Ep #21: How Confirmation Bias Is Keeping You Stuck

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 21.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves. I love being back with you ladies today. I was just outside and it is beautiful here in Arizona. The sun is out and honestly, I just love it. I love being in the sun. Something about it just energizes me. So today we’re going to talk about confirmation bias and how it shows up in weight loss. And you know, as always, there will be a few transformational questions at the end to help you start taking action today.

Okay ladies, it’s time for our listener shout-out. This is the part of the show where I read a review of the podcast. This week’s shout-out is to Fsn Forever23. She wrote, “Great, consistent material. Shannan is honest and genuinely wants to help women lose weight. Her material is different from the standard meal plans or diets. I’ve been following her for months and her weight loss tools and processes really work. I’m a fan forever.”

Well, thank you so much Fsn Forever23. I mean, you ladies know I love these reviews. I read every single one of them. This morning my husband and I were looking over the next few months of travel and all the things we’re doing. We like to plan out our time and ensure we have plenty of joy and lots of rest.

I mean, we have a lot of trips planned over the next three months. I mean, some for work and some for fun. I mean, we are going to California, Maui, Marco Island, Delaware, Dallas, and Utah, just to name a few. The next three months are really busy for us.

Now, I’m excited about traveling. I mean, my husband and I love to travel. But I will not lie. I also feel a little stressed, and more importantly, overwhelmed. In the next three months, BFly also has two free five-day challenges and Jumpstart will be launching again. And add in my amazing day job, family, g-babies, birthdays, and all the things.

I mean, honestly love, it can just start to feel like a lot. But what I’ve learned is to feel the feeling of overwhelm and then change my thought so I can feel something different. I want my focus to just be today. I want to enjoy everything that is going on today. I don’t want to worry about the future or what might be.

I mean, I know how to plan now. I know how to be a master of my time. I know how to add in all the fun things and ensure I’m getting plenty of rest and self-care. The next three months will be no different. I will stick to the commitments I’ve made myself, follow my plan, and just have the best time.

And loves, know that it will all still be 50/50. So I’m excited about today’s show because we’re going to talk about confirmation bias and how it shows up. So have you ever texted a friend and they don’t respond, so then you start thinking, “What have I done wrong? Are they mad at me?” Then you go back and you look at your last text to see if you could have made them mad or you replay the last interaction you had with them to see if you said something wrong.

I mean, honestly, you drive yourself mad thinking about what you could have done because obviously they’re mad at you, right? I mean, obviously. You’re looking for evidence to prove that to be true. I mean, it could be 100 other things like they don’t have their phone, they thought they texted you back but they didn’t hit send. I mean, it could be all sorts of things, but your brain is searching for evidence to prove what you believe to be true.

This is called confirmation bias. The official definition is the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one’s existing beliefs or theories. Our brains are always looking for evidence to prove our thoughts and beliefs true. So whatever we believe or think, we just keep reinforcing it over and over.

Have you ever seen two people tell a story from 10 years ago? It is very different. Like, very different. It’s because we have an interpretation of what happened in the past and then we have filtered it through our own thoughts and beliefs.

I see this with clients. One client will have had trauma from the past and they believed they were strong and that they overcame it, and that they made them who they are today. They feel power from it. Then I’ll have another client with a very similar trauma and they feel disempowered and like a victim. They’re still suffering from it.

The reason two people can have similar things happen but view it different is because of confirmation bias. The first client in this story who believed that they are strong and that they overcame the trauma is looking for evidence that they are strong. So their brain is focused on finding that evidence, that they are powerful.

While client two feels disempowered, like a victim, so their brain is looking for evidence to prove that true. Looking for evidence that they’re a victim. I mean, think about that for a moment. Whatever we believe or think, our brain is just looking for evidence to support it, good or bad, for us or against us.

As a bonus in my Jumpstart program, I teach a relationship module. I mean, I love this module and this often comes up for spouses. So let’s just say you’ve been married for a while and you start thinking that your spouse does not love you. Your brain then goes to work looking for all the reasons this is true.

He could come home late because there was an accident on the freeway, but your brain will turn that into, “He does not love me.” I mean, he could forget to take out the trash. Your brain, “He does not love me.” Even if he did 52 other amazing things, your brain is not looking for how amazing he is. It’s looking to prove that he does not love you.

I mean, loves, just think about that for a minute. Your brain is always looking for evidence of what you believe is true. I see this all the time with my weight loss clients. They come to me and say, “I can’t lose weight,” or, “Weight loss is hard.” So when they think or believe this, the brain is going to dig in deep to find the evidence that this is true.

It’s going to give you all the reasons why you can’t lose weight. All the failed attempts, all the negative thoughts that you’re not good enough, that you can’t do it. Also, if you think weight loss is hard, then your brain actually goes to work finding all the reasons losing weight is hard. Even if you’ve been losing weight and you’re doing so much good, your brain will start looking for evidence of why it’s hard. And then love, you will start to sabotage.

it’s so important to understand how our brain works because loves, so much of what we think or believe, it’s just not true. We have to challenge our thoughts, challenge the way we think. We have to talk to our lizards in our brains more than we listen to it. We cannot continue to let our lizards run free.

Just because you have a thought or belief, it does not make it true. And remember that if you think something, your brain is going to get to work and go find the evidence, good or bad, knowing that if you have a thought, “I can’t lose weight,” then you’re more likely, you won’t lose weight.

What you’ll have to do is change the thought from I can’t lose weight to something that you can believe, and that’s so important. And then your brain will get to work looking for evidence to support it. So first you can start out with I could lose weight, or I have lost weight in the past. And then watch your brain start to go to work looking for evidence to support that thought.

You can also try I am losing weight, or weight loss is easy. I mean, I love that thought. I use it in my business. Business is easy. Find the thought that you can believe right now and start practicing it. And then ask yourself some of these transformational questions.

How is confirmation bias showing up as a negative in your life right now? How is confirmation bias showing up as a positive in your life right now? And what do I want to believe about losing weight? Oh loves, so good. If you love this work and want to go deeper, take my free course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!