Ep #17: 50-50: How to Embrace the Positive and Accept the Negative

I’m coming off the back of a pretty crazy week. Between taking my daughter-in-law to the hospital, my husband being in a minor car accident, and noticing some fraud on my bank account, I was also grappling with the launch of my new program. It was a week full of emotion, for sure. However, it really reaffirmed my belief in today’s topic.

Life throws a lot of challenges our way and it’s impossible to feel totally positive 100% of the time. However, if we embrace the idea that every aspect of life has to be 50% good and 50% bad, then we will always be well-equipped to cope when things start going in a direction we didn’t expect.

Tune in this week as I share why, even though we want it, nothing in life is ever 100% positive for long, and how accepting the inevitability that we will experience negative emotion will help you avoid reaching for that cupcake when things do get stressful.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What if you knew it was always going to be 50-50 and the cupcake would never change it?
  2. What if you could expect negative emotion? What would it change for you?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini-course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why life is supposed to be 50% good and 50% bad.
  • How our lizard brain tries to keep us happy 100% of the time.
  • The ways I see people struggle to accept the negative 50% of life.
  • How you can embrace the 50-50 balance and avoid buffering, even when things around you seem stressful.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 17.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, love. I am so excited to be back today. I love these podcasts and I love recording them and spending some time with you. So, in today’s episode, we are going to talk about 50-50 and 50-50 is all about positive and negative emotion.

And you know, negative emotion is just part of everything. And so we’re going to talk a lot about that today. And as always, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions to start taking action today. But first, of course, I want to give a listener shout-out. This is where I’ll read a review of the podcast every single week.

And this week’s shout-out goes to Lion Puppy, or Amy L, “Thank you, Shannan, I love your podcast. Your coaching has been so helpful to me. Amy L.” Thank you so much, Amy. I am loving all the reviews, ladies. I just love that you ladies are listening. And if you love this show, please rate and review the show. I would so appreciate it. and don’t forget to subscribe so every Wednesday I’ll be in your podcast library.

Loves, this week has been so amazing, wonderful, and kind of crazy. You know, we opened and closed our doors to Jumpstart. I mean, we have so many #JanuaryJumpstarters. They’re starting their first week this week. So exciting. And I had so much fun.

So all of you ladies that showed up for the free trainings, the lives, I mean, honestly, just spending time with all the ladies, it’s one of my favorite things. But, loves, let me tell you, on Thursday of the launch, my son called me in the morning and he said, “Hey, mom…” and I had my whole day planned out, full of trainings and content writing.

And he said, “My wife…” my daughter in-law, “She’s sick. Can you take her to the hospital?” And, of course, I was like, “Of course.” He was going to stay home with my grandbabies. So, I take my daughter in-law to the emergency room.

And let me just say, everything is okay. But, you know, we spent about four hours there, and they took care of her, and now she’s feeling much better and everything is good. But then, I had a few trainings, and in between all of that, I notices a bunch of fraud on one of my bank accounts.

So then, ladies, in between all of the stuff that was going on, I had to call the bank and take care of all of that. And then, ladies, on Friday – so that was Thursday. And then, on Friday, we had a team meeting. And my son, he couldn’t talk. And I was like, “Son, what’s wrong?” And he’s like, “Mom…” he barely could talk.

He almost bit his tongue off. My sweet grandbaby jumped on him and my son almost bit his own tongue off. I’m not even kidding. So, I’m like, holy-moly. And then, the cheery on top, loves – this is on Friday – my husband, right after I got off the phone with my son, my husband called me and said he was in a car accident.

Again, no one hurt, everything will be okay. But honestly, love, all of this was within two days, right in the middle of my launch. And you know, loves, everything turned out okay, but it actually leads me right into today’s topic, 50-50.

You know, our lizard brains want us to be comfortable and want us to be happy. I mean, we’re always taught that we’re searching for happiness. And our lizard brains want us to stay safe, so we’re consistently pushing against or avoiding negative or uncomfortable emotion.

We’re taught that we should be happy. And honestly, everything that we do is because we want to feel a certain way. So, you know, we fall in love because we want to feel love. I exercise because I want to feel strong and capable. We go to school and get educations because we want to feel confident. We eat to feel comfort. I mean, we have friends because we want to feel like we belong.

And, loves, when we overeat, we’re trying to feel comfortable, safe, love, sometimes we’re just trying to avoid boredom and we’re trying to feel busy. Because we’re never taught to look at our thoughts and feelings, honestly, we’ve just been on this diet rollercoaster for years.

But negative and uncomfortable emotion is the other side. Everything balances out. It’s kind of like yin and yang, positive and negative. Life is supposed to be 50-50. We’re not always supposed to be happy, and we’re striving so that we can feel happy, so we can feel that we belong, and so that we can feel all these positive emotions.

And then, we have all of this other stuff that’s negative and what we try to do is buffer. We try to push that negative emotion down. And when we do that – and for most of us who re listening to this podcast, it’s all about food. And so, we use food to push the negative emotion down.

But you know, loves, life, it’s supposed to be 50-50. And you know, I used to – when I first heard this – my brain instantly went to, “No, 70-30.” But honestly, the more deep I go into this work, the more I work on myself, I realize it’s 50-50.

Now, some days are 90-10 and some days are 10-90. But in the end, I really truly believe it all balances out. I see this so much when my Jumpstarters start. They want to be happy. They want to feel freedom. And they want to be positive all the time.

They struggle with accepting or expecting the negative 50%. I know because, loves, I did this for so much of my life. I did not want to feel the pain, so I just kept pushing it down with a cupcake. But you know, love, that it just comes up. I mean, it comes up with a greater force than when I pushed it back down.

And so, when I accept that I can feel negative or uncomfortable emotion, I’m less likely to avoid, buffer or resist it. So, when I know that I can feel frustration, irritation, shame, uncomfortable, then the less likely I am to eat the cupcake to avoid the negative emotion. I mean, Thursday and Friday, I mean, it was just a rollercoaster of emotion.

I was having so much fun with the ladies and then I had all of these other things happening. And I still realized that I could feel the negative emotion. I could feel the stress when I saw all the fraud on our bank account. I could feel stressful when I was sitting in the emergency room and I could feel uncomfortable when I was waiting to ensure that my daughter in-law was okay. And I don’t have to eat the cupcake.

And, loves, when I know that my son has a 50-50 life too, I know that I can’t protect him from it, he has to experience his 50-50 life. I’m serious when I say this, love, it saves me so much drama and worry. I mean, I wanted him to go to the hospital when he thought that he had bit his tongue pretty much off.

I wanted to take care of him. I wanted him to feel better. But I could not. He had to go through the physical pain and some stress with his tongue. So, knowing that I have a 50-50 life means that I don’t have to be perfect. I can have a bad moment; I can feel shame and take the next best action.

When I know that no feeling will ever kill me and that I have the tools to cope with anything, I have more confidence. I know that I’m going to feel negative emotion. And hear me, ladies, hear me when I say this; I expect it.

I expect negative emotion. And by expecting it, I do not buffer or avoid it or push it down like a beachball. When I know that I’ll have failure and I feel shame about it, I can grow. I can learn from it.

In growing this business, I have so many times where my lizard brain wants me to quit. The times the tech feels hard or I have to be vulnerable. But I know that this business is 50-50; 50% amazing and wonderful, like when I get an email from a client that feels like she has hope again for the first time or that’s he finally feels some love for herself, and 50% it’s learning all the tech and feeling overwhelmed.

And when we start to expect the 50-50, life gets easier. We learn that we can feel emotion. We can allow it and we can move on. It’s so freeing. I am a human. I have a human brain. And I am imperfectly perfect. I’m learning, growing, and evolving. And that is how it’s supposed to be, 50-50.

So, the transformational questions today, what if you knew that it was always going to be 50-50 and the cupcake would never change it? And number two, what if you could expect negative emotion, what would it change for you?

Okay, loves, so much love to you.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. It’s a free mini course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #16: 4 Beliefs that Are Stopping You from Losing Weight

Loves, I want to talk about what’s keeping us stuck and the beliefs that we hold that are stopping us from losing weight. Limiting beliefs are nothing new, but it might surprise you how they’re showing up undetected.

Especially over the holidays, we make excuses for why we are eating off-plan. I did this for years. And if we don’t check in on our limiting thoughts, we can actually make these mistakes all year round and not even realize that our lack of progress is completely self-inflicted.

Tune in this week as I discuss the four most common limiting-beliefs when it comes to weight loss and how to become the watcher of these unhelpful thoughts so that you can catch them as they come up for you and look at what you can believe instead.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What are your limiting thoughts?
  2. How do they keep you from taking action?
  3. Do you take negative action when you have a limiting thought?

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free mini course. Click here for more information.


What You’ll Discover:

  • How some limiting beliefs don’t always seem limiting on the surface.
  • 4 of the most problematic limiting beliefs that we have around weight loss.
  • How to become the watcher of your thoughts to observe and change your limiting beliefs.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 16.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, love. I am just so excited to be back with you again today. I haven’t recorded an episode in a couple weeks and I’m just excited to be back in front of the mic.

So, in today’s episode, we are going to talk about limiting thoughts, and honestly, how tricky they can be. And as always, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions so you can start taking action today.

But as always, I want to give a listener shout-out. And this week’s listener shout-out is to #BFLYlover. I mean, the name alone, I’m in love with, “I just listened to your first podcast from October. I swear you are telling my story. I have been through one of your changes and just started the second. I’m looking forward to learning how to change my brain when it comes to al of these diets I’ve tried. Nothing has worked, and now I know why. I’m so glad I found you, Shannan, and BFLY.”

I mean, I love that review. It is so sweet. And I love that you ladies are listening. I really appreciate it. and if you love the show, please rate and review the show. I would so appreciate it. And also, subscribe so that every Wednesday I’m just in your podcast library.

So, ladies, as I record this it is January 1st, I just cannot believe we are in 2020. We’re beginning a new decade. I mean, it is just so crazy to me. I mean, I’ve already had so much fun to day, I did two of my free trainings and a Facebook live. And honestly, outside of my family and my grandbabies, it is just my favorite thing. I just love being with all you ladies. And I hope all of you had an amazing holiday.

I mean, it was crazy cold here in Arizona. I mean crazy cold. And so much rain. We have received days and days of rain, which I live in a desert, so I’m not used to all of this. Now, I know I’m complaining, but I’m an Arizona girl and it’s been, like, in the 30s and 40s. I mean, I have so much empathy for all of you who live in the north or the east.

So, we just really relaxed over Christmas break. We spent a lot of time, because it was raining and cold, in the house, resting, and it was just what I needed. I really needed to recharge my battery, and that’s what I did. And I just had the best time. My husband and I, just relaxing. It was the best. And of course, some G-baby time here and there.

So, on this episode, I’m going to dive into limiting thoughts. These are sneaky thoughts that the lizard brain that we have that we think are serving us. We think these thoughts are okay. But honestly, love, they are really sabotaging our weight loss.

And I talked about self-sabotage in episode number four, so if you haven’t listened to it, be sure to listen to it. But I really wanted to dive into some of the trickiest thoughts we have. And I want you to notice these thoughts because they are triggers to sabotaging behavior.

And one of the tools I teach is to become a watcher of your thoughts. It’s so important, ladies, to start noticing all the different thoughts you have running around. I mean, seriously, loves, that lizard is tricky.

The first thought that I want to talk about today and that I believe really limits us and keeps us stuck on the diet rollercoaster is, “I deserve this.” It’s a limiting thought. It sounds okay, but really, love, it is self-pity. It’s a way for us to excuse a bad behavior. It’s a thought that leads to overeating or overspending, I mean, all of the things that keep us from achieving our goals.

The truth is, if we deserve it, we will already have it. and honestly, love, what we truly deserve is a healthy body, love for ourselves, love for our bodies. That is what we truly deserve. So, loves, watch it. I mean, mine used to come on a Friday night. It would be the end of the week, and suddenly, I would have the thought, “Well I’ve been good all week. I deserve this cupcake.”

Love, it was so sabotaging. It’s just another way that we sabotage our success, and we have to really honestly realize when we’re saying, “I deserve this,” and watching that thought and then watching the actions that we take after we think that thought. Loves, it is so important.

The next one is, “I am so tired or busy.” Love, this is in my brain a lot. I mean, even tonight, I honestly didn’t want to record this podcast. I’ve had a busy day, so my lizard was like, “Just tell Pavel you’ll have the episode tomorrow.” But, love, it is not true. I love recording these podcasts. I can record the podcast. I have plenty of time to do it. And I can take actions that are in my best interest.

So, love, watch for these thoughts because they sound like true facts. You could be thinking right now, “But, Shannan, I am tired. I am busy.” But you can make the time. I mean, loves, we have done this; we say we’re so busy, but we make the time to go full-head into a gallon of ice cream. Or we say we’re so tired, and we don’t do the thing that’s going to help us lose weight, like make our realistic plan.

The limiting thought, “I am so tired or busy,” leads to us not doing stuff and sabotaging behavior. Busy is a lie. We all have 168 hours in a week. I mean, from a CEO of a company to J-Lo, to you, we all get the same amount of time.

Busy is just another tricky lie we tell ourselves so we cannot take care of ourselves, so we can put others before ourselves, so we can let the lizard brain control what we’re doing. And honestly, love, we’re worth more than that. You are worth more than that.

So, number three, this one, we just went through the holidays, and so this limiting thought happens to all of us. And it is, “But it’s the holidays. It’s my birthday. It’s my kid’s birthday. It’s my anniversary. It’s Friday.” There are so many tricky limiting thoughts like these. And loves, we’ve associated these beautiful holidays with food and overeating. And we’ve made it okay.

I’ve had a birthday, celebrated with my family, and not eaten half the cake, and it’s been okay. we just went through the holidays and I did not go full off plan. I did not have a binge fest. I did not gain weight, love.

I still enjoy the things that I love. I made cookies with my grandbabies and ate some cookies. I enjoyed pie. I just placed them on my realistic plan. I did not put off me until after the holidays. That is what this thought does. It keeps putting you off.

I plan when I want to eat something and I’m aware of how it feels in my body, no excuses or obsession. That is what the realistic plan is. It’s just freedom. And it keeps me from putting me off.

So, number four, “I just have so much to lose, I will never do it.” This thought just keeps you from taking action. Every person who lost weight started somewhere and it never matters about your starting point. I mean, love, I have started at 315 pounds and 290 pounds. I have started all over. And the last time I started at 247 pounds.

All that matters is that you’re learning and failing and taking action. I was unsuccessful at losing weight until I wasn’t. I want you to hear me again when I say this; I was unsuccessful at losing weight until I wasn’t.

Loves, what are your limiting thoughts or excuses? What are the triggers that you have? And then, when you have a limiting thought, you can be a watcher of that thought. You can be onto yourself. You can allow that thought and not act on it. That is the power of this work.

So, just notice what limiting thoughts that you have. I’ve shown you four here, but there are so many more. Loves, when you have a limiting thought, I want you to think, what is the next best action that I can take and what thought would help me create that best action?

Okay, love, so here are the transformational questions. Number one, what are your limiting thoughts. Number two, how do they keep you from taking action? And number three, do you take negative action when you have a limiting thought? It’s so good, loves.

Thank you so much for listening, I can’t wait to talk to you next week.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. It’s a free mini course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #15: New Year’s Resolutions Busted

For years, I would set New Year’s resolutions and not meet any of them. Every year, weight loss was high on the list and I always believed that this would be the year I was going to change for good. But like so many, I would give up as soon as things became uncomfortable.

But keep listening, loves. I have an alternative for you that will provide the foundation for real success in the year ahead.

We are officially in 2020 and I’m thinking deeply about what I want to accomplish, so I’m coming at you with a short and sweet demonstration of my process for setting goals for the next year. Join me this week for a guide to setting simple, realistic goals, and most importantly, sticking to them.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What successes did you have in 2019?
  2. What realistic success do you want in 2020?

  3. What challenges could you face in achieving your success?

  4. What strategy will you implement to overcome your challenges? 

If you love this work and you want to take it even deeper to get off the diet roller coaster for good, you need to check out my signature program, Jumpstart. Doors are opening today, on January 1st 2020 for six days only, so to get early access and more information, register here!


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why so many of us fail in our traditional New Year’s resolutions.
  • How my successes from the previous year help push me along throughout the next one.
  • The method I use to decide on my goals for the next year.
  • How to come up with a strategy for achieving your goals and not falling into the usual New Year’s resolution cycle.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 15.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 Executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, loves. Oh my goodness, Happy New Year! Can you believe it is 2020? I am just so excited today. Jumpstart is opening today and, oh, I am just over the moon about it. My last Jumpstarters had such amazing results, and I just can’t wait to work with another group of amazing ladies.

In today’s episode, we are going to bust the New Year’s resolutions. I’m going to show you how I plan the year, and how I ensure I am meeting my goals. And, as always, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions to start taking action today.

But first, as always, I want to give a listener shout-out. This week’s listener shout-out is to CAJ80. The title of her review is “Encouraging. Thank you for helping women on your podcast and on Facebook. Very helpful and encouraging in helping women not feel alone on a weight-loss journey. Helping us get back in touch with our bodies.” Thank you so much, CAJ80.

I mean, I just love these reviews. Every time I read them, I mean, they give me goosies and really make my day. I love that you ladies are listening. And again, if you love this show, please rate or review it. I would just so appreciate it. And don’t forget to subscribe, so every Wednesday it’s just waiting for you.

So, today as I’m recording this, I’ve already been working on 2020. I have been thinking about what I want to accomplish, what I want my successes to be. I’m thinking of all of you and how I’m going to serve my ladies.

This episode will be shorter, because I want to teach you the process. I love the New Year. I love fresh beginnings and looking to the future. I used to set New Year’s resolutions and goals. I would hit some of them, and then not hit many of them. Weight loss was always on there.

I mean, every year I was trying something different, and this was going to be the year. I was always setting about 52 goals and things I wanted to do in the New Year. I mean, honestly, I thought, “This is the year that I literally become a different person.”

But like many of you, I would quit, or give up when it was too hard, or when I had made some mistakes. And, I’ve learned a different way. And in today’s episode, I’m going to share the process that I go through.

The first thing I do is reflection. I look back on the past year. And loves, I look for all my successes. I write them down. Yes, my successes. I mean, we’re always looking at our challenges, our failures, our disappointments. Our lizard brains are just wired that way. But looking at what I’ve accomplished, what my successes have been, help prep me for the next part.

I then look at the next year and I look at each area my life. I ask myself, “What do I want it to look like in 2020?” What do I want for my health, spirituality, financial, relationships, business, career, fun? Don’t forget the fun, ladies. What do I want for my ladies? And, what are my successes in 2021?

And then, I preplan my successes. I choose one thing in each area of my life that I want to focus on. Just one, and I make it realistic. Now, you know, ladies, that I love the realistic plan. So, just like my realistic plan, I make my goals realistic.

I believe why so many of us fail with New Year’s resolutions is because we put too many, and we make it unrealistic for a year’s time. We put too much change, and then our lizards take over, and we quit.

But loves, the key is one small step at a time. That’s how we achieve a goal. So, I write one success I want to have, and then I write clearly what I want it to be. And then, I write out all the challenges I will have. I write out all the ways I could fail.

I do this, love, because nothing is a straight line. There will always be challenges. There will always be mistakes. And when I plan for them, then I know what to do, and it helps me not to quit. Maybe one of your goals is to make your realistic plan every day. Let’s say something happens, and you don’t make it. Then your brain, your lizard, thinks of it like a failure. Then it starts to tell you all the reasons why it’s too hard and why you could fail.

So then, I create a strategy to overcome the challenge or mistake. Let’s say I didn’t make my realistic plan for the day. My strategy to overcome that would be, as soon as I realize I didn’t make it, I make it for the next meal. I don’t let one day turn into a week. Learning to plan in this way helps to retrain your brain to look for success, and have a strategy for when you have a challenge or a mistake.

Every dream or goal that I’ve ever achieved has come with lots of failure. I had to retrain my brain to learn to fail and not give up. It’s one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself, love.

So love, here is the process to bust the New Year’s resolution and make realistic successes for 2020. Reflect on your successes of 2019, then write what realistic success do you want in each area of your life? Then write all the challenges you could face. And then write a strategy for each challenge.

That is the secret to achieving your goals and not just falling into the New Year’s resolution cycle. Remember, loves, time plus consistency equals your results. Oh, you got this, love.

So the transformational questions I’m going to leave you, what successes did you have in 2019 Number two, what realistic success do you want in 2020? Number three, what challenges could you face in achieving your success? And number four, what strategy will you implement to overcome the challenges?

Oh, so good, loves. And if you love this work and you want to go deeper, my signature program, Jumpstart, is open from January 1st through January 6th. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/contact-me. Bye, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

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Ep #14: Your Future Self

We just had an early Christmas celebration with our family a few days ago, and I was asking my grandkids what they want to be when they grow up. And every time, their answers amaze me. Kids love to dream. Then, as life goes on, we gradually stop dreaming.

We tell ourselves that whatever we have is good enough and we should be grateful. However, loves, dreaming just like we did when we were kids is still possible for us, while still being grateful for what we have.

Join me on the podcast this week as I introduce a concept called Future Self. This work has propelled everything that I do today. Everything I do, even the small stuff, takes who I want to be in the future into consideration, and this practice is changing my whole world. The future starts today, not tomorrow.

 


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why we stop dreaming as we go through life.
  • How to start dreaming about the future passionately again.
  • Why intentionally thinking about my future self has made a huge difference in the trajectory of my life.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 14.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 Executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, loves. First I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas or a happy holiday season. I know this episode will be released on Christmas Day, so just wishing you so much love, whether it’s Christmas Day or any other day that you’re listening to it.

So, I love today’s topic. It is one of my favorite things. We are all going to get ready today for 2021 or 2025? What did I just say? I know, we’re going to talk about your future self. It is so good. And as always, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions to start taking action today.

But first, I want to give a listener shout-out. This is where I’ll read a review of the podcast every week. This week’s listener shout-out is to Jelly Bean 477. The title of her review is “Life-Changing Stuff Found Here. You won’t find a more dedicated, supportive, real or knowledgeable coach anywhere. Shannan is the most genuine and loving person, using her personal experience and lessons learned to help us be the best we can be.”

Oh my goodness, thank you so much, Jelly Bean 477. I just love these reviews. They really do inspire me. I love that you ladies are listening. If you love this show, please rate and review the show. I would so appreciate it.

Also, subscribe so the new episodes are waiting for you when they’re released. Loves, as I record this, we just celebrated our Christmas yesterday with our family. It was amazing. We had all of our children, grandbabies, my brother, his wife, my dad. You know, it was such an amazing time. I really was present and kind of just enjoyed the crazy of it. I mean, with four grandbabies, it’s pretty high energy.

And, we did it early this year because my husband is having surgery. And I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this concept that we have a 50-50 life. Meaning it’s balanced between the amazing and wonderful, and the hard and painful. I mean, for sure, sometimes it’s 90-10, or even 10-90, but in the end, it all balances out.

I love this concept, because it helps me embrace the 50% that is hard. Like when we found out my husband was going to have two surgeries within two weeks in December. I mean, when we found out I cried, I was worried. But loves, I felt all of the emotions of it and I didn’t buffer. And, they came and went until we got the all clear from the doctor. And then, loves, we did, and he is all good. And loves, then I was elated.

I mean, that’s how life, the crazy balance of amazing and hard, and lots of stuff in between. When we stop resisting the hard, when we embrace it, loves, everything changes. When we’re present in those moments that are amazing, we fully embrace the good, too. Our lives are more full. We are more present with everything.

When we know that we can handle anything, I mean anything, and still take the next best action for ourselves? Loves, we become on stoppable. I wanted to share, because I hope this helps as you move through this week, or wherever you are.

So, let’s get into today’s episode. I love watching my grandkids and asking them questions. I like to ask them, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” So, I asked my two older grandkids, and every time their answers amaze me. I mean, mostly my oldest grandson, he wants to be Sonic.

When I was in high school, I wanted to be a fashion designer, living in New York. I mean, when we’re kids, we just love to dream. Then comes college, or family, jobs, marriage or no marriage, kids or no kids, aging parents. And loves, we stopped dreaming. We get into the daily routines of our lives and we’re just like robots, going from one day to the next.

Add in the hard stuff that happens along the way. Challenges, divorce, death, job loss, changes, health issues, and loves, we just give up on ourselves. We tell ourselves, “This is good enough.” “I should be grateful for what I have.” Or, “This is my lot in life.”

But loves, we can dream. We can look up and want things for ourselves. We can want to grow, learn, achieve goals that we thought were impossible, all while being grateful for what we have. Time is always moving. I know, ladies, you feel me on this. I mean, I really do believe as you get older, it just keeps moving faster.

And so today I want to introduce a concept that my teacher taught me, that I loved, and it’s called future self. I mean, I love this concept and it has propelled everything for me. Everything I do today is for my future self, the future self of 2021 or 2025.

If I decide to make my realistic plan and eat what’s on it, that affects my future self. If I show up at my business, or not, that affects my future self. If I decide to save money, that affects my future self. So, let’s go back. Everything I did 10 to 15 years ago affects me today. I’m either benefiting from it, or not.

So, when I decided to marry my amazing husband 11 years ago, I was making a decision for my future self When I decided to stop dieting five years ago and find a different way, I was making a decision for my future self.

Loves, looking back at myself over the past 10 to 15 years, I am so happy, what I did for myself. I had goals, I did hard things. I knew what I wanted for my future. I am so thankful for that Shannan. I mean, she married an amazing man. She went back for her MBA. She learned how to lose weight, how to take care of herself. She got certified as a life coach. She was a good mom and Mimi.

I’m so grateful that Shannan showed up and did hard things, because now, I get to benefit from all of it. So everything I do today is for her, for the Shannan of 2025. Just think about that for a moment, loves. Stop and think. Everything you do today is for her.

I know that dreaming and looking at the future can be hard. We don’t trust ourselves, because we have let ourselves down so many times. We’ve broken commitments to ourselves, but loves, your future starts today, not tomorrow. I learned early in my leadership career that I had to set goals. I had to dream. I had to know where I was going. So, I did. I learned how to write down my goals, how to make decisions that served me.

Now loves, there is no straight line or path. But don’t use “I don’t know what will happen” to not plan your future. Having a plan and taking action today for your future self helps you to get where you want to go, because loves, the future will happen one way or the other.

It is often small, boring things that are the contributions to your future self. Like my morning walks, like eating foods that fuel me, like resting, making my realistic plan every day. It’s not the momentous, huge, big things. It’s the small things that, with time, make a huge impact.

Hear me when I say this. Time plus consistency equals results. And those results are either good or bad. So, I’m going to say it one more time. Time plus consistency equals results, good or bad.

I look up and ask, “Who is my future self? What does she do for a living? What does she look like? How does she take care of herself? How much money does she make? What do I want for my family, my grandkids? How can I help them today?” And then I write it down. And, a couple times a year, I actually write a letter to my future self.

I really think about the 2021 or 2025 version of me. Is your 2025 self still struggling with weight? Or is that in her rearview mirror? Now, who is your future self, love? And what are you going to do for her today? I mean, loves, that is where the magic lies. When I don’t want to get out of bed for my walk in the morning, I think about my future self and I ask, “What would she do?”

I mean, she’d get out of bed. My future self has more wisdom, she has grown, and my future self is my best mentor. Doing this work, looking at your future self, dreaming, it’ll help you when you want to give up. When in the short term, you want to try another quick-fix diet, or you want to eat the cupcake, ask yourself, “What would she do? What would my future self do?”

Oh, it’s so powerful, love. So the transformational questions are, who is your future self of 2021 or 2025? And number two, what can you do today for your future self? Loves, so good.

Jumpstart is opening on January 1st, it’s almost here. It’ll be open for six days. And if you love this work and want to take it deeper to lose weight for good, then make sure that you’re on the Jumpstart waitlist. You can register at bflycoaching.com/waitlist.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come on over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #13: How Wanting to Be “Normal” Leads to Deprivation

For so many years, when I would go out and see skinny people – especially eating dessert – I would think to myself, “Why can’t I be normal, like her?” And I didn’t realize it at the time, but that perception of normal, that I had made up in my head, was leading to so much drama for me. It’s crazy.

I just wanted to be this definition of normal for so long. I wanted to eat whatever I wanted, eat all the sugar, and not gain a pound. Then, while at a retreat, I realized that this desire to be normal was really creating only one thing in my life: deprivation.

Listen in this week, love, and discover the truth about what it means to really be normal, why our perception of normal is not grounded in reality, and how chasing this idea of eating whatever you want and being comfortable is always available to you.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What thoughts do you have right before you eat off-plan or overeat?
  2. What thoughts are causing you to feel deprivation?

  3. What if you feel the feeling of deprivation? What would change for you?

If you love this work and you want to take it even deeper to get off the diet roller coaster for good, you need to check out my signature program, Jumpstart. Doors will be opening on January 1st 2020 for six days only, so to get early access and more information, register here!


What You’ll Discover:

  • How confirmation bias influences our perception of what is normal.
  • Why it’s impossible to know the full truth about someone else’s relationship with food and their body.
  • What normal in the USA actually means from a diet and weight perspective.
  • Why you are always in control, even when it feels like you’re eating uncontrollably.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 13.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, love. I’m so happy to be back with you. I’m a little under the weather. I have a little head cold, which is a sign to me that I’m doing too much maybe, it’s Christmas time, and not resting enough. Honestly, I never get sick. I can go years without having a cold or any kind of sickness.

And so this week, I’m really looking at, what am I doing and am I resting? And then also, am I resisting some of my feelings? You know, love, I’ve been doing a lot of reflection work this week, but in today’s show, we’re going to talk about being normal and how it leads to the feeling of deprivation.

I love this topic because it’s a thought I had for most of my life. If I just could be normal. I thought all of the skinny people were normal and I was not. And as always, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions so you can start taking a little bit of action today.

But you know, first, I want to give a listener shout-out. This is where I will read a review of the podcast every week. This week’s listener shout-out is to KMG3614. The title of her review is Relatable, “It’s so refreshing to listen to someone so relatable and have hope that the answer to my diet rollercoaster is right around the corner. Hope is what I’m feeling after listening.”

Thank you so much, KMG3614. I love these reviews and I really appreciate all the ladies that are listening. If you love this show, please rate and review it. I would just so appreciate it. And then also subscribe to the show wherever you listen. So, every Wednesday, this show is just waiting for you in your podcast library.

So, when this is being released, it will be the week before Christmas. And I just can’t believe it’s the end of the year. I mean, we just put up our tree and all of our Christmas decorations. And honestly, this is my favorite time of the year. I don’t know about you ladies, but I really do love it.

Now, last year, we were building our current house and we had sold our other house, so we were living in an apartment. And I didn’t even put up our tree last year. All of our stuff was in storage. And last year, our house was supposed to be finished at the end of November, but a few delays happened and we actually didn’t move in until January of this year.

So I am just so excited to have Christmas at our house this year. It’s the first year that we’re having it in this house, and all the traditions, you know, we’re baking cookies, making gingerbread houses, doing all the fun things that we like to do with the grandbabies, you know.

I still enjoy all the fun stuff and all of our traditions without feeling deprivation or restriction. And honestly, I’m going to make some cookies this weekend, so I’ll just add a few cookies to my realistic plan on Saturday, no drama involved. That’s the power of the realistic plan.

So, deprivation and restriction lead me right into today’s episode. I’m going to talk about the thought, “I just want to be normal.” This is something that I always wanted. I wanted to be normal. I thought normal was eating whatever I wanted. I used to really wish – I mean, you ladies feel me on this – for a magical pill where I could eat whatever I wanted.

I wanted to eat all the sugar. I wanted to be skinny and eat loads of cookies and chocolate and whatever I wanted. I would look at a thin person and think, “What would it be like to be normal and eat whatever I wanted?” Because, of course, when I would see a thin person, you know, they would be eating dessert or something I thought I could not eat on my diet.

Nd honestly, love, that’s just confirmation bias, and I’m going to talk about that in a future episode. But, loves, being normal in this country is being overweight. 71% of adults over the age of 20 are overweight or obese according to the CDC. Yes, you heard me correctly, 71%.

We, as a nation, are carrying extra weight. We believe that something is wrong with us, but the crazy part that I’ve learned is that dieting led me to being overweight, the rollercoaster of overeating or restriction. When I was dieting, I made it all about the food and whatever diet plan I was on.

But, love, it has never been about the food. It has always been about my thoughts and beliefs. This thought that I just wanted to be normal also led me to the thought, “Well if I could just eat in moderation.” I wanted to be able to eat in the middle. I was either binging, overeating, or restricting. And I thought if I could just eat in moderation, I would be good.

Honestly, loves, I just could not figure it out. I remember my last try at moderation. I mean, I loved ice cream sandwiches and I thought, if I could be, quote unquote, good, all day, which, love, meant restriction, counting some form of calorie or point, then every night, I would get, as a reward, an ice cream sandwich.

But, loves, one ice cream sandwich would turn into two, and then eating a cookie, and then it just led to this downward spiral because I was not planning and I did not have any control over my lizard brain, I would overeat. And then, loves, you know what happens next. I would beat myself up.

It was such a vicious cycle, I was not connected with my body and eating from a place of love.

I was just eating to eat, meaning eating to buffer and avoid feelings. I had an unmanaged mind, so after that failed attempt at moderation, I just went back to overeating. This is the thing, love, being normal, eating whatever I wanted, was a faulty thought because a lot of the time, I was eating whatever I wanted, and I didn’t like that either.

I did not like the obsession or how it made me feel. I did not like the thought that I was out of control. I remember walking into a grocery store to pick up my next fix, some form of sugar. And because I had been overeating, nothing even looked that great. But I was obsessed. I needed the sugar. So I would pick something up and then go overeat.

What changed things for me was learning that I always had a choice. I’ve always been able to eat the cupcake or not. It’s always been my decision, my choice. I was always in control. The idea that something takes over us is just not true. We’re making the decision, whether we want to acknowledge it or not.

I had to become a watcher of my thoughts and know which thoughts were poison to me. I had to learn that being normal was a poisonous thought for me. It just didn’t lead anywhere good.

I wanted to be normal because I was tired of feeling deprivation. I just didn’t want to feel it anymore. I didn’t want to feel like I couldn’t have something. And when I was dieting, I would go to – ladies, you feel me on this – you’d go to a family event, there’s a ton of desserts and if I saw someone eat one, then I would have the thought, “I just wish I was normal and could eat that.”

Then it would cause the feeling of deprivation. Restricting what I ate led to these feelings of deprivation and self-pity, and those feelings I did not want to feel. So then, I would buffer and then go off my diet, and then I would be on the full diet rollercoaster.

I literally did this for most of my life. This one thought of being normal led to lots of overeating. And I’ve also learned that just because someone is thin, does not mean they can eat whatever they want or that they don’t have some sort of food issue.

Honestly, ladies, I’ve yet to meet or coach a woman who has not struggled with body image or food issues. I have seen many girls binge, over-exercise, and deal with anorexia.

On my bucket list years ago was attending a Geneen Roth retreat. If you know her, ladies, she used to be on Oprah. She wrote the book Woman, Food, and God. And I always wanted to go to one of her retreats.

So I went to one of her retreats. It was amazing. And part of the retreat was we had these small group sessions. And this beautiful girl walked into mine. I mean, she was thin, I mean, just stunningly beautiful. And I thought, “Why is she even here?”

But love, when she started to speak, I was shocked. She thought she was overweight. She hated herself and her body. You know, loves, we never know what others are dealing with. We all have a human brain and a 50-50 life. We all have pain and struggle. That is the magic.

I believe to know that you can feel anything and take actions that serve you is really the magic, to learn how to manage our thoughts and feel feelings, it is the greatest work. I want to be exceptional. I want to be connected to this body I’m in. I want to learn how to watch my thoughts, feel my feelings, and take actions that serve me.

The first step is knowing what thoughts are driving your actions. And sometimes the thoughts are tricky. You know that lizard brain. They sound so good, but go deeper, love, they are driving you to overeat.

I learned that I could feel the feeling of deprivation. I mean, a feeling lasts about 90 seconds in our body if we allow it. Listen to episode number seven to learn how to feel your feelings.

I could also change my thought to create a different feeling, like, “I’m exceptional and I love eating food that fuels me.” Which then creates the feeling of love for me.

Okay, love, so here’s your transformational questions. Number one, what thoughts do you have right before you eat off-plan or overeat? Number two, what thoughts are causing you to feel deprivation? And number three, what if you feel the feeling of deprivation? What would change for you?

Ooh, so good, love. I mean, who wants to be normal? Not me. So, in next week’s episode, I’m going to talk about one of my favorite things; no, seriously, favorite. So don’t miss it.

Love, If you love this work and you want to take it deeper to lose weight for good, my signature program, Jumpstart, will be opening on January 1st – I’m so excited – for six days. To get early access to all of the information on it, register for the waitlist. You can register at bflycoaching.com/waitlist. Bye, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #12: Diet Beliefs Busted

If you’ve been on any sort of weight loss journey, I can guarantee you’ve been faced with some diet beliefs that we’ve all been told at some point in our lives. Myths and beliefs about what you should be doing can seem helpful, but today, I want to show you how they’re actually keeping you stuck on the diet roller coaster for good.

Releasing these diet beliefs was crucial to me actually losing weight in the long-term, and I want the same results for you. I’m diving into eight myths today and busting them to show you that all they’re doing is causing you more suffering than necessary, and how you might actually be self-sabotaging your progress by holding onto them.

Join me this week, loves, as I crack eight diet beliefs – of which I’m sure there are hundreds of others out there – to give you a new perspective on how to start losing weight for good. Some of these will be hard to let go of, but I hope this work helps you see that you’ll be better off without them.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What diet beliefs or myths do you have?
  2. What do you have to think to change your diet beliefs?

If you love this work and you want to take it even deeper to get off the diet roller coaster for good, you need to check out my signature program, Jumpstart. Doors will be opening on January 1st 2020 for six days only, so to get early access and more information, register here!


What You’ll Discover:

  • 8 diet beliefs that are keeping you stuck. 
  • Why you can lose weight without counting calories, points, or macros.
  • How diet beliefs can lead to self-sabotage.
  • Why I believe snacking is always an emotional event.
  • How listening to your body is key to losing weight. 
  • Why you have to learn to love your body now. 


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 12.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. In today’s show, we are going to dive into all the diet beliefs that are keeping you stuck. I love this topic. It was so hard for me to reprogram my brain after years on the diet roller coaster, but it was key to me losing weight.

And as always, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions so you can start taking action today. But first, I want to give a listener shout-out. This is where I’ll read a review of the podcast every week. This week’s listener shout-out is to AngelQueen.

The title of her review is, “I can relate. Shannan puts things into perspective. I find that I can relate to her experiences. I find myself accepting those experiences and starting to move forward. Thank you, Shannan.”

Thank you so much AngelQueen. I love these reviews. They really do inspire me. I love that you ladies are listening. If you love this show, please rate and review the show. I would just so appreciate it.

So ladies, I love the holidays. I just made a list and planned out all of the fun stuff that we’re going to do in December. Every year, I rent a big old 15-passenger van and we take my immediate family to go look at Christmas lights. It is the best. We sing Christmas carols, it’s so fun, and we go all over looking at lights.

I love this tradition. I just love the traditions of the holidays. I’ve loved over the last few years starting traditions that don’t center around food. I like finding cool things we can do as a family like games, service activities, and even things like making crafts together. Honestly, it is the best. I love those g-babies and they love and they’re in for whatever.

But I also like planning what I want to do and what I’ll say no to. This has been a work in progress for me. I used to say yes to everything. I wanted to show up for everything. But now, I guard my time. I look for the things that mean the most to me.

I used to do things I didn’t want to do and then love, I would build resentment for doing it. Loves, we do things out of obligation but what if you did the things you love? How would it feel to do the things that you love out of love? Not obligation.

We do things we don’t love and then we eat to buffer our feelings away. And now I love the things I do. I say no to the things I don’t want to do, and I don’t feel guilty about it. I choose what I do with my time, and loves, it is so powerful. So powerful to do the things that you love out of love.

So loves, let’s get into the diet beliefs. We have been programmed with all of these diet beliefs. We think they’re true. I see this come up with my Jumpstarters. They will be making progress and then an old diet belief will pop up. Then they start to sabotage. I did this too for so long.

I would be making progress and then an old belief, or I would hear someone talking about the new diet and my lizard brain would be like, “See? You’re not doing it right.” I think there are probably hundreds of diet beliefs and today I’m going to talk about eight of them. So let’s go through some of them.

Now loves, I’m not a doctor, so you should always consult your doctor. What I share with you is my research and my experience. So let’s get into it. Number one, and one of the hardest for me to let go of was that you have to count calories, points, macros, fat grams, carbs. I mean, every diet plan I had ever been on had some form of counting something.

I mean, if it was Weight Watchers, it was point. If it was Atkins, it was carbs. When it was the low-fat era, it was fat grams. It was always something. So dropping that diet belief took some time. I’ve lost my weight – hear me when I say this. I’ve lost my weight without counting any of it.

I’ve learned to pay attention to how food feels in my body. We have hormones that tell us when we’re full and when we’re hungry. But we become so disconnected that we just don’t feel any of them anymore.

Think about how our great-grandparents ate. They didn’t count calories. They didn’t count anything. They ate when they were hungry and they stopped when they were full. So ladies, listen to episode nine of you haven’t. It’s where I really go in-depth on this topic.

Okay, number two. Okay ladies, this one, my goodness. We’ve been told so many different things. So number two is that you have to eat three meals a day and a few snacks, and that you have to be eating all of the time because if you don’t, your metabolism will drop.

Loves, it’s one of the biggest misconceptions. The amount that your metabolism drops is so minute that it doesn’t affect you. Some people do intermittent fasting or different things like that, and they lose and maintain weight. Some people eat three meals a day with no snacks. Some people eat two meals a day with no snacks.

I’ve seen my clients do many different variations. And I believe that snacking is always an emotional event. Now, I know love, your lizard right now is like, what? But snacking is always an emotional event.

It is because I am trying to buffer some feeling that I don’t want to feel. I believe our body needs food breaks. Eating all the time never gives your body time to release the fat. Your body cannot release fat if your insulin levels are raised. So you have to give some time in your day where you’re not eating.

Now loves, I believe this is such important work. Do the research yourself. Test what works for you. My clients do many different things and they’re losing weight. And they have tested in their body what feels good for them. How does your body feel when you eat breakfast? Are you even hungry? Try giving a couple hour break during the day from eating. How does that feel in your body? Test different methods and see what works for you.

Okay, on to number three. Oh my goodness loves, the number three diet belief, I just need the right food plan and exercise plan. Loves, it has never been about the food. The reason we carry extra weight is because we eat food when our bodies does not need it for fuel.

And we overeat mostly because we’re trying to avoid or resist some feeling that we don’t want to feel. There is no magical food plan or pill. Trust me. I have tried all of it. You have to become the scientist of your own body. You have to learn how food feels in your body.

And let’s talk about exercise. We have been told that we must exercise to lose weight. Remember Biggest Loser? I mean, I watched that show and they exercise like, 10 hours a day. But loves, you can lose weight without exercising.

I used to use exercise as another way to beat myself up. I would start a diet and include exercise, and then I would start slipping and not exercising, and I would quit on the whole thing and beat myself up. I love walking. I do it because it’s the time where I think and it feels good. I never used it as a tool to lose weight.

I exercise for my brain and strength. I had to stop believing that exercise helped me lose weight. Because of being on the diet roller coaster for so long, it just kept me setting these unrealistic expectations and then beating myself up when I did not reach them.

Exercise and losing weight, when I separated the two and focused on my process, my four fundamentals, that’s what helped me lose the weight. I love exercise. I do Pilates too and I love it for the strength. But loves, it has nothing to do with the amount of weight that I carry on my body. And separating those two in my mind helped me lose the weight.

So number four, when I lose the weight, I will start loving my body, find a partner, get a better job, reach my dreams. Loves, this is such diet mentality. We think that when we get there, it will be better. But loves, we all have a 50/50 life, so losing weight does not change that.

To lose weight for good, we have to start loving ourselves. Our body. And working on our dreams now. We can’t wait for there because there is no there. Yes, I feel better in my body now, but I still have a lizard brain. I still have a 50/50 life. I had to go after my dreams and learn to love my body while I was losing weight.

If you don’t start changing your beliefs and mind, then when you lose the weight, all the diet beliefs and the things that kept you overweight will be there. And then love, eventually, you will sabotage and gain weight. I mean love, that is the diet roller coaster. And I had to learn this. I mean, this work, learning to start now with my dreams and loving my body, that was key to losing weight and now keeping it off.

Okay love, number five. An entire food group is bad. Carbs are bad, fat is bad, fruit is bad. I mean, every new diet fad wants you to cut out some food group. But love, I eat all the food groups. I learned what food fuels me and what doesn’t. I did this and I lost weight.

Loves, there are simple and complex carbs. There’s no good or bad. I eat potatoes, rice. I mean, I lost weight on them. There are three nutrients that you need to thrive. Carbs, protein, and fat. That’s the truth. Looking at food as fuel or non-fuel is the key. Loves, stop listening to everyone else and listen to your own body. It will never fail you.

Number six, oh my goodness loves, so many of us are part of the clean plate club. My dad, bless his heart, and I just love him so much, but he grew up so poor. I mean, very poor. They used to steal food to eat. So when I was growing up, it was not an option to not clean your plate. I learned to eat everything on my plate. This was another hard belief that I had to give up.

I just had my birthday and we had these little bundtinis. They’re just little miniature cakes. And when everyone left, there were about six left over. I knew I did not want them and my husband was not going to eat them, so I threw them away.

Now loves, I know that this can be so hard because we were just told never to waste food. But loves, I have learned that food will either be waste in your body or in the trash. You decide. Hear me say this again. It will be waste in your body or in the trash. It will sit on your hips or in the trash.

I prefer the trash. I know that we were all told that people are starving in Africa or the homeless, but loves, most of us are not packing our leftovers up and sending them off. For me, I donate time and money to help those organizations. So loves, turn in your membership card to the clean plate club.

Number seven. Oh my goodness. This one was hard for me too. Nighttime eating causes you to gain weight. It’s not the time of the day. It is what you are eating. For many of us, when we’re tired, we choose foods that do not fuel us. So many of you I know struggle with nighttime eating. I know. I did this for years.

It would be around 7pm, I was tired from the day and not wanting to feel all the stress from the day, so I wanted something sweet. A sugar cookie, an ice cream sandwich, whatever I had around. And because I was tired, I would eat more of it.

There are a lot of studies, and actually they found that it doesn’t matter what time of the day you eat. So all of you ladies who work a night shift, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are making your realistic plan, learning what food fuels you. Those are the keys. So love, bust the belief. It’s not the time of the day. It’s what you’re eating.

Okay, number eight. Oh my goodness, I hear this all the time. And I used to really believe this too. I just love food. And I hear this, I know right now you’re like, “But Shannan, I do. I just love it.” But loves, if you loved food, you would enjoy it.

You would slow down and choose foods that felt good in your body. You love the dopamine hit that you get. I hear this all the time, but it’s just a poisonous thought. We don’t truly love food. Even I’ll say it. I love something like chocolate cake, but loves, I don’t really love it. It’s just food. An object. It doesn’t love us back.

It’s actually caused us years of suffering and pain. Learning that food is just food, not comfort, not love, is a huge a-ha I had. I still enjoy some non-fuel food, but the more I slow down and taste it, the more I find that some of it I don’t even really like.

And when I was on the diet roller coaster, I was binging. I mean, honestly, I was overeating. I wasn’t even tasting it. I was consuming so much sugar that it lost the taste. Now loves, I will go weeks without eating a lot of sugar and then if I eat something like a banana or a Kind bar, it tastes really sweet to me.

That is the crazy part. We think we love it but really, we just want the dopamine hit and we want to avoid feeling our feelings. Food is not love. You are love, love.

So loves, eight diet beliefs. And I bet there are 50 more. So this is what you have to do. Identify all the diet myths, beliefs that you believe. And I’m sure as I was talking, you were like, no, that is not true, Shannan. I know. I know your lizard brain is going crazy.

But loves, the only thing that is true is that your body knows what’s good for it. You have to test what feels good in your body. What food your body can lose weight on. You have to pay attention and just test, test, test.

So the transformational questions. Number one, what diet beliefs or myths do you have? And number two, what do you have to think to change your diet beliefs? Loves, so good. We have been programmed with lots of diet beliefs. Find what they are for you and bust them. And then practice thinking something different.

If you love this work and you want to take it deeper to lose weight for good, my signature program, Jumpstart, will be opening on January 1st for six days, love. To get early access to all of the information on it, register for the waitlist. You can register at bflycoaching.com/waitlist.

Alright loves, talk to you next week.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #11: 2 Simple Tools for Weight Loss that We Overlook

Being on the diet roller coaster can lead us to look for some extreme solutions, right, ladies? Magical pills or shakes that seem to be the answer aren’t, and they just make us want to throw in the towel even more when they don’t work.

I’m sharing two tools that are often overlooked but absolutely crucial to losing weight for good with you today, and I want you to stay with me here. When you find out what they are, you might think, “I’ve heard this before, but does it really help?” When I hit plateaus in my diet, after eating on plan and eating foods that fuel me, I looked to these two tools and loves, the weight dropped even more.

Join me this week to learn more about these two really simple, free tools that will keep your weight loss journey going. They aren’t necessarily the sexiest things, but I can assure you, they are super effective and will give you other incredible benefits too, besides the weight loss.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. How much actual water are you getting a day and do you need to increase it?
  2. How is your sleep environment? Are you doing everything to ensure you’re getting a restful night of sleep?

If you love this work and you want to take it even deeper to get off the diet roller coaster for good, you need to check out my signature program, Jumpstart. Doors will be opening on January 1st 2020 for six days only, so to get early access and more information, register here!


What You’ll Discover:

  • The two tools that are key to helping you lose weight.
  • How not using these tools will keep you on the diet roller coaster.
  • How much water you should be drinking every day. 
  • Why being sleep deprived prevents you from losing weight.
  • How I ensure my environment is good for restful sleep. 


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 11.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. I am just so excited to be with you again. I absolutely love these podcasts. It’s becoming one of my favorite things. I hope yours too. In today’s show, we are going to dive into two simple tools that are key to helping you lose weight. Sleep and water.

Now, this is my fourth bonus fundamental in my free mini course. Now, I know ladies, we have been told about these before. But today, I am going to dive in deep and give you some simple steps so that you can incorporate this into your plan. And as always, I’ll leave you with a couple of transformational questions so that you can start taking action today.

But of course, you know I love my ladies, so I want to give a listener shout-out. This is where every week, I will read a review of the podcast. This week’s listener shout-out is to BBJ1128.

She wrote, “I’m so grateful for finding you and these podcasts. I have been a part of the roller coaster for more years than I like to think about. Just as I was ready to throw in the towel, I found BFLY and these podcasts. I have been listening during my morning routine, my drive to and from work, and in the evening. You are the cheerleader I’ve needed. Thank you for sharing your stories and your teachings. I no longer feel alone in my thoughts. You rock.”

Thank you so much, BBJ1128. And ladies, if you love this show, please rate and review it. I would be so grateful. So as I’m recording this, my birthday was yesterday. I love my birthday and that it’s always around Thanksgiving. It’s one of my favorite weeks of the year.

I just love this time of year. I like all of the celebrations. Spending time with my family, and all of the different traditions we have. I remember when I was on the diet roller coaster, it would be all about the food for me. I was either on a restrictive diet or completely off. But to be honest love, usually during the holidays, I would be totally off. You know what I’m saying.

I would be eating anything I could get my hands on. And it’s so different for me now. I make my realistic plan and I eat mostly foods that fuel me. I like feeling good. I like eating foods that fuel me while still enjoying some of the things that don’t fuel me, like a birthday cake.

I, for sure, had birthday cake last Saturday night and I ate cheesecake yesterday. I had a couple bites, I slowed down, enjoyed them, and when I was satiated, I stopped. I mean love, that is the magic. There’s no more deprivation. There’s no more full-out binge. It’s just making my realistic plan and making it realistic.

Now, my daughter-in-law’s birthday is one day before mine and we always celebrate together. We had a party last Saturday night. We had so much fun and it was so great spending time together, loving up on those grandbabies. I mean, oh my goodness, they are just so cute.

My little Wyatt, he has a full man bun because his hair is so curly. My daughter-in-law completely wants to keep it growing and my son is like, let’s cut it. I’m kind of with my daughter-in-law. PS, don’t tell my son.

So this is the thing. It wasn’t about the food. That night, I wasn’t thinking about what I was going to eat. I thought about my family and being present with them. I thought about the conversation I was in and enjoying everyone.

Ladies, I am serious. It is such a mind change for me and it is possible to feel better and be more present in your life. This work is the greatest gift I’ve given myself. I mean, it is the greatest gift. I’m watching my jumpstarters going through this right now.

They’re seeing that losing the weight is a side benefit, but the mind shift is showing up in all areas of their lives. That is the magic of this work. So today’s topic, sleep and water, it is a magical fat burner that is free.

I know when I say sleep and water, your lizard brains automatically go to, “We’ve heard this before, this is really tough, does it really help?” But loves, it really does. And you know, it’s not sexy, like try my magical pill or a shake, but it’s way more effective.

Sleep and water, loves, they’re the key to losing weight. We’ve all heard it before. I’ve talked about it before. But loves, it’s the key to your life and wellbeing. If you’re dehydrated and sleep deprived, you will have more food cravings. Like, a lot more.

This is another thing that keeps you stuck on the diet roller coaster. If you do not have enough water, your body will send signals that you need it and most of the time, it comes in food cravings. You know those food cravings that you feel that you can’t control? Or sugar cravings?

Because if you’re dehydrated, you have no energy. We can actually live without food for a long time. I mean, like a really long time. There are people who go three weeks or months. Now, I don’t recommend that, but you can. We’re made actually to live without food.

But loves, we cannot even go three days without water. And water is necessary to losing weight. It helps our body release fat. It keeps us hydrated and gives us energy. Sometimes I think I’m hungry. I mean, I’ll have this thought or sensation in my body that I’m hungry, but if I drink a bottle of water, I realize I was just thirsty.

We have critical functions like our organs and brain that need water. And if we’re dehydrated, our body works on those. And it does not get to the lower level functions like burning fat. And you know ladies, we want our bodies to burn our fat.

Now, I know some of you don’t like it. When I say water, you’re like, “Shannan, I don’t want to drink it.” But honestly love, you just have to power through it. I remember not wanting to drink water and now, I crave water. I drink water like it’s going out of style.

But if you don’t like it, put it in a nice glass with ice. Put a lemon wedge or some fruit in it. Just drink it. Every morning when I wake up, I just down two bottles of water. That kind of gets me moving. Then I’ll have my coffee, and then I drink two more bottles of water.

It gets everything moving in my system and honestly, it gives me so much energy. Water is so important to weight loss. Doctors recommend – so I’ve heard many, many different things, but I like to think of drinking half of my weight in ounces per day of pure water.

Now, I love my coffee, and I love a Coke Zero every once in a while. But I know if I drink those, I have to up my water intake. Caffeine and alcohol, they actually dehydrate you. So if you drink caffeinated drinks or alcohol, you just need to up your water intake.

And ladies, this is the thing. You will know if you’re hydrated by the color of your urine. A pale yellow or clear. If it’s darker, you need more water. Isn’t it crazy how cool our bodies are and how we have these natural sensors and detection systems? I mean, it still amazes me.

This is part of becoming a scientist of your own body. And you can listen to more of that in episode nine around food for fuel. So loves, water. Drink it. I can’t tell you enough how important it is to losing weight.

So let’s move into sleep. Love, I know as ladies how sleep deprived we can become. We have families and children and some of you are new mothers. And I know that sleep feels like a distant dream. We wish we were dreaming.

But loves, you have to get it. They have done so many studies and if you’re sleep deprived, your body will not be able to lose weight. It will not function properly and your brain will not work right. Your body at night is repairing and rejuvenating itself, and it’s flushing out all the fat.

It’s also rebalancing all your hormones. A study done by the Center for Preventative Medicine at St. Luke’s International Hospital examine the relationship between sleep and weight in over 21,000 adults. And they were all over the age of 20.

The people who slept less than five hours each night over the course of the three-year study were more likely to gain weight and eventually become obese. There’s so many bad side effects to not getting enough sleep like gaining weight. You can’t think, you get sick, you forget stuff, and your skin suffers.

I’m going to put a link to a quick article I read on Healthline in the show notes. I love this article because it’s just quick and easy read and I want to put it there so you ladies can see it. But I have read so much research and articles on sleep. It is just critical for our body.

We have to make it a priority. I work on this all the time. I work on making my environment good for sleep. I even wear a sleep mask. I don’t drink caffeine at night and the phone, let’s talk about this, ladies. You have to put your phones away.

And if you wake up in the middle of the night, don’t pick it up. I have made that mistake a few times and it keeps me up. I also place a do not disturb on my phone. It’s automatic. Every night, it goes on. I also have a setting where at night, the blue light in my phone dims.

Ladies, I want to sleep. I make a commitment to get eight hours a night. It is crucial. Ask anyone in my life how I am about my sleep. When it is time for bed, I go. I mean, I am crazy about it. I’m an early riser, so I start getting ready for bed every night around 8pm. There are so many things you can do to get a better sleep.

Look at the environment. Do you have a great mattress? Do you have nice sheets? Is your room cool enough? Are you drinking caffeine too late? Are you turning off all the electronics? Loves, this is so important for weight loss.

When I was losing weight, I had hit a plateau in my weight loss. And I looked at what I was eating and felt good about it. I was making my realistic plan, I was eating on plan, I was eating mostly foods that fueled me. So the next thing I looked at was my sleep. I was not getting enough. And this is the crazy part. I decided okay, I’m going to get sleep, and I started to get sleep for a couple days in a row and magically, I dropped weight the next day.

Whenever I see my clients hit a plateau, we look at the data. And more often than not, sleep or water is the culprit. If you lack sleep or water, you will have increased food cravings. Loves, this will happen. If you’re tired, most of us will overeat. So ladies, check your sleep and water.

Sleep and water are my fourth bonus fundamental in my free mini course. You can go to bflycoaching.com to get the free course. And so the transformational questions today are, number one, how much actual water are you getting a day and do you need to increase it? Number two, how is your sleep environment? Are you doing everything to ensure you’re getting a restful night of sleep?

Sleep and water, loves, they are natural fat burners. They are key to losing weight and getting off the diet roller coaster for good. It has been so fun, loves, spending this time with you.

If you love this work and you want to take it deeper to lose weight for good and get off the diet roller coaster, my signature program, Jumpstart will be opening on January 1st 2020 for six days. To get early access to the information on it, register for the waitlist. You can register at bflycoaching.com/waitlist.

Alright loves, bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #10: Why Fear Keeps Us Stuck

Fear is the biggest dream-stealer there is, ladies. Fear kept me carrying extra weight for such a long time, it keeps people in jobs and even relationships that they got bored of a long time ago. So, why does fear have this ability to keep us stuck in uncomfortableness?

We don’t trust ourselves when we’re terrified of messing up, depriving ourselves of even the slightest bit of joy in the process, and that is no way to approach a healthy lifestyle. It took me years, but I have developed a process that has enabled me to avoid the fear and place real trust in myself when it comes to food, and I know you can apply this in your own life too.

Our lizard brains feed off of our fears. They tell us things are scary because they don’t know any better, but there is no room for fear when we’re losing weight for good. So listen in this week as I discuss the 3 types of fear that keep us stuck and how you can work past them once and for all.

How is fear showing up in your life right now? And what would you need to think to feel a different emotion other than fear?

My Jumpstart program is opening up again in January 1st. If you sign up for the waitlist today, you will receive a worksheet to accompany this episode that will allow you to take this work even deeper.


What You’ll Discover:

  • 3 things that we fear the most when it comes to changing our eating habits.
  • Why our fears lead us so often to just give up and quit.
  • How to spot when you are living in and acting out of fear.
  • My own experiences that stemmed from a fear of hunger.
  • How to face your fears in a manageable way, so you can start to see beyond them.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 10.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, loves.  I just cannot believe we are at episode number 10. I mean, 10 episodes. I remember wanting to have a podcast, wanting to work with Pavel and Angela, my podcast producers, and it just really is a dream come true.

I want to thank all the ladies that are listening and who rated and reviewed the show. I am so appreciative. And at the end of today’s show, I will announce the 12 lucky listeners who will receive a $50 gift card, and five lucky listeners who will receive some BFLY swag. I mean, so fun, right, ladies?

So, because this is number 10, I really wanted to go a little deeper and talk about something that keeps us stuck on the diet rollercoaster; fear. I’m going to talk about the different ways we let fear take over, also known as the lizard brain. And then, of course, I will leave you with a couple of transformational questions so that you can start taking action today.

But I also added a little bonus, because this episode is so special. So my Jumpstart program is going to open again on January 1st and I currently have a waitlist. So you can get on that waitlist now. And when you sign up for the waitlist, you’ll also get a freebie in your email inbox. And the freebie is this free worksheet that goes along with this episode. We’ll tell you how to get the freebie at the end of the show.

As always, I want to do a listener shout-out. This is where I will read a review of the podcast every week. This week’s listener shout-out is to AuntTonya89. She wrote, “Real life put into plain and easy terms. It breaks it down into simple steps and step by step for lifelong changes, not just diet changes. Thank you, Shannan.” Well, thank you, AuntTanya89 for the amazing review.

So, I was in California for last week. I love going to California. I go there once a month every month, and I have work there. But I love going to California. It’s beautiful. The weather was a little chilly and foggy, I won’t lie, but always in the afternoon, there’s sunshine in California.

And this week coming up, I’m going to Greensboro, North Carolina, and Delaware. And I travel a lot, some for work, and I always get to throw in a little pleasure too. I remember always overeating on work trips, and using it, honestly, as an excuse to binge.

Work trips are usually pretty busy for me. Lots of people and I’m an introvert. So at the end of the day, for real, ladies, I am running back to my hotel room so I can get some alone time. And it used to be a hotel room plus whatever sugar I could pick up.

It’s just so interesting to me how things have changed. I’ve learned to be uncomfortable, even feel fear. And now, work trips are not something I want to avoid. I look for the good in them. I stick with my daily routines, even when I’m out of town.

So, in today’s show, I want to talk about fear and how fear keeps us stuck on the diet rollercoaster. We have the fear of failure, so we quit or we don’t even start. I have done that numerous times, loves. We have a fear of hunger, a fear that somehow, we might feel uncomfortable or even hungry. And we will do anything to prevent those feelings. And lastly, a fear of change. These fears are often unconscious, so we might not even be aware of them.

So, a fear of failure – I talk about this a lot because it is such a dream-stealer, ladies. We decide we want to start something like making a realistic plan and we do it for a couple of days, and then our brains start telling us why it’s hard, why we will fail, and why this won’t work. Then we listen to our brains. So, we quit.

We tell ourselves it’s because we are busy or it takes too much time or that it is hard. Those thoughts are just poison to our dreams. The real truth is we have failed. We have quit on ourselves. I did this so many times, love, so many times.

And we don’t trust ourselves any longer, so we develop a fear of it. We would rather stay in the uncomfortableness of carrying extra weight, staying in a job we don’t love, not taking care of ourselves. We would rather have the pain of all of that than face the fear of failure, the fear of mistakes.

When I was losing my weight, I had to watch my lizard brain. Learning to become a watcher of my thoughts was one of the most important things I did to lose weight for good. I had to notice the poisonous thoughts that were rattling around in this brain of mine because my thoughts cause a feeling and then I act on that feeling.

I had to notice when I was fearful of food, when I was scared to eat a cupcake because I thought I could not control myself and I would go into a full binge. I know, ladies, I know you feel me on this. You know, loves, we fear food because we’re so scared that we are going to start overeating again.

But my process works. I have a process that works for me. I know now what to do. If I want a cupcake, I just put it on my realistic plan. And then, when it’s time to eat, if I still want it, I eat it. I slow down. I enjoy it. And when I start to feel satisfied, I stop.

I’m watching my Jumpstarters go through this now, the fear of failure. They’re starting to notice thoughts that they didn’t’ even know were there. they are noticing that they don’t want to make their realistic plan or they start comparing themselves to others in the group. And when they go deeper, they see it’s just old thoughts and beliefs of failure.

I had tons of overeats, not making my realistic plan, not getting enough sleep and water, eating too many non-fuel foods while I was losing my weight. I’ll still have some of it now. I just use my process, my fundamentals. I’m not afraid of failure or mistakes. I know that it’s part of the process.

I actually write down my failures, and then I ask myself questions on why I overate. Why did I not make my realistic plan? This is one of the secrets to losing weight for good. It’s learning how to stop fearing failure and welcoming it.

The second fear I want to talk about today is the fear of hunger. OMG, loves, I did not ever want to be hungry. I had done enough of the restrictive 1000 calorie diets that I would do anything not to feel hungry. I would pack enough snacks when I would go on airplane rides. I would bring a snack in my purse if I went to a conference.

Or you know when you go to someone’s house for dinner and you’re scared they’re not going to have something that you like? So I would literally pack a snack or eat right before because I would be so scared, again, of this fear of hunger.

I was so fearful of the sensation of hunger, I would actually tell myself I would pass out if I felt hunger, or, “Oh my goodness, I’m feeling light-headed, I must be hungry.” And, loves, for real, we can go without food for three weeks.

Now, I’m not telling you to do that, but I’m saying our ancestors for sure were not eating every two hours, and maybe not even every day, and our bodies are made to go periods of time without eating. And I’m not telling you not to eat for three weeks. I want to make sure that that is clear. But I’m saying that you can have a few-hour food breaks, is what I like to call it, and live to tell the story, love. As long as you don’t have a medical condition that is relevant, so always make sure that you check with your doctor.

It makes me laugh because, seriously, I would panic if I thought there was not going to be enough food.  I mean, seriously panic. But, Loves, our body, every night, takes a food break while we’re sleeping. It needs the break so it can repair and regenerate our bodies. It is okay to feel a little bit of hunger.

And when you let yourself feel a little hunger, you know then what hunger feels like in your body. If you don’t know what it feels like, and let me tell you, loves, I did not know what it feels like, then you’ll stay on the diet rollercoaster because, when you learn what hunger feels like and what being satisfied feels like in your body, it’s the only way to get off diets.

And when you learn what physical hunger feels like versus emotional hunger, then you can begin to choose to eat only when you feel physical hunger. And, loves, you can stop eating your feelings.

I know, ladies, your lizard brains are saying all kinds of stuff right now. I really do. Like, “Shannan, I can’t feel hunger.” But when I learned that physical hunger, what it felt like, and I stopped fearing it, then I could choose to eat when I was physically hungry. I didn’t need to count calories or follow a food plan.

My body had all of the mechanisms built right in. I just had to stop fearing them. One of the ways I learned what hunger felt like was I extended my nightly food break. So around 10am, I usually would eat breakfast at 7am or 8am and what I would do is extend that to about 10am. And then I could actually feel what hunger felt like in my body.

Another way is, when I think I’m hungry, I ask myself if a chicken breast would take care of it. If yes, then I know that it’s physical hunger. But if the only thing that would satisfy me is a donut then I know it’s some emotion that I’m trying to avoid or resist.

Now, loves, the third fear that keeps us stuck is the fear of change. Our lizard brains are wired to keep us safe and safety is familiarity and change is danger in our brains. We are wired to fear change.

I named my company BFLY Coaching because I love butterflies. I love that they start out as caterpillars and transform into butterflies. The scientific process of that transformation is crazy. Like, they get down to a liquid. How scary is that?

But we would not have butterflies if they didn’t go through that transformation. And, loves, we were all made to be butterflies. We are never supposed to stay a caterpillar.

Our lizard brain is always going to tell us to stay the same, that we should fear change, that it is scary. I would have thoughts when I was losing my weight, like what if you become a different person when you lose the weight? What if you have loose skin? What if you gain the weight back? Those were just poisonous thoughts that I was thinking to keep myself stuck, stuck on the diet rollercoaster.

To lose weight for good, we must change. We have to talk to our brains more than we listen to them. We have to understand that we’ll have fear, but we can feel it. We can allow the feeling of fear and still take action that serves us. Loves, we can step into the light, even when our brains tell us to stay in the cave.

Fear is just an emotion. Our thoughts are just sentences in our brains. We can feel a feeling. We can change. You’ve got this, love. Just becoming a watcher, knowing that you’ll have fear and walking through it anyway is the key to getting off the diet rollercoaster for good.

So here are a couple of transformational questions. How is fear showing up in your life right now? And what would you need to think to feel a different emotion other than fear?

Now, loves, if you want to take this work and you want to take it deeper, then head on over to bflycoaching.com/waitlist. This is the waitlist for my Jumpstart program. It opens again on January 1st. You’ll also get a free worksheet in your email when you get on the waitlist and it accompanies this episode, so you can really take this work deeper.

Okay, ladies. We did the drawing for the 12 Amazon $50 gift cards. I am just so thankful that you are listening and so grateful that you rated and reviewed the show.

So, our winners are Diana Ford, Pam Osborne, Sonya, Tina Angel, Tammy Mulliner, Jill Mackary, Shelby Lazerine, Sonya Kirkman, Tonya Sanders, Penny Eiber, Christine Wade, and Sharon Edwards. I am just so excited for you ladies.

And we also wanted to throw in a little BFLY swag, so we drew five winners for BFLY swag and they are Bonnie Esposato, Lisa Madigan, Emily Wells, Francis, and Dawn Richards.

Ladies, I am just so grateful that you’re listening and that you rated and reviewed the show. Thank you so much.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #9: Become the Scientist of Your Body

I spent 38 years on the diet roller coaster trying absolutely everything. Low-fat, Atkins, keto, you name it, I’ve tried it. We have spent so long being taught that some foods are healthy and some aren’t, but I’m questioning this belief on the podcast today.

I’m sharing how truly learning how food feels in my body has changed my life completely and I want to show you how you can start doing this for yourself too. Different foods feel different to each of us, and one thing that works for one person won’t necessarily work for you too. Becoming the scientist of your body and tuning into your body signals is key, and I’ve got some tips for you on how you can start doing this.

I’m giving you permission today to listen to your own body. We can stop listening to others or asking people who we think are experts on what we should be eating, and this could be the thing that alters your diet journey forever.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What beliefs do you have around healthy and not healthy food?
  2. What would you have to think to start becoming the scientist of your own body?

I am so excited to be bringing you this show, and to celebrate the launch of the podcast I’m giving away $50 Amazon gift cards to 12 lucky listeners. To find out how to enter, click here!


What You’ll Discover:

  • Why I believe we have all been on the diet roller coaster.
  • A look into what my dieting journey looked like in the past.
  • Why I don’t teach or recommend a specific diet to lose weight.
  • What I’ve learned when I started listening to my body.
  • How to start figuring out what foods fuel your body.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number nine.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves. This past week has been so amazing. I have been working with my ladies in my jumpstart program and it’s my signature program that my ladies are in, and we just finished week three. And week three is all about feeling the feelings.

You know, we had our group coaching call on Thursday and they just inspire me. They are showing up and taking action even though it is super hard. I just have so much love for them. They really have just made my week.

The breakthroughs they are having are life-altering and I just cannot wait to see their transformations. And I am so loving this show and so grateful that you are listening each week. Today we’re going to talk about food and a different way to think about it.

For so long, we have labeled food as either healthy or not healthy. We’ve been told that one day a food is good for you, and then the next day it is not. Learning how food feels in your body and if it fuels you is important when getting off the diet roller coaster for good. And then of course, I will leave you with a couple transformational questions so you can start to take action today.

But before we get into today’s show, I want to do a listener shout-out. This is where I will read a review of the podcast every week. This week’s listener shout-out is to Sarah Turner. She wrote, “I’ve been listening to these, and the way Shannan breaks things down makes perfect sense and it feels so easy to follow. Anyone who thinks they’ve tried everything should really listen to this to break open their minds to a new way of thinking.”

Sarah, I love that review. I am just so grateful for it and I love that you’re listening. So we just came back from Sedona and my husband and I went up there for a really quick getaway. We have been so busy and we just needed a little break.

It is so gorgeous up there and honestly, I always feel so peaceful when I am there. We stayed at this beautiful resort and had a beautiful room with a fireplace and an outside patio. And the views were spectacular.

And I posted some of those pics in our Weight Loss for Successful Women private Facebook group and we’ll put the link in the show notes so you can see them. I just love taking some time for me and for us. It is absolutely the best.

So I feel really rested and I’m so excited today to talk about food. And I get asked all the time, what should I eat? I even have ladies email or comment asking for a food plan. I know that you want to know what to eat to lose weight. We have all looked for that magical food that we lose tons of weight on.

But everyone’s body is different. What my body needs for fuel and what your body needs are two different things. This is one of the reasons why I believe we have all been on the diet roller coaster. We never learn to pay attention to our body and what fuels it.

So in today’s show, I’m going to talk about another one of my four fundamentals that I teach and it’s all about fueling that beautiful body you’re in. When I first started dieting, it was all about counting calories.

So I remember I was on 1000-calorie a day diet and I would make sure that every day, part of the 1000 calories, I had a Snickers bar because I loved a Snickers bar. I still do. And almost Snickers, I love it. So 200 and some calories would be nothing that fueled me and ladies, I have to be honest. Some days I had all 1000 calories full of sugar.

I would feel terrible but I was sticking to my 1000 calories. Then entered the low-fat era where everything was low fat. Do you remember SnackWell’s? I loved the chocolate ones with the marshmallow filling. I mean, they were chocked full of sugar. They didn’t really make me feel that good, but they were low-fat and you all remember Susan Powter.

If you’re old enough, you remember her with her blonde hair, running around really telling us that low-fat was the way to go. But then ladies, everyone changed their minds. Then Atkins came and it was completely high fat. And now keto.

I have to tell you this really quick story, but honestly, I did Atkins many, many times and let me just tell you, I’ve eaten enough cheeseburgers with bacon for a lifetime, even though I still eat them today. For real, I did.

And this one time when my son, he was younger, we got a little George Foreman grill in our third-story apartment and I was making hamburgers every single night. Now, my son was always a meat eater. He loved it. But after about a month of hamburgers on that little George Foreman grill, he looked at me and said, “Mom, I just cannot eat another burger. Please stop.”

So you know, this is the things that we do, ladies. We listen to everyone else and what they tell us. It’s funny. My husband just reminded me, I don’t know, maybe a month or two ago, that I actually once went to a hypnotist. I actually had forgotten that I had went to her.

And I went there because I thought I needed to stop eating cheese. And I know that sounds crazy, but I love cheese and I thought that – I mean, I was convinced that if I just stopped eating cheese, I would lose the weight. So I went to her and she was so sweet and nice. I didn’t stop eating cheese, and the crazy part is I still eat cheese today.

I eat it, I’ve lost weight on it, and it actually feels good in my body. First, fat was horrible, and now eat 70% worth of fat on keto. I mean, all of this happened in my lifetime. The change in philosophy.

So loves, our bodies are amazing. Some of us produce humans out of them. I carried a human. I have a son who now I have four beautiful grandchildren and my son was once in my body. I mean, when you really think about it, it’s so crazy.

And even for those of us who don’t produce humans, I mean, our liver reproduces. We get a cut and it heals. I mean, I can go on and on about our bodies. They have these built-in signals that tell us what feels good and what doesn’t.

The problem is we’ve become so disconnected, loves. So disconnected because we have listened to everyone else tell us what we should eat. I do not teach or recommend a specific diet because I have found a better way to lose weight and keep it off.

I will never tell my jumpstarters what to eat. I will never give a food plan. I just don’t believe in diets because our bodies, loves, they know what fuels it. My body knows when something feels good in it, and when I eat something that is non-fuel, my body knows that too.

When I eat foods that fuel me, I feel energized, I feel good. When I eat foods that do not fuel me, I feel heavy, sluggish. My body now craves good food. It wants food that fuels me. All kinds of different foods. There is no major food group that is out of my diet and I have lost weight on all of that.

I eat potatoes and carbs. I know, ladies, it sounds crazy. But I do because it feels good in my body and I can lose weight and maintain my weight on it. We have to become, ladies, the scientists of our own body. We have listened long enough to the “experts” on what we should or should not eat.

And what I’ve learned is that when I listen to my body, it knows. Have you ever had flowers that maybe you had not watered and they are wilting? And then you give them a little bit of water, I mean, they just spring up. That is how your body feels when you eat food that fuels it.

It can also feel neutral. There are foods that I eat that I don’t feel good or bad, I don’t feel as energized, but that’s okay too. I still consider those fuel foods. And you know, for so long we have labeled food as good or bad, but honestly loves, it’s not good or bad. It’s just neutral. It just is.

Foods either fuel you or they don’t, and ladies, some “good food” might not fuel you. So for example, when one of my clients, she eats fruit, she comes alive. She loves berries and they feel so good in her body. They make her feel energized. Now ladies, when I eat fruit, it makes me feel sluggish. It kind of gives me a belly ache.

I don’t eat fruit very often because for me, it’s not fuel. Now, a banana is probably the easiest fruit that feels okay, sometimes neutral in my body. But loves, a baked potato feels great in my body. It energizes me. I can lose and maintain weight having some potatoes in my diet.

This is what I’m saying ladies. We all have these different bodies and we have to – I want to say it again – become the scientists of our own bodies. So you ladies know, protein shakes are all the rage. I mean, so I decided I was going to drink them with almond milk, another “all the rage.”

I started to notice that I felt tired after I drank one. Almost a little sick. And I was crazy hungry 30 minutes after I would drink one. After some testing, I realized it was the almond milk. Almonds, although many would say is healthy, was not good for my body.

It’s funny because I ate a Kind bar the other day because I do like them before I shot some videos for my jumpstarters and I kept having to stop the video because I wasn’t feeling that good. And my son edited the videos and he – I’m not even kidding. He was over here in my office. He was like, “Mom, seriously, stop eating almonds.”

I was like, okay, I know I got to stop eating the almonds. So loves, stop relying on everyone else to tell you what to eat. Stop looking through Pinterest to find the next food plan. Test foods in your body and see if they feel good.

Ask yourself 10 minutes and 30 minutes after you eat how did the food make you feel? Do you feel energized? Do you feel satiated? Or do you feel sluggish and have a belly ache? I’m teaching this to my jumpstarters and they are having amazing results.

And you know love, sometimes you’re going to choose to eat foods that do not fuel you and that is okay. Put it on your realistic plan and make the decision to do it. Loves, you can eat the donut or not. It has always been your choice. I’ve learned how to do this successfully, not like the past where I would eat a donut and then it would end in a full out three-week binge.

It’s funny, when we went to Sedona, I just had a New York cheesecake. It was awesome. And I put it on my realistic plan and I ate it. I stopped after a few bites because I was full, but I got to enjoy it and then I was done. No drama, no deprivation, no crazy stomach ache.

Loves, that is the power of learning the foods that fuel you and that don’t, and then making the decision that if you want to eat a food that doesn’t fuel you, you just put it on your realistic plan. I am telling you loves, this has changed my life. Honestly, I was on that roller coaster for 38 years and these fundamentals have just changed it for me.

So loves, here are the transformational questions. Number one, what beliefs do you have around healthy and not healthy food? And number two, what would you have to think to start becoming the scientist of your own body?

So loves, spend some time over the next week paying attention to your body and what fuels it. You are so worth the time investment. Become the scientist of your own body.

So much fun loves, spending some time with you, and to celebrate the launch of the show, I am going to be giving away a $50 Amazon gift card to 12 lucky listeners who subscribe, rate, and review this show on iTunes. It doesn’t have to be a five-star review, although I sure hope you love the show.

I want your honest feedback so I can create an awesome show that provides a ton of value for you. Visit bflycoaching.com/podcastlaunch to learn more about the contest and how to enter it. I’ll be announcing the winners on the show in an upcoming episode. So much love to all of you and I just can’t wait to spend more time with you on next week’s episode.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Ep #8: Stop the Beatings

Getting off the diet roller coaster takes some deep inner work, and today I’m sharing a method that can be hard for us to really harness. This process takes time, but it is the key to getting off for good and living your best life.

I hear so many of my clients tell me, “No way can I love this body I’m in,” and I was in that boat for a very long time too. Our brains love to pick at all the negative parts of ourselves, and when you think you’ve overcome one negative thought, another one seems to pop up elsewhere. Today, I’m diving into what self-love really means and how you can stop beating yourself up for how you look or what you weigh to produce really lasting change.

Join me this week as I show you how loving yourself can transform everything for you. Self-love can be difficult to practice when we see so much we don’t like about ourselves, but beating yourself up is not the way forward.

And here are this week’s transformational questions:

  1. What are the prevalent negative thoughts that you have about yourself?
  2. What would change for you if you were your best friend?

I am so excited to be bringing you this show, and to celebrate the launch of the podcast I’m giving away $50 Amazon gift cards to 12 lucky listeners. To find out how to enter, click here!


What You’ll Discover:

  • How our lizard brains love to highlight the negatives.
  • What self-love really means and how to practice it.
  • Why your relationship with yourself is the most important one to take care of.
  • How beating yourself up doesn’t produce long-lasting change.


Listen to the Full Episode:


Featured on the Show:


Full Episode Transcript:

 

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number eight.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. I am so loving this show and just so grateful you’re tuning in each week. Today we’re going to talk about self-love and how we can stop the beatings. It is so important when getting off the diet roller coaster for good. We have to learn to love ourselves.

And ladies, stay with me. I know when I say that, your lizard brains start to go crazy. And then of course, I’ll leave you with a couple transformational questions so you can start to take action today. But before we get into today’s show, I want to do a listener shout-out.

This is where I will read a review of the podcast every week. This week’s listener shout-out is to Zoey’s Journey. She wrote, “Listening to these podcasts, I couldn’t help but cry. I honestly feel like I’m not alone on this roller coaster for the first time in a long time. Listening to this felt like she was telling my story, the story I’m currently living, and giving me the courage and advice to change the storyline. My storyline. Figuring out my honest why and making a commitment to myself. I’m going to do this realistically, as suggested. Thank you so much for these podcasts. Can’t wait to learn more.”

I love that review. And I’m so grateful, Zoey’s Journey. It is such a powerful and impactful review. Thank you so much. And we are getting close to drawing for our winners, so for those of you who have reviewed and rated the show, we are going to do our drawing in episode 10.

Now, if you haven’t done it yet, there’s still a couple weeks so please subscribe, rate, and review the show and details on that and how to get entered, it will be at the end of today’s show.

So a couple weeks ago, I went to a retreat in Nashville. It was hosted by one of my teachers. She posted something back in April. It said something about a retreat plus her. So I was totally in. I signed up as soon as I got the payment link. I wasn’t even sure what the topic was.

But then I learned that it was a photo confidence retreat. Now, I have done a lot of work to love my body. I used to hate it no matter what weight I was at. Whether I was thin or not, I just didn’t like my body. I actually had so many negative thoughts about it.

But I learned through my process to really love it and you know, when I talk to my jumpstarters about the concept of loving their body, their first response, most always is no way, Shannan. No way can I love this body I’m in.

It’s so hard for us to believe as women that we could love the body, the skin, the fat, the stretch marks, the wrinkles. But loves, it is possible. So I received the pre-work for the retreat. I honestly had the thought, well, mostly I’m good with photos and this work will be fine.

The challenge was to take a selfie each day. I decided I was going to do it. All in. And in all kinds of positions, lighting, no makeup, and I realized I still had a lot of negative thoughts, especially about my neck. Now, stay with me ladies, I know, my neck.

I used to weigh 315 pounds. I have loose skin. And as I get older, the looser it gets. So I show up in Nashville, stay at this amazing hotel. It was the Thompson and it was beautiful. And honestly, we were so lucky. They upgraded us to a suite.

So it was beautiful and they had a bathtub, it was amazing. It was this older clawfoot tub. It was beautiful. Now, I have a rule about bathtubs in hotels. I honestly never use them but it was so beautiful so I washed it out and I took a bath every day. It was amazing.

So I show up the first night at the retreat, and honestly loves, I had all the thoughts. Don’t show up, Shannan, why did you do this? Call in sick. Stay at the hotel, it’s so beautiful. I mean, my lizard was in full effect. I was going to a retreat where I didn’t know anyone but my teacher. And I was super nervous and scared.

But I made a commitment, and I have learned that I can allow those crazy thoughts and still show up for myself, so I showed up. I made a commitment in the ride over to the retreat house that I was going to be vulnerable. I was not going to sit in the back row and be an observer.

So the first night, I put out that I had a lot of negative thoughts about my neck, and that in photos, I could see the loose skin. And of course, all the ladies were like no, you’re beautiful, what are you talking about? But ladies, I understand. When I look at my neck, I see the loose skin. There are times that I am hyper-focused on it.

So part of the retreat was a photo shoot on Sunday. I decided I was going to love the photos and my neck. We had this amazing photographer and I’ll ask Pavel and team to put her information in the show notes but she is amazing. She’s on my Instagram. You can follow me on Instagram @bflycoaching or @shannanchristiansen and she’s on there. It’s @teresaearnestsocial, and amazing photos. And she is quick.

So I received my photos Sunday night and I looked at my neck and loved it. But then, loves, my brain went to, ugh, that eyeshadow is too heavy. It started going after other parts of the picture. Loves, I just stopped and I realized again that my brain is always going to try to show me the negative.

It doesn’t mean that it’s true, and most of the times, it is not true. Loves, negative thoughts will never fully go away, but learning how to allow them and then know that they are not true is where the magic is.

Today’s show is all about finding self-love and stopping the continual beating up of ourselves. I remember my mom telling me that I should love myself. I did not understand it until I started to do this work. It’s about learning how to keep commitments to ourselves, to stop lying to ourselves, to show kindness and love to ourselves as we would show a stranger.

I moved a ton when I was younger and I was always having to make new friends. I put a lot of energy into my friendships and relationships. I wanted to fit in. I cared about what others thoughts. I was taught to be kind to others. But loves, there is one person that I am around the most who I know intimately and who is always there, and it is me.

As I’ve aged, I’ve learned the most important relationship is the one I have with myself. In my early adulthood, I never thought about that. I was always worried about pleasing others. I never stopped to think, what did I think of me?

I learned that the most important relationship is the one I have with myself. That I have to care for myself first, that I am my best friend. That I have to please me, take care of me, be kind to me. Because when we are neglecting ourselves, the other relationships in our lives, they feel heavy. They feel like burdens.

We’re missing the gifts and joy because we’re neglecting the relationship we have with ourselves. And then loves, we start to resent others around us because we’re not taking care of ourselves.

We also spend a lot of time beating ourselves up, thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. I made a conscious decision that I was not going to beat myself up anymore, which means when I have a negative thought about myself, I just allow it, and then I just say something like, “Love, that is not true.” Or I replace it with, “Love, that neck is beautiful.”

I talk to myself as I would someone I loved. I talk in a way that is kind, understanding, direct, and I hold myself accountable. My jumpstarters are really learning how to notice their thoughts right now and it is difficult at first. We have lived so many years pushing down our feelings and ignoring our thoughts.

So this process takes time and a whole lot of patience and kindness to ourselves. We have to learn to have self-thoughts, similar to how we would talk to our best friends, our children, our grandbabies. We need to be our best friends.

I am kind to myself but I don’t lie to myself either. That’s part of loving myself. I tell myself the truth. When I’m justifying a behavior, I can be honest about it. If I choose to eat the donut, it’s a conscious decision. I do not lie and tell myself I deserve it or that I need it.

I don’t beat myself up for my failures. I ask myself, what am I learning? What can I do better next time? And I don’t live in the lie of perfectionism. Loves, I am not perfect. I am a beautiful human and have learned to love myself in the skin and all of the imperfections that I am in.

And I know loves, that it can be hard because we have so many negative thoughts about ourselves in a day. But love, you can start to become a watcher of those thoughts. You can allow a thought and challenge it. No one ever had long-lasting change by beating themselves up. It just does not work.

Loves, we have done that enough for a lifetime. Love is the only way I have found to get off the diet rollercoaster and lose weight for good. Loving myself, working on the relationship I have with myself, caring and wanting the best for me.

And when you start to care for yourself, you will want better things for yourself. You’ll want better food that fuels you, you’ll want to move your body more, you’ll want to speak kinder to yourself, and then loves, something starts to shift. You’ll start to dream again. You’ll start to want better things for yourself. This is what happens.

So I want to leave you with a couple transformational questions to ask yourself and really reflect on this concept because this concept of learning to be your best friend and learning what really loving yourself is, it is life-changing, loves.

So number one, what are the prevalent negative thoughts that you have about yourself? And number two, what would change for you if you were your best friend? Love, decide on purpose to stop the beatings, to be your best friend, to love yourself. You are worth this, love.

So much fun loves, spending some time with you, and to celebrate the launch of the show, I am going to be giving away a $50 Amazon gift card to 12 lucky listeners who subscribe, rate, and review this show on iTunes. It doesn’t have to be a five-star review, although I sure hope you love the show.

I want your honest feedback so I can create an awesome show that provides a ton of value for you. Visit bflycoaching.com/podcastlaunch to learn more about the contest and how to enter it. I’ll be announcing the winners on the show in an upcoming episode. So much love to all of you and I just can’t wait to spend more time with you on next week’s episode.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!

Enjoy the Show?

Transform Boss Weight Loss

TRANSFORM BOSS FREE CHALLENGE!

The Transform Boss Free Challenge is BACK! Learn the tools Shannan still uses today – to get you off the diet roller coaster, for good. Register now for the 7-day challenge beginning July 10th!

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