Ep #243: 3 Reasons Why You Can't Stop Eating

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Episode #243: 3 Reasons Why You Can’t Stop Eating

Are you tired of the constant battle with overeating?

This week, join Coach Jenn and I as we dive into the three main culprits behind overeating: habit eating, emotional eating, and losing touch with your body’s signals.

Discover how automatic responses, coping mechanisms, and disconnection from bodily cues contribute to your struggle.

In this eye-opening episode, we emphasize the power of reconnecting with your body and truly listening to its signals.

I unveil the “Transform Boss” approach, a comprehensive plan encompassing eating basics, brain basics, body basics, and emotion basics, designed to revolutionize your weight loss journey and mental well-being.

Tune in for practical tips on overcoming habit and emotional eating, such as pausing to assess your true desires and needs, and practicing self-compassion.

Don’t miss out on this transformative conversation and learn the importance of slowing down, being intentional, and tuning into your body’s natural cues.

In this episode…

≫[1:38] Habit eating.

≫[4:23] Habit eating removes us from being connected to our body.

≫[7:14] What to do when you have habits of things.

≫[8:38] Pause and have the conversation with yourself.

≫[9:37] I think for many women who carry extra weight, they don’t actually enjoy food.

≫[10:58] Emotional eating was a way that I could just push down my negative emotion anytime I was feeling stressed.

≫[11:42] I think a lot of our habit eating starts in emotional eating.

≫[13:23] This mental part, the emotional part, if you don’t learn that, you will find some other destructive behavior.

≫[15:01] Anytime we ask ourselves a question, it gets us out of that automatic brain and into our thinking brain.

≫[16:54] The third reason you can’t stop eating is because you’re so disconnected from your own body.

≫[18:07] We have four basics in transform boss.

≫[20:33] Slowing down and being intentional about listening to your body.

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Hi, I’m Shannan Christiansen, a corporate girl, life coach, Mimi, and wife who struggled with her weight. Since I was eight years old, I weighed as much as 315 pounds. Tried all the things which just left me feeling like weight was always going to be my struggle. Fast forward. Through many failed attempts and a whole lot of coaching, I got off the diet roller coaster for good. If you are a woman tired of dieting and food plans, looking to get off the diet roller coaster, you are in the right place.

Hello, love. So happy to be back with you. Here we are, middle of June, ladies. 2024 is gonna be over before we know it. I love it, actually. I love it. I just think, you know, time goes fast and, you know, it’s heating up here in Arizona. It does it every year. I’m not surprised. And I try not to complain about it. I really do. I really try not to complain.

I’m praying that we don’t have as hot of a summer as we did last summer. So fingers crossed, ladies. And I’m wishing all of you beautiful, beautiful weather. As I know many of you, June is a beautiful month. Today we are going to get into the three reasons you can’t stop eating. And, you know, when I was thinking about this episode, I wanted to give you why you can’t.

And then Jenn and I are going to help you through, like, okay, Shannan, now what do I do? The first reason I really think that it can be hard to really do the things you want to do is habit eating. And habit eating is we’ve created these habits around when we eat, how we eat, and we have these certain triggers, too. I think about habit eating when I think about nighttime eating.

I think lots of ladies struggle with nighttime eating or weekend. It might start out with emotional eating, which we’re going to talk about next. But what happens is maybe you started to eat at night because you were de stressing from the day and you were, you know, using it as a way to cope with your emotions, but then it turns into a habit. So even if you had, like, an amazing day at work or it’s the weekend, you’re still every night because it’s now this habit in your brain, in your automatic brain, you’re like, every night I have a bowl of ice cream.

Every time after dinner I have to have something sweet, and it starts to just become this habit. And habit eating, too, can be also environment driven. So, like, every time I go to my mom’s house, she has cupcakes. Every time I drive by a Burger king, I gotta go get that mud pie, right? You start tying food and these habits together, I see that Krispy Kreme. I gotta stop because it, like, is pulling you.

Because, again, your brain is interpreting as, oh, we wanna get that. Because we’re gonna get a little dopamine hit. We’re gonna get a little boop, a little lift. But remember, that lift is a minute. It’s very, very quick. And then you have to keep eating to get the dopamine. And then over time, you have to eat more to get the same amount of dopamine from the first time.

And so habit eating really is just, you’ve created this habit in your automatic brain. Again, it can be environment driven, kind of day driven. It also can be, you know, I’m at a party, I’m around certain folks, right? And that’s what we do together. We eat, we look for the best restaurants. We look for the things, right? And so it can just start to become a habit. What starts, I believe, as number two, which is our emotional eating, I think, over time, can then just turn into, oh, it’s now a habit.

And it might not even be triggered by you trying to numb or disconnect. Jenn, what do you think about habit eating? Mm hmm. I mean, all the things I was thinking about. Check, check, check. Shannan, when I think of habit eating, I think too, it almost turns us, like, robotic. It’s just the thing that we’re not even thinking. Like, we aren’t even putting thought into it. It’s not even that we’re desiring these foods.

Sometimes it’s just strictly that habit. Right. Like, every morning I go get my coffee. Every night after dinner, I go have a sweet treat. And it removes us from being connected to our body to even know if it’s something that we want or need. Right. Because there’s nothing wrong with having a treat. But do you really want it even, or is it just a habit that you’ve now built upon?

Yes. I think about this with dutch bros. Ladies, if you don’t know, I’m sorry, but there is a coffee place. I don’t know where they’re at now. They’re, I think they’re in, like, the west southwest now. They’re growing rapidly. East coast. Yeah. Oh, they are. Yeah, they’re growing rapidly. Dutch bros is very good. It’s espresso based, and they put, you know, they make it fancy. You can get it sugar free too.

Don’t get me twisted. That’s how I get it. But still, ladies, it’s something about it very quickly. Can that $8 a cup treat. I don’t like to use the word treat. Cause I always think when I. Every time I say that to myself, I’m like, well, I’m not a dog. I would say this thing that I want, right? That I’m like, oh, this will taste good. Which is okay, right?

We want to enjoy food, ladies. This is not about not enjoying food. I don’t want to eat chicken and salad. Right. You want to enjoy food and have food. And so I want to. And I like to, like, my granddaughters like to go to dutch brothers. Cause they have lots of non coffee drinks there, too. I like that. But what I find, because my brain is like, ooh, this is good.

This tastes good. I like this. Plus it has some caffeine in it, right? All the things. So then I started like, well, I’m gonna get it another day. And then I’m gonna get. And then the next thing you know, I’m five days straight. That then is now habit. It’s not because I wanna enjoy it. I’m just doing it because I have this habit in my brain and now is like, oh, we’re gonna get a little dopamine hit.

But this is the craziest thing because I do this with Dutch a lot. I don’t drink Dutch regularly. I like to drink it for a couple days and then not have it for weeks and so, so on and so forth. Because I don’t want to create the habit. And I’ll give you two examples. So the first one is, now, that’s what I do. I drink it. Maybe I’ll have it one or two days in a row, and then I don’t drink it for a while.

And I love it because when I get it for the first time, again after not having it for a while, ladies, it’s so delicious. I’m just like, yum, yum, num, num, yum, yum, yum. And that’s how I want to enjoy food. I want it to feel and taste good. But my second example, where I was going, like, every day by, like, day five, it just doesn’t taste that good anymore.

It just doesn’t have the same boom. It’s like, oh, then the next thing you know, I’m a medium. Then I’m a large. Then after the large, another shot at another. I mean, where do you go? You’re going twice a day trying to get that dopamine hit, ladies. This is how it happens, right? You’re wanting that initial thing. So here’s what you do. When you have habits of things, you have to talk to yourself and say, oh, well, this isn’t even gonna taste good because I’m eating it every night.

If you’re eating a bowl of ice cream every night, you’re not really enjoying it. So if you want to enjoy it, tell yourself on that third night, like, hey, we’re not gonna eat it for a couple nights. So that, ooh, on Saturday, we’re really, it is gonna taste so delicious. That’s what I like to tell myself. It’s so simple. It sounds so like Shannan. Like, no, really, habit eating, what you do is you just, you break the habit.

You stop, you like, take a pause and then you talk to yourself back of like, why? What’s in it for you? Sometimes you have this little toddler in your brain. You just have to say to her, like, look, we’re going to have dutch brothers again. We for sure are. And the next time we get it, we’re not going to have had it for a while. And, ooh, it’s going to taste so good again.

This is why I like to change up my food. I like to change up different things because I really do like to enjoy food. And I don’t make myself wrong for that. Ladies, I think we’ve been wronged for, like, not wanting to enjoy food. And I like to enjoy food. And so how I can enjoy food is by changing it up. And when I start to notice that I’m doing a habit, I have guardrails in place.

So that I know, like, okay, Shan, change it up. Try something different. Jenn, any tips you have for like, habit eating mine is just honestly, that pause and having the conversation with yourself. It’s just a matter of asking, like, do I really want this right most of the time, like you said, you just, I mean, I fell victim to everyday Dutch, bro. Shannan knows I thought mine when she said that.

I’m like, dang it, I forgot mine’s in my freezer. But really, when I stop going every day, it is like, oh, now I get to enjoy it. Now I get to be present to as I’m eating it. Not just like, you know, Shannan’s talked about going through a bag of chips and then you’re like, where’d the bag go? Right? Being present and enjoying it and being intentional with your eating.

So I think just taking that moment to pause, decide intentionally and then enjoy it. Yeah, I mean, this is what I think is some of the really great work, obviously in transform boss. It’s the thinking and the mental weight. But I also think when you can release the shame and the guilt and enjoy food again, I think for many women who carry extra weight, they don’t actually enjoy food.

It is more like, I just have to get this down because I need this hit. And then they have so much guilt and shame around what they’re eating. They don’t enjoy it or they’re hiding and sneak eating. I mean, right, I’ve done that. And then you have again, just this shame. Shame. And shame is so heavy. Almost makes you feel like you can’t breathe. And the guilt and the just constant mental drama of it all.

I wanted freedom from that. I didn’t want all the mental drama around food and I wanted to enjoy food. And you can do that with the work in transform boss, with learning how to think differently, having these really simple, easy tools that you can implement, that’s how you can start to do something different and get through some of this habits that you’re creating. The success pain. If you missed last week’s episode, you want to go back?

It’s a good one, ladies. It’s a really good one. Episode number 242. It brings me into number two, why you can’t stop eating. Emotional eating. Jenn and I did a really great episode back on. I think it was 241. Yes, 241. We did a great episode on emotional eating. So if you missed that, just go back and listen to that one. But emotional eating, for me was a way that I could just push down my negative emotion anytime I was feeling stressed.

I mean, I had a saying like, oh, I just need chocolate. I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said that in my lifetime. Like, oh, I just need chocolate because chocolate is going to solve it. I mean, I said that out loud to other humans. People would bring me chocolate. I remember admins of mine bringing me chocolate, making sure, like, I’m not kidding. Like, we had it, like, stocked because, oh, my God, I just got off this meeting.

Where’s my chocolate? And then I’d run out to her desk and grab the chocolate or the pantry. You know, ladies, it’s deep emotional eating. We just, again, we learned it. And so I think a lot of our habit eating starts in emotional eating. We can lose the guilt and shame. Look, every human copes in some way, in a negative way, meaning they use some sort of buffer, some sort of thing in between them and the negative emotion.

And it can be social media, shopping, alcohol, drugs, porn. I mean, you name it, it can be there. And so, yes, we use food. And I just like to drop the shame about it, because there’s no shame. You’re a human and you’re trying to learn how to cope. And for most of us, we didn’t have coaching. I didn’t have coaching until my forties. We didn’t know. And even though, you know, I went through therapy and different things, a lot of that was about healing my past.

It didn’t give me a lot of things about, like, okay, what am I doing today? What do I do when I want to just eat my face off? I just got in a argument with my husband and all I want is a bag of queso chips. Like, what do I do? I now know what to do. I now have the tools in my tool belt. But before, I didn’t know.

I think about this. I don’t know. It just came in my mind. I think about all these ladies, you know, if you’re one and you’re on the weight loss drugs, you know, what do you do now if you don’t learn right? Because food will make you sick if you eat it, right? So food is in it for you now. So now are you over shopping, over drinking, over exercising, over working, over social media, whatever it is, because your brain is going to want to numb and disconnect from something.

So this is why no matter what you’re doing, whether you’ve had weight loss surgery, drugs, whatever it is for you, this mental part, the emotional part, if you don’t learn that, you will find some other destructive behavior. And I know this because, you know, ladies, in 2006, I had weight loss surgery. I know all about the destructive things that you can do when you don’t have food. And some of them are way more destructive than what food can be.

I just. I have to put that disclaimer out there because the work that we do, Jenn and I, and the how we coach, is for any woman who struggles with the mental weight of weight loss and having more weight on their body and not understanding the mental part of what weight and the diet, roller coaster and diet trauma, what has done to you? So, Jenn, emotional eating, what comes up for you?

Yeah, I was just thinking through, like, what could you do with emotional eating? Right. Like some tips. And I think the first piece is identifying, like, do you emotionally eat to buffer? And if you don’t emotionally eat, do you buffer with something else? And the answer is probably yes, because this work. While yes, we focus on weight loss, it also branches to so many different areas and so identify, like where, where, or how do you buffer?

How do you cope and avoid emotion. And then the second piece, I love, Shannan, that you said, like, make a game plan, right? Okay. When I get in a fight, when I feel this emotion, what could I do instead? Or what could I even insert to just bring myself into awareness? And then lastly, I love. Anytime we ask ourselves a question, it gets us out of that automatic brain and into our thinking brain.

And so asking, what do I really need from myself right now? We think we want the food, but we really need something else. So what is that? And then you can just give yourself whatever it is you need and give yourself, like, the love and kindness, right? Sometimes we want to beat ourselves. Why am I doing this again? Why am I choosing the food? It’s just habit. It’s just what we’ve done.

So giving yourself that grace and kindness and then just providing what you really do need. I love that question. Another way you can phrase it, too, is, what am I really hungry for? You think it’s food, but I promise you it’s not. It could be connection, it could be love, it could be acceptance. When I ask myself, what am I really craving? What am I really hungry for?

Ladies, it is not food. I promise you that. It’s something deeper than that. And when you get coached and when you go through this process that we teach, it’s like, whoa, this is what I’m really hungry for. And sometimes ladies have these aha’s of like, whoa. I didn’t even know that that is what I was really missing. Ladies, many of us live a life that someone else created, that someone else said, you need to do this, you need to blah, blah, blah, or just circumstances happened.

We were young, we just went on this path, and then here we are. And the cool part, I think this is the coolest part about getting older, is I now get to think what I want to think, do what I want to do, and create the life that looks like a life that I want, the decisions that I want. Every time I think about it, I’m just like, yes, yes, it is good to be an adult.

Yes, there’s a lot of responsibilities and a lot of things. But, like, you get to decide what you want and what you want to think, and I love that. So, lastly, number three. The third reason you can’t stop eating is because you’re just so disconnected from your own body. You have actual hormones, ghrelin and leptin, that tell you when you’re hungry and when you’re full, and every human does.

But if you have been on the diet roller coaster, you don’t even feel them anymore. You don’t even know what physical hunger feels like. You don’t know the difference between physical hunger and you just need to get hydrated, right? You’re just so disconnected from your body. And why you’re so disconnected from your body is because you have so much negative chatter about that beautiful body. You have loathed it.

You have hated it, you have told it. It’s not good enough. And so when you don’t like something, you want to escape it. You want to run from it. And so what happens is you can’t stop eating because you don’t know that you’re full or that you’re satisfied until you’re way past that. And then you feel lethargic and you feel exhausted, and then you beat yourself up. And so being disconnected from your body is part of this work.

It’s reconnecting with your body, having different thoughts about it, and starting to find, how do I know when I’m physically hungry? We have four basics in transform boss. And these basics are really amazing. And each one of them serve a different purpose. So they all work together, and I think they’re magic. We have our eating basics, and that’s how do you eat? What do you eat? How do you connect back to your body?

We have the brain basics, which is all about your thinking and how you start to believe new things. We have the body basics. This is how you can make weight loss so easy. It’s like, so easy. Like, the things in that module I’m thinking of our course right now. So easy. And then we have the emotion basics. And the emotions is about, how do you start to feel emotions.

How do you start to handle some of these situations, like transitions and night eating? And the crazy part is you start with one, and then you pick one, and then you just keep building on those over time. And eventually, you just see the magic and the power of those four basics that work together. Like, that’s where the magic, and it’s all inside of you. None of it is outside of you.

It is all inside of you. And so when you come back to feeling your body, when you come back and you start to notice, like, oh, I feel food in my belly right before, you’d be like, you wouldn’t even pay attention. You’d be on the phone because you weren’t even paying attention to what you were eating. Now you’re like, oh, I’m starting to feel satisfied. And then you can get up, and then you can always come back to it, but you can get up and just come back a minute or two later and you’ll be so amazed when you’re like, oh, I’m satisfied.

I don’t need anymore. That is the power of this work. So when I talk about disconnection, Jenn, disconnection. What comes in your head? What I was thinking about is just how sometimes how rushed we are. I think a big piece of it is what you said, right. We want to be as far away from our bodies as disconnected, but I think another piece is just, and tie it back in with what we talked on the episode.

Right. Like, staying busy. We’ve got to stay busy. Everything is just so rushed. We feel like, you know, we’ve got to be multitasking to be effective. I know I’ve thought this before. Like, I finally get a moment to sit down and I’m going to scroll my phone while I eat. Well, if I’m scrolling my phone and my mind is busy on that, I’m not focusing. I’m not listening to my body.

And so it just comes back to, I think, slowing down and just being intentional about listening because your body has built in signals and each of ours will be a little different. For me, it was a sigh, and I remember when I noticed it and I was like, what? I’m sure all my life I’ve had this, but it’s just this little sigh of, like, when I am getting full, when I’m starting to be satiated.

And so just slowing down enough that you can hear what your body is telling you, oh, that is golden. I mean, that’s it. It’s so funny that you had this signal from your body, but you had no idea. And I tell you, ladies, there’s many signals that your body gives you that you are full or that you’re physically hungry that we don’t even know about. I know. You know, it’s interesting, this work.

I love this work. I mean, ladies, I really do. Like, I love this work so much that I just can’t even stop sharing it and loving it because it’s so interesting. When you just start learning about yourself, you think you know yourself, you think, oh, I’m with myself. But I was amazed through this work and how much I just was not aware I was such a robot for so long that I was just getting the bare minimum that now when I can be aware and when I can see things and I can test things and I can see how it is for me, I just have my power back and I get to create this life that I recognize.

I get to create a body that I love. And I have so much freedom in my thinking and allowing myself to just lose the mental weight that goes with all of these pieces. So, ladies, I tell you, I have loved these episodes. And we’re coming back in two weeks. Yep, every other week we drop a real powerful episode. In the meantime, come check us out. We love this work and we do this work in transform, boss.

That’s where the magic happens. But always it’s within you. I love you, ladies. I wish you a beautiful couple weeks. And thanks, Coach Jenn. She’s wonderful. Yes. Yes. All right, bye for now. Ready to lose it for the last time, including all that mental weight you’ve been carrying around? Then do these two things. Follow this podcast, then go to bflycoaching.com where you can get my free course or join us in my membership program where we take this work to a whole another level so you can get off the diet roller coaster and not be alone in your weight loss any longer.

Go to bflycoaching.com, that’s bflycoaching.com to check it all out. Bye for now.


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