Ep. #237: All Things Weight Loss Pt. 3 -
How to Create Long Term Weight Loss

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Episode #237: All Things Weight Loss Pt. 3 – How to Create Long Term Weight Loss

What do you feel when you hear hard work?

I bet your brain gets overwhelmed and then you don’t want to do anything.

Many people feel that weight loss is hard work.

When I was on the diet rollercoaster, weight loss was hard.

Now, I think differently.

I believe weight loss is easy.

In today’s episode of the podcast, I walk you through a few steps of the process and show you how to make weight loss easy.

In this episode…

≫[1:55] I can look back at my life and see that anything that has been worth anything has been difficult and hard and has had challenges.

≫[3:06] I think weight loss can be easy.

≫[4:53] When I say that there’s hard work, your brain gives you an excuse not to do anything.

≫[5:57] The steps in the process to make weight loss easy.

≫[8:27] Your amygdala, your lizard brain, wants you to stay the same, it does not want you to change.

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You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women Podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 237. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen. Hello, love. So excited that you’re back and we’re in part three.

I know, I know ladies are excited, right? I have watched the podcast stats on this and I know you ladies are excited to listen today, and I’m excited today too. I’m back with Coach Jenn, and you know, we’ve talked a lot about why it’s hard. We’ve talked about like all these different tools out there and all these different quote unquote solutions.

But today what we wanna talk to you about is how to create long-term weight loss. You know, if I had to ask you what you want, I know if we were sitting in a cafe, drinking a cup of coffee, you would tell me, I don’t wanna think about food. I don’t wanna carry this extra weight, I wanna feel better in my body,

and I just wanna lose all the noise of this, and I don’t wanna be yo-yoing back and forth. When I think about short-term solutions versus long-term solutions, interesting part to me is that I think people think, oh, long-term, when you say long term or losing weight for the last time, you think, oh, it’s gonna be hard. It’s gonna be difficult.

And I think honestly, it can be very simple, very easy, very doable. Because I think what we do to ourselves over and over and over again is that we try to do all the things. We try to change really who we are and like, and just be perfect. And what happens is we start struggling. Something happens at work, your spouse makes you angry,

and you know, we’re looking for food and then we start beating ourselves up. We start telling ourselves we’re failures. None of that is easy. None of that is easy. Cutting out carbs if you have done it is not easy. We have this like honeymoon period in any new tool where like the first few weeks you’re like, okay, maybe, maybe it’s not even that long,

but you know, a month, two months in, you’re just like, whoa, I don’t know. I can’t do it. Right? This is why the diet rollercoaster exists. And so when you start to think about creating long-term weight loss, I just don’t want you to confuse that that is any harder than what you’ve been doing, because it’s not,

and I know this because I’ve done this, and the way that I live my life right now is way easier than what I was doing before. Jenn, when I talk about that, what do you think? You saw me, I was just writing some notes because you got my brain going, yes. I just think that my brain used to think like that,

right? Like, I hear long-term weight loss and it’s like, oh, I have to do this. It’s gonna be so hard. But really, I think that it just is actually more empowering because you begin to start allowing yourself to fail and stop trying to be perfect along the way. And you accept that failure’s just gonna come. And then you celebrate your wins too,

and you create momentum along the way. And instead of beating yourself up when you have failures, you just are like, okay, take a moment, feel, maybe you feel some disappointment, whatever it is. But then you get to learn to just kind of, I love Shannan taught me this, like what can I learn from this? Right? Every failure is really a learning lesson and it kind of propels you forward.

And so I just think that acceptance, that failure is going to be there and making the decision that you’re just gonna keep showing up no matter what creates that momentum that keeps propelling you forward. Yes. So it actually is much easier. It’s so much easier. I think we’ve been taught lots of things around failure, how to think about it. And we’re always,

just so you know, I want you to really hear me when I say this. Your brain is wired to want the quick fix, but the quick fix puts you in more pain and it puts you in more long-term pain than looking for something where you start learning a different way. And you know, when I started doing this work many, many years ago,

and I started this work, I just started one step at a time and I made some decisions for myself. I think, you know, number one, in creating long-term weight loss is starting to make really conscious decisions about what you want to do. And one of the questions I asked myself about any long-term solution I did was, can I do this for the rest of my life?

And this is where I knew like I could not, you know, count the points. I knew I couldn’t cut carbs out, right? I couldn’t do these things for the rest of my life. And so that was one of the decisions that I made. Whatever I’m going to do, I want to be able to do it for the rest of my life.

You know, when I think about our, we have three simple tools, right? That we teach that just to get you started and get you going. And one of them we like to call the realistic plan. And so it’s just a simple step. I do that every day and it is no drama for me. I just make my plan. I don’t have any drama because it’s not a food plan to me,

it’s actually a freedom plan. It’s a plan that allows me freedom in my food. When I think about what I ate yesterday, I had roast yesterday and I had veggies, and I had cake because it was my administrative assistant’s birthday. And I had just all sorts of things. That’s how my days look. My days look like all the things. Oh,

I had scalloped potatoes too. I had not had those in a while, Jenn. They were delicious. Just a, a call out for scallop potatoes. And so I say this because that is what I dreamed of ladies tell me. Like, I just want to eat everything and not gain weight. But what you really want is you want a relationship that is different than a relationship with food,

right? A different relationship with food than one that feels punitive, where you can’t enjoy the food that you love, the food that your family, your cultural food, your food that your mama made. I wanna enjoy that stuff. I don’t want to tell myself, no, no, no, you have to, you know, eat plant-based and you can never enjoy A BLT again.

And that is part of this process. The first part is making a decision. The second part is starting to change the way that you think about food. And what I mean in that is allowing yourself to eat the foods that you enjoy while you start to pay attention to what’s going on in your body. In the second episode, we talked about all these tools,

right? Diet plans, food plans, medication, you know, all the different things, right? What those don’t include, including the mental and emotional part, they don’t include your body like paying attention. Like, am I hungry? Am I really hungry right now? Or is this an emotional hunger that I have? Am I full? Am I satisfied?

We don’t even ask those questions. It’s like, oh, I get 17 points, 17 points today, so that’s what I’m going to eat. Even though today I’m not as hungry, or the next day you’re more hungry, right? We have all of these different hormonal shifts in our bodies. None of that accounts for it. And so allowing yourself to change the way and your relationship with food,

and it sounds like big words, like, whoa, my relationship with food. It really starts with something as simple as a simple tool. Like the realistic plan, what we teach in Transform. Boss. It’s like this very simple thing that takes two minutes. It has changed my relationship with food. I had cake on my plan yesterday. Ooh. It was good too.

I had two different types of cake too. I, yes, and I’ve maintained my weight. It sounds so crazy. No, but yes. And it was great, and I enjoyed it. And you know, when I started to feel satiated, when I started to feel I left cake on that plate, yes. And I didn’t feel bad about it because I know I’m gonna have cake again.

See, I don’t disallow any food. I don’t restrict anymore. I will not restrict, I will not restrict. I will never restrict again. And restriction lives in our mind because many of you don’t restrict right now. You don’t restrict at all, but you think you should. And that thought creates a lot of resistance in your brain. Okay, Jenn,

I’ve talked a lot, you know, I can get on a tangent. Oh no, I’m just soaking it in Shannan, like, yes. Yeah, I mean, for me, as you’re talking about this, I was just thinking about my experience as I started writing the realistic plan. As I started creating allowance for food. Like when I first started writing my realistic plan,

I wanted to judge my food choices. Oh, well, if I want to lose weight, I shouldn’t be eating these things. I should be eating this instead. And I wanted to judge myself for it. Over time, I just learned that no, I get to allow, I get to have all the foods. And like you said, my Lizzie is a rebel.

So when I tell her we, or I even think like, oh, we shouldn’t have the cake, we shouldn’t have the scallop potatoes. I’m like, I want the whole cake. I want all of this because don’t tell me I can’t have it. ’cause I’ll want it even more. Yes, you’re almost like creating like this urgency in your body,

this scarcity actually that I’m not gonna be able to have the cake or the scalloped potato, so I need to eat all of it. It’s kind, it always reminds me of like, remember in the pandemic where toilet paper was low and everybody was like hoarding it? That’s what you’re doing with food, right? You think you can’t have it. And so you’re hoarding it.

You’re like grabbing, you know, where you have toilet paper for the next three years and you’re not paying attention to how it feels in your body. You’re not making a conscious decision of what you want to eat, how you want to fuel your body. You’re just like, I’ve gotta eat it all because I’m not gonna get it again. Because one day I’m going to be,

you know, the person who just eats salads, truly. And you know, we get a lot of messages that that’s how we should live. And there’s so much, you know, the blue zones and the green zones, you know, all the things ladies, there’s so much stuff. I just say like, that’s where the noise is coming from.

The noise is coming from, you know, all the, the messaging that you’re getting to quiet the noise, stop looking at all that stuff. Because when you start to just like focus on like what you want to enjoy and you start to focus on how things feel in your body, the other piece of this, the other step, we call it leave a bite,

but it really is starting to pay attention to how your body feels, right? So I don’t like feeling stuffed. I don’t think anyone really does. I don’t like feeling stuffed. I don’t like feeling lethargic and tired after I eat. I don’t like that feeling. And now I’m conscious and aware that I can still enjoy the food I love, but I don’t need to eat it all.

I don’t need to eat everything. I can pack it up and save it for another meal. I can put less on my plate. And the reason why I can do this is because I know that I can have it again. It’s not going outta my life. I’m going to eat cake again. I’m hopefully gonna eat scalloped potatoes. I don’t eat them very often,

but I tell you, I had ’em last night. They were good, right? Like I, I’m gonna have them again. And so I don’t have this fear, I don’t have this scarcity. So I talked about two steps, two steps of our kind of simple way to start this work. One is the realistic plan. Two, leave a bite.

This is just really coming back into your body and asking simple questions like, am I hungry? I mean, it sounds so simple, right? You’re like, Shannan. But it’s so simple. Like, am I hungry? And then as you’re eating, it’s just paying attention. It’s actually enjoying your food. When I ate that cake yesterday, I did not have my phone.

I sat, I was at my desk, actually, I didn’t even look at my screen. I was like, I am gonna enjoy every, it was a white chocolate raspberry. And then the other cake was kind of this raspberry cake too. And I just sat there and I enjoyed it. And I had a few bites and it was delicious. And then when I started noticing like,

okay, I am starting to feel a little bit full, I just stopped. I didn’t have any drama about it. I didn’t have any like, oh my gosh, you know, I’ve got to eat more. None. That is the process that you learn in Transform Boss. It’s this process of coming back to yourself. The third step is just getting hydrated.

And the reason why I say hydrated, you know, you can say water, you can do whatever you get hydrated many ways. It’s basically so that you can make weight loss easy. When you’re dehydrated, your body will hold onto fat because if you’re not getting water, your body’s like, ah, we’re gonna die. So it will send hunger signals.

So it makes you over hungry. And so getting hydrated, you can, there’s so many things. Oh my, I could give you. So this is what we do in Transform Boss, actually, we have this thing called food fines. And it’s a monthly cl class that I do with one of the coaches. And we just share like recipes and foods that we,

we ha it’s based on a topic. This month is sweet standin. So Coach Sharon and I are going to like, share like, you know, sweets that we eat that are, you know, I would say have a little more maybe protein or a little more things or whatever it is, right? And we do this every single month because we like sharing all the fun things out there.

There are lots of things, right? And so again, I think weight loss has been so difficult and we have like made it so hard. And I just don’t, I don’t think it has to be, this is the work that we do in Transform Boss. So Jenn, when you think about the three steps and this kind of long-term weight loss and how easy it can be,

you know, when you work with your clients and Transform, Boss, you know, we’ve had lots of ladies lose lots of weight and eating all the things. I’m not telling you this just because I’m the only one who, who has done this. I have plenty of ladies who have lost their weight, are losing weight, all the things, doing this simple process.

So what do you think? I think it just is that it’s simple, right? And it’s all about keeping it simple. I love going back to that question of how do I want this to look long term, right? Like, how would I, could I do this forever? Because as you are building these steps, I think applying them in a way that you can do long term and don’t do all three.

You don’t have to do all three steps at once. Start with one, choose your one and build slowly off of that, and then add to the others. And I would offer to add it into your current lifestyle, right? Sometimes I think we go start these plans, these diets, all these things, and we’re like, okay, I’m gonna be this new person.

I’m gonna do things totally different. And that’s not what it’s about. Because you can only do that for so long and then you start beating yourself up about it. So add whatever one tool that you choose into your life. Whatever that looks like, add that into your life. Don’t switch your whole life around. ’cause that just adds more mind drama,

Right? So Jenn, I wanna transition into the mental part because the first part that we talked about was really three simple steps just to get you started. We wanted to give you some juiciness in this episode so that, you know, like, okay, how could I get started? There’s two other pieces that I think are really important that diet plans,

food plans, the weight loss industry they don’t address. And that is the mental and emotional part of weight loss. And when I think about mental weight, and I think about all of the drama I had in my head about losing weight, how I thought about it. I thought that weight loss was always gonna be my struggle. That I could not lose weight per,

you know, for the long term. I always thought I was gonna gain it back. And then I had lots of other thoughts, right? I had a whole story. I mean, what’s your story around weight loss? I had a whole story that I didn’t want loose skin, and oh my gosh, I was gonna turn into a different person if I lost weight.

And you know, how are people gonna view me? And you know, I’m not gonna fit in. I mean, I had all these things. I had the positive part too, right? I had the dream part, but underlying the dream part of like the fantasy of wearing what I wanted and all that was this underlying mental noise and what I like to call mental weight,

where I just had all of this fear around losing weight. Ladies, every one of you think, oh, I just wanna lose weight. But you have a fear of losing weight. And that is the mental part of it. And what happens is, if you don’t start working on the mental weight, you don’t start learning how to think differently, then what happens is you’re gonna just repeat it.

You will repeat the same things over and over again until you start to learn how to think differently so that you can feel differently. So you can do something differently. The mental weight is when you, you know, you’re doing real great, you’re feeling great, you know, right? You’re like, yes, I’m feeling so great. And then suddenly you’re overeating,

you’re telling yourself, you’re starting to have conversation with yourself. Like, we have lost, you know, 20 pounds now. Oh, we need a reward. Oh, we’ve been so good this week. And then that just leads you down this slippery slope, right? Or you don’t even begin because you keep telling yourself that you have to restrict, that you have to like change your whole life,

and it feels overwhelming. And so you don’t do anything. I tell my Transform bosses this a lot. You never have to start over. Like never. Like right now, if you overate, you just say to yourself, okay, we overate, what’s our next best action for ourselves? What’s the next best decision I can make for myself? So powerful.

That is the mental part of this. Because if you don’t learn to think differently about yourself, about your relationship with food, you will just keep doing the same thing over and over again, no matter what tool you use. The mental part of this is, for me, in my experience and working with hundreds of clients, is the mental part of it is what will change the game for you?

It will change the game for you. If you are like, Shannan, I’ve been on this diet rollercoaster for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years, what is gonna change? That is your brain, not a food plan or a medication, or a weight loss surgery, or all the other things. Those are just tools. Those are not what’s going to change the game for you.

They can be very short term, actually. Ooh, Jenn. Mm. So when you think about mental weight and all the noise that you’ve had, oh my goodness, right? How have you started to change that? I love just coming back to, is this true, right? A huge piece of course is coaching, getting coached by somebody. It’s what helped me to start learning the thoughts that I had going on,

the beliefs that I didn’t know were there. You know, you said, well, you’ll lose the weight and then you’ll think of a reward. Some of it for me even was like thoughts that were in the background of, oh, you’re losing weight, you’re gonna start shining too brightly. Maybe we should stop this process. Right? And so getting coached by somebody else,

because it just helps you. They get to ask you questions just out of curiosity and help you learn your brain. But then I think over time, you too can self-coach, and you can start asking yourself questions. When we give our brain work to do, it’s gonna do it. When we give it a job, it’s gonna go to work. Yeah.

Our brain is powerful and beautiful in that way. And it will either work on those old thoughts, those old limiting beliefs that we have, or we can give it new work to do that serves us, that moves us in the direction that we want. Yeah, I think about the work we’re gonna do in May. So May is all about sabotage.

And when you said something about this underlying thought that you had, I’ll shine too brightly. I think some of that may come from, Jenn, your role in your family. So all of you have had a role in your life. We wear many roles, right? I mean, mother, wife, daughter, I was the heavy one. I was the one that,

that was my struggle. That was my thing, right? And so you don’t realize that you’re sabotaging your efforts because of your thinking. I tell you ladies, it’s eye-opening when you start to do this work because you’re like, whoa, this is why it has felt like a struggle. And so in May, we’re doing a workshop, and then we’re doing a book club around sabotage that is just very,

very powerful. And I think, you know, that mental part of it is just, for me, again, was a game changer. I wanna transition to the emotional part of it. And the emotional part of it is, you know, we think thoughts, we tell stories in our head and it produces feelings in our body. So we then have feelings.

And so when we are thinking I can’t lose weight, we feel discouraged, we feel frustrated, we feel sad, we feel devastated, you know? And then what happens is we take action from that place and that action can be like, I’m gonna go starve myself. Or the opposite of that is we just eat all the things because we wanna numb the feeling.

We wanna push down that emotion. Again, the emotional part of this is we have lives and they are amazing and they’re not. And we have other humans and they’re amazing and they’re not. And we have all of this stuff going on. We have stresses and work and family and just our daily life and aging. Oh, and menopause. I know ladies,

I’ve been there. I’m through it, right? Like all the things, right? Health diagnosis, right? All of these things. And what happens is when you’re going through a transition, or maybe you’re moving or you’re deciding to do a different job, or your job is very stressful right now, or something in your family, or someone in your family got a health diagnosis and you’re feeling like overwhelmed,

you’re feeling devastated. You know what you wanna do, you wanna go eat that food. Yes you do. Yes. Because that’s your comfort. That is what we do. We have comforted ourselves for so long with food. It’s called emotional eating or whatever. It doesn’t even matter at the end of the day, I think most of us carry extra weight because two things.

One, the way that we think about ourselves and the thoughts that we have in the conversations that we have with ourselves. And two, because we want to find comfort and relief. You want relief, you want to feel better when you just got in a fight with your spouse or partner, and you’re just like, I just need something to take my mind off all this other nonsense.

And so you numb and you numb with food. I tell you, all the diet plans out there don’t teach you what to do when you’ve had a bad day. And when you’re just feeling tired and you’re feeling stressed and you want something different, you wanna feel different. Yeah. And you just want it to go away. And the thing that makes it go all the way is that two minutes that you sit and you’re snacking or you’re eating the thing,

and you have tied that to the feeling of relief, the feeling of life. Okay, I don’t have to think about this right now. Part of this work is starting to acknowledge, see that, and start to find comfort in other ways. See, I don’t want you to lose weight and then become a shopaholic or become, you know, someone who drinks more than they want,

or someone who then, you know, buffers with TV or overworking are all the other ways. See, that’s what happens a lot of times, you know, with weight loss surgery or medication or different things. They take one way that they’ve been comforting themselves so they don’t have the food anymore. So then they go and suddenly, you know, they’re in debt up to their eyeballs,

suddenly, you know, they’re out, you know, drinking more than they wanted to, and they feel bad in that way. So I don’t want that for you. And so again, the emotional part of this, the emotional part is learning how to feel the feelings without doing something that is gonna provide a negative consequence for yourself. Like overeating, overspending,

overshopping, I mean, I could go on and on with all the overs. It’s all about finding comfort in other ways outside of things that have negative consequences. Ooh, Jenn, right? The thinking, the emotional part of this. Jenn’s the director of our coaching. So she sees clients, she teaches our coaches, she does a lot around coaching.

When you think about this piece, what is coming up for you? I was just thinking how our brain could be so tricky for us, right? We associate that the chips, whatever it is at night, maybe you’re a sweet girl and you have your sweets with relief. We don’t have to think about it. We’re gonna feel better, but it’s just so false because then we’re left feeling bad about ourselves for making that choice.

And then we beat ourselves up and the cycle continues. Or maybe you keep eating to fill that void, right? I think we’ve labeled emotions as good emotions and bad or negative emotions, and we wanna avoid the negative emotions And just beginning to just accept we’re human beings and we have all these emotions and we’re supposed to, we are supposed to experience all of them.

We just, you know, and you can learn this. And Transform we teach it is how to experience those feelings, not to have to stay in them forever, right? That’s the fear. If I feel this, I’m gonna stay in it forever. So I think just the fear of feeling this emotion or having these thoughts, right, are things that I hear from clients.

Like, I just don’t even wanna be in that arena. And human ladies, you’re not alone. Everybody has these thoughts, everybody has these emotions. And when we can almost, I think of it as almost like removing their power, right? By just confronting it, just being with it. Yeah. The sooner that it passes on and we get to take the power back.

Yes, I love it too, right? Getting your power back, getting out of the prison, the mental and emotional prison of trying to not feel emotion, they stay stuck in your body. And then suddenly you’re like, I have a headache, or I have a joint ache, or you know, all the things, or my shoulders feel, you know,

tight or my neck hurts. So much of that is because we’re holding emotions. And this is the craziest part. Ladies, are you ready for this? What we teach? And Transform, I teach ladies like it’s 90 seconds, 90 seconds. And you can release the emotion and then you can start to, you know, process and you can just move to the next.

And without eating the cupcake, without buffering, without doing the thing, that’s gonna give you a long-term, negative consequence. That is the most powerful thing. And all of this is simple, easy. You start with one thing and then you just move to the next. None of this is difficult actually. I think it’s just takes practice, it takes support,

it takes, you know, knowing some of these amazing deeper tools that we teach and Transform, it just can be life changing. And you know, when you think about long-term weight loss, it’s the process of thinking differently, feeling differently, and doing different. And that is the process that will change the game. It, it really is. You know?

It just keeps coming to my mind because for so long I just did not think it was possible. And it’s so possible. I know, because I’m living it. I’m living it right now. So Jenn, any last things to say to the ladies? I’m like, Ooh, so much. So many good tips and tools in this episode. Just to kind of recap,

like just keeping it simple, ladies, start with one thing and know that this work is for everyone. I think that is the best part, right? Sometimes in the past I’ve thought, oh, I have to be able to do X, Y, or Z to get the results. This work that we’re talking about, releasing the mental weight, learning how to change a relationship with food and reconnecting with your body.

Anyone can do it. And everyone, You know, we need this course when we’re like in first grade. Yes. That’s how easy it is. Actually, it’s funny ’cause I talk to my grandkids about this all the time and about their thoughts and their feelings, and I actually have a feelings pillow. That’s my grandkids love to like go through the emotions with me and talk about how they experience them in their body.

Like little kids can figure this out because they’re so in touch. They haven’t been completely socialized yet. And so this is what I say, ladies, it’s easy, it’s simple. And I know your brain is gonna tell you all the reasons why it’s not. And again, that’s just part of it, right? Doubt and concern and fear. Yes.

This is what I like to say to doubt fear. I’m like, yeah, let’s go. Come on with me, right? Because I have goals. I want to live in a body that feels good. I want relief. I don’t want to have all this noise in my head. I wanna live a life that feels like mine. I don’t wanna walk by a mirror and not recognize the person that’s looking back at me.

Yes, that is the power of this work. So if you’re ready to come do this work, we’re ready for you. Just go to jointransformboss.com. You can check us out. Come join us and change the game. Yeah, that’s it. Hmm. All right. I love you ladies. Bye for now. Thank you,

coach Jenn. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and wanna learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s bflycoaching.com. See you next week.


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