.

You today already eat what you want. You may restrict, you may turn food down, but it is you making the decision. I just need you to hear that, really stop and think about this. You always eat what you want to eat. You always do. And when you tell yourself I eat what I want, and I also check in with my hunger, because I want to fuel my body, I want to be healthy, I want to love my body, I want to get off the diet rollercoaster, this all starts with the way in which you think and talk to yourself about the food that you eat.

See, I love the food that I eat. I enjoy it. I mean, it can be boring sometimes, and it doesn’t always have to be an explosion in my mouth, but mostly I enjoy it. I really do enjoy the food that I eat. And I savor it. Especially if I’m going to eat non-fuel, if I’m going to eat a cupcake or cookie or whatever it is sweet, cause you know ladies, I’m a sweet girl, it is going to be delicious. Not some dry old thing that is processed. I’m not going to eat something that isn’t delicious.

The way in which you think about the food that you eat is going to determine your success. See, I visualize when I’m eating. If I’m eating non-fuel, I visualize how it will feel if I overeat. I visualize the belly ache, the low energy, I check in and ask myself, am I starting to get full? Am I starting to get satiated? If I have fuel food. So I’ll give you an example. We have this salad that we really love, and it has all kinds of good things in it. I mean, it just has all kinds of lettuces and kale and broccoli and asparagus and corn and avocado. And it has this amazing dressing. When I eat it, it just feels like fuel to me. It feels so good in my body. And as I’m eating it, I visualize how I’m caring for my body, how I’m nourishing it, and how it makes me feel. I visualize all the nutrients, repairing my body, fighting off sickness. And I think about how I will feel after.

In both examples, whether it’s non-fuel food or fuel food, I think about how I will feel after. This is key into losing weight for the last time. To start to heal your relationship with food, you have to start allowing the foods my love. And then you have to start to think about food differently. I remember I had just such negative thoughts about fuel food, about food that felt good in my body, because I was always eating foods that I didn’t like. I’ll use this example. I eat chicken, but I’m not a big chicken lover. So I just, I don’t eat it as much. I like beef. I like Turkey. I like eggs. I like tuna. Mahi-Mahi. I choose protein because protein is good for my body. I choose protein that I enjoy. Not because someone told me that I needed to eat chicken to lose weight. That is just an old thought, an old belief. And so understanding your thoughts about the food that fuels your body, I’m telling you, I used to have so many thoughts I used to believe. I had this thought to lose weight that all I could eat was chicken salad and salmon.

Chicken and salmon. I don’t really like, I really don’t like salmon actually at all. I like a good salad with good dressing, right? With like really good, fresh salad. I don’t like those old things that you buy in the containers that have been sitting in the shelf for a while. I like a really good fresh salad with fresh veggies, with a lots of different kinds. And so I just say this ladies, because if you’ve been on the diet rollercoaster, even fuel food you have negative thoughts around it. I have no doubt about it. You have these beliefs that you have to eat in a certain way.

You, you can’t have carbs. Like I love a baked potato, right? I love carbs. Carbs are good. I need carbs to think. I need carbs to have energy. Because of all the diet trauma, my loves. And again, we don’t need to like, nothing matters that happened yesterday. It doesn’t matter. It’s just today. That’s all you have. You have today. And so now you get to decide what you want to think about all the food, your fuel food, your non-fuel food.

This is how you start to heal your relationship. And I was coaching one of my ladies and she’s practicing this thought that it’s a gift to her to make a realistic plan and to really think about it and to put food on there that she enjoys, and that fuels her. And food that doesn’t fuel her, but she loves to enjoy. And I think it’s a gift also that we get to fuel our bodies and still eat a cupcake and still lose weight. Healing your relationship with food and allowing food is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself. So how do you do it?

Here are the transformational questions and actions. Number one, become aware of the thoughts that you have around fuel food versus non-fuel food and diet foods. Like really become aware of those old thoughts that you have that are keeping you eating foods that you don’t enjoy. Two, when you’re eating, enjoy it, savor it, love it. Whether it’s fuel or not. Number three, check in as you’re eating. Just ask yourself, am I starting to get full? Am I starting to feel satiated? And number four, visualize how food will feel after you eat it. If I’m eating non-fuel, I think about if I overeat it, how it will feel, how I will feel. If I’m eating fuel food, I do the same thing. I think about how I’m going to feel as I’m nourishing and taking care of my body.

Ooh, it’s so good. If you want to learn the fundamentals of how I lost weight and how my clients in Transform Boss got started, then take my free course. Go to freebosscourse.com. See you next week my love. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 141. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello my love. So happy to be here with you today. Today’s episode actually was inspired by a coaching session I had in Transform Boss Weight Loss with one of my Bosses. It was just such a great coaching session. And it reminded me of when I was losing weight and something that I really struggled with. And it’s holding these two different beliefs and how it can keep you stuck.

Oh my love, it is summer here in Arizona. Yeah, we’re in the hundreds. This is how we do, but I do have to say it’s so beautiful. You know, we just kind of went through our spring and all the desert plants bloom, and it is really beautiful. It’s a different kind of beauty, but ah, it is pretty darn beautiful. So it for sure has been hot.

But I have to tell you love, I’ve been ill and I had COVID, and it really kind of knocked me out for a good bit. And I am just feeling so much better. And you know, when you’re sick and all you can think about is I just can’t wait till I feel better. And I’m starting in that right now where mostly I’m back, I would say I’m about 90%, which is pretty darn good compared to where I was even three days ago. You know, when you get your health back, I mean, you just want to like run a marathon. I’m not even kidding. I went for a walk this morning and it just felt so good.

And it was hot too. I mean, I don’t even know it was, it was pretty darn hot. I didn’t even care. I was just so happy because my body felt good and my breath, you know, I wasn’t, I was a little out of breath, but nothing too crazy. My heart rate was okay. You know, and it just felt good to have a little bit of energy. I’d been so fatigued. My energy has just been so low. And so it just felt so good.

So I want to tell you ladies about this really fun thing that I’m doing right now on my BFLY Coaching Facebook page in Facebook, if you type my name or you type in BFLY Coaching, it will come up and it is these lives that I’m doing every week. And so I go on once a week, I’m doing an eight-week series on how to get off the diet roller coaster. And you know, I’m having the best time. I had one tonight and it was so great. We talked about ending habit eating. You don’t want to miss that. We’re going to put the replay here on the podcast.

So if you listen to the podcast you can catch all the replays here. But if you want to join me live and interact with me and ask me questions, for sure you want to join the lives. Now, the easiest way to be notified about them is to be on my email list. And the easiest way to get on my email list is to take my free course. So if you’ve not taken my free course, it’s a great course. You know, it teaches you the fundamentals, the basics of what I teach in a very simple, easy way so that you can start your journey to losing weight for the last time. And it also, there’s a workbook, it’s free, so you can download it and you can start to do your work.

And it’s so interesting because I just had someone, I mean, she kind of made my day. She said I made her day, but she really kind of made my day. She had just taken the free course and she had private messaged me on Facebook and just said, you know, she knew what her why was. And she was doing the work in the workbook and she started to feel hopeful. And you know, it was the best. It was so great to hear. So if you’ve not taken the free course yet you for sure want to, it’s pretty darn good. So go to freebosscourse.com. And of course we’ll put that in the show notes for you too.

Today’s episode is about learning how to believe new thoughts about yourself. Part of this process is what I want to talk about today is about holding onto two conflicting beliefs. I want to take you back to when I was losing weight. I had this period of time, I don’t know how many years ago it was, but a good while ago, and I was losing weight. I had found my few teachers who taught me the process that I teach today. So I knew most of my process. Of course, you know, I continue to research. I continue to learn. I continue to come up with new tools and techniques, but I had a good foundation of the process that I teach today. And I was losing weight and I was starting to believe new things, right. I had learned the thought cycle. I had learned how, you know, my thoughts caused feelings.

And then, you know, I did or didn’t do things based on how I was feeling. And I really started to believe like, whoa, right? You ladies know, right? When you learn something that ultimately just changes your story forever, it changes your life forever. It’s exciting. And so I was going along, I was losing some weight and then I started noticing all of these old beliefs starting to pop up. Things like, you’re never going to keep this weight off. This is just another short-term fix. You failed so many times. I just had these thoughts that just kept coming up. What did I do? I started to, you know, sabotage. I started to overeat. I started to eat a little more than what was on my plan.

Again, I still had all of my old thoughts. Because of this work I thought that I was going to be changed. I really thought that I was going to boom, be enlightened. Right? I had this fantasy of that one-year mindset change and suddenly everything was going to be different. And I wasn’t going to have these old thoughts. But loves, I was on the diet rollercoaster for almost 38 years. I mean, I really, for all of you just right now, how long have you been on the diet roller coaster? 10, 20, 30, 40 years. I had been gaining and losing and failing over and over and over again. I had built up just tons of evidence that I could not lose weight.

That weight loss was always going to be my struggle. And so because of this, and you know, I, of course I had these old thoughts. Of course they were still there. Even though I had new tools, even though I had these amazing things I was learning, I still had all of these old beliefs and they were just still like records in the back of my head, just playing over and over again. And so, I did what I had always done. I started to overeat, and I started to backslide. But I did have this work, and I did have a few teachers, and I had a coach. So one of my teachers, Brooke, she teaches this concept and she calls it the river of misery. And the river of misery is where you’re holding two conflicting beliefs.

So I had this new belief that I could lose weight for the last time, that I could lose weight and never gain it back. I was starting to believe that. But I still had this old thought of weight loss is your struggle. You failed so many times. Now, I love the term river of misery because when you’re holding two beliefs and they’re both circling around in your head, it feels a little like misery. It feels a little like struggle, right? Your brain can feel a little like tired, a little like, oh man, this is a lot. And there’s a technical term actually for this, it’s called cognitive dissonance.

And I want to read the definition. The definition of it, of cognitive dissonance is the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. Why this is so important is because when you have been on the diet rollercoaster and you have lost and gained weight, you have all of these beliefs and thoughts around that you’ll never keep it off. You’ll always gain it back. Weight loss is hard. You have to cut out food groups.

You can’t be “normal.” I mean, I could go on and on for days ladies, I had all of this. I had built up a library of evidence, right? I was like the prosecutor and the defendant. No kidding. I had just built up all of this evidence. And so when I started this work and I started to practice my new thoughts, I started to want to believe something different, I started challenging these beliefs, because I had seen in examples of others where they had lost weight for the last time, I knew that it was possible. I knew that there were many areas of my life where I did believe new things, where I had changed my thoughts.

I think about, you know, when I was 22 years old and single, and I didn’t have education. I mean, at that moment, I didn’t believe that I could finish college. I didn’t believe that I could become an executive. I mean, I didn’t believe any of that. I didn’t believe that I could be a leader. Right. But again, over time I slowly changed those beliefs and thoughts.

And so you too have had things where if you look back 10, 20, 30 years, that you didn’t believe about yourself, but over time and experience and practice, you started to believe something different. And so this river of misery, cognitive dissonance, it’s holding two beliefs. Like if you can picture right now in my hands, I have both my hands out, in one hand, my right hand I have this belief that I can lose weight for the very last time, that I can live in a body that feels like freedom. That I can feel healthy, that I can move my body with ease. That’s my right hand. My left hand is holding, it is heavy. You are always going to be fat. You’re always going to gain your weight back.

You have failed so many times. You’re just the girl with the pretty face. You can’t lose weight for good. You’re always going to struggle. Weight is your struggle. And so I’m holding in my hands now two sets of beliefs and I’ve really built a lot of evidence for my left hand. I’ve really built up so much evidence. I have a library of evidence that that is true.

And so what I had to start to do was start to pay attention more to my right hand, I had to start to practice these new thoughts and beliefs because until I started to practice them, until I started to have that record playing in my brain, the old ones were just the ones that were playing. And this is really important because practice is part of changing your mindset. If you want to believe something different, you can’t just say one time oh, you know, I can lose weight for the last time. Cause then all those old thoughts and beliefs are there. And so you have to start to practice.

I want to tell you about an interview I saw once with Michael Jordan. So he’s a pretty famous basketball player. Some say he’s the greatest of all time. You know, I’m not a big sports basketball fan, so needless to say, but I saw an interview with him once and he was talking about how, when he is in practice, right? So if you’re a basketball player, you have practice a lot, right? So probably you practice way more than when you’re in the game, right. You practice all the time. And he said, what made him so good was that when he was in the practice, he thought of it like it was the game. And he had practiced so many times that all of the beliefs, all of the motions, every way that his body moved, it just had become automatic.

And so when he was in the game because of the millions of hours of practice and the millions of times he had thrown that ball to hit the three point shot, it just became muscle memory. And of course, I’m sure when he first started playing, he was in the river of misery. I’m sure there were times because he had failed way more than he had succeeded, but he continued to practice the new beliefs that he was, you know, one of the greatest. And so I use this as an example because he practiced by throwing a ball by believing new things about himself.

And in weight loss, it’s about practicing the tools, the basics that I teach, and practicing new beliefs too. It’s believing one better than what you believe today. If you believe that you can’t lose weight, that it’s hard, that it’s your struggle, a one-better thought could be, I’m learning to lose weight. I’m learning to believe new things about myself. I’m learning to show up for myself. I’m learning to make my realistic plan. I’m learning how to drink more water.

And again, pick one, just one. And then throughout your day, as all of the old thoughts, remember that left hand, all of that bunch of thoughts they come in, you just simply take a breath and practice your new thought, but I’m learning how to lose weight for the last time. And you just do it over and over again. You can write it on a post-it note. You can, even what I find that really helps me when I’m, cause I’m always practicing new beliefs and new thoughts that I want to think, I put a reminder on my phone. There’s a lot of different thought apps where you can have reminders come up on your phone. You can even just use your alarm and make it a silent alarm, even a buzzy alarm so that it comes up certain times of the day. So again, you can see that new thought and it’s just a one better thought.

It’s not a rosy posy, I can’t believe it. Somewhere, you have to believe it a little. You don’t have to fully believe it, but you have to believe that it’s possible. And this practice is just the key. And building new evidence. See my love, when you’re in the river misery and you’re holding, you know, both your hands are full of all of these beliefs and you’re, you know, feeling uncomfortable and you’re feeling just, oh, like this is difficult, right? You have to start building evidence for the beliefs that your you’re holding in your right hand, the new thoughts. You have to build evidence for those, because you have a library of evidence for all of those old nonsense BS thoughts.

So start creating new evidence. So when you have a success, when you do something, when you show up for yourself, when you eat on a plan, when you pay attention, when you leave a couple bites on your plate, that is a success. And when you have a success stop and acknowledge it and tell yourself what you’ve been doing right. Because you want to build that evidence to. See my loves, you’re always going to have thoughts in your right hand and thoughts in your left hand, you’re always going to have these old thoughts pop up. But when you practice the new beliefs, when you start to believe them, over time your old beliefs, your old limiting thoughts, they will start to quiet. It’s not that they go away. I think they’re just always there. They just get quieter. And then it becomes easier for you to believe the new things.

So one, know that this work is not just, I’m going to flip on a light switch and be changed. This work is just a lifetime of deciding to believe new things about yourself and collecting evidence to prove yourself true on your new beliefs. And two, it’s all about practicing. Practicing your new beliefs and practicing your new thoughts over and over again. And three, the river of misery. It’s just the river of misery. It’s a little uncomfortableness. You got this my love. To have like amazing results in your life, I think of myself, I have many amazing results in my life. When I think of so many successes that I’ve had and how I keep growing and failing and learning, and my love, I’m still in the river of misery. I still can hold two beliefs in my head that are conflicting. I just don’t make it mean that anything has gone wrong. Because my love, nothing has gone wrong.

And the transformational questions for today are one, what two conflicting beliefs do you have? What are the old belief that you want to change? And what is the new belief that you want to practice. And two, why does this work matter to you? Why is changing your mindset key?

And if you want to take this work deeper then take my free course. I teach all about the thought cycle, and there’s a free workbook too, so that you can do the work and practice your new beliefs. Go to freebosscourse.com to get the free course. All right my love, I’ll see you next week. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 140. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello my love. So happy to be back with you today. Oh, I’m excited about today’s episode. We are going to dive into waiting for the right time to lose weight. Oh my loves. So I have to tell you ladies about something that I’m doing right now, and if you’re not in it, you want to be in it. And the cool part is you don’t have to do anything. You just have to show up.

I’m going live every single week for the next eight weeks, now seven, on Facebook, on the BFLY Coaching business page. And what I’m doing is this eight-week series on how to get off the diet roller coaster for the last time. You don’t want to miss it. And I’m so excited. I’ve already planned out all eight of the episodes.

They are going to be good. So all you have to do is one, you can go and like the BFLY Coaching business page, and then get notified when I go live. Two, if you’re on my email list I’m going to send an email about this with the link so you can get right to the Facebook live. So the next one is June 2nd, which is this Thursday, right after this releases, at 8:30 PM Eastern time. You want to come, you want to be there. It’s going to be awesome. I love going live on Facebook. I love spending this time with ladies and just hearing the challenges and the struggles, and then also the successes and watching ladies learn this work.

I’ll never forget, when I started to learn this work, I felt like for the first time that I was really going to be able to lose weight for the last time. And I remember, you know, I didn’t totally believe it at the beginning, but as I started to see examples of ladies who are doing this process, and I started to really listen to my teacher and a couple other teachers that I was listening to at the time, I started to know that it wasn’t in a food plan. It wasn’t in an exercise plan. That I actually could lose weight for the very last time by learning how to change my mindset.

Your mindset is just a collection of thoughts, which become your beliefs. That’s all that it is. It’s just a bunch of sentences that run through your brain. And understanding how those sentences produce feelings in your body, and then you feel a certain way, and then you do or don’t do things depending on how you’re feeling because of what you are thinking. And when you can start to believe new things, when you can start to change the thoughts, practice new thoughts, it’s so powerful. So you don’t want to miss out. The best way is to get on my e-mail list.

Take my free course, go to freebosscourse.com. Get on my email list and we’ll make sure that we get that emailed to you so that you can come to all the Facebook lives. So fun. Right?

I want to make sure that you’ve heard too, we are opening on July 12th. We opened in February and then we’ve been closed to the public. And so we’re opening again on July 12^th. We were going to open in June. We wanted to make sure that we were really ready, and I was really excited about doing this eight-week Facebook live, and wanted to put my energy into that. And so we’re going to open on July 12^th. Mark that on your calendars. If you’re not a Transform Boss, Ooh, you want to get in.

I have to say like, there are days where I’m just like, oh my gosh, I just love my Transform Bosses. I love them. I think about them. I just did a Quick Hit. We do these once a week. We just do these 5 to 10 minute videos, the coaches and I, we do them. And it’s just like another way to just, you know, we have the weight loss course, we have coaching calls, we have these deep dive calls where we really do the work and we have workshops, I mean, there’s so much in Transform Boss Weight Loss. One of the other bonuses that we do are these things called Quick Hits. I had shared them on a previous podcast episode, oh, like maybe two or three ago. We’ll put it in the show notes for you so you can get a little taste of them.

But I did one today because I had been thinking about my Bosses. I just think about them. I think about where they’re struggling, where they’re having success. And then I think, okay, how can I help them? How can I make this better for them? And the Quick Hit today was all about how they can have more success in the process. So if you want to be a Transform Boss, mark it on your calendar, July 12th, 2022. Yes.

So today we’re going to dive into this whole idea and thought that we have around waiting, waiting for the right time to lose weight. Have you ever told yourself that you’ll start a diet and exercise plan after X? Now X could be summer, vacation, wedding, job change, basically any event in your life, and you just keep kind of pushing yourself off. You keep saying, oh, I’m so busy right now. You know, I’ll start in a month. I’ll start after I get through this. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I would tell myself when I get through this, I’ll start.

 I’d say this to myself in many different formats, but it was just a way to push myself off. I remember this one time I was finishing my master’s degree. I was in the last year of it, and I had just been promoted to a director and I had moved to Utah, and I had been on this really restrictive nutrition, like from a nutritionist, clean diet plan. And I had really, like, I was feeling amazing actually. But then I moved to Utah and I was transitioning into corporate housing. And then we bought a house and then we were moving into the house and still had a house in Arizona. I mean, we had kids, you know, it was just a lot going on.

I remember I started, because through the transition, I had a ton of emotion. And though I had done really well on this kind of plan, as soon as I started to have transition, I started to have change, I went back to what I had always gone back to, which was emotional eating. I had all of these emotions. I was very stressed. I was under a lot of pressure.

I had a lot of doubt. Like what had I done? Could I do this? Could I do my new job? Could I finish the last year in my master’s degree? And I’m telling you, I was just, I was a mess. And so what I did, like what I had always done, because see food plans, don’t solve emotional eating.

They just say restrict as long as you can. And then when you can’t, you haven’t learned how to fail. You haven’t learned how to feel any emotion. I just used food to get me through it. And then I would tell myself, I remember keep telling myself when I get through this time at my new job, when I finished my masters, when we decide what we’re going to do with our house in Arizona, I just kept telling myself, I’ll start then. I probably gained 25 to 30 pounds over this kind of year, this last year of getting my MBA. It just started with this thought, it’s not the right time to lose weight. I’ll start later. I just kept telling myself that I’d take care of me when it was done.

But what happens when you do that is that my last year of getting my masters, it was the first year of my new promotion and I didn’t feel good. I was eating all the things. I wasn’t feeling great about myself. I wasn’t moving my body. I was, I just kept telling myself that I’d make it through it. But at the same time, I wasn’t taking care of me. I wasn’t taking care of my health. I was feeling bad because I started to gain weight, and then I couldn’t fit in my clothes. And then I was having to go out and buy new clothes, you know, and feeling frustrated and disappointed in myself. And so this thought was really poisonous. And so this is what it looks like.

You first get into this habit of putting yourself off. You really get into the habit of breaking commitments to yourself. You create actual neural pathways in your brain, habits with this thought that it’s just not the right time. I’ll start after X happens. And it just becomes automatic. And so what happens is that every time you start to feel busy or you have a transition, you have this old automatic thought that it’s just not the right time. I thought I could devote the time to it, but it’s just not the right time. When you do this, for a moment, you get some relief, because you’re basically quitting on yourself. You’re basically not showing up for yourself.

So you get this momentary relief. You get some endorphins like, oh, I don’t have to worry about that right now. And you tell yourself, I’ll do this in a few months. And when I do it, I will be perfect at it. So this moves me into the second thing. So you decided I’m going to put myself off. I’m not going to start. It’s not the right time. And then you start having these, you know, fantasies about how, when you start, you’re going to do it perfectly. You’ll eat all the right things. I mean, you’re going to lose it fast. You’re going to lose all your weight in six months, nine months, whatever you tell yourself, right? You are going to be the person who doesn’t eat sugar and carbs. And then you start fantasizing about how you’re telling your family and your friends. And you’re the example. All of this is happening in your brain. And it’s just this fantasy about being perfect.

And then the third thing, the event, the time period that you said, it happens, it passes, and so then you start and then you find that you can’t be perfect. You may start. You may not. You may keep just pushing yourself off, and then you may fizzle out. You don’t know how to fail and not eat all the things. And then you start the cycle all over again. This, I will start again on Monday, next month, next week, after this happens and you do this over and over again.

And I want to tell you why this happens. And this is so important to understand. It really is because of this perfectionistic fantasy that you will suddenly become this super human, right? This perfectionistic fantasy that exists in your head, you’re going to only eat chicken and salad, or maybe you’re never going to eat carbs and sugar. I mean, maybe you’re even going to be a plant-based eater.

You have all these beliefs that you must be perfect. That to live in a healthy body, that you have to do X. Now X, it’s different for all of us. It could be cutting out the carbs, becoming a plant-based eater. It could be, I’m going to run two hours a day. As you are living in this kind of perfectionistic fantasy, what it does is it feels overwhelming. When you think you have to do all the things, you have to cut out the foods, you have to meal prep, you have to eat differently than your family, all the things. Meditate, journal, write a book every morning, not go to certain events because you can’t handle it because you’re scared. You’ll overeat.

I mean, all those thoughts just go over and over. And again, it comes from perfectionism. Perfectionism, it’s just a lie. It is. It’s just this thing that, this fantasy, again, these thoughts that we have in our brain that keep us running on the diet roller coaster and it’s this in or out, off or on, and wanting to be perfect. We believe that it takes this crazy amount of lifestyle change. You know, again, that something is wrong and that we need to be fixed. You don’t need to be fixed. If you want to lose weight for the very last time, you look at what you’re believing. You decide on purpose what you want to think, and you plan on purpose what you want to do, and then you do it. And when you fail, there’s no beat downs or judgment. You just ask why?

So I want to break this down into three simple steps that you can do. Number one, become aware of this thought, I will start on X, whether it’s in the morning, whether it’s next week, whether it’s two months from now, notice when you have this thought, it is a poisonous thought, and it is there. So you take no action. So you actually do nothing. When that thought comes up, I like to practice, this is the thought, you can borrow it from me, I have already started. Ooh, it’s so powerful. It just takes the poison right out of it.

When you tell yourself we’ve already started, we got this, right? When you say that your brain is like, oh yeah, we’ve already started. You leave all of that, I have got to start tomorrow, I’ve got to start next week, I’ve got to start, all of that, you just know, nonsense.

Number two, take a small step forward. You can write a realistic plan, drink more water, check in with your hunger, ask yourself, am I hungry? Does this food fuel me? Is this really what I want to eat right now? Losing weight for the last time is thousands of small decisions and actions. And it’s just the small, mundane, boring decisions that you do throughout the day.

And three, when you overeat, because when you lose weight for the last time, you will have overeats. You will have days that you don’t make a plan. Days that you don’t drink enough water, get enough sleep. You just want to ask yourself why? Why? Am I afraid of something? Am I, was I stressed? Did I have a trigger? Like, you know, I got in a fight with my spouse, whatever it is. Just ask yourself why? Then this is it my love. Take the next best action. Again, one small step.

So I want to give you an example of what this looks like. You overeat because you end up going out to eat rather than cooking at home, which gave you just enough of an excuse to throw it all to the wind. So you go out, you eat off plan, and then on your way home, you realize it. You start telling yourself, okay, we’ll start over again tomorrow. And then you decide as you’re negotiating with yourself, okay, let’s eat the bowl of ice cream. Let’s eat the cookies, let’s eat the chips. You know, we already blew it tonight, so let’s just keep blowing it. And you start to notice this negotiation. As soon as you start to notice, this thought, we’re going to start again tomorrow, we’re going to start again next week, we’re going to eat all the things, then you just simply say, I’ve already started.

And my next best action is to just eat the snack I already had on my plan and then feel proud. Tell yourself that you did it. You took the next best action. This comes back to this concept of talking to yourself more than you listen. It’s this process of just taking the next best action and then feeling proud, allowing yourself to feel the success of it. This is what losing weight for the last time looks like. It’s never starting over because you’ve already started. You know, that you’ll make mistakes, but you just practice your new thought, take the next best action, and move on. No judgment, beat downs, or bingeing needed.

And if you have not taken my free course yet, you for sure want to. Go to freebosscourse.com. I’ll teach you some basics, some really simple things so that you can start your journey to losing weight for the very last time. And make sure that you join the Facebook lives. We’ll also put the replays right here on the podcast. So subscribe so every time I have a new episode, it’s right in your library. All right my love. See you next week.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.