Ep #153: The COST Of Losing Weight For The Last Time Pt. 2

Ep #153: The COST Of Losing Weight Pt. 2

This is the second part of a two-part series where I teach you what the COST of losing weight is and it won’t be what you think it is. If you missed last week, go back and listen to it, episode 152.

Last week I taught you to get off the diet roller coaster for good that there is a cost – there is hard work, but it is the best work of your life. You learned what the C &O was.

Today I will dive deep into the S &T.

We as women work tirelessly for everyone else and show up for everyone in our lives. Isn’t it about time you show up for you!

Getting off the diet roller coaster for good and losing weight for the last time just requires one small decision and action after the next. Are you ready to make that one small decision?

Don’t forget to rate and review the show for our 150th episode giveaway. Rate and review us on iTunes. Or you can go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. You must submit by 08/31 and then email support@bflycoaching.com to enter.

And if you want to take this work deeper, take my free course at freebosscourse.com.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How showing up means doing the hard work and committing to yourself
  • Why it’s so important to talk to yourself more than you listen
  • How to lose weight for good by just making one small decision at a time

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • Listen to episode #152 to learn what the C & O are in COST
  • Make sure you leave a review by August 31, 2022 to be entered into a drawing

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 153. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello Love. So happy to be back with you. Today, I’m going to roll out the second part of a two-part series where I teach you what the COST of losing weight for the last time is. And it’s not what you think it is. If you missed last week, go back and listen to it. Episode number 152. I have been researching and creating a five-month series in Transform Boss called healing you. I think it may be the best work of my life. I have been deep in learning and testing.

I rolled out the first part in our boss event a couple of weeks ago, and then each month inside of Transform Boss membership, I will teach a workshop and we’ll do the work together. I’m teaching my bosses how to heal their relationship with food and themselves. Ooh, my love it is so powerful to heal, to heal from the inside. I am so excited about it. I cannot wait. Now don’t worry. If you’re not a boss, we’re going to open back up in October and we will have the replays available.

Last week I taught you how to get off the diet roller coaster for good, and that there’s a cost to it. There is hard work, but it is the best work of your life. I created an acronym from cost, C O S T. I taught care and ownership, and today I’m going to teach you the S and T. The S stands for showing up. We as women show up for everyone else. We have no problem in showing up for others, doing what they ask, even if we don’t want to. We work so hard for everyone else. Then we think getting a pedicure 45 minutes is self-care, but it really isn’t.

Showing up means doing the hard work, committing to yourself, and showing up, even when you don’t want to. It’s doing the things that in the moment Lizzie’s telling you, I don’t want to do it. It’s saying no to the things that you don’t want to do, or that don’t serve you any longer. You matter. You are worthy. You deserve to show up for yourself. You think you deserve a cupcake, but my love, you deserve a thousand times more than that. You deserve everything you want. And how you get it is by showing up for yourself. Keeping commitments to yourself, failing, learning, and growing. Showing up for yourself is a must. It’s investing in yourself, investing your time and money because you matter my love.

The T stands for talking to yourself. Talking to yourself more than you listen to old beliefs is part of the cost of losing weight for the last time. You have thousands of old programmed beliefs. Beliefs like I can’t lose weight. I’m not good enough. I’m too old. I’m not enough. She is better than me. Weight loss is just my struggle. I’m big boned. It’s my genetics. Love, those are just thoughts, sentences. Just words put together that formed a sentence.

And to get off the diet roller coaster, you must start talking to yourself more than you listen to the old nonsense belief and thoughts. We anchor ourselves in some old version of ourselves and believing that we can’t lose weight or live our dreams. But I am here to tell you it is possible. You can do anything. I mean, anything. You just have to start talking to Lizzie, start telling her that you don’t want to believe that anymore. That you’re going to keep the commitment to yourself.

Talking to yourself more than you listen is in my top three of how I lost weight for the last time. How I went after my dreams, healed relationships. It is a must. There is a cost to losing weight. You must care for your mental, emotional, and physical health, by being aware of what you’re believing and thinking, and feeling, and then reconnecting to your body. Feeling that hunger, feeling fullness, allowing yourself some grace. And love, it is taking ownership, full accountability and agency over you, your life, and your decisions. It’s being completely transparent with yourself. And no beat down included.

And then showing up. You gotta do the work. Ooh, I love hard work. I love how I feel after it. Lizzie will tell me, don’t do it. Don’t show up. Don’t keep the commitment. But I love how I feel after it. And I have to remind myself because I know that after I do the thing, the thing that I don’t want to do, that I’m gonna feel amazing after it. So you just have to keep showing, and you gotta talk to yourself more than you listen. Because you matter, you are worthy, and you got this my love. One small decision, one small action, just over and over again.

If you want to take this work deeper, then go to freebosscourse.com and take my free course. And next week, coach Jenn and I, we’re going to answer all the weight loss questions, she’s been compiling them. Ooh, you don’t want to miss that one. All right my love, bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

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Ep #152: The COST Of Losing Weight For The Last Time

Ep #152: The COST Of Losing Weight For The Last Time

This is the first episode in a two-part series where I teach you what the COST of losing weight is, and it won’t be what you think it is.

We think of the COST of weight loss as money, maybe time invested. We have spent hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars on this “diet roller coaster.” It has cost us a lot.

Join me in this episode as I will go a little deeper and talk about what I think the COST of losing weight is, self-love and really living your best life in a body you love. 

Learning how to invest in yourself, learning the cost of losing weight for the last time – it is work, it is the best work of your life.

Don’t forget to rate and review the show for our 150th episode giveaway. Rate and review us on iTunes. Or you can go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. You must submit by 08/31 and then email support@bflycoaching.com to enter.

And if you want to take this work deeper, take my free course at freebosscourse.com.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • What is truly hard about losing weight, and how we get to choose our hard
  • What caring for your physical, mental, and emotional health really means
  • How being honest with yourself about where you are and where you want to go will lead to weight loss success

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • Make sure you leave a review by August 31, 2022 to be entered into a drawing

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 152. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you today. Today, I’m going to roll out the first of a two-part series where I am going to teach you what the COST of losing weight is, and it’s not going to be what you think it is. Ladies, I am so excited. I just finished the Transform Boss live event this past Saturday as I’m recording this, and it’s a members only event for all my bosses. And I love spending time with my ladies, teaching them, watching their transformations. We have awards. Paul came on. I know it was so fun.

 

And I just love watching ladies show up for themselves, being active. We did breakout rooms, and it just was so amazing. I love the Transform Boss community and just think absolutely we have just the best women, and I love them. And it was just so fun spending this time. We do those events twice a year. It goes so fast and I love it so much. We have been so innovative, my team and I lately and creative thinking of ways that, you know, we can help our bosses have more success. It really is everything to me.

 

I think about all of you ladies, I too am just a human, a woman who struggled with her weight, struggled with her self-worth and loving herself. And now I just want to help women live this life, their best life in a body that they love, and disrupt diet culture. Yes, disrupt it. I want to break the diet industry. I think that losing weight is all about healing ourselves, our relationship with food, and it has nothing to do with the food or dieting. It’s just so important to me. So I hope you’ll come and join me in my mission. I know I love it. Right?

 

So we think of the cost of weight loss as money. Maybe time invested. You know, my love, we have spent hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars on the diet roller coaster. It has cost us a lot. But today I want to go a little deeper and talk about what I think the cost of losing weight, self-love, and living your best life in a body that you love. I created this acronym called COST, C O S T. It has the four parts to what it really costs you to lose weight for the long-term, for the last time, to get off the diet roller coaster for good.

 

I’m going to teach you today about the C and the O and then part two next week, I will go into the S and the T. But before we begin, I want to anchor you into something before I go into the C and O. Hard work. My love, we think losing weight is hard work, that it’s out of our reach. But those are just thoughts. Living in a body that you don’t love, carrying extra weight on your body, not being able to do the things you love, not having energy, obsessing about food and your next meal, well that is hard. I want to teach you that you have to invest in yourself. It’s the best investment you will ever make. And there is a cost.

 

The C is for Care. To get off the diet roller coaster you must learn how to care for yourself and your body. Taking care of yourself, your mental, emotional, and physical health. My love, when you don’t like something, you have frustration with it. You loathe it, you start avoiding it. This is what happens when you don’t love the body you live in.

 

You disconnect from it. Care is about taking care of your body, your mental and emotional health. It’s being aware of old thoughts and beliefs that are guiding your behaviors. It’s changing them with a one-better thought, learning how to feel your feelings, and starting to reconnect with that beautiful, amazing miraculous body of yours. I was so disconnected to my body and feelings. I was a robot walking around, checking things off the to-do list, just surviving, but I wanted more. I wanted more than just surviving. I wanted to live, live my best human life.

 

The O is for ownership. This is so important as you lose weight for the last time, taking full ownership and agency over where you are right now. No beat downs, no victim, poor me, just full transparency. And then from there, you can decide what your next best decision is. I used to lie to myself all the time about what I was thinking, what I was doing, my results, you know. I’d blame it on my mother, my genetics, my circumstances.   Shoot, if my husband brought home ice cream, I’d be like, well, it’s Paul’s fault, he brought home the ice cream. But really, I always have the decision. I was always in control.

 

Love, in this world, I only control what I think, feel and do. I want you to really think about that. We want to control all the things. But the only thing that you really control is how you think about something, what you feel about it, and then what you do. When I take accountability, full ownership, I can heal, forgive, and make decisions from a place of love and commitment for myself. Instead of fear and doubt.

 

I want you to really hear me. This is not about beating yourself up or making yourself wrong. It’s just saying I chose to do the thing. So what? Now, what is my next best action? What is the next thing that I’m going to do for myself? And then you just do that over and over again. Learning how to invest in yourself, learning the cost of losing weight for the last time, it is work. It’s the best work of your life.

 

To summarize, one, caring for your mental, emotional, and physical health means becoming aware of your thinking. Learning how to feel emotion and reconnecting to your body. Two, ownership is taking full accountability and agency over what you’re deciding to do and not do. It’s not beating yourself up or making yourself wrong. It’s just full ownership over you and your human life. It’s just getting real honest about where you are and where you want to go.

 

Next week, I am going to teach the S and the T, and then I’m going to put it all together. You do not want to miss it. Don’t forget to rate and review the show for our 150th episode giveaway. You must submit by August 31st and then email support@bficoaching.com to enter. And if you want to take this work deeper, take my free course at freebosscourse.com. Bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #151: You Never Have To Start Over Again

Ep #151: You Never Have to Start Over Again

We have these limiting beliefs that we need to start over, we are behind, we should do it all. These keep us stuck on the diet roller coaster.

We have learned through diet culture that what we are doing is not good enough and that we need to do more, restrict more, and that leaves us feeling frustrated and hopeless.

Join me in this episode where I teach you what to do so you never have to start over again. 

If you want to take this work deeper, start with my free course. Go to freebosscourse.com.

Please leave us a review so we can reach more women to help them learn to lose weight for good. You could even win an amazing prize.

Rate and review us on iTunes. Or you can go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. When you leave a review, email support@bflycoaching.com. Then, we’ll enter you into a drawing. Please leave your reviews by August 31st, 2022.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How you never have to “start over”
  • How making the next best decision and then taking action from that place is easy
  • How to lose weight and live your best life from just the tiny decisions you make – not big sweeping ones

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • Make sure you leave a review by August 31, 2022 to be entered into a drawing

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 151. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Boy, it has been a time. We went to Delaware and then we rode the train up and we went to New York City. And I have to say, you know, we have not been to New York City since before the pandemic, and we had a blast. It was so fun. We rode the train up from Delaware and we saw Hamilton and we had amazing food as always in NYC. And we just had a really nice time. But we did not have any travel problems. I, you know, I was a little worried about the flights, so we didn’t, it was just great. So it was such a good time. It was. I really relaxed. It’s been a while, and I have to tell you my loves, it was really a good time.

 

So I am excited about today’s episode because it was a request. Actually one of my ladies made the request and it’s all about this thought that we have that we need to start over. It can come up in many different ways. So it can sound like I need to start over, I’m behind, I need to catch up. I’ll start over on Monday. It will be a better time, you know, in a couple of weeks. It’s just these simple thoughts. They come in, they kind of breeze in. But what happens is, when you think you have to start over, you start to feel overwhelmed. And I just want to get to the punchline. My love, you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

 

These sentences, these words that you’re thinking, that you’re not doing enough, that you need to do more, that if you did more life would be better, it’s just like this secret kind of perfectionism/beat down showing up. See, when you start to think you need to do more or start over. Maybe you had a bad weekend. Maybe you overate. Maybe you ate more than what you wanted. I just want to offer you that there really is no “starting over.” I know. Just really think about it. What does it really mean? Starting over. You’re never really starting over. You’re just taking the next best action or you’re making the next decision. That’s what you’re doing.

 

We tell ourselves that we put so much pressure that we have to be perfect. We have to do all the things. We’re behind. You know, this thought I’m so far behind, it’s such a limiting belief. Because when you think you’re behind, then you feel frustrated. You feel disappointed. You feel overwhelmed. And then you actually don’t do anything. You don’t take any action.

 

You just sit in this kind of worry puddle. And I just want to offer you that there is a different way. When you think I need to start over, it starts feeling dramatic. It starts feeling hard. When you think, oh, I’ve got to do all of this again. I’ve, you know, I’ve gained some weight back, whatever it is. And I just want to offer you a different thought. The thought is I am exactly where I am supposed to be. When you think that thought, relief, right, maybe even some hope or some excitement. And when you’re feeling excited, when you’re feeling hopeful, then there’s a better opportunity for you to make the next best decision for yourself.

 

Making the next best decision and taking action from that place, from that thought, it makes it feel easy, hopeful, light. Instead of the thought, I need to start over, I’m not doing enough, right. That’s so heavy. It feels so dramatic. See, weight loss, living your best life, it’s just thousands of tiny decisions. It’s not one or two or even 10 big sweeping ones. We have new bosses right now in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and I have them start slowly, set minimum baselines.

 

So we always start our new bosses out in a 21-day challenge. Now, when you hear 21-day challenge, as a new boss, you might be like, oh no, but as always, I teach minimum baselines. I tell them that I only want them to do maybe two, three or four days of the seven, not seven out of seven. I am teaching them how to retrain their brains, that they don’t need to do all the things. They don’t need to go to extremes. This really starts the healing process. When you know that you don’t have to be perfect, when you don’t have to do all the things, when you don’t have to start over, that you’re going to take doable and simple steps to change habits over time. Love, it is not sexy or some quick fix, but it’s how you lose weight for the long term. It’s how you get off the diet roller coaster.

 

Here are the three steps to never having to start over again. One, notice, become aware when you’re telling yourself I’m going to start over on Monday or I’m going to be good tomorrow. My love, you are good right now. Food does not make you good or bad. That’s just a thought, and you get to decide what you want to believe. Number two, then ask yourself, what is the next best thing? The next best decision that I could do for myself. One step, one small baby step forward, one action. Then make the decision and take the action. And then number three, repeat. Repeat over and over and over again.

 

See, in this beautiful life, we are just imperfect humans. We make decisions one after another. Some of them are for us and some of them just prolong our journey. But when you can become aware of the sentences in your brain, when you’re telling yourself that you have to start over, you now have the tool to challenge that. You just become aware. You ask yourself, what’s the next best thing I can do for myself? You make the decision and you take the action. You never have to start over my love. Ever, ever, ever, or start on Monday. You just take the next best action for yourself. The process I use to lose weight was, is boring. It’s just one small decision and action to the next. I never start over or have to catch up. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. And so are you.

 

If you want to take this work deeper then take my free course. I teach three of my basics to start your journey to losing weight for the very last time. Go to freebosscourse.com. And right now, if you’re listening to this in August of 2022, we are doing a special, 150 episodes giveaway. And so you can rate and review the podcast on iTunes or go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. You can review the podcast in the comments on the blog, then email support@bflycoaching.com. Just tell us where you left the review and where you rated the podcast, and then you will be entered into our drawing. And my love, Ooh, I’m going to give away something spectacular. You do not want to miss it. So very simple. We’ll put the directions in the show notes so you know exactly what to do.

 

Bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #150: The Basics of Weight Loss Success Tips

Ep #150: The Basics of Weight Loss Success Tips

Join me in this special episode where Coach Jenn will be joining me and we will be talking about my basics.

Now my basics are 4 fundamentals that I teach to get you off the diet roller-coaster for good.

I know for most of us, we have tried all the diets out there, looking for that magical pill or solution, exercise plan, etc. But I teach you a different way.

How to meet yourself where you are at, find your successes, change your thoughts, and slowly up level.

We will dive deep into these 4 fundamentals, including lots of tips on how to lose weight in a way that you can always do.

Our bodies really are amazing. We just need to start paying attention to them again.

Are you ready to stop being a member of the “clean plate club” and learn to just listen to what your body needs?

If you want to take this work deeper, start with my free course. Go to freebosscourse.com.

And please leave us a review so we can reach more women to help them to learn to lose weight for good. You could even win a prize. Rate and review us on iTunes. Or you can go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. When you leave a review, email support@bflycoaching.com. Then, we’ll enter you into a drawing. Please leave your reviews by August 31st, 2022.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How meeting yourself where you are at leads to your success
  • How to become the scientist of your own body
  • How to change your thoughts from that negative thinking
  • What our body basics are, and why they are so important

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • To learn more about my fundamentals listen to previous podcasts episodes #6 and #106 (Realistic Plan); #9 and #107 (Becoming the Scientist of Your Body), #11 and #108 (Body Basics), and #19 and #105 (Reflection Work)

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 150. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello my love. I am so excited to be here, and I have a very special episode today. 150, can you even believe it? I can’t believe it. 150 weeks, I have been in your ears, for many of you. So I just one, first want to say, I appreciate you. I appreciate all the ladies from all over the world who listen to this podcast. I just love you and want all your success. And today what I wanted to do is first, Jenn Taylor, coach Jenn from Transform Boss Weight Loss, she’s going to join us. And then second, you know I love a good giveaway. So that’s what we’re going to do.

 

So if you’re listening to this podcast, we are going to give away some prizes for leaving a review. So if you like the podcast, leave a review. Here’s the process. We’ll also put this in the show notes, but basically leave a review, rate it and review it on iTunes. Or you can go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. You can also leave a review there. When you leave a review, then email support@bflycoaching.com. And then what will happen is we’ll enter you into a drawing. Now I’m going to ask that you leave the reviews by August 31st, 2022.

 

And when you leave the review and email support@bflycoaching.com, just telling us which review you left, because, you know, especially in iTunes, the names are a little different, then you’ll be entered in. And I am going to give away some fabulous things. So you don’t want to miss out. You know, ratings and reviews just help spread this show. It helps so that they can hear how to get off the diet roller-coaster, and how to have a little more love for themselves.

 

So today, Jenn and I are really going to get into the basics. In Transform Boss Weight Loss we have four basic components. These are the basics. Now we go in depth, there’s so much more, but I love having these fundamentals, these basics, because this is how you really start to heal the relationship that you have with yourself and with food. And so the four basics, the first one, we’ll kind of get into each one. And then we’re just going to tell you our tips, how we’ve either seen ladies really be successful with these or how we use them ourselves. Jenn and I both do these every day. They’re important to us. They’ve helped us along our journey. And so we just want to share some goodies with you.

 

So the very first fundamental in Transform Boss is the realistic plan. If you don’t know what it is, you can go back to episode six, and episode six will give you all the details. You can also take my free course, right? Lots of ways to learn about it. But the gist of it is, it’s a coaching tool where you learn how to start to become aware of your thoughts about food. It kind of masquerades as a plan, but it’s not really, you write down what you’re going to eat. But the true importance of it is you starting to keep a commitment to yourself.

 

You’re starting to allow yourself to meet yourself where you’re at right now, not some dietary food plan. And it’s a way that you can see like, are you making it too diety? Are you resisting? You’re not making it. It’s just a really good tool so that you can see the commitment that you have to yourself. And you can start to self-coach and ask yourself questions.

 

So the gist of it, every night, you just write down what you’re going to eat the next day. You make it, you meet yourself where you’re at. If you’re, if you’ve been eating two Chick-fil-A sandwiches and Chick-fil-A fries every day for lunch, then that’s what you eat, that’s what you’re going to put on it. Ladies will ask Well, how am I going to lose weight? The first part of losing weight for the last time is healing your relationship with food, and doing it slowly and meeting yourself where you’re at. So you’re just going to put the food that you’re going to eat. You’re not going to make it as one of my members, Jerica, she said this phrase and I loved it, you’re going to make it realistic, not idealistic.

 

For me, I write my plan every day. I don’t have a lot of confusion or drama about it. And if I ever eat off plan, my tip for all of you ladies is just to ask yourself why? Like what’s happening? I just say this simple phrase to myself, like what’s happening love? And I just inquire into like why? Was it, you know, because I was stressed, which most cases, right? Or was it because I was feeling other emotions I didn’t want to feel. And so just getting honest about like, why did I eat off plan. No judgment, no beat downs. Just asking myself why?

 

Everything that we’re going to teach you, it all comes back down to learning how to self-coach, because the bigger part of this process is the healing that comes from that. So Jenn, Jenn Taylor, she’s a coach in Transform Boss Weight Loss, coach Jenn, I mean, she’s a regular on the show, she’s beautiful and amazing. Jenn, I’m going to have you introduce yourself, because all the ladies know you and if you don’t know her, listen to a previous episode she’s on here. She is amazing. So you’ve been doing the realistic plan for a good bit. You’ve coached ladies who are doing the realistic plan. What would you tell ladies about this first basic? How to start to do it? How to be successful? Any tips you have for them?

 

Yeah, you know, there’s going to be certain times in the month or throughout the year that, you know, you might want some extra food. It might be that time of the month. You might be doing more movement and you’re just needing more fuel for your body. But just starting to pay attention. You mentioned meeting yourself where you’re at, and so starting there of course, but as you’re doing that, just pay attention to these times that you maybe are like, you know, I need a little bit more food than what’s on my plan. And see if there’s a pattern. You’ll start to really get in tune with your body and just be able to tell certain times of the month or certain activities that you’re doing. Maybe it’s even a celebration that you’re like, you know, I want to go and enjoy some of the extra food at the barbecue,

 

whatever it is. So plan for those times for extra food.

 

And you’ll learn to just lose that shame along with it. Because I think a lot of us carry this shame or have carried in the past, the shame of wanting a piece of cake, right? Like I shouldn’t have that, and you can have that and you can still lose weight. That’s the best part of this all.

 

And the second tip that I would say is just begin to make it a habit, right? When we start doing something. When I know when I started the realistic plan, I resisted for a long time. I wanted it to be perfect because I didn’t want to eat off plan or mess up. That made me a failure. But what I would offer to you is that it’s not going to be perfect. But the more that you can consistently do it and keep showing up, and learning from it and changing it, tweaking it to what you need, and just making that a habit, that is where you’re going to see all the benefits from this.

 

I love all of that because this is so important ladies. This is why another reason I could give you a hundred reasons, but another reason is why diets don’t work is because your bodies, they need different fuel amounts on different days, and diets don’t account for that. They’re just like, okay, every day you’re going to eat 1200 calories. You’re going to have cut your carbs out. You know, all these things. And sometimes your body really needs a lot of carbs. You know, I think about women who are still menstruating, your body needs carbs. So like, there’s just certain things, hormonal times, there’s just different things where your body needs different things.

 

And that leads us right into our next fundamental, which is the food part. And this is all about fuel food and hunger and fullness. And this second fundamental is really about reconnecting to your body. And I love that Jenn gave you such an amazing tip, because, you know ladies, we’ve been so disconnected from our bodies. We don’t know when we’re hungry. We don’t know when we’re full. Our body is like, I’m physically hungry and we’ve just ignored it for so long that we don’t know. And we don’t know what food feels like in our body.

 

You know, I would say this was one of the ones that when I very first started this process was more difficult for me. And what I mean by that is like getting and seeing how food actually felt in my body. Now, what I mean by that. So I don’t call food healthy or not healthy, good or bad. Food is either fuel food for me, meaning that it energizes me. It keeps me full for a long period of time, a few hours. Or it’s non-fuel, which is a food that doesn’t keep me satiated. It doesn’t keep me full for long. I might feel like I need to take a nap after I eat it. That’s non-fuel.

 

And in between that is neutral. And neutral food is just food that I eat it, I feel fine, I don’t necessarily feel energized. I just feel kind of neutral. And it keeps me satisfied or feeling kind of full for a bit. If you eat something, no matter what it is, and 30 minutes later, you’re starving, it’s probably a non-fuel for you. See, I have foods that people would consider “healthy.” They’d say, oh, that’s so healthy, but it doesn’t agree with my body. It’s a non-fuel for me, because it doesn’t keep me satiated. Fruit is one of those things. When I eat fruit, I like it. I include it. But if I eat a lot of fruit, it’s just non-fuel for me.

 

Now I have ladies who love fruit, even my husband, oh my gosh, when he eats berries, it’s a fuel for him. It gives him energy. It keeps him full. And so all of our bodies are different. And so this really comes down to you becoming the scientist of your own body. Now, when it comes to hunger, when it comes to fullness, you have these hormones, ghrelin and leptin. But my love, we’ve just ignored them because we’ve just been eating and not paying attention, eating a lot of non-fuel food. And once you start to pay attention, what happens over time as you heal your relationship with food, you’ll notice that you want more fuel food. You want to feel better. You start to enjoy.

 

There are fuel foods like potatoes for me, like lots of rice. Oh my gosh. So good. Love it. But before I would tell myself, I can’t have it. I can’t have the carbs. Right? I’m on Atkins. I mean, it’s so crazy, but I lost weight, eating potatoes and rice, and it is a fuel food for me. So you get to decide what fuels your body and what doesn’t. And then you ask yourself two simple questions. Am I physically hungry? And how does it feel in my body? That’s how you start to see how food feels in your body. And if you’re even physically hungry. There are times where I think I “should eat,” but I’m not physically hungry.

 

Guess what my love, I just don’t. I wait. And then I check in with myself again in an hour. And if I’m physically hungry, then I eat. We have been told when to eat, what to eat, all these things. And my loves, 71% of the population is overweight or obese. It’s not working. It’s not working because no one, your body, just like your fingerprint, is unique and it needs different things, different times of the month, different amounts of fuel, non-fuel. And I want to say this, because this is really important. I include all of it. That’s my tip for you. My tip for you is I include fuel food, non-fuel food, neutral food. It’s all on my plan.

 

I just noticed that over the years, my ratio to non-fuel to fuel has increased. Even though there could be times of the month or different times of the year where I start to have a little more non-fuel. I get to adjust it to how my body is feeling and what I need, and also what I want to enjoy. Yes. And that’s how I lost weight for the last time. I lost weight eating the foods that I was always going to eat for the rest of my life. If you lose weight on cutting out all the carbs like keto or whatever, and you think, oh, once I lose the weight, I’m going to add those back in, you will regain your weight. I know because I’ve done it.

 

So have you. You have to lose weight in a way that you can always do. So Jenn, this one, I think for ladies can be difficult because we’ve been so disconnected. They’re like Shannan, I don’t know what fuel is, I don’t know what non-fuel is. When you very first start this work, I see ladies in Transform Boss, they really work like to do it right, to ask themselves two questions. But what tips would you have for the ladies?

 

Yeah, I think, you know, this one has really been drilled into our brains that there’s good foods and bad foods and that we need to cut things out. So one of the tips that I would give, and Shannan touched on it a bit, is just try as many different foods as you can. Right. Really become that scientist. Because I know specifically there’s multiple ladies in Transform, like Shannan mentioned, that potatoes on most diets would be considered a carb and to starch and they’d cause you to gain weight. But for a lot of ladies, they are fuel food and myself included. And so just starting to lose and pay attention to when those diet thoughts come in, I can’t have this, I shouldn’t have this. Right.

 

And just really become that scientist and test out the different foods. Just slow down, see how they feel in your body. Test it, you know, check in 10 minutes after, 30 minutes after, and just see how you’re feeling. And naturally, as you start to pay attention, you’ll start to be able to identify, oh, I’m feeling a little lethargic, or I feel like I have so much energy, and you’ll just start to get that process. Another thing I would like to add is portion size is a big deal. I have certain foods that if I eat, pizza is one of them, it can be a neutral food, but if I eat more than two slices, it becomes a non-fuel food. Just paying attention and playing with your portion sizes as you’re figuring this out, you know, you’re trying to pay attention to fuel food and along with how much you need. And so just give yourself grace as you’re figuring this out, and really think of it as kind of this experiment. You’re just testing different things.

 

Two signs that are I would leave as the last tip with this is we hear that ladies struggled to know when they’re hungry, but we also, I think struggled to know when we’re full. We just have this clean plate club, right? All of these things that we have to finish, we don’t want to waste our food. And so two signs that really have helped me figuring this out is when I’m looking for the perfect bite, right? So I’m waiting for that same hit that I had that first bite. Or one of my signs of fullness is when I sigh. My body naturally will just sigh when I’m full and you know, sometimes even until this day, I want to ignore it and be like, no, I still want more of it. And I just have to have that conversation with myself and make a choice.

 

Right. But just starting to pay attention to how your body tells you when you’re full, because you have natural built-in signs that your body will give you as well. I love all of those. I love the sigh. Yeah, me too. And for me, one of my biggest triggers is when I start panicking, just like you said, and I started looking for that perfect bite. Like I’ve got to, Ooh, let me rewarm this up. Cause I need it hot again. Then I’m like, oh wait, I’m full. Right. What’s happening is your lizard brain, your amygdala, is like, oh my gosh, she’s going to stop eating, but it tastes so good. I want more of it.

 

And then, but you’re getting hunger. You’re no fullness cues saying, Hey, we’re full. We don’t need any more. It’s just this little internal battle that’s going on. So anytime you start kind of panicking, trying to get that last few bites and you want it to taste good. Remember that’s actually a trigger that you’re full. And so just paying attention to that. And you know, ladies, I want to say this now, I’m going to say it again at the end, we’re going to give you four basics, but I want you to start with one. If you’re not in Transform Boss Weight Loss, you might not have all of the support and all of the tools and the videos and all the things to support you. And so I want to make sure that you don’t overwhelm yourself. You’re not going to start with all four. You’re going to pick one of the basics. You’re going to start with it. You’re going to do it. And then you’re going to keep upleveling until you know, you have it. Just one at a time. My love, don’t try to do all of them at one time. It’s too overwhelming. And I don’t want, I don’t want you to do that.

 

That leads me into our third fundamental, our third basic. And that is reflection work. Now for me, I mean, they’re all so important. It’s so tough. But this one for me has changed my life. Just in so many different areas of my life. Reflection work is different than journaling. Again, we’re going to put the original podcast in the show notes for you, but it’s just really about taking all of those kind of puddle thoughts, those limiting beliefs, those negative thoughts, and just throwing them down on a sheet of paper, getting them out of your head on a sheet of paper. It’s so simple. Every morning I take a sheet of paper and I just kind of dump out my brain. We call it a thought dump.

 

I just dump out the negative, the worry, the doubt, all of those things on a piece of paper. And then I just pick one thought. One thought to dive into it, to decide, okay, here’s what I’m thinking. So I’m thinking today, I’ll give you an example. I ate off plan yesterday. Let’s just say that happened to you. And then you’re thinking I’m a failure. I’m going to fail. So that thought is limiting, right? And then it makes you feel frustrated and then you want to overeat. So just writing that thought cycle down. Here’s my thought, here’s my feeling. This is what I do. And then you’re going to either allow yourself to just feel frustrated, which you can.

 

It’s good to feel all the feelings. Or you can decide that you want to think a one better thought. That’s what I like to call it. It’s just one better than that negative thought. So if the negative thought is I’m a failure, one better than that could be well, I’m learning how to have grace for myself. I’m learning how to lose weight in a way that is different. I’m learning how to have love and forgiveness for myself. Just something better. It doesn’t have to be, I love myself, everything is great, everything is wonderful. No, you know, rainbows and fairies. It’s just one better than that negative thought. And then throughout the day, when that negative thought comes in, you’re just going to quickly replace it with that one better thought.

 

This simple process, it takes me not even five minutes. I dump out my brain. I pick a thought, I do a thought feeling action, and then I just quickly think of a one better thought. I love to borrow them, right, from others too. I love for me, some of my favorite thoughts are everything is for me and I can figure anything out. And so whenever my brain is like in doubt, worry, my brain is like, oh my gosh, the sky is falling. I’m just like, I can figure this out. Everything is for me. And so I practice that thought throughout the day and it just brings calm to me.

 

So Jenn, reflection work, I know it’s been life-changing for you too. What would you tell the ladies about it? Reflection work is everything. Cause this thought model is what we base our coaching off of. And so it really has changed everything for me, not just, you know, my thoughts about weight, but in all aspects of my life. Reflection work is really where I start to ask myself questions. And when I can start to ask myself questions, that is when you get to shine a light on it. You get to most of the time see how silly your thoughts are. Because you know, like Shannan said, we think the sky is falling, and really, if we take a step back, it’s not.

 

One of my favorite things with doing a thought dump is writing out all my thoughts and then circling, what are facts and what are thoughts? Because what you’ll find will happen most of the time is you’ll circle probably two facts out of the 80 thoughts that you have. And these are just thoughts. And if you know anything about this work, if you’ve listened to any other podcasts, you know that just because we have a thought, it doesn’t make it true. We get to choose our thoughts. We get to choose what we want to believe. A tip that I would give, something that’s I mean, I love, love, love. Everything is for me. That is something I also use all the time.

 

But a tip, if you’re struggling to come up with a new thought, something that’s been very helpful for me and the ladies that I coach. So if your thought is I am a failure, taking that thought and your new thought could be something like I am learning that believing I’m a failure is not serving me or is not leading me to show up in the way I want, you just kind of flip your thought onto I’m learning that believing this old thought is not serving me. And I just find that so helpful if you’re struggling to come up with a new thought.

 

But I also want to touch on that I think that as Shannan mentioned, it’s so important that we allow ourselves time to sit in those feelings. Because for so long, I ran away from feelings of sadness and anger and frustration. And when you can just say, you can allow yourself and just say, you know, I’m just going to be angry for five minutes. I’m going to sit here or maybe the day you want to choose to stay angry, but then you’re being intentional about it. You’re not making any off comments, right? You’re not acting from this place. You’re just allowing yourself to feel it. And then when you’re ready, you can go move on to that next better thought.

 

I love that Jenn, feeling your feelings. We go deep into this in Transform Boss. Because ladies, we have been pushing down those feelings. We’ve been pushing them down with cupcakes and all the things. I mean, for me, cupcakes, it could be something else for you, but for sure, because we don’t want to feel it. And I love when Jenn just said, just sit with it, allow yourself to feel it without going and acting on it. Buffering because most of the time, this is what happens, ladies. When we don’t feel our feelings, we act. But the person who is usually the person we’re acting out against is ourselves. We’re overeating over-spending, over social media, over Netflixing, we’re doing things at our own expense.  And so just allowing yourself to feel the feelings, Ooh, that’s good. Ooh, I like it Jenn.

 

Okay. So our fourth and last basic or fundamental is what I like to call body basics. I mean, you know ladies, we got these beautiful bodies and they’re miracles. I don’t even know, they’re so miraculous. Like when you really research the body and the brain and how it all works together and all the things that your body is consistently readapting to and regenerating. And I mean, it’s honestly amazing. I would say 90%, you don’t even know, it’s just doing what it’s supposed to do, but your body needs some things. It needs sleep. It needs water, hydration. And it also needs breath, deep, relaxing breath.

 

Understanding that these are really important things. Sleep. You know my loves that’s when you really regenerate. It’s when your body repairs throughout the night. Hydration. Now I want to talk about hydration for a moment because you get water from food, of course your liquids and so on and so forth. And you being hydrated is important because when you are dehydrated, your body goes into survival mode. Your body goes into hold on to everything. We’re dying. Because if you don’t drink for three or four days, you will pass. Your body. You have to have hydration. And so the way that, you know, if you’re hydrated is just simply looking at your urine. Is it dark or medium dark? You probably need to get some water in.

 

Now you can get that water in from different sources. You can, you can get it from food, but you can get it from water. You can put in the little Crystal Light, I don’t know, the different little packets. But it’s a signal that your body needs hydration. You know, you just can’t live without it. And it’s so important in a weight loss journey, because what happens when you’re dehydrated, when you are sleep deprived, your body’s just going to send all sorts of fake signals. You’re hungry. You need to eat more. You’re going to go into that automatic part of your brain. And then it just feels more difficult. Sleep and hydration. So important. And breath. There are many times where I just take a deep breath. My brain is going quick. I feel super like, especially when I have a lot going on and I just take that breath.

 

So Jenn, body basics, so important. Any tips that you have for the ladies on how to incorporate this into just kind of their daily life? What comes to mind for me when I think back to when I started these basics and really focusing on them, when it comes to water, don’t think that you have to hit your 100 ounces of water or whatever, when you’re starting, right? If you’re just right now only drinking eight ounces, then maybe start with doubling that. Again, meeting yourself where you’re at is the quickest way to success. I think when we even with sleep, right, if you’re only getting four hours, don’t shoot for seven.

 

When we try to skip ahead and be where we want to be, we just stay stuck. And then we’re frustrated that we’re not meeting these expectations. And so the best thing is meeting yourself where you’re at now, and then slowly upleveling. One of the tips for water for me is just starting in the morning, first thing. I noticed a complete difference when I started drinking water the minute I wake up, even digestive wise, versus if I don’t. Some days it will be four o’clock and I will be like, no wonder I’m so thinking I’m hungry all day. I’m getting these hunger signals, but really it’s just thirst. It’s just that I’m dehydrated. And the same with sleep. I notice such a difference for me. I am and have always been a solid sleeper. I get seven to eight hours, but if I don’t get that, I notice that I just show up a completely different way the next day. And so some tips for that is just creating a routine at nighttime, whatever that looks like for you. Of course, I’m not fabulous at this always, but they say put electronics away, right? No TV. I still watch TV before bed, but I really do try to stay off social media, things like that, because I do notice a difference for me, you know, when my nose is stuck in my phone right before bed.

 

And breathing, I’m a big fan of breathing. I’ve noticed that when I can take the time, you know, when I’m feeling frustrated or overwhelmed and I take a step back, take some deep breaths, and then again, practice the thought that it really just does calm everything for me and lets me go back into what I’m doing and refocus, Ah, ladies, this is the thing about the basics, the fundamentals of what I teach. I know if you are a woman and you’ve been on the diet roller coaster for 5, 10, 20, 50, 60 years, you want to get off.

 

And the way for long-term weight loss is this slow process of reconnecting to your body, believing new things through reflection work, and throwing in some things that make it easier, like getting your sleep and getting your water. That is the process. I want to re-emphasize to just start with one. Pick, okay, I’m going to start with realistic plan or I’m going to start with becoming a scientist and just kind of see, you know, how food starts to feel in my body. Again, I don’t want you to do this every day either when you’re beginning, right? You know, we have this term that we call in Transform Boss, it’s called minimum baselines, and basically what that is, is, you know, instead of setting yourself up for failure, I’m going to do it every day.

 

You say, okay, I’m going to do it two out of the seven days or three out of the seven days. Ladies, I want you to have success, and to have success, you have to do this process slowly. And I know your brain is so used to like, no, I want it off. I want the weight off. How has that worked? I just want you to ask yourself that question, because I tell ladies you’re going to lose weight the fastest you’ve ever lost it because you’re going to lose it and keep it off for good. See, I was on the diet roller coaster for 38 years and this process took me about two, two and a half, and so it was the fastest compared to the 38 years of dieting, of losing and gaining and losing and yo-yo dieting.

 

And so I just want something different for you. Jenn, what tip would you have for a lady who is new to us? Who’s just starting to learn this work, what would you tell her? I would say to give yourself grace. And remind yourself that you’re learning something new. And with that comes failure, comes figuring new things out. Right? Trying different ways. And it’s not going to be perfect. I mean, it will never be perfect. You know, there’s going to be times that you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, but that’s okay, because you don’t, you’re just learning. Just reminding yourself and giving yourself the credit that you are trying something different and new, even though you might be scared anyway. Keep showing up day by day, step-by-step and you’ll get there. And lean into the community that we provide, the support that we provide. Even if you’re not in Transform there’s other avenues to still get support, but just keep showing up.

 

Yeah, you got this my love. Jenn, Thank you for coming on. I love when Jenn comes and joins us. If you want to take this work deeper, start with my free course. It’s a great way. I talk about the three basics, three of the four. Just so again, you can go deeper into this work. So you can go to freebosscourse.com. And I will talk to you next week. All right, bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women.  If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #149: The Fear of Gaining It Back

Ep #149: The Fear of Gaining It Back

Join me in this episode as I dive dep into the fear around gaining the weight back and how to believe new things.

To get off the diet rollercoaster you have to start becoming aware of your thoughts and then learn to believe new things.

Whether you are fearing gaining your weight back, or if you haven’t even lost a pound, or you’re on a plateau, or you’ve lost your weight, I will give you 5 tips around that fear of gaining the weight back.               

Believing new things, learning how to heal your relationship with food, it is the way to long term weight loss.

Because you are beautiful and amazing right now today. The number on the scale does not define you or your worth.

If you want to take this work deeper than go take my free course at freebosscourse.com.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How your thinking will always be the determining factor in your results, in your outcomes
  • How to start to identify with who you are today – not your old identity
  • How to lose weight in a way that you can always do, eating all the foods

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 149. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Ooh 149 ladies. I can’t believe it. Hello my love. So happy to be here with you today. We have new ladies in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and I am just loving them up. We also in August have our Transform Boss live this month. I love it. It’s twice a year. We do a virtual event just for ladies who are in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and it’s a half day event with the ladies, oh, I just can’t even. And this theme in August is all about becoming the hero of your own story. Ladies, it’s going to be good.

 

So, you know, I love this topic because I think for so many women, including myself, we have this fear of gaining the weight back. Because we have. And we felt so much shame about, you know, when we gained weight back. It was, you know, people could see it. They knew that we had failed, and it was on the outside of us. And so when I was losing weight, I had failed so many times. I would lose a few pounds and then shoot, I’d gain it back in a weekend. Or I would buckle down, lose 50 pounds, and gain it back over the next year. I did this so many times and I developed this fear of “what if I gain it back?” and that’s in quotation marks.

 

So what would happen is I would not even really start to “try again.” Or if I did, I was kind of halfway in. I want you to ask yourself right now, you can pause this or just ask yourself in your head, do I fear that if I lose my weight, I’ll gain it back? Or will I gain back the weight that I’ve already lost? Just ask yourself that question, and just see what pops in your head. It’s important to know what just popped in your head so that you can be aware of your thinking. Because your thinking will always be the determining factor in your results, in your outcomes.

 

If you want to lose weight and get off the diet rollercoaster for good, you have to one, be aware of your thoughts, and two, start believing new things. I see this with my bosses. You know, they’re losing weight, or they’ve lost it, they’re in maintenance, but they are anchored into some old identity that did not have the tools or the support that they have now. So they start to have this fear.

 

See what happens is you can anchor yourself into an old identity. And it’s so important to understand this. For many, many years, I anchored myself into the identity of a 22-year-old single mom who was overweight and didn’t know what to do. I love her when I think about my 22-year-old self, but it’s not who I am today. My thinking, my actions, my beliefs they’ve changed. And so I had to start to identify with who I am today. I had to find the successes that are really happening, not the old beliefs. See, you’re always evolving, you’re changing.

 

And our brains, a lot of the times, they just don’t reconcile with who we are. Remember, our brain is always scanning for danger, and we have all the old memories and beliefs that are stored in our automatic brain. And so our brain can get anchored into some old version of ourselves, even though that’s just not even who we are anymore. As you’re learning my process to get off the diet rollercoaster and lose weight for the very last time, as you’re deciding to believe new things, you have to start believing that you’re losing it for the last time.

 

This belief that I’m not going to gain it back, that you’re losing it in a way that you can always do, how you’re losing it is how it’s always going to be. I saw a post the other day on social media of someone who had lost weight, was feeling super proud. She’s absolutely gorgeous. This is someone who I’m just, you know, acquaintances with, it’s outside of my process, and she said this statement that she’d start reintroducing carbs once she had lost the weight. I love her. And I hope that she keeps it off for good. But my initial thought was, oh no, she’s not losing it in a way that she can always do.

 

See in my experience, if you don’t lose it in a way that you can always do, eating all the foods, healing your relationship with food so you don’t have fear, so your body also gets accustomed to losing weight and maintaining weight eating all the foods that you enjoy, that you like, what happens is you’ll lose the weight and then you’ll start to eat like you did prior to losing the weight, even if you don’t eat as much, but you’ll start to regain it. And this is so important, because losing your weight, believing new things, learning how to heal your relationship with food, it is the way to long term weight loss. If you are fearing gaining your weight back, whether you haven’t even lost a pound, you’re on a plateau, or you’ve lost your weight, here are five just tips I have for you.

 

One, ask yourself the question, is this a fear that I have? Do I fear gaining the weight back? And how is it affecting me? See, this awareness is just the first step. Understanding that this could be a fear that you have that is actually sabotaging your weight loss, it’s actually keeping you from moving forward. Or maybe you’re starting to gain weight back, and just understanding that it’s just coming from a fear from an old belief.

 

Two, find the successes that you have today and who you are today. Identify with who you have become, not some old version of yourself. Three, lose weight slowly. Really slowly, methodically, by healing your relationship with food and yourself. Four, lose weight in a way that you can always do, eating all the foods. Do not diet. My love, stop the quick fixes. They do not work for long-term weight loss. Look at any study. Look at the percentages of folks who lose weight long-term. They just do not work. And number five, give yourself some love and grace. Because you are beautiful and amazing right now today. The number on the scale does not define you or your worth.

 

And if you want to take this work deeper than go take my free course at freebosscourse.com. It’s where I take this work deeper. So good, and teach you my basics. All right my love. I will see you next week. Talk to you for a very especial 150th episode. I can’t wait. Join me next week. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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