Ep #56: My Family Makes it Hard for Me to Lose Weight

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 56.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello love. I am so happy to be back with you. I am excited about today’s show. I hear a lot of this from the ladies, that the reason why I overeat is my family. And we’re going to dive in today and I’m going to give you a couple ideas of maybe something different you can try.

But as always, first, I want to give a listener shout-out. This is where I’ll read a review of the podcast every week. And this week’s listener shout-out is to Jen. She wrote, “Love the podcast. Comparison happens far too often and can steal our joy. Funny how the person we are usually comparing ourselves to is comparing themselves to us. Thanks for the reminder. Love how short and impactful these podcasts are.”

Thank you so much Jen. You know ladies, I love these reviews. I love that you ladies are listening. And if you love the show, please rate and review it. We do have a contest happening right now and so if you rate and review the show, you’ll be entered into receive a $150 gift card. And I’m going to give away two of them.

So rate and review on iTunes or Apple. And then email me at support@bflycoaching.com with the title of your review and you’re in. Now, the one catch is it really does have to be on iTunes or Apple, but you know love, we got you.

So loves, oh my gosh, I have to tell you, by the time you’re listening to this, the Transform Boss virtual event will be over. And you know loves, we have been working, my team and I, because we really want to make this event so special for our Transform ladies. But I have to tell you something that happened tonight.

So we are practicing. And so my son came over just to make sure that all of the cameras, all of the things, the lighting, everything was kind of set up. And this is the second time that we’ve gone through everything. But we want to do it three times, just to make sure everything is good for Saturday.

So my son came over and we started messing with our main camera. And it was not working. It was not working. And so we messed with it for an hour and it just was not working. It kept – it was all kinds of problems.

And so I was like, okay, well, the event is in two days. So we are going to Best Buy. So my son and I pack up, we get to Best Buy, they don’t have a large selection of cameras. But we’re like, okay, we chose one. It’s a Sony. It’s probably okay.

But we also needed to get this part. And they didn’t have the part. And so we had a very nice young man who was helping us, and he found the part like, 40 miles away. I look at my son and I’m just like, holy moly. But yes, we got to go do it. And my son looked at me and he said, “Mom, I got you. I’m going to run and go get the part. You go home.”

And so such a sweetheart he is. So basically, I came home, he went actually and picked up his wife and my grand babies, and they took a family trip to the other side of town to get this one part. You know loves, this is how it works. This is how it happens.

And I think preparation is so important, but who knows on Saturday. You just never know when you’re dealing with technology. That is the one thing I know for sure. But I am just so excited to spend this time with my ladies. The event is five hours. I know it’s going to go super-fast. But I’m excited to teach and to show them that they can end self-sabotage.

And they can get through the holidays without gaining weight. I think it’s just one of the things that ladies are always struggling with, and it’s the holidays. And being able to enjoy all of our family traditions and all the fun without making it this full binge session. Because I really do think though the holiday seasons are my favorite time of the year, they’re busy and there’s some stress.

And I know for so many of you ladies who are listening, there’s stress, there is all kinds of emotions. I miss my mom during this time of the year the most I would say because we had so many family traditions together. And so it brings up a lot of emotions.

And so I think it’s important, ladies, that as you go through the holidays, keep listening. Because I for sure am going to do a couple podcasts on the holidays and if you’re one of my Transform bosses, we’re going to do a lot of stuff around really getting through the holidays and being able to deal with all of the emotion so it’s the best holiday season ever.

So let’s dive into today’s episode. I know that some ladies really believe that losing weight can be hard because of their families. Because they cook for their families, or they have sweets in the house, because they have kids, or their partner or spouse or even friends, maybe roommates are always bringing sweets or chips or pizza into the house.

And they believe that they can’t have an urge or have that stuff around or they’ll overeat it. I can’t tell you how many times I would go on a diet, when I was dieting, and I would clean the cupboard. You ladies know what I’m talking about, right?

You will throw away all the cookies and all the goodies and all the things, and your family is like, oh my gosh, she is going on another diet. Yes. And I’m just saying loves, there’s just a different way. The process that I teach and what I think is so important about this process is that you really learn to desire food less.

When I was losing weight, I had to learn how to desire food less. I had to learn how to handle an urge. And my husband, I have to tell you ladies, we always have ice cream sandwiches in the house. He loves them. I just actually bought two boxes of them a week ago and they’re all gone.

And I didn’t even eat one of them and it’s so interesting to me because I didn’t even have the urge to eat them. And this is what is possible when you learn how to lose weight by changing your mindset. If you’re on the diet roller coaster and you’re on a diet, and you’re restricting and you’re doing all the things that diets do, focused on the food and not your mindset, then you’re always going to be wanting all the things.

And so that when your family, your husband brings up chocolate, you’re going to have a tough time with it. And part of this process is learning how to desire food less, become connected with your body, so that you know how food feels in it.

The reason why ice cream sandwiches, I could eat it or not, and if I want one, I put it on my plan, is because mostly they don’t feel that great in my body. And I love eating food that feels good in my body. I love feeling energized from food. That is part of this process.

So I want to talk through three scenarios that I think happens. The first is you have to cook meals for your family, and you don’t want to eat separately. So love, eat what they’re eating. Stop when you’re satiated. Or if you really don’t want to eat what they’re eating and you want to eat a separate meal, then do it.

You are in control. You get to decide. Don’t have a little pity party for yourself about how you can’t eat what they’re eating. You want to eat food that fuels you, that actually is so good. We think that we’re being deprived when we’re not eating something that is contributing to us not having the body that we want.

I’m just here to say when you eat food that is not on your plan, or food that you’re eating past full, and you’re overeating, you’re depriving yourself of all your dreams, all your goals, of a body that feels like freedom. Not eating an Oreo cookie, that’s not deprivation. Deprivation is when you are deprived of living your very best life.

I want you to really think about this, love. Because we think that if our kids are eating Oreos, that I can’t have it, poor me. I mean love, I know, I did this for a really long time. But I’m just here to say that what you’re really depriving yourself of is a body that you love, a body that feels like freedom, movement that feels good, food that fuels you, that energizes you.

Yes love, when we think about it differently, then things start to change. So number two, your spouse, partner, your friends, they bring the treats and they want you to eat them. Love, food is always going to be around. It just it. For most of us, it just is.

I mean, I’m not going into work right now, but one day I will go back, and there’s always food. There’s always treats. You know I’ve talked about Marie bringing me donuts on Fridays. And I can politely say no. This is what I’m saying. You always get to decide. You always get a choice.

And you want to be able to decide on purpose how you want to fuel your body. And I know that many of you and I had this too, I had one of my friends who – we were kind of eating buddies. I’d say eating besties. And as I started going through this process and learning something different, our relationship had to change a little.

And not in a bad way. We just had to find other things to do. And think about that with your spouse, your partner, your friends. How do you build a relationship with them where it’s not centered around food? Where you find other joy and other pleasure with them, instead of just food?

This is how you begin to build a life that is full of real pleasure. Not false pleasure like a cupcake. I mean, I like a cupcake but it’s just really false pleasure.

So if your spouse or your partner or your friends bring treats, or mostly what you do with them is eat, you go to restaurants or you have food brought in, I really want you just to decide on purpose how you want to handle that. If you know that your spouse is always going to bring home pizza on Friday nights, put it on your plan. Put a piece.

And then make sure that you have lots of veggies or lots of other things that fuel you so you can fuel your body. You always get to decide, love. You always. I think the worst thing – one of the worst things that we do as women is we give our power away to other people.

And I am saying you always have a choice and you always get to decide. And when you can decide ahead of time, when you can decide on purpose, it just makes everything that much easier.

Number three, there is food for my kids and husband in the house and I cannot resist. Love, allow the urge. Food is going to be in your house. And every day, you get to make a realistic plan. And when you make your realistic plan, then if it’s not on your plan, you can make a decision. Well, those cookies look really good, I’m going to put it on my plan tomorrow.

You always get to decide how you’re going to fuel your body. And you don’t have to empty your pantry out and you don’t have to get rid of everything. You can learn how to desire the food less and how to handle the urge, especially when you’re making a realistic plan. Because you always can put whatever you want on your realistic plan.

And as you start to connect with your body and you start to feel how food feels in your body, you will notice that you want more fuel in your body. I do. I love food that fuels me. I love feeling good. I love feeling energized. And you will notice over time and through this process that you will want more fuel food than not.

If you’re just beginning on this process of changing your mindset, again love, meet yourself where you’re at. And it really isn’t about your family or your friends or your children. It’s about you learning to change your thoughts and beliefs around the food that fuels your body.

You got this, love. You just have to decide that you’re worth this work and that you can handle an urge, you can allow an urge. And you want to choose food that feels good for your body more than not. It’s not that you’re never going to put non-fuel food on your realistic plan. You totally are. I totally do.

But mostly what I eat is food that feels good in my body. And I never blame anyone else for the choices that I make because I always get to make the choice. I always get to make the decision. You got this, love. You really do.

Today’s transformational questions are when it comes to your family and food, what decisions ahead of time do you want to make? And then number two, what real pleasure could you plan instead of eating with your bestie, your partner, your husband? So good, my love.

Next week, I am going to talk about all things fear. I mean, we’re coming up on Halloween and all, so I thought we’d talk about it. Alright my love, bye for now.

If you loved listening to this podcast, I would love to have you come check out Transform weight loss program. It is my monthly coaching program where we take this work to a whole new level. And ladies learn how to lose weight for good in a way that they can always do. Join me over at bflycoaching.com/join. I’d love to have you join me in Transform weight loss program.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!