You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 223. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen. Hello, love. So happy back with you.
Happy New Year. Are you ready to make this your best year ever? Yes. Oh yes, yes, yes. I love a good new year. I do. You know, I love to think about all the amazing things that will come this year and my own growth and the growth of all the women I work with and my bosses, and to watch them and my team.
I just cannot wait. I am doing a free training to help you achieve your goals this year and make this your best year ever. So just go to bflycoaching.com, you’ll see the banner and you’ll be able to sign up. And we’ll also place, you know, the link in the show notes, so you have that too. You’ll get all the information when you sign up.
Yes. Let’s go ladies. So today I wanna talk about your inner rebel. You know her, right? Right. I know. Did you know you had one? I think you probably do. Maybe you didn’t put those words to it. But your inner rebel really is actually a psychological concept, but just every human has one. And this is where I believe it can feel like you’re almost going against your own will.
And like you have maybe some thoughts and some things like, why am I not doing the best things for myself? Hmm. Have you ever had that thought? Have you ever like, whoa, like why? And it, it’s important to understand your inner rebel and you know, maybe some of the causes of when it’s in full force. And then how to start to,
what I like to think of as making peace with your inner rebel, your inner rebel’s always gonna be there. It’s just part of your wiring. And the inner rebel can for sure work against your goals and your dreams and the best things for yourself, you know? So let’s talk about how the inner rebel shows up when it comes to weight loss. So the inner rebel,
what it is, is it’s just the part of your brain that resist rules, restriction, external control. It’s the part of your brain that wants to be in control. And when you start to believe, again, this is part of you, you start to think that you’re not in control or restriction or you don’t have autonomy, then this inner rebel can really pipe up and really kind of take over.
In weight loss, it really comes up with deprivation. So if you deprive yourself of your favorite foods, of things you like to do, the inner rebel, the opposite effect of deprivation thinking that you’re deprived or that you can’t have certain foods is binging, overeating, eating, all of that food that you tell yourself you can’t have. And then also just the cravings and the food noise.
So food noise is that chatter in your brain that’s just going on and on and on and on. And it feels heavy, right? It feels tiresome, really, where you’re just thinking about food. You want food, you craving food. That’s part of your inner rebel, because all of us as humans, we want and crave freedom. And some of these are just mental constructs.
’cause if you really think about it, you are free to eat what you want. Yes, you’ve probably eaten what you’ve wanted mostly. And so again, this is just your thinking, right? It always comes back to that mental weight. It’s your thinking that you’re deprived. It’s thinking that you can’t have food, even if you actually never deprive yourself.
It’s the thinking around it that actually brings on the rebel. The part of you that’s like, oh no, we’re not doing that. Right? You know, another way this shows up, or you can see some of the triggers, is this kind of all or nothing thinking. So it’s like, I’m all in. You know what I’m talking about?
You’re like all in, you’re like doing the things. I mean, it’s the beginning of the year. So right now you might feel really like, yes, yes. This is the year, right? You tell yourself, and so you’re like, I’m gonna do all the things. I’m gonna do it perfectly. Those thoughts actually will bring on the inner rebel,
and then you’ll start to sabotage your success and the things that you’re doing. And then we have the nothing thinking, which is where, you know, February, March, you’re like, Ugh, forget about it. I’ll start, you know, next week, Monday after Easter, you know, whatever, right? It’s always pushing it off. And so when you’re in this cycle,
the diet cycle, that’s what it is, right? It’s all or nothing restriction or overeating. Again, it goes back to this inner rebel who wants freedom, who wants autonomy, who honestly wants healing from some of this. And so understanding your inner rebel and how it’s showing up for you without making it wrong, or judging it or thinking you don’t have any control,
you do. It’s part of you. And so part of this, this awareness of how it’s showing up for you, and so much of this again, is just your thinking. Mostly it’s not your actions. I know it sounds like counterintuitive, but for many of you, you’re not really restricting, but you think you should be. You think you’ll do better,
you know, you think you’ll be good, and you’ve tied certain foods, right? So foods that are fuel, foods that feel better in your body, that have more nutrition, you might tie those to diet foods. And so when you do that, you think you’re being good. So then if you eat a cookie or a bag of chips or macaroni and cheese,
you might then, you know, start to have thoughts that you’re being bad. And again, this is just, this is the diet roller coaster. This is why you found me. Because you want off, you want off the diet roller coaster, and you wanna make peace with your inner rebel so that you can start to experience what freedom really feels like.
Freedom from the mental weight that is keeping you from losing the physical weight. So I wanna talk a little bit about psychological resistance. And this is really just that concept of the inner rebel, where really resisting external rules and restrictions, it’s really this wiring, this natural tendency that we all have to resist. I know, I want you to hear this.
Resist change new information or ex actions that challenge their existing beliefs, habits, or comfort zones. So being overweight, looking for new diets, you know, being in this drama of it all that is probably very familiar to you, beating yourself up, telling yourself you can’t lose weight. Telling you yourself, how difficult. It’s very familiar. I think it’s very exhausting,
but because it’s a familiar, we actually think that, you know, doing this work of healing your relationship with food and going back more into changing beliefs and thoughts, and you know, we think that’s hard, but actually it’s just a lie that we’ve told ourselves for so long, because we think things that are familiar are easier. But that’s not the truth.
Just because something is familiar does not make it easy, right? It’s not easy to be overweight, it’s not easy to have food, drama. It’s not easy to not enjoy yourself when you go out to dinner with friends, because all you’re thinking about is food. This psychological resistance shows up because we as humans, resist change. We resist new information because we have these beliefs that are so ingrained with diet,
culture, and just our whole diet roller coaster. And this happens, right? Because we wanna be comfortable and our brain is consistently trying to get us back to this comfort zone. And so, even if it’s not in your best interest, you have to know this about yourself. I know sometimes you’re like Shannan, like, like, why am I sabotaging my success?
Why? This isn’t even for my good, like I’m in physical pain. I have, you know, health results in my life that I don’t want all the things. And again, it’s not, and this is important. Don’t judge yourself, beat yourself up about it. It, that’s not helpful. It’s not useful. Just know that you’re a human.
It’s just how we’re wired. And when you can start to change, you know what you’re thinking, what you’re believing. And the first step is always awareness. So understanding that your inner rebel is there. Now, this is a really important concept, and it’s called loss aversion. This is important because we are more likely to be averse to potential losses than we are potential gains.
Okay? So what this means, let me give you the example I’m more fearful of losing. Could be relationships. It could be your puffy skin. You don’t want the loose skin. It could be you think you can’t eat your favorite food, so you don’t wanna lose your favorite foods, you don’t want to eat less, right? So that loss is more powerful than the gains of living your life in your best body,
feeling good about yourself, right? Fueling your body more than non-fuel. So you feel more energy. It is like counterintuitive, right? Because you’re like, wait, I want the best for me. But loss aversion shows up. This again is where you are feeling more motivated, right? I’ll use this word, it’s not my favorite word ’cause it’s a feeling,
but I wanna use it in this context because you’re more fearful, I guess is probably the better word, of, you know, the loss rather than what you’re gonna win, what you’re gonna gain, what your life will be like, because it takes time to get to that and time and work and all of the things. And so your brain just stays into the comfortable and the familiar,
ultimately, this is really important. It feels risky to lose weight. And just coming to that awareness of what do you think that you will lose when you lose weight, when you release it for the last time? This doesn’t have to make sense. It can be illogical. This is why coaching is so powerful, and I see it with women, you know,
we coach them, I coach them, I coach, coach them, and they didn’t even know. They believed that. They didn’t even know that they were hanging onto the weight because of fear of loss of their husband. Fear that they’re gonna turn into some new person, that no one’s gonna like fear that they’re going to become too bright and shiny and you know,
they’re gonna suddenly become conceited. You know, all of these things, these are just fears. And so it keeps us stuck. So add in diet, culture and the cycle of the binge and restrict, and we’ve really, diet, culture and dieting has really tapped in to our worst fears. And so it keeps the inner rebel thinking it’s protecting us.
Really, that’s what it wants. It thinks it’s having freedom. We’ve a tide eating everything at any time. Eating, you know, mass amounts is freedom, but it’s the chains that have kept us in the binge restrict cycle and overeating and living a life that you know, you don’t want in a body, that you want to be a little different.
The mental piece of this, the, the drama of it all, the, the thinking of it all, the chatter of it all, I think is what is the most exhaustive, because there’s so much judgment in your own brain. And remember, so much of this is just going on in your subconscious. Mm. Because remember, if you’re numbing with food,
you don’t have a lot of the conscious thoughts of what’s really happening. This is where I believe coaching is so powerful because you get into those subconscious thoughts that are continually putting the inner rebel in charge. So what do you do? Number one, awareness. It’s just understanding how the inner rebel is showing up for you. And you know, what are those sorts of triggers,
right? What are the things, what are the things that you’re most fearful of when you lose weight? And you know, ladies, ladies will be like, oh, I’m just so excited. No, I know, I know it’s like Shannan, but I’m telling you, you’re holding onto weight and there’s multiple reasons, but one of them, I probably could guess is that you have a fear of some sort of loss.
And so just this awareness. So then you can, number two, start to talk to yourself. You can start to tell yourself and acknowledge your fear. You can tell yourself that you’re okay, that you’re safe. I love to tell myself, we’re safe, Myah. We’re okay. We got this. We’re okay. I like to tell myself what we’re doing and how it’s healing us.
I like to tell my inner rebel that it’s okay, we got this. This is for us. This is for the best of us. And so when you start to talk to yourself, when you start to show kindness to yourself, it’s the second step of this process. The third step is about allowance. Restriction does not work long term. It does.
It just doesn’t. It doesn’t because it just feeds the inner rebel. And eventually, you know, you can’t white knuckle it long enough, or you can’t have, quote unquote, the willpower long enough. You will end up overeating or binging or quitting, whatever it is that you’re doing because you have to lose weight with allowance. This starts with, if I looked at a straight line and one part of the end of the line was restriction and one part was binging,
right? I would want to shave off those ends and come more to the middle. There’s no real middle because sometimes you’re going to eat a little less and sometimes you’re going to eat a little more. It’s just coming from the extreme ends of restriction and binging and overeating to bringing it more to the middle. And you do this through allowance, through starting to change the way that you talk and think about food.
When you start to think of this, food fuels me, this does not, I am not good or bad whether whatever I eat you as a human, you’re not good or bad based on what you eat. It’s just food. So it’s starting to break those ties between good or bad again, and bringing shaving off the ends, right? You’re just kind of bringing it more into this kind of middle zone.
And then number four, you know, this year in Transform Boss, I just cannot even wait. We are upleveling so many different pieces. Every year I just, I learn more. I’m always a learner, and I watch my clients and I’m like, okay, how can we make this simpler, easier for them so they can reach all their dreams and goals?
And so I just invite you to come and spend the year with us again. There are so many exciting things this year and every single month we’re diving in deeper and really showing ladies how they can apply this and ultimately heal this mental weight when it comes to weight loss. And so I just invite you to come join us. You can go to jointransformboss.com and of course,
come to one of my trainings this month. I’m gonna do a couple of them. So come join us. You can go to bflycoaching.com. Actually, we’ll probably put it on jointransformboss.com too, so you can come and join us in one of those free trainings. Yes, let’s go 2024. Let’s go. Let’s do this. This is the year that you can change your life.
Yes, this is it. All right, bye, for now love. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and wanna learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s bflycoaching.com. See you next week.