Before, After, Before.

Have you had a “Before & After then another Before”?  The first pic was in 2006, I was hitting an all-time high. Feeling a lot of despair and looking for a solution, I had gastric-bypass surgery in late 2006. I thought that would be the answers to all my problems. I did lose weight. It did help.

2 years after the surgery, I started to gain and lose weight again. I realized even with the surgery; I could still eat whatever I wanted. I still ate sugar. I just ate all day instead of one big helping. I started a diet in 2012, that helped me to get to pic #2. But even in pic #2, I still was not happy with my weight, I still had “more to lose”. Fast-forward to 2015. My mom died. My husband’s mom died. It was a rough year. The third pic is me in Hawaii, I had gained 65 pounds back from pic #2.

I had the gastric-bypass surgery and I was still in the same place, still overweight and hating myself for it. The surgery was a short-term solution for me, not a long-term solution.

So, there I was feeling like I was drowning. I hated the way I looked and felt uncomfortable in my skin. I just became so sick and tired of the next “diet”. I just could not go back to weight watchers one more time. That is when I started to study thought management. I learned that it was never about the food, it was always about my mind. I started on a journey to reprogram my mind to not over-desire food and to love my body. I learned that there is no “when I get to my goal weight” I will do x and finally feel happy. That was always available to me. I did not have to wait for a number on a scale. I will never be pic #1 or pic #3 again. I am grateful for pic #1 & pic #3 Shannan, as she taught me so many things. But, I will never gain it back because I have the tools and the secret to it all.