Ep #156: The Scale and What the Number Really Means

Ep #156: The Scale and What the Number Really Means

In today’s episode, you will discover:

How what you think about the number on the scale keeps you from releasing weight. I will teach you in this episode 3 questions to ask yourself to start getting unstuck so you can release the weight.

If you keep telling yourself that you are not good enough and tying your worth with the number on the scale, you will keep the weight on.

Listen to this episode to start believing new things about the number on the scale.

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christensen episode number 156. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with wait for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christensen.

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. It has been just such an amazing time the last couple of weeks, since I recorded this podcast. We just celebrated my husband’s birthday, he just graduated and finished his master’s degree, and got his license to be a licensed counselor. So it has been a fun time in the Christiansen household. We also went up north for a little bit and had some relaxation and it was just gorgeous up there.

And our weather is starting to change. I know, I went for a walk today and it was like 80 degrees. I know, in Arizona, my love, that is good. Ah, it’s just been a great time. We also just packed up, the whole team came over that’s here in Arizona, and we packed up our very first TBoss book. This is a monthly book and it’s gonna have all of our Transform Boss worksheets, recipes, fun, a calendar. This is so my members of Transform Boss Weight Loss, so they can have more success.

When ladies join Transform Boss now, we send them a welcome book and it has everything that they need to get started, including the worksheets, including a plan, so they have for their first month. And then in their second month and on they’ll receive this. And then all of my ladies in Transform Boss Weight Loss, they’re gonna receive their first book, and we are so excited. And we even have a cover boss. Oh yes my love. I feel like we produced a full magazine. It is awesome. And we have a cover boss and then we have the boss babes. So it’s such a fun way to highlight my members and their success. I know, ladies you gotta come in. Transform Boss Weight Loss. We’re opening in October, mark your calendars. I know a lot of you’ve been waiting.

So in our 150th episode, we had a contest for ladies, and the contest was if you left a review and rated the show and then emailed our support email box with the review, we would put you into a drawing, and drum roll. The winner is Cynthia Joncas. Woo woo. And I’m gonna be sending her a box chocked full of my favorite things. Woo. It’s gonna be an amazing box ladies,  it really is. I’m gonna put so much fun stuff that I love. Plus I’m gonna put some Transform Boss stuff in there. Ah, Cynthia’s gonna love it. So I wanna thank Cynthia for rating and reviewing the show and to all of the ladies who rate and review the show. I really appreciate it. When you leave a review, it helps our show reach other ladies so they can also listen to the show and learn this amazing work.

So let’s talk about the scale. I have been doing a series in Transform Boss called Healing You, and I’m taking my bosses through the healing process so they can heal their relationship with food and themselves so they can release the weight for good. The first step in the healing process is awareness. And this challenge, these thoughts, these old beliefs, these old records around the scale and what we make it mean, the number, it comes up a lot. I wanna take you back to when I was younger. So when I was younger, for many, many years, my magic number was 120 pounds.

I heard lots of stories, lots of people, women and men talk about weighing 120 pounds or less, even in movies and magazines. It was just this number that I had created a story in my mind about. If I just weighed that number, then everything would be good. I would create vision boards with that number on it. Pictures of models who I thought weighed 120 pounds or less. You know, I just again thought that if I weighed that number, if I got to that weight, that everything would be amazing. And what I really interpreted that to be was that if I was a smaller weight, that weight, I’d be able to find love. I’d be acceptable, worthy.

As I went through my adult life, I never weigh 120 pounds. It was a fictional number that I was socialized to believe that I should weigh. We all have this number, this fictional number. Maybe it was a weight that you weighed when you were younger or some number that you were socialized to believe is what you should weigh. When we think we should be different than we are, we then think we are not enough. Not worthy. Take that in. Every time you think you should weigh less there is another thought, another feeling of unworthiness inadequacy, or not enough. It’s important to be aware of what you make that number mean, what you make how much weight you have on your body mean. Maybe you looked at some weight chart or BMI scale, and you’ve been made to believe that you’re not good enough.

Maybe someone told you that your weight needs to be lower. But I wanna give you your power back. You get to decide what you want to think and what you want to weight. You get to heal from the pressure of feeling not enough because of some external number. The number on the scale, your worthiness, your enoughness has nothing to do with that number.

And this is why it’s so crucial to losing your weight for the very last time. If you keep resisting the number, you keep telling yourself it’s not good enough, the number that it is today, right? You keep telling yourself it’s not good enough. Are you ready for the mic drop? Then it will never be good enough, no matter what you weigh. Or you’ll be so scared that you’ll lose all your excuses of living your best life that you sabotage your weight loss and keep the weight on. See you have this thought, when you lose the weight you’re gonna do all these things. You’re gonna be a different person. But that thought, that belief actually keeps you from releasing the weight. Because you are fearful of the loss of yourself, of who you are now.

You may think that you’re overweight because you eat too much or you love food, but you’re carrying extra weight because you’re fearful of what you will lose when you release the weight. This fear keeps you stuck and sabotaging your success. This number on the scale, it’s just data. It’s just a number. It does not mean anything until you make it mean something about yourself. Get on the scale, don’t get on the scale, but release the expectation of what you should weigh and start doing the work to reconnect to your mind and body.

Because my love, that is where the real work and transformation lies. The scale is just BS. It keeps you thought looping and playing in the puddle. You must learn to think differently now, to love yourself and your life now. You will not become a different person because you’ve lost your weight. It just doesn’t happen. You will just be you with all your thoughts and old beliefs in a smaller body.

So number one, what are your thoughts around what you should weigh? What is that number? Number two, how is it keeping you stuck and actually keeping the weight on? Number three, how could you love the number that you weigh today? How could you start to think differently about it so you can disconnect your worth from it? The number on the scale does not mean that you are good or bad. It’s just a number. When you start to disconnect from that number and you start doing the work of healing, the work of loving yourself, oh my love, everything starts to change. Because love, you are worthy. You are enough, you are lovable today, and you always have been, no matter what that scale says.

Mark your calendar my love, because our Finish Strong free challenge starts on October 17th. This will be the last challenge of the year. And in this challenge, you will learn the basics of weight loss and how to implement them. This week-long event is gonna be filled with fun, some tears for sure, love, and support. More information coming soon. In the meantime, if you’ve not taken my free course, go to freebosscourse.com. Ooh. So good. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

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Ep #155: Weight Loss Q&A Part 2

Ep #155: Weight Loss Q&A Part 2

This is the second part of our two-part series of your weight loss questions and answers with me and Coach Jenn. If you missed the first part, you will want to go back and listen. 

We will be diving deep in this episode into topics like movement, minimum baselines, and how eating what you currently eat now can lead to weight loss.

Yes, you heard me correctly. You do not have to give anything up to lose weight.

Movement is not the same as exercise. We will explain the difference and why movement is so important.

Our minds always like to make things more complicated. But to lose weight for the last time just takes simple little things.

And please leave us a review so we can reach more women to help them to learn to lose weight for good.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How movement is very different from exercise and why it is important
  • What a minimum baseline is and how to use it
  • How meeting yourself where you are at now will lead to your weight loss success

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 155. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So excited to be here. 155 episodes. It just sounds amazing. 155 weeks I’ve shown up, and many of you have too. I love it. Oh, so today is the second in our two-part series on just general questions that we get a good bit through Transform Boss Weight Loss, through our public challenges, or even the free course. Ladies email our support box. Coach Jenn is here with me. Coach Jenn is one of the coaches in Transform Boss Weight Loss. You know, we love coach Jenn, and we’re just going to get to it, we’re going to ask the questions. You ready, Jen? I’m Ready. All right. Give it to me.

 

Alright. Restriction. What if I am restricted and I can’t do movement or exercise, will I ever lose the weight? Ooh, this is a good one. You know ladies, we tie movement into exercise, biggest loser, right? Like I’ve got to exercise or I’m never going to lose weight. I have a lot of thoughts on it. And one of them is, even if you’re restricted in your movement, whatever parts you can move, you know, you can move, right. Maybe it’s your arms. Maybe it’s just, you know, getting up and walking around, maybe it’s just your house. Right? And, but this is more important than any of that. When ladies first come to me, my suggestion, if they don’t already have a movement practice is not to.

 

Because we’ve had all of these old exercise beliefs, and I have to exercise 30 minutes or an hour a day, or I won’t lose weight. I have plenty of ladies who have lost weight who do not have movement or exercise routines. And they do it through reconnecting with their body. When you start to eat food and fuel your body and you eat less than what your body requires for fuel, you start to lose weight. You know my loves, it’s just another thing I think that we just thought loop about. It’s just another reason why, okay, I’m restricted in movement so I can’t lose weight. And so then I feel bad, right? It’s just the old thought cycle my friends.

 

You feel bad. And then when you feel bad, you overeat. Changing that thought to, even though I’m restricted in movement, I’m going to pay attention to my body and I’m going to eat when I’m physically hungry and I’m going to make my realistic plan and I got this. And then you feel differently. And then that’s when you want to do those things. But if you feel like you need to do something and you can’t because of a physical constraint that you have, it just makes you feel bad. And then you just want to eat all the things.

 

So movement, I have a podcast on movement. We’ll put it in the show notes, but our bodies like to move. Like even as I’m sitting here, I like to move, my body likes to move. That could mean just moving my hands, moving my shoulders, moving my feet. That is movement. And your body likes to move, right? If you think about folks who go into the hospitals and they can’t move, or they become paralyzed and you know, their bodies atrophy, their muscles atrophy. We were made to move. It is a body basic. We are, you know, just like breath, just like water, just like sleep, our bodies are meant to move. And movement is not a bootcamp where a personal trainers beat you down. Movement is as simple as just, you know, walking from the bathroom to the kitchen.

 

We over-complicate this. I do like crazy things. I like carrying groceries. And then I’ll do a couple like arm lifts with my grocery bags. Right. I park a little farther away. Again, ladies, I just don’t make this complicated. And I love to walk because walking is so good, but I do that for my mind and my body. But there are days where I’ll go out for a 10-minute walk. Some days, you know, 20, I don’t even put time constraints on my walks. I don’t think, Ooh, I got to get in my 30 minutes. Because this is what happens. You think that, and then you’re like, oh, well I did my exercise so I can have an extra cupcake. Oh, you see how our brains are. It’s just so trickery. It’s such trickery, because then you’re like, oh, well I worked out so now I can eat more. I’m more hungry, Shannan. It’s all trickery ladies.

 

Your bodies love to move. Do not like confuse the two and put the two together, weight loss and movement. Because when you do, it just really, it can derail you. So if you have limited movement, move what you can, and then, you know, follow the basics, take my free course and I’ll teach you the basics. What do you think Jenn? I have a lot of thoughts on this too. So I’m going to try to condense it. But even just today on the drive home, I went to an assembly at my kids school today and I was blasting my music and just dancing around.

 

Ladies, I’m telling you, like, I used to have these thoughts, but right. Bootcamp style, if I didn’t sweat, it didn’t count. And I had to just basically suffer through my movement, my exercise to make it mean anything. And through this work, I really, actually when I started this work I stopped exercising. I was doing it every day, at least five days a week. And I stopped because I had to change my mindset around it. And then I’ve slowly added it back in. You know, whether you have full range of movement or you don’t, I think it goes back to our thoughts around it, because when we have that perfection come in and when we’re not doing it right or enough, and we’re not seeing that scale go down, it means, you know, we need to work harder and that’s not just, that’s just not the truth.

 

As you begin to add movement in and you find different ways to do movement, even if that is just walking, like Shannan said, from your kitchen to your bathroom or whatever it is, you’ll be able to feel good in your body and find joy through your movement and not look at it as a punishment. Yeah. Or think, you know, I have to like move to lose weight. It’s just, it’s really a falsehood actually. It’s not the truth. To really lose weight just through exercise, not, you know, through what you fuel yourself with, you would have to do it like Biggest Loser style where you’d like have to work out for eight hours a day.

 

I don’t know who can do that, but I don’t think anyone can. And so it’s just this false belief. Food and how you fuel your body and how you feel hunger and fullness has more relation to how you carry weight than movement. And movement is just good for your body. Your body needs it. Your body needs to move. Your body, all the parts of it. And if you don’t, your body just doesn’t feel as good. It doesn’t move as well. And so again, simple things like, you know, walking around your house, loading in the groceries, right? Just little things, dancing around. Ooh, I love to dance. Oh my gosh Jenn, when you said that, I was like, yes. Right. Dancing is so fun. Like have fun with it ladies. Grab your partner and just dance around the house. You know, grab your grandbaby or you’re a little kid and just jump. If you can’t jump, maybe you’re sitting on the couch dancing, right. Maybe you’re sitting in your chair, moving your shoulders and moving your hands. So good. I love it.

 

All right. What is a minimum baseline and how do you use it? Oh, I love minimum baselines. This is a tool that we teach in Transform Boss Weight Loss. And it really goes with perfectionism, because we think we need to be perfect. We think I have to be perfect. I have to do all the things. So when I think about, you know, all the diets I’ve been on, I would, you know, get the plan, do the thing. And then I’d be like, okay, now this is all the things I needed to do. And I have to do it perfectly. I have to do it seven out of seven days. And so what would happen is if I did it six out of seven days or five out of seven days, I would feel like a failure. And when you start feeling like you’re failing, then you know, you start feeling overwhelmed. You start feeling disappointed. Then you have all these other thoughts. I can’t do this. I’m going to fail. And then you slowly start quitting.

 

Minimum baselines is so that you can start to see success. Because your brain’s not wired to see your success, only your failures mostly, right. Lizzy loves to tell you what you should be doing and what’s wrong. And so when you put in a minimum baseline, you can start to see success. Now how you do it is simply, let’s just say you use the realistic plan, which is one of our basics. You just say, I’m going to make my realistic plan three out of seven days, and when I do that, I will feel success.

 

Then you make your realistic plan three out of seven days. I tell you it’s so important to release this idea that you have to be perfect. Losing weight for the last time, it takes time. One, two, there are lots of challenges, lots of failures, lots of learning, lots of healing along the way. So you just have to give yourself a good amount of grace and love. What do you think, Jenn? I love minimum baselines. You know, I don’t know if you hear the trend, but I have some perfectionists in me and slowly twiddling away at her, but this is just such a great tool to help you feel success without having to do it all the time and avoiding setting yourself up for failure, right?

 

The failure of the beat downs and things like that. So I love minimum baselines. These can be used for anything ladies. They don’t have to just be used around weight loss. I use this for things around my house, for how many times I’m going to walk the dogs. Right? All of the things. Just setting, you know, amount of days of the week that you want to do it and then sticking to it. And when you do it, say three out of the seven days you celebrate that, right? You don’t say, oh, I guess I only did it three of the seven. That’s fine. No celebrate that. Let it be there for a while, a couple of weeks a month. And then that’s when you can Uplevel to four days a week. Right?

 

Another tip that I would give with this is I believe it was Jon Acuff, Shannan correct me if I’m wrong, but whatever you want to set it at, maybe cut it in half, because we want to start with those seven days. So, you know, a lot of your brains are going to want to go, okay, I’ll do five or six, but it’s still not realistic for you. So cut it down to the two or three days and start there. And then you can, after a week or two, evaluate it and see if you need to increase it or decrease it, but just don’t expect too much from yourself from the get go, right. Start small. That’s how you’re going to have that success.

 

Yeah. I love that. I love that idea. I think it was Jon Acuff with the cut it in half, take your goal and kind of halve too Jenn. And it’s so important because our brains just want us to be perfect. I don’t know what perfect is. Honestly. I mean, I don’t know what you know, is it seven out of seven? I’m not sure because it’s unrealistic. So then you’re just going to quit. My idea of perfection and yours is probably different. So I don’t think there’s a perfection meter out there that I know about. So I’d say just set your minimum baseline.

 

And I love too doing it for other things. Even myself, you know, I struggle with this. I think many women do, and I’m always like wanting to go above, right? I’m like, Ooh, if I could just get all of this done, I would feel better. If I could just be perfect, I would feel better. But it’s not the truth because you can feel better right now. You just have to think a thought that gives you a feeling that is positive.

 

So if you think I am learning how to lose weight for the last time, I am learning how to break my perfectionistic habits, I am learning how to show up for myself, then you feel better. And you can feel better today. We always want to delay it. I need to be perfect first and then I’ll feel better. But I just like to feel good today because perfect Shannan doesn’t exist, that I know for sure.

 

Next question is, how can I eat what I’m eating now and still lose weight? I mean, you have to meet yourself where you’re at. You have to start this process by eating what you’re eating now. I find that most ladies really, they like to fight me on this a little. They want to make diet plans instead of realistic plans. They want to make it idealistic. But you have to start where you’re at. Then slowly as you’re starting to reconnect with your body, you just up-level. You just, you know, leave a bite on your plate. I love saying that because it’s so simple, right? You just leave a bite. Okay, I’ll leave a bite. And then the next week, maybe it’s a bite and a half. Then you know, a couple of weeks later, maybe you start to notice that you’re feeling full and you actually stop a little earlier than that. It’s the slow process of combining the basics that I teach. And it happens over time.

 

I promise you this, you cannot go from eating all the things or, you know, diet brain to, okay, I’m going to be perfect. Again, it goes back to that old perfectionistic brain. One, there is no perfect. And two, you just slowly up-level and you meet yourself where you’re at. Ladies don’t want to. I know, it’s diet culture. Ladies don’t believe me. They’re like, no Shannan, I’ve got to like eat less right now. It’s like, you know, you will over time, but you have to change some thoughts and beliefs. If you keep coming from a place of scarcity where you think you can’t have things, you will restrict and then you will binge, you will restrict and then you will binge restrict, and then you will overeat instead of allowing and going through the process that I teach.

 

I mean, I feel telling you ladies, I mean this, like keep on doing the restriction. It doesn’t work. If you restrict, the opposite reaction to that is overeating and binging. You have to meet yourself where you’re at, and you have to slowly up-level. Hmm, Jenn, can you tell I’m a little passionate, I’ve had to like keep it at bay because you know, diet culture, I don’t blame you ladies. All my listeners, this is diet culture. We have been, it has been ingrained in our brains that the only way to lose weight is through over-exercising and restriction. I just want to teach you a different way. It’s through allowance and love. That is the only way.

 

Yeah. Don’t ever kill your passion Shannan, it gets me fired up when you do that. Yeah. As you were talking Shannan, I started  thinking when I had started this and, and where my mindset was at, and I did, I was probably one of the ones that fought you on this. First of all, I didn’t, I didn’t want to write a realistic plan because I didn’t want to plan ahead what I was going to have to eat. And then on my plan, I was making sure I was having good foods versus bad foods, right? Because that is the only way to lose weight. What was happening was I would eat off plan and then I would overeat and I would beat myself up. And it was just this cycle.

 

And ladies, the best thing is, first of all, to know there aren’t good foods and bad foods. There are just foods. And when we can just meet ourselves where we’re at, that is where we do these slow up levels, right? Like Shannan said, leave one bite and then a bite and half, and we start to feel that success. And we start to get back in tune with our bodies and we start to just, you know, you’ll start to see those successes. Your clothes will feel a little bit different. You’ll feel a little bit more energy. You’ll have less bloat, all of these little things. Right? The best thing that I can say is trust the process. I know that is out there, but it is. You just have to know that this is a way that you can lose weight without restriction.

 

And without those old thoughts of move more and eat less, because that is just false. I know, but that is what is in our brains. Like, you know, that is it. And your brain is going to play tricks with you of, oh, you probably shouldn’t have that hamburger and fries. But what happens is you might not eat your hamburger and fries right then, but then later that night, you’re going to want something else. So just meet yourself where you’re at, give yourself the grace. And you will learn through this work that you really truly can. That is the only way to lose weight, is to eat what you’re eating now and then slowly up level. Yeah. Ooh. So good.

 

Right. I mean, we could like preach this all day because, but I do think that ladies kind of have to go through that process sometimes of just like, you know, restricting. And then they start to see that, oh, when I allow, when I start to have abundant thoughts instead of scarce thoughts that I actually lose weight. When I restrict I might lose it, but then I gained right back and a little more because I’m going through this, like not eating and then eating all the things and you know, so I think it’s just part of this process.

 

My loves, everything that I’m teaching you, even the journey that I’ve been on, I continue even myself to evolve the healing. And I think we have just been through so much trauma with diets and it just takes this really good amount of time to heal from it. We have been told that our bodies are not good enough, that we’re not good enough, that we need to restrict, that we need to be a certain size. We need to look a certain way. And we need to cut food groups, and there’s good food or bad food, or healthy food or not healthy food. And it’s just left us feeling traumatized, not knowing what to do.

 

I think this work is just a constant evolving into the next version of yourself and learning and growing without judgment and beat downs, and just becoming that next version of yourself. And ladies it’s possible. I know your brain is going to be like, I don’t want to do this work, but this is the thing my love. If you want to really lose these chains, the prison of dieting and not loving your body and all of that, then you have to go through the healing process and it takes time and kindness and support. It needs a community of women and coaching and all of the different things that Transform Boss is made up.

 

There’s a reason why I have created this because I am a woman just like you, who has failed a thousand times who keeps learning about herself, who keeps healing, who keeps failing, all of the things. And what it does at the end of the day, this process, it just helps you and me, and Jenn, and all my ladies become unstoppable. And then we realize like, oh right, there’s no perfect. I just keep showing up. I keep failing. I keep moving forward. I just continue this journey to healing and self-love. It is the best, right? So the best.

 

So Jenn, any other thoughts before we end this Q and A? Just to allow time. This is not a race, and give yourself, I’m not trying to rhyme. I just realized I am, as I’m saying this, I love it. I, you know, I love a good rhyme. Give yourself grace along the way and just remind yourself that you really do have all the answers within you. You’re actually the only one that has your answers. Shannan or myself or anyone else, we cannot tell you all of the answers of what you need. You have it internally. So trust that within yourself.

 

I love that. Ladies, we think it’s in a food plan, but it’s been in you all along. You are the hero of your story. And if you want to take this work deeper my love, go to freebosscourse.com and take my free course. And Jenn, I, you know, I love doing the podcast with you. Thank you so much. And my loves, I will talk to you next week. Bye.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #154: Weight Loss Q&A Part 1

Ep #154: Weight Loss Q&A Part 1

Ooh, we have a very special episode for you this time. Coach Jenn is joining me in this two-part series where we are going to answer some questions around losing weight.

You will learn how what I teach is very different from all the diet culture out there. No more diet trauma here.

I know most of us have been taught things like restriction, food plans, move more to lose weight. But I will show you a better way. No food plans here.

I will dive deep into topics like how to reconnect with your body, and how allowance actually leads to weight loss.

Are you ready to be reconnected with your body again?

And please leave us a review so we can reach more women to help them to learn to lose weight for good.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How meeting yourself where you are at is so important in weight loss
  • Physical hunger versus emotional hunger
  • How to listen to your hunger cues and what they mean

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 154. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So excited to be with you. Today we are going to answer the questions. You know, we get a good bit of questions and I wanted to do a couple of episodes based on all of the different questions we get around losing weight, losing it for the last time, challenges, all the things. And I asked coach Jenn from Transform Boss Weight Loss to come on and join me because you know, I just love her. And it’s so fun when she’s on. So we are going to answer all the questions today. So I’m so excited.

 

So, coach Jenn, how are you doing today? Fabulous. Are you excited? Yeah. I always love recording these with you. I know, they’re so fun. Right? Okay. So Jenn is going to ask the questions. We are just going to dive right in today. That’s how we’re doing it today. All right. First question is, are there foods that we have to have on hand, you know, along with this program, are there certain foods that we need to have on hand? You know, we get this question a lot, especially when ladies are new, especially if they’re doing something free, whether it’s the free challenges or the free course, every time we’ve started something new to lose weight, someone has said, here’s the food plan. Here’s the food plan, right? And it’s just created this expectation that to lose weight, someone needs to tell you what to eat.

 

And what I teach is so different because I will never give you a food plan. You don’t have to go out and buy any food. You don’t have to, you know, last supper it and eat all the foods and then, you know, throw away whatever you have left. You don’t have to clear out your pantry. None of that. I’m going to teach you how to lose weight enjoying the foods that you enjoy. You know, I always heard this saying  like, you need to change your lifestyle. You need to, you know, revamp everything about you. And I had this belief too. And I think when ladies first come, it’s so hard to believe that they know the answer, it’s within them. It’s inside them. And they know how to, their body knows. We don’t trust our bodies. You know, after so long, we just stopped trusting our bodies.

 

And this process that I teach women is how to reconnect with their body, how to heal from it, this, you know, diet trauma that we’ve experienced with this food plan and that food plan and cut out the carbs, you know, all the things. So ladies, when you come into Transform Boss Weight Loss, you don’t need to change your lifestyle. You don’t need to throw out any food in your pantry. You don’t need to buy anything special. You just need to come. That’s all.

 

Jenn, what would you add? Yeah. This was something that when I started my brain really did a little explosion. Like what? No. Tell me what I need to do. Tell me what I need to eat, because I was so used to in the past, having certain foods for myself and then certain foods for my family. Right. And having to essentially white knuckle it to not eat what they’re eating and feeling this restriction. And so I really do think that this is one of the things that in the long run does remind you, that you have all the answers within you and it gives you this freedom. You find that when you can eat whatever you want without restriction, you’ll learn that you really don’t want it as much as you think you do. Yeah. Isn’t that crazy? When you think you can’t have it, then all you want is you want it. Right. It’s kind of like with anything, right?

 

Even if you watch, I love watching little kids, right? When you tell them they can’t have something, then they obsess, but can I have it? Can I have it? When can I have it? When I know I’m going to have it right. That’s how our brains are. Our brain is literally like a toddler. And so anytime you’re like, no, we can’t have that anymore, your brain, Lizzy, is just going to pipe up and be like, that is what we need. We must have it. And so, healing your relationship with food is really starting to think of food as abundant, and that you can eat anything. You can eat anything that’s out there.

 

You know, when you learn that and know that, and you don’t have to have different food and you just pay attention to your body, we do. One of the basics that I teach is how to start to find your hunger and fullness. That is the counterbalance to eating all the food, is when you connect with your body. When your body’s like, oh yeah, we’re full, then you stop. It’s, I’m telling you. It’s so good. Oh good. Oh, that was a good question.

 

Well, Shannan doesn’t know these questions, but that’s a perfect segue into our next question. How do I eat a small amount and stop? Ooh, this is just, I mean, it is a perfect segue. I don’t know the questions actually. It’s so interesting. Jenn gathered them, but it’s all about reconnecting with your own body. Your body has actual hormones, leptin and ghrelin, that tell you when you’re physically hungry, and when you’re getting full. And what’s happened over time is we have disconnected. We don’t trust our bodies. We don’t trust ourselves anymore because we’ve broken commitments. And because we mindlessly eating, we’re not paying attention. We’re not savoring the food.

 

You know, ladies always tell me they love food, but Shannan, I love food. I’m like, you do? Because you didn’t even taste what you just ate. I did this too. There’s no judgment. But when you don’t even enjoy your food, you’re just eating it to eat. And you’re, you know, scrolling social media. You’re standing up at the kitchen counter. You’re running through a drive-through and you’re eating it before you get home because you’re secretly eating it and you don’t want anyone to know. My love, that’s just disconnection from your authentic self and your body.

 

And so I teach this really simple basic of asking yourself two simple questions. Am I hungry physically? And how am I feeling? These two simple questions bring you into your thinking brain. You know, you have to meet yourself where you’re at. When you meet yourself where you’re at, whatever you’re eating currently today, you can’t go from eating all the things to just eating this very small amount or chicken and salad. You have to kind of step into it as you reconnect with your body. This is so important. Ladies will resist this because of diet culture, diet trauma, but I promise you want success. You do it slowly. You meet yourself where you’re at. And then you ask yourself just these two simple questions. And then you start to slowly Uplevel, right? It’s just amazing when you can start to feel fullness, when you can start to feel it, when you can start to tell the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger, and when you’re craving something emotionally, telling yourself the truth, right? We don’t tell ourselves the truth about that. That’s for sure.

 

But like, oh, I need this. I deserve it. It’s going to bring me comfort. And you live in a body that doesn’t feel good. You live in a body that you don’t have freedom in, you don’t even like your body. You say horrible things about it. So that food, when you tell yourself it’s comfort, that’s not a comfort. It’s a two-minute dopamine hit. And then the truth is it brings you so much pain. And just getting really honest with yourself about it. I know that’s a long answer. Ask yourself two simple questions and then start the process of reconnecting with your body and paying attention and enjoying and savoring your food and meet yourself where you’re at.

 

All right Jenn, what else? What did I forget? I know, you know, all the things. No, I just, as you’re speaking, what popped into my head was yes, yes, yes. But I think, yeah, we are just so disconnected from our bodies. We don’t realize that we shouldn’t be feeling this way, right? This constant state of bloat or fullness or a bellyache, we think sometimes that’s just how it’s supposed to be. I think that it begins with, you know, just leaving one bite on your plate and asking yourself those questions. And I think that you’ll be amazed that you really are full. Right. And I was queen of running away from all these emotions that I didn’t want to feel and telling myself those things, like I deserve it after this day or this will make me feel better.

 

And in the end, it didn’t, right. It just added to me feeling fuller and pushing those emotions down. I love the question too, of would a chicken breast do? If you don’t know if it’s physical hunger or emotional, ask yourself that question, and if you’re not physically hungry your brain will be like, Ooh, no, I don’t know. Not a chicken breast. And so that is a little tip that always, when my mind wants to play tricks on me, I always go ask that. And I know immediately if it’s physical or if it’s emotional. Oh yeah. Such a good question. Right? Because if my brain is like, no, only that donut will do Shannan. Then I’m like, oh shoot. I don’t want to feel a feeling. You know, I want to disconnect. I want a little dopamine. Right? And so, but dopamine is such a quick fix, right? It’s just this really immediate, quick fix. But two minutes, five minutes, two hours, two days later, it’s not there anymore. And then you just need more and you need more of it.

 

And allowing yourself, we teach a concept in Transform Boss about how to allow an urge. So when you feel this urge, how to allow it without taking action, without overeating, without eating what you’re not hungry for. And we also teach how to allow feelings, how to sit and process emotion. And this is deep work my love. I mean, it is deep work, but it is the best work. Really. When you can allow yourself to feel any emotion without taking negative action, or you can allow yourself to feel an urge and not overeat. And then you start doing that over and over again. Suddenly you’re like, holy moly, I really don’t want to eat it.

 

And that moment when you’re like, holy moly, I have donuts on my kitchen counter and I don’t want to eat them. You feel so powerful. That is what this work will do for you. It’s so powerful when you’re just like, oh, that’s right. I don’t want that pizza. I don’t want that cupcake. Not, I can’t have it. I can’t have it puts you in a victim mode. Right. Then you’re like, oh, I can’t have up. And then Lizzie is like, okay, well we got to eat all of it then instead of I don’t want it. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. It’s so powerful. It’s so powerful. It is. It’s taking that power back when you realize I don’t want it or I don’t need it. And I’m choosing that for myself. It is just the biggest confidence boost. It’s so empowering.

 

The next question is how do you listen to your body to know when you’re hungry or when you’re satisfied? Oh yeah. Yeah. So every body is different. And I mean, like for real right? We all have different fingerprints. We all have different bodies. We have different genetics, different makeups, different body types, all the things. Right. And so I think a couple things, if you are wanting to know what hunger feels like in your body, one of the things to do is just in the morning, usually for most folks, if you have a normal schedule, you don’t eat at night, you sleep for most folks.

 

So when you wake up, you might just like, normally go and get breakfast. So instead of doing that, just allowing yourself to kind of extend that a couple hours so that you can start to see what hunger feels like. For me, I feel a little emptiness in my tummy. I might feel too, like if I let it go too far, I’ll feel a little lightheaded. I start to feel a little low energy when I start to get physically hungry. And also my brain now will start to say like, Hey, we’re hungry. Like, I’ll start to have thoughts like, oh, I need to eat. Hunger really feels to me just like this little emptiness in my belly.

 

And then again, I, my brain really does tell me like, Hey, I’m getting hungry. And then I ask myself, is this physical hunger? When you ask yourself questions, your body will respond. I know it sounds crazy. But once you do this over and over, it will. Then your body will be like, no, we’re not hungry. And then you’re like, oh, okay. Right. Like it just happens over time. Now feeling full for me, for sure. I know I’m full with two things. When I start not paying attention, meaning I’m grabbing my phone or I want to get up from the table. That is my first. My second is when my brain is like, you need the perfect bite. When I’m like looking for the perfect bite on my plate. When I’m trying to have that first bite experience. The first bite is always the best bite. Every bite after that just is diminishing returns. So the first bites the best, then every bite after just gets worse and worse. When you’re looking, and when I’m searching for that perfect bite, I know immediately. I know immediately I’m full. So those are my two.

 

Jenn, what about you? My hunger is very similar to yours. Just a slight lightheadedness, right. And low energy is how I can usually tell. Even mood shifts. Right? Like sometimes I’ll be a little more snappy and then I’m like, oh, okay. I may need some food, getting that hangry going on. And then for satisfaction, for me when I’m full, it is a sigh. Like I have noticed over time that my body naturally lets out a sigh when I’m beginning to get full, you know, and I just have to pay attention. Cause my brain sometimes will notice that I sigh, but be like just a couple more bites. But I have to remind myself it’s, you’re fine. Like, it just goes back to that abundance and scarcity.

 

Right. And just knowing it’s going to be there. And so just paying attention to those signals. But I think those would be mine for hunger and fullness. Yeah. That sigh. Or even like your belly extends a little, right. Ladies, it’s just asking yourself like, how am I feeling? When you say to yourself, how am I feeling? And you go into your body and you’re like, how’s my tummy feeling. How’s my chest feeling. How’s my breathing. Right. Like if I’m stuffed like a turkey, I can’t breathe. Like I feel like I’m pregnant again. Like I’m like, oh, okay. I’m way past full. Right. That’s how, you know, like you have like gone past full, right.

 

Suddenly you’re like, oh shoot. My breathing is restricted. I mean, if you think about your poor little stomach, it’s not very big. I mean, no matter who you are. Right. Even though I stretch my stomach out, for sure. Like the internal stomach, even then still, it’s not that big. I love to visualize my stomach. Like really like inside my internal stomach and think like, okay, like Shannan, you have three plates of enchiladas. Maybe that’s not gonna fit. Right. So just again, just paying attention and just having some grace with yourself, asking yourself just some simple questions.

 

Ooh. I love this episode. You know, ladies, you’re going to want to join us for next week. We have more questions. I mean, we only got through three questions, but you know, ladies, I don’t like to make the episodes too long because I want you to have quick hits. So join us next week. We’re going to continue, we’re going to go through a few more questions. And if you want to take this work deeper, make sure you go to freebosscourse.com, and take my free course. All right, bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #153: The COST Of Losing Weight For The Last Time Pt. 2

Ep #153: The COST Of Losing Weight Pt. 2

This is the second part of a two-part series where I teach you what the COST of losing weight is and it won’t be what you think it is. If you missed last week, go back and listen to it, episode 152.

Last week I taught you to get off the diet roller coaster for good that there is a cost – there is hard work, but it is the best work of your life. You learned what the C &O was.

Today I will dive deep into the S &T.

We as women work tirelessly for everyone else and show up for everyone in our lives. Isn’t it about time you show up for you!

Getting off the diet roller coaster for good and losing weight for the last time just requires one small decision and action after the next. Are you ready to make that one small decision?

Don’t forget to rate and review the show for our 150th episode giveaway. Rate and review us on iTunes. Or you can go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. You must submit by 08/31 and then email support@bflycoaching.com to enter.

And if you want to take this work deeper, take my free course at freebosscourse.com.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How showing up means doing the hard work and committing to yourself
  • Why it’s so important to talk to yourself more than you listen
  • How to lose weight for good by just making one small decision at a time

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • Listen to episode #152 to learn what the C & O are in COST
  • Make sure you leave a review by August 31, 2022 to be entered into a drawing

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 153. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello Love. So happy to be back with you. Today, I’m going to roll out the second part of a two-part series where I teach you what the COST of losing weight for the last time is. And it’s not what you think it is. If you missed last week, go back and listen to it. Episode number 152. I have been researching and creating a five-month series in Transform Boss called healing you. I think it may be the best work of my life. I have been deep in learning and testing.

I rolled out the first part in our boss event a couple of weeks ago, and then each month inside of Transform Boss membership, I will teach a workshop and we’ll do the work together. I’m teaching my bosses how to heal their relationship with food and themselves. Ooh, my love it is so powerful to heal, to heal from the inside. I am so excited about it. I cannot wait. Now don’t worry. If you’re not a boss, we’re going to open back up in October and we will have the replays available.

Last week I taught you how to get off the diet roller coaster for good, and that there’s a cost to it. There is hard work, but it is the best work of your life. I created an acronym from cost, C O S T. I taught care and ownership, and today I’m going to teach you the S and T. The S stands for showing up. We as women show up for everyone else. We have no problem in showing up for others, doing what they ask, even if we don’t want to. We work so hard for everyone else. Then we think getting a pedicure 45 minutes is self-care, but it really isn’t.

Showing up means doing the hard work, committing to yourself, and showing up, even when you don’t want to. It’s doing the things that in the moment Lizzie’s telling you, I don’t want to do it. It’s saying no to the things that you don’t want to do, or that don’t serve you any longer. You matter. You are worthy. You deserve to show up for yourself. You think you deserve a cupcake, but my love, you deserve a thousand times more than that. You deserve everything you want. And how you get it is by showing up for yourself. Keeping commitments to yourself, failing, learning, and growing. Showing up for yourself is a must. It’s investing in yourself, investing your time and money because you matter my love.

The T stands for talking to yourself. Talking to yourself more than you listen to old beliefs is part of the cost of losing weight for the last time. You have thousands of old programmed beliefs. Beliefs like I can’t lose weight. I’m not good enough. I’m too old. I’m not enough. She is better than me. Weight loss is just my struggle. I’m big boned. It’s my genetics. Love, those are just thoughts, sentences. Just words put together that formed a sentence.

And to get off the diet roller coaster, you must start talking to yourself more than you listen to the old nonsense belief and thoughts. We anchor ourselves in some old version of ourselves and believing that we can’t lose weight or live our dreams. But I am here to tell you it is possible. You can do anything. I mean, anything. You just have to start talking to Lizzie, start telling her that you don’t want to believe that anymore. That you’re going to keep the commitment to yourself.

Talking to yourself more than you listen is in my top three of how I lost weight for the last time. How I went after my dreams, healed relationships. It is a must. There is a cost to losing weight. You must care for your mental, emotional, and physical health, by being aware of what you’re believing and thinking, and feeling, and then reconnecting to your body. Feeling that hunger, feeling fullness, allowing yourself some grace. And love, it is taking ownership, full accountability and agency over you, your life, and your decisions. It’s being completely transparent with yourself. And no beat down included.

And then showing up. You gotta do the work. Ooh, I love hard work. I love how I feel after it. Lizzie will tell me, don’t do it. Don’t show up. Don’t keep the commitment. But I love how I feel after it. And I have to remind myself because I know that after I do the thing, the thing that I don’t want to do, that I’m gonna feel amazing after it. So you just have to keep showing, and you gotta talk to yourself more than you listen. Because you matter, you are worthy, and you got this my love. One small decision, one small action, just over and over again.

If you want to take this work deeper, then go to freebosscourse.com and take my free course. And next week, coach Jenn and I, we’re going to answer all the weight loss questions, she’s been compiling them. Ooh, you don’t want to miss that one. All right my love, bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bfly.coaching.com. See you next week.

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Ep #152: The COST Of Losing Weight For The Last Time

Ep #152: The COST Of Losing Weight For The Last Time

This is the first episode in a two-part series where I teach you what the COST of losing weight is, and it won’t be what you think it is.

We think of the COST of weight loss as money, maybe time invested. We have spent hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars on this “diet roller coaster.” It has cost us a lot.

Join me in this episode as I will go a little deeper and talk about what I think the COST of losing weight is, self-love and really living your best life in a body you love. 

Learning how to invest in yourself, learning the cost of losing weight for the last time – it is work, it is the best work of your life.

Don’t forget to rate and review the show for our 150th episode giveaway. Rate and review us on iTunes. Or you can go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. You must submit by 08/31 and then email support@bflycoaching.com to enter.

And if you want to take this work deeper, take my free course at freebosscourse.com.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • What is truly hard about losing weight, and how we get to choose our hard
  • What caring for your physical, mental, and emotional health really means
  • How being honest with yourself about where you are and where you want to go will lead to weight loss success

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • Make sure you leave a review by August 31, 2022 to be entered into a drawing

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 152. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you today. Today, I’m going to roll out the first of a two-part series where I am going to teach you what the COST of losing weight is, and it’s not going to be what you think it is. Ladies, I am so excited. I just finished the Transform Boss live event this past Saturday as I’m recording this, and it’s a members only event for all my bosses. And I love spending time with my ladies, teaching them, watching their transformations. We have awards. Paul came on. I know it was so fun.

 

And I just love watching ladies show up for themselves, being active. We did breakout rooms, and it just was so amazing. I love the Transform Boss community and just think absolutely we have just the best women, and I love them. And it was just so fun spending this time. We do those events twice a year. It goes so fast and I love it so much. We have been so innovative, my team and I lately and creative thinking of ways that, you know, we can help our bosses have more success. It really is everything to me.

 

I think about all of you ladies, I too am just a human, a woman who struggled with her weight, struggled with her self-worth and loving herself. And now I just want to help women live this life, their best life in a body that they love, and disrupt diet culture. Yes, disrupt it. I want to break the diet industry. I think that losing weight is all about healing ourselves, our relationship with food, and it has nothing to do with the food or dieting. It’s just so important to me. So I hope you’ll come and join me in my mission. I know I love it. Right?

 

So we think of the cost of weight loss as money. Maybe time invested. You know, my love, we have spent hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars on the diet roller coaster. It has cost us a lot. But today I want to go a little deeper and talk about what I think the cost of losing weight, self-love, and living your best life in a body that you love. I created this acronym called COST, C O S T. It has the four parts to what it really costs you to lose weight for the long-term, for the last time, to get off the diet roller coaster for good.

 

I’m going to teach you today about the C and the O and then part two next week, I will go into the S and the T. But before we begin, I want to anchor you into something before I go into the C and O. Hard work. My love, we think losing weight is hard work, that it’s out of our reach. But those are just thoughts. Living in a body that you don’t love, carrying extra weight on your body, not being able to do the things you love, not having energy, obsessing about food and your next meal, well that is hard. I want to teach you that you have to invest in yourself. It’s the best investment you will ever make. And there is a cost.

 

The C is for Care. To get off the diet roller coaster you must learn how to care for yourself and your body. Taking care of yourself, your mental, emotional, and physical health. My love, when you don’t like something, you have frustration with it. You loathe it, you start avoiding it. This is what happens when you don’t love the body you live in.

 

You disconnect from it. Care is about taking care of your body, your mental and emotional health. It’s being aware of old thoughts and beliefs that are guiding your behaviors. It’s changing them with a one-better thought, learning how to feel your feelings, and starting to reconnect with that beautiful, amazing miraculous body of yours. I was so disconnected to my body and feelings. I was a robot walking around, checking things off the to-do list, just surviving, but I wanted more. I wanted more than just surviving. I wanted to live, live my best human life.

 

The O is for ownership. This is so important as you lose weight for the last time, taking full ownership and agency over where you are right now. No beat downs, no victim, poor me, just full transparency. And then from there, you can decide what your next best decision is. I used to lie to myself all the time about what I was thinking, what I was doing, my results, you know. I’d blame it on my mother, my genetics, my circumstances.   Shoot, if my husband brought home ice cream, I’d be like, well, it’s Paul’s fault, he brought home the ice cream. But really, I always have the decision. I was always in control.

 

Love, in this world, I only control what I think, feel and do. I want you to really think about that. We want to control all the things. But the only thing that you really control is how you think about something, what you feel about it, and then what you do. When I take accountability, full ownership, I can heal, forgive, and make decisions from a place of love and commitment for myself. Instead of fear and doubt.

 

I want you to really hear me. This is not about beating yourself up or making yourself wrong. It’s just saying I chose to do the thing. So what? Now, what is my next best action? What is the next thing that I’m going to do for myself? And then you just do that over and over again. Learning how to invest in yourself, learning the cost of losing weight for the last time, it is work. It’s the best work of your life.

 

To summarize, one, caring for your mental, emotional, and physical health means becoming aware of your thinking. Learning how to feel emotion and reconnecting to your body. Two, ownership is taking full accountability and agency over what you’re deciding to do and not do. It’s not beating yourself up or making yourself wrong. It’s just full ownership over you and your human life. It’s just getting real honest about where you are and where you want to go.

 

Next week, I am going to teach the S and the T, and then I’m going to put it all together. You do not want to miss it. Don’t forget to rate and review the show for our 150th episode giveaway. You must submit by August 31st and then email support@bficoaching.com to enter. And if you want to take this work deeper, take my free course at freebosscourse.com. Bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #151: You Never Have To Start Over Again

Ep #151: You Never Have to Start Over Again

We have these limiting beliefs that we need to start over, we are behind, we should do it all. These keep us stuck on the diet roller coaster.

We have learned through diet culture that what we are doing is not good enough and that we need to do more, restrict more, and that leaves us feeling frustrated and hopeless.

Join me in this episode where I teach you what to do so you never have to start over again. 

If you want to take this work deeper, start with my free course. Go to freebosscourse.com.

Please leave us a review so we can reach more women to help them learn to lose weight for good. You could even win an amazing prize.

Rate and review us on iTunes. Or you can go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. When you leave a review, email support@bflycoaching.com. Then, we’ll enter you into a drawing. Please leave your reviews by August 31st, 2022.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How you never have to “start over”
  • How making the next best decision and then taking action from that place is easy
  • How to lose weight and live your best life from just the tiny decisions you make – not big sweeping ones

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • Make sure you leave a review by August 31, 2022 to be entered into a drawing

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 151. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello love. So happy to be back with you. Boy, it has been a time. We went to Delaware and then we rode the train up and we went to New York City. And I have to say, you know, we have not been to New York City since before the pandemic, and we had a blast. It was so fun. We rode the train up from Delaware and we saw Hamilton and we had amazing food as always in NYC. And we just had a really nice time. But we did not have any travel problems. I, you know, I was a little worried about the flights, so we didn’t, it was just great. So it was such a good time. It was. I really relaxed. It’s been a while, and I have to tell you my loves, it was really a good time.

 

So I am excited about today’s episode because it was a request. Actually one of my ladies made the request and it’s all about this thought that we have that we need to start over. It can come up in many different ways. So it can sound like I need to start over, I’m behind, I need to catch up. I’ll start over on Monday. It will be a better time, you know, in a couple of weeks. It’s just these simple thoughts. They come in, they kind of breeze in. But what happens is, when you think you have to start over, you start to feel overwhelmed. And I just want to get to the punchline. My love, you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

 

These sentences, these words that you’re thinking, that you’re not doing enough, that you need to do more, that if you did more life would be better, it’s just like this secret kind of perfectionism/beat down showing up. See, when you start to think you need to do more or start over. Maybe you had a bad weekend. Maybe you overate. Maybe you ate more than what you wanted. I just want to offer you that there really is no “starting over.” I know. Just really think about it. What does it really mean? Starting over. You’re never really starting over. You’re just taking the next best action or you’re making the next decision. That’s what you’re doing.

 

We tell ourselves that we put so much pressure that we have to be perfect. We have to do all the things. We’re behind. You know, this thought I’m so far behind, it’s such a limiting belief. Because when you think you’re behind, then you feel frustrated. You feel disappointed. You feel overwhelmed. And then you actually don’t do anything. You don’t take any action.

 

You just sit in this kind of worry puddle. And I just want to offer you that there is a different way. When you think I need to start over, it starts feeling dramatic. It starts feeling hard. When you think, oh, I’ve got to do all of this again. I’ve, you know, I’ve gained some weight back, whatever it is. And I just want to offer you a different thought. The thought is I am exactly where I am supposed to be. When you think that thought, relief, right, maybe even some hope or some excitement. And when you’re feeling excited, when you’re feeling hopeful, then there’s a better opportunity for you to make the next best decision for yourself.

 

Making the next best decision and taking action from that place, from that thought, it makes it feel easy, hopeful, light. Instead of the thought, I need to start over, I’m not doing enough, right. That’s so heavy. It feels so dramatic. See, weight loss, living your best life, it’s just thousands of tiny decisions. It’s not one or two or even 10 big sweeping ones. We have new bosses right now in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and I have them start slowly, set minimum baselines.

 

So we always start our new bosses out in a 21-day challenge. Now, when you hear 21-day challenge, as a new boss, you might be like, oh no, but as always, I teach minimum baselines. I tell them that I only want them to do maybe two, three or four days of the seven, not seven out of seven. I am teaching them how to retrain their brains, that they don’t need to do all the things. They don’t need to go to extremes. This really starts the healing process. When you know that you don’t have to be perfect, when you don’t have to do all the things, when you don’t have to start over, that you’re going to take doable and simple steps to change habits over time. Love, it is not sexy or some quick fix, but it’s how you lose weight for the long term. It’s how you get off the diet roller coaster.

 

Here are the three steps to never having to start over again. One, notice, become aware when you’re telling yourself I’m going to start over on Monday or I’m going to be good tomorrow. My love, you are good right now. Food does not make you good or bad. That’s just a thought, and you get to decide what you want to believe. Number two, then ask yourself, what is the next best thing? The next best decision that I could do for myself. One step, one small baby step forward, one action. Then make the decision and take the action. And then number three, repeat. Repeat over and over and over again.

 

See, in this beautiful life, we are just imperfect humans. We make decisions one after another. Some of them are for us and some of them just prolong our journey. But when you can become aware of the sentences in your brain, when you’re telling yourself that you have to start over, you now have the tool to challenge that. You just become aware. You ask yourself, what’s the next best thing I can do for myself? You make the decision and you take the action. You never have to start over my love. Ever, ever, ever, or start on Monday. You just take the next best action for yourself. The process I use to lose weight was, is boring. It’s just one small decision and action to the next. I never start over or have to catch up. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. And so are you.

 

If you want to take this work deeper then take my free course. I teach three of my basics to start your journey to losing weight for the very last time. Go to freebosscourse.com. And right now, if you’re listening to this in August of 2022, we are doing a special, 150 episodes giveaway. And so you can rate and review the podcast on iTunes or go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. You can review the podcast in the comments on the blog, then email support@bflycoaching.com. Just tell us where you left the review and where you rated the podcast, and then you will be entered into our drawing. And my love, Ooh, I’m going to give away something spectacular. You do not want to miss it. So very simple. We’ll put the directions in the show notes so you know exactly what to do.

 

Bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #150: The Basics of Weight Loss Success Tips

Ep #150: The Basics of Weight Loss Success Tips

Join me in this special episode where Coach Jenn will be joining me and we will be talking about my basics.

Now my basics are 4 fundamentals that I teach to get you off the diet roller-coaster for good.

I know for most of us, we have tried all the diets out there, looking for that magical pill or solution, exercise plan, etc. But I teach you a different way.

How to meet yourself where you are at, find your successes, change your thoughts, and slowly up level.

We will dive deep into these 4 fundamentals, including lots of tips on how to lose weight in a way that you can always do.

Our bodies really are amazing. We just need to start paying attention to them again.

Are you ready to stop being a member of the “clean plate club” and learn to just listen to what your body needs?

If you want to take this work deeper, start with my free course. Go to freebosscourse.com.

And please leave us a review so we can reach more women to help them to learn to lose weight for good. You could even win a prize. Rate and review us on iTunes. Or you can go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. When you leave a review, email support@bflycoaching.com. Then, we’ll enter you into a drawing. Please leave your reviews by August 31st, 2022.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How meeting yourself where you are at leads to your success
  • How to become the scientist of your own body
  • How to change your thoughts from that negative thinking
  • What our body basics are, and why they are so important

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • To learn more about my fundamentals listen to previous podcasts episodes #6 and #106 (Realistic Plan); #9 and #107 (Becoming the Scientist of Your Body), #11 and #108 (Body Basics), and #19 and #105 (Reflection Work)

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 150. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello my love. I am so excited to be here, and I have a very special episode today. 150, can you even believe it? I can’t believe it. 150 weeks, I have been in your ears, for many of you. So I just one, first want to say, I appreciate you. I appreciate all the ladies from all over the world who listen to this podcast. I just love you and want all your success. And today what I wanted to do is first, Jenn Taylor, coach Jenn from Transform Boss Weight Loss, she’s going to join us. And then second, you know I love a good giveaway. So that’s what we’re going to do.

 

So if you’re listening to this podcast, we are going to give away some prizes for leaving a review. So if you like the podcast, leave a review. Here’s the process. We’ll also put this in the show notes, but basically leave a review, rate it and review it on iTunes. Or you can go to bflycoaching.com/podcast. You can also leave a review there. When you leave a review, then email support@bflycoaching.com. And then what will happen is we’ll enter you into a drawing. Now I’m going to ask that you leave the reviews by August 31st, 2022.

 

And when you leave the review and email support@bflycoaching.com, just telling us which review you left, because, you know, especially in iTunes, the names are a little different, then you’ll be entered in. And I am going to give away some fabulous things. So you don’t want to miss out. You know, ratings and reviews just help spread this show. It helps so that they can hear how to get off the diet roller-coaster, and how to have a little more love for themselves.

 

So today, Jenn and I are really going to get into the basics. In Transform Boss Weight Loss we have four basic components. These are the basics. Now we go in depth, there’s so much more, but I love having these fundamentals, these basics, because this is how you really start to heal the relationship that you have with yourself and with food. And so the four basics, the first one, we’ll kind of get into each one. And then we’re just going to tell you our tips, how we’ve either seen ladies really be successful with these or how we use them ourselves. Jenn and I both do these every day. They’re important to us. They’ve helped us along our journey. And so we just want to share some goodies with you.

 

So the very first fundamental in Transform Boss is the realistic plan. If you don’t know what it is, you can go back to episode six, and episode six will give you all the details. You can also take my free course, right? Lots of ways to learn about it. But the gist of it is, it’s a coaching tool where you learn how to start to become aware of your thoughts about food. It kind of masquerades as a plan, but it’s not really, you write down what you’re going to eat. But the true importance of it is you starting to keep a commitment to yourself.

 

You’re starting to allow yourself to meet yourself where you’re at right now, not some dietary food plan. And it’s a way that you can see like, are you making it too diety? Are you resisting? You’re not making it. It’s just a really good tool so that you can see the commitment that you have to yourself. And you can start to self-coach and ask yourself questions.

 

So the gist of it, every night, you just write down what you’re going to eat the next day. You make it, you meet yourself where you’re at. If you’re, if you’ve been eating two Chick-fil-A sandwiches and Chick-fil-A fries every day for lunch, then that’s what you eat, that’s what you’re going to put on it. Ladies will ask Well, how am I going to lose weight? The first part of losing weight for the last time is healing your relationship with food, and doing it slowly and meeting yourself where you’re at. So you’re just going to put the food that you’re going to eat. You’re not going to make it as one of my members, Jerica, she said this phrase and I loved it, you’re going to make it realistic, not idealistic.

 

For me, I write my plan every day. I don’t have a lot of confusion or drama about it. And if I ever eat off plan, my tip for all of you ladies is just to ask yourself why? Like what’s happening? I just say this simple phrase to myself, like what’s happening love? And I just inquire into like why? Was it, you know, because I was stressed, which most cases, right? Or was it because I was feeling other emotions I didn’t want to feel. And so just getting honest about like, why did I eat off plan. No judgment, no beat downs. Just asking myself why?

 

Everything that we’re going to teach you, it all comes back down to learning how to self-coach, because the bigger part of this process is the healing that comes from that. So Jenn, Jenn Taylor, she’s a coach in Transform Boss Weight Loss, coach Jenn, I mean, she’s a regular on the show, she’s beautiful and amazing. Jenn, I’m going to have you introduce yourself, because all the ladies know you and if you don’t know her, listen to a previous episode she’s on here. She is amazing. So you’ve been doing the realistic plan for a good bit. You’ve coached ladies who are doing the realistic plan. What would you tell ladies about this first basic? How to start to do it? How to be successful? Any tips you have for them?

 

Yeah, you know, there’s going to be certain times in the month or throughout the year that, you know, you might want some extra food. It might be that time of the month. You might be doing more movement and you’re just needing more fuel for your body. But just starting to pay attention. You mentioned meeting yourself where you’re at, and so starting there of course, but as you’re doing that, just pay attention to these times that you maybe are like, you know, I need a little bit more food than what’s on my plan. And see if there’s a pattern. You’ll start to really get in tune with your body and just be able to tell certain times of the month or certain activities that you’re doing. Maybe it’s even a celebration that you’re like, you know, I want to go and enjoy some of the extra food at the barbecue,

 

whatever it is. So plan for those times for extra food.

 

And you’ll learn to just lose that shame along with it. Because I think a lot of us carry this shame or have carried in the past, the shame of wanting a piece of cake, right? Like I shouldn’t have that, and you can have that and you can still lose weight. That’s the best part of this all.

 

And the second tip that I would say is just begin to make it a habit, right? When we start doing something. When I know when I started the realistic plan, I resisted for a long time. I wanted it to be perfect because I didn’t want to eat off plan or mess up. That made me a failure. But what I would offer to you is that it’s not going to be perfect. But the more that you can consistently do it and keep showing up, and learning from it and changing it, tweaking it to what you need, and just making that a habit, that is where you’re going to see all the benefits from this.

 

I love all of that because this is so important ladies. This is why another reason I could give you a hundred reasons, but another reason is why diets don’t work is because your bodies, they need different fuel amounts on different days, and diets don’t account for that. They’re just like, okay, every day you’re going to eat 1200 calories. You’re going to have cut your carbs out. You know, all these things. And sometimes your body really needs a lot of carbs. You know, I think about women who are still menstruating, your body needs carbs. So like, there’s just certain things, hormonal times, there’s just different things where your body needs different things.

 

And that leads us right into our next fundamental, which is the food part. And this is all about fuel food and hunger and fullness. And this second fundamental is really about reconnecting to your body. And I love that Jenn gave you such an amazing tip, because, you know ladies, we’ve been so disconnected from our bodies. We don’t know when we’re hungry. We don’t know when we’re full. Our body is like, I’m physically hungry and we’ve just ignored it for so long that we don’t know. And we don’t know what food feels like in our body.

 

You know, I would say this was one of the ones that when I very first started this process was more difficult for me. And what I mean by that is like getting and seeing how food actually felt in my body. Now, what I mean by that. So I don’t call food healthy or not healthy, good or bad. Food is either fuel food for me, meaning that it energizes me. It keeps me full for a long period of time, a few hours. Or it’s non-fuel, which is a food that doesn’t keep me satiated. It doesn’t keep me full for long. I might feel like I need to take a nap after I eat it. That’s non-fuel.

 

And in between that is neutral. And neutral food is just food that I eat it, I feel fine, I don’t necessarily feel energized. I just feel kind of neutral. And it keeps me satisfied or feeling kind of full for a bit. If you eat something, no matter what it is, and 30 minutes later, you’re starving, it’s probably a non-fuel for you. See, I have foods that people would consider “healthy.” They’d say, oh, that’s so healthy, but it doesn’t agree with my body. It’s a non-fuel for me, because it doesn’t keep me satiated. Fruit is one of those things. When I eat fruit, I like it. I include it. But if I eat a lot of fruit, it’s just non-fuel for me.

 

Now I have ladies who love fruit, even my husband, oh my gosh, when he eats berries, it’s a fuel for him. It gives him energy. It keeps him full. And so all of our bodies are different. And so this really comes down to you becoming the scientist of your own body. Now, when it comes to hunger, when it comes to fullness, you have these hormones, ghrelin and leptin. But my love, we’ve just ignored them because we’ve just been eating and not paying attention, eating a lot of non-fuel food. And once you start to pay attention, what happens over time as you heal your relationship with food, you’ll notice that you want more fuel food. You want to feel better. You start to enjoy.

 

There are fuel foods like potatoes for me, like lots of rice. Oh my gosh. So good. Love it. But before I would tell myself, I can’t have it. I can’t have the carbs. Right? I’m on Atkins. I mean, it’s so crazy, but I lost weight, eating potatoes and rice, and it is a fuel food for me. So you get to decide what fuels your body and what doesn’t. And then you ask yourself two simple questions. Am I physically hungry? And how does it feel in my body? That’s how you start to see how food feels in your body. And if you’re even physically hungry. There are times where I think I “should eat,” but I’m not physically hungry.

 

Guess what my love, I just don’t. I wait. And then I check in with myself again in an hour. And if I’m physically hungry, then I eat. We have been told when to eat, what to eat, all these things. And my loves, 71% of the population is overweight or obese. It’s not working. It’s not working because no one, your body, just like your fingerprint, is unique and it needs different things, different times of the month, different amounts of fuel, non-fuel. And I want to say this, because this is really important. I include all of it. That’s my tip for you. My tip for you is I include fuel food, non-fuel food, neutral food. It’s all on my plan.

 

I just noticed that over the years, my ratio to non-fuel to fuel has increased. Even though there could be times of the month or different times of the year where I start to have a little more non-fuel. I get to adjust it to how my body is feeling and what I need, and also what I want to enjoy. Yes. And that’s how I lost weight for the last time. I lost weight eating the foods that I was always going to eat for the rest of my life. If you lose weight on cutting out all the carbs like keto or whatever, and you think, oh, once I lose the weight, I’m going to add those back in, you will regain your weight. I know because I’ve done it.

 

So have you. You have to lose weight in a way that you can always do. So Jenn, this one, I think for ladies can be difficult because we’ve been so disconnected. They’re like Shannan, I don’t know what fuel is, I don’t know what non-fuel is. When you very first start this work, I see ladies in Transform Boss, they really work like to do it right, to ask themselves two questions. But what tips would you have for the ladies?

 

Yeah, I think, you know, this one has really been drilled into our brains that there’s good foods and bad foods and that we need to cut things out. So one of the tips that I would give, and Shannan touched on it a bit, is just try as many different foods as you can. Right. Really become that scientist. Because I know specifically there’s multiple ladies in Transform, like Shannan mentioned, that potatoes on most diets would be considered a carb and to starch and they’d cause you to gain weight. But for a lot of ladies, they are fuel food and myself included. And so just starting to lose and pay attention to when those diet thoughts come in, I can’t have this, I shouldn’t have this. Right.

 

And just really become that scientist and test out the different foods. Just slow down, see how they feel in your body. Test it, you know, check in 10 minutes after, 30 minutes after, and just see how you’re feeling. And naturally, as you start to pay attention, you’ll start to be able to identify, oh, I’m feeling a little lethargic, or I feel like I have so much energy, and you’ll just start to get that process. Another thing I would like to add is portion size is a big deal. I have certain foods that if I eat, pizza is one of them, it can be a neutral food, but if I eat more than two slices, it becomes a non-fuel food. Just paying attention and playing with your portion sizes as you’re figuring this out, you know, you’re trying to pay attention to fuel food and along with how much you need. And so just give yourself grace as you’re figuring this out, and really think of it as kind of this experiment. You’re just testing different things.

 

Two signs that are I would leave as the last tip with this is we hear that ladies struggled to know when they’re hungry, but we also, I think struggled to know when we’re full. We just have this clean plate club, right? All of these things that we have to finish, we don’t want to waste our food. And so two signs that really have helped me figuring this out is when I’m looking for the perfect bite, right? So I’m waiting for that same hit that I had that first bite. Or one of my signs of fullness is when I sigh. My body naturally will just sigh when I’m full and you know, sometimes even until this day, I want to ignore it and be like, no, I still want more of it. And I just have to have that conversation with myself and make a choice.

 

Right. But just starting to pay attention to how your body tells you when you’re full, because you have natural built-in signs that your body will give you as well. I love all of those. I love the sigh. Yeah, me too. And for me, one of my biggest triggers is when I start panicking, just like you said, and I started looking for that perfect bite. Like I’ve got to, Ooh, let me rewarm this up. Cause I need it hot again. Then I’m like, oh wait, I’m full. Right. What’s happening is your lizard brain, your amygdala, is like, oh my gosh, she’s going to stop eating, but it tastes so good. I want more of it.

 

And then, but you’re getting hunger. You’re no fullness cues saying, Hey, we’re full. We don’t need any more. It’s just this little internal battle that’s going on. So anytime you start kind of panicking, trying to get that last few bites and you want it to taste good. Remember that’s actually a trigger that you’re full. And so just paying attention to that. And you know, ladies, I want to say this now, I’m going to say it again at the end, we’re going to give you four basics, but I want you to start with one. If you’re not in Transform Boss Weight Loss, you might not have all of the support and all of the tools and the videos and all the things to support you. And so I want to make sure that you don’t overwhelm yourself. You’re not going to start with all four. You’re going to pick one of the basics. You’re going to start with it. You’re going to do it. And then you’re going to keep upleveling until you know, you have it. Just one at a time. My love, don’t try to do all of them at one time. It’s too overwhelming. And I don’t want, I don’t want you to do that.

 

That leads me into our third fundamental, our third basic. And that is reflection work. Now for me, I mean, they’re all so important. It’s so tough. But this one for me has changed my life. Just in so many different areas of my life. Reflection work is different than journaling. Again, we’re going to put the original podcast in the show notes for you, but it’s just really about taking all of those kind of puddle thoughts, those limiting beliefs, those negative thoughts, and just throwing them down on a sheet of paper, getting them out of your head on a sheet of paper. It’s so simple. Every morning I take a sheet of paper and I just kind of dump out my brain. We call it a thought dump.

 

I just dump out the negative, the worry, the doubt, all of those things on a piece of paper. And then I just pick one thought. One thought to dive into it, to decide, okay, here’s what I’m thinking. So I’m thinking today, I’ll give you an example. I ate off plan yesterday. Let’s just say that happened to you. And then you’re thinking I’m a failure. I’m going to fail. So that thought is limiting, right? And then it makes you feel frustrated and then you want to overeat. So just writing that thought cycle down. Here’s my thought, here’s my feeling. This is what I do. And then you’re going to either allow yourself to just feel frustrated, which you can.

 

It’s good to feel all the feelings. Or you can decide that you want to think a one better thought. That’s what I like to call it. It’s just one better than that negative thought. So if the negative thought is I’m a failure, one better than that could be well, I’m learning how to have grace for myself. I’m learning how to lose weight in a way that is different. I’m learning how to have love and forgiveness for myself. Just something better. It doesn’t have to be, I love myself, everything is great, everything is wonderful. No, you know, rainbows and fairies. It’s just one better than that negative thought. And then throughout the day, when that negative thought comes in, you’re just going to quickly replace it with that one better thought.

 

This simple process, it takes me not even five minutes. I dump out my brain. I pick a thought, I do a thought feeling action, and then I just quickly think of a one better thought. I love to borrow them, right, from others too. I love for me, some of my favorite thoughts are everything is for me and I can figure anything out. And so whenever my brain is like in doubt, worry, my brain is like, oh my gosh, the sky is falling. I’m just like, I can figure this out. Everything is for me. And so I practice that thought throughout the day and it just brings calm to me.

 

So Jenn, reflection work, I know it’s been life-changing for you too. What would you tell the ladies about it? Reflection work is everything. Cause this thought model is what we base our coaching off of. And so it really has changed everything for me, not just, you know, my thoughts about weight, but in all aspects of my life. Reflection work is really where I start to ask myself questions. And when I can start to ask myself questions, that is when you get to shine a light on it. You get to most of the time see how silly your thoughts are. Because you know, like Shannan said, we think the sky is falling, and really, if we take a step back, it’s not.

 

One of my favorite things with doing a thought dump is writing out all my thoughts and then circling, what are facts and what are thoughts? Because what you’ll find will happen most of the time is you’ll circle probably two facts out of the 80 thoughts that you have. And these are just thoughts. And if you know anything about this work, if you’ve listened to any other podcasts, you know that just because we have a thought, it doesn’t make it true. We get to choose our thoughts. We get to choose what we want to believe. A tip that I would give, something that’s I mean, I love, love, love. Everything is for me. That is something I also use all the time.

 

But a tip, if you’re struggling to come up with a new thought, something that’s been very helpful for me and the ladies that I coach. So if your thought is I am a failure, taking that thought and your new thought could be something like I am learning that believing I’m a failure is not serving me or is not leading me to show up in the way I want, you just kind of flip your thought onto I’m learning that believing this old thought is not serving me. And I just find that so helpful if you’re struggling to come up with a new thought.

 

But I also want to touch on that I think that as Shannan mentioned, it’s so important that we allow ourselves time to sit in those feelings. Because for so long, I ran away from feelings of sadness and anger and frustration. And when you can just say, you can allow yourself and just say, you know, I’m just going to be angry for five minutes. I’m going to sit here or maybe the day you want to choose to stay angry, but then you’re being intentional about it. You’re not making any off comments, right? You’re not acting from this place. You’re just allowing yourself to feel it. And then when you’re ready, you can go move on to that next better thought.

 

I love that Jenn, feeling your feelings. We go deep into this in Transform Boss. Because ladies, we have been pushing down those feelings. We’ve been pushing them down with cupcakes and all the things. I mean, for me, cupcakes, it could be something else for you, but for sure, because we don’t want to feel it. And I love when Jenn just said, just sit with it, allow yourself to feel it without going and acting on it. Buffering because most of the time, this is what happens, ladies. When we don’t feel our feelings, we act. But the person who is usually the person we’re acting out against is ourselves. We’re overeating over-spending, over social media, over Netflixing, we’re doing things at our own expense.  And so just allowing yourself to feel the feelings, Ooh, that’s good. Ooh, I like it Jenn.

 

Okay. So our fourth and last basic or fundamental is what I like to call body basics. I mean, you know ladies, we got these beautiful bodies and they’re miracles. I don’t even know, they’re so miraculous. Like when you really research the body and the brain and how it all works together and all the things that your body is consistently readapting to and regenerating. And I mean, it’s honestly amazing. I would say 90%, you don’t even know, it’s just doing what it’s supposed to do, but your body needs some things. It needs sleep. It needs water, hydration. And it also needs breath, deep, relaxing breath.

 

Understanding that these are really important things. Sleep. You know my loves that’s when you really regenerate. It’s when your body repairs throughout the night. Hydration. Now I want to talk about hydration for a moment because you get water from food, of course your liquids and so on and so forth. And you being hydrated is important because when you are dehydrated, your body goes into survival mode. Your body goes into hold on to everything. We’re dying. Because if you don’t drink for three or four days, you will pass. Your body. You have to have hydration. And so the way that, you know, if you’re hydrated is just simply looking at your urine. Is it dark or medium dark? You probably need to get some water in.

 

Now you can get that water in from different sources. You can, you can get it from food, but you can get it from water. You can put in the little Crystal Light, I don’t know, the different little packets. But it’s a signal that your body needs hydration. You know, you just can’t live without it. And it’s so important in a weight loss journey, because what happens when you’re dehydrated, when you are sleep deprived, your body’s just going to send all sorts of fake signals. You’re hungry. You need to eat more. You’re going to go into that automatic part of your brain. And then it just feels more difficult. Sleep and hydration. So important. And breath. There are many times where I just take a deep breath. My brain is going quick. I feel super like, especially when I have a lot going on and I just take that breath.

 

So Jenn, body basics, so important. Any tips that you have for the ladies on how to incorporate this into just kind of their daily life? What comes to mind for me when I think back to when I started these basics and really focusing on them, when it comes to water, don’t think that you have to hit your 100 ounces of water or whatever, when you’re starting, right? If you’re just right now only drinking eight ounces, then maybe start with doubling that. Again, meeting yourself where you’re at is the quickest way to success. I think when we even with sleep, right, if you’re only getting four hours, don’t shoot for seven.

 

When we try to skip ahead and be where we want to be, we just stay stuck. And then we’re frustrated that we’re not meeting these expectations. And so the best thing is meeting yourself where you’re at now, and then slowly upleveling. One of the tips for water for me is just starting in the morning, first thing. I noticed a complete difference when I started drinking water the minute I wake up, even digestive wise, versus if I don’t. Some days it will be four o’clock and I will be like, no wonder I’m so thinking I’m hungry all day. I’m getting these hunger signals, but really it’s just thirst. It’s just that I’m dehydrated. And the same with sleep. I notice such a difference for me. I am and have always been a solid sleeper. I get seven to eight hours, but if I don’t get that, I notice that I just show up a completely different way the next day. And so some tips for that is just creating a routine at nighttime, whatever that looks like for you. Of course, I’m not fabulous at this always, but they say put electronics away, right? No TV. I still watch TV before bed, but I really do try to stay off social media, things like that, because I do notice a difference for me, you know, when my nose is stuck in my phone right before bed.

 

And breathing, I’m a big fan of breathing. I’ve noticed that when I can take the time, you know, when I’m feeling frustrated or overwhelmed and I take a step back, take some deep breaths, and then again, practice the thought that it really just does calm everything for me and lets me go back into what I’m doing and refocus, Ah, ladies, this is the thing about the basics, the fundamentals of what I teach. I know if you are a woman and you’ve been on the diet roller coaster for 5, 10, 20, 50, 60 years, you want to get off.

 

And the way for long-term weight loss is this slow process of reconnecting to your body, believing new things through reflection work, and throwing in some things that make it easier, like getting your sleep and getting your water. That is the process. I want to re-emphasize to just start with one. Pick, okay, I’m going to start with realistic plan or I’m going to start with becoming a scientist and just kind of see, you know, how food starts to feel in my body. Again, I don’t want you to do this every day either when you’re beginning, right? You know, we have this term that we call in Transform Boss, it’s called minimum baselines, and basically what that is, is, you know, instead of setting yourself up for failure, I’m going to do it every day.

 

You say, okay, I’m going to do it two out of the seven days or three out of the seven days. Ladies, I want you to have success, and to have success, you have to do this process slowly. And I know your brain is so used to like, no, I want it off. I want the weight off. How has that worked? I just want you to ask yourself that question, because I tell ladies you’re going to lose weight the fastest you’ve ever lost it because you’re going to lose it and keep it off for good. See, I was on the diet roller coaster for 38 years and this process took me about two, two and a half, and so it was the fastest compared to the 38 years of dieting, of losing and gaining and losing and yo-yo dieting.

 

And so I just want something different for you. Jenn, what tip would you have for a lady who is new to us? Who’s just starting to learn this work, what would you tell her? I would say to give yourself grace. And remind yourself that you’re learning something new. And with that comes failure, comes figuring new things out. Right? Trying different ways. And it’s not going to be perfect. I mean, it will never be perfect. You know, there’s going to be times that you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, but that’s okay, because you don’t, you’re just learning. Just reminding yourself and giving yourself the credit that you are trying something different and new, even though you might be scared anyway. Keep showing up day by day, step-by-step and you’ll get there. And lean into the community that we provide, the support that we provide. Even if you’re not in Transform there’s other avenues to still get support, but just keep showing up.

 

Yeah, you got this my love. Jenn, Thank you for coming on. I love when Jenn comes and joins us. If you want to take this work deeper, start with my free course. It’s a great way. I talk about the three basics, three of the four. Just so again, you can go deeper into this work. So you can go to freebosscourse.com. And I will talk to you next week. All right, bye for now.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women.  If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #149: The Fear of Gaining It Back

Ep #149: The Fear of Gaining It Back

Join me in this episode as I dive dep into the fear around gaining the weight back and how to believe new things.

To get off the diet rollercoaster you have to start becoming aware of your thoughts and then learn to believe new things.

Whether you are fearing gaining your weight back, or if you haven’t even lost a pound, or you’re on a plateau, or you’ve lost your weight, I will give you 5 tips around that fear of gaining the weight back.               

Believing new things, learning how to heal your relationship with food, it is the way to long term weight loss.

Because you are beautiful and amazing right now today. The number on the scale does not define you or your worth.

If you want to take this work deeper than go take my free course at freebosscourse.com.

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How your thinking will always be the determining factor in your results, in your outcomes
  • How to start to identify with who you are today – not your old identity
  • How to lose weight in a way that you can always do, eating all the foods

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 149. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Ooh 149 ladies. I can’t believe it. Hello my love. So happy to be here with you today. We have new ladies in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and I am just loving them up. We also in August have our Transform Boss live this month. I love it. It’s twice a year. We do a virtual event just for ladies who are in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and it’s a half day event with the ladies, oh, I just can’t even. And this theme in August is all about becoming the hero of your own story. Ladies, it’s going to be good.

 

So, you know, I love this topic because I think for so many women, including myself, we have this fear of gaining the weight back. Because we have. And we felt so much shame about, you know, when we gained weight back. It was, you know, people could see it. They knew that we had failed, and it was on the outside of us. And so when I was losing weight, I had failed so many times. I would lose a few pounds and then shoot, I’d gain it back in a weekend. Or I would buckle down, lose 50 pounds, and gain it back over the next year. I did this so many times and I developed this fear of “what if I gain it back?” and that’s in quotation marks.

 

So what would happen is I would not even really start to “try again.” Or if I did, I was kind of halfway in. I want you to ask yourself right now, you can pause this or just ask yourself in your head, do I fear that if I lose my weight, I’ll gain it back? Or will I gain back the weight that I’ve already lost? Just ask yourself that question, and just see what pops in your head. It’s important to know what just popped in your head so that you can be aware of your thinking. Because your thinking will always be the determining factor in your results, in your outcomes.

 

If you want to lose weight and get off the diet rollercoaster for good, you have to one, be aware of your thoughts, and two, start believing new things. I see this with my bosses. You know, they’re losing weight, or they’ve lost it, they’re in maintenance, but they are anchored into some old identity that did not have the tools or the support that they have now. So they start to have this fear.

 

See what happens is you can anchor yourself into an old identity. And it’s so important to understand this. For many, many years, I anchored myself into the identity of a 22-year-old single mom who was overweight and didn’t know what to do. I love her when I think about my 22-year-old self, but it’s not who I am today. My thinking, my actions, my beliefs they’ve changed. And so I had to start to identify with who I am today. I had to find the successes that are really happening, not the old beliefs. See, you’re always evolving, you’re changing.

 

And our brains, a lot of the times, they just don’t reconcile with who we are. Remember, our brain is always scanning for danger, and we have all the old memories and beliefs that are stored in our automatic brain. And so our brain can get anchored into some old version of ourselves, even though that’s just not even who we are anymore. As you’re learning my process to get off the diet rollercoaster and lose weight for the very last time, as you’re deciding to believe new things, you have to start believing that you’re losing it for the last time.

 

This belief that I’m not going to gain it back, that you’re losing it in a way that you can always do, how you’re losing it is how it’s always going to be. I saw a post the other day on social media of someone who had lost weight, was feeling super proud. She’s absolutely gorgeous. This is someone who I’m just, you know, acquaintances with, it’s outside of my process, and she said this statement that she’d start reintroducing carbs once she had lost the weight. I love her. And I hope that she keeps it off for good. But my initial thought was, oh no, she’s not losing it in a way that she can always do.

 

See in my experience, if you don’t lose it in a way that you can always do, eating all the foods, healing your relationship with food so you don’t have fear, so your body also gets accustomed to losing weight and maintaining weight eating all the foods that you enjoy, that you like, what happens is you’ll lose the weight and then you’ll start to eat like you did prior to losing the weight, even if you don’t eat as much, but you’ll start to regain it. And this is so important, because losing your weight, believing new things, learning how to heal your relationship with food, it is the way to long term weight loss. If you are fearing gaining your weight back, whether you haven’t even lost a pound, you’re on a plateau, or you’ve lost your weight, here are five just tips I have for you.

 

One, ask yourself the question, is this a fear that I have? Do I fear gaining the weight back? And how is it affecting me? See, this awareness is just the first step. Understanding that this could be a fear that you have that is actually sabotaging your weight loss, it’s actually keeping you from moving forward. Or maybe you’re starting to gain weight back, and just understanding that it’s just coming from a fear from an old belief.

 

Two, find the successes that you have today and who you are today. Identify with who you have become, not some old version of yourself. Three, lose weight slowly. Really slowly, methodically, by healing your relationship with food and yourself. Four, lose weight in a way that you can always do, eating all the foods. Do not diet. My love, stop the quick fixes. They do not work for long-term weight loss. Look at any study. Look at the percentages of folks who lose weight long-term. They just do not work. And number five, give yourself some love and grace. Because you are beautiful and amazing right now today. The number on the scale does not define you or your worth.

 

And if you want to take this work deeper than go take my free course at freebosscourse.com. It’s where I take this work deeper. So good, and teach you my basics. All right my love. I will see you next week. Talk to you for a very especial 150th episode. I can’t wait. Join me next week. Bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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Ep #148: How to Start Losing Weight for The Last Time

EP 148: How to Start Losing Weight for the Last Time

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into how to start.

For most of us I am sure we have been on the diet rollercoaster for a very long time. And if you are anything like me, I know you are so tired of it.

I will teach you about my process – one that is filled with success and failure.

I know we have all been searching for that magical pill, potion or diet.

I will explain how the magic is within you!

If you want to lose weight for the last time, then you have to do it slowly, you have to change your mindset – what you believe along the way.

And if you want to go deeper in this work, take my free course at freebosscourse.com

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • How to stop putting yourself off
  • How doing too much in the beginning only causes you to quit
  • What up-leveling is and how slowly up-leveling leads to success

Featured on the Show:

  • Take my free mini course where I teach my fundamentals
  • Follow me on Instagram!
  • To learn more about my fundamentals listen to previous podcasts episodes #6 and #106 (Realistic Plan); #9 and #107 (Becoming the Scientist of Your Body), #11 and #108 (Body Basics), and #19 and #105 (Reflection Work)

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 148. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach Shannan Christiansen.

Hello my love. I am so happy to be here with you today. I hope you’re having a beautiful summer. It’s kind of monsoon season here. In Arizona, we have a lot of like overcast, lots of humidity. So it’s not my favorite month. I always say don’t come in August or late July because I can deal with hot, but when you add a little humanity into it, woo hoo, it’s horrible. So that’s kind of what, but it’s nice. I like the storms. That’s always fun to see the storms and get a little tiny bit of rain, even though it’s only been kinda, I dunno, spitting a little bit. It’s not full rain, but you know, I’ll take it. I’ll take it.

I’m excited, getting ready, next week, going to the east coast. I have not been there on the east coast for a good bit. So I’m excited. I’m a little nervous with all the travel delays. I know the airlines are really struggling right now. A little nervous, but it will all be good. And I think, you know, we’re going to have a fabulous time in NYC and excited to just kind of be for a couple of days and rest and relax with my husband. Right. So good.

So today, I want to really get into how to start. And I thought about this episode because for most women who are listening to me, you probably have been on the diet rollercoaster for a really long time, anywhere from 5, 10, 15, you know, 30, 40, 50 years. And we’ve started a lot, failed a lot. You know, I was on the diet rollercoaster for almost 38 years.

I think about that, 38 years of looking for the next quick fix and having some success along the way. I’d lose weight and then eventually gain it back. I always was hopeful. I do have to say that, you know, I know so many of you still, there’s some piece of you that is hopeful. And I know for some of you, you’re just so tired of it.

I remember when I was getting ready to go back to the last kind of quick fix that I did. I remember when I decided I wasn’t going to diet anymore and that I had had enough, it was a pretty monumental decision and it came from frustration. But it also came from hope. I just knew there had to be a different way. And I knew that it had to do something with my mind.

You know, I always loved self-help, I’ve loved self-help for as long as I can remember, I’ve watched all the great teachers and thought leaders. I’ve loved them all and learned something from them all. And I just knew that somehow that was tied to weight loss. And I knew too, that losing weight and getting off the diet roller coaster and really losing it for the last time, it was going to be a process that was one, going to be really slow.

And two, it was going to be filled with success and failure. You know my loves, I think wherever you’re at in this journey, whether you have lost some weight, whether you are upset because you’re the heaviest you’ve ever been, whether you are on a plateau, whether you have lost all your weight and you’re in maintenance, I just want to tell you that to really get off the diet rollercoaster and to start this journey of losing the mental and physical weight for the very last time, it starts with this process of believing new things. Starting to believe that the way to get off this diet roller coaster is really all within you.

It is two pieces. It is healing your relationship with food and healing your relationship with yourself. It has to do with mindset change and it has to do with reconnection to your body. You know, I tell my ladies all the time in Transform Boss, our bodies are miracles, every part of our bodies are miracles. And when you can start to, you know, reconnect with yourself and reconnect with your body and you can start to feel your natural hunger and fullness cues, when you can allow negative emotion and not have to buffer it away, that that becomes the magic my love. I know we’ve been searching for the magical pill, potion, diet, but it’s not in there. It’s within you.

And you know, if you’ve been thinking, okay, I really want to start, or I want to continue this journey of losing weight for the last time, I want to give you some reasons why it can feel hard to start this journey. I think number one, we, as women, have learned to put ourselves off and we do this because two things I think. One, we have this feeling that we need to be perfect, that we need to do it all, that we need to do 52 things. You know, then our brain starts to tell us it’s complicated.

And then two, we start feeling overwhelmed. And if you’re a woman, you probably already feel overwhelmed. You have all the things, all the responsibilities and all the different roles. And so this thought of learning how to heal the relationship with yourself and heal the relationship with food, it can start to feel overwhelming. And then add on that you like to be perfect, you want to do it perfectly, you just can continue to put yourself off. You can keep pushing “the start date.”

And number two, you start, but you do too much, so you try to do all the things. You know, I’m going to meal prep, I’m gonna eat this diet food. I’m going to exercise every single day. I’m going to journal. I’m going to meditate. I’m going to read and listen and learn. And I don’t know, all the things my love. I think about it, if you’ve ever read that like 75 Hard, it’s the new quick fix out there. I don’t know. There’s like all these different things. I’m like, holy moly. So that’s what I’m talking about. You start, but you do too much. So you burn out. And this is another thing. Your body is a very delicate thing.

And what I mean by that is there’s a lot of functions, a lot of things, and when you do too many changes to your body at once, it doesn’t know what’s going on. And so it kind of goes into survival mode. And so then you get frustrated because your body’s not responding like how you want it to respond. And so again, you start, but you do too much.

Now there’s a third way. And this is how I think you start your journey to losing weight for the last time. You start really slowly. I have a bunch of new ladies who are in Transform Boss Weight Loss, and I take them through this 21-day challenge. And I know at first they just want to jump in, so many of them, and they want to do all the things.

And I start them out really slowly. I, you know, they have these very, you know, 5 minute to 10 minute things that they have to do every day. And it’s very simplistic. And you know, I’ve even had some of them like, wait, this is it? Like, trust me, trust me. This is what I always ask them to do is just trust the process.

It is so important as you start to lose weight for the last time that you start slowly and that you understand that you’re not going to do any of it perfectly. And you pick one thing. One thing. So for all of my new bosses, they’re doing the challenge. They’ve chosen one thing to focus on, and they’re doing this 21-day challenge in Transform Boss Weight Loss. Now, if you’re not in Transform Boss Weight Loss, pick one of my basics. I have four of them: realistic plan, body basics, which is like sleep and water, I have reflection work, which is all of the thought cycle and thought work. And then your hunger and fullness. Pick one, not all four. Just pick one.

And we’ll put it in the show notes so you can go in and see some of the basics. But you just start with one. This is so important because you will want to do all of them. And again, when I was talking about starting and talking about the first and the second thing, whether you put yourself off or you do too much, again, this, the third way that I’m teaching you now, is so that you can start. Your brain is going to resist the slowness, because it’s different than what you’ve done before. You’re going to have all these thoughts around, it’s not enough. I need to do more. How am I going to lose weight? But I promise you this, from what I know, from what I’ve experienced, what I’ve seen with my clients, the ladies who go slowly, they pick a basic, they start slowly and then they start failing, they start learning. They get community support. They start to make small up levels of small changes. Those are the ladies that have the most success.

You know my love. We want the success and we want it so quickly. It’s how we’re wired. We just need to know that, you know, this process of starting with one thing, doing it, and then slowly upleveling, it is everything. Now, what is an uplevel? An uplevel is just where you make one minor change. So for example, you leave a bite on your plate. You, you know, you make your realistic plan, but you know, this week you’re only doing it two days out of the seven. And then next week, you’re going to add in another day, or, you know, you’re going to check in with your hunger and fullness one meal a day, and then maybe next week you’re gonna do one meal, and a snack.

Upleveling is just making a minor change. To start to lose weight for the last time you have to start slowly. You have to do it imperfectly. You have to have community support. And you have to slowly uplevel. And you know, if you really want to do this, I will say this over and over and over again, you have to do it slowly. You have to change your mindset, again, what you believe along the way. Because you are capable of learning new things, of creating new habits. Our brain is amazing. We just can’t do it all at once. So this old, you know, adage that the tortoise beats the hare, well my love, every single time.

If you want to take this work deeper, take my free course at freebosscourse.com. All right, my love. Talk to you next week. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

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EP #147: Reinforcements from Soundtracks by Jon Acuff

EP 147: Reinforcements from Soundtracks by Jon Acuff

You will not want to miss this episode!

Join me in this episode as I dive deep into the 5 concepts I learned from the book Soundtracks by Jon Acuff that really reinforce what I teach about weight loss.

I will explain what these broken soundtracks are and how they do not serve you.

For so long, for many of us, we think the reason we cannot lose weight is outside of us, but I will teach you how this is just not true.

 We will always have these broken soundtracks, these thought errors, but I show what you can do when those thoughts come in.

I will give you 3 simple questions to ask yourself to challenge these old broken soundtracks.

You know, I failed in weight loss so many times – until I didn’t.

Are you ready to learn a different way to get off the diet rollercoaster for good?

And if you want to go deeper in this work, take my free course at freebosscourse.com

In today’s episode, you will discover:

  • Just because you have a thought does not make it true
  • How to talk to yourself more than you listen
  • How awareness leads to your weight loss success

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen episode number 147. Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, fortune 100 executive, and certified life coach, Shannan Christiansen.

 

Hello my love. So happy to be here with you today. So excited, I have had the most fun week. So as I’m recording this, we just wrapped up the challenge, our launch we opened, and it was so fun. I love all the challenge groups, but we just had so many amazing women. We have had so many women join Transform Boss Weight Loss, and you know, my team and I we’ve been so excited and we of course always think about our women and want the very best for them.

 

And it’s just exciting to watch women learn that there is a different way. I think for so long, I just was wrapped up in diet culture. It was almost my little blanket and I was wrapped up in it and it was just, Ooh, it was hot in there. It was causing me a lot of grief. I have to tell you, right? I mean, this diet rollercoaster of being on a diet, being off a diet, wondering what I should eat, what I shouldn’t eat. And when I see so many women and I hear their stories, I just want to send all of you ladies love today because that’s where it starts.

 

Honestly, it’s where it all begins. And it’s just this love for yourself, acceptance for yourself. And it’s this process of healing your relationship with food, with yourself, and it is the absolute best work. So I have to say to all my challenge ladies, all my new bosses, I love you ladies. And I’m really excited to watch your journey.

 

So I have to tell you, ladies, I am getting excited though. Paul and I, we are headed to New York City next week. I’m going out east for a work trip, and so we’re going to take the train up to New York and I’m just excited about it. We haven’t been to New York City, you know, since pre-pandemic it’s been, I dunno, maybe even four years, I think. And I’m just excited to get up there, feel a little buzz of the city. We’re going to go see a play and just walk around Central Park and just hang out and have fun, eat some good food. New York always delivers on that, for sure. So getting excited. You know ladies, rest, recovery, it’s so important and I am for sure going to spend those days resting and recovering and having fun.

 

And I know we need more fun in our lives ladies, but it’s the everyday fun, it’s, you know, I think about this, especially with Transform Bosses, you know, just creating this life that has a lot of pleasure, that has a lot of fun. We always try to make things fun in Transform Boss, because weight loss has been so hard and heavy, and it is deep, but fun.

 

It just has to be a part of all the things we do. How can we make it fun? How can we make it simple? So today’s episode, I think it’s going to be a fun one for sure. We did a book club back in, I want to say it was in June I think, I know time goes so fast. I barely can remember, but I’m pretty sure it was in June in Transform Boss Weight Loss. So we do book clubs a few times a year and we did this book, it’s called Soundtracks and the author is Jon Acuff. He’s written several books, and in Transform Boss Weight Loss, we love him. We do a couple of his books and this was the first time we ever did Soundtracks.

 

And it was really, you know, I really enjoyed the book. It was really, when I think about this book, it really reinforced so much of what I taught. You know, I told my ladies, I’m like, oh my goodness, I feel like he’s in my brain because, you know, as I was reading the book for the first time, just earlier, not even a couple months ago, I was like, whoa, like I just felt like we were on the same wavelength, but I love the way that he teaches. I love the examples that he gives. And he’s super funny. I highly recommend his book.

 

But I want to share with you five concepts that he talks about in the book. But also I just want to kind of relate them to weight loss and to the things that I teach. Number one, the whole book, it’s called Soundtracks and what he means by that is your thoughts. I know it all comes back to your thoughts ladies. Part of my brain is always like, oh, I wish it was something different, but yeah, it’s our thoughts. So Jon describes our thoughts as soundtracks. And I like to think of this and how I teach it is it’s like a jukebox, right? But it had all these records, right? All of these soundtracks. And that’s kind of how your brain is. You have all of these different soundtracks. These records that have just been playing in the background.

 

I love what he said. He said, they’re secretly shaping your life. This is important because I, for some so long myself, I was thinking about, you know, when I was on the diet rollercoaster, I really looked at all the things outside of me. I blamed my genetics, my mother. I always told myself, I didn’t have enough time. I was always looking for an external way to lose weight, you know, through a diet plan or an exercise plan. And it really was never any of that. It was always the way that I was thinking about it. It was these soundtracks that were playing in the back of my brain, and they are playing in the background.

 

You know, part of our brain is our automatic brain. It is our habit brain, and it stores so many of our memories, our beliefs. And a belief is just a thought on repeat. So whenever you have a thought and you think it over and over, and you build evidence for it, it becomes a belief. And so you have all of these beliefs that are just playing in the back. And what happens is, as I teach, you have a thought, and then it causes a feeling in your body, and then you do, or you don’t do something. And really understanding that this is what’s shaping your life. We think it’s out of our control, but the one thing I’ve learned, I don’t control anyone else. I know, I wish I did, but I don’t.

 

But the one thing that I do control is the way that I think about something. And your awareness as you’re losing weight for the last time is so important. You starting to become aware of these thoughts that are just playing in the back of your brain. Thoughts like you’ll never lose weight, you’re always going to fail. Look at your mother, look at your genetics. Look at your health problems. These thoughts are causing feelings in your body, like frustration, disappointment. And when you feel that way, you end up in the pantry, you end up overeating. You make a plan for the day and then suddenly you’re eating something you didn’t want to eat.

 

So just understanding that you have these well, as Jon says soundtracks, and they are secretly shaping your life. Number two, broken soundtracks, I call them thought errors. But these are just these thoughts that we have, and we believe them. We think they’re true, but I just want to offer this to you. This is something that my teacher, Brooke, she said when I very first was learning from her and it has stuck with me ever since. Just because you have a thought does not make it true. I know, right? So you have these thoughts, these beliefs that have just been percolating in your brain. And so many of them are just broken soundtracks. They’re just thought errors. They’re not the truth. They don’t serve you. And so understanding and challenging those thoughts. I love this.

 

You know, I teach ladies talk to yourself more than you listen, because you’re going to have these thoughts. They’re not going to go away. You know, I’ll tell you, they’re just not, you’re always going to have some whisper of some old broken soundtrack, of some old thought error, but when it comes, you just replace it with, okay love, we got this, or you’re one-better thought, your new thought that you want to practice and you just do it over and over again. I talk to myself all the time in my brain and sometimes out loud. And I replace these old broken soundtracks with new beliefs, new thoughts.

 

Number three, this is my favorite actually. So I do reflection work every morning where I just dump out my brain and I just, you know, go through my thoughts and I pick a thought and I pick a broken soundtrack and then I do a thought cycle. And then I replace the thought. But I love the way that Jon has these three simple questions. So if you don’t know what reflection work is, first go back to episode 19 at bflycoaching.com/19. Or you can just search wherever you listen to podcasts and find episode 19, so you know what reflection work is. I teach it in that episode.

 

But there are three simple questions to ask and to challenge your broken soundtrack. Here are the three questions and I love it. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? So you dump out your thoughts you’ve done about your brain on a piece of paper, and there is the thought that you’re having is I’m just going to fail again at weight loss. Then you just ask, is it true? Well, I don’t know. You might not know yet. Right? So, okay. We’ll leave that. Is it helpful to think I can’t lose weight? I don’t think it’s helpful. How’s that helpful? It’s not helpful. It just keeps you feeling discouraged and disappointment. But this last question is everything. Is it kind? It’s not kind to think that. It’s not kind to, you know, look at your journey and judge it.

 

And you know, I failed so many times in weight loss until I didn’t. And all of those times, all of the diets I tried, everything led me to search out the process that I have today. I wouldn’t change any of it. And so really challenging these broken soundtracks, these thought errors that you have, and you can do it with these three simple questions. I love it. It’s my favorite part of the book by Jon. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?

 

Number four, borrow from the best. I love this too. You want to start to practice new thoughts, new beliefs, and it’s okay to borrow from others. I love this thought, everything is for me. I heard it many, many years ago and I have practiced it probably five years now. I just love this thought. One of the thoughts that Jon has is pivot don’t panic. And I love that thought. So anytime you feel like, oh, I just made a mistake or had a failure or overate, pivot don’t panic. I like to call it the next best action. That’s how I teach it. But I do like this thought about pivoting and not panicking, because sometimes you’re going to overeat. Sometimes you’re going to have challenges. Sometimes you’re going to find that you want to give up on yourself. And all you need to do is take the next best action, pivot, don’t panic.

 

Here are some other thoughts that you can borrow as you’re starting your journey or continuing your journey to lose weight for the last time. I’m learning how to heal my relationship with food. My journey, my time. That’s from our favorite Nancy Castelli. Light and easy. This is from Jon, but I love this one because my brain loves to go to the hard. So just asking or replacing with, oh, this is fun, this is simple. I got this. So good.

 

And number five, absolutes are not true. I love this too, because you know, we talk in absolutes a lot. Like everything is going wrong. Nothing is going my way. I always fail. Nothing ever works out. And absolutes are just not true. Really. Nothing is 100% always going to be that way. It’s just not. And so when you talk in absolutes, it’s just a trigger to realize that that could be a broken soundtrack, and it’s a great way to catch yourself and then practice that new one better thought. Ladies, I highly recommend the book Soundtracks from Jon Acuff. I think it really does help in this journey to losing weight for the last time.

 

Because it starts with identifying and becoming aware of all of those broken soundtracks and replacing them with new one-better thoughts. See love, when you believe something different, you feel something different, and then you do something different. If you keep thinking the same things, you’re going to keep feeling the same way, and keep doing the same thing. We all know the definition of insanity is just doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

 

This is what I loved about the challenge ladies, and the ladies who are newer to this work. It’s understanding that there is a different way. There’s a different way than being on the diet rollercoaster. If you want to go deeper in this work my love take my free course. I talk about my basics. Go to freebosscourse.com. And subscribe to this podcast every week in your library. So when you subscribe or you hit the plus button, I’ll be right there, right there for you on Wednesday morning.

 

All right, my love. Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. See you next week.

 

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