Ep #221: What Does It Mean to Love Myself

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T-BOSS TAKE #51: Finding Love for Yourself

Many of us have a difficult time finding love for ourselves.

Our brain consistently focuses on what is not good and what we are not doing right. Many of us have a lot of self-loathing and it decreases our capacity to love ourselves and to love others.

The outside world says we are to be humble and have humility, so we have internalized those messages to make it mean we cannot celebrate ourselves.

At its core, self-love is a deep and unconditional acceptance of who you are, embracing both strengths and weaknesses.

It involves nurturing a positive relationship with yourself, acknowledging your worth, and treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would offer a cherished friend.

It means celebrating your achievements, learning from your mistakes, and understanding that you are worthy of love and happiness just as you are.

You are enough today and the number on the scale doesn’t change any of that.

In today’s episode, I give you my take on how to find love and acceptance for yourself and how to use it to lose weight for the last time.

In this episode…

≫[2:15] Shannan talks about the reasons we don’t have self-love.

≫[3:00] We have internalized messages to make it mean that we can’t celebrate our beauty and our successes.

≫[3:25] A really easy way to know how much you’re loving yourself are the relationships in your life and how easy it is for you to forgive others and love others.

≫[4:06] When we have a lot of self-loathing, it decreases our capacity to love ourselves and to love others.

≫[4:49] It’s acceptance of who you are, acceptance that you’re not perfect.

≫[5:24] Here’s my take.

≫[7:16] Celebrate your success.

≫[7:45] As you come into the process of increasing the love you have for yourself, it will help you increase your love for others.

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You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 221. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen. Hello, I love, here we are.

If you’re listening to this as it’s released, we are coming up on Christmas. It is releasing on the 20th of December, 2023. I know some of you’ll be listening to this way after years after that, but you know, I tell you, I’m wishing all of you a beautiful holiday with whatever you celebrate. And Merry Christmas to all that. Celebrate Christmas. And I hope that this week is full of love and blessings and all the amazingness for you.

And you know, I’m so grateful for you to listen to this podcast. And every week as I think about what I want to share, I think about you. I think about, you know, someone’s struggling, struggling with their weight, and struggling with finding self-love and struggling on this diet roller coaster. And I want you to know that there is hope and that you can do this.

And I’m just grateful that I get to be a part of it. So today I wanna talk about self-love. And what is it and what does it mean, and why is it even important? You know, I remember my mom, she always would say when I was younger, you know, love myself. And you know, there’s all these messages out there.

More self-love, self-love self-love. And I think for most of us, probably all of my beautiful ladies listening to this podcast, we love others, right? We love others, and we know what that means. And when it comes to love for ourselves, we get a little lost. And we put so much effort outwardly to other humans, to all the things that we have,

that when it comes to, you know, loving ourselves, it can be difficult. And one of the reasons why is because we know us. We know all the good, all the bad. We know all our imperfections, the thoughts, the good thoughts and the bad thoughts. We know all our failures, all the mistakes we’ve made. We know all the wrongs we’ve done.

And our brain just consistently focuses on what is not good, what we’re not doing right, all of that. And so it can be difficult because we have, and, and some of this comes from the outside world too, that we’re not enough, that we don’t deserve it. And so we can have a difficult time finding love for ourselves. And,

you know, add in that, you know, we’re to be humble and modest and having humility and not be boastful. We have internalized those messages to make it mean that we can’t celebrate our beauty, our successes. We cannot feel love for ourselves. And what I have found with myself and clients, when we have a lot of self loathing right for ourselves,

we’re judgmental of ourselves. We beat ourselves up. It can make it harder for us to forgive, forgive ourselves, but also a really easy way to know how much you’re loving yourself are the relationships in your life. And how easy it is for you to forgive others, to love others. See, as I’ve done this work on myself, I’ve increased the capacity of love for myself.

And what’s happened is I have a really enormous capacity to love and forgive and have grace and kindness for other humans, no matter how they show up to me. I tell you this work, this powerful work of starting to love myself, starting to practice self-love is just everything. And so, when we have a lot of self-loathing, what it does is it decreases our capacity to love,

to love ourselves, and to love the other humans. And so what happens, and what I believe self-love is, I think it’s not, you know, the commercials, it is this deep process of recognizing your own worth, accepting your flaws and perfect, and treating yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and respect that you would offer a loved one that you would show to someone else.

It is keeping commitments to yourself and putting yourself on the list. I said this word, but it’s so important. And it’s acceptance. It’s acceptance of who you are, acceptance of the journey that you’ve been on, acceptance that you’re not perfect, that you’re an imperfect human, that you have good days and bad, and that you’re perfect and amazing and wonderful and imperfect.

Just the way you are today, not just when you lose the weight. Mm, I know. Just hear what I just said. You are amazing and wonderful and accepting that, that that is true today. You are enough today, you are worthy today. And that weight and a number on the scale it, it doesn’t change any of that. So here’s my take one.

The first thing I want you to do is I think it’s easy to start to do this work on other humans, and then you come back to yourself. So number one, pick a person that you love the most and really think about them and really think about what you do with them. How do you accept them? How do you forgive them? This is important.

This first part, you are gonna go think about another person. Why is because it’s easier to think about other humans. But then I’m gonna have you flip it on yourself. So you’re gonna pick a person who you love the most. You are going to really reflect on how you treat them, how you accept them, how you forgive them, how you want the best for them.

And then number two, you’re going to reflect on what self love means for you. By flipping how you accept them, forgive them and love them to, how can I do this for me? How can I love myself, accept myself, forgive myself? How can I want the best for myself? When is the last time that you really truly wanted the best for you?

You wanted to live your very best life, and you are all in on you. And this reflection of what this means is how you start to create more love for yourself. And number three is really practicing this habit of gratitude and success for yourself. So being grateful for your talents and your abilities for your successes, showing compassion to yourself, and then really celebrating when you have a success.

We don’t do that enough. I want you to hear that. Celebrate your success. We are so scared of being too bright and too shiny. And what if people judge me? People are gonna judge either ways. We’re humans. We all judge. So I don’t worry about it anymore. There are humans who will love me. There are humans who won’t.

Okay? There are humans who think I’m too much humans who think I’m too less. I can’t worry about any of it ’cause I can’t control any of it. And so I’m gonna celebrate my successes. I’m gonna have love for myself because why would I want it any other way? As you come into this process, look at how to increase the love that you have for yourself.

It will help you in your life. Increase the love for others. But all of you listening, have that one person. Maybe it’s one person, maybe it’s a pet that you just love the most, and I really want you to reflect on how you think and treat them, forgive them. And then how can you flip that back to yourself and treat yourself in that same way?

Ooh, it’s so good. And are you ready to feel better? You wanna take this work to the next level? You wanna heal your relationship with food and yourself and lose that mental weight? Number one, follow this podcast. Hit the plus sign. You can even rate or review it too. I love seeing the ratings and reviews. So you can rate and review the show too.

And then also, two, get on my email list. Go to bflycoaching.com/email. And you know, every Wednesday I send out an email. And number three, join us. And Transform Boss, you can go to jointransformboss.com to learn all about my monthly membership program where we just take this work deeper and you know, we have support and love,

and we have so many amazing things. So ladies can live their best life so you can live your best life in a body that you love. Hmm. All right, my love. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and wanna learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com

That’s bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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