Ep #244: Are You Dreading Summer?

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Episode #244: Are You Dreading Summer?

Summer is officially here, and with it comes a season full of fun plans, BBQs, pool parties, beach days, and endless opportunities to soak up the sun.

Whether it’s the pressure to look a certain way, or the fear of missing out, summer can bring a mix of emotions, and some might feel a bit of dread creeping in, especially when it comes to the desire to hide your body. But fear not! We’re here to navigate these feelings together and embrace this season with open arms.

Our bodies are incredible vessels that carry us through life, and summer is a perfect time to appreciate them. From the way your skin feels in the warm sun to the strength in your legs as you take a summer stroll, let’s celebrate the amazing things our bodies do for us every day.

In this episode I encourage all of my listeners to the #wearthething challenge! Step out of your comfort zones and wear that outfit you’ve been saving for a special occasion, the swimsuit you’ve been hesitant to try, or anything that makes you feel fabulous. Don’t forget to tag me on social media and use the hashtag #wearthething. This summer, it’s all about living your best life and embracing every moment.

Tune in this week for relatable stories, practical tips, and a whole lot of encouragement to help you not just survive but thrive this summer.

Don’t miss out on this empowering episode. Let’s make this summer the best one yet, together!

Remember to subscribe, rate, and leave a review if you enjoyed today’s episode. And as always, we’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences, so drop us a message or connect with me on social media.

In this episode…

≫[1:08] Shannan and Coach Jenn discuss the Transform Boss program, which focuses on community support, personalized coaching, and customized plans for sustainable weight loss.

≫[3:48] Introduction of the TMap tool, which helps in creating personalized weekly plans to achieve weight loss goals in as little as 30 minutes a week.

≫[5:22] Shannan and Coach Jenn share their personal experiences with body image issues and societal judgment, and challenging unrealistic expectations and focusing on gratitude for one’s body.

≫[9:52] Comparison and unrealistic expectations

≫[11:30] “#WEARTHETHING CHALLENGE“: Shannan encourages women to participate in a challenge to step out of their comfort zones and share their experiences.

≫[16:29] The importance of mindset, self-acceptance, and valuing your body for its functionality rather than appearance.

Featured on the Show:

· Click here to learn more about joining my signature weight loss program, Transform Boss Weight Loss Membership

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·   Follow me on YouTube @shannanchristiansen

·  Email me – support@bflycoaching.com

Hi, I’m Shannan Christiansen, a corporate girl, life coach, Mimi, and wife who struggled with her weight since I was eight years old. I weighed as much as 315 pounds. Tried all the things which just left me feeling like weight was always going to be my struggle. Fast forward. Through many failed attempts and a whole lot of coaching, I got off the diet roller coaster for good. If you are a woman tired of dieting and food plans, looking to get off the diet roller coaster, you are in the right place.

 

Hello, love. Ooh. I’m so happy to be back with you. I feel like it’s been a while since I recorded the podcast, and I’m just glad to be back with you, friend. And of course, I have my beautiful co host, Jenn Taylor. I mean, right? She is just a cutie and an amazing coach and just an amazing human. So if you ever get to know her, you want to know her for sure.

 

You know, we have been busy and transformed. No, Jenn, we have a challenge. Just all sorts of fun things, workshops. You know what’s so interesting, we’ve been rolling out all this new stuff to our ladies. And I want to say this because I really listen to all your feedback. I mean, ladies give us feedback all the time. I really do listen to it. And one of the things is a lot of you are listening to this podcast and you haven’t joined us in transform boss yet.

 

And the reason why is because maybe like, oh, I’m trying the realistic plan, or I’m, you know, thinking my thoughts, and I just want to invite you to come and join us. Because on the podcast, although it’s amazing, I believe for sure it’s just a small portion of the amazing transformation that happens in transform boss. And it’s not just the coaching or the coursework or the community. I believe it’s the magical piece of all of it.

 

And then depending on who you are and what you want and what you need, you can customize it for yourself. You can do it in a. As little as 30 minutes a week, which is almost less than the podcast, and you can start to really have transformation. And, you know, I think as women, we just think we can do it alone. We do. And we’re so scared of support because we’ve just been judged our whole lives for weight.

 

But that’s not how transformed boss is. You can say anything, do anything, come as you are, struggle, and you just have women who are going through the same thing. I think is great is that you get to see what else someone else is going through. So you just don’t feel alone. What do you think about that, Jenn? When someone’s like, well, I listened to the podcast, I took the free course and, you know, I’m trying it on my own.

 

Yeah, as you were talking, I was just thinking for myself prior to joining. Some of it, I think is about like, I don’t know if I should invest in myself again because what if I fail again, right. And this worry too about, oh, well, I’m scared to go share what’s going on with other ladies. There’s some shame associated with, like, the things that we’re thinking or the things that we’re doing.

 

But I just having the community, the other women getting to learn from them, I still learn from them till this day. And I just think all of it is like the perfect combination of getting the most out of it. Because even if you were to learn all the work, all of the pools of things from the podcast, you’re missing out on the application, the feedback from other women, the conversations that are happening.

 

There’s just so much. It’s hard to explain, but yeah, there’s so much in there just makes that journey, that transformation so different. Yeah. And we have a new tool, too, called the t map. And the t map basically is this 1 minute quick survey that you do. It has three questions, and then from that it gives you, okay, this is what you should do. So if you ever joined a program, and like, you know, we always say, well, there’s a lot of different things, right, in transform, what the team app does is it individualizes it for you based on are you overeating, are you stressed, depending on the area that you’re really struggling with and also how much time you have.

 

So if you only have 30 minutes a week, the TMaP gives you a plan for the entire week. I mean, it’s pretty fantastic, ladies, so that you don’t have to come in and not know what to do. And again, it’s based on you and what you need. And so you don’t even have to figure anything out. You can just come do the TMap. You’ll get this printout of here’s what you do for the week, and then you just go do it.

 

And I tell you, we just are always looking for ways to make it simpler and easier because our true purpose is to just help women lose weight, live in a body that feels like freedom, and really live their best life. And so I want to ask you, how are you living life this summer? So this is going to release on July 3, right before the holiday, and it’s summertime and, you know, shorts are out.

 

No sleeves are out, bathing suits are out. All the things. Pool parties, right? All the fun things of summer. You know, I think back, I mean, oh, my gosh, for most of my life, I didn’t want to wear the shorts. I had a real complex about my legs, and it stemmed from actually, I mean, I’ll never forget it. Me and my best friend, when I was, I want to say in, like, 10th grade, somewhere in that range, 9th grade, 10th grade, we were in a sewing class.

 

I mean, I can actually picture these shorts we made these shorts, they were, like, green with, like, palm trees on them. I mean, ladies, I don’t even know. Like, when I think about it, I’m like, I’d be way more worried about the shorts than the legs, but. So me and my bestie, we decided we were going to wear them to school because we were matching and we wore them to school.

 

And I remember walking down the hall and someone said, big legs and skinny legs and ladies, big legs, because I had already had that. I’d already been bullied. I’d already been told I was fat. You know, all the things, ladies. And it just. I. I don’t know when I wore shorts again after that, to be honest. I mean, rarely, if that. So I developed this complex around my legs that they were just so large.

 

And it really, no matter what weight I was at, this was the craziest part. Even when I started to get thinner, even at one of my lowest weights, I still didn’t want to show my legs and felt very self conscious about my legs. I think this goes so deep. This is about the work. You know, we call it work because it is the best work, and it is the work that transforms your life.

 

It’s the work that keeps you showing up for yourself. It’s the work that, like, is so rewarding. It’s not like work in a negative sense. It’s work in the best possible way. Because this is about changing what you think and believe about yourself, because it doesn’t matter what you weigh on the scale. I know this to be true. You could be at your goal weight and still start thinking, well, I need five more pounds, or I don’t like the skin I’m in, or I don’t like my legs, or I don’t like my arms.

 

Oh, my goodness, ladies, I got stretch marks. All the things. This is why what we do in transform, boss, is really helping women transform their minds so that they can lose the mental weight. I had to do a lot of work on my legs and acceptance of my legs, because the crazy part is, if you saw my leg, you’d be like, I mean, I just have a normal set of legs, ladies.

 

Right? I mean, but again, in my brain, I just had a whole different viewpoint of them. No, again, no matter what I weighed, it really did not matter what I weighed. And so, you know, summertime starts to bring out, I think, in the wintertime, for many of you, even me living in Arizona, I can put on a sweater, I can put on my boots. I can put on a light coat.

 

All of y’all out there in the Winterlands, you can, you know, really cover it all up. And so summer starts to bring all these insecurities and all these things because you can’t wear ten layers. Right? So, Jenn, when I talked about that, anything that you’ve struggled with or come up, when you think about summer, I don’t know if it’s directly summer. I mean, it came up at summertime, but all my life, my best friend growing up, too was.

 

Was this big, and I was the bigger girl. And I, at the time, right. I was a teenage girl. I didn’t realize everybody has their own bodies and they’re all beautiful. And the comparison just always came up because she was the little skinny one is how people would always describe her. And I was just the bigger one, the one with the big boobs, you know? And it’s like, oh, I hated that so bad because it was this comparison, and it wasn’t just me, it was other people.

 

But, of course, those comments lived in my head forever. And so every time we would be hanging out, I would just compare. And this was when I was a teenage girl. I was all the things, right? But still to this day, we’re still friends today. And thankfully, with doing this thought work, I’ve been able to let that go. But there was a lot of my adulthood, even, that I would get together with her and compare myself and just be like, you’ll never be her.

 

You will never get to wear those clothes in the summer and look that way and do those things. And I just think that comparison and really like shedding those layers in the summer, right? All of the things that we hide behind so easily that it really can start to cause some mind drama for us. Oh, yeah. And then what happens, ladies? If you’re trying to lose weight, you’re going through this thing.

 

Then you can find that in summertime, you start having these unrealistic expectations, and then you start, you know, this whole back on the diet roller coaster, the binge restrict cycle. And I see them out there, like, lose 20 pounds this month, you know? And so you start having these unrealistic expectations because you’re like, well, if I could just lose this before this party or this wedding or whatever it is for you, I’ll feel better.

 

But what happens is you’re just stuck on the diet roller coaster. And I love this thought, Jenn, about how comparison affects us, because I, too, right? I had the same scenario. I had a friend who had really nice legs and skinny, right? And so what it did when I compared myself to that was that something was wrong, but nothing was really wrong with me. It’s just that’s the thought that I had.

 

I took all that information and then interpreted it in that way, and then it just kept living for the longest time in my brain. I think another thing that happens is we’re afraid of judgment of others. And so if I wear this bathing suit, what will people think? If I, you know, wear shorts, what will they think? If I show my arms, what will they think? If I show my tummy, what will they think?

 

And I just want to give all of you a challenge. This is a challenge. This is for all my transform bosses, too. I just want to give you a challenge to wear the thing this summer. Take something and just wear it, whatever it is that you’ve been holding back. I will never forget when I walked down the beach with my husband in a bathing suit and I felt so gorgeous.

 

Ladies, I’m not even kidding. I was like, yes. And it wasn’t because my body was quote unquote perfect in society standards, for sure. Not. It was because of how I thought about myself. It’s because how I felt and how I didn’t worry about others judgment. It never even crossed my mind that I was worried that someone would think, oh, why is she wearing that? And it felt so good.

 

It was a freedom. What I want for all of you, I want you to lose the weight that you want to lose. One and two, I want you to start to change your mindset so that when you lose the weight that you want, as you’re losing the weight that you want, you can start to change your mindset so that you start to find that freedom. There is nothing better than freedom in your mind when you are not pulling at your clothes all the time, when you’re not tugging at the thing, when you’re missing out on things, you know?

 

And, Jenn, when you think about, like, things that you’ve missed out on, because of your weight. Anything come up? Oh, the list is so long. There was a time recently where I just went to a viewing for a friend’s mother in law, and I was seeing people that I used to work with ten years ago. Probably haven’t seen them in person, and my mind started to like, what are they gonna think?

 

How are they gonna judge you? And thankfully, I was like, hold on a minute. They don’t care. They don’t give two thoughts about what I look like. They’re excited to see me. But I have missed out on so many things and just said, oh, I don’t feel like it’s. Or I can’t make it. And I just think, as you were talking, that freedom, it just allows us to be present, fully embracing all of that moment instead of all the chatter happening.

 

Like, when you say freedom, I think of it as this, like, mind freedom, because otherwise, it’s that chatter of, what are they thinking? Oh, is that person looking at me weird? All the things. And when you get to just have that freedom and be present and enjoy it with the people you want to be around, it is just the best. Yeah. I think about this time when I.

 

I have this. It’s like a reddish pinkish bathing suit. And I walked out of my room, and my grandkids were in the living room, and my granddaughter looked at me, and she just was like, you are so beautiful. And I say this because I love that bathing suit. I do. I wear it all day, ladies. I do. I love that bathing suit, and I love how I feel in it.

 

And I think about going swimming with my grandkids and playing in the pool with them and having fun with them, and I never want to miss out on any of that. I don’t want to also create things for them. I don’t want to walk out my bathing suit. And when she said I looked so, I mean, ladies, you would have thought I was, like, a victorious. I mean, she.

 

Her eyes just were like, oh, my gosh. My mimi in this bathing suit, you know? And if I would have said, oh, my gosh, well, I’m so fat. I’m so. You know, I’m old, whatever the deal was. But I didn’t. I was like, oh, my gosh. Thank you. I love this bathing suit, too. I love the way I feel in it. And so, again, it’s such a difference.

 

I don’t think we realize, as women, how we’re setting the example for all the other humans around us. And you can take that on as a responsibility if you want or if you don’t, up to you. But I do like to think about the impact that I have and how I think and feel about my own body. I want women to know that whatever that number is on the scale that you can think differently about yourself today, most of you who are listening, you’re like, Shannan, I just want to lose the weight.

 

This is the craziest part of all of it. To lose the weight for good with no tricks or all the things out there to really do it for the long term, it’s really about starting to think differently about yourself and having more self acceptance and knowing that ultimately, what is it that you really want? What do you really want to feel like? What do you really want to think about yourself?

 

And all of that’s healing. And I think it’s just a really amazing journey that I’ve been on. And I think about all our bosses, Jenn, and I just love all of them actually to pieces. And I think about their journeys and their journey of self acceptance and love and weight loss and starting to think differently. And I think if you’re struggling with summertime and you’re struggling with the way that you’re feeling and you’re hiding and you’re not doing the things that you want to do, I would say one, when you look in the mirror and you see yourself, I always like to just go in and just appreciate the body that I have.

 

You don’t have to get to thoughts of, I love this body. You can’t go from I hate it to I love it. That doesn’t happen. So what you want to do is just start to have some appreciation. That is the first step right now. Today, you can appreciate your body. You can appreciate that you have a body, that it got you out of bed today, that your heart pumps blood for you, that your lungs breathe for you.

 

And I think just coming back to that, just very basic things that your body does for you can help you have more appreciation for your body. Summertime, what it does is it just reveals some, maybe some stuff around body acceptance and body love that you have work to do. And I think as women, I will say this a hundred times, it does not matter what your number on the scale.

 

I have seen women who weigh, you know, 110 pounds, who hate their body, so it doesn’t matter. And so if you’re listening to this and you have a lot of negative chatter about your body, the first step is just this appreciation and gratefulness for your body and what it does for you. It does so many things for you every day that you don’t even have to think about.

 

I think about all the times that I just cloud it with all the food, like, whoa. You know? And it just was like, all right, we’re gonna handle all this food you just ate, and we’re gonna process it and save it. You know, all the things my body just does that no matter what I’ve done to it. And I have done some things to this body and it just keeps showing up for me.

 

And I think no matter where you’re at in this process, that first step is just gratitude and appreciation. Anything else, Jenn, you would add to that? As you said that I’m like, our body’s like a little puppy, right? It just, like, no matter what you do, it just loves you. It’s just there for you. It just keeps showing up, right? I think just deciding ahead of time, this has been so powerful for me, is like, what do you want to get?

 

What do you want the summer experience to be like? Because then you can work to create that for yourself, right? And it isn’t going to be going from I hate my body to I love my body, but it is going to be having more awareness around those thoughts when they come up deciding, you’re going to put on the shorts anyway and you’re going to go do it, right?

 

Because once you start to do it anyway, then you realize, oh, it’s not that big of a deal, and you start to gain, like, a bit of confidence throughout it, right? And so that’s what I would suggest is just decide ahead of time, what do you want the summer to look like and go do the thing. And, ladies, I have to tell you ladies something. I’ve been wearing these short little dresses.

 

I don’t know what I think about myself. I’m, like, in my fifties wearing this short little dress. I have to watch that my bum doesn’t show because I don’t want that to happen. But I tell you, ladies, I’m like, yeah, my husband’s a big fan of it and so am I. I love it. You know, I like thinking about my body in a way that feels amazing to me.

 

And that can be whatever it is for you. But I think what happens over time, like, when I carried a lot of extra weight and didn’t feel good about myself, I just wanted to cover it all up. But then that just kept me feeling so bad about myself, and I would wear really big clothes and try to cover it, and it kept me from going to the events and doing the things, and I just challenge all of you this summer to have a different experience.

 

And all your experiences start in your brain. I know you’re like Shannan in this brain stuff, right? It always starts in your brain. Always. And ladies, this is why this work is so important. Because, look, we’re all getting older. All this stuff is happening. And when you do this work and you start embracing the wrinkles and you start embracing my hands, ooh, I mean, I just, they’re wrinkled, ladies.

 

And when you start to embrace it and you’re just like, oh, but I love these hands because these hands hold hands with my husband. These hands hold hands with my grandkids. When I go back to those things, I just had chills, actually. It just brings me back to again that this body is amazing. And I get, if you’re not there, this is why I say the first step is just appreciation.

 

And if you want to learn more about this work and doing this work, come join us. You know, this month, our workshop is all about getting your success and your wins. And we have it on. I think it’s July 18, if I have the date right in my head. And so I don’t want you to miss out on this workshop because I really am going to dig into how to have success in weight loss and how to really stay in the gain of weight loss instead of the gap, which is a book club that we do.

 

We’re not going to do that book club this month, but, ooh, it’s a good one. Jenn, any other thoughts about summer or anything you want to leave the ladies with? It does. It goes back to thoughts. So just, I mean, like you said, when you are starting to appreciate your body, thinking of your body in a way of holding hands with others, of your legs, carrying you, of all of those things, it doesn’t have to be that I like my waist, that I like my legs.

 

It doesn’t have to be that. It can be what does your body do for you? And I think that that just shifts the focus instead of looking at it as this external thing that should look a certain way about what it really does for you and how it’s been there and you start to find love and appreciation for it through that. Yes. So, hash, wearthething. And if you want to tag me on befly coaching our Facebook page and post a picture of yourself wearing the thing, I’m in, right?

 

All my bosses in the community wear the thing, post a picture. I’d love to see it. Because I tell you, ladies, that’s the powerful thing. When we start to see bodies, these beautiful bodies that we have, and we start doing things and feeling good about it. Mmm. All right, ladies. I love you ladies. We’re going to be back in two weeks with another wonderful episode, and I want to thank you, Jenn.

 

And until next time, ready to lose it for the last time, including all that mental weight you’ve been carrying around? Then do these two things. Follow this podcast, then go to beflycoaching.com, where you can get my free course or join us in my membership program where we take this work to a whole another level so you can get off the diet roller coaster and not be alone in your weight loss any longer.

 

Go to bflycoaching.com, that’s bflycoaching.com to check it all out. Bye for now.

 

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