Ep #218: But I Just Love Food

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T-BOSS TAKE #48: Telling Yourself, “I Just Love Food”

Do you love food?

Maybe you love sweets or maybe it’s McDonald’s fries.

Food is an important part of our lives.

We celebrate our traditions with food.

For some of us, years of dieting, binging, and restricting led us to believe that we couldn’t control ourselves around food.

When I was on the diet roller coaster, I never really enjoyed the food. I never really tasted it or savored it.

Food is not love. Food does not love you back. It’s a substance that has nutrients and water in it to help us live and survive.

Food has probably caused you a lot of pain.

This work is about understanding your relationship with food so that you can start to heal it and start to change it.

Through this work, I’ve learned to pay attention to my hunger and fullness.

It no longer provides an emotional need for me.

I live in abundance with food. I don’t restrict. I don’t tell myself I can’t have food.

In today’s episode, I want to help you lose the shame with it so that you can come into awareness that you are in control and that you may enjoy food, it’s just not the center of your universe.

In this episode…

≫[1:44] You have this story that you love food, and it evolves to not being able to control yourself.

≫[5:43] We have deep connections to food and as you’re doing this work, it’s good to understand what those connections are.

≫[6:43] Marketing by the food industry.

≫[7:55] Is the thought, I love food, serving me anymore?

≫[10:12] You do control yourself.

≫[11:27] I live in abundance with food.

≫[12:57] My take.

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You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 218. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen. Hello, love. So happy we’re back with you.

I love today’s episode, and as I’m recording this, we are almost in December. I know like 30 some days left of the year, and here we go. I know, I love it. I love this time of year. I love the holidays and family, families and traditions and my teams, and I think about all my bosses. I just,

I really love this time of year. I know you, you’re like Shannan. I know, I do. It’s my favorite time of year, although I love all parts of the year. I just really love this time of year and it’s beautiful here in Arizona. And so it’s great to be outside and be in the sun and hike bike and do all the things that we love too.

So, mm, I love it. Okay, so today I love this topic. I don’t think I’m, I don’t know that I’ve done an episode on this, but I’m gonna ask you a question. Have you ever just said to yourself when it comes to weight loss, that you just love food? No. Shannan, I just love food. It just calls my name.

I just love it. Maybe you love sweets or maybe it’s just McDonald’s fries, you know, whatever it is. You have this story that food is just so good. And what happens, I think with this story is that evolves to, I just can’t control myself. And so I think about this for most of my life, I thought, I’m a sugar addict.

I, I just can’t control myself around sugar. Like, I just can’t handle myself around, you know, a donut. I have to eat it or cookies. I have to eat them. You know, if I see a dessert table, I’m there. And it was really, again, just a story. And I had many times eaten all the things and eating plenty of them.

It led to this story that I just couldn’t control myself around Sweetss. You know, I was quote unquote dieting. I couldn’t have them in the house because I couldn’t control myself around it. And I think, you know, this stems from many years of dieting and binging and restricting and you know, my relationship, I’m sure your relationship with food is complicated,

and why it is, is because one, we need food to live. Know, it’s really important, right? It’s part of our lives. I mean, it’s in everything that we do. It also is, is the way we celebrate our traditions. We’ve tied comfort to food, right? We’ve made food more than what it is, honestly. I mean,

I have, when I think about how complicated our relationship with food is, it really is. And I think about my mom, who was an amazing cook, actually, I’m a pretty good cook. And the reason why is ’cause my mom and then my grandmother, she was an amazing cook. And my mom was an amazing cook. And my mom loved to cook for people.

She did. Oh my goodness, she loved it. So if you are that person or you’ve had someone in your life like that who just, you know, celebrates with food, can’t wait to watch, you just eat it. You know, they’re just like, I am that way. I can’t wait. You know, when I make a good dinner,

I’m like, we, we just had steak and baked potatoes. I mean, it was such, such a delicious dinner. And I was waiting for Paul. I was like, Ooh, ’cause I can make a steak ladies. And I was like, let me see, you know, watching him. And he’s like, Ooh, this is good.

I’m like, I know it is. And so I get it right. We, when I say we have all of these very complicated history with food, I think about this like even growing up, I mean, you know, I did an episode a couple back about when you’re feeling bad, right? I would get special treats when I was sick.

I was talking to someone the other day too. I think one of my coaches that coach Jen, and we were talking about road trips. I love a road trip, but I have to tell you ladies, mostly it’s because my dad was in the Navy and we everywhere, you know, back then, ladies, you didn’t fly anywhere when people, I don’t know who did,

but it wasn’t my family. And so everywhere we went was a road trip and every time we moved and we moved a ton. And so, you know, we’d go across country or whatever and we’d get, I mean the little, when I think about, I think my dad had like a, at one point, a Chevy Love truck and he had built this whole platform in the back so my brother and I could lay in the back.

It had a cab on it. You know, back in those days you had cabs on the back ends of your truck. And he made this whole thing where he could pack all the suitcases under us on this wood thing. It had cabinets. I mean, it was in this little, like when I think about how small that truck is now, I’m like,

holy moly. But my dad was, you know, he’s a genius. So he had created this whole thing and we would lay back there on these road trips. ’cause you know, it was a single cab, you know, in the front. My parents would be in front, they’d have a little window, they’d talk to us through it. And I loved road trips.

And I’ll tell you why ladies, because on road trips I always got special food. Oh, the gas station food. And my mom would pack snacks and different things and I just loved them. So we have these deep connections to food. As you’re doing this work, it’s so good to understand what those connections are, what are those deep connections that you have with food?

Because as you’re doing this work, I still love food today. This isn’t about not loving food, it’s about understanding your relationship and what it’s doing for you in your life. Because a lot of times it’s filling emotional needs. It’s filling boredom and or comfort, but ultimately it’s causing you more pain when you carry more weight on your body than you want.

Or you have, you know, just so much negative chatter in your brain about what you look like and how you feel. And to all of that, that is miserable. I know I have lived it over and over and over again. This work is so that you can understand this relationship that you have with food. So you can start to heal it and start to change it.

I think about food too. You know, our food has changed through the ages. If you go into a grocery store, you know, probably when my grandmother or my parents back in the forties or fifties, I mean, it was very different. I’m sure there was a few aisles. It just was very different. Now, I mean, mega,

right? You walk into Walmart, there’s 2200 choices. You know, there’s always new stuff mean, the marketing is, I mean, brilliant. They Frankenstein, they put all sorts of things they market to you on TV and ads and, and different things. So that you’re just, oh man, salivating like, Ooh, I can’t wait to try the new pumpkin thing.

Or I can’t wait to try the new, you know, whatever it is, right? Ooh, you see a pizza commercial and you’re like, oh, that is just mouth watering because again, it’s marketing. Just understand you’re getting these messages all the time. It’s all right, fine, no worries. Because what I want you to learn through this process,

and what I want all my bosses to know, is that you’re learning how to make your own decisions based on what you want and the decisions that you want for yourself. And the first step to any of this is just awareness. What is my relationship with food? And this thought, I just love food. Is that serving me anymore? And what am I using food for?

You? Probably, if you’re listening to this, you may have a story that you just love food and you can’t control yourself around it. But food, my love is not love. Food does not love you back. Food is not your best friend. Food has not been there when no one else has been. This is just a story because ultimately you were there when no one else was.

I know, I just want you to hear that food was not there. You were starting to understand and recognize the real relationship. Food is just a substance, you know, it’s just like this cap is the cap to my coffee. It’s just a cap. It’s, you know, it doesn’t lu me back, doesn’t do anything. And if you’re listening to this,

you can’t see the cat. But if you’re watching me on YouTube, you can. And so it’s just a cap and food, you know, whatever it is, it’s a substance. And it has nutrients and water and different things in us to help us live and survive. It is not love. And I would think for most of you who are listening to this right now,

food has caused you a lot of pain. Food caused me a lot of pain. The struggle with my body and the struggle. And again, it wasn’t the food, it was my choices with the food. It caused me a lot of pain, carrying extra weight, you know, feeling like I had destroyed certain parts of my body and things. And worried about like,

oh, what’s the long-term effects of being overweight with my joints and my right? All that mind chatter. And I just want you to take a breath. You can’t change anything that you’ve done. All you can do right now is just move forward. And this exploration of your relationship with food is powerful because food is a substance and you can enjoy it.

And you can tell yourself, Ooh, this is so good. It tastes good. Yeah, so awesome. Right? All of those things are good. You can enjoy your traditions and all of the things and choose for yourself and tell yourself like, I am in control. I’m not out of control with food. I think that’s one of the thoughts that keep us just in the diet rollercoaster.

This thought that we can’t control. You do control yourself. You do at some point always stop and you can control yourself. You know, I think about this today because we just had this like cheesecake. I don’t even know what it was. It was like this cheesecake and had this like a churro topping. And I mean, it was delicious. I got a slice of it and I ate not even half of it.

And I love the rest on the counter. ’cause I knew Paul would eat it later. You know, he always, he’ll finish that kind of stuff for me. I didn’t need to eat all of it. There was a day where I would’ve had so much drama. So if you’re in the place where you’re like, oh, Shannan, I couldn’t have left it.

I just wanna let you know there was a time I couldn’t either. But through this work, I’ve learned to pay attention to my fullness and my hunger. Still enjoy the food that I love and the food that I enjoy and traditions and all the things I don’t need to miss out on anything. I don’t need to have fomo. I just now know,

oh, it tasted really good. Great. It didn’t provide any emotional need for me. It was just food. And me telling myself, oh, this is a cheesecake. It has no power over me. Like it’s just food. I can enjoy it. I can like the taste of it. And now I know how to eat because I live in abundance with food.

I don’t restrict, I don’t tell myself I can’t have foods. And so this again, is part of the healing process. See, what I find is for myself, when I was on the diet roller coaster and doing all the things, I never really enjoyed food. I was eating large portions of it and eating it very quickly and had a lot of guilt and shame around food.

So many times I was hiding and eating. What this led to was hurrying fast before anyone found out or anyone saw how much I ate. And so I never really tasted it. I never really savored it. I never really enjoyed it. This is important to know. Are you really enjoying food? So this story that you just love food and then you’re not tasting it,

you’re not enjoying it, you’re not slowing down, right? Just know is that you? This was me for most of my life. I had so much shame about food and people watching me eat. And if they knew how much I ate and all the things, I mean, all the things I’ve, you know, was a car eater, you know,

grabbed the things before I got home so no one would see, or in the middle of the night grab a snack. And I just wanna help you lose all the shame with it so that you can start to come into awareness that you are in control and that you may enjoy food and you might like it, but it’s not the center of your universe.

So this is the thing. Here’s my take. Number one, we have traditions, we have food that we enjoy, and it’s awesome and I want you to enjoy it. I think through this work, you’ll actually enjoy it more because you’ll slow down. You’ll really taste it. And then you’ll start to see what really enjoying food is, because you’ll find that there are foods that you thought that you loved,

that you’re like, I don’t know, it’s, I don’t, I’m not even into it that much. Like there are foods where I’m like, I don’t know. This doesn’t really taste that great that I thought was so great because I was eating it so fast. I never, I was just getting the dopamine hit. I actually, it wasn’t very good on my taste buds.

I know. Number two, ask yourself how the story about loving food is affecting you because of this thought that you’re out of control. You know, you can’t control yourself, you can’t have certain foods in the house. I just want you to challenge that belief and that story so that you can start to rewrite and change that story. And number three,

you can lose weight eating foods that you enjoy and love. And you do it by starting to slow down, starting to pay attention, seeing when you’re physically hungry versus emotionally hungry. When you start to see and start to feel a little fullness, you can stop. It’s just like that cheesecake I knew. I mean, I just know myself now very well.

And I knew like the whole piece, I wouldn’t feel that good, and I just don’t want to not feel good. So it’s an overarching belief that I have now. And so I was like, oh, I’ll have a couple bites. I’ll really slow down, enjoy it. It was very tasty. And then I’ll leave the rest on the counter.

And I am no doubt, and actually I saw Paul eat it. He is like, oh, you’re gonna leave this? I’m like, yes. And he ate it up. And so again, you can lose weight. Enjoy the foods with the process that I teach. Number four, okay, this is an important one. I haven’t talked about this in the episode yet.

So a lot of times we tie love and food with, you know, sugar or pizza or whatever. If you’re salty girl potato chips through this work, because I had restricted and I had binge the foods that I liked a lot, but I had them in my head as diet foods. I had to heal that relationship with those foods. So for example,

I tied salads to diet food. And so when I was eating it, it was like, oh, I’ve got to eat this. I’ve got to eat my vegetables. I’ve gotta, you know, right. Instead of now when I eat a salad, I’m like, oh, this tastes so good. I love it. I mean, I love a good salad,

right? Not a yucky cheap. And I mean cheap by like old. You know how like sometimes you get a salad that’s pre-made and you’re like, Ooh, this has been sent out. Yes. Not those kinds, but the kinds that you make that are fresh and just amazing and you have vegetables that you like and an amazing dressing, right? All of the things,

I love a good salad, but there was a time, because I had dieted so much, that salad meant punishment for me. I know. I just want you to hear that. Salad, good food, vegetables, protein, you know, all the things I had. Like here’s my diet food and here’s my binge food. And I had to heal the relationship with quote unquote,

what I used to think was diet food. And some of that was fuel food, and some of it wasn’t. Right? As you’re going through this process, love the food that feels good in your body too. Start to heal that part of your relationship. The food that you love to eat, right? Like we had steak and baked potato. I’m trying to think what else we had.

Oh, mushrooms. Oh my gosh, it was so good. Ladies loved it. I’m like, and I talk to myself just like I would when I ate that cheesecake, I slowed down. I enjoyed it. I talked to myself about it. ’cause that was a total fuel food meal for me. And so when you talk to yourself about this as you’re healing this,

as you’re changing the story in your head about it, do that with good food too. Your fuel food, right? I don’t like to say good. No. Ooh, I know ladies, it’s always there. But fuel, food, the food that feels good in your body, that fuel food, love that food too. When you’re eating that food,

I love to visualize the like nutrients or the water, whatever it has in it. And it just like, Ooh, my brother, actually, we were over at my dad’s house and he came out with watermelon. I had not had, I’m not a fruit eater, it doesn’t normally feel very good in my body, but he had a taken a toothpick.

’cause he had cut up this watermelon and he gave me a piece of watermelon. Mm. I mean, it was so delicious. And I thought about all the water in it and all the amazingness of it, and I just slowed down and I eat it and I really enjoy it. So I do that with all the foods. And as you start to do this and you start to figure out what feels good in your body,

what fuels you, and then you’ll also have the non-fuel food. So for me, like that, cheesecake is for sure non-fuel. I still eat it. And then what happens over time is you start to think differently about food. It’s not the center of your universe because you’re starting to create a life where you dream or you enjoy hobbies that you have or things that you like to do.

And you start to, one day it’ll hit you as it did me. Like, wow. Like, yes, this is it. I love to enjoy food. It’s not the center of my universe. It’s not everything. It’s just food. And I can enjoy it, and I can enjoy my fuel food, my non-fuel food, and I can just move on.

Because food is just food. It’s not love. Hmm. All right, my love. If you wanna take this work deeper than go on to jointransformboss.com, you can learn all about coming and join us in Transform Boss. And then also make sure you follow this podcast that way every Wednesday I’m in your podcast library. And then if you wanna get on my email list every Wednesday,

we send out a Wednesday, coach Spark, an email that I write, you wanna get on it, go to  bflycoaching.com/email. Alright, my love. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and wanna learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s bflycoaching.com.

See you next week.

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