Ep #23: Why Weight Loss Is Lonely

You are listening to the Weight Loss for Successful Women podcast with Shannan Christiansen, episode number 23.

Welcome to Weight Loss for Successful Women, a podcast for women who are ready to break the diet cycle and end their struggle with weight for good. Here’s your host, Fortune 100 executive and Certified Life Coach, Shannan Christiansen.

Hello loves, so excited to be back today. I just love spending some time with you ladies. So I have been thinking about all the secrets I used to keep around overeating. I felt alone, and on today’s show, I want to explore why we feel lonely when it comes to weight loss, and how we can stop feeling lonely. And then of course I’ll leave you with a couple of transformational questions to help you start taking action today.

We think if we’re just disgusted enough that it will force us to lose weight, but loves, it has never worked. Hating ourselves and our bodies will not produce a positive action. When we think thoughts that make us feel disgust, sadness, or disappointed, we overeat. I mean, that’s just what we do.

It’s a vicious cycle that I think so many of us have done. This Valentine’s Day, as I think of all the love in my life and how I want to celebrate it, I think about the love I have for myself. How I love the body I’m in, how grateful I am for this body, and how grateful I am for me.

So today loves, think about you. Ask yourself, how can I fall back in love with myself? Because only with love will you be able to get off the diet rollercoaster for good.

Ladies, it is time for our listener shout-out. This is where I read a review of the podcast in each episode. This week’s shout-out is to Peggy Dub. “I have struggled with my weight my entire adult life. People think because I’m not hundreds of pounds overweight, it’s not a big deal, but it is to me. I’m ashamed of how I look and I’m not even comfortable in my own skin.

When I came across Shannan’s page and free mini sessions, it was really a sign from god that someone is here to help me. I really enjoy listening to her and she is so inspirational to me that I’ll continue to listen. I’m very new to this but I’m also very hopeful and encouraged by what I’ve heard. Thank you, Shannan, for being here for us all. God bless you.”

Peggy, thank you so much. That was the sweetest review. I do know how it feels to be uncomfortable in your own skin. I lived that way most of my life. To always be worried about how you look and overall just not feel great about yourself.

So let’s get to today’s show. I want to talk about our secrets and how it leads us to feel isolated and lonely. I remember feeling so much shame around my weight. I was successful in many areas of my life, but I just could not figure out how to lose weight and keep it off.

And ladies, weight is not a secret we can keep. Everyone can see us. They can see the weight. But it still does not keep us from hiding what we eat, sitting in our cars eating, or sneaking in the pantry while everyone is sleeping to eat.

I remember this story my mom used to tell. She loved Ho Hos. And this one day, she ate the entire box, and because she didn’t want my dad to know, she went to the store, bought another box, and ate a couple just so that he would not know that she had finished off the box.

I can’t tell you how many times I would stop at a gas station to get cinnamon rolls or candy, and then I would eat it before I got home, or go through a drive-through and order food for my family and order extra. And again, eat it before I got home.

I would sneak food in my office and eat it while no one was looking. I had so much shame around eating. I did not want anyone to know that I was overeating. I didn’t want my secret to get out. It just made me feel like I was alone. I had one of my beautiful clients email me. She wanted to know if I’d ever taken food out of the trash and ate it.

She felt so much shame around this and just thought something was wrong with her. I have totally thought, “I’m going to throw this away because I’m being good and I don’t want to eat it.” And then love, later I think, “Well, it’s still in the package and I can pull it out of the garbage without anything touching it.”

And then love, I pulled it back out and I’ve ate the cookies, right out of the trash. We carry these secrets and it just makes us feel so ashamed. It makes us feel like we are out of control. I think about how many times I would start a new diet. I would have it all planned in my head, or I might have even bought some new program.

And loves, I would not tell a soul. I did not want my coworkers or family to know that I started a new diet. I was so scared that I would fail that I did not want to tell anyone. I felt completely alone. And when I feel lonely, I just want to eat more. I want the comfort of food.

Here are a couple of ways to stop feeling lonely in weight loss. The first is to stop dieting and looking at quick fixes. I write a realistic plan every day, and if I’m going to eat cake, I put it on the plan. No shame, no hiding it. I made a decision that I was not going to hide anymore. I was not going to eat in private, I was not going to have any more secrets.

When I made that decision, it was so freeing. I did not care if someone made a remark or if I thought they would judge me. I decided that the only opinion that mattered was mine. When you live in integrity with yourself, when you fully open yourself up, it creates a freedom, a liberation from the prison we have been living in.

And I also needed a community. I needed women who were like me, who could support me, and also hold me accountable with no judgment. So I hired a coach years ago and I’ve had several since. I’m also part of a monthly group coaching program.

I did not want to feel alone anymore. I wanted to share my struggle that I had been going through. It was scary the first time I told someone my secrets, but loves, it was so freeing. And now I’m putting it on a podcast.

I mean, you do not have to do this alone, love. We have this beautiful community of women who support and love each other. We have a private women-only Facebook group of amazing women who are struggling with the same things, who are learning something different.

You can search Weight Loss for Successful Women on Facebook, and we’ll also put the link in the show notes. See loves, feeling lonely, keeping secrets, it just keeps us stuck on the diet roller coaster. It keeps us in the prison of our minds, and to escape we must decide to do something different, to come out of hiding, to be honest with ourselves and others, and then find a community where we can feel support and love.

My transformational questions for you today are when is the last time you hid what you ate? What secrets are you keeping when it comes to weight loss? And what could you do today to break free? So much love to all you ladies.

If you love this work and you want to go deeper, take my free course. You can learn more about it at bflycoaching.com/free-course. Bye for now loves.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Weight Loss for Successful Women. If you love what you heard today and want to learn more, come over to bflycoaching.com. That’s B – F – L – Y coaching dot com. See you next week!