Ep #157: How Dieting is Sabotaging Your Weight Loss

Ep #157: How Dieting is Sabotaging Your Weight Loss

When the pandemic was in full force and food & toilet paper became scarce, did you find yourself buying a little more when you could find it?  Maybe your favorite drink or food, you could not find on the store shelves, so you searched for it and when you found it, you bought more than you needed?

When we think we can’t have the cupcake, then all we want is the cupcake.

Join me in this week’s episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women, where I teach you what to do and how to start to shift your mindset around food.



Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christensen, episode number 157. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christensen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Can you believe we are almost in October? We are going into my favorite time of the year, and I just cannot wait. I love the holidays. I love Fall. I like Winter in Arizona. I love all of it. Ooh, today’s show is so good. We’re gonna talk about dieting and how it’s changed the way that you think. And you might not even know how it is sabotaging your weight loss.

Oh, it’s a good one. So let’s talk about the holidays ladies. Oh my goodness, they are coming. They’re coming strong. Can you even believe it? I know 2022, it has gone so fast. And you know, as I think about ending this year, I think about how I started and the goals that I’ve had for myself and for my team and my family. And I think about, you know, years, they just go so fast. And I would say when I was on the diet roller coaster, the end of the year, I just kind of powered down. And now I am like, let’s go. Let’s finish strong. Because my love, every day we get this opportunity to show up for ourselves.

And I think we have, I know I did, these thoughts around the holidays that they were just overwhelming, so much to do. I went to parties I didn’t wanna go to. I did things I didn’t wanna do, and now I curate the holidays and the way that I love them. I do the things that myself and my family love, and I show up for myself and it is just, ooh, that’s what I wanna help you do. And we are gonna do our Finish Strong challenge. Yes ladies, finish strong. It’s gonna start on October 17th. We’re gonna have registration up shortly. So watch, you know, my social media, Instagram, you can follow me there. Or you can go to BFLY Coaching on Facebook.

 And of course if you’re on my email list, you’ll get plenty of emails about it. But ladies, we’re gonna finish strong. I am gonna do an eight-day challenge and it is gonna be amazing. It is the last challenge of the year. The last one my loves. So you for sure wanna make sure you get registered for that. And then we’re gonna open Transform Boss for the last time, and it’s the last public opening until March of 2023. I know. So you wanna get in my love. We’re gonna open that up on October 18th.

All right my love. So let’s get into this show today. So diet culture, you know, I want you to think about how long you have been on the diet rollercoaster or how long you have been dieting in some form or fashion. And dieting really is known. If you look back, I mean, I think about when I very first started dieting, it’s known for restriction cutting out food groups, right? Sometimes it’s high fat, sometimes it’s low fat, sometimes it’s high carbs, sometimes it’s low carbs. There is this element to dieting, and I would say it’s the focus is that you must eat less, move more.

You know that old saying, right? But it doesn’t work. And I know this, there’s scientific proof. And the reason why is because, you know, if you look at our country and we have a 70% who are overweight, and if I look at all the women, including myself, that I work with, that I know, diet rollercoaster is this horrible ride that we have all been on. And it started the first time that you decided that something wasn’t right with yourself, right? You, you wanted to lose a few pounds and you started telling yourself that, you know, I’m not good enough, so let me go to this outside external diet, and you know, it’ll fix me. But it doesn’t.

So I wanna talk about our brain. You know, I love the brain ladies. Our brain is wired mostly to keep you alive. It’s, its number one purpose. Also, we’re wired to stay comfortable. So we want to avoid pain and seek pleasure. It’s really important to understand how your brain is wired. I think my love for so long, I thought something was wrong with me. I kept telling myself if I could just be normal, right? But normal in this country is overweight. And so I had to learn how my brain was wired, because I wasn’t broken and neither were you. When you understand how your brain is wired, when you understand that there’s reasons for the things that you do, then you can take back your power.

You can take back the control and you can start to become the hero of your own story. Now, knowing that your brain, it’s number one job is survival, right? If you know that, then you know that diets restriction, it actually triggers scarcity. And when you think a resource is scarce, one of your fundamental needs, right? We need food, water, air, shelter, right? These are our basic needs. When you think food is scarce, then your body is gonna go into its automatic mode. It’s gonna go into your primitive brain, Lizzy, and you are gonna do everything that you can to get food, to hoard food, to get a lot of food, because you have this scarcity around food.

I want you to really think about this. See, the first time I, I remember when I started to think of food as a scarce resource, it’s when I started to diet. It’s when I started to think I couldn’t have all the food. That there were certain foods that I couldn’t have. That I needed to eat less, that I needed to eat a thousand calories or 1200 calories. I was wiring my brain diets equal danger. And this is important because I know my love, you think, Oh, I just can’t lose weight long term, because I’m sure you’ve had success like me, I had success. I had success along the way. I would lose weight and then I would eventually gain it back.

And it’s because we can for a certain period of time, restrict, tell ourselves that we can’t have things, we can white knuckle it. But for the long term, we can’t cut full food groups. Our brain is just gonna go into that scarce mode. So this is just, I think it’s so powerful to know. I wanna give you an example. So let me take you back to the pandemic and the beginning of it. In our grocery stores, we started seeing empty shelves. We started seeing a toilet paper shortage, food shortage. And our lizard brains, for many of us were like, Whoa, when I see toilet paper, I’m gonna grab it. When I see, you know, my canned of cream and mushroom soup, I’m gonna grab it, right?

It’s important to understand that whenever we think a resource is scarce, we then get more of it. When we see it, when we find it, it’s just a natural thing. We saw this in the pandemic. Folks were hoarding toilet paper, hoarding food, again because the thought, what if it is gone? What if I can’t get it again? So anytime we’ve gone on a diet, the same thing happens. Whoa, I’m not getting the food that I want. I’m not getting the food that I need. And so then your body goes into, whoa, scarcity mode. Danger, danger. I need to hoard.

Here are some questions my love to think. If you have this scarcity mindset around food. Are your pantries full? Mm, Like full, like over full, more than probably you could eat? And do you tell yourself, Well maybe one day we’ll eat it. Do you take snacks in case there is no food where you’re going? I used to do this on airplanes, even though there was plenty of food around, I had to make sure I had my snacks. Do you over buy food where food expires before you can even make it or eat it?

See my love, this scarcity around food, it just keeps you sabotaging your success. You think I need to go on a diet? When you have those thoughts, you’re sending signals that food will be scarce. Then you might be able to do it for a bit. But eventually you overeat, you binge. My love, if you think you can’t have the cupcake, then all you want is the cupcake. So what’s the answer? The answer is starting to change your thinking around food. Abundant thinking, it’s what I teach my ladies. We’re going through a series right now, Healing You. And what I’m teaching my ladies is how to think differently about food. This is knowing that you can eat anything that you can eat at all.

And as you go through my basics of weight loss, you start to pay attention to your body. So then you start saying, I can have it, but I’m full. I can have it, but I don’t want it. This is such a mind shift. You’re sending signals to your Lizzie like, Hey, we’re good. We can have it. Food is abundant. Ah, we just don’t want it. We’re feeling full. This is such a powerful shift for the way that your mind works. Have you ever known someone who has not had a weight problem? And if you talk to them, and I have, I love researching those folks, cuz it’s so different than me, right?

I mean, I grew up with this being my number one thing, right? And so if you talk to them, they have such an abundant mindset with food, it’s just not that big of a deal. They eat all the things, and when they’re approaching full, they stop. And sometimes they’re like, No, I’m just not hungry right now. This is the deep work of healing your relationship with food. And you know my loves, this is the work that we’re doing in Transform Boss Weight Loss. I know we think it’s in a diet plan. I know if we think, Oh, if I just lose the weight, then I’ll work on all that stuff later. But it’s not what happens. To lose weight for the very last time, you have to heal your relationship with food.

We’re doing a five-month series right now in Transform Boss all about healing yourself and your relationship with food. And it is powerful, powerful work. Losing weight for the last time, it’s an inside job. It’s unlearning all the old sabotaging thoughts and beliefs that you have around food. And if you’re ready to take this work deeper, join us in the Finish Strong Challenge. It’s coming soon. Be on the lookout for registration, and my love, it is gonna be powerful. All right my love. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and wanna learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.


Ep #156: The Scale and What the Number Really Means

Ep #156: The Scale and What the Number Really Means

In today’s episode, you will discover:

How what you think about the number on the scale keeps you from releasing weight. I will teach you in this episode 3 questions to ask yourself to start getting unstuck so you can release the weight.

If you keep telling yourself that you are not good enough and tying your worth with the number on the scale, you will keep the weight on.

Listen to this episode to start believing new things about the number on the scale.


Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christensen episode number 156. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with wait for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christensen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. It has been just such an amazing time the last couple of weeks, since I recorded this podcast. We just celebrated my husband’s birthday, he just graduated and finished his master’s degree, and got his license to be a licensed counselor. So it has been a fun time in the Christiansen household. We also went up north for a little bit and had some relaxation and it was just gorgeous up there.

And our weather is starting to change. I know, I went for a walk today and it was like 80 degrees. I know, in Arizona, my love, that is good. Ah, it’s just been a great time. We also just packed up, the whole team came over that’s here in Arizona, and we packed up our very first TBoss book. This is a monthly book and it’s gonna have all of our Transform Boss worksheets, recipes, fun, a calendar. This is so my members of Transform Boss Weight Loss, so they can have more success.

When ladies join Transform Boss now, we send them a welcome book and it has everything that they need to get started, including the worksheets, including a plan, so they have for their first month. And then in their second month and on they’ll receive this. And then all of my ladies in Transform Boss Weight Loss, they’re gonna receive their first book, and we are so excited. And we even have a cover boss. Oh yes my love. I feel like we produced a full magazine. It is awesome. And we have a cover boss and then we have the boss babes. So it’s such a fun way to highlight my members and their success. I know, ladies you gotta come in. Transform Boss Weight Loss. We’re opening in October, mark your calendars. I know a lot of you’ve been waiting.

So in our 150th episode, we had a contest for ladies, and the contest was if you left a review and rated the show and then emailed our support email box with the review, we would put you into a drawing, and drum roll. The winner is Cynthia Joncas. Woo woo. And I’m gonna be sending her a box chocked full of my favorite things. Woo. It’s gonna be an amazing box ladies,  it really is. I’m gonna put so much fun stuff that I love. Plus I’m gonna put some Transform Boss stuff in there. Ah, Cynthia’s gonna love it. So I wanna thank Cynthia for rating and reviewing the show and to all of the ladies who rate and review the show. I really appreciate it. When you leave a review, it helps our show reach other ladies so they can also listen to the show and learn this amazing work.

So let’s talk about the scale. I have been doing a series in Transform Boss called Healing You, and I’m taking my bosses through the healing process so they can heal their relationship with food and themselves so they can release the weight for good. The first step in the healing process is awareness. And this challenge, these thoughts, these old beliefs, these old records around the scale and what we make it mean, the number, it comes up a lot. I wanna take you back to when I was younger. So when I was younger, for many, many years, my magic number was 120 pounds.

I heard lots of stories, lots of people, women and men talk about weighing 120 pounds or less, even in movies and magazines. It was just this number that I had created a story in my mind about. If I just weighed that number, then everything would be good. I would create vision boards with that number on it. Pictures of models who I thought weighed 120 pounds or less. You know, I just again thought that if I weighed that number, if I got to that weight, that everything would be amazing. And what I really interpreted that to be was that if I was a smaller weight, that weight, I’d be able to find love. I’d be acceptable, worthy.

As I went through my adult life, I never weigh 120 pounds. It was a fictional number that I was socialized to believe that I should weigh. We all have this number, this fictional number. Maybe it was a weight that you weighed when you were younger or some number that you were socialized to believe is what you should weigh. When we think we should be different than we are, we then think we are not enough. Not worthy. Take that in. Every time you think you should weigh less there is another thought, another feeling of unworthiness inadequacy, or not enough. It’s important to be aware of what you make that number mean, what you make how much weight you have on your body mean. Maybe you looked at some weight chart or BMI scale, and you’ve been made to believe that you’re not good enough.

Maybe someone told you that your weight needs to be lower. But I wanna give you your power back. You get to decide what you want to think and what you want to weight. You get to heal from the pressure of feeling not enough because of some external number. The number on the scale, your worthiness, your enoughness has nothing to do with that number.

And this is why it’s so crucial to losing your weight for the very last time. If you keep resisting the number, you keep telling yourself it’s not good enough, the number that it is today, right? You keep telling yourself it’s not good enough. Are you ready for the mic drop? Then it will never be good enough, no matter what you weigh. Or you’ll be so scared that you’ll lose all your excuses of living your best life that you sabotage your weight loss and keep the weight on. See you have this thought, when you lose the weight you’re gonna do all these things. You’re gonna be a different person. But that thought, that belief actually keeps you from releasing the weight. Because you are fearful of the loss of yourself, of who you are now.

You may think that you’re overweight because you eat too much or you love food, but you’re carrying extra weight because you’re fearful of what you will lose when you release the weight. This fear keeps you stuck and sabotaging your success. This number on the scale, it’s just data. It’s just a number. It does not mean anything until you make it mean something about yourself. Get on the scale, don’t get on the scale, but release the expectation of what you should weigh and start doing the work to reconnect to your mind and body.

Because my love, that is where the real work and transformation lies. The scale is just BS. It keeps you thought looping and playing in the puddle. You must learn to think differently now, to love yourself and your life now. You will not become a different person because you’ve lost your weight. It just doesn’t happen. You will just be you with all your thoughts and old beliefs in a smaller body.

So number one, what are your thoughts around what you should weigh? What is that number? Number two, how is it keeping you stuck and actually keeping the weight on? Number three, how could you love the number that you weigh today? How could you start to think differently about it so you can disconnect your worth from it? The number on the scale does not mean that you are good or bad. It’s just a number. When you start to disconnect from that number and you start doing the work of healing, the work of loving yourself, oh my love, everything starts to change. Because love, you are worthy. You are enough, you are lovable today, and you always have been, no matter what that scale says.

Mark your calendar my love, because our Finish Strong free challenge starts on October 17th. This will be the last challenge of the year. And in this challenge, you will learn the basics of weight loss and how to implement them. This week-long event is gonna be filled with fun, some tears for sure, love, and support. More information coming soon. In the meantime, if you’ve not taken my free course, go to freebosscourse.com. Ooh. So good. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.


Ep #155: Weight Loss Q&A Part 2

Ep #155: Weight Loss Q&A Part 2

This is the second part of our two-part series of your weight loss questions and answers with me and Coach Jenn. If you missed the first part, you will want to go back and listen. 

We will be diving deep in this episode into topics like movement, minimum baselines, and how eating what you currently eat now can lead to weight loss.

Yes, you heard me correctly. You do not have to give anything up to lose weight.

Movement is not the same as exercise. We will explain the difference and why movement is so important.

Our minds always like to make things more complicated. But to lose weight for the last time just takes simple little things.

And please leave us a review so we can reach more women to help them to learn to lose weight for good.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How movement is very different from exercise and why it is important
  • What a minimum baseline is and how to use it
  • How meeting yourself where you are at now will lead to your weight loss success

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 155. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.


Hello love. So excited to be here. 155 episodes. It just sounds amazing. 155 weeks I’ve shown up, and many of you have too. I love it. Oh, so today is the second in our two-part series on just general questions that we get a good bit through Transform Boss Weight Loss, through our public challenges, or even the free course. Ladies email our support box. Coach Jenn is here with me. Coach Jenn is one of the coaches in Transform Boss Weight Loss. You know, we love coach Jenn, and we’re just going to get to it, we’re going to ask the questions. You ready, Jen? I’m Ready. All right. Give it to me.


Alright. Restriction. What if I am restricted and I can’t do movement or exercise, will I ever lose the weight? Ooh, this is a good one. You know ladies, we tie movement into exercise, biggest loser, right? Like I’ve got to exercise or I’m never going to lose weight. I have a lot of thoughts on it. And one of them is, even if you’re restricted in your movement, whatever parts you can move, you know, you can move, right. Maybe it’s your arms. Maybe it’s just, you know, getting up and walking around, maybe it’s just your house. Right? And, but this is more important than any of that. When ladies first come to me, my suggestion, if they don’t already have a movement practice is not to.


Because we’ve had all of these old exercise beliefs, and I have to exercise 30 minutes or an hour a day, or I won’t lose weight. I have plenty of ladies who have lost weight who do not have movement or exercise routines. And they do it through reconnecting with their body. When you start to eat food and fuel your body and you eat less than what your body requires for fuel, you start to lose weight. You know my loves, it’s just another thing I think that we just thought loop about. It’s just another reason why, okay, I’m restricted in movement so I can’t lose weight. And so then I feel bad, right? It’s just the old thought cycle my friends.


You feel bad. And then when you feel bad, you overeat. Changing that thought to, even though I’m restricted in movement, I’m going to pay attention to my body and I’m going to eat when I’m physically hungry and I’m going to make my realistic plan and I got this. And then you feel differently. And then that’s when you want to do those things. But if you feel like you need to do something and you can’t because of a physical constraint that you have, it just makes you feel bad. And then you just want to eat all the things.


So movement, I have a podcast on movement. We’ll put it in the show notes, but our bodies like to move. Like even as I’m sitting here, I like to move, my body likes to move. That could mean just moving my hands, moving my shoulders, moving my feet. That is movement. And your body likes to move, right? If you think about folks who go into the hospitals and they can’t move, or they become paralyzed and you know, their bodies atrophy, their muscles atrophy. We were made to move. It is a body basic. We are, you know, just like breath, just like water, just like sleep, our bodies are meant to move. And movement is not a bootcamp where a personal trainers beat you down. Movement is as simple as just, you know, walking from the bathroom to the kitchen.


We over-complicate this. I do like crazy things. I like carrying groceries. And then I’ll do a couple like arm lifts with my grocery bags. Right. I park a little farther away. Again, ladies, I just don’t make this complicated. And I love to walk because walking is so good, but I do that for my mind and my body. But there are days where I’ll go out for a 10-minute walk. Some days, you know, 20, I don’t even put time constraints on my walks. I don’t think, Ooh, I got to get in my 30 minutes. Because this is what happens. You think that, and then you’re like, oh, well I did my exercise so I can have an extra cupcake. Oh, you see how our brains are. It’s just so trickery. It’s such trickery, because then you’re like, oh, well I worked out so now I can eat more. I’m more hungry, Shannan. It’s all trickery ladies.


Your bodies love to move. Do not like confuse the two and put the two together, weight loss and movement. Because when you do, it just really, it can derail you. So if you have limited movement, move what you can, and then, you know, follow the basics, take my free course and I’ll teach you the basics. What do you think Jenn? I have a lot of thoughts on this too. So I’m going to try to condense it. But even just today on the drive home, I went to an assembly at my kids school today and I was blasting my music and just dancing around.


Ladies, I’m telling you, like, I used to have these thoughts, but right. Bootcamp style, if I didn’t sweat, it didn’t count. And I had to just basically suffer through my movement, my exercise to make it mean anything. And through this work, I really, actually when I started this work I stopped exercising. I was doing it every day, at least five days a week. And I stopped because I had to change my mindset around it. And then I’ve slowly added it back in. You know, whether you have full range of movement or you don’t, I think it goes back to our thoughts around it, because when we have that perfection come in and when we’re not doing it right or enough, and we’re not seeing that scale go down, it means, you know, we need to work harder and that’s not just, that’s just not the truth.


As you begin to add movement in and you find different ways to do movement, even if that is just walking, like Shannan said, from your kitchen to your bathroom or whatever it is, you’ll be able to feel good in your body and find joy through your movement and not look at it as a punishment. Yeah. Or think, you know, I have to like move to lose weight. It’s just, it’s really a falsehood actually. It’s not the truth. To really lose weight just through exercise, not, you know, through what you fuel yourself with, you would have to do it like Biggest Loser style where you’d like have to work out for eight hours a day.


I don’t know who can do that, but I don’t think anyone can. And so it’s just this false belief. Food and how you fuel your body and how you feel hunger and fullness has more relation to how you carry weight than movement. And movement is just good for your body. Your body needs it. Your body needs to move. Your body, all the parts of it. And if you don’t, your body just doesn’t feel as good. It doesn’t move as well. And so again, simple things like, you know, walking around your house, loading in the groceries, right? Just little things, dancing around. Ooh, I love to dance. Oh my gosh Jenn, when you said that, I was like, yes. Right. Dancing is so fun. Like have fun with it ladies. Grab your partner and just dance around the house. You know, grab your grandbaby or you’re a little kid and just jump. If you can’t jump, maybe you’re sitting on the couch dancing, right. Maybe you’re sitting in your chair, moving your shoulders and moving your hands. So good. I love it.


All right. What is a minimum baseline and how do you use it? Oh, I love minimum baselines. This is a tool that we teach in Transform Boss Weight Loss. And it really goes with perfectionism, because we think we need to be perfect. We think I have to be perfect. I have to do all the things. So when I think about, you know, all the diets I’ve been on, I would, you know, get the plan, do the thing. And then I’d be like, okay, now this is all the things I needed to do. And I have to do it perfectly. I have to do it seven out of seven days. And so what would happen is if I did it six out of seven days or five out of seven days, I would feel like a failure. And when you start feeling like you’re failing, then you know, you start feeling overwhelmed. You start feeling disappointed. Then you have all these other thoughts. I can’t do this. I’m going to fail. And then you slowly start quitting.


Minimum baselines is so that you can start to see success. Because your brain’s not wired to see your success, only your failures mostly, right. Lizzy loves to tell you what you should be doing and what’s wrong. And so when you put in a minimum baseline, you can start to see success. Now how you do it is simply, let’s just say you use the realistic plan, which is one of our basics. You just say, I’m going to make my realistic plan three out of seven days, and when I do that, I will feel success.


Then you make your realistic plan three out of seven days. I tell you it’s so important to release this idea that you have to be perfect. Losing weight for the last time, it takes time. One, two, there are lots of challenges, lots of failures, lots of learning, lots of healing along the way. So you just have to give yourself a good amount of grace and love. What do you think, Jenn? I love minimum baselines. You know, I don’t know if you hear the trend, but I have some perfectionists in me and slowly twiddling away at her, but this is just such a great tool to help you feel success without having to do it all the time and avoiding setting yourself up for failure, right?


The failure of the beat downs and things like that. So I love minimum baselines. These can be used for anything ladies. They don’t have to just be used around weight loss. I use this for things around my house, for how many times I’m going to walk the dogs. Right? All of the things. Just setting, you know, amount of days of the week that you want to do it and then sticking to it. And when you do it, say three out of the seven days you celebrate that, right? You don’t say, oh, I guess I only did it three of the seven. That’s fine. No celebrate that. Let it be there for a while, a couple of weeks a month. And then that’s when you can Uplevel to four days a week. Right?


Another tip that I would give with this is I believe it was Jon Acuff, Shannan correct me if I’m wrong, but whatever you want to set it at, maybe cut it in half, because we want to start with those seven days. So, you know, a lot of your brains are going to want to go, okay, I’ll do five or six, but it’s still not realistic for you. So cut it down to the two or three days and start there. And then you can, after a week or two, evaluate it and see if you need to increase it or decrease it, but just don’t expect too much from yourself from the get go, right. Start small. That’s how you’re going to have that success.


Yeah. I love that. I love that idea. I think it was Jon Acuff with the cut it in half, take your goal and kind of halve too Jenn. And it’s so important because our brains just want us to be perfect. I don’t know what perfect is. Honestly. I mean, I don’t know what you know, is it seven out of seven? I’m not sure because it’s unrealistic. So then you’re just going to quit. My idea of perfection and yours is probably different. So I don’t think there’s a perfection meter out there that I know about. So I’d say just set your minimum baseline.


And I love too doing it for other things. Even myself, you know, I struggle with this. I think many women do, and I’m always like wanting to go above, right? I’m like, Ooh, if I could just get all of this done, I would feel better. If I could just be perfect, I would feel better. But it’s not the truth because you can feel better right now. You just have to think a thought that gives you a feeling that is positive.


So if you think I am learning how to lose weight for the last time, I am learning how to break my perfectionistic habits, I am learning how to show up for myself, then you feel better. And you can feel better today. We always want to delay it. I need to be perfect first and then I’ll feel better. But I just like to feel good today because perfect Shannan doesn’t exist, that I know for sure.


Next question is, how can I eat what I’m eating now and still lose weight? I mean, you have to meet yourself where you’re at. You have to start this process by eating what you’re eating now. I find that most ladies really, they like to fight me on this a little. They want to make diet plans instead of realistic plans. They want to make it idealistic. But you have to start where you’re at. Then slowly as you’re starting to reconnect with your body, you just up-level. You just, you know, leave a bite on your plate. I love saying that because it’s so simple, right? You just leave a bite. Okay, I’ll leave a bite. And then the next week, maybe it’s a bite and a half. Then you know, a couple of weeks later, maybe you start to notice that you’re feeling full and you actually stop a little earlier than that. It’s the slow process of combining the basics that I teach. And it happens over time.


I promise you this, you cannot go from eating all the things or, you know, diet brain to, okay, I’m going to be perfect. Again, it goes back to that old perfectionistic brain. One, there is no perfect. And two, you just slowly up-level and you meet yourself where you’re at. Ladies don’t want to. I know, it’s diet culture. Ladies don’t believe me. They’re like, no Shannan, I’ve got to like eat less right now. It’s like, you know, you will over time, but you have to change some thoughts and beliefs. If you keep coming from a place of scarcity where you think you can’t have things, you will restrict and then you will binge, you will restrict and then you will binge restrict, and then you will overeat instead of allowing and going through the process that I teach.


I mean, I feel telling you ladies, I mean this, like keep on doing the restriction. It doesn’t work. If you restrict, the opposite reaction to that is overeating and binging. You have to meet yourself where you’re at, and you have to slowly up-level. Hmm, Jenn, can you tell I’m a little passionate, I’ve had to like keep it at bay because you know, diet culture, I don’t blame you ladies. All my listeners, this is diet culture. We have been, it has been ingrained in our brains that the only way to lose weight is through over-exercising and restriction. I just want to teach you a different way. It’s through allowance and love. That is the only way.


Yeah. Don’t ever kill your passion Shannan, it gets me fired up when you do that. Yeah. As you were talking Shannan, I started  thinking when I had started this and, and where my mindset was at, and I did, I was probably one of the ones that fought you on this. First of all, I didn’t, I didn’t want to write a realistic plan because I didn’t want to plan ahead what I was going to have to eat. And then on my plan, I was making sure I was having good foods versus bad foods, right? Because that is the only way to lose weight. What was happening was I would eat off plan and then I would overeat and I would beat myself up. And it was just this cycle.


And ladies, the best thing is, first of all, to know there aren’t good foods and bad foods. There are just foods. And when we can just meet ourselves where we’re at, that is where we do these slow up levels, right? Like Shannan said, leave one bite and then a bite and half, and we start to feel that success. And we start to get back in tune with our bodies and we start to just, you know, you’ll start to see those successes. Your clothes will feel a little bit different. You’ll feel a little bit more energy. You’ll have less bloat, all of these little things. Right? The best thing that I can say is trust the process. I know that is out there, but it is. You just have to know that this is a way that you can lose weight without restriction.


And without those old thoughts of move more and eat less, because that is just false. I know, but that is what is in our brains. Like, you know, that is it. And your brain is going to play tricks with you of, oh, you probably shouldn’t have that hamburger and fries. But what happens is you might not eat your hamburger and fries right then, but then later that night, you’re going to want something else. So just meet yourself where you’re at, give yourself the grace. And you will learn through this work that you really truly can. That is the only way to lose weight, is to eat what you’re eating now and then slowly up level. Yeah. Ooh. So good.


Right. I mean, we could like preach this all day because, but I do think that ladies kind of have to go through that process sometimes of just like, you know, restricting. And then they start to see that, oh, when I allow, when I start to have abundant thoughts instead of scarce thoughts that I actually lose weight. When I restrict I might lose it, but then I gained right back and a little more because I’m going through this, like not eating and then eating all the things and you know, so I think it’s just part of this process.


My loves, everything that I’m teaching you, even the journey that I’ve been on, I continue even myself to evolve the healing. And I think we have just been through so much trauma with diets and it just takes this really good amount of time to heal from it. We have been told that our bodies are not good enough, that we’re not good enough, that we need to restrict, that we need to be a certain size. We need to look a certain way. And we need to cut food groups, and there’s good food or bad food, or healthy food or not healthy food. And it’s just left us feeling traumatized, not knowing what to do.


I think this work is just a constant evolving into the next version of yourself and learning and growing without judgment and beat downs, and just becoming that next version of yourself. And ladies it’s possible. I know your brain is going to be like, I don’t want to do this work, but this is the thing my love. If you want to really lose these chains, the prison of dieting and not loving your body and all of that, then you have to go through the healing process and it takes time and kindness and support. It needs a community of women and coaching and all of the different things that Transform Boss is made up.


There’s a reason why I have created this because I am a woman just like you, who has failed a thousand times who keeps learning about herself, who keeps healing, who keeps failing, all of the things. And what it does at the end of the day, this process, it just helps you and me, and Jenn, and all my ladies become unstoppable. And then we realize like, oh right, there’s no perfect. I just keep showing up. I keep failing. I keep moving forward. I just continue this journey to healing and self-love. It is the best, right? So the best.


So Jenn, any other thoughts before we end this Q and A? Just to allow time. This is not a race, and give yourself, I’m not trying to rhyme. I just realized I am, as I’m saying this, I love it. I, you know, I love a good rhyme. Give yourself grace along the way and just remind yourself that you really do have all the answers within you. You’re actually the only one that has your answers. Shannan or myself or anyone else, we cannot tell you all of the answers of what you need. You have it internally. So trust that within yourself.


I love that. Ladies, we think it’s in a food plan, but it’s been in you all along. You are the hero of your story. And if you want to take this work deeper my love, go to freebosscourse.com and take my free course. And Jenn, I, you know, I love doing the podcast with you. Thank you so much. And my loves, I will talk to you next week. Bye.


Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.



Ep #154: Weight Loss Q&A Part 1

Ep #154: Weight Loss Q&A Part 1

Ooh, we have a very special episode for you this time. Coach Jenn is joining me in this two-part series where we are going to answer some questions around losing weight.

You will learn how what I teach is very different from all the diet culture out there. No more diet trauma here.

I know most of us have been taught things like restriction, food plans, move more to lose weight. But I will show you a better way. No food plans here.

I will dive deep into topics like how to reconnect with your body, and how allowance actually leads to weight loss.

Are you ready to be reconnected with your body again?

And please leave us a review so we can reach more women to help them to learn to lose weight for good.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How meeting yourself where you are at is so important in weight loss
  • Physical hunger versus emotional hunger
  • How to listen to your hunger cues and what they mean

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 154. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.


Hello love. So excited to be with you. Today we are going to answer the questions. You know, we get a good bit of questions and I wanted to do a couple of episodes based on all of the different questions we get around losing weight, losing it for the last time, challenges, all the things. And I asked coach Jenn from Transform Boss Weight Loss to come on and join me because you know, I just love her. And it’s so fun when she’s on. So we are going to answer all the questions today. So I’m so excited.


So, coach Jenn, how are you doing today? Fabulous. Are you excited? Yeah. I always love recording these with you. I know, they’re so fun. Right? Okay. So Jenn is going to ask the questions. We are just going to dive right in today. That’s how we’re doing it today. All right. First question is, are there foods that we have to have on hand, you know, along with this program, are there certain foods that we need to have on hand? You know, we get this question a lot, especially when ladies are new, especially if they’re doing something free, whether it’s the free challenges or the free course, every time we’ve started something new to lose weight, someone has said, here’s the food plan. Here’s the food plan, right? And it’s just created this expectation that to lose weight, someone needs to tell you what to eat.


And what I teach is so different because I will never give you a food plan. You don’t have to go out and buy any food. You don’t have to, you know, last supper it and eat all the foods and then, you know, throw away whatever you have left. You don’t have to clear out your pantry. None of that. I’m going to teach you how to lose weight enjoying the foods that you enjoy. You know, I always heard this saying  like, you need to change your lifestyle. You need to, you know, revamp everything about you. And I had this belief too. And I think when ladies first come, it’s so hard to believe that they know the answer, it’s within them. It’s inside them. And they know how to, their body knows. We don’t trust our bodies. You know, after so long, we just stopped trusting our bodies.


And this process that I teach women is how to reconnect with their body, how to heal from it, this, you know, diet trauma that we’ve experienced with this food plan and that food plan and cut out the carbs, you know, all the things. So ladies, when you come into Transform Boss Weight Loss, you don’t need to change your lifestyle. You don’t need to throw out any food in your pantry. You don’t need to buy anything special. You just need to come. That’s all.


Jenn, what would you add? Yeah. This was something that when I started my brain really did a little explosion. Like what? No. Tell me what I need to do. Tell me what I need to eat, because I was so used to in the past, having certain foods for myself and then certain foods for my family. Right. And having to essentially white knuckle it to not eat what they’re eating and feeling this restriction. And so I really do think that this is one of the things that in the long run does remind you, that you have all the answers within you and it gives you this freedom. You find that when you can eat whatever you want without restriction, you’ll learn that you really don’t want it as much as you think you do. Yeah. Isn’t that crazy? When you think you can’t have it, then all you want is you want it. Right. It’s kind of like with anything, right?


Even if you watch, I love watching little kids, right? When you tell them they can’t have something, then they obsess, but can I have it? Can I have it? When can I have it? When I know I’m going to have it right. That’s how our brains are. Our brain is literally like a toddler. And so anytime you’re like, no, we can’t have that anymore, your brain, Lizzy, is just going to pipe up and be like, that is what we need. We must have it. And so, healing your relationship with food is really starting to think of food as abundant, and that you can eat anything. You can eat anything that’s out there.


You know, when you learn that and know that, and you don’t have to have different food and you just pay attention to your body, we do. One of the basics that I teach is how to start to find your hunger and fullness. That is the counterbalance to eating all the food, is when you connect with your body. When your body’s like, oh yeah, we’re full, then you stop. It’s, I’m telling you. It’s so good. Oh good. Oh, that was a good question.


Well, Shannan doesn’t know these questions, but that’s a perfect segue into our next question. How do I eat a small amount and stop? Ooh, this is just, I mean, it is a perfect segue. I don’t know the questions actually. It’s so interesting. Jenn gathered them, but it’s all about reconnecting with your own body. Your body has actual hormones, leptin and ghrelin, that tell you when you’re physically hungry, and when you’re getting full. And what’s happened over time is we have disconnected. We don’t trust our bodies. We don’t trust ourselves anymore because we’ve broken commitments. And because we mindlessly eating, we’re not paying attention. We’re not savoring the food.


You know, ladies always tell me they love food, but Shannan, I love food. I’m like, you do? Because you didn’t even taste what you just ate. I did this too. There’s no judgment. But when you don’t even enjoy your food, you’re just eating it to eat. And you’re, you know, scrolling social media. You’re standing up at the kitchen counter. You’re running through a drive-through and you’re eating it before you get home because you’re secretly eating it and you don’t want anyone to know. My love, that’s just disconnection from your authentic self and your body.


And so I teach this really simple basic of asking yourself two simple questions. Am I hungry physically? And how am I feeling? These two simple questions bring you into your thinking brain. You know, you have to meet yourself where you’re at. When you meet yourself where you’re at, whatever you’re eating currently today, you can’t go from eating all the things to just eating this very small amount or chicken and salad. You have to kind of step into it as you reconnect with your body. This is so important. Ladies will resist this because of diet culture, diet trauma, but I promise you want success. You do it slowly. You meet yourself where you’re at. And then you ask yourself just these two simple questions. And then you start to slowly Uplevel, right? It’s just amazing when you can start to feel fullness, when you can start to feel it, when you can start to tell the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger, and when you’re craving something emotionally, telling yourself the truth, right? We don’t tell ourselves the truth about that. That’s for sure.


But like, oh, I need this. I deserve it. It’s going to bring me comfort. And you live in a body that doesn’t feel good. You live in a body that you don’t have freedom in, you don’t even like your body. You say horrible things about it. So that food, when you tell yourself it’s comfort, that’s not a comfort. It’s a two-minute dopamine hit. And then the truth is it brings you so much pain. And just getting really honest with yourself about it. I know that’s a long answer. Ask yourself two simple questions and then start the process of reconnecting with your body and paying attention and enjoying and savoring your food and meet yourself where you’re at.


All right Jenn, what else? What did I forget? I know, you know, all the things. No, I just, as you’re speaking, what popped into my head was yes, yes, yes. But I think, yeah, we are just so disconnected from our bodies. We don’t realize that we shouldn’t be feeling this way, right? This constant state of bloat or fullness or a bellyache, we think sometimes that’s just how it’s supposed to be. I think that it begins with, you know, just leaving one bite on your plate and asking yourself those questions. And I think that you’ll be amazed that you really are full. Right. And I was queen of running away from all these emotions that I didn’t want to feel and telling myself those things, like I deserve it after this day or this will make me feel better.


And in the end, it didn’t, right. It just added to me feeling fuller and pushing those emotions down. I love the question too, of would a chicken breast do? If you don’t know if it’s physical hunger or emotional, ask yourself that question, and if you’re not physically hungry your brain will be like, Ooh, no, I don’t know. Not a chicken breast. And so that is a little tip that always, when my mind wants to play tricks on me, I always go ask that. And I know immediately if it’s physical or if it’s emotional. Oh yeah. Such a good question. Right? Because if my brain is like, no, only that donut will do Shannan. Then I’m like, oh shoot. I don’t want to feel a feeling. You know, I want to disconnect. I want a little dopamine. Right? And so, but dopamine is such a quick fix, right? It’s just this really immediate, quick fix. But two minutes, five minutes, two hours, two days later, it’s not there anymore. And then you just need more and you need more of it.


And allowing yourself, we teach a concept in Transform Boss about how to allow an urge. So when you feel this urge, how to allow it without taking action, without overeating, without eating what you’re not hungry for. And we also teach how to allow feelings, how to sit and process emotion. And this is deep work my love. I mean, it is deep work, but it is the best work. Really. When you can allow yourself to feel any emotion without taking negative action, or you can allow yourself to feel an urge and not overeat. And then you start doing that over and over again. Suddenly you’re like, holy moly, I really don’t want to eat it.


And that moment when you’re like, holy moly, I have donuts on my kitchen counter and I don’t want to eat them. You feel so powerful. That is what this work will do for you. It’s so powerful when you’re just like, oh, that’s right. I don’t want that pizza. I don’t want that cupcake. Not, I can’t have it. I can’t have it puts you in a victim mode. Right. Then you’re like, oh, I can’t have up. And then Lizzie is like, okay, well we got to eat all of it then instead of I don’t want it. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. It’s so powerful. It’s so powerful. It is. It’s taking that power back when you realize I don’t want it or I don’t need it. And I’m choosing that for myself. It is just the biggest confidence boost. It’s so empowering.


The next question is how do you listen to your body to know when you’re hungry or when you’re satisfied? Oh yeah. Yeah. So every body is different. And I mean, like for real right? We all have different fingerprints. We all have different bodies. We have different genetics, different makeups, different body types, all the things. Right. And so I think a couple things, if you are wanting to know what hunger feels like in your body, one of the things to do is just in the morning, usually for most folks, if you have a normal schedule, you don’t eat at night, you sleep for most folks.


So when you wake up, you might just like, normally go and get breakfast. So instead of doing that, just allowing yourself to kind of extend that a couple hours so that you can start to see what hunger feels like. For me, I feel a little emptiness in my tummy. I might feel too, like if I let it go too far, I’ll feel a little lightheaded. I start to feel a little low energy when I start to get physically hungry. And also my brain now will start to say like, Hey, we’re hungry. Like, I’ll start to have thoughts like, oh, I need to eat. Hunger really feels to me just like this little emptiness in my belly.


And then again, I, my brain really does tell me like, Hey, I’m getting hungry. And then I ask myself, is this physical hunger? When you ask yourself questions, your body will respond. I know it sounds crazy. But once you do this over and over, it will. Then your body will be like, no, we’re not hungry. And then you’re like, oh, okay. Right. Like it just happens over time. Now feeling full for me, for sure. I know I’m full with two things. When I start not paying attention, meaning I’m grabbing my phone or I want to get up from the table. That is my first. My second is when my brain is like, you need the perfect bite. When I’m like looking for the perfect bite on my plate. When I’m trying to have that first bite experience. The first bite is always the best bite. Every bite after that just is diminishing returns. So the first bites the best, then every bite after just gets worse and worse. When you’re looking, and when I’m searching for that perfect bite, I know immediately. I know immediately I’m full. So those are my two.


Jenn, what about you? My hunger is very similar to yours. Just a slight lightheadedness, right. And low energy is how I can usually tell. Even mood shifts. Right? Like sometimes I’ll be a little more snappy and then I’m like, oh, okay. I may need some food, getting that hangry going on. And then for satisfaction, for me when I’m full, it is a sigh. Like I have noticed over time that my body naturally lets out a sigh when I’m beginning to get full, you know, and I just have to pay attention. Cause my brain sometimes will notice that I sigh, but be like just a couple more bites. But I have to remind myself it’s, you’re fine. Like, it just goes back to that abundance and scarcity.


Right. And just knowing it’s going to be there. And so just paying attention to those signals. But I think those would be mine for hunger and fullness. Yeah. That sigh. Or even like your belly extends a little, right. Ladies, it’s just asking yourself like, how am I feeling? When you say to yourself, how am I feeling? And you go into your body and you’re like, how’s my tummy feeling. How’s my chest feeling. How’s my breathing. Right. Like if I’m stuffed like a turkey, I can’t breathe. Like I feel like I’m pregnant again. Like I’m like, oh, okay. I’m way past full. Right. That’s how, you know, like you have like gone past full, right.


Suddenly you’re like, oh shoot. My breathing is restricted. I mean, if you think about your poor little stomach, it’s not very big. I mean, no matter who you are. Right. Even though I stretch my stomach out, for sure. Like the internal stomach, even then still, it’s not that big. I love to visualize my stomach. Like really like inside my internal stomach and think like, okay, like Shannan, you have three plates of enchiladas. Maybe that’s not gonna fit. Right. So just again, just paying attention and just having some grace with yourself, asking yourself just some simple questions.


Ooh. I love this episode. You know, ladies, you’re going to want to join us for next week. We have more questions. I mean, we only got through three questions, but you know, ladies, I don’t like to make the episodes too long because I want you to have quick hits. So join us next week. We’re going to continue, we’re going to go through a few more questions. And if you want to take this work deeper, make sure you go to freebosscourse.com, and take my free course. All right, bye for now.


Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.