Ep #76: I Have So Much to Lose

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 76. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello Love. I am so happy to be back with you, as always. I love spending this time with you and I am excited about today’s show. Today, we’re going to dive into two tricky thoughts and you for sure will not want to miss this.

But first, I want to give a listener shout out. This is where I read a review of the podcast and this week’s listener shout out is to Dana Hageman-Allen. And she wrote hi Shannan. This new way of thinking about failure as being data has just changed my whole life. Of course, we as humans are going to have failures, it is inevitable. My old way of thinking was I’d start a diet and be good for a day or two, and then I’d overeat way too much of something, feel sick to my stomach and feel lethargic. And then my thought was, well I blew this diet again. I’m never going to lose any weight. I’ve tried so many diets and failed at all of them, I’m just going to be fat for the rest of my life. Then I met you. Now I know I will fail over and over, but I now have new thoughts about asking questions and when I fail, I’m in control and know that my failures are lessons for me. And I’m learning so much about myself. Thank you Shannan. Oh Dana, I love it. Dana is one of my Transform Bosses. She has lost 30 pounds now, she’s lost so much weight, and you know, she’s at the lowest weight since before her adult child was born. And you know what I love about Dana is that she just keeps showing up my Love, and she just keeps, like she’s so, I can see it in her face. She’s just so excited about learning and failing and challenging herself. And I love you Dana, and I love this work. So thank you Dana. So much love for you.

Again, if you love the show please rate and review it. It really does help other women find us. So our grandbaby, Emma, is here. She’s finally here my Loves. She was born at 36 weeks. She is perfect and tiny and sweet. You know, she for sure gave all of us a good scare. She gave her mama some trouble, for sure, but she is here and she’s perfect. And she was a little jaundiced when she was born, but you know, did the photo blanket, and now she’s doing perfect and gaining a little bit of weight and Oh, she’s so beautiful. You can go to bflycoaching.com and I’ll post a pic there just cause she’s so beautiful. Mama and the whole family are doing so good.  So, you know, it’s all good.

But ladies, I have to share a little story with you. So I have to tell you, when she went into labor, she went into labor, her water broke at about 2:30 in the morning and, of course you know, Paul and I, we were on, you know, on-call to go and get our grandbabies so Taylor could go to the hospital of course, and be there with her. And so we had our grandbabies, all four of them, for three  days. And I have to tell you, it was amazing. And it felt a little crazy at times. I mean seriously, I have so much appreciation for any of you who have more than one. I only had one and then my step-kids. I, you know, got them when they were seven and nine, so they were a little older. So I have to tell you, four babies, I mean, you know they’re not babies, my oldest grandson is 10, but they really do, you know, want your attention and they need something. And at times it was a little overwhelming, but honestly, since they’ve gone home, I’ve missed them so much. And they’re all at such different stages and it’s so fun to watch them. But again, I really do, I have appreciation for my son and daughter-in-law, I really do.

So I want to start today’s episode with a story. And this is way back when I was starting to lose my weight for good. I had really dug in. I had hired a coach and I was ready to do it. I was ready to lose the weight. So I had been doing the work, feeling pretty good. I had lost about 15 pounds. Now I was still over 230 pounds, and these little thoughts started to creep in: I have so much to lose and it’s going to take so long to lose my weight. I started calculating how long it would take and how much, and I started to feel discouraged. Then that weekend I totally went off plan. It started with a chocolate lava cake. No, for real, like, I remember this so vividly. I had negotiated in my mind about this chocolate lava cake and then I wanted it and that, you know, and again, it all started from these two little thoughts. And then I ate the chocolate lava cake and then a whole bunch of forget its came in. I will start again on Monday, you know, all of these different thoughts.

So see, these two simple thoughts – I have so much to lose and it’s going to take so long – made me feel discouraged. I started having doubts and then I started playing in the puddle. You ladies know what that is, right? It’s when you’re just playing in the puddle. I think of it like I visualize it as like me out in a puddle of mud, and it’s really my thoughts, and I’m just playing around in them. Have you ever done this? Where you just start going down a long spiral of bad thoughts and then you’re eating all the things.

See I was learning at the time, I was learning how to show up for myself. I was learning how to lose weight for good. I was learning how not to be scared of food, learning how to feel hunger, learning that I was in control and that I could actually eat whatever I decided. I see this with my clients. These sneaky little thoughts come in and they think that they should be farther along than they are.

They think they should not have these thoughts. They start to play in the puddle of, I want it right now. This is how our brain works. I think of a toddler who is throwing a little tantrum because they want it. They want it all and they want it right now. I want to lose weight and I want it to be gone. And I want it off right now. And this tantrum starts with these two little thoughts. Because I was having success. I was feeling good. I was losing weight for the last time. I was learning how to get off the diet rollercoaster. But these two little thoughts just kept creeping in.

See, nothing had gone wrong, it was just part of my learning. I was learning that sometimes my brain is going to go into a tantrum, just like a toddler. I did not have to give into it. I can allow it. I can allow those thoughts. I can watch those thoughts, have fun with the thoughts, and then my Love, just move on.

So I want to offer three tips to all the ladies who are not my clients yet on how to help you when you have these thoughts on your weight loss journey. Number one, these thoughts are tricky because they’re not true. Whether you have 20 pounds or 150 pounds to lose, every pound you lose you will start to feel some relief. You will be moving into the next version of yourself. You will feel successful all the way down with each new milestone, new failure, and learning. It will be amazing. And the journey is always the best part. We think when we get “there” it will be better, but Loves, what I teach my clients, and what I’ll teach you is that the journey is the best part. And when you learn to love the process it makes it so much easier.

And I want to challenge this whole, it’s taking too long. I’m going to ask you a question. Ready? How long have you been on the diet rollercoaster? I really want you to think about this. I was on it for almost 38 years. It took me a process of probably two years and a bit to lose it for good. Two versus 38. Two was the fastest I had ever lost it because I lost it for good. If you lose it all in six months or a year and you gain it back, you didn’t lose it. I want you to sit with that for a moment because I hear ladies, I hear even my clients, they like to play in the puddle of like, Oh this is so slow and I want it to come faster. And again, those are just limiting thoughts, because I am telling you, when you follow my process, you are learning to lose weight for good. You’re learning to lose it in a way that when you finally reach your natural weight, whatever you decide that is, that you don’t gain it back.

So it will actually become the fastest you’ve ever lost weight in your life. So just call yourself out of the puddle thought that it’s taking too long and you know, just know that it’s there, allow it and then just move on.

Number two, if you overeat and have failures, perfect. Get curious. Why? Why did you overeat? Why did you eat off plan? Then have some grace and love for yourself and move on. Nothing has gone wrong if you’re moving forward. So many times I would completely quit for months at a time after a weekend binge. While I was losing my weight for the last time, if I went off track, I just got curious and I did not let a day or two turn into a week or a month or a year. Love, hear me when I say this, just don’t quit. Don’t give up on yourself and don’t throw in the towel.

And number three, when you start failing in your future, you know that you’re playing in the puddle. You’re just throwing a tantrum in your thoughts. Your future, my Love, it is amazing. You don’t have to worry about it. All you can think about is how your future self is amazing, and just make a decision today on how you want to show up today and leave it right there.

So the transformational questions are number one, what tricky thoughts are leading you to give up or quit on yourself? Number two, what do you want to believe about how long and how much weight you have to lose that will serve you? And if you need help implementing the tools that I teach and want to go deeper on this work, I invite you to join Transform Weight Loss Program. This program is based on three elements: coaching, community, and a weight loss course. This program will help you implement the tools that I teach so that you can live your best life in a body you love. Go to bflycoaching.com/join.  So much love. 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.