You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 99. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. I am so happy to be back with you. Episode 99. I can’t even believe it. I’m so excited. We have such a special, special treat today. We, I just can’t wait. You are going to meet some of the most beautiful women on the podcast today. If you’ve been listening to me for a while, you know I don’t have a lot of guests I’ve only ever had one other episode ever in the lifetime of the podcast where I had other ladies on.

And today we have the ladies of Transform. These are women who are members of Transform Weight Loss Program, and they are going to come on and they’re going to share a little bit about their stories and they’re going to give you some advice and some tips that have really helped them along their journey. So I am just so excited about it today.

Now, before we get into the show, if you are loving the show, please rate and review the show. Make sure that you subscribe so I’m in your list every Wednesday morning. And ladies, we are doing a big giveaway for our hundredth episode. When you leave a written review for this podcast on Apple or iTunes, you can put yourself into a drawing for a basket of my favorite things. I am sure a piece of jewelry and a really nice blanket will be in there, and many other amazing things. We are going to draw on August 26. So you have to have your entry in by August 25th. So I have instructions and all of the details on bflycoaching.com/fun100.

Okay my loves. Are you ready to meet these amazing, amazing women? I mean, they are. I love each and every one of them, it has been a true blessing to get to know them. And I think you ladies are going to agree. So I am going to first ask Kelly, Kelly, if you’ll come on and just introduce yourself and just tell the ladies a little bit about yourself and how you found Transform.

Yes. So, so happy to be here with all of you today. My name is Kelly Anderson. I found Transform a year, I’ve been in Transform a year. So last July coming off of COVID or the middle of COVID, and, you know, I had gone to Sam’s club and bought the new diet craze, you know, keto drinks, and I brought them home and I was like, you know, I just cannot do it. I cannot do another crazy diet, and saw, I believe Shannan on a Facebook live that came on and she talked about getting off the diet roller coaster. And that was my main goal in joining Transform.

You know, through my twenties and thirties, you know, I could lose weight on some crazy diet, some crazy exercise plan, but I always gained it back. And then as I got into my fifties, it was impossible. I would still do the same thing, a crazy diet, a crazy exercise plan, but I would only lose 10 pounds and I would gain it right back. And so for me, learning how to keep off weight and maintain weight has been my, my biggest goal.

And I think for me, the realistic plan that Shannan teaches has been the best tool for me in maintaining weight. Because when you join Transform, Shannan says you can eat anything you want, to break that diet brain of excluding carbs or not eating fruit or whatever it was. And so that to me just gave me that license to make a plan, eat what I wanted, eat with my family. You know, I’ve been in Transform a year. I have lost 40 pounds. And since April, I have maintained that weight, that weight that I’ve been at. And it’s, that’s just the most amazing thing that I can imagine. You know, I do not have to be on a diet. I do not have to start another diet.

I’m on a plan that I can do for the rest of my life and maintain weight. Hey Kelly, tell the ladies, cause you’re all the things, right? You’re a mom, you’re a grandmother, you’re a wife, you work like all of the things. Right? And so up until, you know, I love the story about going, getting the Keto things, the shakes and being like, I just can’t do it again. But how long have you been on the diet rollercoaster? Yeah, I can remember being on my first diet at probably age 15, which was a liquid diet morning and lunch, and then you ate, you know, a sensible meal.

Yeah. I, I am a wife, a mother. I work full time. I, you know, I become a mentor in this program, which I love helping other women break that diet brain. And you know, the other part of Transform that has really been great for me is to feel my feelings. You’ve taught us physically how to feel our feelings in our body. So like if I’m dealing with a lot of anxiety or overwhelm, and I can physically feel that in my body, have it pass through and then I can move on to a new thought or challenge a new thought. Otherwise I’d be thought looping all day in worry and overwhelm. And it’s exhausting.

It is right. I think about this, you know, ladies, we overeat, we buffer, we overspend, we overwatch Netflix. We overwork, we overexercise because we don’t want to feel feelings and we’ve done it for so long it’s just habit. It is easier to not feel a feeling, to push it down than it is to stop, come into awareness, learn to feel that feeling. And I say easy, but really it’s just familiar to us. We’ve been doing it since we were probably in our teens, maybe even earlier. We have just learned how to not feel our feelings and we push them down.

But this is the thing my loves. Feelings, they don’t go away. They sit in our bodies, they sit, and so anxiety, stress, fear, sadness, all of it just lives there. And we can keep trying to push it down with a cupcake, but it will keep bubbling up. It will keep bubbling up. Thank you, Kelly. Thank you for introducing yourself.

I want to move to Yvette. Yvette, introduce yourself for the ladies and tell us a little bit about your journey to here today. Thanks Shannan. My name is Yvette Gardner and I have officially been with Transform for about a year. I am down 35 pounds, which is awesome for me. I learned of Transform, gosh, a couple years ago I guess, a friend had introduced me to the program. And I remember one of our first meetings where you started introducing me to the tools. One was you were asking me to make a realistic plan and it just, I was, no, I just fought against that.

I, it just could not sit in my brain at that moment, but over time I have, you know, I, I was thinking about the program. I was doing little bits and pieces, but about a year ago is when I joined, joined the group and really, you know, started doing the work. I have been on the diet rollercoaster since I was a little, maybe 10, 12, something like that. And I’ve done all the programs and have lost weight. I did surgery and lost weight, but I didn’t keep it off. And I didn’t keep it off because I was always looking for something outside of me to fix me. You know, thinking I can’t, you know, surgery is the only way I’m going to lose and, and I did lose, but I didn’t keep it off because I didn’t learn how to keep commitments to myself. And that is the biggest, most powerful tool that I have learned is starting to keep commitments to myself and that I do not have to be perfect.

I, you know, every day I do my best and that best will look different from day to day. So learning to trust myself and know that everything, you know, I think of you as my Ruby slippers, right? That I, that I had it all along. I just didn’t know it was there. And you have helped me to find that and find ways that I can keep commitments to myself and that I do trust myself. I would say that it, it hasn’t been quick, but I am also not white knuckling it. I am not panicked that if I, if I don’t make my plan, I’m going to put all the weight back on. Or if I don’t attend all the calls, I’m not worried about it. I know that I might gain a couple and lose a few and that’s okay.

It is honestly, you know, you say this is something that you can do for the rest of your life, and I believe that to be true. It took me a while to really get into the program, but I always have come back. And the reason that I have come back is because I know that it’s truth. I know that, you know, you hear it. You’re like, yeah, that, okay, that makes sense. And I’ve really valued the opportunity to learn from other women. Women who I know, and I know they are amazing and remarkable. And to hear that they don’t see that for themselves makes me think maybe I’m not really seeing myself clearly either. And that has, that’s been really powerful for me.

Yeah. Ooh, Yvette, you touched on something. You know, we just finished an event. It was a members only event, Unstoppable Live. And in this event, it was a two-day immersive experience. Lots of coaching, lots of women being coached by me. And the amazing part about it is, you know, ladies got to watch other women get coached. And the power of that when you’re in group coaching, is that you do see women and you think they’re so beautiful and amazing, and they’re talented and they have all these things. And then suddenly they start speaking about themselves in a way that you’re like, you don’t even, like what? Like I see you so different.

And then it, it does make you think, whoa, like what if all the things that I’ve been telling myself, those aren’t true either. It’s just these old beliefs that have just been kind of circling in my brain and they’re not true either. And it’s, it’s what’s keeping me stuck. It’s what’s keeping me sabotaging my success. It’s what’s keeping me from even starting. Ooh, thank you, Yvette.

All right Deb, coming over to you my love. I’m here for you. Introduce yourself my love. I am Deb Lowe, and I’m one of the mentors in this wonderful program. I feel like I have so many stories of this program. I could spend up my whole hour just talking about everything, but I actually joined in June of 2019. And then my husband went through a life-saving major surgery. And it was one of those things where, when you were telling me these stories about like, you know, here’s the things you need to do. Here’s, you know, all the different tools you offer. And I thought, I don’t know if I can do this. I just don’t know if this is going to be possible for me, but I’m going to try, because I have always trusted you and respected you.

And I thought she is going to lead me down the right path. I’m going to try this. And you know, when my husband had to go into the hospital and have the surgery, if I hadn’t started with you, you know, I could see myself just eating everything through my, through that time, through the surgery, through the recovery, months of recovery, like I could just see this, just eating my way through the whole thing. And not only that with you, it was the whole, just the way you open up, like made me see things differently. Like I, I mean, Shannan, you’ve known me for years.

I have guidebooks on everybody and rules on what people should be doing. And, you know, I’m a control issue and I’m going to control everybody and what they should do and how they should show up and how they should act. And, you know, right down to like my relationship with my mother and my expectations for her and everything. And so not only have I lost 35 pounds and still going, but it’s my relationships that have changed drastically, like a relationship with my mother that I wouldn’t have had two years ago, being able to go visit her this year and spend time with her and listen to her and realize like, just show her love and not expect anything else, and anything she said, that’s fine. The words are fine. They’re just words.

It’s just the whole process and the tools. And every time you might think, oh, I’m not losing fast enough, which is just a relative term, right? Because what’s really fast. It’s my own journey. But at the same time, really being able to at any obstacle, being able to deal with my thoughts and just understand like, the first time I’ll remember this too, you told me your thoughts drive your action. And I thought my head was going to explode because I thought that can’t really be true. That can’t be true. Like I have to control everybody. My thoughts are my thoughts and I’m going to force them on you and whatever. And when you told me the thoughts and the feelings and the actions and that’s what’s driving me to like my thought. And if I can change my thought or even find a neutral thought that I can live with and then drive that action. I mean, when you put that into practice, you realize how powerful that truly is in your daily life to everything, not just food, but you know, with my husband, right?

 Same thing, another story, you and I had a coaching session. And I was like, oh my God, he’s driving me crazy. He’s talk, talk, talk, talk. And I just want some peace and quiet. And he said, well, what if you just sat back and thought what a wonderful wife I am sitting here listening to his stories. And I thought, yes, I can do that. What a wonderful wife I am. You’re right. I am a wonderful wife. I’m going to sit back and listen to him, chit chat. And you know what, I can’t tell you how many times, like, it’s just so easy now, right? Like sometimes where I’m like, I want some alone time or whatever.

And he starts talking and I’m like, you know what? I love this man. I’m going to sit back and listen to thim chat. I’m a wonderful person for doing this. Look at me. Before I would’ve just been like, he’s not following the guide book I gave him, why is he not, he should be on step 57. And he’s not like, what is the problem with this? And the agitation that I used to get from that would just, just blow my mind. And now it’s like, I’m so much more calm because those things like that just don’t bother me anymore. Like you have just shown me just a whole new way of life that, you know, honestly, I mean, I could be a little mad that you weren’t started this years and years ago. I am very, very grateful that you started this when you did and I became part of this program because it was one of the best decisions I ever made. So thank you.

No, Deb, thank you. I, for sure help women lose weight. But I think the, the real core of all of this is learning how to one, become aware of all of your thoughts and beliefs, and then two, learning how to slowly over time, change them and to believe new things about yourself. And then the by-product of that is when you start to fall in love with yourself, when you start to really understand that the only human that you control is you. Trust me.

If I can figure out how to control the other humans, I really would tell you, but I haven’t figured out a way yet. And you really then start to actually have better relationships, and the people in your lives, they don’t change, but you, and the way that you think and the way that you see them and the evidence that you have for them, it starts to change. And it is just a really beautiful process. You know, Deb started at the beginning of this, when Deb first came to me, I would say, I mean, she was really nice right now, but she didn’t believe anything I was saying. She’s like, I don’t buy anything that you’re selling. And I, you know, she just really thought. The crazy part is, Deb just kept showing up. She just kept showing up, even though she didn’t totally believe it. And she totally didn’t buy it. She was like, okay, I am going to trust you. And she just kept doing it. And she’s just, she’s a, has had amazing, amazing results. Thank you, Deb.

Dana, Dana. Hello. My love, introduce yourself. Okay. Well, I am Dana and I am a wife and a mom and a grandma. Although my grandkids call me Lala and I’ve been on the diet roller coaster for at least 30 plus years, trying, you know, any diet that came along, some of them more than once when it didn’t work, you know, after I tried it initially, I just never stuck with any of them. It was always, you know, some kind of plan or a diet, you know, with the exercise program. I just, I couldn’t do it. If I didn’t do it every day perfectly, I gave up on it and gave up on myself as well.

And so last July, I was just scrolling through Facebook and I was actually actively looking for another plan. Cause the one that I just bought and hid it my nightstand didn’t work. I came across you guys and did a five day challenge. I joined, I’m down 34 pounds now, since last year. You telling us about our thoughts and we’re in control of our thoughts. And just because we have a thought, it doesn’t make it true. And I was like, what in the world? This could not be correct. This could not be correct. That we could, all along we’ve had the power to do something about changing our thoughts, but we didn’t know any better. You know what I mean? It’s life-changing is what it is.

I mean, the cherry on top is that you lose weight, but oh my God, like the stuff that I’ve been learning about myself and my thoughts and, and I’m like Deb, I have a manual for everybody as well. Shannan, you know, we’ve talked about my husband a couple of times, Maybe a couple, I’ve just changed my thoughts around my family. I’m just like so much more open to love them. You know, whatever they want to do. That’s up to them. I just show up and love them. That’s what I do. That’s my journey so far. I mean, I’m losing weight, but I’m learning a ton about myself. I’m just, I’m so honored to be a part of this program.

At first, when I joined, I thought, oh, no way. I’m not going in little groups, I’m not talking to anybody, not getting coached. I’m not doing any of it. No way. And then I thought what have I got to lose and the girls are all so friendly and welcoming, and they just talk to you like sisters, like you’re in a room full of friends and you just sit and you just start talking.

And before you know it, you’re sharing stuff about yourself and they’re helping you along with questions, anything that you need. And it’s just like a sisterhood. I mean, it’s, it’s just been so wonderful. I just, I love it. Yeah. And you know, Dana and with all the ladies, I mean, we love you ladies too.

And Dana, as you were talking and you know, you said at first I don’t want to do any of it. Right? Because we have these fears, right. This fear of, you know, what if I’m uncomfortable and what, you know, especially when you’re first being coached and you know, it’s like, oh, I’m being coached in front of others.

There is some fear around it. I think all of us, including myself, I’ve been coached in group settings. You know, I would say the first time, maybe even the first two times, it’s a little nerve wracking, but then you just decide that what you’re learning, the growth, the breakthroughs that you’re having, you would do it all day every day.

And then you’re like, okay, I’m going to get coached. I’m going to show up. I’m going to start doing things. These little steps at a time. Dana, I want to ask you a question. Cause it’s in my head right now. You know, I do teach the realistic plan. And I just remember this one time. This was, I mean, I don’t know, it was a long time ago. You posted, I can’t believe I get to eat whatever it is I want to eat. So tell the listeners about that. It’s true. I have no shame on my realistic plan. In fact, Kelly Anderson just asked me the other day, Kelly, she goes Dana, really, did you eat chili fries for breakfast? I’m like, no, no, no, really. I didn’t eat chili fries for breakfast. We were at the zoo and I accidentally skipped my, my L for lunch. They were really with my lunch, but seriously, you told us, look, be realistic, whatever you eat, put it down on your plan.

You don’t have to say like, you know, one day I went from eating pizza and then the next day I’m eating chicken and salad. That that is not me. That is not me. So I really, I have been eating what I normally eat. I’ve had pizza. I’ve had birthday parties so I’ve had birthday cake. I just put it on my plan.

And when I’m at those functions, my mind is not racing. I’m not thinking, oh my God, I really want this. Or I really want it. I put it on my plan. There’s no drama. I’ve had graduation parties this summer. I’ve had a Memorial. I’ve had like little events and I have not faltered on my plan one time, because I just wrote down what I was going to eat that day. And there was just no drama around it. And I’ve had a cupcake and I’ve had a cookie at the graduation party. And it’s just so freeing to just say, I’m going to trust myself. I’m putting this down on my plan.

And if I, you know, go off my plan one day, if I eat something that’s not in my plan. I just write down why, what it was. And I move on about it. You know what I mean? I don’t beat myself up and that has been like, that is mind blowing as well that you, you know, just because you’ve made one mistake, you don’t have to throw out the baby with the bath water.

You can stay, you can get right back on track. You know? And I think that was always an issue before too where if I didn’t do something a hundred percent, then I just gave up the whole thing, you know? So that’s it. I eat, I eat real food. I eat what I like, and, and I’m in there putting it in my accountability group in Mighty Networks. And I’m like, here’s what I had ladies. I love it, Dana. I love it because this is it. Ladies diets don’t work because 99% of the population, we can’t live on just protein and veggies. Like we, we want different foods. We want carbs. We want to enjoy a cupcake. We want to enjoy pizza on a Friday night with our families.

You have to lose weight in a way, in the way that you live, in the way that you know, you don’t have to make separate meals from your family. You don’t have to, you know, bring a little packed box with your special food because you can’t eat what everyone else is eating. That’s not how you live. I’ve done that. Oh my gosh, I have done that. And now that I just was saying that I was like, oh my gosh, I totally have where I brought my own little thing because I was on some, you know, diet. And you know, I was so scared that there were just going to be something at the thing that my mom was hosting that I couldn’t eat. You just don’t have to do that because you can’t, you can’t do that. You can’t live that way. And then what happens is you just gain it back. We’ve all done it over and over and over again.

Sharon, my love. Thank you Dana. Sharon introduce yourself. Hi ladies. I’m Sharon. I’m one of the mentors with Transform. I have been with Transform, going on two years. How I discovered Shannan, I was scrolling through Facebook. I had been up and down on the diet roller coaster for at least 40 years. I was this chunky kid who always tried to fit in, was tormented, teased. So I made my whole life around pleasing others, hoping they would like me because I had this extra weight.

It didn’t matter how much I did or how much I pleased anybody else I didn’t please me. So I covered up my feelings with food. I always went right back to that, you know, bag of chips or bag of cookies. So when I discovered Transform, I was at my lowest low. I was like, I had done all the diets.

I’m like, I’m done. So I sat in on one of Shannan’s lives and I said, Hmm, this is different. I’m going to take a leap of faith. And in the beginning, I’m like this isn’t going to work. There’s that way. And then once I started really listening and started writing my realistic plan and digging into the tools, I realized this, this can work. This is, I’m not restricted on foods. I don’t have to follow a certain plan. And I’m in a community of beautiful, amazing women who love and support me no matter what, no matter what I look like, no matter how much weight I have on my body, how much I’ve lost, how quickly I’ve lost it.

I’m just awestruck. Shannan mentioned the Unstoppable Live, and funny thing was, is that I had bought these frosted animal crackers and I loved them. And I used to eat the whole bag. And when I had bought the, and my boyfriend, Tom was eating them and I’m thinking, oh, I’m just gonna have a few, a thought, come in to my mind. That’s okay. You have a few, you know, when you eat that, you’re not going to eat just a few. You’re going to put all the weight back on. And I was like, no, no, no. So I was like, oh, okay. Okay. So I come on and Shannan coached me through it.

And the next day I put the animal crackers on my plan. I ate a few of them and I’m like, Hmm, I don’t like them. They didn’t. The initial first taste was like, oh, they’re okay. They’re nothing to write home about. Now my new thought is food does not control me. I control me. I love that thought. Yeah, because for so long, it’s like, I was always like the little engine that could, I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. Now I know I can. I have lost 126 pounds and I’ve kept it all since October of 2020. Wow. That’s awesome Sharon. I love that. I love to hear the second part because the last time I talked to Sharon,

I was coaching her about these animal crackers. You ladies know we’ve all had them, the little circus, animal pink and white crackers. And one of the things that, one of the tools that  I teach in Transform is about how to kind of really slow down and pay attention. You know, ladies, we always say we love food, but yet, most of the times when we’re not even paying attention to what we’re eating, we’re not even enjoying it. We’re not even tasting what it tastes like. We’re just kind of engulfing it while we’re sitting in the car, driving our kids to practice or work, on the way to work. Or we’re standing at the kitchen counter while we’re on our phones. We’re not even paying attention.

And so part of the process is just slowing down, coming into awareness and seeing if you really like it. And there have been foods that even myself that I’ve encountered that I thought were so good. And then as soon as I slowed down, I was like, okay, that’s not really that good. And I kind of challenged Sharon. I was like, just slow down and tell me what you think about those animal crackers. Because you know, sometimes we, when we really taste something, we’re like, yeah, that doesn’t taste that good, actually. So Sharon, I’m glad that you did that.

So I want to talk about ladies or ladies out there. And just so you ladies know, I’m going to ask all the ladies at the very end to share one tip that has really helped them lose weight. All these ladies have lost weight, but as you kind of heard through their stories, weight loss really has been kind of, we have this motto in Transform the cherry on top, because we have experienced diet culture, diet trauma, we have this fear of starting something new. We have this fear of failure. And what, how that shows up is we tell ourselves we don’t have time.

This isn’t the right time. I don’t have time for myself. I’m barely getting by. And so I want to ask you ladies, because you know, you, ladies lead very busy lives. You work, you do volunteer, you do all sorts of things. You have families, all sorts of things. And so I want to ask you about the time and what you would tell a lady who is saying, it’s not the right time, or this is just, I’m too busy for this. So Deb, I’m going to start with you. What advice would you give to a lady who is just like, I’m struggling right now with time, and my life is so busy and I’m underwater, what would you say? You are a corporate director and you lead a very busy life and you have a side gig. You’re a mentor and you help ladies and all the things. So Deb, come talk to us.

Yeah, I would say, I think the biggest thing for me is one of the things you had said to me before was is feeling that in your body about when you’re hungry. And I was spending a lot of time eating and I didn’t realize how much time I was spending eating that I actually, now that I don’t eat, like every time I go downstairs or every time, like, I don’t know, like I breathe, right. There’s, I can now actually I have more time because I’m planning, there’s no drama. I’m not standing in the middle of the kitchen, just doing circles between the pantry and the refrigerator and the cabinets and going, what am I going to eat? What am I going to eat now? And spending all this time that I actually have more time. I freed up time. And not only that, it’s the mind drama in my head because in the, like I do my plan in the morning and I plan what I’m going to eat that day. And so there’s no drama around anything.

There’s no, again, standing around like I do my meal, like I do meal planning on Sunday, just so I have a board in the kitchen and we can see like, what nights I have Transform and what are all the other things going on in our lives and then what we’re going to have for dinner. And so that way, like I can do the grocery shopping and everything’s super easy and we don’t stand there going, well, I know we were going to make this for dinner, but you know what, why don’t we just order this instead or do this? And so not only do I save time, we’ve saved a ton of money just by not ordering food out because you start realizing that some of that food just doesn’t taste that good.

Like when you really slow down and taste it, not only does it not taste good, it feels terrible in your tummy. And so like, why eat it? Like why eat something that doesn’t make you feel good? Yeah. Yeah. No, I love that. Kelly. Thank you, Deb. What would you say about time and finding the time? Because we always say it’s never the right time, right? We’ll put it off. We’ll start tomorrow.

Yeah, for me, I think it’s been the saying that you have is this is going to be the quickest time of losing weight, it’s going to be the last time. I’ve always liked that saying. For me as far as time and kind of being on the fence. Should I do it? Should I not? So many times I’ve been on a diet and I think, I dunno if it was Yvette or Deb that said that we’re looking for somebody else outside of us to figure out the weight issue that I’m having and giving yourself the time, putting yourself first. I mean, I’m a mom, I’m a grandma. I’m a  middle child who mediates everything and everybody, and to just give yourself 10 minutes a day, this program does not, you can pick and choose. It’s like a university of your own weight loss, your own, you know, growth about how you want to show up.

We always, you know, women and especially we put ourselves last on the list. I’ll get to me, you know, running the kids around, going to appointments, helping your sisters, helping your friends. One thing to do for yourself. One call, one, you know, five minutes a day of setting up your plan. I’ve just seen so many ladies just struggle with putting themselves first in their lives. That’s wasted so much time. And just coming back into yourself, we lose ourselves because we are sending out so much energy and effort to everybody else that we’re depleted and exhausted.

And you know, it’s just a beautiful way to come back to yourself, even if it’s just five minutes a day. Mm. Yeah. I love that Kelly, because it doesn’t, you know, I really honestly just think it’s an excuse. I think it’s something that we tell ourselves, because again, we have this fear of failure. We have this fear that what if this doesn’t work?

What if I’m just always going to be heavy? What if I just, you know, I try this and then you know, it doesn’t work. And you know, ladies, I want you, if you’re listening right now to start this work today, I do. You can right now, whether Transforms open or not, if you can, you know, wherever, whenever you’re listening to this, because this work is the work of your life and you are so worth this work. You are so worth learning how to show up for yourself a little tiny step at a time. We all have busy lives. We all have, you know, huge commitments in our lives. And this is the thing that I’ve found.

The more that I have spent time on myself, the more that I have learned how to show up for myself, I actually show up better for everyone else in my life. I show up better for my family, my friends, the people I work with. And ultimately, I show up better for me. That just radiates to everyone else who’s around me. And there’s another kind of thing that I think ladies really struggle with is, you know, investing in themselves, investing, you know, money in themselves, spending money on themselves for another weight loss program. Because ladies, I bet every lady in Transform and all the ladies listening, we have spent thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars on pills, shakes, programs, you know, the surgeries, you know, all the things, we just have, DVDs, you know, booty burn. I don’t know, all the things, we have just done it.

And we have this fear of like, you know, I’ll have ladies say, well, I don’t want to tell my husband, right? Like, I’m doing this one more time. Just one more time. Right. And I think, because again, we’ve just been so traumatized by diet culture, but what I teach, what I coach isn’t diets. And so I would love Yvette, I’m going to ask you to, you know, when you decided to invest in yourself in this what like got you over the hump of investing yourself one more time. For me, it was, it was shame around it.

Like if I keep putting money in and I don’t have any results to be, that felt very shameful or that I have failed again. Right. So I didn’t want, I felt like if I try this again and I fail, like this is it, I’m done. It’s over. But over time for me really the investment, it’s not the money. It’s the time.

And being able to, you know, we talk about putting yourself first and knowing that what I have that is most valuable to me is time. And being able to commit that time here, you know, it has been so valuable because in the past, like I’m a sleeper. Like I’m just let’s just sleep, right? Like, what’s your hobby. I nap.

I’m pretty good at it. But I used to like set my alarm in the morning for the last possible minute. I could wake up and be on time. And then I would snooze a few times after that. And now for the past year, every morning I get up at 6:30 or six. I transfer my plan from the night before I do some reflection work.

I write down my weight and how much I slept. I meditate for 10 minutes. And that is so different. And it very rarely, except for maybe this morning, coming back from Phoenix Unstoppable, I slept in a little bit today, but other than like, I will bounce out of bed. I’m up and I’m doing it. I get my coffee, I have my little routine. And I love it. I love being able to take that time. And it’s just for me. And I get my head straight for the day and it’s been like, for me that’s a huge change and being more intentional about it. That’s where, you know, in terms of my commitment, my time I have the time I have the time, I just need to find it and, and make, and put it towards myself and not, you know, binge watching and like, there’s time. I just need to put the time in the right place. I can’t say I don’t have time. I do. Yeah. Yeah, we do. Right.

We do have time and we get to choose. You know, ladies, we give our control away. We give our power away. We say, we don’t have time. We don’t have the money. We don’t have the energy. We don’t have the resources. We’re not capable. I mean, we could, I could go on and on and on. And we do. And when we start to take our power back, when we start to really live in this beauty of just showing up for ourselves, we, you know, we talk about it a lot, but boy, there’s so much power. And again, it’s just these little bits of time, these little bits of time where you just almost come back home to yourself.

So Dana, I want to ask you, because you know, when you were thinking about investing in Transform and spending money in Transform, and you know, I know ladies struggle with that. They really do because we just spent, so we wasted so much money. I mean, honestly we have, and I just want to know what kind of got you over the hump with it. For me, I am like, I’m looking at my nightstand right now, Shannan, where I had my last, my last little diet plan, the metabolic diet plan. I didn’t even want to tell my husband about it. I hit it. It’s still in my nightstand. So then when I joined you guys, you know, there was the fee to join and then it was going to be a monthly fee and we just sat down and I said, look, I really feel like this is the last thing. I, I just really want to try this. I think it could be different. And my husband said, go for it. Like if you feel that strongly about it, just go ahead and do it. He goes, look, you know, let’s take a chance. You know, that’s what I did.

I just, I took a chance. I saw you guys. I did the challenge and I thought I’m going to spend the money. I’m just, I’m going to do it. I’ve spent money from every other diet plan. Like you’ve said hundreds, hundreds of dollars to join, you know, money every week going for my little session, all the little foods and stuff that they want you to drink and, you know, buy from them. And I thought, I’m just going to do this. I’m going to do it and invest in myself. And honestly, by now, you know, the other plans I’d already fallen back off track, you know, like months in, you know, here I am a year later, I’m honestly like every, like I weigh myself every day.

I’m still like at my 34 pound loss. I’m like, this is like, I don’t mind investing in myself because I see that it’s working, changing my thoughts. I’m, you know, I have this community that supports me. So to me, that initial, just going in and going for it was, was all I did. And I took a chance on you. And I’m just so happy that you were it. You were what helped. Ooh. How lucky am I? How lucky are we Dana? I’m so happy. I tell you ladies, I’m so happy that you took a chance on me to be honest and trusted me in your journey. I take that really seriously. And you know, I love you ladies.

And I think about you and I want the best for you. And I know how difficult it is to invest your time, your resources, your energy, your emotional energy into something. And you know, you ladies just keep showing up over and over and over again. And it is truly amazing to watch.  Sharon when you were very first started ,I remember, you know, I always tell ladies, I always remember the first email Sharon wrote me because she sent me this picture of this beautiful picture of herself. And you know, it was her, it’s her before picture now, it was her starting picture when she joined Transform. And you know, Sharon, when you decided that you were going to invest in yourself, time and money, what kind of helped you make that decision? It made me feel like a human being. You actually made me feel like a person that mattered.  For so long, treading along with all the different diet plans, all that you all you were was this number or you know, or whatever money you could give them. You never, you didn’t bond with anybody.

You had no friendship, no love, no anything. It was like auto-pilot and you just plodded along and you were on your own. It was so lonely, and discovering you, you made me feel loved. I hadn’t felt that from anybody in a weight loss program forever. Discovering all these beautiful ladies and, and your team, your family, who they’re just amazing. They’re all just amazing, amazing people. What I would tell the ladies, it’s like ask yourself when is the right time? Because if you put that off, like I did for so long, you’re just going to keep plodding along and you’re not going to be happy. You’re spending all your life trying to make others happy and show yourself some love.

Show yourself some love. That’s what I find that with this program, all the ladies love me and I love them. And I show myself love. I have learned to love myself again. And I’ve found my smile again. Yes, you did my love. Yes you did. Oh, you know, you said something. It made me, I, I felt a lot of emotion when you said it, that you matter. Ladies, we have just put ourselves like on these back burners where we think we don’t matter. We just are moseying along in these autopilot modes and, you know, Sharon said it, pleasing everyone else, doing all the things, feeling so much pain and frustration and shame, and, you know, regret, regret that, you know, we didn’t do this or we didn’t do that or how, you know, all the things.

And I just want to say that you matter, and that you’re worthy and that, you know, you are loved. And it does really start with learning how to show up and learning how to take baby steps towards loving yourself. So, ladies, I want to go around, I want to ask each one of you if you could share one piece of advice, a tip, a tool, any inspiration that you would like to leave all of these ladies who are listening to you today.

So I want to start with Kelly. I think for me, the biggest tip or tool would be to drop the perfectionism for yourself. And you know, everybody’s always said that to me, oh, don’t put, you know, so much expectation on yourself, but it’s showing up for yourself in this program to release that fear, fear that I’m not going to be perfect, fear that they’re not going to accept me, fear that this program is not going to work for me. And every time that I’ve pushed through my fear in this program and challenged myself, it’s a way to all of my hopes and dreams. I mean, I was on autopilot. I was stagnating. I had no dreams and aspirations. I was just waiting to retire. So just drop the perfectionistic hat and just, you know, put yourself first and show up. It’s, it’s one of those things where if you show yourself that love, that attention, then you’ll be able to, you know, really like, like we said, in our, in our big conference, you know, we’re unstoppable. You can do whatever you want, be in the body that you love and just be your authentic self.

Yeah. Ooh. I love it. I have to say Kelly. I was watching a video today that I had taken of you. Actually, it was the sweetest video because it was when Laurie was getting her photo shoot during Unstoppable Live and you were dancing, Yvette was laughing. And I just looked at both of you like these two women, right in this moment, it feels so beautiful. And what a difference this work and how transformative this work is. Oh, so good.

Okay. Yvette one tip tool. Thank you, Kelly. It’s, it’s funny that you mentioned the photo shoots because Shannan, I was with you a couple of years ago at a different event, and everyone was like getting pictures with you. And I disappeared. I wanted no record that I was at the event because to me that was just that I’m not going to lose. And people are like, well, you were there. Why? Right. So I stayed, I flew under the radar. Last week when we were together, I thought I was on America’s next top model. I’m quite, I’m quite certain, but I was just, I was ready and it, and I was okay with just having fun and just be in the moment. And that was very different for me. And these tools that you teach, you know, I feel like there’s many times when I have been present in places where in the past I would not, I would be there, but I was not present. You know, my, my bonus daughter got married recently and you helped me really think about what did I want to feel in that moment?

And where did I, you know, how did I want to show up for myself and for her? And it was such a beautiful event. I didn’t think, I didn’t think about myself. I wasn’t worried about, oh, do I look like I have weight to lose? That’s okay. But I’m still beautiful. And I’m here in this moment and I’m enjoying it. You know, one of the things that has really stuck with me in this work is working on shame and feeling like there are things that my story that I should feel shame around and I don’t, I don’t anymore. I see it differently. And, and having shame, you know, around a lot of things, but having shame around weight, you know, you try to fly under the radar. You don’t, I don’t want people looking at me or knowing that I’m struggling when clearly I’m carrying extra weight. And, you know, in the last couple of months, I have been very vocal and honest about the work that I’m doing, sharing it in forums with a lot of people.

And I’m okay with that. I am proud of where, where I’m at, and I’m proud of the work that I’m doing. And I’m proud to share that with others, because maybe they can benefit from it too. One of the things that you said to me that has stuck with me is you’re not going to play small with me, right? You tell me you’re not doing that. We’re not playing small. And that thought has helped me to look to my future and what could I do? Where could I be? And that’s not something that, you know, in the past I would’ve done. So I think the most important thing to lean in for me has been the mindset work and the other things will come. The weight loss will come. When I focus on my thoughts and creating, you know, my future and creating where I want to be, and what I want to do with this big, beautiful life has, has changed everything. So thank you. Oh, I mean puddles. I just, you now, ladies, if you are listening, I just, you are getting such gifts today with these five beautiful women.

The transformation that they’ve gone through, what they continue to do, their future selves. I can’t even imagine. I can imagine actually what they are going to give this world because of the work that they’re doing on themselves and how all of them help and serve other women. And they are just such inspirations. Oh, thank you, Yvette.

Deb. My love. I, You know for me, ever since I was a little kid, I struggled with my weight and for somebody who, I mean, I could probably be a power eater. Like I could eat, eat, eat, and that, you know, I’ve been up and down, like, you know, sort of the weight dial, if you will. And all the weights, right. From zero, probably from size zero to upwards of 16, but really probably should have been wearing 18 and have been up and down that, and, you know, really realizing for this time, like, no matter what happens in my life right now, good or bad, I have the tools to live and understand how I can not eat my way out of a problem.

Because for so many years, that’s what I did. I buffered and buffered with food. And when I did lose the weight years ago, I would immediately start gaining it back again because I didn’t know, things weren’t magically solved just because I got to that weight, you know, the world just didn’t, you know, it, wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

And I didn’t know how to deal with the problems I was still faced with and the thoughts in my head. And now, no matter what happens, I know I have the tools and if I can’t bear it on my own, then I reach out to you and you tell me to stop my way out of the puddle. Right? Like, I know I have you, if I can’t stop my own way out of the puddle, that I can say a few words to you. And you’re like, oh boy, we’re getting you out of that puddle. I know exactly what to say to you. And, you know, it was like at the Unstoppable Live thing, but just a few words from you.

Like I’ve had the most amazing past couple of days of just an aha moment of not only was I buffering with food, but this buffer would noise. Right? The buffering with the audible and the podcast. And not that I don’t love all these things. I love these, but I was doing it constantly with not even that 10 minutes a day, like I was, I was even listening to guided meditations. Right. So, I mean, I wasn’t even taking 10 minutes a day for some peace and quiet and a few words from you. Like, it was just like all I needed to hear of like, oh my God, like, it’s another tool that you gave me. And didn’t even probably realize what,

how, how much it meant to me. But again, it’s those moments of no matter what, if I get stuck, I know how to get myself unstuck now, whereas before I would’ve never been able to do that. And with this program, like, honestly, it’s something that I know for the rest of my life I can live with.

I can do. And this community of beautiful women that you’ve created is unreal. It is just support. Like, you know, I think someone else mentioned it. We’ve all been to those meetings. We’ve all sat in the room. And I can’t tell you how many times I sat at the chair and looked around, nobody smiled. Everybody was miserable. And then I got up and walked out again. Nobody talked to me except to yell at me that I didn’t lose enough weight that week. Right? Like there was never any positive encouragement or reinforcement. And this community is just something just pure amazement. So thank you. You’re welcome,

Deb. Yes. We’ve all been to those meetings where we had so much shame because we know you’re just, right, before you hand your little card over and then you get ready to step out, you’re like telling the leader, like, I’m so sorry. Like, you know, I kinda overate this week and I had a birthday, so, and you’re like, and you know, of course she didn’t care. Right. She, she probably had no judgment. I’m sure. But like right there, it was just so much shame and so much like, oh, and then, you know, this community of women, you know, I’m an introvert. I really am. I’m an introvert. I think sometimes people think it’s hard to believe, but I really am. I, I get gain energy in times by myself. And, you know, even if you’re an introvert, we have plenty of them, this community, you’ll still fine, whether you’re a lurker or whether you’re very active in the community, you’ll find so much inspiration and so much support. And I am just so proud of what we’ve created in this community and so proud of each lady who contributes to it and who just, the support and love. You’re right Deb. I’ve never seen anything like it never, ever.

And I’m so, so proud of it. Okay. Dana, Dana. I like the thought I’m in control of my thoughts and how I react to them. Because honestly, I felt like, and I’ve told the ladies this, I feel like I was sitting in a room that was completely dark Shannan, it was black. You poked your little head through the door.

You’re pretty little face and turned on the light switch and said, come on, girl, I’ll show you. This is what you need to be doing. And that’s like, when you’re, when you’re in it, you just don’t know, you don’t know what’s happening. You don’t know how to get out of it. And then you come along and you say, Hey, look it here. You know, just because you have a thought, doesn’t make a true. And you’re just like, what does this mean? I mean, like, I feel like you have turned on this light and now I’m seeing things for the first time. I’m, I’m better with my relationships. I’m better with how I talk to people and how I treat myself and how, how I talk to myself. I mean, it’s just been a really life-changing experience. And I’m just doing these things that you teach us, and everything gets so much better as a result of that. Hmm. I love that. Dana. I liked the visual of me popping my head in.

Yes. I remember it through my own work, having these ahas. And I think all of us will continue over and over. As all of us are doing this work and all of us are learning and it is like the light switch keeps coming on. It just keeps coming on and it keeps getting brighter and brighter. And not only is it bright, but it’s filled with love. You know, ladies, I think all the work that you’re doing on yourself, the most important work that you’re doing is on learning how to love yourself, learning how to really, truly love that body and to stop being at war with the body, war with yourself, and really starting to talk to yourself with love and kindness like you would do for anyone else.

So good. Sharon, my love. What advice would you give for the ladies? I would say, I would tell all the ladies show up as your you, as your true self, just be you and let your light shine. Shine as bright as it can be, because you should not be like as that, the movie Dirty Dancing, Baby in the corner. No, you’re not Baby. You’re not Baby in the corner. You be out there shining doing everything you can. You’re working, you have done the hard things. You do hard things, Have a little belief in yourself and you can do it. You’re unstoppable. Women are Unstoppable. I love it, Sharon.

I love you ladies. I am so grateful and truly, all of the ladies who are listening and you know, these ladies are gifts. They’re gifts to me and gifts to the world. And each one of them have this very special journey that they’re on. And they’re women just like you, just like me. We’re just women. We all have our stories. We’ve all had these, this journey. We’ve had pain and trauma and hard times and all the things. As you go and you start one small step at a time and you start to learn this work what you realize is that all along, you’ve just been enough and all along, you’ve been worthy and all along somewhere inside of you has been that little girl, that little sweet, sweet girl, she’s been there and she’s just guiding you and she’s showing you the way. So we have this amazing, amazing experience that is coming up.

So if you’re listening to the podcast before August 27th, you want to get in, there is a five-day Transform BootCamp, and it’s the first time that I’ve ever done anything like this, where I am going to coach and teach. And it is a five-day coaching experience. You want to get in. You can go to bflycoaching.com/BC, B as in boot, C as in camp, learn all about it. And it’s just kind of a way that you can experience some of what these ladies have experienced through coaching. And I’m going to teach and coach for five days straight.

It is going to be life-changing. It is going to be amazing. And so you do not want to miss out. And so make sure that you register for that. All right my love. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.