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Loving the Good, Loving the Bad. Finding balance.

shan1126, April 29, 2019May 14, 2019

Yesterday, we had a team meeting with our team that is supporting our new company. I have been so excited all week because this is the first meeting of the great new adventure we are on. I just could not wait for it. Yesterday, I started to notice I was having some negative feelings; overwhelm, anxiety, and I was nervous. I noticed the feelings, and then I recognized the thoughts that were twirling around in my brain. Can we do this? Is this too much? Are we going to let the team down? Is this going to be productive? Can we figure out all the tech? None of the thoughts were serving me. I sat with the feelings. I let them come in. I did not resist or try to push them down. I gently welcomed them. I did not reach for food. I always thought I should be happy. I always thought I should feel positive emotion 100% of the time. Isn’t that the way “those” happy people on Facebook feel. But honestly, I have learned it is 50/50. 50% of the time it is positive and 50% negative. When I first learned about this, I wanted to change the scale, I wanted it to be 70/30. I wanted 70% happy emotions and 30% negative. I was arguing with reality. Every day I feel a balance of emotions. I now know that it is ok to have negative emotion. I do not resist, avoid, or buffer. I allow it, I expect it. I notice what thoughts are causing the feelings. I ask myself, is this something I want to think, is it true, and does it serve me? We had our 1st team meeting yesterday and it was awesome! But there were all kinds of different emotions that were present. We just sat with them, allowed them, and moved on to the creation of something amazing!

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