You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 224. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen. Happy New Year. Hello, love.
So happy to be back with you. And I just wanna tell you, this is the third time I’m recording this, ladies. One time. I didn’t like something the way that I said it, and I was like, oh, I wanna reteach it. So I started it over and then I forgot to record it. And so now this is the third time.
I mean, third time is the charm. They say it’s all good, but this is what I say. I love it when you know, sometimes we fail, right? I mean, I fail every day, I do things, and I just like to think everything’s for me. I think this is gonna be the best time that I recorded it.
So, yay. So if you’re like many folks, you have set some goals, this is the beginning of the year, and I love goals and I love setting them. And maybe you’ve even thought of it like what you wanna do, what you wanna accomplish this year. So maybe you wanna accomplish, you know, you want to lose weight, or you want to get your finances in order,
you wanna have better relationships, whatever it is. I think the new year is just like a mile marker in your life. It’s just the post, right? It’s just the beginning of something of this time. And I just one want to say, because there’s a lot of shame, like don’t set resolutions, don’t set goals, you know, all this stuff.
And we have a lot of fear, right? Because we have broken our commitments, we’ve been inconsistent. And so we can have a little fear. And I just wanna offer to you that I think thinking about your future and what you want to accomplish, I think it’s amazing. I think it’s a great thing. And what I’m gonna teach you today is how to think about it a little different when it comes to consistency.
And as you start to think about what you want to do this year, and the goals that you want to set, whatever it is for you, starting to be consistent and how consistency shows up for you is important. You know, when a lady signs up for my email list through many different ways, whether it’s through a challenge or through our free course,
whatever it is, you know, I always send a welcome email. And in that email I always ask, what’s your biggest struggle? Because I’m always learning. I always want to make this simpler, easier. I want to help women get off the diet rollercoaster for good. And so one of the biggest, maybe the top reason that I see the most often is consistency.
And it’s always kind of put in, I would say mostly with motivation, lack of motivation. And I wanna talk about consistency and why inconsistency can show up, and what is consistency. And we’re gonna talk about weight loss. ’cause that’s what we do here, what consistency and weight loss means. So inconsistency and how I think when ladies respond, and my own struggles and inconsistency comes from this,
starting and stopping this, I’m gonna do everything. I’m gonna be perfect. And then what happens is time moves on and I start kind of quote unquote slipping, right? I start telling myself, I’m not doing it enough. It’s not coming off fast enough. I’m not losing it fast enough. I can’t do this. I’ll do this later. I’ll start on Monday.
You know, whatever it is. And so it’s this off on back forth, you know, moving forward, slipping, going backwards. But it’s all our thinking around it. And we start to develop this belief that we’re inconsistent, that our reason that we can’t lose weight is because we can’t be consistent. You know, we throw in motivation too. I just,
I’m just not motivated, and I don’t believe you need motivation at all to lose weight. I think that’s actually a limiting belief when you think you have to be motivated. I’m mostly never motivated. I really, truly, I just have this process that I’m gonna talk about that helps me, and you know, all the tools that I have and the guardrails that I have,
because mostly I will tell myself I don’t wanna do it. Yeah. And I just have learned how to overcome my thinking by talking to myself more than I, listen, if you’ve been on the diet roller coaster, this kind of stop, start, begin, you know, being all in, being off, you know all the things. And somewhere probably in your quote unquote diet history,
you’ve had some success, right? You’ve had like this place where you had some momentum and you felt really good, and maybe you lost weight. And so you’re always trying to get back there. And so now you just tell yourself, well, I’m being inconsistent. And so why does inconsistency, why does it show up? How does it show up?
One of the first things that, I think one of the reasons is this overcommitment. And so overcommitment is telling yourself, having thoughts about, I need to do all the things. So if you think about weight loss, right? You say to yourself, I’m going to lose X amount of weight. And then you say, okay, so I’ve gotta start meal prepping.
I’ve gotta go to the grocery store and buy healthy food. I’ve got to clear my pantry, I’ve got to move my body. I’ve got to cut out all the sugar in the carbs. I’ve got to drink more water. I need to start really reading those books. You know, look at the book clubs, everyone’s in. I need to start doing this.
I need to start doing that. And so you start overcommitting, you go, you know, gangbusters, and you’re like, I’m gonna do all the things. And then what happens is it becomes a space where maybe you one are overcommitted, you’re doing too many things, and, but then two, you’re trying to change too many things at once. And so then your brain is like,
danger, danger, let’s shut all this down. This is too much. And then you start to feel overwhelmed, and then you slowly start slipping, all right? You start like quitting on yourself, and it, it happens for many of you, some of you, it’s just like, I quit, I don’t wanna do this. I’ll think about it later.
And then you start to numb out. But some of you, it’s this real quiet, you know, slow kind of thing that you’re not even really conscious of. It’s all happening in your subconscious that’s driving like a little extra eat here, a little this, a little, you know, all the things. And so overcommitting is just trying to do all the things.
You know, it comes from the second reason why I think inconsistency can show up is perfectionism. And so perfectionism is this, I want to do it perfectly. This comes to these extremes that we have. So if I need to lose weight, I need to cut out all sugar. If I need to lose weight, I need to exercise five days,
a week, an hour. Not only do I need to do cardio, I also need to do weights. Well, I better do stretching too. I know, I know. So it’s like perfectionism that I’ve gotta do that, and I’ve, I need to do it in this kind of extreme perfect way. So I’m gonna overcommit tell myself I need to do all this stuff,
and then I have to do it perfectly. And if I don’t do it perfectly, so if I only go to the gym twice this week, or I only eat on plan two times this week, or three times this week, then I’m failing. And when I’m failing, then I want to start to quit because then I tell myself, it’s not working.
This is important because just understanding how inconsistency is showing up for you. So again, this overcommitting is the first piece of it, right? Trying to do 20 things, five things, 10 things, and then this perfectionism, I need to do it perfectly. I need to do it 100% all the time, all the way. And when I have a challenge,
and when I have a failure, it means it’s not working and I need to quit. And so the third thing I wanna offer you is just the words and the language that we use around creating these overcommitted goals or these perfectionism thoughts is the language and the words that we use, and our language in the way that we speak to ourselves and the thoughts that we have are really important.
It matters because our thoughts produce our feelings. And so when you think, a lot of times it’s like, I need to lose a hundred pounds, right? You look in the mirror like, oh, I need to lose a hundred pounds or 50 pounds, or whatever it is for you. And then that language, right of those words, make you feel a certain way.
It can make you feel overwhelmed. It can also just, sometimes you can start to feel frustrated with yourself, right? It also can just feel like too much, right? You can just start to have feelings of overwhelmed, but really a, a lesser feeling of just like neutrality, where you just are like, ugh, indifferent to it. And so I,
I think about this too, in any area, right? Not just weight loss, but maybe you’re like, oh, I’m gonna organize my house. My house is a lot, my house is overcommitting. But if I say something, if I use the language of, oh, you know what, I’m going to reorganize this drawer, that language, that thought,
that sentence sounds different and it feels different in your body. And so the language and the words that we use are really important. So the secrets, the secrets to consistency in weight loss, number one is one step at a time. I know that we’ve been told that we can multitask, which they’ve proven over and over again. That’s a lie. You can’t,
your brain can only focus on one thing at a time. And so it might be going back and forth, but it can only do one thing at a time. And so one step at a time is focusing on the step in front of you, focusing on the process, right? Focusing on the next thing, not the next hundred things. It’s focusing on the next step.
I think about this, I’m not gonna go into the full story, but my personal coach tells this story, and I love it. And it’s about climbing a mountain. And what I like about this story is this thought of when we look at our journey ahead of us, and let’s say we wanna climb a mountain and we’re at the bottom of the mountain,
and it looks just so much, it can feel overwhelming, which then makes the journey harder, rather than just focusing on the one step in front, one step in front, I’ve listened to lots of ultra runners and people who do what I think is just very difficult things, and they always say that they just like, they constantly are just bringing their brain back,
not to the a hundred miles they’re running. They bring their brain back to this one step in front of them. And that actually helps them go further. If they think about how long the journey is, or how many hours they’re in, or how many hours they have left, a lot of times they lose or they can’t finish versus when they focus on one step at a time.
And so one of the secrets to staying consistent is just focusing on the one step, not the 10 things, the one step, just the one next best action. The one thing in front of me, that is number one. Number two is focusing on how you feel and the process versus the data. So I say this because understanding how you want to feel will help you.
You know, you’ll have to produce thoughts to produce that feeling. So let me give you an example. So I want to feel committed means I have to think thoughts that will make me feel committed. So I am going to do this one thing today, right? And then when I do the one thing, I feel committed. And so focusing on how you want to feel,
I wanna feel strong. I wanna feel committed. I wanna feel freedom. I want to feel love for myself. I want to feel light. I want to feel, you know, resilient. When you focus on how you want to feel, versus this is the opposite of it. So let’s just say you’re like, okay, Shannan, I’m listening to you and I’m gonna just,
my goal is gonna be five pounds this month. And then you are just zeroed in on that five pounds. You’re not focused on how you’re feeling, you’re not focused on the process, you’re just focused in on that. So every day you get on the scale. You know, the scale fluctuates for many different reasons. Many, many, many reasons.
And so you’re just zeroed in on that. You focus on this data point, like weight and the scale and the number, and then there are fluctuations. And so then you start to feel like your perceived effort. So the effort that you’ve given. So you start telling yourself, oh, I’ve done such a good job. I’ve been so good. I,
you know, this is what you, the thoughts you have. And then you get on the scale and you’ve gained a pound, and then you feel devastated. You feel frustrated, you feel angry, you know, whatever it is. And then you want to give up. Then you’re like, okay, I might as well eat the thing because this isn’t working,
because that data can change. You know how I look at the scale, and I’ll say this briefly, is I always look at if you’re gonna weigh daily or weekly, it’s so that you can manage your mind around it, so you can see what comes up when you get on the scale. Okay? That’s that. But if you really wanna see progress and weight,
I always recommend a monthly or a quarterly weigh in because you’ll have less fluctuations. And if you try to do it where it’s just every day, you’re gonna feel a lot of frustration. And especially if you’re newer to this work of the mental weight, the scale can be just really difficult to overcome. And it can, again, produce thoughts. I’m not doing enough.
I need to do more. And then you start changing everything you’re doing, even though the result was right around the corner. But because you start changing things and you start freaking out because you’re focused on the data versus the process and the feelings, you start changing, you start becoming inconsistent. You start thinking, you know you’re failing. And so focusing on the process and how you’re feeling instead of the data is another secret to being more consistent.
The third one, I know I’m not gonna tell you what I know because I want you to come join me in my class. You’re like, Shannan, I know. But come join me in my class. I’m gonna give you the three secrets. I’m gonna really dive in deep on these, why it’s shown up, and then what to do. I’m gonna give you three secrets to consistency for weight.
Loss is the name of the class. I’m doing it three times in January, so you can sign up at bflycoaching.com/threesecrets. I’m doing three of the same class, so you only need to pick one. Come to one, come spend an hour with me. It’s gonna be an hour long, and I’m gonna teach you the third secret. But I’m also gonna,
again, just dive a little deeper into each one of the secrets and what to do and how to implement them in your own weight loss journey. Again, if you want to lose weight for the last time, get off the diet roller coaster. Ultimately, just make it easier on yourself. Then one, follow this podcast, click the plus sign. If you’re on Apple,
anywhere else, click follow, subscribe. So I’m in your inbox every Wednesday. And then two, get on my email list, go to bflycoaching.com/welcome, and then of course, come and join us. And Transform Boss Weight Loss, because this is really where we do the deep work. And every year Transform Boss gets better because of my own learning,
my coaches’ learnings, my client’s learnings, and we’re just consistently upleveling what we offer, what we do. And this year will be no different. 2024 is gonna be amazing. Come spend the year with me. You can go to jointransformboss.com to learn more about it. Yes. All right, my love. I’ll see you in the class again.
You can go to bflycoaching.com/threesecrets, an S at the end, or just bflycoaching.com. You’ll see the banner, and you’ll be able to sign up from there. Pick one of the classes and come join me for an hour. Yes. All right, my love. Let’s go. Bye below. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women.
If you love what you heard today and wanna learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s bflycoaching.com. See you week.