Ep #20: How to Stay Clear of Indulgent Emotions

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 20.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello, love. So excited to be back today. Can you even believe it, episode number 20? I just am so excited about this podcast. And I love doing it every week and I’m just so happy that all of you ladies are listening.

And for today, we’re going to talk about indulgent emotions. And, as always, there will be a few transformational questions at the end, so you can start taking some action today.

Ladies, it is time for our listener shout-out. This is where I read a review of the podcast in each episode. And this week’s shout-out is to TerriLynn67. She wrote, “I really like that Shannan has been overweight and has lived what I’m living and is willing to share how she succeeded by changing her thought process to lose weight.”

Thank you so much, TerriLynn67. I mean, I love these reviews. I really do understand what it’s like to be overweight. I was that way most of my life. And every time I read one of these reviews, it just touches my heart. Thank you, ladies, all of you ladies who have taken the time to leave a review. I read each and every one of them.

As I sit here today, we have been busy in BFLY. I mean, I love watching our company grow. I love watching all our Jumpstarters show up for themselves and all the ladies. It is just such an honor to watch them be vulnerable and open.

I know how hard that can be. I will never forget the first blog post I wrote with the story of my weight loss. I actually put the number, the scale number, out in the world. I had never publicly put the number out before. I mean, I felt open, like an open scab, so vulnerable. It was so uncomfortable.

I remember feeling so sick that night. But now, I say 315 pounds or 247 pounds or 280 pounds like it’s nothing. I just don’t make it mean anything about me. It was just part of my story.

But you know, loves, I know how difficult it can be to be vulnerable and to be open. I mean, we’ve been hiding the secret for so long and even though people can see that we’re overweight, boy, we have a lot of secrets there.

So, becoming an entrepreneur has got me feeling all kinds of things; good and bad. But I have noticed that I can feel worried or confused a lot; a lot, ladies. The tech part of this job is new to me, and I have just been learning so much.

But, loves, sometimes it just feels so overwhelming. And then, my lizard, also known as Lizzy, is suddenly confused or worried, that everything will fail. And when I feel confused or worried, loves, I actually do nothing. I feel paralyzed. I start making reasons why I want to stay in bed and watch Netflix and not get to work.

So, today on the show, I want to talk about indulgent emotions. These are emotions that, honestly, I could live without them. They don’t do anything for me, and mostly, I don’t take action when I’m feeling any of these emotions.

Indulgent emotions are emotions like confusion, worry, and self-pity. When I think about worry, it is just such a useless feeling. If I worry about something that could happen, that might happen, I am just wasting my brainpower.

I think about this when I was losing weight, I would worry that I had so much weight to lose and that it would take forever, and what if I failed again? And, loves, worrying about how much I had to lose did not change the fact of how much weight I had to lose.

Worrying about failing did not help prepare me to succeed. I mean, my brain was worrying about failing. I worry about my children and grandchildren. I mean, it sounds loving, right? I mean, when we worry, it sounds like it’s something that’s serving us. But it just isn’t. It’s an indulgent emotion that causes inaction and mind chatter.

When I worry about things that I’m making assumptions about or that I cannot control, it just does not do anything for me. It truly is a waste of my brainpower.

Confusion is another. I mean, I would sit around for weeks thinking about what diet I was going to try and acting like I was confused. Should I try the Blood Type diet, give up carbs, go back to Weight Watchers? I mean, I really knew each and every time what I was going to do. But I let confusion take up brainpower and waste energy thinking about it.

Confusion is a way we stay in indecision. I see this all the time with my clients. They’re not making their realistic plan because they are, quote unquote, confused about what to put on it. when you just put realistically what you’re going to eat, and if you’re going somewhere that you do not know exactly what’s on the menu, you just put protein, starch, or veggie.

I mean, there really is never anything to be confused about. But our lizards love to be confused. Again, it just gives us a reason to stay comfortable. It keeps us from changing. It is one of the biggest dream-stealers out there. I see this all the time in my day job.

I see someone who wants to take on a new assignment or they want to change a job or careers. But, loves, they will stay in confusion about it for years. I’ve seen it even a lifetime.

Self-pity is another one. I used to be in this all the time. I would think, why me? Why do I have to struggle with this weight? Or, why did this happen to me? I have the worst luck.

I mean, loves, it was all nonsense. Again, it just kept me from taking action, taking accountability, and moving forward. It kept me stuck on the diet rollercoaster for almost 38 years.

Watch your brain when you’re in indulgent emotions. We think those thoughts are true, but they’re not. They’re just a way for us to do nothing, to stay comfortable, to do the same thing we’ve always done.

A trigger for me is when I’m not getting the result I want. Like, when I was losing weight and I stopped losing weight. I would ask myself, what thoughts are causing me not to lose weight? And so many times, it would be a thought causing confusion or self-pity, or worry.

The way to stay clear of indulgent emotions is watching your thoughts and notice when you’re feeling them. And then, ask yourself these transformational questions; is what I’m thinking right now true? Number two, what would I need to thin to stop feeling confused, worried, or self-pity? And number three what would I need to feel to take action right now that serves me? So good, love.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. It’s a free mini course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now, loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!