Ep #212: Breaking the Cycle, How to Overcome the Common Pitfalls of Dieting

Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast is Available to Watch or Listen Here:

T-BOSS TAKE #42: Breaking the Cycle

Diets focus on short-term results and quick fixes.

Diets are often too restrictive and unsustainable.

Until you heal the core issue, you will just gain weight back.

In today’s episode of the podcast, I share why diets don’t work long-term and I give you my take on what to do.

In this episode…

≫[4:42] My thoughts created my feelings and my feelings were driving everything I was doing or not doing.

≫[5:29] I have learned how to have acceptance for me, for my body, how to have love for it, and how to go through life’s ups and downs and come back to myself.

≫[6:58] I want to help you develop that voice inside of yourself that says, I can do this.

≫[7:55] The diet roller coaster is this losing and gaining of weight through restriction and binging and overeating.

≫[9:27] If you don’t fix the core issue, you’ll just gain the weight back.

≫[11:59] I had to learn how to fit this into my lifestyle so that it would work for me.

≫[15:03] Allowing yourself to feel negative emotion without taking negative action on yourself.

≫[15:41] My take on what to do.

Featured on the Show:

· Click here to learn more about my signature weight loss program, Transform Boss Weight Loss Membership – OPEN for enrollment!

·   Follow me on Facebook @bflycoaching

·   Follow me on Instagram – @shannanchristiansen

·   Follow me on YouTube @shannanchristiansen

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode 212. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen. Hello, love. Woo. I’m excited this week.

We are in the challenge. I know I have a free challenge going on right now, and if you’re in it, I know you’re loving it. I am too. I love the challenges. I only do, you know, I think this is my fourth one this year. I usually do between three to four a year and it’s a week with me and they’re amazing.

And on top of that, that’s when we open. And so we opened our membership, Transform Boss, to the public today. And I’m so excited because we are gonna welcome in a bunch of new ladies who are ready to lose weight for the very last time. And you can go to jointransformboss.com and get all of the information I want to,

in this episode, a couple things. We’re gonna talk about breaking the cycle of dieting and why diets don’t work and what to do about it. I also wanna talk about why I’m different. I do get this question a lot of like Shannan, why do you do this? You know what? What’s the thing, right? Because I’ve had a long financial services career,

it’s been successful and I’ve loved it. And you know, why a coach? Why this? And I’ll tell you, I’ll give you the short story. Short story is I too, like many of you who are listening, really, I don’t even know if struggled if there’s a powerful enough word, but this dieting diet, culture, diet, trauma.

I lived for 38 years of my life. This constant, not feeling good enough, constant not liking my body, not liking the way that I looked, not liking, you know, always worried, you know, when I walked into a room, oh, am I thin enough? Oh, I’m too fat. Oh, I better cover up. I better get behind in the pictures thinking,

when is my next meal? When am I gonna eat? What am I gonna eat? You know, all the things just so much. I mean, I did all the things. I mean everything, literally everything. Because it was just such a constant, constant feeling of shame and hopelessness. I felt so much shame about my body, about what I looked like.

I kept telling myself, Shannan, you’re so smart. Why can’t you figure this out? Like, what is wrong with you? I remember thinking like, you have so many amazing things in your life, and yet you’re eating, you know, a bag of m and ms. I don’t mean like the individual size of m and ms, like why?

Like what is happening? And I remember just feeling so much shame about it. I mean, shame, shame, shame. I mean, I felt shame from the world we live in too, right? I mean, I’ve been made fun of, I’ve been bullied, I’ve been thought of as less because I carried extra weight. All the things. All the things.

And so I do this because I stood in a Weight Watcher’s parking lot and I walked out of that meeting, feel things. I gained weight, I felt like a failure, all the things. And I made this decision in a Weight Watcher’s parking lot that I was done, that I was not gonna diet. And that I was gonna figure this out.

That I was gonna learn how to do something different. And that there had to be a different way. And I knew that it wasn’t in an external thing. I knew it wasn’t in a diet plan, a food plan, a this plan, a pill, a potion, a shake, a weight loss surgery. I’d already done that. And I gained weight.

And I mean, I lost weight and then I, you know, put most of it back on. So I knew that wasn’t the answer either. I didn’t want a temporary solution to a problem that was internal. I knew that it, it started with what I was thinking. I knew that I needed to do some healing. I needed to heal from the inside out.

And it started with what I was thinking. And then I started doing research and I found coaching and I, I became a coach and I loved coaching. I always loved it in the business world. And then I learned how to do it in life coaching. And I learned how my thoughts created my feelings and my feelings were driving everything I was doing or not doing.

That is why I’m different. This is why Transform Boss is different. It is different because I use tools that are simple and doable. I have an array of things to help women who come from different challenges and different lives. I also have walked the walk. I have lived in the shame. I have lived in the doubt I have lived in. Mm,

putting a wall between me and all the other humans because I felt so much shame. I have done it. I have lived it. And then I have lived the other side. I have now been in maintenance for many, many years and I have learned how to have acceptance for me, for my body, how to have love for it, how to go through all the lives,

ups and downs, and know how to come back to myself. I have done this healing journey that I believe I’ll be on for the rest of my life. I get coached, I have a coach, I get coached. This is why Transform Boss is different. It’s different because I have learned a different way. There are no diets, there are no food plans,

no exercise plans. There is just support and tools that are science backed that I have done all the research. I have tested it all myself. That is why we are different. I watch my clients, I watch them, I watch them have success. I watch where they’re having challenges and we put in guardrails. And when ladies are struggling, they have plenty of places that they can go and get support and get help.

And so if you’re ready to get off the diet roller coaster, maybe you’re not even ready. Maybe you’re like, I don’t know, Shannan, I’m a little, I’m a little scared. I’m a little fearful. Don’t worry my love. Sometimes you are gonna need my voice before you can develop the voice that you got this, sometimes you need to hear my voice so that I can tell you that you can do it.

You can. And I know you can. I believe in you sometimes. You need my voice before you can develop that voice in yourself. That’s what I wanna help you do. I want to help you develop that voice inside of yourself that says, I can do this. I am doing this. Even when I fail, even when I have challenges,

I know what to do next. So how many diets have you tried? I know, right? How many diets have you tried? I know I’ve tried ’em all right. And look, I believe that most folks who are creating the diets and doing the things, they have good intentions. I do mostly believe that, right? I do. The doctors are out there trying to find the solution because they know how much pain and how much pain people are in.

I just know for me it didn’t work. I had to really understand what the diet roller coaster was. I think about this because I had to understand like what was it like, what was the diet roller coaster? Why was I dieting? And why were these methods that were supposed to be the new greatest thing? Why weren’t they working? And you know,

I wanna define what I believe the diet rollercoaster is. And it is this losing and gaining of weight through restriction and binging and overeating. And it is the all in or all out. It’s this kind of up and down of it all. It’s the yo-yo of it all. See diets in whatever form. Again, it can be lots of different things.

It can be food plans, cutting food groups, pills, weight loss, surgery. They work for the short term. But because you’ve not fixed like the mental part of it, the thinking part of it, the feeling part of it, the cause of it, not understanding your own body enough and how it works and the physical parts of it, not knowing how to feel your feelings.

You will figure out how to eat all the things and gain the weight back. You will, because this is what happens. And this is what happens with any of it. Weight loss surgery, yes, it makes your stomach smaller. And then you realize like, Ooh, but I can eat all day. You start your mind’s like, but I,

because your mind is so powerful, it needs the fix, it needs the comfort, it needs the, for most of you who’ve been on the diet rollercoaster, your comfort comes from food. That’s how you, your coping mechanisms, that’s how I learned how to cope. And so even though I had diets or weight loss or all the things, it took away the thing that was my coping mechanism.

So I just figured out how to get around it eventually. See, this is what happens. So if you don’t fix the core issue, the thing, the, the thing that is like, and it’s not one, it’s many and you don’t have tools and support while you’re going through this healing journey, this healing process, you’ll just gain the weight back.

And again, I’ve watched this, I’ve watched this so many times. I, I can’t even, and I always have hope. You know, I see a friend or someone I care about and they’re like, Shannan, I did this thing and they lost the weight and they feel so good. And I, I wanna, I’m like, yes. And my hope is that it works.

And 1% of the time it does. 1%, 1%. I know I’m going for more than that. I want ladies who come with me to really heal that relationship so that they can not only lose whatever weight they want to lose, but they also can feel better and do it in a way that they can always do. See why, I believe here are my thoughts on why I don’t think diets or any form fashion of it work long term is because they feed into our want and desire our primitive brain of a quick fix in our impulsive brain,

they mostly are restrictive. And so they’re cutting something out. And again, you’re cutting food groups or you’re cutting things or you know, you can’t eat foods because it’ll make you nauseous or sick or you know, like if you’ve had weight loss surgery, right? You can’t eat certain food groups, right? So then the thing like for me, you have to reduce your sugar when you first have the surgery because if you don’t,

you’ll get sick. So the thing that used to comfort me, which was the cookie and the cupcakes and all the sugar I didn’t have anymore. And so again, eventually I figured out just eat a little bit, but eat it all day. So again, you over time, your body, your mind, which is so powerful, starts figuring it out.

A lot of times they’re very time consuming. You gotta do all these things, you gotta change your lifestyle. It doesn’t fit in your lifestyle. Like if, you know, when I started this work and I started doing this work, I would say my days are full morning, noon, and night. I needed something that fit in my lifestyle. I didn’t wanna change my lifestyle.

I didn’t wanna go out and have to do all this food. Like some of you are meal preppers. Bless you. I’ve never successfully done it. It’s just I don’t have time, I don’t want to. And that’s the more important, I don’t want to, to on a Sunday spend five hours prepping for the week. I don’t, I, I need something different.

And so I had to learn how to fit this into my lifestyle so that it would work for me. See, that’s why I don’t think most diet work, right? They’re, they can be very time consuming, they can be very restrictive and they don’t meet you where you are today. Oh, I think about this too with exercise, right? Like,

oh, you know, you see these things like go run five miles, I don’t know, whatever the thing is. Or you hire a personal trainer, if you’ve ever hired a personal trainer, you know what I’m talking about. You get someone who’s in like Uber great shape and they, your first session with them, they’re like, go push harder.

You know? And you’re like, I can’t. And you feel so much shame too. Oh, I can’t even tell you. It’s hard for me to step into a gym to this day. Really, it’s one of those things that’s, it’s on my list, like to like overcome the shame of it. I still, I can, but I have a lot of shame around it because for so long I felt like I didn’t belong there.

I felt so much shame about the gym. And so again, it doesn’t meet you where you are, right? It’s like, okay, like I’ve been eating Big Mac and chocolate shakes and french fries, and then tomorrow I’m just gonna have greens and protein. I dunno, it, it doesn’t work long-term, right? And so meeting yourself where you are at is so important.

And I think it focuses on short-term wins instead of long-term change. And so it doesn’t focus on healing, it focuses on the short term. Like you can lose this much weight and then you’ll feel better. But I want you to ask yourself this question, okay? Have you ever lost weight? You’ve lost it. You felt you’re feeling pretty good and still it wasn’t good enough.

Still you had loose skin or you had this or you had that, or you needed 10 more pounds, just 10 more pounds and you hung onto that 10 more pounds until you started to gain the weight back and now you’re 50 pounds heavy and you’re like, Hmm, I wish I was back there back there, right? We always wanna go back there,

back to some old diet that works, some old size that we used to be. And so what happens is it’s focused on these short term wins, but because you don’t have the mental tools or you haven’t worked on the healing part, the healing of the relationship with food or the healing of the relationship with yourself, you don’t know how to fail and take the next best action.

You’re still focused on the pounds. You’re still focused on that scale instead of how you feel and how you think. Because of that, it’s not causing this long lasting, this is who I am now. It’s not creating that next version of yourself. And I think ultimately it’s just the lack of real mental work and change. Changing what you believe about yourself,

your capabilities healing, your relationship with food healing and understanding what really does comfort you, what does really bring you joy? Understanding that negative emotion is negative emotion. It doesn’t mean anything’s gone wrong. Even if something’s gone wrong, it just means like, oh, this is where I’m at. This is what’s going on. And allowing yourself to feel that negative emotion without taking negative action on yourself.

Diets are missing all of that. You know, I see things now too where they’re like, we have coaches, but you know, I’ve done research with some of my coach friends and they’re not, you know, I would say they’re not real trained in real coaching. They have like little scripts, you know? So I’m a real coach. I’ve been coaching for 29 years,

I’ve coached, I don’t even know, thousands of so many women. And I really do understand how to believe new things and the process that it takes, the process that it takes to heal your relationship. So here’s my take on what to do. One, you have to keep it simple. This whole thought, I’m gonna change everything about myself. I’m gonna change all the things.

I’m gonna be perfect tomorrow. There is no perfection. You just have to keep it simple. It needs to be one or two simple steps that you keep building on as you become the next version of yourself. Number two, do not, I, I need you to hear this one. Oh my gosh, I just need you to hear this one.

Do not do anything. I know I made this real personal today. Usually I stand up. But today I just wanna be with you and me. Do not do anything that you are not willing to do for the rest of your life. If you are not willing to be on keto and cut out all the carbs for the rest of your life, don’t do it.

If you’re not willing to keep doing the weight loss surgeries over and over and over again for every time you stretch out your whatever it is, if you’re not willing to do it for the rest of your life, I want you to really think about it. See, my program, what I teach, are tools so that you can do this for the rest of your life.

You learn how to lose weight, eating a pizza, eating ice cream, and going into your natural, beautiful body that has hunger and fullness. And I know you know all the things out there saying, oh, you don’t have that anymore. Your metabolism’s broken all the, well, I got lots of proof that that’s not true. I got lots of proof from lots of ladies who do this process,

who lose weight, who eat all the things, and know how to also heal their relationship with food and with themselves so that they can change what they believe and what they think so they can have long lasting results. Number three, get support. You know, I think we just think we wanna do it by ourselves and we don’t have support and we don’t see,

you know, I think about this in our community and Transform, Boss, you know, ladies are supporting each other. They’re sharing their challenges. And even if someone’s a lurker, ’cause I’ve seen this many times actually where they’re like lurkers for years actually, and they’re having like success. But what they’re getting from the community, how they’re the people who love to share their challenges or their successes.

They’re being inspired and learning from all of that. So you need support and doing this. I mean, you’ve done this. I always say if I’m left to my own brain by myself, it’s not good. It’s not good, ladies. Oh my gosh, it’s not good. I need help. I need support. And so the third is get support.

So one, keep it simple. Two, don’t do anything that you are not willing to do for the rest of your life. And three, get support. That’s it. I know. And if you’re ready to break the cycle and lose weight for the last time, come join us in Transform where women learn how to lose the mental weight so they can lose the physical weight for the last time we close on October 23rd for the rest of the 2023.

I know I’m gonna love these ladies up. I can’t wait. Our welcome call is on October 25th. Go to jointransformboss.com to join us. I’ll see you on the inside, my left. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and wanna learn more,

come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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