Ep #229: What Are You Really Craving?

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Episode #229: What Are You Really Craving?

What are you really craving?

I used food to comfort myself, to soothe myself, and as a filler.

It was just a cheap substitute.

Maybe you’re craving love and acceptance.

You may seek this from others, but you need this from yourself.

What are you really craving?

Ask yourself this question, but don’t be afraid of the answer.

Once you know the answer, then you can decide what to do.

If you’re not sure and not sure what to do about it, listen to today’s episode of the podcast.

In this episode…

≫[1:58] Carrying extra weight is just a symptom of a life you are not creating.

≫[3:46] I used food to comfort myself. I used food to soothe. I used food as a filler.

≫[6:07] Part of this process of losing weight and getting off the diet roller coaster for good is understanding why you’re carrying the weight in the first place.

≫[7:18] If you don’t have acceptance and love and forgiveness and trust and respect for yourself, how can you expect anyone else to give it to you?

≫[7:41] Understand one thing that you’re really craving.

≫[8:22] Decide how you can start putting more of it in your life.

≫[9:02] When you’re reaching for the cookie, ask yourself what am I really craving right now?

≫[9:28] Asking yourself questions gets you out of that automatic brain and gets you into your prefrontal, thinking brain.

≫[10:19] You don’t have to go out and change your life, you can just take one step.

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You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 229. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen. Hello, love. So happy back with you.

Here we are, and this is getting released on Valentine’s Day. Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you. If you’re listening to it later, I still, I’m sending you all the love, all the hearts, and I hope that you have a really amazing Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day to me, is a space where I get to just think about all the people that I get to love.

Ugh, it’s amazing. I am very lucky in this life. I get to love so many amazing humans and be loved by them too. And I like to celebrate it. I just like to think on this day how blessed I am. So I’m blessed that all of you come and listen and have allowed me to be a part of your journey. So thank you and happy Valentine’s Day.

So what are you really craving? Ooh, I know. This is a good one, right? I love this because I love this question, but I wanna talk about weight loss for a second. And what I believe, so I’ve talked about this on the podcast in many different episodes, but I believe that weight loss is just a symptom. It’s kind of like,

you know, like if your nose starts running or maybe you start coughing, those are just symptoms of maybe the cold or a flu or whatever, right? So weight loss to me, and I, I say loss, but actually carrying extra weight is just a symptom of a life that you are not creating. And why this is important is because I believe that as women,

that’s my audience. That’s who I am. That’s the experience I have on this earth, is we have been people pleasers all the things. And many women, I think we’ve been socialized to, you know, we grow up, we have parents, we have all these influences, and we’re told what we should be, who we are. Even like,

we’re shy. We’re this, we’re, you know, not smart, or too smart, or you know, oh, you’re not pretty. I mean, all the things. I mean, oh my gosh, ladies, all the things. I mean, if I think about all the things I’ve been told in my life, so many different things. And so what happens is we just make ourselves small,

you know, if they don’t see me, if I hide a little bit in the corner, or we go to the other extreme and we’re just out, you know, like just, you know, doing the things, feeling like we overcompensate for it. And I think all of it is just this like symptom of you are not the one who’s creating your own life.

You started a career, that’s what you’ve been doing. Or maybe you chose to be a mother, and so that’s your role. Maybe you chose not to be a mother, or you know my love, I’m sending you love if you weren’t able to have children. And so then you put that label on, right? We’re just putting on all these labels and these roles.

And I like to think about where’s food and all that, because this question, what are you really craving? Because I think many of you, many myself included, I used food to comfort myself. I used food to soothe. I used food as a filler. You know, it was something to get excited about. It was something to obsess about instead of obsessing and craving a life,

a joy, happiness, hobbies, things I like to do. I never asked those questions to myself. I mean, a little bit, but not really. You know, I wasn’t out there trying new things. It was like, oh, so and so liked this. Oh, well, I guess I’ll try it. I wasn’t out there creating this life.

You know, the cupcake, the lasagna, the pizza, whatever it is, I think it’s a really cheap substitute for this life that is fulfilled, that has all the things in it that are creating. Creating is an action. You’re like thinking about what you want, what you need, what you like, what you wanna learn. I believe that many women,

maybe you, you’re craving fulfillment, you’re craving love, acceptance, connection, creativity, right? We’re all creators, really. We love to create, whether it’s a garden or writing a story, helping someone figure out a problem, fixing the thing, right? We love to create and we love to feel connected to people, to this earth, to God,

like we crave this. This is in our DNA. And so it’s important to know what are you craving? And I believe, I know I struggled with this mostly I have been craving love and acceptance, and I thought it was from the world, but it really was from myself because I am the person I spend most of my time with. And I was the person who beat myself up the most in my thoughts and the way that I talked to myself,

and the negative chatter that I had going. I knew all my mistakes, I knew all my wrongs. And so really I wanted it mostly from myself. So this question, what are you really craving? I think it’s important in weight loss because part of this process of losing weight and getting off the diet roller coaster for good is under understanding why you’re carrying the weight in the first place.

And there’s many reasons. I don’t believe it’s from one thing, maybe one thing was like the beginning of it, but over time it’s probably morphed into a hundred reasons. Fears, again, going back to emotional eating and comfort, some of it is our food supply is highly, you know, pleasure, right? It gives you lots of dopamine hits,

right? There’s many reasons. But the first question is, what are you really craving? And I promise you this, what you’re really craving is not a cookie. So let’s go get it. And you don’t need someone else to love and accept you. I want to say this because as I coach women, and I work with my clients and Transform Boss,

and of course I know people have family, friends, all the things, I think that we believe that we want it from someone else. Like, why aren’t they loving me? Why aren’t they accepting me? Why are they judging me? Why aren’t they respecting me? You know, all the things, but we really want it from ourselves first. If you don’t have acceptance and love and forgiveness and you know,

trust and respect for yourself, how can you expect anyone else to give it to you? And so I love to know that if I’m expecting something from someone else, it’s because there’s something that I am craving. So what to do, number one, understand one thing that you’re really craving. Just ask yourself, what am I really craving? And if it’s,

for me, when I asked that question recently, I like to ask this question a lot. It was like more self-acceptance, because I’m always growing, I’m always learning. I’m always doing something that is frightens the bejesus out of me. So I wanted more acceptance of my failures, more acceptance of who I was. I wanted more of that. And so understand one,

one thing, you don’t need to understand everything. You know, ladies is perfectionist. We like to like, oh, I gotta figure it out. Nope. You don’t need to figure it all out, just one thing. And then decide how you can start putting more of it in your life. Maybe you’re craving like a new career, or you’re craving like to learn something different,

or you’re craving a new hobby, or you’re craving, again, some of these emotions that you want to feel for yourself. And so just start by one thing, putting more of it in your life. For me, for more acceptance was, you know, writing in my reflection work every day about like accepting my failures and what did I learn from them that helps me accept where I’m at and what I’m doing.

And so that’s what I started. Number three, when you’re reaching for a cookie, whatever it is for you, the thing that wasn’t on your plan, and maybe you’re, you’ve started to overeat it, ask yourself, what am I really craving right now? Maybe you’re just craving comfort, and maybe it is that you want to, that dopamine hit.

You wanna feel an emotion, or you wanna push or numb an emotion. And so asking yourself questions gets you out of that automatic brain and gets you into your prefrontal and your thinking brain. So if you wanna know the best way to help yourself to get yourself into that thinking, just ask yourself a simple question. What am I really craving right now?

I know I do. Like, if ever I like go for something, I’m just not on my plan. I’m just like, what? What’s happening? Love? What’s going on? Like, what is it right now? I just like to get curious. I don’t beat myself up or judge myself or go down that whole nonsense. I just am like,

oh, what’s going on? Love? So what are you craving? And what do you really want, ladies? I tell you, we just, we haven’t asked ourselves that question. I think most women in a very long time because we’re so afraid. But don’t be afraid of the answer. You don’t have to go out and like change your life.

And I know we have this thing like, you know, we watched that movie, eat, pray, love with, I think Julia Roberts was in it. You don’t have to go eat, pray, love your life. You can just take one step. You don’t have to burn it all down. You don’t have to do all of that. It’s just like,

’cause that just creates fear. And then you do nothing and you’re not inching your, you know, way forward to the life that you want. And so, again, don’t be afraid of the answer, because once you know, then you get to decide what you wanna do. You don’t need to do anything. Sometimes, most times the first step is just to know what are you really craving?

And just so you know, we are opening on February 28th. I know, I’m so excited. We have a challenge. Yes, if you’ve not signed up for the challenge, you for sure want to, you can go to bflycoaching.com/me. The challenge begins on February 26th. I am gonna do them this. This is my first of three challenges this year.

I don’t do them very often. It’s a lot of work for myself and my team, but oh, I love them. I know I love the work. I’m like, yes, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go. It’s just a very amazing week full of ahas and learning and you know, starting to implement some of the tools that I teach.

And again, it’s completely free. It’s a week with me. I know you wanna sign upbflycoaching.com/me, and then you, you wanna come and join us in Transform Boss. Yes. jointransformboss.com. We’re gonna open on the 28th of February, and then we’re gonna close on March 4th. So that’s the date. We’ll be open a little less than a week,

but ooh, I’m excited. I know. I love bringing New ladies then. So one, follow this podcast, two, get on my email list, bflycoaching.com/email, and then three, jointransformboss.com. You can find information, you can actually join the challenge there too. And then once we’re open, you can come and join us.

Yes, I know. Let’s go. Let’s go. 2024. Here we go. Happy Valentine’s Day, my love. I hope today you find some love for you. All right, bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and wanna learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com.

That’s bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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