We are at episode 85. Can you even believe it? We are only 15 episodes away from 100 and we’re going to do something pretty special for episode 100. You will not want to miss it. In this episode we are talking about action and how it shows up in our weight loss journey. First, let me share with you this story about when I hired a personal trainer. It was about 14 years ago. She was super fit and nice. I showed up for the first session, and she measured me, gave me an exercise plan and a very strict, clean diet. At first I was very motivated. But you know how the story goes, after a few sessions, I just eventually quit, because I had not eaten as instructed, or not done all the exercises, and feeling guilty and shame. I had lost my “motivation.” But I learned I did not quit on her, I quit on me!
Join me in this episode as I dive deep into how to stop looking for that “motivation” and how to learn to keep commitments to yourself, which lead to success. Just by changing your thoughts, your mindset, around your weight, food, yourself in general, you are starting to show up for yourself and you are keeping commitments to yourself. Do not let your lizard brain, aka Lizzie, pull you back into the cave. When you come to terms that you will most likely never have the motivation to do things that you’ll not want to do it, and then you do it anyways, that is where the magic lives.
You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 85. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.
Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Episode 85. Can you even believe it? We are only 15 episodes away from 100 and we’re going to do something pretty special for episode 100. You will not want to miss it. On today’s show, let’s talk about action and how it shows up in our weight loss journey. Ooh, it’s going to be good my love.
But first, I want to give a listener shout out. This is where I read a review of the podcast. This week’s listener shout out is to Okima Livingston. She left a review on bflycoaching.com/podcast. Okima wrote, I love the information that was given today. What clicked with me is setting yourself up for success. I keep telling myself my why and my thinking will be successful. Oh, thank you so much Okima. I love that. Your why. Oh, my loves. It really will help you in those moments when you want to give up. So knowing why you want to lose weight, why you want to live in a body that feels like freedom is so important. And if you love this show, I would so appreciate a rating and review. It does help other women help find the show. So, you know, leave a rating and review. I would so appreciate it.
So as I record this, it is a beautiful Saturday here in Arizona. I love Saturday mornings. I have a routine every morning and today I also allowed myself time, allowed myself time to take it slow, to not rush, and it felt so good. I went on a beautiful walk and I brought along my Transform ladies. I love to go live and take them on my walks. We’re rolling out some fun, new stuff in Transform, and I could not wait to tell them. As I record this it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow, and I wanted to wish them a Happy Mother’s Day.
And you know, I have to say loves, you know, and I know by the time you have listened to this, Mother’s Day will be over, but I think as ladies, we have all sorts of thoughts on Mother’s Day. I know for some of you, it is difficult. I know some of us we’ve lost our mothers. Some of us have difficult relationships with our mothers.
Some of us are mothers and maybe we have difficult relationships with our children. And some of us, it’s just an amazing, beautiful day. And wherever you’re at with this, my love, I just say, have some grace, some kindness, some love for yourselves. It is so important. I think we underestimate just loving ourselves and having some grace and allowing us to be a human imperfect.
So we are leaving tomorrow for Sedona and I have been waiting for this trip and had lots of anticipation and excitement because I am really gonna unplug. My husband and I we’re going up there, you know, there’s no internet, no TV. We’re going to read books and walk and hike and, you know, sit outside in nature and just absolutely enjoy the time.
And so I, you know, really think it’s so important my loves, that we take time to, you know, reenergize, to disconnect. I think about how connected we all are, and how our phones are always in our hands. I mean, I am super guilty of this, and you know, I think these times I can already anticipate, you know, that, you know, when I come back, I will, you know, want to be unplugged more. And so I, even today I’ve committed to myself, and I do this often, especially on weekends and nights where I just make a conscious decision to disconnect and, you know, put my phone down and leave it down because it really does help us feel peaceful.
It helps us connect with ourselves, and, you know, being connected all the time is just, you know, it’s a really, it is hard for our brains just taking in that information all of the time. It affects our sleep. And I think it overall affects our happiness level. So I wish for all of you to put in some sort of routine where you disconnect.
So let’s get into today’s show. I want to share this story of when I hired a personal trainer. And this was about 14 years ago. I was losing weight and I wanted to up my game. So I hired a personal trainer. She was super fit. She was very nice. And I showed up to our first session. You know, she measured me. You know, I had a lot of shame about that. We talked about my many failed attempts at weight loss and exercise routines. And she also gave me kind of this exercise plan. She gave me a very strict, very clean diet plan. I was going to meet with her two times per week.
So after we went through everything, you know, had our consultation, we then went to the mat. She took me through an excruciating workout, but I was pumped. Even though I had all kinds of shame, embarrassment of working out in the gym, I was motivated. And I kept thinking like, Oh, I just want to look like her. I want to like have this fit body.
I was probably a little over 200 pounds at the time. So I went home. I was feeling great. I mean, my body hurt, but I was feeling pretty good. Then came my next appointment with her. I had not been totally eating what she had instructed me to do or done all the exercises. So I started feeling guilty. Then all these thoughts about how embarrassing the gym was, but I muscled up enough courage to go in again
I made it through the workout. It was crazy hard. And I knew I’d be sore for days. I did this whole routine with her for a couple of weeks, but my thoughts were not good. I did not want to do it. I felt so much shame. It was overwhelming.
And I was losing my “motivation.” So I ended up canceling one of our appointments and then I had all the guilt and shame about canceling. And so then I just ended up quitting. But love, I didn’t quit on her. I quit on myself. I had so much self-loathing shame about my weight, and to top it off, I thought I needed to be motivated.
I thought it would get easier. I wanted all the thoughts about not liking it about the uncomfortableness of the gym environment, the pain of being physically tired and my muscles hurting to go away. I wanted it to be easy. I thought that over time it would get easier and that I would magically want to go to the gym, pay attention to what I was eating, fueling my body, instead of eating all the things. I thought it would just get easier. But love, that is not how we’re wired. When we take action on our goals and dreams, it does not feel good. Mostly. I know I wish we were wired different, but we’re not. The process of losing weight and keeping commitments to yourself, it is hard.
It brings up all the emotions from overwhelm, frustration, guilt, and shame. See, even today, my Lizzie will tell me to go back to bed to not do the things I committed to. She always has a voice, but I just don’t listen. I take the action that I committed to. I tell her myself that I’m going to do it.
And I think about the next one step that I must do. Maybe it’s putting on my walking clothes or making my realistic plan. I don’t think of all the things, just the next best action. I ask myself, how will you feel when you take the next best action? I think of that, feeling that feeling of accomplishment, of keeping the commitment to myself.
That is how I talk to myself. I love this quote from this iron man. He said, I talk to myself more than I listen to myself. And I love that because that is the key. See, commitment is such a powerful emotion. When we decide to honor ourselves, by honoring our commitments to ourselves, we take the action that serves our future self.
Even though in the moment, every thought is about going back into the cave or bed or the pantry. See one of the things that I love about Transform, because I think this is a really important part as you’re doing this work and you’re changing your thoughts and you’re starting to show up for yourself, you’re starting to keep commitments to yourself, this is why the community aspect is so important. Because love, our own lizard brains will always try to pull us back into the cave.
But when you have a community of women and you’re starting to backslide and they hold you accountable, and they, you know, inspire you, or they, you know, or you get coached or you just post in a community that you’re struggling, it is such an important part of this process. Because love, losing weight and being on this journey, I know it’s felt so lonely for so many of you and it was for me too. And so starting this work and starting to take the next best action, starting to keep the commitment to myself, it is, you know, it can be difficult at first. And having that community to pull you back in is such an important part of the process of losing weight for good.
And when you, you know, I want to talk about motivation because love, when you come to terms that you will most likely never have the motivation to do things that you’ll not want to do it, and then you do it anyways, well love, that is where the magic lives. This is where you will start honoring your commitments, even though in the moment you don’t want to.
This is how you build resilience, trust in yourself and ultimately become the unstoppable boss you were always meant to be, because love, when you take the next best action, even though you do not want to, you become unstoppable.
So the transformational questions are number one, What are the one to two actions you’re going to take to show up and honor your commitment to yourself? Number two, What is the mind chatter, excuses, thoughts that Lizzie will serve up to keep you from doing it? And number three, What is the next best action that you will take right now for your future self?
So good, my love. And if you need help implementing the tools that I teach and go deeper on this work, and you want a community, I invite you to join Transform Weight Loss Program. This program is based on three elements: coaching, community, and a weight loss course. This program will help you implement the tools so you can live your best life in a body you love. Go to bflycoaching.com/join to learn more. So much love. Bye for now.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.