Ep #231: Overcoming the Fear of Weight Loss

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Episode #231: Overcoming the Fear of Weight Loss

We have stories that play in our heads that create the emotion of fear.

We have thoughts about what will happen if we lose weight, if we don’t lose the weight, and if we lose the weight and then gain it back.

These thoughts keep us stuck on the diet roller coaster. It’s important for you to find the story you’re telling yourself about weight loss because then you can understand why you’re feeling the fear.

If you want to learn what to do to release your fear and to change your thoughts, listen to this week’s episode of the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast.

In this episode…

≫[1:40] They just stayed the same because of the fear of change.

≫[2:25] Understanding fear is important.

≫[3:45] Fear enhances our learning and our memory.

≫[8:17] It was my thinking, not the actual emotion of fear.

≫[10:55] What to do.

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You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 231. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen. Woo. Hello, love. Oh my goodness,

we are open. So if you’re listening to this, I know we’re open. I’m so excited and cannot wait to welcome in. New ladies. We close on March 4th Monday, so you for sure wanna come and join us. You know, this is where we do the deep work of the mental weight and losing the mental weight and thinking differently and believing differently.

And I think all the external stuff, I mean, some of it works, but if you want it to work for good, you gotta work on the internal stuff, the external stuff. It just, you know, the food plans, the exercise plans, I mean, you can white knuckle it for a bit, but we do the work and it’s the best work.

I think it’s the best work that I’ve done in my life, and I watch it in my clients’ lives and how they change their lives and how they are not just losing weight, but they’re also like starting to sit in the driver’s seat again. They’re starting to feel better, they’re starting to change career. I mean, just amazing, amazing things these women are doing because weight loss was always the reason they didn’t do anything,

right? The thing that, you know, they just stayed the same because of the fear of change. And what I help women is starting to overcome the fear of change and the fear of doing something different. So they lose weight, and then they do this healing process. And then amazing, amazing things have happened. I have so many stories of women that just,

they wow me every single day. So to all my bosses, I love you. Ooh, my goodness, I’m so proud of all of you. So in today’s episode, let’s get into it. I wanna talk about fear. You know, fear, I’ve talked about fear before, lots of times because it’s a primary emotion and it’s there for a reason,

right? Survival instinct, quick response. Really understanding fear is important. So fear is an emotion. It’s in our body. And we have a thought, right? We have something that goes through our brain or a stimuli, right? So like, I don’t know, you get in a car accident, right? You don’t even really have to think about it.

I mean, so quickly you’ll respond. And that is because of fear. And so fear when it kicks in, your body is hypersensitive. It pushes your adrenaline like it releases other hormones. I mean, it does amazing things and it alerts your body to tell your body, like get into action. And it also can help us with some mental clarity.

So allowing us to prioritize, make quick decisions in challenging situations. And I think fear also, it enhances our learning and our memory because we have this amazing capability of learning. I know no matter how old, you know, they say that old saying, you can’t teach old dogs new tricks. I think that’s total nonsense. Not even true, not even true for a minute.

And I can give you lots of evidence that proves that it’s not the truth. We are always, our brain is always capable of learning, it’s always capable of creating new neural pathways and neurotransmitters. It is they’ve, it is. And I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it in many, many folks. So what happens is fear. It enhances our learning and our memory.

So we can learn from, you know, negative experiences and potential threats. Remember our body, brain, it’s number one thing is to keep us alive. Survival, right at its basic like function is to keep us alive. Thank goodness, very happy for that. And fear is part of us. It’s just part of who we are. It’s a primal emotion that we have.

It’s there to help us. But what has happened to us? I mean, look, we live in a time where although there are dangers and threats for sure, we don’t have as many everyday daily food scarcity. Now, again, I know some of you have experienced it, some of you may be experiencing it. Now, I am gonna talk today in generalities,

of course, but for many of you who are listening, we don’t have, we have roofs over our heads, we have shelter, we have food, we have people in our lives that we care for and that care for us. And so we have some of these basic things in our life. And so fear has kind of morphed into these thinking and these created scenarios.

And again, everyone is so different. So when I speak, you’ll have to find the pieces that apply to you, because all of us have had different experiences in life. We’ve had different challenges, we’ve had different, we’ve had trauma, different parts of trauma, all the different pieces. So what’s happened is we’ve created because we don’t want dangers and threats.

So our brain has learned from that. And what I think over time happens is it, for myself, I’ll talk about myself, it kept me fearful of doing the things for my own good, for the things that would make my life easier, that would make my body feel better. Because I had learned how to cope with food and bring comfort with food,

that I had a fear of giving up that comfort. So I wanna say that again. I had a fear of giving up that comfort. So food was the way that I comforted, it was the way. And so I had a fear that if I lost that I wouldn’t know how to comfort myself. And I didn’t wanna experience that. And again,

this is just, I mean, this is so in my subconscious, in my brain, again, it just kept me really small. It kept me avoiding change. It kept me from doing the thing I’m talking right now. I wanna say this too, about everyday fear. If you find that fear paralyzes you significantly impacts your daily life, please seek out medical health professional.

Please seek out that support. It’s very important. You can always email us at support@bflycoaching.com. We keep on hand a list of resources too. So we have thoughts about what will happen if we lose the weight, if we don’t lose the weight, if we say no to the cupcake, if we lose the weight, and then we gain it back, right? These are stories,

these are thoughts. And so these thoughts can create the emotion of fear. So we have thoughts, we have these stories they play in our head. I’ll lose a relationship, I’ll become a different person. I’ll not be able to eat my favorite foods. All of this. And what it does is it creates the emotion of fear. And I had this story of like,

I’m gonna look older. I’m gonna, you know, look like someone who used to be fat. You know, ladies, this is this thought like I’m gonna have such loose skin everywhere that everyone’s gonna know. And it’s it very, like, when I think about that thought, it’s so ridiculous in my brain because who cares? So what? Like,

yes, I carried extra weight most of my life. But again, it was this, it was this fear of judgment that I thought other people would judge me. But I weighed 315 pounds. Like I’m sure people saw and noticed. But again, you know, people are thinking about themselves. They’re not mostly thinking about me. The people who cared and loved me still thought I was beautiful,

still thought I was amazing. It was me. I was the one that was judging me. I carried all the shame and all the guilt. I was so fearful that I might not be able to, you know, keep it off because I gained lost weight so many times and felt so much shame about that. And so it just kept me on the diet rollercoaster.

It was the thoughts. This is what I want you to hear. It was my thinking. Not the actual emotion of fear. Fear is an emotion. It goes through your body very, you know, quickly, right? It was the thinking. It was the stories that were, it was all of these thoughts. So finding the thinking, the story that you’re telling yourself about you and weight loss is really important because then you can understand why you’re feeling the fear and fears and emotion.

Again, your heart race increases. You feel flush. Maybe you feel warm, hot, and you can feel that you have felt fear before. Have you ever watched like a scary movie? I particularly do not like scary movies actually. Or maybe you’ve like been so deep in thought and like someone walks in and you like jump because they scared you because you know they didn’t mean to.

They just, you were so deep in thought and you didn’t think someone was around, right? Yeah. That’s fear. I know. And like, or have you ever like had a slam on your brakes in traffic? Oh, and like you’re, you feel the adrenaline rush and all the things, nothing happened. You avoided the accident. That’s fear.

Yeah, you felt it. Okay, now what? So when you create the stories that, oh, fear, I can’t do this, I can’t do that. I see this all the time. Ladies who wanna come and join us and do the work and Transform Boss, they let fear stop them. They tell themselves it’s these things like, I don’t have time,

I don’t have money. You know, all that. But all of that is just surface stuff. It’s really the fear of not showing up, the fear of losing weight and gaining it back. But this is the thing, you can feel fear, you always have. We’ve felt fear many, many times in our lives and we’ve moved past it. And so starting to understand,

do you have a story around weight loss and fear? And is it keeping you stuck? If you do, you probably do. We all do. We all have all these stories, you know, in our brain, they’re just like, I like to think about it. You just sit in the puddle. And so here’s what you do. This is what I do,

really, because I have fear. You know, I’m an entrepreneur. I also am an executive. I am a mother and a wife and a friend. All the roles ladies, slap ’em on. I had a lot of ’em. And I have lots of fears that come up. I just know that fear is a passenger and I don’t make my decisions from fear.

I want you to hear that. I don’t make decisions from a place of fear. I don’t let fear be in the driver’s seat. I’m in the driver’s seat. So this is what I do. Number one, I take a piece of paper and I just write down all the thoughts, whatever’s causing the fear, like all the stories and the thoughts.

And so for you, you might wanna do this around weight loss, like all of them. Just write ’em all down. Then I like to take a breath. ’cause breath is important. It helps calm your nervous system. ’cause once you start writing, you might feel fear, you might feel other emotion. So then you’re gonna just take a breath,

right? And then number three, you’re gonna decide what thoughts are true or which ones you’re just making up to keep yourself from achieving. Like they haven’t even happened yet. I remember having like a fear that I was gonna like turn into some different person than my morals or values, which of course that wasn’t gonna happen. It was just like this weird fear that just kept me from doing the thing,

right? It was a protective barrier for me too, because it really wasn’t like I had some trauma and I thought, okay, if I put this barrier in between me and the the people in the world, right? It’d keep me safe, but it didn’t keep me safe because at any moment, sure things could happen. This is the world we live in.

And so it was just a false belief that I had. Again, decide which thoughts are true, which ones you’re just like, you don’t know if it’s gonna happen or not. And then four, then just take a step forward. Do one thing. You know, I say this a lot and I know this to be true. When you just focus on one step,

one step of the process, you know, maybe it’s starting to do reflection work. Maybe it’s making your realistic plan. If you don’t know what these things are, we’ll put some episodes in the show notes for you so you can listen to it. It could be drinking more water, it could be getting coached, right? So that you can start to uncover,

right? Just pick one thing and focus on one thing. One step will get you way farther than trying to do 10. And you know, I read this once, and I think this is probably true. I’ve never like done the calculation for myself, but 85% of things people worry about never come true. Right? Think about how much stuff you worry about and you fantasize the worst case scenario and then it just really never happens.

And so what if you could know that you could feel fear, do the thing, and you just moved through it. This is how you become unstoppable. This is how you build resilience. This is how you build strength. So do you wanna lose weight for the last time? Get off the diet roller coaster, make it easier for yourself and feel better.

Then come join us in Transform Boss. Go to jointransformboss.com to join us. Don’t forget to follow this podcast. So I’m here every Wednesday or the YouTube channel. Make sure you follow my channel there too. All right, my love, fear passenger seat. It’s always gonna be there. Yeah, it’s there for a reason. It’s amazing.

Yeah, it’s actually gonna do things to help your body go after your dreams and goals. Just don’t let it be in the driver’s seat. Yeah, you got this my love. Alright, bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and wanna learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com.

That’s bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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